I would like to write to my ex-partner after a breakup: why, is it worth it?

Many girls, having barely met a representative of the opposite sex, those who have just entered into or are in a long-term relationship, ask the question: “Should I tell a man that I miss you?” Many people don’t want to seem intrusive or boring; for others, such confessions are like “hanging on the neck” of a gentleman. They talk about this on forums, mothers and more experienced friends give advice under no circumstances to admit your melancholy. But is this all really true?

Psychologists answer this question like this: It all depends on who the man is to the woman and what the relationship is between them. If a couple has been together for a long time, then you need to be open with each other. Accordingly, there is nothing wrong with telling your loved one that you miss you if you are sure that he will respond in kind.

The main advantages of sincerity

  • Sincerity will help push him to action . Often for a guy the message: “I miss you” is like a “green light” for decisive action. There is a good technique that works on the stronger sex, namely a message with promises. For example, instead of: “I miss you, I want to see you so much,” you should write: “I’m cooking your favorite Peking duck and I’m looking forward to our meeting.” There may be erotic and gastronomic fantasies, the prospect of watching football together, etc.
  • Will help him take his mind off his problems . It’s nice to receive an SMS during a boring meeting: “There are five (six, seven, etc.) hours left until our meeting.”
  • You can get a meeting with the man you are interested in . Representatives of the stronger sex understand direct words, not hints. Therefore, you need to talk about your emotions directly, and if the girl is interesting, then the guy will understand and offer to meet, and if not, then you should not count on a long-term relationship.
  • Thanks to sincerity, relationships between partners will improve . As experts note, many problems in couples arise due to understatement between partners. Both husbands and wives are often embarrassed to talk about their feelings, arguing that since we live together, the other half should know about it. But both sides are pleased to receive recognition that the other half is bored.
  • Most guys want to hear good words addressed to them . People's attitude towards us can be a mirror reflection of our attitude towards them. It is easy for others to stumble upon a hypocrite. By being sincere with others, we receive sincere affection towards us. If the gentleman is “the one,” then sincerity will improve the relationship, otherwise, while the game of pretending is going on, another woman will get ahead, who will quickly realize that the stronger sex also wants to hear kind, sincere words.

Secret phrases that fool any man

It is generally accepted that only women love with their ears, but the strong half of humanity perceives the world around them exclusively through visual observation, or, more simply, visually. However, not all so simple. Men, it turns out, also don’t mind experiencing the magical power of words. And there are even secret phrases that any man is fooled by. Believe me, it works on men! This article contains the best words. And also - comments from the other side of the front - that is, from the men themselves!

Source: https://ladystory.ru/?p=7494

Main disadvantages

  • You may not wait for an answer . If after this the young man does not show himself, then you should not count on a further serious relationship.
  • The gentleman will lose interest . It’s worth asking yourself the question: “Do you need someone with whom you need to pretend and play indifference?”
  • The man will turn out to be a player, and he does not need extra obligations . This point is quite simple. Sincerity will help identify a frivolous gentleman, but will upset a girl who is counting on a serious relationship.
  • Men can interpret “I miss you” in their own way, which will lead to a quarrel . A girl with this phrase often means a simple desire to see her lover, hug him, hear his voice, while he himself may mean physiological longing. And he may misunderstand the girl’s desire.
  • He will think that they are being imposed on him . You can unobtrusively communicate your desire to see him using SMS with an offer to accompany him to the cinema, go ice skating or go to a football match. Instead of frank confessions, you can remind yourself with a postcard.
  • He will think that she is boring and will not find something to do . Especially when people barely know each other, it is frivolous to write about your melancholy on the second day. After such words, the gentleman will think that she is boring in herself, since she cannot find something to do in the 21st century among so many opportunities. Moreover, working ladies never get bored.

Streams of curses

Psychologists identify seven stages of breakup: despair, denial, bargaining, escalation, anger, acceptance and redirected hope. However, the path from acceptance to the final stage is long, dark and hung with a web of irritation and resentment towards the ex.

It is normal to feel angry in such a situation. But it should not take precedence over other feelings and behavior.

So instead of writing angry messages to your ex-partner, every time you feel angry, take a good old piece of paper and write on it everything you feel. Of course, there is no need to send it. But it's very likely that you'll feel better afterward.

What do men themselves say about this?

We come to the conclusion that most men of any age are advised to talk about it directly. There is nothing wrong with the fact that a girl is sad when she is apart and tells her lover about it. This is the key to good relationships and trust. The stronger sex loves competition and loves to win the attention of women from others. Young people note that after these words they want to do something nice to their beloved. For some representatives of the fairer sex, SMS: “I miss you” helps determine intentions and interest in him.

