- An unhappy person - who needs it?
- The habit of being unhappy
- Do you owe someone to be unhappy?
- Why are you unhappy?
- What to do in the end?
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Every person is born to be happy. However, every year life becomes more difficult and unfair. It is also surprising that in adult life a man cannot make himself a happy person. When creating a relationship with the woman you love, periods of crises and scandals still occur. Even if a person gets a job he loves, he is unable to earn a decent salary. Why are you unhappy? Have you ever tried to figure this issue out?
The men's magazine masculino.ru claims that more than 90% of men are unhappy. It doesn't matter in what area you are struggling. If you are constantly in a depressed mood and have unpleasant thoughts, then you are unhappy.
An unhappy person - who needs it?
If you ask any person if he knows at least one absolutely happy person, only one in a hundred will answer that he knows such a person. Why are there more and more unhappy people? How do they become like this? Who needs it?
An unhappy person is an individual who is dissatisfied with some area of his existence. Most people are dissatisfied in all areas of their lives except the one area where they truly excel. This could be an excellent housewife without a job, an amazing mother who raised successful children but has no friends, it could be a wonderful worker who does not know the joys of her personal life. Basically, a person succeeds in only one area of his life, but is absolutely unsuccessful in all others.
A person becomes unhappy from childhood. The costs of raising parents lead to them raising absolutely unhappy children. And this is not their fault, because they were once “crippled” in this way by their own parents. What is the lack of upbringing that makes children unhappy? The main criterion is that parents want to see their child obedient. Obedience is the first trait of an unhappy person. Why? If a person listens to others, it means that he does not have his own opinion, his own desires and ideas for planning his life. It is easy to be with an obedient person; he can be manipulated, which means that the manipulator can get all the benefits at the expense of the unhappy person.
Parents want their child to be obedient. They put him before a choice that is unspoken but obvious: “either you listen to us, or we don’t love you.” And this manifests itself in everything. The child is told not to run around, to learn his lessons, not to make noise, to be cultured, etc., sometimes arguing with the words: “I won’t be friends with you,” “I don’t like you like that,” “I don’t need you like that.” ", etc. What is more important for a child? Love and care of parents. So it turns out that from childhood a person learns to be obedient, not to pay attention to his desires, otherwise no one will love him.
An unhappy person is the most teachable individual in the world. When a person does not experience joy, he has time for something else. For example, to search for answers to his questions, to improve the qualifications of his specialty, to study everything that surrounds him. Once a desire to move arises, which is noticeable only when a person has nothing else to do, it means that he becomes the most trainable.
And finally, an unhappy person is the most ideal worker. Most employers value only those employees of their company who are willing to work tirelessly, overtime, with zeal and desire. An unhappy person has no desires, only physical needs remain, which can only be satisfied with money. Where there is money, there is fame, honor, and, perhaps, what a person lacks: love and respect. Therefore, unhappy people are typical workaholics. They work not because they are so interested that they forget about time seven days a week, but because no one is waiting for them or loving them at home.
An unhappy person is a robot of the modern world. After all, a happy person cannot be forced to do anything, he cannot be manipulated, he does not accept other views that contradict his worldview, he will not stay up late, because family and loving people are waiting for him at home. A happy person is the creator of his own happiness. He will not agree to exchange his personal time for satisfying the interests of others. And the most important thing is that a happy person already has what he needs, which means there is nothing to hook him with, which is what great manipulators use in their practice.
The habit of being unhappy
Many people are surprised by the phenomena when stressful situations come one after another, plunging them deeper into a state of unhappiness. Some seek advice, others wait out a period of failure, and still others become even more unhappy. But for some reason, a person does not think that the cause of the “black streak” may not be the external circumstances of life, but himself.
Modern people know first-hand what it is to be unhappy, to constantly experience stress, anxiety and various fears. Since this becomes more of an everyday condition, the individual sometimes forgets that being unhappy is just his habit. He can forget himself so much and act automatically that when faced with another awkward situation, he perceives it as a difficult event that causes a lot of negative feelings in him.
Being in a calm or cheerful mood, does it really become so bad when your boss is dissatisfied with your work? Is it really necessary to respond with aggression to a person who accidentally steps on your foot? Is it so illogical for a person to leave his partner for the one he loves? Often, out of habit, people perceive ordinary life situations as negative and hostile. Events themselves cannot be good or bad, but a person who is accustomed to reacting to any unforeseen situation with aggression and excitement paints it in dark colors.
The habit of being unhappy also manifests itself when a person, having experienced one stressful situation, involuntarily begins to look for other stimuli that will maintain his state of unhappiness. For example, a girl may complain two weeks after breaking up with a guy that other gentlemen do not pay attention to her. Having experienced one stressful situation - breaking up with her partner, the girl is looking for another problem that will allow her to be unhappy.
