How to get out of the friend zone for a guy or girl

The friend zone is a type of relationship between a guy and a girl in which one person experiences loving feelings, and the other takes advantage of this or simply pretends not to notice and is “friends.” How to get out of the friend zone? And is it possible for a man or a woman to get out of it?

Maybe. But first of all, we need to assess the scale of the “catastrophe.” If you have become best friends not only with the object of your sympathy, but also with his friends or relatives, then it is easier to abandon this idea and concentrate your energy on building other relationships. If you still haven’t received a definite answer, and the object of your sympathy is free, then you can try to do something.

Is it possible to get out of the friend zone?

Is it possible to get out of the friend zone? Yes, but not always and not all people succeed. It all depends on the actions of the one who finds himself in the friend zone.

Here's what you need to do before you start leaving the friend zone:

Recognize the problem. Many people deny that they have been added as a friend. Or they deny the fact that they are not satisfied with this state of affairs. And almost everyone is sure that the matter is not in them, but in some case, fate, evil fate. Admit it to yourself: “I’m in the friend zone, but I don’t like it. I ended up here and stayed because of my mistakes.”
Determine if you are right for her/him. Most people choose people of the same type (similar in appearance and (or) content) as partners. Determine if you are similar to this type. If not, then there is nothing to catch - you need to part ways. If they are not similar in something that can be changed, then decide for yourself whether you need it.
Confess your feelings. If you haven’t yet admitted your feelings and asked the question bluntly, then do it. Confess your love and ask if further developments are possible. If a guy or girl doesn’t see you as a potential partner, then you shouldn’t get out of the friend zone - you need to leave the relationship completely.

Before we talk about how to get out of the friend zone, let’s look at something else: is it worth getting out of it?

Interesting! One of the signs of a friend zone for a guy or girl via correspondence is a “heart” emoticon in any color except red. The remaining signs are not much different from those in life: maximum revelations in communication and minimum physical intimacy.

How to get caught 3

Most often, people who end up in the friend zone are those who understand that they do not have reciprocal feelings for them, but they warm themselves with the hope that their chosen one has just a little time left to see how wonderful, kind and sympathetic he is. He tries with all his might to be good and runs at the first call to the object of his dreams. Such people are stupidly taken advantage of. It's comfortable. They will never be appreciated.

Women choose men according to three main criteria:

Reliability,
Force,
Courage.

If a man wants to show how kind, caring, attentive and charming he is, he finds himself in the exclusion zone. When choosing a mate, women associate these qualities with defenselessness and willingness to submit. And she must obey, she is a woman. This choice is made more at the subconscious level. Because women always include “kind” and “charming” in their list of ideal men.

What is the friend zone for girls, read in our article further on the link.

Is it worth leaving the friend zone?

Not in all cases it is worth leaving the friend zone. We have already mentioned something in the previous paragraph. There's one more thing left.

Find out how the object of your feelings really feels about you. Perhaps you grew up together and are perceived solely as a sister or brother. Or you are not sexually attractive. By the way, when people meet, they understand in the first seconds whether they can have sex with each other or not. If you are seen as a relative or an asexual being, then you will not be able to leave the “spare” zone.

Important! In some cases, you can try to change your role in a person's life. For example, if you act like a mom/dad/advisor to a person, then give up that role and do everything to be seen as an attractive member of the opposite sex.

What to do if you find yourself in the friend zone

If you realize that you have already fallen into the friend zone, then there is only one way out.

Get out of it and stop being a “friend”. No matter what the girl tells you, for example: “You know that I love you in my own way,” or “I can’t live without you,” “I need you very much,” you should not return.

At first it will be painful, offensive and even sorry for yourself. However, if you do not throw off these shackles in time, you will never be able to respect yourself.

You can only succeed with this girl if a lot of time passes. She will be able to understand that you truly were the best and will want to be in a relationship with you. And you will learn to be an Alpha. Only then will you be able to create a strong and happy relationship.

Staying out of the friend zone is much easier than getting out of it.

