Most of the guys who don't have a girlfriend were very close to a new relationship. But most likely, they were prevented by a lack of perseverance or some small detail in their opinion - like the absence of a front tooth in the mouth or a diploma of higher education in the pocket.
Today we will talk about the main (and not so basic) reasons why you may have difficulties with the fair sex. After you read about all these reasons, we strongly recommend that you create a tailored plan to overcome the existing obstacles. And, of course, begin to act in accordance with the developed strategy.
Reason 7. You get lost in the crowd_7
If you constantly communicate with more popular guys, being in the shadow of their fame, don’t blame me: you’ll have to come to terms with your position as number two. If your friends are much hotter and sexier, your super-cute personality will always be perceived as much less valuable. Therefore, you should not try to score extra points at the expense of your friends. Otherwise, you will have to spend millions of years to get a girl.
And if you are far from a leading position in your group, you may even have to change your social circle. Find new friends who don't know that you've always played second fiddle. And become one of the key decision makers in your group. After all, women are always attracted to status leaders - so become one of them, and you will easily find a girlfriend.
Hiding your true intentions after making contact
Let's say you met a girl and continue to communicate. However, the fear of rejection makes many guys hide the real reason why they started dating in the first place. Young people can spend weeks with the beauty they like exclusively in a friendly manner, so as not to accidentally ruin everything.
The fact is that while you are waiting for the right moment and telling very interesting stories from your childhood, and then giving a lecture on modern cinema, your more determined rival may invite her on a romantic date. The likelihood of falling into the notorious “friend zone” increases every hour in anticipation of the “right moment,” or do you even think that the girl herself will suddenly begin to show ambiguous interest?
Don’t be tormented, and admit your sympathy if you feel that the format of your communication does not suit you . If a cold reaction follows, it will immediately become clear that time is not worth wasting.
Reason 8. You are an introvert _8
Do you sit at home for days without going anywhere beyond the grocery store? Then the question is: where are you going to look for the lady of your heart - under the sofa, behind the trash can? Or perhaps on the grocery shelf between the cans of pickled beans?
To get acquainted, you need to go out and visit crowded places and events. Where, in principle, you can meet someone. So if you suffer from excessive introversion, we recommend that you properly work on this quality - otherwise you will have to while away your life alone until you grow gray.
Don't look after yourself
You can be sure that your rich inner world will be very difficult to notice through a wrinkled shirt and dirty shoes . However, neatness should be taken for granted. Basically, every nerd can be neat and clean. If you've been rejected a couple of times, you're probably just not your chosen one's type. But when you can’t get acquainted and everyone refuses you literally right away, then you should think about what’s wrong with you and why you still don’t have a girlfriend.
Very often, men neglect to develop their own image, cannot find their own style, emphasize their own strengths and present themselves correctly:
- You can speak very beautifully, be the most attentive and courteous, but if the style of your clothing is more like a protective suit, and the last time you had your hair cut was six months ago, then the reasons are obvious.
- Don't neglect going to the gym if you know that you have a predisposition to gaining excess weight.
- Manicure for men is a completely normal occurrence, and only losers allow themselves to walk around with dirty, overgrown nails, but not the standards of masculinity, for whom a visit to a stylist is considered a sign of non-traditional sexual orientation.
Any sane girl will not only refuse to go to bed with someone who does not take care of himself, but will also not want to carry on a conversation.
Perhaps you shouldn’t be like metrosexuals and blow off specks of dust from yourself for days in order to impress a lady, but controlling your facial hair and keeping your hair clean is simply necessary.
Reason 11. You're out of shape_11
This does not mean that for the sake of a relationship you need to turn your nose into a jock. It just means it's time to get rid of the hanging fat and beer belly. And in order to pump up your muscles a little and shed those extra pounds, you will have to make an effort.
You don't have to become perfect; but it’s definitely worth adjusting your appearance a little. Because if you are in good shape, this cannot but attract girls. Remember, friend: sport truly works wonders.
Are you a homebody?
The armchair troops replenish their ranks with recruits every day. It doesn’t matter what is the reason that you may not leave your home for days on end, but you will never have a girlfriend. It might be worth visiting more often :
- bars;
- museums;
- shopping centers.
These are classic public places where a huge number of couples meet every day.
