Hello, dear readers! Today we will discuss one of the fundamental, complex issues of relationships in a couple. We will talk about a painful breakup, when the feelings are too strong to simply forget and put an end to. Let's try to understand how to let a man go so that he comes back; the advice of a psychologist, by the way, will help better than the hackneyed Internet algorithm of throwing things away and crying for a week. Let's find advantages where it seemed they couldn't exist, let's finally learn to love ourselves, and not live for someone else.
What not to do
Traditionally, it’s worth starting with a clause about what you shouldn’t do immediately after a breakup, so that you don’t regret it for the rest of your life. The one whose partner was everything in his life is left alone with himself, with feelings, or rather with aching pain, which, it seems, cannot be overshadowed by anything. Constant thoughts about a partner, an expression of one’s own worthlessness, uselessness, make one weak, vulnerable, and uninteresting. In this state, not the best ideas usually come to mind:
- suffering, begging for a return are obviously disastrous options - in the first days the ex feels a surge of freedom, independence, and cannot be overcome by pity;
- running to a bar for adventure means cutting off the possibility of renewing communication;
- locking yourself at home, burning photographs in order to survive the first stage of “liberation” - there is a danger that ordinary grief will develop into protracted depression;
- building a new love - without dealing with the past, you will only be able to drag the burden of worries into the future and torment yourself and the new guy;
- overeating and alcohol - you obviously cannot get happiness by destroying yourself.
How to stop thinking about a man: 15 steps to getting him out of your head
“I can’t stop thinking about him as much as I try.” How many times has this sentence sounded in your head?
It doesn't matter whether we're talking about your ex-boyfriend or your friend, when you find yourself in the middle of this situation, you feel hopeless, helpless and trapped. You try everything possible to end this crush on one person, but nothing gives you a positive result. Well, the truth is that being obsessed with someone can have devastating effects on your emotional and mental health and that it can seriously impact the quality of your daily life.
Your ruminating thoughts weigh you down, keep you from doing new things, and represent heavy emotional baggage that you continue to carry with you wherever you go. However, the fact that you cannot stop these stressful thoughts from appearing in your mind is not the end of the world. At the end of the day, it's something we've all been through and something you'll overcome sooner or later.
The truth is that sometimes people are convinced that they have left some emotions and thoughts behind them, but in reality they have simply buried them under the rug, and sooner or later those emotions and thoughts will reappear when you least expect them.
That's why we're here to prevent it. Just read and follow these 15 steps and we promise you that you will kick all men out of your thoughts once and for all.
Make a decision
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Before you can make progress in stopping obsessive thoughts and maintaining your mental health, you need to be sure that this is what you really want and this is the best decision for you right now.
You need to make a firm decision that you really want to get this person out of your head because they don't deserve a place in your life or your thoughts.
Essentially, you need to accept reality as much as it hurts and acknowledge the truth about that person, no matter how harsh it may be. It is imperative that you give up all hope that they will ever change in the future or come back to you.
You do this to get rid of your own stressful thoughts. You are doing this for yourself and for your own good!
Get answers
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When you read an interesting book or watch a great movie, it's natural that you wait until the end to see how it ends.
So it would be strange if you didn't react the same way when it comes to your own life. This person we're talking about was probably the main character in one of your life chapters.
Whether he did something that caused you heartache, or he didn't live up to your expectations, abandoned you when you needed him the most, or simply abandoned you without a proper explanation, you need some answers.
You want to know what happened, when and how it went wrong, and whether you are somehow to blame. So, if you get the chance, seek that closure you desperately want. Don't rely on your memories and feelings.
Be an adult, call this person and ask him all those questions that have been on your mind lately. Don't see this as an opportunity to start over or repair your relationship with him. Instead, see this as a chance to turn over a new, fresh page in your life.
3....or accept that there will be no answers
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However, there are times when you just can't get closure. Perhaps too many negative things have happened between you and this person, your pride is preventing you from reaching out to them, or they simply don't want to give you the explanation you're looking for.
Either way, sometimes you have to move on with your own life without answers.
You must accept things as they are now, without trying to look for reasons, excuses for how someone treated you. Instead of seeing things from your own perspective, realize that we are not all the same. There are people who are willing to do things you haven't even thought of, and people who don't see their actions the way you do.
