Family relationships are, unfortunately, not only mutual understanding and love. These are also quarrels, scandals, insults, disappointments. In general, anything can happen. So what should we do? How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? Advice from psychologists will help you understand this situation. After all, under no circumstances should we let such a situation take its course.
How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? Advice from psychologists: gather your thoughts
It is, of course, unpleasant for every woman to hear insults addressed to her. Naturally, there is a desire to insult in return or completely stop communicating with this person forever. The situation is completely different when humiliation and insults come from one’s own spouse. Firstly, his words hurt much more painfully. After all, he knows perfectly well how and where to “hit” you with a word in order to hurt and hook you more precisely. Secondly, leaving and not returning is much more difficult. You are still connected by marriage, children, friends and relatives, common living space, financial dependence. Thinking about what to do in this situation, a woman, as a rule, begins to rush from side to side. But he can’t decide on a certain rational action. This can go on for years. But this is simply unbearable. You need to figure out how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect. The advice of psychologists in this case will be very helpful. First of all, you need to decide not “what to do,” but “what will happen if you do something, but incorrectly.”
The stupidest way to improve a situation is to take revenge
Now there are various “relationship gurus” who advise solving problems in relationships with your husband through manipulation. Psychologists are of the opposite opinion: if you resolve issues this way, your relationship with your husband will quickly deteriorate, and he, in turn, will begin to violate your boundaries even more sophisticatedly, as he will quickly understand the “rules of the game.”
Remember, boundaries are not only with your husband, but with all the people around you, be they acquaintances, friends or parents. Do not try to blame and hate others for their disrespect for you, since the blame for this lies solely with you.
Has your husband become completely insolent? Let's set boundaries! How should a real man behave? | MILA LEVCHUK
If you cannot understand your boundaries, it means that your parents suppressed them in childhood, forbidding you to have your own opinions and feelings. For example, when you wanted something, your parents convinced you that you didn’t want it and that you didn’t need it, and when you cried, they prohibited the expression of emotions in the form of aggression and rejection. As a result, you grew up as a neurotic who constantly turns on others, no longer trusting himself, but them. In this case, only a face-to-face consultation with a psychotherapist will help, who will help you regain the ability to hear and trust yourself.
What is the reason?
So, let's act! How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? The advice of psychologists may be different, but all experts unanimously say that it is necessary to identify the essence of what is happening, the reason for such behavior.
In most cases, women believe that the reason lies in themselves. Either they “didn’t have time” for something, or they “didn’t do it,” or they “didn’t please.” Either they are “bad mothers,” or “bad cooks,” or “unkind wives.” In fact, this is not the case at all. These are just reasons for the spouse to find fault and throw out his negativity. The real reason lies in the fact that the husband is sadistic in this couple on purpose. He takes pleasure in humiliating the weak. It is impossible to confuse a sadist with any other person. We are all human, of course. Everyone can sometimes swear and be rude. However, in the case of a sadist, everything is completely different. His insults are filled with horrific filth. The vocabulary contains expressions intended not just to call a person, but to offend, cause pain, and humiliate.
The main thing is to act!
As soon as you start thinking about how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect, the advice of psychologists will become your best assistant. In principle, it is impossible to change such a spouse either with the help of persuasion, or with the help of conspiracies, or with the help of coding, or with the help of hypnosis, and certainly not servility to him will help. Accordingly, it makes no sense to expect that everything will work out and get better on its own. That is, it is necessary to take active action. It is not the husband who needs to be changed. It is necessary to seek protection for yourself and your children.
Fatal mistake
Not every woman thinks about how to teach her husband a lesson for disrespect. The fact is that representatives of the fairer sex are accustomed to adapting to different situations. To adversity in life as well. In addition, our women, due to the peculiarities of their mentality, are much more patient than elsewhere. It is not surprising that they are so simply and easily ready to accept humiliation and insults from a man, slowly getting used to them. And this, of course, is their fatal mistake.
By insulting and humiliating his wife, throwing nasty things at her, the husband deals a painful blow to her psyche. Even if she endures all this, it will not bring anything good. But the worst thing is that each time these attacks “take an upward course.” If initially this was the only rude word, then over time there will be a dozen of them. And then blows may follow. As a result, a woman cannot realize herself in life, hobbies, work, or feel joy and love. She can only expect further attacks every day.
Instead of a scandal, a conversation
Serious conversation
It is necessary to avoid two extremes in behavior with a man.
- The first of them is constant scandals. Some women tend to provoke conflict situations in order to make their partner guilty. And after the goal is achieved, begin to manipulate it.
Against the background of grievances, such women are provided with a certain psychological comfort with very tangible benefits as a reward.
It would be more correct to strive to call a man for a confidential conversation. In this case, phrases should be unemotional and specific. Simple words reach men more easily, while hysterics and angry speeches are not perceived by them. Note! First try to express your complaints, and then express your wishes.
