How to teach a wife a lesson for disrespecting her husband: advice from a psychologist

“My wife doesn’t respect me” is one of the common thoughts that haunts many men. Is it possible to regain her respect and how to do it? Respect is one of the main things in a relationship.

How to change your attitude towards yourself and regain respect

If you have such thoughts, then this is no longer very good. Most likely, there are several things that need to be fixed. And the very first thing you need to do is admit the mistakes you make.

The situation is complicated by the fact that there are incorrect attitudes circulating in society and even among professional psychologists, and therefore you may hear incorrect advice on how to correct the situation. For example: to regain your wife’s respect, give her even more care and attention. But in fact, this will only make the situation worse.

Respect cannot be bought. No gifts or demonstrative actions will wake him up. Respect the individual. And if you don’t feel this way about yourself, then there’s something wrong with you. Yes, it hurts to hear. But the first step to solving a problem is accepting it.

1. Stop seeking her respect. No amount of persuasion will help. Accept the situation (outwardly).
2. Start analyzing your relationship with your wife. What are you doing wrong?
3. Identify areas you can change. But remember that you only have half of it in your hands.
4. Divorce is definitely not the solution. At least until you seriously try to change something. Give yourself at least a year to correct the situation.

Being in a very difficult situation is not scary. You know where to go. The point you are at now is just the beginning.

A wife's disrespect for her husband brings a lot of problems. And as soon as you start to change something, it will worsen, and its manifestations - lack of sexual desire, arrogance, insults - will reach their maximum point. You need to endure and survive all this. By regaining respect, you will get yours back. The relationship will be better than it was at the very beginning.

In general, trying to make a girl respect you is a big mistake! Yes, that's exactly what I said! They are doomed to resounding failure. The fact is that everything comes from within, from yourself. As soon as you truly respect yourself, those around you will begin to feel the same towards you.

1. Get in shape. Many people justify their loss of fitness due to age. Moreover, it is not clear how exactly this is connected, because some people look great at 50, while others have a huge belly already at 28. It is difficult to have respect for a man who has become fat. Anyone can lose weight and get fit.

2. Lose interest in her. Get used to it: many of the tips on how to regain your wife's interest sound counterintuitive. While you are running after her and doing everything to please her, you do not look like a man. More like a pet that is begging for something. The maximum she feels is condescension. Have respect for yourself, as I said above. Become self-sufficient. You have your own life, even if you are married. You can't buy location. No, no. Girls go crazy about men who are unapproachable and stingy with emotions. From now on, you no longer run after your wife and try to please her in every possible way.

3. Gain self-confidence. It is very important for a man to know his own worth - both in life and in relationships. This is a fundamental quality that must be maintained. There is nothing more pathetic than a man who has no self-respect. He is not handsome, not attractive, not sexy. The good news is that the situation can be corrected at any age. The main thing is to focus on your strengths and start developing them. And it’s worth starting with broadcasting this quality. Self-confidence is acquired through habit.

4. Remember your manners. A real man behaves with dignity. His habits and gestures are beautiful and elegant. Once upon a time, gentlemen were in fashion - they are what all girls dream of. Just remember your behavior at the moment when you made her fall in love with you, and compare it with what you do now. You are consumed by routine and everyday life. But most girls still manage - with more or less success - to maintain their attractiveness and sexuality. For some reason guys have problems with this.

5. Gain mastery in sex. If you know how to bring your girlfriend to orgasm and do it regularly, she is unlikely to stop wanting you. Good lovers don't lose respect because they have at least one good quality. Learning the wisdom of sex is not so difficult. And if you didn’t have a partner who could do this, turn to literature.

As you can see, you need to work hard on yourself to regain your wife’s respect. But all this will help you in the rest of your life. So your wife’s attitude is only the first indicator that something is wrong with you. Act quickly before you waste everything you have.

Modern representatives of the fair half of humanity are no longer the weaker sex, as they once thought. Wives try to rise above their husbands, trying to infringe and humiliate them. Some ladies openly cheat on their husbands, showing disrespect and causing pain. Will such persons treat their spouse with due respect? Perhaps, but a man needs to try hard.

This is interesting.

