The infidelity of one of the partners always hurts the heart of the other and causes a variety of thoughts - from attacks of despair and the desire to immediately break off the relationship to inventing ways of revenge. For many men, cheating is considered an extreme form of betrayal, and a woman after it is considered dirty and unworthy of love and attention. And a situation where you can just go your separate ways and forget about everything will not always suit a young man. In most cases, he will not calm down until he figures out how to take revenge on his girlfriend or wife for cheating, even if she already becomes an ex.
Rational decision
When a young man finds out about his wife's infidelity, he may experience a state of emotional shock, accompanied by a strong desire to be punished for infidelity. Often this can lead to irreversible consequences. Therefore, to begin with, it is very important to calm down and analyze the problem that has arisen. It often happens that when making a decision, a man blames his girlfriend for everything and does not think about the true reasons for such an act and his role in it. In fact, it is useful to analyze the circumstances that could have prompted the lady to engage in such indecent behavior. This will help you understand the situation, distribute thoughts in your head and make a reasonable decision.
The reasons for female infidelity may be as follows:
- If you have an early marriage (for example, due to an unexpected pregnancy), then perhaps your spouse was not mentally prepared for it. After all, this is a deprivation of a certain freedom, constraint by family obligations, etc. In other words, she did not have time to work up and is now trying to make up for lost time.
- Perhaps your partner is more temperamental than you and may simply be unsatisfied in the intimate sphere, so she is looking for “supplements” on the side. Especially if lately you have begun to refuse her for some reason. For example, due to being very busy or tired.
- The satellite behaves repulsively. For example, flirting with other ladies, potential infidelity, frequent use of alcohol (and possibly drugs), use of physical force towards a partner, stinginess and hiding money, etc.
It is important to calmly consider the possible reasons for the betrayal of your significant other and understand what your role is in this. On this basis, a decision is already made on what to do next with your relationship. But here you need to take into account some points:
- everything must be within the law,
- violence with the use of physical force is excluded,
- It is prohibited to involve third parties in your disputes, especially children.
Advice from psychologists: think about the future
At first, because of anger and resentment towards your wife, you may become completely immersed in thoughts of revenge. But in the heat of the moment you can make a lot of mistakes, so psychologists recommend taking a break.
Find a way to live separately so as not to see the traitor. Ask a friend to visit you, go to your parents, or, as a last resort, rent a hotel room. Only alone with yourself can you figure it out and understand what you want.
Understand what you want: save your family or get a divorce.
Before taking active steps, you need to decide: are you going to continue living with your spouse or are you planning to get a divorce? At first the answer seems obvious, but the next morning doubts may arise. Not everyone is ready to part with their beloved wife, deprive their child of their family and erase ten years of marriage because of one mistake.
Return to thoughts of revenge only when you have made your final decision and cooled down a little.
Define the goal
Every relationship has its own individuality, and, accordingly, there cannot be a general solution for all couples. But it is important for a man to set his own ultimate goal, to decide how to live further and in what case he should take revenge on his wife for betrayal.
As a rule, there can be two goals:
- Break off the relationship and never return to it. When you understand for sure that this act cannot be forgotten and forgiven, sometimes the best punishment is cold-blooded indifference and help in collecting personal belongings. The girl may ask for forgiveness, fall to her knees, swear that this will not happen again, or even beg to hit her. Because it is indifference that hurts the most. After all, the companion expects emotions, anger, declarations of love or hatred, but not a disregardful attitude. And for you, in turn, in order to maintain your own dignity, it is better to vent your emotions in the gym or boxing gym and go away for a while to work, a hobby or vacation.
- Try to maintain the union if there is love or children together. If you have chosen this goal, then most likely your feelings will prevail over your resentment. And you understand that you are not an exclusively ideal partner either. Therefore, it is important to save the family and try to forgive your beloved. After all, you still have to live with her. Most women appreciate such an act and try after this to do everything to please their spouse and create family comfort.