A blow to children
But our children suffer the most from such violence. Unfortunately, among many women there is an opinion that for a child the presence of absolutely any father is very important - even a tyrant and despot, even a name-caller and humiliator, even an alcoholic, as long as there is one. Women console themselves with the fact that he is still their own father. They are even more confident of this if men do not touch children. They endure everything for the sake of marriage and financial assistance.
Naturally, this is a huge misconception. For a child, the mother is always the person who provides him with protection. If they yell at her and cause pain, it means that the baby loses his sense of security. Accordingly, he gets stressed. And this is fraught with negative consequences. Some children begin to steal and lie, others begin to fear death, and still others begin to torture animals.
People rarely connect problems with a child on the one hand and humiliation from a husband on the other. And in vain. The connection is the most direct. Therefore, a woman who wants to maintain peace in her family must definitely figure out how to teach her husband a lesson about disrespect. There are a lot of tips. The main thing is to choose exactly what you need. Stop at the best option.
If a man has cheated or is already dating another woman
You want to punish the cheater in a special way, so that he feels all the pain and resentment of the abandoned half. The best way to prick such a man is to sincerely rejoice at the fact of betrayal. “To be honest, I’m glad it all happened this way, and it was you who initiated the breakup. I stopped loving you a long time ago (I never really loved you), but I never had the courage to admit it to you,” “I’ve been looking for a reason to break up with you for a long time, because I fell in love with another man a long time ago, I’m sorry. But I truly wish you happiness, you deserve sincere love.” When a man hears such words, he experiences a whole range of feelings: anger, misunderstanding, disappointment, wild resentment. Therefore, no matter how much it hurts you, swallow your tears and say in an even voice what will morally finish off the traitor.
If he not only cheated, but is already in a relationship with another woman, try to punish the man by starting an affair with one of your mutual friends. This always hits below the belt.
Or you can punish a guy for insults through a new chosen one:
- Tell the girl (if she is adequate) about the guy’s actions, his character, bad behavior, etc. Even if she doesn’t believe it “here and now,” you will make her constantly think about it.
- If your new crush won’t listen to you or you simply don’t want to interfere in their relationship, ask an old mutual friend to do it for you. Surely you still have best friends from your previous company, right? Let the bravest and most talkative one slowly tell her new lover all the passions of your relationship and separation.
- If you are not afraid of scandals, act directly. You can punish a man for grievances by sending his new lover letters that he once dedicated to you. Jealousy has no expiration date, it is the weakness of every woman. Nothing will be lost from you, but a scandal will break out there.
- Create a real page with a photo of some stunning girl. Slowly join groups that a man is interested in, comment on his posts, flirt with him, ask to be his friend. Do not skimp on compliments, ambiguous phrases, exciting photographs. Everything he answers can act as compromising evidence for his relationship.
Or you can punish a traitor through a virtual page, killing a man’s self-esteem. Communicate, flirt, but then abruptly cut off communication. Just write goodbye: “Damn, you’re kind of boring. If I hadn’t seen your age, I would have thought that I was dealing with an 83-year-old man,” “I can’t stand narrow-minded people. No, someone also likes such guys, but it’s definitely not me.” Or you can play further with this page and make an appointment in a month. Make an appointment... and show up there yourself.
Now there are also many groups on the Internet that help punish female abusers. You join, tell your story, give your phone number and enjoy the result. They call the cheater at any time of the day or night, write intimate SMS from different numbers, lie in wait for his passion, can annoy him on social networks, etc. Such men then live a bitter life.
You can also write sweet letters from unfamiliar numbers in the evenings: “Thank you for that night,” “When will you come again?”, “You forgot something with me last time,” etc. Scenes of jealousy and tears in a couple are guaranteed . It’s a pity, of course, that another girl suffers for your grievances, but you will definitely be able to punish the man.
Most negative outcome
The most dire consequences can be expected if your children have a sound vector. The ears of such children are hypersensitive. That is, they generally require quiet sounds and calmness. If the father yells at the mother, and even throws humiliating words, such a child not only loses the sense of security like other children - he also receives a powerful blow to the most sensitive area. Hearing terrible screams, he may gradually lose contact with the outside world and withdraw into himself. This sometimes even leads to autism or schizophrenia.
In general, a woman, especially if she is a mother, needs to take care of her family. Take the necessary actions that could help in the current situation. In a word, do everything to ensure that the husband respects and appreciates his wife.
Excessive attention
So, the next stage. You figured out the reasons and made conclusions. Now you need to decide how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect. Psychology offers several methods. The main thing is to correctly define the task. If you still love your husband, you should not make him suffer. This task is so that he can realize his guilt, understand what mistake he made and what pain he caused.
Start giving him undue attention. Most likely, this will not be easy at all. However, it's still worth a try. Give compliments, pleasant surprises, have romantic dinners. For what? Looking at your efforts, your spouse will be able to understand that he really was wrong, that you are the best woman, that no one will ever take care of him the way you do. Having realized all this, he will begin to suffer from remorse and repent in the depths of his soul. And self-flagellation, as you know, is the best punishment. If your spouse only slightly offended you, do exactly that.
