How to start a relationship with a girl: tips and examples

Men are representatives of the strong half of humanity, this is known to every conscious citizen of society. Men are distinguished by their flexible mind, tenacious intelligence, sharpness of character, strength and courage, bravery and courageous disposition. Probably, it is precisely for this entire set of positive qualities that women love them, despite the negative aspects and nuances of male nature. But these strong-willed and brave people also have their own fears. And sometimes these fears are somehow childishly absurd. For example, many men are afraid of relationships with women. They are afraid to approach, get acquainted, confess their feelings. How to start a relationship with a girl? How to find the right approach to it?

Why are men afraid of relationships?

In the life of probably every young man there was a situation in which he thought about how to properly start a relationship with a girl. For some reason, it is sometimes very difficult for representatives of the stronger half to admit their feelings to the opposite sex. This is how men’s logic works – they are insanely afraid of failure. For them, refusal from a lady is associated with incredible humiliation. They think that being rejected is very shameful, although in fact there is nothing fatal about it. In life, this happens quite often: we love those who do not love us, and destroy those who love us. The feelings are not always mutual.

But when you like a girl, how to start a relationship with her? How can I make her want this relationship too? Young people spend more time in their doubts and worries than in trying to be close to the woman they love. And all because of the unjustified fear of being defeated in this battle of the sexes.

Common mistakes7

The most insightful people are able to notice that a relationship is heading towards a bad ending and make independent attempts to correct the situation. And if in a couple both people are attentive to each other, it will pay dividends.

It is with the best intentions that people make many mistakes that adversely affect marriages and unions:

Attempts to limit the freedom of a loved one will never lead to positive results. Yes, I don’t want to share my loved one with anyone. But it is total control that forces people to “break free” through rupture.
Excessive jealousy. We like it when we are jealous, especially if the jealousy comes from a person we like. But there is a limit to everything. This feeling (sense of ownership) can make a guy or girl really paranoid, and it certainly won’t protect you from infidelity.
Attention - this applies to both women and men. The longer people are in a union, the less attention they show to their other halves.

If you give your close partner freedom in time, begin to forgive minor offenses and regularly try to please your significant other, then this practice can return the relationship to a happy direction. This implies an option in which a lady (young man) notices favorable changes in her chosen one. And an intelligent and loving person tries to reciprocate his partner’s concessions.

Letting go of the past

Before starting a relationship with a girl as a potential darling, a guy must understand himself and his feelings. It is very important not to try to seek solace in the arms of a new passion immediately after breaking up with your previous love. Basically, such throwing from one skirt to another does not end with a successfully built alliance with a new young lady. But if the feelings have not yet faded, and the breakup has already occurred, how to start a relationship with a girl again? Is it possible to return to the old connection? And if so, how to start a relationship with your ex-girlfriend? It is necessary to complete the so-called minimum rehabilitation program by going through a few simple steps:

decide for yourself whether the game is worth the candle and whether the youngest person needs it;
find out whether the ex-girlfriend needs a renewed relationship;
organize a meeting with her in an informal, calm atmosphere for a conversation;
take a new relationship to the next level with attempts to become better for your beloved woman.

Don't bend.

This mistake can be made even unconsciously. This happens when you really want to please your girlfriend with something, even to the detriment of yourself.

“She likes melodramas, and I like action films. Well, it’s okay, let’s go to “Blown By the Wind and Sobs”, and not to “Peanuts Strong”... And it’s okay that it’s 48 times, because the main thing is that she smiles.”

There's nothing wrong with giving in to the same movie choice a couple of times. But doing this all the time is a bad idea. Ignoring one's own interests and personality only leads to new problems in relationships.

Ties suit you very well, start wearing them.
Okay (I hate ties, but ok, she'll be so happy).
Shave your beard. You walk like a homeless person. And it’s impossible to kiss - it hurts.
Okay (heh, just six months of beard care).
I don't like your friends. They're always drinking and making dirty jokes. I have already made an appointment for you with Olya Tolik. Good guy. Go.
Yes, he’s good, I’ll go (boring, whining, and Olka natters about everything).
You know... You've changed so much. I loved you before. I can’t do this anymore, that’s it, I’m leaving.
(…)

How to make sure you make the right choice?