Remember that the feeling of revenge is, first of all, resentment for oneself and focusing on it. As a rule, this condition is accompanied by low self-esteem, depressive thoughts, and the inability to do something and solve problems adequately. Therefore, it is important to find strength within yourself and abandon gloomy thoughts and terrible plans. Instead, show your companion that you are a self-sufficient person who can do without her help in any matter, and reduce communication with her to a minimum. Then she will probably regret what happened and sincerely repent.
How to punish your ex-wife after divorce
Having officially broken the marriage bond, a man may also want retribution; the following methods will come to the rescue:
- Find a gorgeous girlfriend. Getting into a serious love relationship immediately after a divorce is not the best way to arrange your personal life. The desire to prick your ex-other half, the desire to quickly start a new family, demonstrating that you are in demand, seething resentments are an obstacle to the search for a candidate wife, but no one has canceled girlfriends, dates, and novels. It will be unpleasant for a wife, even if she is in a relationship with another man, to see a beauty next to her ex-husband.
- Share the situation with your friends. It is worthwhile, without unnecessary suffering, to notify godfathers and family friends about the treacherous act of the cheater, the outrageous deceit committed behind her husband’s back.
- Rise higher. A great way to take revenge is to achieve personal success and become prettier. The plan is wonderful because anger aimed at self-improvement will benefit the guy himself.
- Join a gym , lose excess weight, give up cigarettes, start watching your diet, change your image, start traveling, meet new people, think about career growth, or start your own business.
A surefire way to make an unfaithful woman bite her elbows is to become better than she was during the marriage. Divorce puts an end to family life. Many spouses tend to underestimate their partner, consider him physically imperfect, boring, and a loser.
Seeing her ex-husband getting out of a new, more prestigious car, looking younger, fit, impressive, a woman experiences unpleasant emotions, because he is obliged to suffer, lose sleep, lose appetite, roll over, drink himself to death, and not enjoy life, change for the better.
Methods of punishment
If you understand that you will not be able to live and sleep peacefully if your friend goes unpunished, then we will consider the most acceptable methods for this:
- Physical. In a fit of anger, representatives of the stronger sex most often use physical force. But in this case, it is important to remember that you are dealing with a woman who is much weaker. And in principle, such an act does not look good on any man. Therefore, if you couldn’t control yourself and your hand rose on its own, then the maximum that could happen was a light slap in the face. She, as in films with the participation of Celentano, will help to “sober up” the partner and hurt her pride.
- Psychological. Young ladies are emotional creatures, so moral influence will be more effective in terms of punishment. For example, you can start a “cold war” and simply ignore your lady love: both in communication and in sex. An indifferent attitude and detachment will make your spouse feel guilty and useless. It is important to pause long enough before accepting her attempts to earn forgiveness and renew contact. This way the error will be fully recognized. But keep in mind that you shouldn’t delay it too much. After all, in despair, the chosen one can simply go to her lover.
- Material. You can punish your passion by reducing its funding or even completely depriving it of funds (of course, not those that it earns on its own). At the same time, demonstratively make a major purchase for yourself, for example, buy a gold watch or a car.
- Jealousy. Improve your appearance, periodically flirt with other ladies and be away from home more often. If your companion has feelings for you, it will stab you painfully into the heart, causing bouts of jealousy and an understanding of what it’s like to be betrayed by a loved one. But you shouldn’t repeat your wife’s negative action yourself, so as not to stoop to her level and not offend other, innocent women by refusing further relationships.
If you cannot calm down from the insult and are wondering how to punish your ex-wife for cheating, you can consider the following methods as an alternative:
- Demonstrate your success in business, work, sports, so that she understands what kind of man she lost and regrets her action.
- Find yourself a worthy soul mate and, if possible, brag about it. Show how beautiful, feminine, caring, faithful she is and what incredible happiness you found when you met her. Then the ex will definitely bite her lips out of anger, resentment and disappointment.
- Surprise your ex-wife completely by thanking her for remaining in your past, thanks to which you have a new life and a more worthy chosen one.
Whatever method of revenge you choose, it is important not to lose your dignity and not cause too serious harm to the girl. After all, it is unknown how life will turn out in the future and what consequences may arise. It is enough that the young lady realizes her negative action and sincerely regrets it.
I punished my wife for cheating, what should I do?
