The world rests on fools. This axiom is known to everyone who takes advantage of people's gullibility and kindness. As a rule, within every person there lives that same child who believes in goodness, honesty and devotion to the last. Unfortunately, life practice shows that the modern world is more often cruel to gullible people. It's time to learn how to stop being naive if it gets in the way in life.
Trust is sometimes unnecessary
Surely in the life of every person it happened that excessive gullibility played a cruel joke on him. The worst thing is that this quality often affects not only the psycho-emotional state. Advertising mailings promising gifts and reduced prices, dubious services - all this can end disastrously for the family budget. If you have experienced first-hand what excessive gullibility is, it’s time to learn how to stop being naive.
There are many ways to cultivate rational thinking. First of all, you should not go to extremes. If you understand that your gullibility and kindness directly harms you, you should not look at this situation categorically. You have to believe, but not everyone and not always.
Critical thinking
In order not to be too gullible, you should objectively assess what is happening.
Use your critical thinking and trust only verified facts. Learn to analyze what is happening, and not live only by feelings. After all, in the future it will be easier for you to go through life. Read detective stories, play logic games, solve riddles. All this will help develop your analytical skills. In practice, before you trust a person, think about whether there are any obvious inconsistencies in his behavior or words and the circumstances of the current situation, and whether this individual may have some hidden motives.
Don't rush to make hasty decisions
If you don’t know how to stop being naive, then first you should learn to take your time. This is especially true when making important decisions. For example, if a sales manager persistently asks you to make a decision right then and there, take your time. Because most often unscrupulous people use this method for their own purposes. Pay attention to your conversational style and safe words. For example, they convince you that such a wonderful opportunity will not exist later. This is an obvious sign that they are trying to deceive you. Remember:
- Don't agree to something simply because you don't know how to say no.
- Only after you are finally convinced of the person’s pure intentions, make a decision. Otherwise you will look naive.
- Be especially wary of people who rush you into making a decision.
If it’s a little easier with swindlers and swindlers, things are much more complicated in relationships with people. How to stop being naive with the opposite sex? This question is often asked by girls who have been disappointed in men more than once.
Exercise: How to Stop Being Kind
Write on a piece of paper 5 situations in which you acted like a kind person, but experienced discomfort. For example, you once again agreed to come to your friend and babysit her son, although you wanted to relax at home, and in general this boy annoys you. Now write what you would like to do: stay at home and read a book.
Great, now you know what to do next time to avoid discomfort. It's time to work with fear. You are afraid to refuse your friend and seem heartless and bad. Therefore, write what the worst thing can happen if you refuse her next time: she will be offended, quarrel with you, stop communicating with you and tell everyone what a cruel person you are.
Now think, will you be able to continue living if this happens? Do you even need people around you who react this way to your refusal? Your friend's reaction will show you how much she respects you and shed light on where you stand in the relationship.
Analyze each situation this way. Are your fears real and are you so afraid of them that you are willing to endure constant discomfort for the sake of others?
Two more effective techniques are described in this video:
Skeptical mood
This is a skill that will allow you to protect yourself from unscrupulous people. You should learn to criticize all information coming from outside. For example, if an older brother says that he saw his friend’s phone, which he bought for pennies, you should make sure of this, but not take his word for it.
At the same time, you should prepare for a negative reaction. After all, people are accustomed to considering you gullible, so they will begin to be offended if you stop trusting them. Every time you are told new information, maintain a grain of salt. This will protect you from future disappointment.
A short introduction
First you need to figure out why a person stops trusting other people. In fact, every negative experience experienced in the past leaves a serious imprint not only on the soul, but also on the heart. Most often, mistrust arises due to the experienced betrayal of a loved one, the deception of a friend or comrade. In most cases, past problems in relationships with people can seriously harm a person in the future.
Many of us have at least once heard the following phrase from someone: “I don’t trust people.” But why does this happen? Is a lack of trust in other people a serious barrier to living a fulfilling and happy life? Unfortunately, yes, but this problem can be dealt with.
Is it really that bad?