So, instead of beating yourself up and wasting more time and energy trying to resolve questions that will obviously remain unanswered, focus on your path to overcoming this person and do everything you can to let them go.
Give yourself a deadline
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When you go through the healing process, initially you have an uncontrollable urge to cry.
You continue to spend time locked in your room, screaming or thinking about everything that happened. And this is nothing unusual, nothing to be ashamed of, it is not something that makes you weak. In fact, it only makes you human.
However, if your behavior ceases to be just a phase that lasts for a certain period of time, and instead develops into one of your habitual patterns of behavior, you actually have a problem and you can easily become depressed.
This is why you must set a deadline for yourself: set a date by which you will be allowed to grieve your loss. When this period is over, pick up the pieces of your broken heart and forget about feeling sorry for yourself. Take a leap into your future and don't let your past eat you alive.
Write down your emotions
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While you're going through the process of training your mind to forget about the person in question, it's a good idea to start keeping a journal of your thoughts and emotions.
There are some things that confuse you. You can't share them with even your closest friends, and you don't want to go to a therapist, but paper can handle anything. You can even write everything down on a piece of paper and then burn the paper at the end of the day.
Stop blaming
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When you're trying to figure out how to stop thinking about someone, you just have to ignore everything that happened between you and that person.
After all, you're not trying to make things right or repair your relationship, so what's the point in playing the blame game? Does it really matter who screwed up? Does it matter who should take the most responsibility and who is to blame when things go downhill?
Why do you keep thinking about all the things that could and should have been? Why are you focusing on all the potential this relationship could have when it clearly isn't ending the way you planned?
Realizing that all relationships are a two-way street and that it takes two to tango may be shocking at first, but it will ultimately set you free. This means that you probably bear your share of the blame, and that it would be unfair to blame the other person for all the bad things that happened. However, this also means that you should never blame yourself for everything.
Forgive and release your anger
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As soon as you try to get someone out of your mind, there's a good chance they've caused you some serious harm.
This is especially true when you're wondering how to stop thinking about your ex who may have cheated on you, abused you, or left you for someone else.
In this case, all possible emotions are mixed inside you. You're nostalgic for the good times that are behind you, you miss them (even though you know you shouldn't), but most of all, you're incredibly angry.
You can't stop holding grudges, and anger completely consumes you. You want revenge and you think that the only thing that can make you feel better is to take revenge on the person who hurt you so much.
Well, that's where you're wrong. It's not that this person doesn't deserve to try his medicine - it's that he doesn't deserve you to deal with him anymore.
The most important thing is that you do not deserve the negative emotions that overcame you.
You see, your anger and curses have no effect on him, but they certainly hurt you.
So no, revenge won't make you feel better. In fact, it will only drag you down to his level and make you just like him. However, forgiving, letting go of anger and replacing it with positive thoughts will definitely help you heal.
Yes, it takes a lot of effort. It takes a lot of character and inner strength to forgive those who don't even regret mistreating you. However, you are not doing this for them - you are doing it for yourself. You do this because it is the only way to free yourself from your cage and the only way to finally be at peace with yourself.
You must forgive and let go of anger because this is the only way to rise above those who hurt you. The only way to overcome their evil is to move on and stop thinking about them.
Avoid him
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Now that you have completed most of the steps regarding your internal struggle, it is time for more specific actions.
You will begin by physically removing this person from your world. Apparently you cut all ties and had no further contact with him when your relationship ended.
However, this is not enough. This was someone you spent a lot of time together with, so you two developed similar habits. Perhaps you have mutual friends and family members, or you still go to the same places you used to frequent together.
Well, either way, it's time to cut all your ties - it's time to avoid him as much as possible.
Get rid of everything that might remind you of him
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When you can't stop thinking about someone, the last things you should be surrounded by are their clothes, gifts and other things.
So, the next step is to remove all the things that remind you of your ex. Stop wearing the clothes or jewelry he bought for you. Change your perfume if it reminds you of him. Stop listening to the songs you listened to together.
Block him
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Blocking someone's number and social media profiles may seem like a childish solution, but if you keep wasting time obsessing over that person, it's the only solution you have.
Stop looking at his photos, stories and status updates; block him on every social media platform possible. This will be the right step for your mental health.