Having committed an act of retaliation, you should not tell anyone about it, not even close friends or relatives. Such information can harm a person’s reputation, showing him to be vindictive, insidious, petty, and if disclosed to third parties, cause additional conflicts with the ex-wife, her relatives, or a new man.
Let the satisfied hunger for justice become the starting point for a new, happier life.
You should not take revenge on your ex-wife with the help of your children, “punishing” her with non-payment of alimony, denigrating the woman in the eyes of the offspring, calling their mother offensive words. Such behavior does not harm the cheater, but the child.
When he grows up, he will figure out who is right and who is wrong. There is no need to turn his childhood into a war zone between two people close to the child who were unable to find a common language.
Why does a man behave this way?
First, let's give a little advice: open confrontation, swearing and assault are not at all what you need in such a situation. Especially if you are raising children together.
First, you should find out why your man decided to offend you, infringe on you and show his disrespect for you in every possible way:
- awareness of the assigned head of the family;
- constant comparison of you and other women and not in your favor;
- the character and certain upbringing of a man initially;
- repetition of his family model in your family;
- your lack of self-respect, your low self-esteem.
What not to do in such a situation
Remember, no matter what happens between you, avoid:
- constant “pilling” and scandals. Do not provoke scandals, even if your man has seriously offended you;
- If you finally achieved your goal and the man feels guilty, don’t start manipulating.
The apparent comfort of receiving various benefits and realizing oneself “wins” in the conflict will not last long. The best option for getting out of a crisis relationship is a heart-to-heart conversation.
Men don't take yelling and angry tirades very well. It is much better if you pull yourself together and invite your partner to talk calmly. A confidential conversation is exactly what you need.
Don’t say a lot, it’s better to keep it short and to the point. After all, men, as we know, do not perceive large amounts of information well by ear.
What is the reason?
So, let's act! How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? The advice of psychologists may be different, but all experts unanimously say that it is necessary to identify the essence of what is happening, the reason for such behavior.
In most cases, women believe that the reason lies in themselves. Either they “didn’t have time” for something, or they “didn’t do it,” or they “didn’t please.” Either they are “bad mothers,” or “bad cooks,” or “unkind wives.” In fact, this is not the case at all. o - just reasons for the spouse to find fault and throw out his negativity. The real reason lies in the fact that the husband is sadistic in this couple on purpose. He takes pleasure in humiliating the weak. It is impossible to confuse a sadist with any other person. We are all human, of course. Everyone can sometimes swear and be rude. However, in the case of a sadist, everything is completely different. His insults are filled with horrific filth. The vocabulary contains expressions intended not just to call a person, but to offend, cause pain, and humiliate.
Fatal mistake
Not every woman thinks about how to teach her husband a lesson for disrespect. The fact is that representatives of the fairer sex are accustomed to adapting to different situations. To adversity in life as well. In addition, our women, due to the peculiarities of their mentality, are much more patient than elsewhere. It is not surprising that they are so simply and easily ready to accept humiliation and insults from a man, slowly getting used to them. And this, of course, is their fatal mistake.
By insulting and humiliating his wife, throwing nasty things at her, the husband deals a painful blow to her psyche. Even if she endures all this, it will not bring anything good. But the worst thing is that each time these attacks “take an upward course.” If initially this was the only rude word, then over time there will be a dozen of them. And then blows may follow. As a result, a woman cannot realize herself in life, hobbies, work, or feel joy and love. She can only expect further attacks every day.
Was it worth being offended?
Unfortunately (or fortunately) men cannot read women's minds. You wanted milk chocolate, but he bought dark chocolate? You cut your finger and he didn’t even feel sorry for you? Men are not telepaths, and it is extremely difficult for them to understand your desires just from your face. Agree, such situations have happened more than once in your life.
Women love to invent problems and blow them up into a scandal. Instead, it’s better to directly say what exactly doesn’t suit you and what you want: “Honey, I’m so tired at work, pour some hot tea and bring a blanket.” Not difficult, right?
Believe me, with such tactics, a man’s head will stop buzzing and he will not torment himself with questions about what he did wrong.
