Tolerance: what is it, pros and cons

Our differences from each other are part of life. And, whether we like it or not, there is no escape from it. What makes us different from each other characterizes our personality and, in essence, is our uniqueness. We are different, we have different financial status, hobbies, political views, tastes and preferences. However, despite all the differences, we also have something in common. For example, the society in which you and I live, and humanity.

When fear or contempt for others arises, discrimination and intolerance appear (you will learn more about discrimination and its types in the article “Problematic relationships: harassment, abuse and bullying. What to do about it?”). Or you can also call it lack of tolerance. What is tolerance and what can be done to increase it, you will find out below.

What is tolerance?

Tolerance is a calm and tolerant perception of other people's traditions, rules and norms of behavior. A tolerant attitude does not imply that you need to share someone else’s worldview and live by someone else’s rules. No one should sacrifice their principles. Tolerance only implies that all people are equal and can live the way they want (of course, as long as it does not violate anyone's rights).

The term comes from the Latin word "tolerantia". It is translated into Russian as “tolerance”, which for many sounds very ambiguous. Indeed, the very word “tolerance” has a negative connotation. Its meaning actually boils down to the fact that “there is something that does not suit us, but we tolerate it.” Since this is clearly not what this term should imply, in Russian the word “tolerance” should be used in its original form, and not translated.

Today, a tolerant attitude is most often spoken of in the context of the inadmissibility of discrimination on grounds such as gender, nationality and sexual orientation. In Russia the situation in this regard is ambiguous. There are practically no problems with discrimination based on gender and nationality, but people with non-traditional sexual orientation regularly face hostility.

Why is it so important to talk about this with children?

In 2004, an incident that was striking in its cruelty occurred in St. Petersburg. A native of Tajikistan was returning from the skating rink with his 8-year-old daughter and nephew. Suddenly a group of armed teenagers jumped out at them shouting “Russia is for the Russians!” started beating the family. As a result, the man received a closed head injury, his nephew received knife wounds, and the girl could not be saved - she died from loss of blood.

This story is far from isolated. Hatred towards representatives of other nationalities begins almost from kindergarten, when migrant children are mocked not only by children, but also by teachers.

The same atmosphere reigns in schools: Tajik and Uzbek schoolchildren are subject to bullying and violence, especially if they have language problems and difficulties with adaptation.

This is evidenced by data from a sociological study conducted in September 2022 among students of Russian schools. 33.6% of respondents confirmed that they faced humiliation and ridicule from classmates because of their national characteristics.

Our children do not live in a vacuum. They, like sponges, absorb all views, attitudes and moods in society. And they don't become violent on their own. They are driven to this by the indifference of their parents, uncontrolled access to information in the media that traumatizes children’s psyches, and ignorance of cases of bullying at school. According to a 2022 study of students aged 11 to 17, 72% of respondents reported incidents of bullying to teachers and other adults, but the situation was never resolved.

All this awakens aggression and intolerance in children, which can subsequently develop into racism and nationalism.

Therefore, the task of parents is not just to tell their children about the existence of racial, religious and national differences between people, but also to teach them to accept and respect them.

Find out if your child is being bullied by peers or other adults when you are not around! Listen to what is happening around, see where the child is and call in any situation with the “Where are my children” application.

Tolerance in psychology

In psychology, the term tolerance refers to the absence of an emotional or behavioral reaction to a certain unfavorable factor. It is important not to confuse it with adaptation, which manifests itself in finding a way to interact that minimizes the negative impact. Tolerance does not manifest itself in adjusting the response, but in a significant reduction in the response threshold.

For example, different people react differently to raising their voice in communication. Some people are not ready to tolerate being shouted at. And someone is completely indifferent to the scream and does not react to it in any way. In this case, they speak of tolerance to this stimulus. It can be formed both unconsciously and consciously if a person understands that it is important for him to adapt to certain living conditions.

Basic principles

If you think about the question of what a tolerant person means, you can come to the conclusion: such a concept includes a number of qualities. In addition, you can show tolerance in completely different areas of life.

For example, politics. This is a particularly important part where tolerance must be constant. Respect and acceptance of other points of view in government, tolerance towards people with different political views. But even here it is very difficult to achieve mutual understanding. Conflict situations on this basis can flare up among friends and family. And if you are unable to accept the choice of another person, then it is best to stop such conversations as soon as they begin.

Tolerance is also necessary in science. Today, there are various theories and assumptions, everyone chooses what to believe. However, this is not a reason to ridicule and condemn others for their different view of the world.