You can try going to a nightclub if you are interested in fleeting romances. In any case, even if 9 out of 10 girls refuse you, there will certainly be one who will say “yes”. Not forgetting that the level of socialization directly affects the effectiveness of communication with people.
With each failure, the probability of a subsequent one will rapidly decrease , which will certainly lead to the desired result. How quickly you achieve it depends only on your determination, but first, be sure to get out of your comfort zone.
Reason 13. You think girls don't like you_13
“I’d rather not talk to her, she doesn’t like me anyway”, “She and I are from different social strata, so we can forget about hope”, “It looks like she already has a boyfriend”... How many times have you repeated these to yourself? excuses? But you just have to step away from your usual ideas for a minute - and you will see that the real situation is completely opposite to the fables that you compose in your mind.
For example, you may find out that this or that female person is madly in love with you, while no signals from her indicate this. Moreover, this lady may think like this: since you do not take any action, then you have no interest in her. So the truth will not be known until we can talk frankly.
Or consider another situation. You see the girl you like in a bar talking to another guy. And naturally, the thought comes to your mind that she is in love with him, and your train has left. But what if this person is actually her creepy boss who she can't stand? And she was actually hoping that you would interrupt this conversation and save her from an unpleasant conversation?
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Why don't I have a girlfriend
Dating and Pickup
Why don't I have a girlfriend
If you want to know the reason why you don’t have a girlfriend, then you shouldn’t read articles written by romantic women in which they give 101 reasons: starting from your zodiac sign and ending with your fate line. In fact, everything is much simpler, but also tougher for you, my friend.
Every time you had the opportunity to get yourself a normal girl, you missed it. Perhaps you don’t yet understand the essence of relationships, or perhaps you are a narcissistic asshole, the essence does not change. You missed your girlfriend and now you're alone. Now let's talk about the reasons.
The same girl is not there
On TV we are fed nonsense and stupid stereotypes, showing guys meeting “that girl” who changes everything in their lives. And do you know what the trick is? But that same girl is not there! Until you meet a girl and feel her out, you will not be able to say: “Is she right for you or not.” A colossal amount of time is spent on all these probes, a gigantic number of girls are passed through until the right person is found. This is work! Therefore, waiting for a girl to appear who will fall from the sky and win your heart is stupid, stupid and useless!
I need a better girl
Do you know a way to stay single forever? Choose the most beautiful girl for yourself, and then moan on the windowsill that she doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. After all, she is such a bitch and does not understand your sincere and pure feelings for her, but continues to date a guy who has a Lexus, connections and a pompous grin. What a piece of trash she is!
Remember: all people choose a mate of their level and their interests. If a girl “understands” guys with opportunities and connections, then she will date such guys, and she will not need a poor romantic with a sausage for lunch. For the same reason, a normal guy won't meet a drunk girl at a trash can: that's not his level.
Therefore, put away your dreams of possessing a cool girl who is not of your level and find yourself a normal girl who will understand you, support your interests and make you happier. And together with her you will rise higher. Conquering Everest begins with the first step at the foot of the mountain!
Nevertheless. There is a whole set of tricks that can raise your level in a girl’s eyes. In other words, you will “cost” more, which means that more beautiful and spectacular girls will pay attention to you. I repeat: “More beautiful and spectacular,” since it is impossible to say “this girl is better than that one, since this one is more beautiful.” This is not the most important thing in girls, but this is for your future, my friend.
Why there is no girlfriend: laziness
Don't you want to be alone? Yes Easy. You open a regular dating site, choose a couple of girls you like, and start communicating with them. After hundreds of girls who refuse you and are rude, you will find one who will reciprocate your feelings. It's simple!
But what are you talking about, you have to find girls, write to them, listen to all their nonsense and work out different tricks and moments. It's so long and difficult. I’d rather continue to lie on the couch and “suffer” from my loneliness. Oh yes. I will write everywhere that now the girls have gone wrong and in general, they are all corrupt egoists who are only driven by money! Yes, this is much better! If you don't understand, it's sarcasm!
We have had cases where “hopeless” guys found a girl in 2-3 weeks. To do this, you only needed three things: basic dating theory, desire (you really should want to find a girl), and a willingness to spend time and energy on it. And voila, the guy and the girl are happy, and she is happy to be with him.
