How to behave if the husband does not respect and value his wife - advice from a psychologist


In this article we will tell you:
  1. 14 signs that a man doesn't value a woman
  2. Simple explanations why a man does not value a woman
  3. Advice for a woman on how to make a man appreciate her

Understanding what a man doesn’t appreciate can sometimes be difficult, especially if in words he remains sensitive, gentle and attentive. But he traded the anniversary evening for a get-together with the guys, and then “atone” for his sin with a bouquet of flowers and a trip to a cafe. Or, in a conversation with colleagues, he said that he was not in a relationship and was completely free, although a loving girlfriend was waiting for him at home.

For a woman, the realization that she is not valued is like a blow. Suddenly the realization comes that time and emotions were spent on this relationship, but all the words about mutual love were just a deception. When you are used, it really hurts. In order not to go through this pain, you need to learn to recognize the signs that will tell you that a man does not appreciate you.

Simple explanations why a man does not value a woman

  • You yourself allow this to happen

How to understand that a man does not value you? You need to set certain boundaries from the very beginning. You need to immediately show your character, otherwise the man will think that he can afford a lot with you. Either you don't like his behavior, but you don't say anything. All this leads to disrespect on the part of men. It is worth talking about everything openly, or the man will continue to behave inappropriately.

Many girls have this situation for the first time, and they don’t understand how to deal with it and what to do. The main thing is not to delay it and not lead it to a situation where nothing can help you. Therefore, at the first sign of disrespect on his part, be sure to tell your partner about it. Do not remain silent, but say that this behavior does not suit you. Explain to him what kind of attitude you want from him. Be bolder and talk openly about what exactly you don’t like about him.

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Take your gifts!

Knowing how he can and cannot behave with you, a man clearly understands that if he wants to be close to you, he will have to change his behavior. But keep in mind that you should not go too far and demand something unreasonable. Likewise, your behavior should be reconsidered in accordance with your requirements.

  • A man understands that you are holding on to him

You are afraid of losing a man - and this is a fairly common reason why he does not value you and your love. Men feel great when girls are afraid of losing them and hold on to them. They are not stupid, and therefore the more you cling to a man, the less he respects you. Therefore, you should not put a man on a pedestal and pray to him.

Be an independent and integral person, and then such situations will not arise in your life. Don't be afraid to break off the relationship, and then the man will understand that you need to be valued and respected if he wants to be with you. You must realize that you can and should set boundaries and rules for relationships. Or simply discuss them with your partner.

  • He has a complicated relationship behind him

Often a past relationship with a woman leaves a man with serious psychological trauma. Maybe it’s betrayal, or some ugly actions. The result of this is a bad attitude towards the weaker sex. Everyone knows men who, after failure in their personal lives, wanted nothing more to do with women. And those who decided to try again still broke down after some time and carried the grievances of the past into their present life.

What to do if a man does not value a woman, in this case? Just give him time to “heal his wounds” and pay attention to his behavior a little later. Let him know that you are not like his ex. Surround him with attention and care, and perhaps this will help him change his behavior and attitude towards you.

  • He asserts himself at your expense

Many representatives of the stronger sex show disrespect for their partner because they are not confident in their masculinity. They assert themselves by pushing away weak people. Through disrespect for the opposite sex, they show their strength and increase their ego.

You shouldn't tolerate this kind of attitude. It is worth openly telling him that you do not intend to tolerate such behavior. That you deserve to be treated differently. Otherwise, you will have to separate, because it is impossible to be together with such a person.

  • Lack of trust between you

Very often the reason why a man does not value his wife is her own mistrust. If you don’t trust your partner, constantly monitor him, control his movements, check his things, try to always be nearby, then he gets tired of you and stops respecting you. How to regain and develop trust is discussed in other articles. Here you must understand that without trust there will be no strong and harmonious relationships.

Life story

Olga did everything to ensure that her relationship with her husband was long-lasting. Breakfast in bed, helped with work and agreed with all his decisions.

He always had clean and perfectly ironed clothes, a hearty dinner. She completely took charge of organizing everyday life and did not ask him for help, so as not to distract him. Go grocery shopping and bring 3 huge bags of 10 kg each home? No problem. Take out the trash? Why ask for such trifles, especially since his hands are busy with the phone. I'll go down myself.

She also created and maintained romance in the relationship. I made surprises. Therefore, Olga was absolutely sure that her husband should carry her in his arms. But it turned out the other way around. Over time, my husband began to take everything for granted. And if nothing was ready for dinner, he would unleash all the dogs on her.

Olga looked around and was jealous. Because one friend’s husband brings coffee to bed, the other constantly compliments and gives gifts. Despite the fact that they are not strained in a relationship, to put it mildly. Of course, she felt injustice and resentment. As a result, she began to make scandals for her husband and billed her for everything she did for him and the family. They began to live like a cat and a dog. But everyone, of course, was sure that he was unconditionally right.

Advice for a woman on how to make a man appreciate her

When a girl understands that a man does not respect her and does not value communication with her, that she is not in the first place in his life, then it is better not to continue this relationship.