The manifestation of this quality is indispensable for people who occupy leadership positions. They must be open-minded and ready for constructive dialogue. The ability to find common interests will help inspire the team to new achievements.

In order to understand how to raise a tolerant person, it is necessary to study in detail the entire breadth of this quality.

Types of tolerance

This term has many meanings in different fields of knowledge. But today we consider tolerance only in a social context. In this direction, the following types of tolerance can be distinguished:

Political
. Implies respect for people who hold different political views.
Pedagogical
. Respectful attitude towards people, regardless of their education and level of intelligence.
Age
. It is unacceptable to judge a person’s abilities and other qualities based on his age.
Religious
. Inadmissibility of infringement of people holding other religious views.
Gender
. All people, regardless of gender, should have equal rights and opportunities.
Physiological
. Each person is full-fledged, regardless of physical abilities and limitations.

conclusions

From everything said above, it is clear what tolerance is and what the meaning of the word is. A tolerant person does not have any narrow definitions. These are psychological, moral, ethical standards. This quality is inherent in everyone from birth, but can be lost. A warm, respectful atmosphere in the family is the basis on which further education is built.

For the world to acquire new shades for us, to sparkle with all the colors of the rainbow, we need to open our mind and soul, we need to believe in ourselves and in others.

Why is tolerance needed?

In the 21st century, the life of mankind has changed dramatically. Today the world is open as never before, and every year it becomes even more open. Tolerance is necessary in order to improve mutual understanding between different nations, strengthen mutually beneficial cooperation between countries and further accelerate the development of humanity.

Understanding that all people have the right to their own worldview will help avoid serious conflicts in the future. However, no one is obliged to tolerate views, ideas and actions that pose a clear threat to other people. The essence of a tolerant society is to ensure maximum equality and complete security for everyone. Therefore, contrary to the fears of various critics, tolerance does not imply a tolerant attitude towards various manifestations of evil.

General information

Tolerance is the correct attitude towards the behavior, worldview and opinions of other people. This definition is often compared to tolerance, patience and acceptance. A tolerant person is an individual who has moral and spiritual qualities and values. An example of a situation of reverse tolerance is a case when a child tries to defend personal interests, not caring about the opinions of other people, and uses force in an attempt to resolve conflicts.

For example, the attitude towards the way of life of a certain tribe from Africa will be tolerant, taking into account the people’s refusal to civilization. But one cannot be tolerant of the cannibalism that flourishes among them. Tolerance is a benevolent attitude aimed at a certain phenomenon, if it does not contradict universal morality.

The moral development of an entire society and its culture depend on the tolerance of an individual.

There are adherents of tolerance, and there are also those who see this concept as negative.

The positive aspects of this phenomenon include:

overcoming xenophobia contributes to the development of communication skills;
the individual acquires humanity, learns to understand other members of society;
enhancing personal growth and social development;
helps to relate correctly to other individuals and understand their views.

Positive examples include:

option with religious tolerance, for example, when a Christian communicates with a Muslim, the interlocutors listen to everyone’s opinion;
communication between people with different political views, when they do not try to instill their own point of view in the interlocutor, are ready to admit that he is right.

What is noteworthy is that the more cultured a person is, the higher his tolerance is observed.

People who see the negative sides of tolerance consider the following points:

in the world of modern technology, real values are replaced by false ones;
an individual can keep his distance from people who have different views;
at present, the problems are not being solved; instead, hypocrisy and respect for the rights of other cultures, nations, and religions are demonstratively declaimed;
destruction of the traditional way of life, substitution of the meaning of tolerance;
some individuals use tolerance to manipulate human consciousness;
The line between tolerance and slavish patience, which is detrimental to the human personality, is very thin.

A negative manifestation of tolerance is the resettlement of people from uncivilized countries to highly developed cities of Europe. They came with low values, with their own views. They demand that they be treated with tolerance, while they do not at all perceive the values and traditions of the country in which they live.

The benefits of tolerance

Since not all people correctly understand what tolerance is and what benefits it can provide to modern society, we list the most important of them:

maintaining humanity in human relations;
avoidance of military conflicts (almost all wars of the 20th and 21st centuries took place on the basis of national or religious intolerance);
the opportunity to share experience and knowledge with people around the world;
equal opportunities for every person, regardless of social status and other factors;
the opportunity to travel the world without fear of encountering hostility or even aggression;
joint work of people all over the world to solve global problems (development of humanity, fight against diseases, search for energy sources, etc.).