Find the positives
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Every bad thing that happens to you has its good sides, even if you don't see them right away. So, instead of thinking about everything that went wrong, and instead of perceiving your breakup or current state as the end of the world, try to see it from a more positive perspective.
First of all, remember that God always has a plan that we usually don't see. Remember that everything happens for a reason and that losing this person has likely saved you from a lot more pain in the future.
No, losing this person is not the worst thing that can happen to you. In fact, it's probably the best - you just don't see it at the moment. Also, don't forget that when one door closes, another always opens.
This means that there are huge things waiting for you around the corner - you just have to be patient to wait for them, and you have to grow yourself to become a person who is ready to accept them.
So instead of mourning everything that happened, be grateful for it. Be grateful to God for sending you these trials that have made you a stronger person. Be grateful for the chance to gain something new from life and be grateful for all the lessons you have learned.
Redirect your thoughts
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The next step in your healing process is to redirect your thoughts elsewhere.
After all, you spent a lot of energy and time thinking about this person, so now that you've decided to finally forget about him, you don't know what to do with yourself. You are now bored and want to return to your thoughts, which have become an addiction for you.
Well, the key is to focus your attention elsewhere because you can't sit at home all day and keep your mind clear. This is why you should be as busy as possible - you should tire your body and mind.
Go to the gym, join a book club, reconnect with your old friends... whatever takes your mind off this person. Just make sure you're surrounded by people and things that have nothing to do with him and that won't remind you of the memories you're trying to leave behind.
Remember that you are responsible for your happiness
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When we fall, most of us expect a miracle to happen. We secretly hope that someone will jump into our lives with a magic stick that will remove all our problems in the blink of an eye.
That's why we ask others for advice: because we expect them to give us the secret formula that will banish all our problems. But in reality, you are the only one responsible for your own well-being and the only one responsible for your happiness.
Go back there
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Whether you're trying to figure out how to stop thinking about your ex, a friend who betrayed you, or even how to stop thinking about your past with someone, the main thing is to try communicating with other men.
Yes, you read that right - go find yourself a new romantic partner or a new friend because that's a definite way to move on from someone you're trying to get over.
You're probably tired of online dating and stupid contacts, and you're tired of looking for someone you trust enough to make your best friend, but give yourself a chance to meet someone new. Give others a chance to show you that not everyone is like that person from your past!
Give yourself time
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Another thing you need to understand is that treatment is rarely a linear process. In fact, it has its ups and downs, and the most important thing is that it does not happen overnight.
There will be times when the object of your obsession will reappear in your thoughts out of nowhere, after you think you have managed to get rid of it for good, and when this happens, don't beat yourself up because it's completely normal and it doesn't mean that you have failed.
Of course, don't let this moment of weakness send you back to square one. Just understand that these things happen and try to be as prepared as possible for them.
Give yourself plenty of time to work your magic because time truly heals all wounds!
You may be interested in reading: 11 little signs that a man is head over heels in love with you
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What does it mean to let go
It’s worth deciding, letting go does not mean forgetting. Letting go means giving freedom to your partner, and most importantly, freeing yourself from projecting your internal dependence onto him. One esoteric Talmud describes an interesting method of how to mentally let go of a person or visualize liberation:
“...You need to close your eyes and imagine how tight ropes stretch from the heart and lower abdomen to the departed partner. They pulsate, pumping out vital energy, giving him confidence that he is better than he is and deserves more. Then, mentally, large golden scissors are taken and the ropes are cut..."
Some may find the practice funny, but it has a completely scientific basis from the point of view of psychology. So, usually the one who is less dependent, the one who allowed love, announces separation in a couple. Exaggeratedly, such a partner believes that if such an attachment has developed, then He is really better than others and deserves more, but while there is no more, he can stay in this relationship. After a breakup, this confidence is fueled by pitiful messages and the unhappy appearance of the jilted party. Only by cutting off this supply can you stop feeding Him with the illusions of your own superiority, and force Him to plunge into a reality where no one needs Him.
How to stop loving your ex if he is married, if you see him every day - etc.?
How can you stop loving him if you have to see him every day at work? Or accidentally meet him every morning because he lives in an apartment (house) across the street?
Or…
But what difference does it make if you have already put an end to it? No!
It's like quitting smoking: until you want to quit, you will constantly be drawn to a cigarette, and neither patches, nor smart books, nor seeds will help. You can quit only if you really want it - immediately and forever. Without leaving even a tiny hope for yourself that “then, one day, well, if only a little, well, you never know, but anything can happen...”.