The calmer what is said, the greater the chance of being heard. Yes, yes, it’s better to leave tears, hysterics and raised voices.
Why there is no need to accumulate grievances
As the famous proverb says, if you keep stones in the hem of offenders for a long time, sooner or later they will knock off your own feet. So it’s better not to accumulate grievances, but to immediately “say” what exactly didn’t suit you.
Accumulating unpleasant moments, and then dumping everything on the head of the “guilty person” at once is a so-so prospect. It is better to take time to talk and find out everything.
Find out:
- whether your half had a goal to offend you;
- Do you want to continue to live offended or do you want to get rid of this burden?
What should be the exciting phrases?
In general, the main secret of exciting phrases lies in their naturalness and the absence of pretentious wording. Such phrases can be passionate, very frank, a little ridiculous, naive, timid... Or harsh, vulgar, angry and even obscene. It all depends on the type of button with which the sexual mechanism of men is launched.
Each of them has its own, individual type. That’s why phrases can excite people in a variety of ways. You just need to choose them correctly and use them at the right moment with the right intonation. Otherwise, instead of desire, these phrases will cause laughter or even irritation.
What is the right moment and the right intonation? The right moment is not only the time when the male consciousness is ready to react to this or that exciting phrase. This is a period when a girl feels completely free, without experiencing any fears or constraint. In order to catch such a state, you need to feel all the charm of what is happening, forgetting about everyday problems and completely relaxing.
Yes, sometimes it’s not so easy to enter it. Well, you’ll have to work a little on yourself and learn to disconnect from the oppressive routine. In the end, do we have the right to joy or not?! If you live only with worries, you won’t be able to waste your happiness for long!
As for the correct intonation, it should be such that no note of tension or artificiality is felt in the voice. Phrases can be pronounced both in a whisper and quite loudly. The main thing is that they sound organically, clearly and as if arbitrarily. The most interesting thing is that the natural timbre of a young lady’s voice often has a devastating effect on men.
Well, in any case, much stronger than attempts to excite him with unnatural purring or deliberate intimate penetration. The main thing is that the words have sexual overtones. Moreover, our men have the peculiarity of hearing such subtext even in the most innocent phrases.
For example, we say to someone without any second thought: “What beautiful fingers you have! As if they were meant to be played on the piano...” And it seems to him that there is a piquant hint in these words. They say that with such fingers you can also caress a woman’s body. Or in the usual remark “let’s get down to business,” a man may find a hidden subtext like “let’s go to bed already.” So you shouldn’t be surprised that your interlocutor’s eyes suddenly blurred and his speech became confused. We just said words that seemed ambiguous to him.
The words that turn a man on can be anything. Even those that make the walls blush. Their selection depends on the preferences of the chosen one and his subconscious reaction to external factors. Some people are aroused only by provocative frankness in conversation, while for others one seemingly completely chaste phrase is enough.
And some men light up with desire when they hear swearing, generously seasoned with strong expressions. Therefore, it is difficult to create a universal set of flammable words. True, many ladies believe that this is not so. And that almost all men lose the ability to think sensibly if you quietly tell them something like: “Oh, honey, I’m not wearing underwear today!” or “I feel so good in bed with you! You are so sexy...”
In the first case, some individual may decide that the sweetheart is hinting at a lack of money to buy good underwear. They say, you, dear, will have to fork out some money. In the second - that she wants to flatter and appease, because she has been guilty of something.
Therefore, if we intend to excite our beloved with some phrases, we must have at least a vague idea of his inclinations and character. Some men are completely driven crazy by a woman’s obvious promiscuity, others by intimate trust and romantic sexuality. There are also those who deserve shameless debauchery. Or those who generally demand something, we don’t know what. In general, all conversations that excite the male imagination usually concern several topics. What are these topics?
Most negative outcome
The most dire consequences can be expected if your children have a sound vector. The ears of such children are hypersensitive. That is, they generally require quiet sounds and calmness. If the father yells at the mother, and even throws humiliating words, such a child not only loses the sense of security like other children - he also receives a powerful blow to the most sensitive area. Hearing terrible screams, he may gradually lose contact with the outside world and withdraw into himself. This sometimes even leads to autism or schizophrenia.
