Why do ex-men come back after a breakup?

We are often asked why men come back. Most often, men return after they end a relationship. Your behavior will be a factor in your return. Emotions and tensions run high after a breakup. As a rule, it is during this period that women make most of the mistakes that repel men... Let's figure out why men return to their wife, to their girlfriend, and how you can restore the relationship.

There is a secret bonus video waiting for you at the end of the article.

Intimacy

For some, sex is one of the components of a relationship, but for others, it is the most important component. And some men return to their former partners solely because they have not found another girl with whom it would be just as good in bed. If for some women a union built purely on sexual relations is unacceptable, then for others it is more than satisfactory. For some, an emotional connection is important, but for others, male libido and the ability to use it to their advantage are enough to be happy.

What to do if your ex-husband returns

The main thing is not to show your interest in a man. Cold indifference in such a situation is the best thing you can do. Don’t agree to a personal meeting, he must understand that you no longer need it. The meeting will mean that you have something to say and it doesn’t matter how you present it. Leave the fire of his ego without wood.

Usually, after parting with a woman, a husband or lover quickly calms down. He is sure that he is a male, that he is happiness for any free woman, and as soon as he becomes free, the best representatives of the fairer sex will begin to fight for him. There is simply no point for him to suffer over lost love, because there is a bright future ahead and single women awaiting his freedom.

Here's how to increase your chances...

Now is the time to address the issues that led to the breakup. And focus on becoming a new and improved version of yourself. When men come back, they see something they want to be around.

So, although things are quite difficult right now, you must remember that you are in control of your life and your happiness. Start thinking about what you can do to become happier. Which friends and family members could you spend more time with? What hobbies fell by the wayside while you were in a relationship?

Think about what new activities you can try now. Focus on physical activities such as yoga, Nordic walking, squats, running, etc. Physical activity can be a great help when you are feeling depressed and/or frustrated. This helps clear your head and release endorphins. On top of that, it boosts your energy. So you feel more motivated to do things that benefit you!

Plus, it will boost your self-confidence. Because you will take care of yourself.

This is the best thing you can do when wondering: “Will a man come back to me after a breakup?”

In addition to this, there is another tool that can work wonders in your situation...

Why does your ex want to come back?

Every man who wants to reunite with his former passion has certain goals. Psychologists identify several main reasons that encourage exes to return:

1. He realizes that he made a mistake. Sometimes people make rash decisions, driven by emotions, and then regret their actions. Representatives of the stronger sex with high moral qualities most often return to ex-girlfriends. They believe that the chosen one will have a difficult time without him, and her life will become worse.
2. He was tired of loneliness. Having been a bachelor, the guy notes that delicious food does not appear on the table, the house is not cleaned on its own, and shirts are not washed or ironed. Being lonely, a man is forced to solve all everyday problems on his own. If the couple shared all expenses in half, then the desire to return may be due to commercialism.
3. Disappointment in other women. Some men are accustomed to seeing certain qualities in their life partner that they expect from new passions. However, not every woman wants to be a cook, mistress and cleaner all rolled into one. As a result, a person begins to suffer from a lack of attention and care. Therefore, guys often express a desire to return to their former passions.

1. A sense of ownership. In such a situation, even after breaking up, they continue to monitor the lives of their exes, because they do not want to put up with the loss of power. Realizing that the girl in whom he invested his time and resources may end up in the arms of another, the man returns.
2. If he quit on his own. Men rarely return to women they leave themselves. But if the girl who initiated the breakup beckons, then in almost all cases they return, despite the fact that they may have a new relationship.

1. We have common children. Many women wonder whether their ex-husband will return. If they have children, then this is a common story of husbands returning to their wives. However, without feelings for a woman, children cannot always become a decisive factor in the return of a spouse to the family.
2. Emotional pressure. There is a category of girls who can achieve anything they want with their tears. They begin to put moral pressure on their boyfriend, acting through his friends, relatives and acquaintances.
3. He managed to compare. The young man sees some shortcomings in his chosen one, and therefore decides to break up with her. But having started a relationship with another girl, he becomes convinced that his previous passion was much better. However, this does not always mean that the relationship can end with a happy ending. If on his life's path he meets a girl who meets his ideals, he will go to her.
4. Real love. It’s hard for people together, but bad for people apart. And the lovers once again quarreled and decided to separate. They start a new relationship, but at one point they break off all ties with new passions and return to their exes. This can only be explained by true love.

He wants to start over

Relationships with your ex are like relationships with an old frying pan.