If the past is over and there is no point in returning to the past, and a new object of sympathy has already appeared on the horizon, then it is necessary to act. But before that, you should take a closer look at your chosen one. Before offering a lady his heart, a young man needs to find out for himself whether he is able to accept her with all her nuances and additions. Let’s say if the chosen beauty is not alone, but with a small gift in the form of a son or a cute daughter, what should we do?

If a girl has a child, is it worth starting a relationship? After all, many men do not want to raise other people’s children, and this becomes a serious obstacle to creating a new happy family, even if the young man is very sympathetic to the baby’s mother. It could also be another nuance in the girl’s past or present, or maybe some kind of habit that the guy doesn’t like at all. That is why it is quite important to make sure that your choice is correct before confessing your feelings to a lady.

If a girl has a child, is it worth starting a relationship and even trying to somehow attract her to you? After all, she may agree to an alliance, and after the guy gets to know her better and does not come to terms with some of her shortcomings, this can deeply hurt her. This cannot be done - it is, at the very least, inhumane and inhumane.

Let's go on the offensive

Euphoria after a successful acquaintance usually does not last long, since it is not clear what to do next. You talk to a girl, discuss cats and world politics, but this is not exactly what you wanted. More precisely, not at all.

Don't panic as long as everything goes according to plan. Gradual rapprochement is the most effective tactic in your case. Let the girl take a closer look at you, get used to it, and gain trust. But don’t get stuck at this stage for long, otherwise you risk never getting out of the friend zone.

If you met on the Internet, take the conversation offline, otherwise, with endless correspondence, you won’t notice how you’re congratulating her on the New Year for the second time.

How to “test the waters” regarding a girl’s preferences?

Any more or less experienced young man understands that in order to please a beautiful person, you need to be prepared. How to start a relationship with a girl easily and successfully? You just need to find out about her preferences, what she loves, what she is interested in, what she admires - and it’s half done. Nowadays it’s quite easy to find out about a lady dear to your heart, because almost all the information you need to make a hit can be found on the Internet - the world of social networks opens up wide opportunities for young people to get to know their beloved even before meeting her directly or having specific communication.

After learning about her preferences in music, you can invite her to a concert of your favorite artist or group. Having found out the direction of her hobbies, take her to the theater or cinema. After scrolling through the posts or videos that interest her, analyze her character and worldview. Internet communications put all the cards in the hands of a young person - it’s called “take and use.”

How to survive refusal to start a relationship?

Love is one of the important and most painful areas of life. You can also suffer failures in business or at work, but they do not affect the emotions and soul as much as the love sphere of life. Entering the path of love, a person becomes an object for certain defeats.

One of the failures on the path of love is the refusal to create a relationship. You liked a girl, talked, realized that you want to have a love union with her, make an offer and... get a refusal. It no longer matters why you were rejected. Some guys find these reasons painful to hear because understanding them won't change the situation. They refused, there will be no relationship - what is there to talk about? Here the thought arises of only one thing: how to survive the failure and refusal of the partner you like?

The thing to remember is that you are fine. Sometimes people explain the reason for refusal by the lack of interesting qualities and traits in them. The one who is rejected feels worthless, imperfect, bad. This is all nonsense. People vary, and so do their preferences for their partners. Just because you got rejected doesn't mean you're bad at anything. It's just that a girl is looking for a partner who is different from you. You do not correspond to the image that she has drawn for herself in her head and sees as a loved one.

Realize that you continue to be good. If you don't fit one, you'll fit another. Just find a partner whose image of your loved one you resemble. Then you will definitely not be rejected.

How to survive rejection? Accept the fact that all people have different images of the partners they want to be around. You will suit some people, but not others. This doesn't make you a bad candidate. You just need to find a girl who imagines and dreams about you.

How to start a conversation?