As you can see, a person is often the author of how unhappy and insecure a particular situation will make him. Having become accustomed to reacting negatively to certain external circumstances, a person does not give himself the choice to show a completely different reaction to a negative event the next time.
Well, they fired me! But now I have time to find another, more interesting job!” “Have you had a fight? Well, that means you need to think about your mistakes so that a similar situation does not happen in the future!” You should learn to have a more positive attitude towards events that cause mental discomfort. This will get rid of automatic reactions to completely neutral situations, when the last piece of sausage was taken from the counter in front of you, for example. And you will also save yourself from empty emotional disorders that only take up your time and energy, preventing you from solving problems and continuing to live happily.
Do you owe someone to be unhappy?
Do you owe someone to be unhappy? Then why are you suffering? Many moments of grief and sadness are programmed by society. You, for example, might not cry when a loved one leaves you (after all, as they say, if you love, then you want happiness; and if someone leaves, it means that he sees happiness in another place, and not next to you ). However, many films, novels and society in general are programmed to cry in such cases. Why? You don't know it, but you do it.
Do you owe someone to be unhappy? Cry when someone leaves you, suffer when you lose something valuable, humiliate yourself when you don’t like something? You don't have to do all this. Why not smile when you are given the freedom and opportunity to find another loved one with whom you will be much happier than before? Why not be happy about the opportunity to find a new job when you were laid off from your old one? Are you obliged to suffer? No. Thus, why do you waste your nerves and energy on something that is useless. It’s better to smile at the opportunities that open up.
There is no need to cry, suffer, humiliate and suffer. You don't have to. Life is given to you to enjoy your existence. Rejoice, be happy. If you find it unpleasant to be somewhere, get out of there. If you lose something, get kicked out or leave you, then rejoice: you are free, you are free to do whatever you want, you don’t have to answer to anyone, and you have been given a chance to find those people, those places and those things that will serve you. for good purposes and will not make you suffer.
You don't take care of yourself
This includes any procedure you do for yourself, from an overnight face mask to going to the dentist or going to the gym. By the way, the latter can be replaced by any sport that you can practice even at home. When you free up time for relaxation, responding to the previous advice, you will suddenly have a desire to do something for yourself.
Even reading fiction during your lunch break on a bench in front of your office building will work in a positive way, allowing your brain to rest. After all, you have changed the environment of four walls to Natasha Rostova’s first ball, filled with excitement, brilliance and the aromas of perfumed ladies.
Why are you unhappy?
Are you unhappy? Are you unhappy with your life? Does something constantly irritate you? It should be recognized that only you are to blame for the current situation. You haven't done anything to be happy. Then why blame other people for your misfortunes?
Many people think that happiness comes from outside: others can make them happy, fate itself or luck. In fact, happiness is the fruit of the actions of the person himself. No one can make you happy except yourself. This is due to the fact that only you know what makes you happy, how to achieve it and what exactly happiness should be like for everything to suit you.
You are unhappy because you don't want anything. First, to become happy, you need to have desires, goals, dreams. You must want something, strive for something, go in some direction. If you don't want anything, then where does your happiness come from? You simply go with the flow of life, which can both please and sadden you. Mostly you will pay attention to what makes you sad because there is sadness inside: you are not striving for anything, and internally it makes you sad.
Secondly, you must not only want something, but also perform certain actions that will realize your dream. Do you think that you are unhappy because other people do not want to do something for you? When you need to buy yourself beautiful clothes, do you also get offended by the thing because you don’t buy it yourself and don’t hang it in your closet? When you need to do your hair or brush your teeth, do you resent your hair or teeth for not doing the job for you that will put them in order? Then why do you think that happiness should come into your life itself, and not be created by you personally?
Only you are responsible for whether you are happy or not. If you are unhappy, then answer yourself the question: “Do I know what will make me happy? What can I do to become a happy person? You must want something, strive for something, and at the same time realize your dreams yourself, and not wait for mercy from fate or demand anything from other people. If you feel unhappy, then instead of focusing on your grief and blaming others, think about what you want. What will make you happy? What should you do to find happiness? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and blaming other people for your troubles. Become more aware of what your desires are, what you want to achieve in your life, and start taking action to make your dreams come true. Don't rely on other people because they don't have to fulfill your life goals. Realize your desires yourself, don’t waste time that you can live happily.
"Everyone lives better than me"
Comparison with others is the thief of joy. We often judge other people's lives, and this can seriously undermine our well-being. Every person is fighting his own battle, and you cannot know about all the troubles that happen in his life. Anyone can make a mistake, everyone has their flaws, failures just happen to people. You have no idea what happened to your cheerful colleague just last night.