How to get out of the friend zone

So, how can a girl or guy get out of the friend zone:

Take a break. Don't be intrusive, don't call or write, don't run at the first call. This action has two meanings. Firstly, if a person is truly interested in you, then he will remember you, take the initiative himself, and become bored and worried. If you are not interesting or are simply being used, then they will not even notice that you are missing or, after receiving the first refusal, they will find a replacement.
Become interesting. It doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman – become a mystery to the object of your affection. Take up a new hobby, but don't tell your “friend” about it. Let him find out from third parties. This will make him pay attention to you, think that there is something else about you that he does not know.
Compare yourself in friendship and in relationships. It happens that a person attracts us as a person, a friend, but we cannot imagine how we can be in a close relationship with him. Perhaps this is your case. Maybe you've earned a bad reputation in love affairs. Then you need to work on your character and prove that you really can change, that you have already changed.
Distance yourself in communication. If you constantly shower compliments, declare your love, etc., then it’s time to become more restrained. And even if you see the first fruits of this, for example, the object of your feelings begins to shower you with compliments, then still control yourself. Broadcast the following thought: “What are you talking about, we’re just friends.”
Be independent. Chat and date other members of the opposite sex.

Note! Before you disappear from the life of the person with whom you dreamed of establishing a closer relationship, find out what specific benefits you give him. Deprive him of just that.

Why do guys end up in the friend zone so often?

Every person, regardless of gender, needs to know how to avoid being friend-zoned.

Guys usually don't like to be friends with girls, so the weaker sex rarely ends up in the friend zone, although there are cases.

However, whoever receives the status of “friend” does not always understand that the chance for mutual love and relationships has already been missed. Therefore, you need to take a timely look at your communication with the girl from the outside. Friends who see the true picture often help with this.

So if your friends say you're in the friend zone, most often you are.

We’ll tell you how to avoid getting into the friend zone right now.

My tips and recommendations

When thinking about how to get out of the friend zone, take into account not only your own characteristics, but also the characteristics of your potential soul mate. There is no single recipe; you need to select unique tactics and strategies. For inspiration, you can turn to thematic films. Here is a list of inspiring paintings in which the characters managed to leave the friendship zone:

“The Simpleton”, 2015;
“Friendship and no sex?”, 2013;
“Just Friends”, 2005;
"When Harry Met Sally", 1989;
“Love, Rosie”, 2014;
"Pretend to be my wife", 2011.

What else can I recommend? Reduce contact with pickup masters and trainers of courses “on discovering a male/cat/goddess/someone else.” You shouldn’t reshape yourself for someone, and making someone love you is completely impossible. The best option is to be yourself. In fact, love is a very subtle symbiosis of passion, friendship and family warmth (care, respect, support, etc.). For love there must be a pull of bodies, minds and souls. Only the presence of all three components provides the basis for a full-fledged, long-term relationship.

So, the best option to get out of the friend zone is to talk openly about everything. Decide if there are three tractions between you. If not, then there is nothing to talk about. If there is, then why waste time, isn’t it time to admit it?

It is important to properly build a dialogue, choose a cozy place and a convenient time, and not rush. In addition, it is important to choose a moment when both of you will be in a good mood and will not be “loaded” with problems. What phrase should be the key phrase? For example, this one: “We know so much about each other, we understand each other so much, and we are not outwardly disgusted with each other, isn’t this the main thing in a relationship?”

The same method is suitable for those who are tormented by the question: “How can a guy get out of the friend zone after a breakup?” It happens that a man and a woman build a personal life separately from each other, despite the obvious sympathy of both or one of them, and after parting with their other halves, someone (or both) think about how to get together. In this case, an honest conversation will also help.

But all this is relevant only for those cases when there is friendship between you, and not unilateral use of the other for your own purposes. If you encounter the second one, then you just need to leave this relationship, forget this person.

How to avoid being friendzoned if she has a boyfriend

If you like a girl who has a boyfriend, it's very difficult not to get friendzoned. There are two options:

Become her lover and hide the relationship from the guy (but why then will you need such an unfaithful girl in the future)
To win her away from a guy (if they have true love, then this will be difficult and pointless)

It is best to choose the opposite option - to abandon the girl and show male solidarity. There are so many beautiful and smart girls in the world that you can definitely find your one and only.

Example from life

I have one friend, and she has a friend. Yes, the same friend who is firmly entrenched in the friend zone. He spoke openly and more than once about his feelings, offered to meet, but was refused. They continue to communicate, meet with friends or go somewhere together, sometimes sleep together (without sex). But no one is using anyone. They are really just friends, only he dreams of something else. However, at the same time, both he and she sometimes meet someone and build their personal lives. Who knows, maybe one day this guy will leave the friend zone. True, the girl is sure that this cannot happen.