Naivety and gullibility are not such bad character traits, and you should understand this. There are quite a few positives here. For example, strong friendship is impossible without trust. A person is more willing to help if he trusts his partner. It's the same in business. It is difficult to build a joint business without trust. It is impossible to achieve success by constantly suspecting your partner and looking for his weak points. In this case, the question of how to stop being a naive person disappears by itself.
In a love relationship, you cannot build a family without trust. Girls who are repeatedly burned by the flames of love cease to believe even in the most sincere intentions. Strong families are a union of two people whose relationships are built on trust in each other.
Therefore, we can say that reasonable gullibility and naivety are positive character traits that help build meaningful relationships. Nevertheless, quite often the question arises of how to stop being a gullible and naive person.
What is naivety?
Naivety is the inability of an individual to evaluate surrounding events from a critical point of view, the inability to correctly interpret the motives of people’s behavior and the cause-and-effect relationships of emerging events.
In simple words, naivety is a view of the world “through rose-colored glasses.” Naive people are characterized by an almost childlike gullibility towards others and extreme openness, which they show even to strangers they meet for the first time. Such a person sincerely believes in the decency of all inhabitants of the Earth without exception, considers them good and friendly, and therefore incapable of meanness and lies. Naivety is inherent in people from the moment they are born. In early childhood, this quality is natural for a person, because in childhood it is the most important tool for the socialization of a child in society, for children to acquire new knowledge and skills. However, after about seven years, naivety becomes an unnecessary and even inappropriate personal quality, and if it persists as a character trait in an adult, it only causes him problems. For this reason, children's naivety is considered a true quality, but adults' naivety is considered a problematic phenomenon. Now let’s look at examples of naivety, understand the reasons for its occurrence, negative consequences and ways to get rid of naivety.
Alternative option
First of all, it is necessary to understand whether there really is excessive gullibility. It's not difficult to do this at all. It is enough just to analyze the last problem and draw a conclusion as a result of which it was formed. If you lost your business due to betrayal, were deceived again due to excessive naivety, or again bought an absolutely unnecessary thing just because “His Majesty Chance” chose you, it’s time to start working on yourself. After all, it is obvious that in this case it is naivety that plays bad jokes.
You shouldn’t categorically refuse to communicate with everyone. You can communicate, make friends, start romances and build a business, but you need to do this with extreme caution, carefully checking the words and actions of your partners. Sometimes just the realization that you can be deceived is enough to stop being kind and naive. Alternatively, healthy criticism. It is appropriate always and everywhere.
Reasons for development
Among the reasons for the development of obsessive-compulsive neurosis are usually cited stressful situations and overwork, but obsessive-compulsive disorder does not occur in all people who find themselves in a difficult life situation. What actually provokes the development of obsessive states has not yet been precisely established, but there are several hypotheses regarding the occurrence of OCD:
- Hereditary and genetic factors. Researchers have identified a pattern between the tendency to develop obsessive-compulsive disorder neurosis and unfavorable heredity. Approximately every fifth patient with OCD has relatives with mental disorders. The risk of developing this pathology increases in persons whose parents abused alcoholic beverages, suffered from a tuberculous form of meningitis, and also suffered from migraine attacks or epilepsy. In addition, obsessive-compulsive disorder may occur due to genetic mutations.
- A fairly large number of people (approximately 75%) suffering from obsessive-compulsive neurosis have other mental illnesses. The most likely accompaniments of OCD include bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety neurosis, phobias and obsessive fears, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and eating disorders.
- Anatomical features can also provoke obsessive-compulsive neurosis. Biological reasons also include a malfunction in some parts of the brain and the autonomic nervous system. Scientists have drawn attention to the fact that in most cases, with obsessive-compulsive neurosis, there is a pathological inertia in the excitation of the nervous system, accompanied by lability in the inhibition of ongoing processes. OCD can occur against the background of various dysfunctions of the neurotransmitter system. Neurotic level disorders arise due to a failure in the production and metabolism of gamma-aminobutyric acid, serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine. There is also a version about the relationship between the development of obsessive-compulsive disorder neurosis and streptococcal infection. People who have had this infection have antibodies in their bodies that destroy not only harmful bacteria, but also the body’s own tissues (PANDAS syndrome). As a result of these processes, the tissues of the basal ganglia can be damaged, which can lead to the development of OCD.