I don't have money for girls
Only a worthless guy will try to “buy” a girl with his money, as this is the greatest stupidity. Girls understand perfectly well that a guy must have masculinity and his own “moral strength” in order to feel protected next to him. When a guy doesn’t have this in him, he tries to compensate for it all with money. But no matter how much money you spend, you won’t become more courageous.
Therefore, girls cheat such losers out of money, occasionally stroking their egos, and they themselves date guys who can deal with them decently even without money. And this is a simple truth.
You can go on a date with a girl without a ruble in your pocket and make an amazing impression on her, or you can spend a lot of money and screw it up. Keep this in mind.
Girls don't want to talk to me
Why do you suddenly think that someone cares about your problems and experiences? Girls absolutely don’t care about you with your cockroaches in your head. If you don’t want to be alone, use your brain and do what smart guys do: start listening to the girl. Just listen to the girl, support her topics, and she herself will tell you:
- How to please her
- How to do it
- How to get her into bed
- And so on
Your job is to listen, my friend, and after everything you have heard, you will need to act. There is no place to communicate with a girl. There is a simple task and a way in which this very problem can be solved.
Don't you want to be alone? Great! Above you will find instructions on the basic theory of dating girls. Get to know her, and tomorrow you will no longer be a lonely guy.
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Reason 14. You are dressed haphazardly_14
Unfortunately for women, millions of men don't care about their appearance. But you do realize that attracting the opposite sex is the whole point of the fashion industry, right? It is the poem that women spend hours and days on makeup, hair and clothes. And they will never come to a party twice in the same dress. The reason is simple - they want to be noticeable to potential suitors.
This also applies to us. Clothes two sizes too big that you pulled out of your grandfather's trunk will always make you Mr. Invisible. Did you know that one of the first things that interested women look at is shoes? So the next time you walk down the street, pay attention to how many passing girls first looked into your eyes and then at your shoes.
Conclusions - why the guy doesn’t have a girlfriend
In order for you to have a girlfriend, clearly understand the reason for her absence. Then think about what kind of lady you would like to meet. Describe in detail her appearance, character, behavior. What form of relationship would suit you with her? It's better to write it all down on paper. Then you will be convinced of the effectiveness of this method.
Then it’s time for action. If you do nothing in this direction, then there will be no result. Do everything to have the opportunity to get acquainted. You don't need a car or money for this. It's all in your head. Moreover, this has a huge advantage. The girl you start talking to will love you not for your Mercedes, but for the fact that you are just you. Take action! Good luck!
Expecting an exclusive relationship
From childhood, every boy is taught a certain vision of the world. Observing that in fairy tales there is idyll and tenderness between lovers, and in real life even their own parents cannot always find a common language, boys begin to focus their attention on what they want. They want an exclusive relationship because it doesn't hurt, humiliate, or cause fear or stress. But often such relationships represent something that cannot exist in the real world. So it turns out that everyone dreams of good things that simply cannot happen.
The hope for an exclusive relationship is the hope for predictability. People are often afraid of the unknown. Exclusive relationships are predictable. You always know that you will feel good, they will agree with you on everything, they will love you and say kind words. And this is all predictable. It is not surprising that some people cannot stand such ideal relationships and break off their union with “good” partners!
An exclusive relationship is the exclusion of everything from the character of your partner that could bring pain. Tempers, anger, ambition, desires that conflict with your goals - all this is absent in an exclusive relationship, because otherwise it brings pain.
But a person cannot be exclusively “positive”. Everyone has something “bad”, some kind of negative side. Undoubtedly, everyone is trying to pacify their shortcomings and negative aspects, but they do not disappear from this, they simply do not appear. Moreover, a person without negative emotions and sides in his personality is not alive and perfect. He seems to half-exist, allowing himself to be only “good.” But what about your own desires, personal dissatisfaction, anger from what you heard? All this is part of any person who is simply destroyed by the idea of an exclusive relationship.
Hope for an exclusive relationship arises when a person is simply afraid to recognize his partner. Not only does the individual often not know himself, but he also needs to get to know his loved one. And this is so scary and sometimes painful, especially if it turns out to be imperfect. This is why men dream of exclusive relationships, where not only the union, but even the partners themselves are so predictable and understandable that they do not cause fear. In essence, the guy does not want to know his beloved as she is, but wants her to already be the way he wants her to be.