It's easy to communicate with a girl you like whom you've known for a long time. How to start a relationship with a mysterious stranger? Initially, the first impression decides everything. The way a guy shows himself in the first conversation plays a huge role in the further process of communication between young people. Communication will either continue successfully or end before it even begins. Therefore, before you speak to a lady, you need to think through your speech. Again, you need to pay attention to what she is interested in at the moment: if she is reading a book, you need to understand that, most likely, the lady is well-read, and the conversation can take the right direction if it concerns books. If a girl carefully examines the Swan Lake poster, perhaps it would be appropriate to approach and ask how long she has been to the ballet and whether she would like to go one of these days. Well, and further in the same spirit.

Signs of a girl's readiness

When a girl reciprocates, it is impossible not to understand and not notice even an inexperienced young man. Her behavior and outlook on life change, and additional interaction mechanisms appear. It is advisable to study these techniques in advance in order to understand what is really happening.

If a girl likes a guy and is going to build a tender relationship with him, then her behavior will change. There will be tenderness in the gaze, responsiveness, kindness, understanding, reciprocal care, and constant flirting. Your appearance changes: manicure, new hairstyle, stunning outfits. The fairer sex wants to attract attention, look elegant and unique. Girls are starting to take better care of themselves and conduct beauty experiments.

How to interest a girl?

But often the problem is that in the first conversation the young man fails to interest his interlocutor, and she quickly moves away from him. The art of a quality approach to girls lies in the correct construction of dialogue. Today's contemporaries really don't like hackneyed phrases. This actually acts on them as a direct irritant. Therefore, it is better to immediately get rid of phrases like “Does your mother need a son-in-law?” or something like “Ks-ks-ks, what a kitty!” Believe me, this is a failure.

The first rule in trying to interest a girl is humor. A well-made joke will make a girl smile. The second rule is intelligence. Quickly respond to her reaction and turn the flow of the conversation in such a way that it is exciting for her to continue the conversation - this is the only right decision in trying to win the heart of a stranger.

Fear of first sex

Any guy, even a crazy heartthrob, may have a fear of failure in sex with a girl he really likes. What to do in this case? There is no universal way to get rid of uncertainty, but standard methods of solving the problem may suit you.

For example, alcohol - you just need to use it to loosen up, and not to get drunk. The dose should be minimal - no more than a glass of wine or champagne. You can pour the rest to the girl you are going to have sex with.

A girl who is a little drunk takes more initiative and does not notice your stiffness. The second option for quick liberation: get adrenaline. It’s good if your date in bed takes place immediately after you get a rush of adrenaline into your blood.

A date on the roof, go-karting, even just driving a car very fast will make you more confident and the fear of intimacy will subside for a while. You can at least invite the girl to watch a horror movie with you: fear also makes us more liberated, and joint fear also brings us closer together.

How to invite a girl on a date?

But it also happens that not only with a stranger it is difficult to find a loophole in the first dialogue. How to start a relationship with a girl if you already know each other? How to unobtrusively invite her on a date without scaring her off? To avoid looking stupid? To avoid being ridiculed? Here, too, a preliminary “testing of the soil” is necessary. If this is a colleague from work or a girl from the next door, you need to watch her, her gaze, whether it is directed at the guy with the same interest with which he looks at her, whether she often talks to him at work and whether she is distracted during work hours. these conversations about the “weather” and other little things. Sometimes this serves as a direct signal to act, or, conversely, not even try to “rock the boat” in that direction. Often women behave deceptively, deliberately “not paying attention” to the object of their affection, but this veiled interest can still be detected. And in this case, the main thing is observation.

Advice from psychologists for men on behavior at the beginning of a relationship

How to behave correctly at the beginning of a relationship? This question also torments the stronger half. There are five indicators that women pay attention to when choosing a partner.