You see a new and beautiful one on the display case - with a non-stick coating and a heat-resistant handle, but you pass by. Because eggs are fried easier and tastier on an old lady.

Also with men, you have two options: create and develop in a new relationship with a new man or get stuck in those that are simpler and more familiar, with the same one.

Honey, everything connected to the past takes energy to create the present. Think about it!

Why men come back after a breakup - men's opinion

Initially, it all comes down to the fact that they are interested in how his former passion lives. And if there is nothing interesting in her life, then he may not appear in her life soon.

And if her personal life has improved or career growth has occurred, this arouses interest and indignation at the same time that he did not become a participant in such cardinal events in her life.

Why exes come back

It’s very simple - all decisions must be made with a cool head. Emotions are not the best advisors in such situations. That is why psychologists unanimously advise, upon learning about your husband’s infidelity, the first thing to do is:

• take a time out
• think and weigh
• and only after that decide what you should do.

In cases of separation, advice like “Follow the first call of your soul!” does not work. If I followed the first call of my soul, all my exes would be in local traumatology. Thinking is very useful! This is a wonderful skill to teach your daughters. Before you say or even do anything, think!

So, when emotions subside, reason comes first. And the exes too. And the former, who until recently was relevant, realizes that due to his own stupidity he lost:

Reasons for leaving

Firstly, it is necessary to talk about the reasons that prompted the man to make such a decision. They are usually similar for many:

• found myself another;
• he was never really in love;
• tired of everyday life;
• you cost him too much;
• your friends or parents scare him;
• realized that it was with this woman that he felt uncomfortable;
• the passion disappeared, the spark died out.

The woman, having calmed down after the hysteria and tears, begins, reasoning sensibly, to blame herself, which means she did something wrong. Then she tries to scroll through her head about ways to get her lover back, and there are no limits to her imagination.

Do exes come back?

Sometimes it happens that a man and a woman break up. Often the initiator of a break is the stronger sex. It's easier for him to deal with it. A woman needs more time and effort to get back on track.

There are frequent cases when she already forgets her beloved, he appears on the horizon. Many sexologists claim that this happens due to a sense of ownership and hunter instincts. This happens if he has not met a new love or is disappointed with her.

Why do exes come back? Psychology

Psychologists have identified several reasons why exes come back when you are no longer expecting them.

1. Lack of a new passion. A person needs love. The monotony in a relationship bores both partners, but due to their natural selfishness, they can simply turn around and leave. But why do men return to their exes? This behavior consists of the following: he took a walk, compared, and realized that he was in a hurry with the breakup.
2. A sense of ownership. The appearance of a gentleman and the resulting jealousy is the motive for the return.
3. Experiment. He leaves, then returns, again provoking a break. He wonders if she will accept him again.
4. Naivety. Having lived his life with one woman, an aging womanizer meets a young nymph, to whom he leaves his faithful life partner. He is convinced that his young partner is interested in his intelligence, potency, appearance, but not his finances. When he understands how things are, he returns to his abandoned wife.
5. Sex. Male psychology has proven that sex in marriage comes first for the husband. If you don't get what you want, a break occurs. He satisfies sexual needs on the side and calmly returns. Sometimes the wife doesn’t even know about the man’s infidelity.
6. Call of Duty. The abandoned woman begins to have psychological and financial problems, and he returns.
7. Love for children. The children ask dad to return to the family.
8. Yearning. They return to their abandoned passion because they begin to yearn for their wife and their life together.
9. Appearance. The beloved ceases to suit her externally. When she finds the reason for leaving and puts herself in order, he returns.
10. Love. Parting gives him a chance to realize that he loves this particular woman and life without her is not sweet.

Why do husbands return to their ex-wives?

Why do men return to their ex-wives? Why ex-husbands return, the psychology is that after a divorce he may begin to miss his wife and wants to return. In such cases, husbands seek reunification if:

1. He is guilty and wants to be forgiven.
2. Wants to prove his importance to his wife.
3. He loves his wife very much.
4. They miss their children.

Here are the reasons why ex-husbands return to the family.

Why ex-men come back

Those who come back are those who realized that without their beloved it is bad. Some men need time to understand that their abandoned lover is dear to him. Therefore, psychologists recommend not to rush, but to give him the opportunity to sort out his feelings himself.

Why do ex-lovers return? The reason for this may be simple jealousy. Even in separation, he continues to monitor the life of his ex, scaring away his rivals. He transforms again into an attentive gentleman and a sensitive lover.