The worst thing that a person hoping for an exclusive relationship cannot accept is that a man and a woman do not always need each other. An exclusive relationship implies that partners will always be together in everything. But real life shows that a man and a woman can be separate. Of course, partners need to resolve family issues together. But, for example, a man and a woman can go to work, communicate with colleagues or friends alone.
This thought frightens those people who are afraid of loneliness or want to control their partners. This is why they hope to build exclusive relationships: they just want to know that their partners belong only to them. They want to be sure that they will always obey only them in everything. They are simply afraid of the unknown.
Self-doubt gets in the way
A very serious reason why you still don't have a girlfriend. Because because of this, you are dooming yourself to failure in advance by determining the negative consequences of your actions. Most often this leads to complete inaction:
- You don't ask a girl out because you're afraid of rejection.
- You don’t show her any signs of attention, fearing that she doesn’t like you.
- You don't give compliments for fear of seeming stupid.
Self-doubt and low self-esteem completely kill all attempts to find a worthy life partner, or even start a short-term relationship.
In particularly advanced cases, guys may believe that they are completely unworthy of this. Or they often lower the bar, choosing a partner with whom their self-esteem will not suffer.
Remember that being content with little or, even worse, completely giving up something because of your fear is the lot of losers . There is no need to cook a steak if you can quickly cook buckwheat, because you will be full anyway. Perhaps, but the steak will probably taste better.
Too soft
There is nothing wrong if a man enjoys a sunny day or loves to cuddle pets. The girls surveyed even agreed that they were not put off by displays of sensitivity, such as tears or sadness. But the inability to make decisions , the habit of always adapting to others and the reluctance to defend one’s point of view – this is already serious.
It is also worth considering that female nature is based on visual and auditory perception of the world. Women are embarrassed by external “softness” and the lack of visual qualities of courage - a strong-willed chin, sharp cheekbones, broad shoulders, tall stature.
There is no guy I love at 19-20 years old, what’s wrong with me?
When a girl wonders what's wrong with me, there really is a problem. Here you need to consult a psychologist, he will help you understand yourself.
But, as a rule, the only reason (which is identified by all experts) why there is no young man at the age of 19–20 years is the girl’s inflated demands on her chosen one.
Here a complex of Cinderella may appear, which, in fact, is nothing, but is waiting for the prince. And he refuses relationships to good, but ordinary guys, not astronauts, not football players and not world-famous actors.
A young woman looking for a guy from 19 to 20 years old should reconsider her attitude towards the opposite sex, understand that there is no ideal and highlight important and secondary masculine qualities. To do this, you need two pieces of paper, a pen or marker. Then write “yes” on one piece of paper and “no” on the other. And they record what can be accepted in a man and what cannot. If there are more “no”, then a thorough analysis of why this is so is necessary. For example, if a girl does not agree to put up with her lover’s betrayal or drug addiction, then this is normal, but if she is annoyed by the presence of brothers or blue eyes, then here you need to understand one thing - little things in appearance and lifestyle are not so important. By narrowing the scope of her search for a guy, the girl herself scares away potential suitors.
Hope for the future
One of the reasons a guy stays single is hope for the future. Everything must somehow happen by itself, happen, change. The guy does nothing, but only dreams and hopes that circumstances and stars will align themselves in such a way that a girl will appear and everything will work out wonderfully with her.
However, things never work out for these guys. They usually remain single for several years, and when girls appear, they do not stand out in anything remarkable. The girls of these guys are ordinary, typical, inconspicuous, boring, etc.
If a guy doesn't do anything for his future, then he gets nothing. You can forget about beautiful and sexy girls.
Shyness and withdrawal
Such a trait as modesty truly adorns any girl. But sometimes, over time, such a quality can develop into isolation.
Overly modest and shy representatives of the fair sex are usually prone to self-examination and, as a rule, blame themselves for the lack of relationships. At the same time, they often do not even pay attention to the fact that there may be young men nearby who sincerely show sympathy for them.
All this happens solely because it is very difficult for closed people to start communicating and find a common language with others, just as it is difficult for others to establish contact with them.
And, since closed ladies are not eager to open their souls and share their feelings, this leads to misunderstanding by men, and, consequently, alienation and even greater self-doubt among the fair sex.