This is exactly what I was already talking about. I think getting out of the friendzone for guys and girls depends more on who is friendzoning. Still, when meeting someone, and especially knowing him well, only we ourselves can decide whether a relationship is possible. At least hypothetically. If not, then nothing the other person does will change anything.

Zone types

An obvious friend zone is when a girl immediately decided to dot all the i’s and, out of respect, explained to her “friend” that he cannot count on anything more than he already has. But still she does not stop taking advantage of her “friend’s” reliability. This can happen after admitting feelings or making any attempts to express them.

The hidden friend zone is dangerous because you can spend a lot of time there, wasting it. During this time, you can build a healthy and mutual relationship with another person, and not pray for your unrequited chosen one.

What do we have to do?

The subsequent actions of a guy who wants to leave the friend zone will be aimed at changing himself, behavior and the format of communication with the girl. Psychologists advise doing the following:

You need not to show your feelings and affection for the girl. One can imagine that the girl is actually just an acquaintance, not arousing much interest.
The man himself needs to become the most interesting interlocutor, communicate with her on all sorts of topics. It’s good if the communication involves a man’s sense of humor, charisma, erudition and intelligence.
A man needs to become a standard, developing in himself all those qualities and traits that girls look for in potential partners. That is, you need to become strong, strong, pumped up, smart, beautiful and stylish, successful and decisive. You need to find out the type that the girl prefers, and then adapt yourself to it.
You need to become independent. That is, if a girl called a man a friend, she should refuse courtship, changing her tactics of behavior. This does not mean that the man will stop spending time with her, he just needs to reduce it by going about his own business. A girl should not see a man suffering, this will only worsen the situation.
Despite the friendly format of communication, you need to give her compliments. By showing gallantry and manners, speaking words of praise and encouragement, you can establish an emotional connection between young people. But at the same time, you don’t need to look at her with loving eyes, showing more coldness.

Girls tend to act according to their mood, and as psychologists say, these are rather fickle individuals. Under the influence of circumstances and when a man’s behavior changes, a woman may look at him with different eyes.

Prevention

Now that we know what causes guys to get stuck in the friend zone, it's clear how to avoid it: just do the exact opposite!

Make sure you show her sexual interest from the very beginning.

Don't treat her as a simple friend and be sure from the very beginning that she will soon become yours.

Tell her you like her, that's okay, but be careful with endearments. Girls don't really like sappy guys.

Learn the art of giving compliments with sincere interest.

Of course, you don't need to kiss her feet, but a sincere compliment from a position of strength can be very helpful.

Go straight to physical contact - touch her lower back when you hold the door for her, extend your hand for her to hold on to, lightly squeeze her shoulder when you sit next to her.

Finally, the first kiss with a girl on the first date.

Even if you do just this, there is absolutely no risk that she will perceive you as a friend.

You are like a sister to me

Some guys are so afraid of responsibility and try to evade it that they come up with various excuses. Most often they are inspiring and harmless. But know that if you hear something like this from a man, then you are in the friend zone:

"I'm busy. . " (=does not respond within 2-3 days). Don't let him fool you. Even if he is sooo, no, not even like that. Even if he is sooooooooo busy, but he is interested in you, he will answer in the evening after work, the next day in the morning or at lunch. If he is silent for more than 24 hours, then you are just a friend who can wait.
“I’m so busy right now with work/study/I have a session/aliens have arrived, I need to cut a water well for them/I need to save the Earth from zombies.” No no no. These are soft excuses. It doesn’t seem to be rude, but it seems that somewhere in the girl’s heart there is a smoldering hope that everything will change soon. In most cases it will not change.
“You are a very cool friend. I appreciate you. You're an amazing girl." Run, wave your hand at him and run. Be a Goddess for another, open up the world of other men, post photos on Instagram in your underwear. Just run away from this swamp, throwing this suitcase without a handle into the kalyuzha.
He doesn't know your birthday, where you work, or what you eat for breakfast. Can you write a three-volume book about his habits and hobbies? Why do you need it?
A man often stares at girls and tells you about his love affairs.
Ignores your proposals for a meeting, makes excuses or blocks any manifestations of sympathy, and moves away from the topic of sympathy. Or, on the contrary, he has a roller coaster, then he plays with you, then he ignores you again.