The sensational story of a wife’s disdain for her betrothed made the male population rejoice. The Egyptian lady showed her husband dissatisfaction with his salary and the constant lack of money in the family. The country's authorities have introduced a law that states that a husband has the right to file for divorce if his wife accuses him of insolvency. The Supreme Judge supported the decision in every possible way, considering such a harsh statement groundless.

Method 1. Love your own “I”

The wife will not respect a husband who disdains his own person.

Husbands who please their wives in everything need to change their strategy. Do you buy expensive things and perfume for your loved one, but wear faded jeans? Be careful, girls quickly get used to good things. Perhaps this is why your wife stopped respecting you; she got the impression that your husband is unworthy of more.

Don't let yourself be humiliated. Refuse tasteless food if this is actually the case. You are an adult, worthy man who needs high-quality and healthy food. Watch your figure, eat right, join the gym. Ladies love sculpted abs and broad shoulders.

Did your spouse buy a T-shirt on sale that looks terrible on you? Make her a doormat.

A girl dresses in expensive boutiques, spends half her salary on shoes from Botticelli, and at the same time buys her husband cheap T-shirts with crooked prints? Stop allocating money to whims, making it clear that you are the “leader of the pack.”

The situations described are a drop in the ocean of humiliation of male pride. Stand up for your point of view even in petty situations, love yourself and don’t let your wife suppress your man’s ego. Go to a good store, buy an expensive watch and beautiful shoes, after all, the budget is shared.

How to learn respect

Let me be clear: respect is not synonymous with submission or suppression. Male leaders do not want a silent slave at home. Respect means sincerely recognizing that your husband is the head of your family, that for you he is the most important person, and all other people dear to you, including children and parents, are inferior to him in importance. Only in a family where a wife sincerely accepts her husband and trusts his decisions can happy children grow up - and then, having created their own families, they will be able to build the right model of behavior with their spouses.

Learning to sincerely respect your spouse and accept his decisions with all your heart is not easy. Start with this: stop looking for confirmation of your fears and concerns in his words and actions. Perceive his actions as concern for the good of the family. For example, imagine that your husband suggests that you do something completely incredible: say, move to another country overnight. Try to track your reactions to such a proposal. If you are angry, indignant, believing that your husband is selfish and does not think about you, then you... do not respect your spouse. And even if you silently but reluctantly submit to his decision, he will feel it.

Ask if you don’t understand your husband’s position, ask him to explain why this decision is good for the family. A more effective approach is to have no doubt that he is acting in the interests of the family, and to evaluate his actions from that point of view. If you realize this, then your first reaction to an offer will not be irritation or resentment, but reasonable questions: “Why are you offering me this? Why did you decide that this would be useful for our family?”

Method 2: Become self-sufficient

Constantly look for options for additional income. Don't live off your salary and struggle to make ends meet. Most women blame their husbands for material poverty, as a result of which they cease to respect them. It's logical. There are no such ladies eager to marry a man sitting at home watching TV with a bottle of beer in his hand instead of doing business.

The question arises about a small salary? Convince the woman that you are trying to provide for your family. She made a vow at the altar to be with her husband in sorrow and in joy, in wealth and in poverty; reproaches here are extremely inappropriate. However, the advice about additional income remains relevant.

Get rid of laziness, read literature, develop yourself and lead your loved one. The man is the guiding line, the wife is the guided one. Take the initiative and don’t shy away from funny ideas; women love an unconventional approach.

Pursuit 2

When most people hear the word “stalker,” they imagine a paranoid maniac chasing a defenseless girl with a knife through the city at night. But in reality, stalkers can have other guises. And the pursuer does not necessarily have to be a man - sometimes obsessive behavior is also typical of girls.

There are several types of behavior that psychologists classify as stalking.

• Endless phone calls.
• A barrage of text messages. The victim literally has to turn off the phone in order to be left alone.
• Repetitive intrusive visual proximity: a person constantly flickers before his eyes when it is clearly disturbing.

Harassment is grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

Method 3. Engage in re-education of your spouse

It is generally accepted that a man does not need to complain about his wife and about the car, they say, he chose it himself. But what to do when the situation gets out of control? That's right, re-educate.

Tied the knot with an eccentric lady? You'll have to sweat a lot. Temperamental girls are difficult to “train”; they have already developed a certain character and, by and large, such girls do not want to change anything.