Or be like children. When a child is afraid to pull out a baby tooth, he asks his dad (or mom) to do it quickly, so that he won’t be afraid for a long time, and so that the pain will go away instantly, as if it never happened, “sniff” - and it’s done. Just tie the tooth by a string to the door and pull the door sharply. Everyone did this when they were kids. The child always shields himself from pain. And quickly forgets about sorrows. And he puts his “I” above everything else. Not because he is an egoist, but because the child lives in today, and not in yesterday or tomorrow. And he just enjoys life, the wind, the sun, a new toy, mom and dad, a delicious dinner. He has no time to be sad, to cry over photographs, to remember, to torment his heart with all sorts of nonsense.
Learn to be a child. Work on yourself!
How to get rid of unrequited love and start living - practical instructions
Swap places
No wonder they say that as soon as you forget a man, he will immediately return. This is not just an old wives' saying. Anyone who wants to achieve love, the return of the past, must understand that partners must equally be dependent on each other. If one side is too overwhelmed with attention, then it will give back the same amount of care less. Therefore, as much as you want to be accepted, loved, appreciated, learn to appreciate, love, accept yourself. Stop trying to catch up, convince them of love, give them the opportunity to feel how things could be different.
At this moment the fun begins. When someone who is confident in his exclusivity does not find the usual support, his self-image begins to crumble. In this case, the crisis cannot be avoided; perhaps the man will come back with claims and conflicts. After all, if one side becomes independent and confident, the other feels discomfort. At this moment, you should not destroy your built-up understanding of yourself, or succumb to instilling feelings of guilt. He must experience an internal conflict, and then realize how wrong his assessment of what was happening was.
When to cut him out of your life
How to become confident and increase self-esteem for women and men
To fight for a loved one or to break up - such thoughts often torment the heads of people in love.
Leave a man
When doubts overcome, psychologists recommend familiarizing yourself with the main reasons that indicate the futility of a relationship:
- If a young man is married and does not intend to get a divorce. You should not hope that over time the man will change his decision. It is necessary to terminate such communication as soon as possible.
- If a young man stops calling and supporting in difficult situations, and prefers to spend his weekends in the steam room with friends, then one should not idealize his nature.
- If a guy immediately found a new companion after breaking up, it means he didn’t have strong feelings. Therefore, you should not “knock on a closed door.”
- If a man spreads unflattering rumors or tells intimate details of a former relationship, you should not fight for the love of such a specimen. It will be difficult to rely on the young man in the future.
- If a guy openly says that he has no feelings, you shouldn’t be humiliated. Making someone fall in love will not work. Therefore, it is better to leave the person alone.
- If a woman is married and does not intend to live separately from her husband, it is better to drive away thoughts about the guy she likes.
Motivation and first steps
I think the first part of the blog article has already made you move in the right direction, all that remains is to understand how to practically let go of the man you love, especially if he is not with you. According to media psychologist Labkovsky, this is an incorrectly posed question. It doesn't matter if you've been dumped or you, the action comes from the head. That is, the union physically ended, but the body was not prepared, so it breaks, it protests. Parting with a loved one is like depriving a drug addict of his dose. Therefore, you need to think not about how to forget Him, but how to overcome internal problems, sort out your head, and stop seeing a “dose” in another person.
At the same time, the psychologist notes that even the return of a loved one will not bring happiness, like a drug addict, and it will be both bad and good at the same time. As long as there is no self-love, there is no equal union, the partner will be a means of venting irritation with a hint of understanding that at any moment everything can end again. So you need not to cry over joint photographs, but to focus all your efforts on restoring your internal balance. Immediately after separation you must:
- analyze mistakes, rethink, ideally learn to meditate;
- prioritize yourself, your own feelings and emotions;
- spend your free time working on yourself;
- As a bonus, you can do something you’ve always only dreamed of.
How to replenish your internal resources
To restore your strength, you should look for an activity that will not explode your emotions, but fill them. Instead of fun parties and dancing in a club, it is better to prefer reading spiritual or psychological books. New information is perceived better when you are set to zero, when you are looking for your resource.