In many cases, the desire to return is driven by comfort. He was accustomed to the comfort of home, clean clothes and delicious food.

There are many reasons why men always return to their exes, but sometimes it is difficult to understand his true motives. Sometimes a woman, refusing to accept a prodigal husband, makes the right decision, and sometimes she makes an incorrigible mistake. The main thing is to listen to your heart and not let it manipulate you. Before reuniting or parting forever, you need to think and weigh everything.

Reasons associated with re-evaluating your life and past relationships

Sometimes a difficult stage comes in a man's life. At this time, he will not search for new love; he just needs to re-evaluate everything that happened to him. In this case, representatives of the stronger sex really experience a feeling of remorse. They:

• honestly explain the reason for leaving;
• sincerely ask for forgiveness;
• ready to prove their love not only in words, but also in actions.

In such a situation, a “reset” of the relationship occurs. Vivid emotions may appear in them. The couple can start traveling and introduce new details into their intimate life.

If a man leaves a family in which there are children, and the length of the marital relationship is not a year or two, then the reason for returning may lie in the awareness of his loneliness. The feeling of freedom gets boring very quickly, and longing for home, your children and wife appears.

Sometimes the reason for separation is a mistake, which takes time to understand. A short amount of time is enough for negative emotions to fade into the background and common sense to prevail. In this case, the return often begins with an apology and a heart-to-heart conversation.

Why and for what reason exes come back

As they say, you cannot step into the same river twice. Everyone knows this saying. But at the same time, life proves that sometimes this still happens, and more often than you might think. For example, quite often we return again and again to some past stages of our lives. So, often men and women return to people with whom they had a family in the past

. What pushes us to return to our former partners and how many chances are there to mend relationships that have previously been torn to shreds? Psychologist's opinion:

Sometimes you can hear conversations like this: “he left her, and after a while he came back, she had a good time, and then came back to her husband...”. It is very easy for strangers to talk about this, but rarely does anyone realize that in fact all this hides a deep drama behind it. After all, for people to leave or return, there must be serious reasons. And it is difficult to imagine how much mental strength a person must exert in order to forgive his former partner for betrayal.

The main problem with which people come to a psychologist for help is that they simply cannot re-establish relationships with their ex-husband or wife who wants to return to the family. These people are tormented by the question of whether they should forgive and accept their partner back or not. This decision is very difficult, and in order to make it, you should first find out the reasons why your partner decided to leave you and why he wanted to return to you.

Reason number 1.

Your partner needs a temporary break. After being alone with himself for some time, he realized that he really needed you and decided to come back.

Psychologist's opinion:

Among all the options, this is the most harmless. In this case, the person does not leave his family in order to build a relationship with a new partner, but simply wants to be alone for some time and think about his relationship. Similar relationship crises can happen to anyone.

Reason number 2.

Your partner does not like your marriage, and he decided to leave you to find another partner for himself, but he did not succeed, and then, in order not to be completely alone, he decided to return to you again.

Psychologist's opinion:

Such behavior will not solve the problems that have arisen. If there are certain problems in a marriage, they will not be solved on their own after the wife or husband wants to return to the family. Therefore, you need to think about what exactly needs to change in the relationship. And only in this case will there be a chance to save the family.

Reason number 3.

The new partner turned out to be worse than the previous one.

Psychologist's opinion:

When a partner breaks up his marriage and begins to build a relationship with a new wife or husband, it is quite possible that this will result in disappointment for him. For example, the first wife always pampered him with delicious pies and other dishes, but the new wife, besides sex, cannot offer anything else. And good sex is not the only condition for a good marriage... there are also cases when, after some time has passed from the start of a new relationship, it turns out that a new partner is interesting to date periodically, but he is absolutely not suitable for living together. As a result of all this, a person understands that he was much better off with his previous partner.

Of course, in such a situation we can hardly talk about feelings; this, most likely, can be called a consumer position. It is up to you whether you agree to reunite with your “Prodigal” partner, but one way or another, do not expect your relationship to be the same as before.

Reason number 4.

The partner is pushed to return to the family by a sense of duty when special circumstances arise. For example, difficulties arose with children, a previous partner became seriously ill, etc.

Psychologist's opinion:

On the one hand, it’s not at all bad when a person believes that he is responsible for his children and ex-marital partner. But at the same time, one must remember that in this case he is also not guided by feelings. He is driven by duty. Naturally, you can accept your ex-partner back, agree to his support, but at the same time you will feel that he will no longer be able to be completely yours, as he once was.