Men who praise their women should reconsider their position. Stop indulging her, learn to say “No!” when a controversial issue arises. Pay attention to what exactly your spouse is unhappy with, then try to convey your own point of view in a calm voice.

Is your wife complaining about your constant absence due to work? Make it clear that making money while at home is quite difficult. If the arguments are unconvincing, invite the girl to start working while sitting on the couch next to you.

Are you quarreling with your wife because, in her opinion, you are not paying enough attention to your child? Make a compromise, show the qualities of a caring father. Show that even when you are tired, you care about your family.

Why does a wife's behavior change after marriage?

Surely everything was fine with you before the wedding. She was sweet, yielded, admired you, but after several years of cohabitation she turned into a hysteric and a vixen. Various trainers on male psychology call the wife’s past behavior “demo mode”, and say that when she “turns it off”, it is useless to correct everything. This is usually not true.

The wife's changed bad behavior can be caused by various reasons. This could be physical fatigue, hormonal imbalance, internal depression against the background of age-related changes or childbirth, or personal crises.

All men should remember about the physiological and personal factors before they begin to raise their spouse.

Remember one very important truth:

If a child cries and misbehaves because he is tired, it is useless to scold and spank him, he will only yell more. He needs to be consoled and put to sleep, and educated when he comes to his senses.

Very often, the man himself provokes his wife’s incorrect behavior through his inaction and concessions. He initially set himself up as a non-conflict equal partner, constantly endured whims, left family management to chance, spoiled his wife, voluntarily took on most of the responsibilities around the house, and thus himself dropped his authority through the floor.

Method 4. Become an attentive lover

You can often hear the phrases from women: “My husband and I have boring and monotonous sex!” or “My husband doesn’t satisfy me!” Become an attentive lover so that your wife will look forward to you coming home from work in the evenings.

Sex for married people often loses its spark and becomes routine. Watch an erotic film together, flirt on the phone, discuss secret fantasies. For every talented lover there is a more experienced male, improve your skills and experiment. Light the wish candle again!

Sex is like a transaction. Forcing sex5

If your partner expects some benefits from you in exchange for sex, you can only dream of respect. Physical intimacy represents both pleasure and a way of intimate communication between people. If this area becomes the subject of extortion, it is worth considering on what basis intimacy with a partner is based.

Forced sex also speaks of disrespect. Your partner may not overtly threaten you; but under no circumstances, regardless of the phase of your relationship, can you be forced to have sex. By the way, in addition to violation of integrity, violence also includes disrespect for sexual preferences (for example, ridicule).

Method 5: Leave room for a riddle

You earn good money, occupy a high position, but your wife has lost respect for you? Stop spoiling her. It is clear that you are ready to fulfill any whims, but in everything you need to know when to stop. It’s not for nothing that Pushkin wrote “The more we love a woman, the less she likes us...”. Don’t run forward to fulfill all your beloved’s wishes, leave room for some mystery, you are not an open book. Let the lady ask for a favor, showing her need. This way you can gradually remove the crown from her.

Did your spouse give you a beautiful (totally unnecessary) writing pen for your birthday? Reciprocate.

Is the girl in no hurry to share family stories? And you shouldn't amuse her with stories about the events that happened last weekend.

As a rule, wives stop respecting their husbands because of their own considerations. Some are dissatisfied with the lack of attention to their person, others want to live like queens, and others do everything themselves without outside support. Identify the true motives of behavior and begin to act. Where the carrot is powerless, try the stick.

Refusal to compromise 7

Without the ability to agree and reach consensus in relationships, communication between people is impossible as such. This is important in any type of relationship - both romantic and between people in general.

If you detect these signs, you should convey your position to your partner. If he is ready to engage in dialogue and make efforts on his part to change his attitude towards you, well, it is quite possible that your love affair still has a future.

Video: how to teach a woman to respect a man

According to statistics, 40% of married couples break up. Women, like men, periodically go “to the left,” so deceived husbands often think about how to punish their unfaithful wife for cheating. There are a huge number of ways to take revenge, but not all of them will bring the desired effect.