Why is he acting this way?
Before looking for ways to solve the problem, you need to understand what the reasons for this attitude are. The most common ones include the following.
- If a man earns a lot, then it is quite understandable that he will be able to treat his woman this way. He considers himself the main one in the relationship and thinks that the woman should follow his orders unquestioningly.
- Many men grew up with affection and care from their mother, so a picture of an ideal woman in the form of a mother formed in his head. Unfortunately, you don't live up to it.
- Very often, spouses compare their wives with the wives of friends and acquaintances. This is what may cause disrespect towards you.
Inattention
Next method. How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? An effective method, the opposite of the one described above, is inattention on your part. If your husband doesn’t see how you try to please him and forgets about important dates, naturally, this is very offensive. However, do not shout or swear. Just keep quiet. He will definitely remember everything he forgot about.
Let's say your husband promised to be back for dinner. Without warning, he goes with friends to a cafe or bar. Do the same to him in revenge. Let him feel like he is in your place.
Has your spouse stopped thanking you for the food you prepared? Think fried potatoes are ordinary? Stop cooking for him altogether. Leave several times without breakfast, lunch or dinner.
Constantly talking about how you are doing nothing while sitting at home? Why endure slander? Sit at the computer or sit in front of the TV. Don't actually do anything. Let him know what it's like.
Do you want to teach your husband a lesson because he claims that you are “resting” on maternity leave? Leave it with your baby all day. Well, have a shopping day with your friends or visit a spa. It is unlikely that after this he will be able to say that caring for a child is simple and easy.
In case of betrayal
This is probably how one of the most terrible troubles manifests itself, when a husband does not respect his wife. What to do in this case? Someone cannot forgive their spouse and simply breaks up with him. But many loving women, who cannot imagine their lives without insidious traitors, are not ready to take this step.
The easiest way is to declare a boycott. Stop washing and ironing his things, cooking, and helping with something. In general, ignore your husband completely. Communicate with him only in case of emergency. Just remember that this method is quite risky. With this attitude, the spouse can simply leave for another woman. However, think: do you really need such a husband?
One of the most difficult ways to punish a faithful person is indifference. Pretend that his betrayal is completely indifferent to you. Surely he expects scandals, screams, and hysterics from you. And you will act as if nothing happened. Make fun of him from time to time about the fact of his betrayal. In this case, he will definitely begin to be tormented by remorse. He will ask you for forgiveness and try to justify himself. Any man will be shocked by such a reaction. Thoughts will appear in your head that you have stopped loving him, that you need to somehow atone for your guilt. According to many psychologists, this will serve as an excellent lesson for the future for your spouse.
Revenge strategy
Before taking revenge on the man who offended you, look at the situation from different angles to calculate the possible outcome. To do this you need to cool down. Perhaps yesterday the partner’s action seemed like the beginning of the end, but today the offended party will perceive it differently.
Psychologists do not advise taking revenge on a man for grievances if a woman continues to be in a relationship with him, since war is a fiasco. But if simple conversations and logical arguments are not able to change anything, and the strength to resist the blank wall has run out, it’s time to choose a punishment for the negligent man. What it will be depends on the extent of the damage caused to you.
Before deciding on a course of action, think over a punishment plan. To do this, think about all the options for the outcome of your planned revenge, weigh all the pros and cons, try to predict your man’s reaction. If he has a hot temper, think twice about whether revenge will bring you serious harm.
Proceed with action only when everything is weighed and sorted.
In case of drunkenness
Another big problem. Why does the husband not respect his wife, driving her to nervous breakdowns with his daily drinking and partying? Perhaps he cannot cope with this addiction? Or maybe he doesn’t even try, doing it out of pure selfishness or, even worse, out of spite for his wife?
What to do? To begin with, take into account absolutely all the consequences that his drunkenness affects. If this happens regularly and ruins your plans, he definitely needs to be taught a good lesson.
It is best to present your husband in the most unflattering way possible. Show him how stupid he looks when he's drunk. Give free rein to your imagination by choosing your punishment. You can cover his fingernails with a bright polish and hide the nail polish remover away. Give it only when he asks you for forgiveness. You can draw a mustache with a waterproof marker or write an obscene word on your forehead. You can paint your lips. Or you can even cut the clothes he came in so that in the morning you can ask where he was wearing it.
Don't accumulate resentment
Holding grudges is very dangerous.
However, such behavior is impractical. It’s even worse to accumulate grievances in order to remember and take revenge at the first opportunity. It is much more useful to take a little time to realize what happened and immediately discuss the situation with your spouse. It is important to understand:
- Did your spouse really have any intention of causing offense? If there were no such desires, then it is better to ignore what happened. Do you have a desire to carry this resentment further? If not, then it is advisable to talk to the man and explain what is boiling over.
Important!
It is difficult to find a woman who does not know how to be offended by her spouse, and sometimes even come up with conflict situations. It is important to be able to avoid anger over trifles, to identify real grievances from actions through carelessness and without malicious intent.