Appearance. The fact that a woman loves with her ears is only partly true. Every lady wants to see next to her a well-groomed companion in good physical shape, neatly dressed and without mourning tape under his nails.
Intelligence. To confirm mental abilities, it is not necessary to have a couple of higher educations. But being able to speak not only using interjections, clearly expressing your point of view, and simply being able to maintain a conversation on various topics is important for the vast majority of women.
Upbringing. Although we live in an era of feminism, any girl will be pleased if her boyfriend opens the door for her or gives her his hand when getting out of the car. This is not just gallantry, this is elementary education, once again emphasizing the intelligence of a man.
Character traits. The main character traits that give a woman a feeling of confidence in her partner are determination, the ability to show care, kindness, honesty, the ability to set and achieve goals, and to be a leader.
Feeling of reliability. It is important for women to feel like they are behind a stone wall with a man and look into the future with confidence. If a partner does not have goals, does not consider it necessary to share everyday difficulties with his chosen one, or is ready to live at the expense of his beloved, then most likely the woman will not be interested in him.

How to behave on a date?

If you still managed to invite a lady dear to your heart to a meeting, you need to approach the date itself no less seriously. Often, a fashionable restaurant, with its exorbitant prices for the food offered, does not allow a young man with an average income to invite a girl there. Moreover, such a date is too ordinary. You need to come up with something interesting, improvise, act sparklingly. Visit an amusement park, for example, with its distorting mirrors and breathtaking swings, or spend time in a more relaxed environment with a trip to the local pond with kayaks - a boat ride with oars on the water will not leave any romantic girl indifferent.

During a date, it is important not to remain silent and avoid awkward pauses. If one arises and the young man does not know where to start, he should try to talk about himself, interrupting the story with questions about her life events at the same age. Women love when people are interested in them. Common interests always bring people together - you just need to find this connecting thread, and you're done.

Don't forget about everything else.

More often, this behavior is typical for the first months of a relationship. When you want to be next to her all the time, and all the men around her are perceived as a potential threat or as future victims. Absolutely everyone - even Arkady Fedorovich, the 73-year-old dean of her faculty.

During this period, friends and relatives suddenly find themselves in the background. Problems may arise at work or at school because your thoughts are always somewhere else. Some hobbies are abandoned, giving way to a new hobby.

Such situations are strange in themselves. But it can be even worse . When she suddenly says something like:

“The question is blunt: either me or your friends!”
“Choose: either you stop going to your stupid football game, or I leave.”
“If you don’t go to samba classes with me, I won’t go to the bedroom with you!”

When someone suddenly begins to demand that you make a choice between yourself and another important part of life, this is a dead end. Requirements will increase over time. As a result, the manipulator will take away everything dear to you, impose ideas and interests, thereby forcing you to live someone else’s life. If at the same time the person refuses to compromise or resolve the dispute peacefully, then the question arises - is there any point in being with her at all?

Take a self-confidence test

How to ask a girl to date?

And yet, how to start a relationship with a girl? How to confess to her your feelings and long-standing sympathy? And if you like a girl who is older, how to start a relationship with her? After all, often older girls are more experienced, wiser, more serious - it is not so easy to approach them, because they are not as naive as younger girls. But any representative of the fair half, deep down, is a lover of romance.

All girls love flowers. All girls love courtship. All girls love well-mannered and decent men. Follow the rules of etiquette, be gallant, and be courteous - these are the components of creating a good impression on a girl about a young man. And at the crucial moment of his confession of his feelings to her, these components will play a fairly significant role, because hardly anyone would dare refuse such a positive man.

What to do in case of failure

Unfortunately, no one is immune from failure. The girl may not like you even after all your efforts. She may be in love with someone else, or you just aren't her type, it doesn't matter. You have only one choice - to fall behind.

The sooner you do this, the better impression you will leave. And if you stay nearby, like a faithful page, and shower the beauty with gifts in an attempt to take this fortress by siege, you will soon become completely disgusted with her.

Just before you retreat, ask yourself whether you really clearly expressed your intentions and did everything from the previous points. This is necessary in order not to be tormented by doubts like “what if she didn’t understand?”

How not to lose face in the dirt?