Gaslighting 3

This is one of the most subtle ways that tyrants and manipulators control relationships. And, of course, there can be no talk of any respect in the case of gaslighting.

This technique of emotional abuse involves instilling in the victim his inadequacy by absolutely any means. For example, a man finds a photo of a naked lover on a girl’s phone, accompanied by an SMS message: “I miss your silky skin, honey!” When he asks her what it is, she denies everything. To the point that the partner will show the gaslighter a photo of the man, and she will answer that she doesn’t see any photo - he’s hallucinating.

Cases of female gaslighting are believed to be rare; Mostly, this manipulative method is used by men. It is impossible to communicate with such people. If your partner is a gaslighter, chances are they are unlikely to ever change.

Reasons for female infidelity

It is important to understand why the girl took such a desperate step. The guy must eliminate the cause, not the effect. This can be called the only way to save a couple.

Often ladies are not ready for marriage. They didn't have enough time. This happens in young families.

A wedding is an important step. Before getting married, you need to make sure that both partners are ready for this, because family life comes with responsibilities and duties. Not everyone is ready for this.

Another common reason is routine. Love is a chemical reaction in the body. At the beginning of a relationship, hormones are in full swing, causing a person to experience ecstasy. After 3 years the senses become dull.

People begin to live together, constantly flashing before their eyes. Due to the lack of personal space, quarrels and conflicts occur.

To avoid thinking about how to punish a girl for cheating, variety is needed. Passive relaxation in front of the TV will not give you new sensations. It is worth traveling, going to interesting places. This needs to be done together. New joint emotions will ignite faded passion.

Often the cause of betrayal is intimate dissatisfaction. A man often considers a woman a conquered mountain, and since he has achieved her, it means that there is no need to make efforts to maintain the relationship. Such judgments are detrimental to relationships. A guy must fulfill his marital duty both in bed and outside of it.

Often women become victims of abusive relationships. The husband may drink, swear, or do other bad things. The wife wants normal love, so she leaves the family nest.

Scheme of family relationships

If you draw a diagram of correctly built relationships in a family, they will look like this.
The first circle is husband and wife, the second is children, the third circle is close relatives, then other relatives and friends. It is the husband who should come first. Only in such a family can happy children grow up: they do not participate in the conflicts of their parents, since they are simply not involved in their relationship. For them, mom and dad are the primary source from which they learn to build their relationships with future partners. Women who are accustomed to making their own decisions find it difficult to come to terms with their husband’s harshness, give up the struggle for power and learn to accept their man for who he is. In Russia, historically, women had to be strong in order to survive. Our grandmothers and great-grandmothers were forced to take on the role of breadwinners for the family when the men went to the front.

However, what only three generations ago became the key to survival today turns into intra-family conflicts. After all, a husband feels like a man when he is responsible not only for himself, but also for his family. And if a wife makes important decisions without consulting him, if she believes that submission to her husband is unacceptable, the man will sooner or later begin to complain about a lack of respect. Complaints are not necessarily expressed verbally. For example, a once promising spouse may eventually “settle” on the sofa. Instead of conquering the world, he will passively click TV buttons. This behavior is a direct consequence of disrespect on the part of a woman!

Options for dealing with this situation

There are many options for how to take revenge on your wife for betrayal and painful betrayal.

First of all, it is necessary to determine what revenge will bring. Often men begin to do stupid things in an aggressive state, and then regret it. First you need to determine what you want:

1. Is it worth saving such a marriage?
2. Revenge on your wife for betrayal will be a beautiful final chord of living together.

Guys are rarely willing to forgive something like this. They are owners by nature, because of this they perceive the departure of a loved one for another man as a personal insult. A husband can take revenge on a girl for cheating in two ways:

• physical;
• moral.

Direct violence should be abandoned, since it is punishable by the Criminal Code. The law states that a person has no right to restrict the freedom of other people.

Before teaching your wife a lesson for cheating, you need to think things through. You need to understand what kind of person she is. You will have to hit the painful points to achieve the desired result.

How to show respect: 12 tips

Now that you have taken the first step towards trusting yourself and your man, it’s time to move to the next level - showing your man your sincere respect.