Photo by Andre Moura from Pexels
Places where a person can enjoy the beauty of nature, be in silence, and therefore hear oneself and one’s own desires help to replenish strength and energy. Art classes, for example, drawing, allow you not only to switch to a new type of activity, but also to throw out your emotions in a picture. This simultaneously brings joy and a feeling of fulfillment, something new, more life-giving and worthwhile.
Every person deserves to be happy and to be loved. Mistakes in relationships, failed marriages, these should be treated as experiences that should lead to more worthwhile and real connections.
He came back and then he left
The so-called vicious circle, when a man, in principle, does not want a relationship, he then disappears, but again wants to return everything. Moreover, his return usually occurs on a grand scale, with promises of eternal love, apologies on his knees, and flowers. And leaving can be either enchanting with a scandal, or quiet, without explanation. There can be several manifestations of such “love”:
- Abusive relationships. A man gets high by inflicting pain; he needs a surge of emotions, which he feeds on like a vampire. In such a union there will be no chubby babies, no lavish wedding, just a repetition of pain and momentary joy. You need to not just let such a person go, but hope that he never returns. And it will disappear only when it does not find a response and recharge.
- "Spare." In addition to inveterate abusers, there are also practical guys who leave an alternate airfield after breaking up. He met a new passion, but at the same time he is in no hurry to leave with all his socks. He can periodically write, call, and maybe drop by for the night. It is necessary to realize that love does not happen temporarily or on weekends. There is no need to wait for him to make up his mind, this is humiliating, he needs to be let go and forgotten.
- Owner. Another specimen who, even after a breakup, needs to know that there is no replacement for him. He does not love, does not care, but at the same time he is jealous, scandalous, literally strangling with total control. This kind of behavior should not be confused with love, it has nothing in common. Even if at first such treatment may be flattering, over time you will want to howl at night from the lack of personal space.
Why do women wait for a call?
Women unconsciously wait for a call from a man, since on Venus it is customary to show concern for those who are dear to you in this way. You just need to call a woman the day after the date, tell her that the date went great, show your sympathy, and everything changes for her. On Venus it is customary to call each other after a meeting.
On Venus, it is customary to call each other, thus showing attention and care, but a man needs to learn this.
From a woman's perspective, wanting to stay in touch shows that you truly care about this person. When two friends meet who haven't seen each other for months or years, the first thing they do is apologize for not calling or texting each other all this time. Men almost never do this. When two friends meet who have not seen each other for several months or several years, they are simply happy to meet. They won’t even think of apologizing for not making themselves known for so long. They act as if they just broke up yesterday. Women need time to get used to each other again.
The same can be said for married men and married women. Sometimes, when a husband returns from a week-long business trip, the first thing he wants to do is have sex with his wife, but this desire may seem incomprehensible to her. She may think: “How can this be? He immediately wants to have sex. We didn't see each other for several days and didn't even really talk. He doesn’t care what I feel right now.” A wife needs to get used to her husband again before she can feel attracted to him.
Men don't understand why women behave this way. Most often, men do not even know about the true motives of a woman’s behavior. When a man doesn't call a woman the day after a date, he sincerely believes that he is doing the right thing because he wants to make sure that the date went well. Intuition tells him that he needs to wait a little while calling so as not to look like a pathetic supplicant in the woman’s eyes. He feels that she will lose interest in him if he acts too persistently or intrusively.
Advice from men
All words are good in theory, so it’s more objective to take advice from real men. If the desire to renew the union is too great and there is no doubt that without it life will not be bright, then you should resort to behavioral rules and start your game upon the return of your loved one. So, what does the stronger sex advise:
- Look after yourself. A person of any gender longs to see a beautiful and neat appearance in front of him. If, after spending time together, manicure and gym were forgotten, it’s time to catch up. Even if he meets by chance, he sees the one he fell in love with at the first meeting.
- Confidence. Let's return to the discussion. If a woman loves herself, those around her love her. The gait, the look, the tone of voice, everything should scream that this is a self-sufficient and self-confident person.
- Common interests. Does he like chess? Go ahead to the game courses. Snowboard? It's time to go to the ski slopes. World of Tanks? It's probably enough to just stop hating this game.
- Self-development. At a general party, he must again understand that this is a developed personality, and not an armchair critic of TV series. Start reading, learning a new language, or learning the intricacies of cooking. The main thing is interest.