But how to behave without ruining everything? How to start a relationship with a girl if you are friends? After all, this is a fairly common problem of our time - the friend zone and its boundaries. Offering your heart to your beloved and friend in one person and at the same time not losing her, not losing face in the dirt - this is also a rather difficult test. And here it is really important to conduct a couple of experiments or tests in advance in the form of specifically posed questions in order to check - does the girl feel the same way about the young man? If everything points to her reciprocal sympathy and desire to continue closer communication, then it’s worth taking a risk. If, with every fiber of her soul, a girl shows the exclusively friendly nature of her contact with a young man, then it is better to refrain from confessing if friendship with this girl is valuable.

Appearance5

If one partner begins to reproach the other for defects in his appearance, it looks “slightly awkward.” How to perceive such a person if six months ago he looked into her eyes and said words of love, and that she was the most beautiful in the world, and now suddenly declares that he is not satisfied with her appearance? After all, when a young man makes an offer to start a relationship, he must understand that this girl will not become a Hollywood actress if she agrees to date.

Another thing is when a man or girl has changed over time. For example, a lady started dating a handsome guy, who after a few months turned from an unkempt and bearded man with one big six-pack abs. Then you should gently hint at this shortcoming and offer a suitable solution to the problem; perhaps the girl herself has gained a fair amount during this time, and jogging together will benefit both.

What should you not do when communicating with a girl?

And finally, there is a list of certain taboos in terms of communicating with a girl if you want to start a relationship with her:

to be assertive - one should not confuse some persistence with boringness that is very unpleasant for a lady;
pursue a woman you like - ladies do not like excessive attention, sometimes they should have time for personal space, and it cannot be taken away from them;
beg for a relationship - if a girl said “no,” this means that she is not ready to build love with a young man, and there is no need to constantly ask her questions “why?” or repeat “let’s try anyway!” - this may push her away even further;
taking revenge for refusal is truly the lowest act that a man can commit towards a girl who has refused him love; you need to be able to accept refusal, and insulting or ridiculing her in return is not like a man.

How to set your intentions

This is the most important and responsible point. To prevent your meetings with a girl from turning into endless friendly get-togethers, let her know that you expect more. Let's figure out how.

Nonverbal cues

It is best to demonstrate your sympathy using nonverbals: gaze, voice, gestures, light touches. If you are lost, watch how the heroes of romance films do it and learn from them. You can even practice in front of a mirror.

Monitor the girl's reaction to your signals, learn to see feedback. Try to take her hand, put your arm around her waist. If she doesn't pull away immediately, it means she enjoys your touch.

First kiss

When can you kiss a girl? There is no universal rule for everyone, look at the circumstances. If she has given the go-ahead for touching and hugging, then you can try your luck on the first date. If your attempt is unsuccessful, it’s okay. Your lady may not be ready for such a sharp rapprochement, try it next time.

But in the case of the third or fourth refusal, you should be wary, especially when you have already spent money on general leisure. Feel free to ask what caused the refusal. If the answer is unclear, tell the girl: “It’s a pity. So you didn’t like me” and leave. Rest assured, she will find a way to convince you if you are wrong. And if you’re right, well, at least you’ll save your nerves and money.

Material investments

This is a rather slippery topic. No guy wants to be used. It can be difficult to determine where this fine line lies between adequate and unjustified investments. Let's figure it out.

It just so happens in our society that in cafes, restaurants, and cinemas, a man pays for a girl. A lady will be happy to pay for herself on dates in the only case - when she likes you much more than you like her. But this is not our case; we still proceed from the assumption that initially the sympathy and initiative were yours.

If you really like a girl, you should pay for her leisure time on the first dates. At the same time, it must be within your means - do not try to show off.

Now about the gifts. While you are not yet a couple, they should be purely symbolic and not expensive. A bouquet of flowers, a teddy bear, some useful little thing. Remember - your goal is not to buy the favor of your passion, but to show sympathy and attention.

If after three or four dates the girl has not made a single step towards you, close up shop. A step can be considered an initiative to communicate, a kiss, closer physical contact.

What is the “bright future”?

Women have a bad habit. Thinking too much about the impossible. You lost your head at first sight and are already thinking about packing your bags and rushing to the ends of the world for him because you love him?