An important advantage is your own mental balance. Tolerance is a calm attitude towards others. Consequently, a tolerant person always has fewer reasons to worry. He never gets nervous about misunderstandings with other people, because he knows very well that every person has the right to their own views and, of course, the right to make mistakes.

How to be tolerant

If your problem is in the classical concept of tolerance, that is, you do not know how to recognize the rights of other people to life, faith, style of music, nation, and so on, then here are some tips on how to be tolerant:

Tolerance is formed as a habit. The more often we are exposed to something and react in the same way to the stimulus, the stronger this stereotype of behavior is fixed in our consciousness, and then in the subconscious.
In each person, upon detailed analysis, traces of many races can be found. These tests, of course, are expensive, but as an alternative you can find books, articles, and videos on this topic. Genes, nationalities, races and nations are so mixed that it is impossible to find a 100% Russian person or a Turk, a German, a Ukrainian. Start with yourself.
Realize that tolerance is for you, not someone else. It provides a psychologically comfortable life. You cannot change the whole world the way you need it. So isn’t it easier for your own mental well-being to accept the characteristics of other people?
Would our world be the same if all people were the same? No. The people who create history are unique. Among them are many people with special health needs (Stephen Hawking, Ludwig van Beethoven, Alexey Maresyev) or from different nations (the famous and unsurpassed teacher Shalva Amonashvili). We can talk endlessly about countries and nations. For example, many foreign theories formed the basis of domestic psychology. Science, and therefore life, does not have the concept of “ours” and “yours”. There is a concept of general progress, consciousness, experience, culture. Start studying literature, especially scientific publications and history. Recognize the value of a “diverse” society.
Develop empathy. It is she who helps to understand other people, to stand in their place, to compare oneself with them.
The growth of tolerance is facilitated by personal communication with other people, living in another country, and working in a team. The most difficult thing is to force yourself to join such groups, meet other people, earn their favor and positively establish yourself. At first you will have to rely only on moral tolerance and self-regulation, but the more time you spend in conditions of the unknown and incomprehensible, the easier it will be to succeed, and tolerance will smoothly move to the moral level.
It is possible that you simply do not know how to communicate with people and are guilty of selfishness. Then you need to fight it.
Get rid of stereotypes and prejudices. Receive and process information about other people yourself. Our level of tolerance is determined by our family upbringing and the environment in which we grew up. If, as adults, we notice a hole in this place, then we have to start all over again through self-education.
Don't criticize, but be interested. Make it a rule not to judge without understanding, without asking the question “why?”
Acceptance of others begins with self-acceptance. Perhaps you were not accepted as a child, and as an adult you cannot accept yourself.

So, a tolerant person:

Knows himself, adequately evaluates himself and the people around him, his strengths and weaknesses, knows how to recognize them, accept them, and, if necessary, correct them.
Thinks positively and is confident in his own abilities. Knows that he can cope with any difficulties.
Bears responsibility for his life, actions and their consequences. Does not shift responsibility to other people or circumstances.
Strives for self-realization in work, society, creativity, that is, all aspects of life.
Has a developed sense of humor and self-irony.

While a person who is not distinguished by tolerance:

He sees advantages in himself, and only disadvantages in others. Blames people for this.
Anxious, unsure of himself. Constantly remains in a feeling of fear, afraid of himself, the world, the environment (although he does not always realize or admit this).
Transfers responsibility for failures.
Lack of initiative, passive, does not strive for self-realization.
Reacts painfully to jokes, especially directed at himself. He uses black humor himself.

It is obvious that it is possible to achieve tolerance only through self-knowledge and self-development, as well as through active practical interaction with the world.

Disadvantages of Tolerance

Like any idea, tolerance is not without its weaknesses. In particular, a tolerant society often finds itself vulnerable to certain forms of evil. Appeals to tolerance can be used as a tool for manipulation. For fear of appearing intolerant, people are often forced to make certain concessions, and there will always be those who can take advantage of this.

A serious problem with tolerance is that it is difficult to find the line after which one can say that someone is abusing trust and a tolerant attitude. And it is impossible in principle to solve this problem. There will always be those who take advantage of this for selfish purposes, and those who use such “gaps” as a reason to criticize the fundamental ideas of tolerance.

The main drawback of tolerance today is how this important idea has been distorted by its supporters. Ridiculous and inappropriate propaganda of a tolerant attitude leads to a completely opposite effect. Because of this, many people today misunderstand the meaning of the word “tolerance,” thinking that it is a banal imposition of other people’s values on everyone. I can’t help but remember the saying: “Make a fool pray to God, he’ll bruise his forehead.”