In general, a woman, especially if she is a mother, needs to take care of her family. Take the necessary actions that could help in the current situation. In a word, do everything to ensure that the husband respects and appreciates his wife.
The smell and taste of passion
Aroma and taste can become the leading note of sexual arousal, especially if you manage to associate it with the memory of great sex.
Find out what your husband likes. Does he really like your regular perfume? Maybe he prefers a more subtle scent coming from you? Heavy oriental, with spices? Light vanilla, like a teenage girl? Experiment and find out what the lover of his dreams smells like.
- Start your romantic evening with a bath. Add some aromatic oil to the water.
- Then go to your husband's bedroom and ask him to evaluate the smell coming from your body.
- Show where exactly the aroma is heard most - on the neck, chest or near the stomach. Your naked appearance and seductive aroma will do their job - the evening will end perfectly!
- Play with your favorite lubricants. There are dozens of them to choose from, for example, with the smell and taste of chocolate, strawberry, vanilla. Even if you don't need lubrication, these products can provide both of you with fun in bed by enhancing sensations through aroma and taste.
Some men do not like foreign smells and tastes during sex. Perhaps your husband is one of those people who thinks your body smells divine without any fragrance.
If this is your option, make a bold move. Find a secluded place in a public place or at a party where you two are attending. Tell him that you can't wait to be home in your bedroom because you think about him all the time.
Look into his eyes with a seductive look, slide your hand under your clothes and touch your vagina under your underwear. Place a wet finger near his face and say, “See that?” - he will go crazy with passion as soon as he smells your sexy scent!
Excessive attention
So, the next stage. You figured out the reasons and made conclusions. Now you need to decide how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect. Psychology offers several methods. The main thing is to correctly define the task. If you still love your husband, you should not make him suffer. This task is so that he can realize his guilt, understand what mistake he made and what pain he caused.
Start giving him undue attention. Most likely, this will not be easy at all. However, it's still worth a try. Give compliments, pleasant surprises, have romantic dinners. For what? Looking at your efforts, your spouse will be able to understand that he really was wrong, that you are the best woman, that no one will ever take care of him the way you do. Having realized all this, he will begin to suffer from remorse and repent in the depths of his soul. And self-flagellation, as you know, is the best punishment. If your spouse only slightly offended you, do exactly that.
A blow to children
But our children suffer the most from such violence. Unfortunately, among many women there is an opinion that for a child the presence of absolutely any father is very important - even a tyrant and despot, even a name-caller and humiliator, even an alcoholic, as long as there is one. Women console themselves with the fact that he is still their own father. They are even more confident of this if men do not touch children. They endure everything for the sake of marriage and financial assistance.
Naturally, this is a huge misconception. For a child, the mother is always the person who provides him with protection. If they yell at her and cause pain, it means that the baby loses his sense of security. Accordingly, he gets stressed. And this is fraught with negative consequences. Some children begin to steal and lie, others begin to fear death, and still others begin to torture animals.
People rarely connect problems with a child on the one hand and humiliation from a husband on the other. And in vain. The connection is the most direct. Therefore, a woman who wants to maintain peace in her family must definitely figure out how to teach her husband a lesson about disrespect. There are a lot of tips. The main thing is to choose exactly what you need. Stop at the best option.
In case of drunkenness
Another big problem. Why does the husband not respect his wife, driving her to nervous breakdowns with his daily drinking and partying? Perhaps he cannot cope with this addiction? Or maybe he doesn’t even try, doing it out of pure selfishness or, even worse, out of spite for his wife?
What to do? To begin with, take into account absolutely all the consequences that his drunkenness affects. If this happens regularly and ruins your plans, he definitely needs to be taught a good lesson.
It is best to present your husband in the most unflattering way possible. Show him how stupid he looks when he's drunk. Give free rein to your imagination by choosing your punishment. You can cover his fingernails with a bright polish and hide the nail polish remover away. Give it only when he asks you for forgiveness. You can draw a mustache with a waterproof marker or write an obscene word on your forehead. You can paint your lips. Or you can even cut the clothes he came in so that in the morning you can ask where he was wearing it.