What to do in this situation?
Girls who are typically reserved and shy need to strive to become more open and sociable. Of course, this does not mean that you should start telling everyone about your secrets and secrets. You just need to learn to discuss interesting facts from your life with other people, talk about hobbies and share your thoughts without fear.
This will remove the psychological barrier that prevents healthy communication. And young people will have a chance not only to appreciate the appearance of a modest young lady, but also to consider her soul.
You become fixated on one thing, seeing its indifference
Perhaps suffering from unrequited love looks noble and is described beautifully in books, but in real life such behavior is unlikely to attract approval from the outside. The habit of giving yourself in advance to someone who doesn’t need you at all will take a ton of time, money and nerves from you. If you feel that there is some imbalance of importance in your relationship with a girl, you should not get hung up on her. Leave phrases like: “I can’t live without her”, “I only need her” and others to teenagers.
A grown man is self-sufficient, has self-respect and will not behave like a doormat. In a situation where you see the obvious futility of developing a relationship with one lady, try to transfer your attention to another, don’t do anything stupid and behave with dignity.
It is better to strive to simultaneously maintain contact with several girls at once. At the very least, it will improve your self-esteem. As a maximum, you will always have an alternate airfield.
Idealization of men
As we noted earlier, every girl has an imaginary ideal of a man, and quite often, no matter how banal it may sound, it is a “prince on a white horse.” However, in reality, such guys do not exist or there are very few of them. As a result, there are often cases when a smart, beautiful, energetic girl with a wonderful sense of humor does not have a man.
How to stop looking for the ideal?
The way out of this situation may be as follows - the young lady must understand and accept that completely perfect people do not exist, and the “prince” in a man does not awaken immediately, but only when a young lady who loves and appreciates him appears nearby.
This means that it would be wiser to stop looking for an ideal and pay attention to “mere mortals”. Perhaps the very “prince” is hiding among them, all the best qualities of whom can only be seen by talking with him alone.
If the guy is 13, 14 or already 15 years old, but there is no girlfriend
Precedents may arise due to the individual nature of the individual. But their appearance can also be dictated by outside influence, from the society in which the young man is located.
The reasons may be the following
- Interests have not yet matured
By nature, perhaps you are not yet mature for a serious relationship. Therefore, you don’t need a friend for long meetings yet. Yes, you can feel it yourself. Therefore, you should not focus on other guys.
- Inferiority complexes
This is typical for an age when a person is going through the period of his formation in society. You just need to learn to be confident in yourself and not leave this distance.
- Life in a fantasy world
It is important to take into account all the realities of life, meet girls, take their phone numbers, communicate. Just fantasizing is not yet achieving the goal.
- Timidity, shyness, inexperience
All this will gradually be eliminated, with time and experience communicating with friends and girls.
- Flaws in appearance
Hormonal surges at this age can often spoil your appearance a little. This could be acne, rapid weight gain, sharpening of facial features, and more. But you need to understand that this is all just as quickly and will go away as the body develops.
The age between 14 and 15 years is called puberty. At this time, there is often an imbalance in the hormonal background, which greatly affects mood. During periods of frequent mood swings, you should not make serious conclusions about yourself or others.
Narcissism as one of the factors
Probably the worst of this list of reasons.
If a person is narcissistic, then even in sweet dreams before going to bed, allowing any kind of relationship with him is not the best choice. Narcissistic guys don't need girls' love. They themselves do an excellent job of loving themselves, the beautiful ones. And the saying goes, if you want it done well, do it yourself. So he tries, poor fellow, every day. Read more: How to find out if a man loves you Such young people daily upload many photographs of themselves to social networks, in which they pose as advantageously as possible. They have many fans, but they will not date anyone. After all, why do they need one girl if they have many of them.
Also, “narcissists” not only never take the first steps, but also reject the attempts of all representatives of the fair sex, considering them not good enough for themselves. It is impossible to change such people. Because it’s simply not possible to reach their heart through a camera lens. The glass of egoism inside her is too thick.
I would like to wish patience to all the girls who are in love with such guys, because this chapter of their life will be difficult to survive. After all, the experience of love relationships with such young people is unlikely.
They will remain inaccessible and distant like the Moon to the Earth.