- No contact or surveillance. No calls or browsing social networks. No control. Also, don’t fill your feed with staged photos of a happy life. It’s better, on the contrary, to go online less often, let him get bored and perplexed.
- Patience. The wait could take months; don't rush his decision to return.
How does a woman behave when a man doesn't call?
This is how women usually reason when a man calls them only a long time after the date.
♦ I couldn’t believe my ears: he didn’t even apologize.
♦ When he called, there wasn’t even a note of regret in his voice.
♦ He spoke as if we had just broken up yesterday.
♦ He was so emotionless, he spoke as if everything was fine with him.
♦ I can’t believe it: he called me a month later and spoke as if everything was fine.
♦ I called him the day after the date, and he asked me why I was calling. It just pissed me off. I didn't call him again.
♦ When he finally called a week later, I was so upset. I tried to explain to him how I felt, but he didn't understand.
♦ He called and apologized for not calling for so long, but I could tell from his tone that he didn’t care. During all this time, he never bothered to find out what was happening to me.
♦ I can’t believe it: he just didn’t call me. I called him and told him everything I thought about it.
Judging by these examples, women are often irritated by the actions of men, which the men themselves consider completely normal. Partners who do not understand male or female psychology risk completely ruining their relationship if the man stops calling the woman altogether, and she becomes offended whenever the man does not call her.
When a man calls a woman after a long time, she either directly states her claims, or acts distinctly cold and distant. A man is surprised to notice that a beautiful, gentle and sensitive woman whom he once invited on a date has suddenly turned into a distrustful and irritable person, and these are precisely the qualities that scare away most men.
A man and a woman could have a nice chat on the phone, but instead they discover that there is no trace of their mutual sympathy left. And all this because the woman is irritated. The man feels that the woman is treating him dishonestly, and the woman is offended by him because she feels deceived.
When a man calls a woman and receives such an unfriendly reception, his interest in the woman begins to wane. If she's expecting a call from him because she wants him to reassure her that he's still thinking about her, then he needs to make sure he can please her.
If a woman is waiting for a call from him because she wants him to reassure her that he still thinks about her, then he needs to receive an encouraging message that he is capable of pleasing her.
It is obvious that partners who do not have sufficient knowledge about male and female psychology are capable, without meaning to, of destroying their relationship.
Results
In conclusion of everything written, it is important to understand one thing, even when in a couple and even more so after a breakup, you need to learn to let go of your loved one so that he feels dependent on emotional nourishment and returns in search of it. You cannot achieve a person through pity or threats. He may be nearby, but only physically and only until he finds an opportunity to escape. Respect yourself, accept without reserve, love, and then you won’t have to return anyone, since unnecessary people will leave, and you will be surrounded by those who deserve to be around.
Let's support in the comments those who are just learning to love themselves and not depend on others. Tell your story of love and the return of your loved one.
What to do to forget
How to stop being afraid of everything in the world
Sadness and pain after a breakup are normal reactions to loss. To stop suffering and start a full life without the man she loves, a girl needs to live through these negative emotions.
Reference! If a person is able to cope with difficult feelings, this indicates his emotional maturity.
Parting
If a woman decides to find out how to stop suffering for a beloved man who does not need her, then she has embarked on the path of “recovery.” In order for addiction to go away in the least painful way, it is necessary to take a comprehensive approach to the choice of methods of “treating” addiction.
Ways to stop suffering over your ex
There are many ways to get rid of love addiction. Psychologists recommend first of all paying attention to the following options:
- Negative emotions should not be suppressed. If you want to cry, you need to shed tears. If you feel like hitting a pillow or screaming, you need to allow yourself to let off steam.
- There is no need to hush up the problem. You can tell your friends or a psychologist about the “burden on your heart.” Talking to yourself helps a lot.
- After getting rid of negativity, you need to fill the “emptiness” with positive emotions. You can replenish the deficiency of serotonin (the hormone of happiness) with the help of interesting and varied activities: sports, dancing, travel. You should plan your day minute by minute so that there is no free time for worries, sad thoughts and figuring out why the guy left.
- It is necessary to throw away all things from the house or put them in the attic that remind you of your beloved.
- Psychologists advise using auto-training, which helps stop self-flagellation and increase self-esteem. It is enough to say the following phrases in front of the mirror every morning: “I am beautiful,” “I am successful,” “My friends love me,” “I am a good housewife.” You can come up with your own expressions.