Reason number 5.

A partner who has divorced is not ready for changes in his life.

Psychologist's opinion:

Over the course of some years of living together, you have already gotten used to each other, learned to put up with shortcomings, and become family. And family life with a new partner seems completely unfamiliar and foreign. As a result, after a while, longing for what happened before appears. It is because of the desire to return to a familiar environment that a person tries to return. But the fact is that even if he is accepted back, this does not mean that after a while he will not want to leave again. Moreover, after some time, leaving and returning will become his way of life and it is possible that he will live with two families at the same time. If this happens, then he needs to be given an ultimatum: he must once and for all decide which of his families he chooses, with whom he wants to stay.

Reason number 6.

You used to be husband and wife, and then you separated. Now that some time has passed, you are older, you have new goals in life, and you realize that you want to get back together.

Psychologist's opinion:

Among other options, this one is quite acceptable. At a young age, people can break up due to everyday problems, quarrels due to emotional temper, lack of specific goals in both partners or in one of them. People can meet again when they have decided on their life values, solved material, everyday and housing problems, and formed as individuals. It is possible that after this meeting an even stronger attraction will appear than before, and all grievances will simply disappear, as people will understand that in the past they were simply mistaken. In this situation, there are good chances to start the relationship from scratch.

One way or another, before you agree to take your ex back, you should have a serious conversation with him about your relationship. How strong your marriage will be depends on the efforts that you and your partner will make for this.

Signs that a man will return

Almost any woman usually understands at the subconscious level whether her loved one can return or not. This can be understood in the most personal, intimate nuances. For example, a month ago he was “dying of happiness” in your arms, you definitely saw his loving gaze, and today there is a stupid quarrel, you said nasty things to each other - then, of course, he will return, even if in a fit of rudeness he said that he was completely “ got it." Or you have been noticing for a year now that a man has become indifferent to sex with you, he has ceased to be interested in you as a woman, he hardly notices you and now declares that he needs to be alone for some time. Then, of course, here you have to tense up and think about the fact that you are losing him, that perhaps he has someone else. He leaves and you are left alone with your thoughts.

There are some average signs that your loved one is ready to return.

1. He is looking for meetings with you. So, a man can appear on your way in the following places: on the way to work (if he knows your route and method of transportation), in those places where you can definitely appear (kindergarten where you take your child, school, your beloved cafe, fitness center). It happens that a former lover comes to where you are sure to be. For example, there is a party with mutual friends, and he knows for sure about your presence there and comes himself. If this happens quite often, know that the man is looking for meetings with you, which means that, in principle, he is on the way to returning.
2. He writes and calls often. You broke up, but he calls. Maybe not every day, and maybe even once a week or two. But he calls you, specifically you (it doesn’t count if he wants to find out about the child and doesn’t ask anything else). Maybe the man wants to hear your voice and remains silent. It is quite possible that you don’t even know, but he is making calls from different numbers. But you need to understand this for sure, otherwise you will think that this is your ex-lover, but it turns out you just got the wrong number. So, if the person you broke up with writes you messages on social networks, often visits your pages, looks at your photos, eagerly looks at new photos, puts “classes”, calls, often asks how you are doing, know: he wants return. Or at least he misses you.
3. Finds out about you through mutual friends. Surely you have mutual acquaintances and friends. Or your relatives have become close friends to him. In this case, they will definitely tell you if your ex-lover is interested in you. This is one of the most common cases that men use if they want to find out something about the one they broke up with. Here are the possible scenarios for the development of events. If suddenly a woman has a new man, ex-husbands or lovers may begin to act actively. It is important to understand here: this is from great love and the understanding that you irresistibly want to return, or simply from a desire like “neither for me, nor for him.” If a man is sincere, he definitely repents, tries to improve relationships, corrects himself if he was wrong, does something he has never done.

If your loved one wants to return, it is important to understand: he is returning because he realized how dear you are to him, or he simply has nowhere to go, or in this way he is trying to hide from a new persistent mistress. Or it’s still simpler and worse for you. The ex-lover wants someone to simply wash his socks and shirts, iron his clothes, cook delicious food, and always be “at hand” if he wants sex. In this case, are you ready to continue the relationship?

Or is he sincere and wants to get you back at any cost? Because you are the one who is dear to him, he cannot live without your laughter, without your hands and lips, without your gatherings together? This is, of course, a completely different attitude. For his sake, you can forgive a man.