If a woman hopes to change the relationship for the better, then you need to listen to some advice so that the guy respects and appreciates you. Never put yourself in a dependent position on your partner. If you are addicted, you should try to get out of it as quickly as possible.

For example, a girl has an affair with a married man. She loves him and doesn't want to part with him. But the man is not going to divorce his wife, and makes this clear. As a result, a woman is dependent and subordinate to a man. What to do? How to regain respect? There is only one way - this relationship should be broken.

A woman should never allow herself to be criticized or told who to communicate with and what to do. Having allowed this once, then it will be quite difficult to change the situation for the better. The psychology of many men is such that if a girl remains silent to one critical remark, then to the second, unfounded nagging and claims will begin and he no longer values ​​such a relationship. Therefore, you should immediately respond to any comment so that the situation does not worsen.

By following these rules, any woman will make a man respect her.

Signs that a guy doesn't value his relationship

  • For a man, the girl he loves always comes first in his priorities. Whatever things a man needs to decide or do, he can always postpone or reschedule them for the sake of the woman he loves. If a girl sees that she is constantly fading into the background, she should seriously think about it. After all, everyone knows the proverb “If you want, you look for an opportunity, but if you don’t want, you look for a reason.”
  • A guy who really loves shows in every possible way the uniqueness and originality of his chosen one. It is not necessary to give expensive gifts or everyday bouquets of flowers. All the actions and actions of such a guy speak about the significant role of the chosen one in his life. If such actions do not come from a man, then the girl has to be content with a small amount.
  • A girl who invests more into a relationship than she receives from it should think about whether her chosen one needs her. Psychologists have proven that a man’s love for a woman is proportional to the funds he spends on his chosen one.

  • A man loves a woman for who she really is. Such a man does not need to prove anything and deserve his love and attention. Otherwise, a man does not value his relationship with his woman.
  • If a girl always makes concessions in disputes between partners, this means that the guy does not value the relationship with her. After all, a loving man will always be the first to make concessions to his beloved girl.
  • It is worth paying attention to the fact when a man values ​​only her external characteristics in a woman. After all, beauty is not eternal and gradually fades away. People are truly loved not for their appearance.
  • The words and actions of a loving man never diverge. If a loving man makes a promise, then he will definitely keep his promises. When the opposite happens, then for a man these relationships are not important and significant.
  • The more serious a man’s intentions are towards his chosen one, the more money he invests in this relationship. Thus, the guy strives to win the girl and achieve her favor. If a young man does not give gifts and flowers, then you should think about the seriousness of his intentions.

Psychologists draw the attention of women to the fact that the presence of at least one of the above signs in a relationship indicates that such a relationship will not lead to anything good for the woman. It is necessary to complete them as soon as possible, since every day it will become more and more difficult for the girl to do this.

Mistake 3. Fanatical love, when the husband is turned into an idol

If a woman is playing with one goal, you need to stop and think about why this is happening, and not let everything go. What are we talking about? There is a type of wives who idolize their man too much, literally shower him with love, fulfill his every whim, sacrificing their lives to make him happy. At the same time, they forget about themselves, abandon friends, hobbies, work and devote themselves entirely to their husband, his career, and health. They prepare him borscht, blow off specks of dust from him, take care of his mood, forgive everything... It is logical that a man relaxes, feels like the master of the situation, to whom everything is permitted, and ceases to appreciate the woman. But don't you deserve your own life? Stop patronizing your partner, don’t make an idol out of a man, switch to yourself. Once you remember that you are an individual person with your own interests, goals and desires; as soon as you understand that a family is a union of two equal people, and not a relationship between a king and a servant, everything will fall into place.

We hope you understand that the problem is not with your partner, but with you. You don’t respect yourself, you offend yourself, you tell yourself “no”... those around you simply broadcast your thoughts. Learn to love yourself, find a point of support within yourself - and the world will change. Are you not worthy of this?

Text:

How can a woman achieve self-respect?

If a guy doesn't value a girl in a relationship, she may try to woo him. One effective way is to show a man an example of respectful treatment. Let him feel that his partner loves, cares, appreciates, and responds to all his ugly actions with dignity.

The second pattern of behavior that a representative of the fairer sex can demonstrate is the opposite of the first. You can do what a man usually does several times, and be sure to voice it. Then the guy will see how ugly he looks from the outside, how painful it is to realize that you are not respected.

A great option is to use both methods. They will give a man the opportunity to compare opposite relationships, feel the difference and understand that the woman he loves has the right to respect.

Advice from a psychologist: rules of conduct

Among the methods of what to do if a guy does not value a girl in a relationship, psychologists recommend trying to change the situation:

  • Be self-sufficient, independent. Autonomy in decision making will prove to a man that you are worthy of respect.
  • Do not allow yourself to be criticized unreasonably. Any nagging directed at you must be stopped immediately so that they do not subsequently develop into insults.
  • Choose friends according to your own liking. A man has no right to decide who you communicate with, what places to visit, where to work.

A man should not be allowed to show superiority, since the union of two people must be built on equality and mutual respect.

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