- The best way to forget a man is to surround yourself with other representatives of the stronger sex. The more friendly communication you have with a variety of young people, the faster thoughts about your lover will fade into the background.
Circle 5
The second attack of anger comes suddenly.
We are trying to tear off a piece of the table, but our strength is clearly not enough.
Cursing our own weakness and the stupidity of our interlocutor, we finally decide to devote ourselves to serving the Lord and begin to look for Anger Management courses.
Checking Dialogues periodically, of course.
Lady Gaga stood out and instead of waiting, she went to the club and got drunk. This is exactly how the song “Telephone” appeared
Main danger
How old are you? Do you want to live longer and younger, full of energy in your body? You need to learn how to quickly change your thinking from negative to positive. Negative thoughts pump all the juices out of us and the stronger the negativity, the faster we become empty. I used to envy people who were not susceptible to negativity, I considered this a genetic feature of a person.
But delving into myself, I realized that negative thoughts are just our life experience, the environment taught us to think this way. Parents, relatives, the media, we absorbed all this since childhood. It’s good that there are tools to clear your negative emotions forever and acquire positive emotional states in their place, which will bring happiness and love into your life.
Exercise
Sit more comfortably or lie down on the bed, the main thing is not to fall asleep, relax all parts of the body in turn, just thinking about them and imagining how they relax from your attention. Relax your head, face, tongue. You should be completely relaxed, like a bag, but your head collected and clear.
Read more: How to start enjoying life?
Start imagining the man you are thinking about, just imagine, let your thoughts themselves lead you wherever they want, they will show everything that is important to know. Just watch what is happening like on TV, don’t make any efforts to direct the process, there’s no point.
Speak deep into yourself - “I take full responsibility for my thoughts, words and actions.” Strengthen your thought process, start thinking harder, eat it like my sister did with strawberries to the point of nausea, as described above. And I repeat once again, the more you think, the less you want.
Repeat this exercise as much as possible, if you are not a lazy person, then 2-3 days will be enough to extinguish the emotions in your heart and find peace and comfort in your soul.
Say a prayer
Prayer is an appeal somewhere higher with a request for help, you don’t have to be a believer to just pray for a person, just say that you wish only goodness and love for the man you are thinking about. Picture him happy in your thoughts, rejoice for his happiness, because true love does not mean being close to a person, true love can manifest itself in the desire to make another person happy.
This method is not suitable for girls who consider men their property, who believe that if there is a relationship, then he is mine forever and no football will separate them. Bad news for such girls, of course there are men who want to be the property of a girl, but the girl will not get happiness and pleasure from such a relationship. Think 10 times, do you need it?
I have a good example, a friend has a wife, they lived together, they didn’t bother, and she says that she went to her grandfather’s clairvoyant to persuade you to marry me. After my friend found out about this, he was very upset, he believes in all these things, so he believes that he was stabbed, and takes it too close to his heart.
Trust in the family has been greatly undermined, almost to the point of divorce, on the one hand the question is, what’s wrong with that? But on the other hand, they just took it and decided everything for the person.
Psychologists would NOT want you to know these secrets about yourself
—Imagine this situation...
What if, instead of paying for years for useless consultations with a psychologist, in 21 days you can work with yourself? Get rid of negative thoughts and states forever. And instead live a calm and happy life? Stop living in stress due to relationships or constant lack of money?
Tell me this is impossible?
I thought so too, until I started working with myself
LIVING HAPPY IS EASY
My name is Ivan, I am 35 years old, and I have been practicing psychology for 15 years. I have studied all the basic methods and techniques through which I help people find happiness. NLP, hypnosis, body-image therapy. I was invited on television as an expert.
And it was... just a nightmare!
I lived in a state of depression for 7 years (constant stress exhausted me). I had a lot of low self-confidence (my self-esteem was below 0). I could not calmly communicate with people, it seemed to me that I was not worthy of them.
The relationship did not work out (because I was very negative, jealous, a doormat). I’m generally silent about decent earnings; I earned 15,000 rubles a month and thought that was the limit. I didn’t want to live... Envy.
The worst thing is, I thought I would have to live like this forever, and I don’t deserve love and happiness.