- Constitutional-typological factors include special character traits (anancaste). Most patients are prone to constant doubts and are very cautious and cautious. Such people are very concerned about the details of what is happening, they are prone to perfectionism. Ananscasts are conscientious and very diligent people who strive to scrupulously fulfill their obligations, but the desire for perfection very often prevents them from completing the work they have started on time. The desire to achieve high results at work does not allow for the establishment of full-fledged friendships, and also greatly interferes with personal life. In addition, people with this type of character are very stubborn; they almost never compromise.
Treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder should begin with identifying the causes of the disorder. Only after this will a treatment regimen be drawn up and, if necessary, medication prescribed.
Practical recommendations
You can talk for a long time about how to stop being naive and gullible. Psychology is a very subtle science that provides answers to many questions. And here are just a few practical tips that you can use in life:
- Don't rush to conclusions. Very often, rash decisions change life not for the better. It was not for nothing that our ancestors advised measuring 7 times before cutting. This rule still applies today.
- Don't believe what sounds too good. If a stranger offers you a meeting right here and now just because he drowned in your eyes, don’t believe him. If a consultant says that this set of dishes usually costs twice as much, but today the stars have miraculously aligned and you simply have to buy another piece of junk - don’t believe it.
- Don't rely on the majority opinion. Those who want to take advantage of your gullibility will certainly not miss this chance. They will say that almost all of your colleagues bought this same set of pots. Those who did not have time to purchase asked to place an individual order. Only you are left. And it’s not at all clear how you can live without this wonderful tableware, which in the next few years will take pride of place on the mezzanine.
Trust helps build relationships. But obvious naivety seriously spoils and poisons life. Don't let anyone take advantage of these qualities of your character. As they say, trust, but verify.
FAQ
How to trust people if a person has previously experienced a serious negative experience? Most importantly, you don't need to constantly think about your past. Everything bad has already happened, for example, my husband left the family, my friend betrayed me, my colleague set me up at work and my boss fired me. However, this does not mean that the girl will not be able to get married again and become happy, find a new job and make friends with another, more decent person. Therefore, in order to get rid of mistrust of other people, you do not need to constantly remember the negative past and dwell on bad experiences. After all, after a black streak in life there always comes a white one.
Can you trust people who have already betrayed you once? Not only men, but also women often turn to specialists with this question. So, psychologists believe that everything depends on the specific situation. Although it is hardly possible to justify betrayal. However, if a person sincerely repents and asks for forgiveness for his actions, then another can forgive him, although he is not obliged to do so. Nevertheless, it is unlikely that it will be possible to regain trust in a person here. After all, whoever betrayed once can betray a second time. Don't forget about this.
Anxiety disorders reduce quality of life
Maria Leibovich, psychiatrist, psychotherapist of the highest category
Maria Leibovich
Anxiety disorders are a fairly wide range of diseases; according to various sources, the prevalence ranges from 5% for generalized anxiety disorder to 25% for all diseases in this category.
The “danger” depends on the severity of the manifestations: someone lives their whole life with an isolated phobia (aerophobia, social phobia), and someone, six months to a year after the appearance of the first symptoms, no longer leaves the house due to a large number of fears and a high level of anxiety . Of course, anxiety disorders reduce the quality of life and lead to social losses, limiting the possibilities of patients. I believe that these are the most reliable criteria for the need to contact a specialist.
Indeed, there is an opinion that times have their own “psychopathological overtones”
At the beginning of the 19th century, the term “hysteria” appeared, many of these disorders were identified, they were discussed, researched, and a lot was written about them. In the 20th century, hysteria was replaced by a new “popular” word - depression, and the 21st century was marked by an increase in identification and increased attention to anxiety disorders.
The “popularity” of a particular disease is influenced by awareness, availability of information, skills in identifying the disorder, and leading scientific trends of the time. It is likely that the pace of life, high information load, and the cult of “success” also contribute to the growth of anxiety disorders at present.