Slow down!

There is no need to confuse infatuation and love. These are completely different feelings in depth and meaning, and their manifestations are completely different.

Falling in love is wonderful! But we must remember that at the start of any relationship, partners are attracted by qualities that they themselves consider positive. Who also love in themselves.

From here arises the deepest sympathy, seasoned with an emotional outburst. When the passions subside, both begin to notice something different.

To be in a relationship to love and be loved, you don’t have to lose your head, give up your studies, hobbies, forget about friends and life plans.

Look at things more simply. A man should not be the center of your universe. Its center is you and only. And it's not about selfishness. It's about love and self-respect.

Meet, observe, choose, feel, love... With love like with sweets - you need to control the dose so as not to catch diabetes.

You can refuse

It is nonsense. Moreover, it is directly proportional to age. If you are 15, you can still doubt and worry, at this age it is allowed. But if you, for example, are 32 and you still haven’t learned to refuse people.

Or worse, you worry about others all the time and never focus on your “wants or don’ts.”

Finally, understand: even if you have a fan, even if he likes you and he has told you about it more than once, you are not obligated to date him.

Just like agreeing: “because it’s necessary,” “it’s time,” “it’s indecent to be alone.”

This doesn't mean don't go on dates.

You can spend time with him to understand for yourself whether you are interested or attracted to him as a man. If anything, unsuccessful dates are a great way to understand what kind of man you definitely don’t want in your life.

But rushing into a relationship simply because someone beckoned you with their finger is definitely not worth it. It ends in hurt, disappointment and heartache.

How to understand “to be or not to be”? Listen to yourself, listen to both your heart and your head! I know it's damn hard, but I'm sure you can do it! Self-confidence is the foundation of trust in the world and men.

This does not mean that you need to trust everyone you meet, but there is no place in life for the “all men are assholes” attitude.

You are the author of your life. There is no need to allow every man you meet to rewrite it for themselves. Even if you like him madly.

Develop, work on yourself and slowly choose a worthy man for a happy relationship, if this is your goal.

How to understand whether the man in front of you is worthy, how to attract his attention and many other interesting nuances of communication between a man and a woman, I tell you in my free online course “Man: Honest Instructions”.

Say goodbye to past relationships

You need to enter into a new relationship when you are no longer grieving or remembering the past. You need to choose the same girl as your partner. She should not grieve and be nostalgic for her ex-boyfriends, otherwise this will indicate that she is not building a relationship with you, but is simply getting rid of loneliness until her ex wants to return to her again.

It is impossible to build a new house without destroying the old one to the foundation. Therefore, in everything that concerns your relationship, start by completely getting rid of everything that you no longer need.

Many people cannot start living a new life because they continue to carry things from the old into it. They feel sorry for throwing away what they once liked, parting with people who were once friends, leaving a job they once liked. But you should answer yourself one question: do you need this in your new life? If, when imagining yourself living a new life, you do not see your current job, some of your current friends, your former loved one or some things, then get rid of it without regret. It is impossible to start living differently until you give up what does not fit into it. If you don't need something, get rid of it. Make room for new things that you want to have.

Remember what children do when they realize that they have become a little more mature and have outgrown the toys they once played with. They refuse them, no matter how dear they are to them. Even new things become unnecessary for them if they understand that they have already outgrown them and want to play, wear, and surround themselves only with what is relevant for their age.

Why don't you do the same? Life goes on, and every day can be the starting point when you throw out everything from your life that will not be present in the new life you want to live. It is clear that you feel sorry for throwing away some things, stopping communicating with some people, giving up what was once interesting. But if none of this fits into the life you want to live, then you need to give it up.

While you keep the old and unnecessary, you continue to live in a way that is no longer interesting and fun for you. But when you finally decide to give up unnecessary things, junk, people, places that do not fit into the picture of your new life, where you will be happy and content, then you will speed up the process of realizing your desire. Allow yourself to live the way you want.

To build new relationships, you need to get rid of memories and nostalgia for past connections. This applies to both guys and girls.