But it only got worse, negative states fell on me like a snowball. It felt like I was sitting in a deep, black hole from which there was no way out. Hopelessness, despair, pain, resentment.
My life has turned into endless torture. But then a miracle happened...
I FOUND THE KEY... EVERYONE HAS IT...
One day my father came home from work, a little drunk, although he never drank much.
He came into the kitchen..., looked at me with a dissatisfied expression and began to say with anger how worthless I was, how I couldn’t do anything, and in general, how sorry he was that he was my father.
At first I felt severe mental pain (this is very painful to hear from my family). Then I got offended (does that mean I’m not a favorite son?!) And then an insight came to me...
I received that magical kick that I had been waiting for all my life. It changed my thinking, my life and my relationships with my environment.
I had already forgiven my father simply because he told me the truth and I was happy about it!
But then the most interesting thing began...
Literally 5 minutes later I was already sitting at the computer and writing out all the psychological (!) methods of working with myself.
I was even confused, because my plans were to continue to suffer all my life.
It was such an incredible feeling of freedom and desire to do something that I burst into tears of happiness.
THE MAIN SECRET OF HAPPINESS
If you think that you cannot change your life, become rich or successful, or create a happy relationship - you are mistaken!
You can change your life by changing your thinking and the main thing is to do it EASILY!
• 5 simple and powerful methods of working with yourself (they work even if you use them incorrectly) - You don’t have to turn to psychologists, you are your own psychologist.
• “The secret method” of working through any negative state. This will allow you to eliminate the negative and switch to the positive in 5 minutes.
• 15 minutes a day - Just 15 minutes a day to change your life 180 degrees. Become happier and more joyful.
• Saving up to 100,000 rubles in 1 year - You will save on trips to a psychologist, and spend the saved money on a vacation by the sea.
• 21 days – It only takes 21 days for you to see changes in your life. You will start smiling. Wake up with joy.
DOWNLOAD THE “GUIDE TO CHANGING YOURSELF” FOR FREE
For 7 days, access to the “Guide to Changing Yourself” will be free, everyone can download it from Telegram using the button below.
PS If you want to say “thank you” to me, just download the guide and start using it every day.
PPS How about becoming happy today? =)
Why do you need it?
There is an old proven method: take a sheet of paper and write in a column the positive and negative qualities of a man. Describe everything honestly, how a judge at a meeting cannot decide according to his heart, he needs evidence and proof, so you too be honest with yourself.
What happens is that if there are more minuses, then everything is obvious and your psyche will soon decide to give up thoughts about a man and go over to the side of “Good”, doing everything good for you.
If there are more advantages, then try to think, do other people have all these qualities? Is it possible to meet an even better person with the same characteristics? I understand perfectly well that you cannot order your heart, but you can re-realize all this and make a decision in favor of your emotional peace.
Gather a women's council
If you have the opportunity to share your thoughts with your friends, do it, grab some wine and just talk about this topic, it’s very useful to speak out and share with others in order to take the burden off your shoulders and find peace in your soul.
But it happens that it is better not to talk about your thoughts, a mirror will help here, speak it all out in the mirror, turning to yourself. And then I remembered another useful exercise that will help you. Read below
Exercise No. 2
Take your phone and write down all the thoughts you think about a person, completely free of expression and in detail. Then watch the video, then watch it again and again until you get bored and let go of all the words you said on camera.
You can do the same with a voice recorder, record your speech and listen and listen to it until you get completely tired and feel nauseous.
The exercise is useful for looking at yourself from the outside, bringing all thoughts and emotions to the surface. When you listen to your thoughts from a recording, you will think that a completely different person is speaking and you will begin to perceive in a completely different way.
Exercise No. 3
Say out loud everything you see. You walk down the street and whisper to yourself all the thoughts that are in your head. Pour the full stream of consciousness outward, this will stop all your internal dialogue, and you will be able to take a sober look at the whole situation as a whole.
Read more: How to find a purpose in life?
From the outside, of course, it looks strange, but try to do it secretly so that no one sees you. This is how I stopped my internal conversation when I was afraid to approach girls on the street.
Why do you think about a man, and why is it stressful?
I'm looking for 5 girls, addicted to a man, who want to dot the I's and let go of the relationship
Are you worried about your relationship...
All your thoughts are only about a man and you can’t even sleep...
Are you tired of all this and want to move on...