Respecting a man means:

• Recognize his status and authority as a leader.
• Respect his physical and male sexual strength.
• Recognize his intelligence and abilities.
• Respect his merits and achievements.
• Respect his interests and hobbies.
• Respect a man’s personal space (his phone, computer, diary). He will show and tell you everything he deems necessary. The rest is his own business.
• Trust his decisions.
• Appreciate his work as the breadwinner of the family.
• Appreciate what he does for you and tell him about it.
• Listen carefully when he speaks.
• Answer questions very specifically.
• Talk to a man without arrogant tones in your voice.

Ways to punish a woman

You need to take revenge wisely. The guy must follow a number of rules in order to commit an act of revenge:

1. Don't cross the line and end up in a prison cell.
2. Understand whether he is ready to forgive his unfaithful spouse or not.
3. Do not be led by emotions, so as not to regret your actions.
4. Do not go beyond your own moral convictions.

Girls are punished for cheating in two ways: by ignoring or publicly disclosing information about the act that occurred.

Punishment using gadgets

Psychologists do not recommend resorting to this method to take revenge on a girl for treason and betrayal. This can hit a man's pride.

A guy can go into his wife’s phone and start conversations with other men. Thanks to this, the girl will be exposed in an unflattering light. Some write insults to their wife’s close friends.

This method does not always give the expected result. Those around him learn about the deception and begin to despise the stupid husband who is not able to accept a woman’s deception with dignity.

At the household level

Anyone who thinks about how to take revenge on the girl who betrayed him for cheating wants to throw away her things. This method should be abandoned. This kind of behavior is typical of wives, not husbands.

Some use sexual manipulation, but in the case of “looking for someone else on the side” this is not the best punishment.

It is worth limiting the unfaithful spouse in finances. Many girls earn less than guys, so this tactic can make them realize how dependent they are on their chosen ones.

Other ways of revenge

If you study the advice of a psychologist, you can understand that the ideal way to punish a wife for cheating is indifference.

The girl realizes that she has done a bad thing. A cold attitude on the part of a guy will make her shudder, which will worsen her inner feeling of discomfort.

Ignore the cheater. This will become real psychological torture for her. She will repent for a long time.

In case of divorce, you can use other methods:

1. Tell your friends about your ex's shortcomings. A convenient way to lower her authority in the eyes of others. However, it is rare for a husband to take revenge on his wife for cheating in this way.
2. Start a new romance. The girl should be better in all respects. This will bring not only moral satisfaction, but will also cause jealousy in the cheater.

Why a husband does not respect his wife, reasons:

1. That's how he was brought up.

If in the parental family the father was a tyrant and treated his mother rudely, then the child absorbed from childhood that this is how it should be. Many families have a disrespectful attitude towards women, but not all men become cattle when they grow up.

Why is this happening? No one can answer this question; much depends on what is inherent inside the child by nature. Some become an excellent family man and respect and appreciate their woman, while others completely copy the attitude of their father towards their mother.

Is it possible to somehow change the behavior of an adult man, is it possible to somehow teach him, or even teach him a lesson?

There is an unwritten rule - if a person doesn’t want to, you can’t force him. After all, such a man does not see any problem at all in his relationship with his wife. Everything is normal for him, as it should be. And he doesn’t even understand that he’s mocking a woman.

Rough disrespectful behavior, rudeness, is absorbed with mother's milk, and such men have specific views and beliefs about women, for example,

• A chicken is not a bird, a woman is not a person.
• All women are fools.
• It's a woman's job to cook food and wash the floors.

Why, one wonders, a woman from the very beginning of a relationship cannot discern such a tyrant, a misogynist?

Because he's pretending... maybe he doesn't even know what he'll be like in a relationship yet. After all, he didn’t have his own family, he had nowhere to show these negative qualities.

1. Complexes and low self-esteem.

One of the reasons when a husband does not respect his wife is complexes and low self-esteem.

When one person humiliates and insults another person, then at such a moment he feels on top, feels superior. And this state of affairs speaks of major internal psychological problems.

He wants to feel confident, to feel self-sufficient, but the complexes that arose in childhood or adolescence do not provide this opportunity.

Complexes can be very different - he does not feel courageous, sexy, does not feel his authority, he has fears, etc.

Unfortunately, with equal or strong personalities, such men do not show their inclinations towards rudeness, because, by and large, they are cowards. But with a woman who is weaker physically and sometimes emotionally, they literally “bloom.”

And after all, they move towards such destructive behavior in small steps, they said something, did something - they assessed it, what was the reaction?

Is it possible to continue to do this? Did you have a ride? She “ate”, remained silent, did not answer, which means that she can continue to slowly become impudent and trample on the dignity of a woman.

I am sure that if you have such a man, then he clearly knows with whom and how he can behave? In such cases, it cannot be said that he acts unconsciously, because he does not understand what he is doing.

He understands everything perfectly and does his dirty work completely consciously.

Can a woman somehow influence and change such a man?

In my opinion, it is unlikely. A change in relationships can only happen if a man decides to undergo a serious internal restructuring, a change in his perception. It is very difficult for such men to accept help, because he will understand how imperfect he is.

1. Psychological trauma.

One of the reasons why a husband does not respect his wife is psychological trauma.

When we talk about psychological trauma, we mean that there was a traumatic event that changed his worldview, sense of himself, and attitude towards people. Trauma can occur at any age. Of course, most often, childhood trauma has a huge impact on character and attitude towards oneself and the world.

Bad attitude, cruelty, lack of love and attention in childhood, all this creates a “shell” in relation to other people. During falling in love, when a man receives a lot of love and recognition, then love “melts” this “ice fortress”. But the views and character traits acquired earlier, over time, take over.

In my practice, there have been many cases where men who passed through hot spots received serious psychological trauma. Any war, participation in hostilities breaks the human psyche.

Unfortunately, it is not customary in our country for men to undergo rehabilitation after hot spots, no matter how seriously their psyche was damaged.

Such men show disrespect for women at times, often this happens during moments of alcoholic intoxication, when all the brakes are released and internal demons come to light.

Two of my friends, their husbands, went through hot spots and neither of them went through rehabilitation or ever visited a psychologist, although such a service can be obtained completely free of charge.

What was going on in their families?

When sober, they are white and fluffy, I love it, I’ll buy a tram, but if a drop of alcohol gets into my mouth, then all hell breaks loose.

Thank God that both friends were able to realize what was happening and ran away in time.

Advice from psychologists

Experts recommend taking the news of betrayal with dignity. The best way is to help your wife pack her things with an understanding face. For a girl who is accustomed to having to fight for her, such behavior will be a shock. She has suffered a severe blow to her pride, she will begin to doubt her actions and may want to stay.

Also, psychologists do not recommend damaging your wife’s property. It is better to avoid such methods of solving the problem, since such behavior can lead to problems with the law.

The most important question is whether to forgive betrayal. The answer to this must be individual. People are different, so not everyone is able to forgive betrayal. For example, guys with high self-esteem usually get divorced. They understand that they do not want to continue living with a traitor.

A man should not pester his ex-lover's friends. Such methods aimed at hurting the offender look pathetic and repulsive.

A person must be able to forgive. This is difficult to do, but this is the only way to truly teach a cheater a lesson. Men are proud creatures, so they must face difficulties along the way with dignity.

How does disrespect for a husband end?

Firstly, when a wife says bad things about her husband, she not only does not respect him, but moves away. That is, it’s like she’s building a wall, putting a block in the way of energy that should go from her to her husband in order to charge him with her boundless support and instill confidence. There is a feeling that there is a complete stranger nearby.

Secondly, such behavior in itself takes a lot of strength and positive energy. And vice versa - women's participation, involvement, compassion provide an incredibly large charge for accomplishing grandiose things. Therefore, when there is condemnation, indifference appears, from which you simply don’t want to do anything. Simply put, in this way the wife cuts off her husband’s wings, which could raise her above the rest. And so - alcohol flows like a river, money is not earned, the thread of mutual understanding is torn. A vicious circle appears in which the “hated” person is powerless to change anything.

Thirdly, psychological distress appears in children for whom “mom and dad” are an inextricable whole. They see that the mother does not respect the father, and this provokes a lot of complexes and problems. Teenagers are especially vulnerable: they begin to study worse due to individual internal protest, they are rude, do the opposite, engage in dangerous habits, and so on. In general, they lose the ability and desire to maintain good relationships and follow in the footsteps of adults.