But most women say that such words can only be written to a husband; the guy will become arrogant or think that the girl is already at his feet, since she is already sad in separation from him. Others argue that a self-sufficient lady is never bored, but only sad without a certain person.

List of things they do wrong

If the breakup occurred on your initiative, then you probably had reasons for it. For example, you realized that you are developing in completely different directions with this person. In any case, you should not list them to him - even if he asks for it.

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This doesn't mean you shouldn't clarify the reason for the breakup. But if your ex is texting after a breakup asking for more information, keep your focus narrow: pick one thing that would actually be useful for him to know. Constructive criticism can be helpful, but even good things require moderation.

Tips for not seeming intrusive

  1. Knowing of limits . You can’t endlessly write SMS “I miss you, I can’t live without you, I’m dying, etc.” The guy will lose interest, and secondly, he will think that this lady has a mental disorder. Of course, if the couple has been together for a long time, then he will be loyal to such letters, but if feelings are just emerging, such pressure can scare off the gentleman.
  2. Don't wait for a response . A guy will not always write in response about his sadness in separation from his beloved. He will probably respond with an emoticon, or simply write “I miss you too,” or say nothing.
  3. Replacing “I miss you” with other phrases . Instead of: “I miss you so much,” “I feel so sad without you,” you should write “I’m looking forward to meeting you,” “I’m looking forward to your soon return,” if your loved one is at work, on a business trip, etc. you can use a different phrase.
  4. It's important when to speak . There is no need to pester you with messages when your gentleman has an important business meeting. This can only be annoying. There is no need to write every second about your longing and desire to see him as soon as possible.

Whether to tell a man: “I miss you” or not to say it is up to everyone to decide for themselves, depending on the situation. Often, just by one message you can understand the true disposition of people towards each other.

Source: plusiminusi.ru

“Should we start again?”

Writing to your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend asking him to give the relationship a second chance is a terrible idea. The healthiest thing you can do after a breakup is to redirect your thoughts elsewhere, to other things and people. When you are in love, it seems to you that only this particular person is destined for you. But this is a misconception. There are a dime a dozen people in the world. So don't waste your energy texting the person who broke your heart.

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How to make a man miss you - tips for girls

First of all, for a person to miss you, you need to disappear from his life for a while. If you are constantly close to him, then it is natural that he will not miss you. In addition, it is not at all easy to voluntarily leave a loved one. But this is the only way you will give him time and space to understand, as well as the opportunity to realize how much he needs you in your absence.

To make a man miss you, you can be very busy for a while or just pretend, even if in reality this is not the case. The next time, talking with your partner, when he asks a question about what you are doing, you don’t need to give a definite answer, you can just laugh it off. This way you will show that you are a cheerful and easy-going person, but at the same time you will make the person agonize over the question of what you are actually doing in your absence.

When dating, ask your partner what pleasant memories you have together. For example, you can say some nice thing yourself. But you shouldn’t go to extremes and remember everything pleasant every evening, otherwise the person may become bored with it.

If you do not live together, then you can make a man miss you by forgetting some little thing in his house - a comb, an earring, a disc. When he comes across her in his apartment, he, of course, will immediately remember you. The main thing is that you do not urgently need the forgotten item.

But the most effective way to make a person feel bored is to become the life of the party, so that being around you always makes him feel at ease and happy. If you spend time with your partner, then you should not quarrel over trifles. And then, in any case, during separation, he will miss you and wait for your return.

But if you force yourself on a man too much, it will not lead to the result you expect. Most likely, during your absence, he will, on the contrary, prefer to finally forget about you and think about something completely different, not related to your person.

"We can stay friends?"

After a breakup, you feel like the time you spent building that relationship was wasted. It’s as if you built a house and it was swept away by a hurricane. Picking up rubble to build a new home is a bad idea. Such fragments may have sharp cutting edges.

The same goes for trying to remain friends with your ex. The only thing that heals is time. After it has passed, you will look at many things with different eyes. So before you write to your ex with such a proposal, try to heal yourself first. Who knows how you will feel in a month or two?

What to do to make a man miss you

Man's advice:

“Keep some distance between you. Don't confuse distance with indifference. You have a life together and a personal life. Live them both. I really don't like it when a man or woman complains that after meeting their partner, he or she stopped doing the things that used to bring them joy. This means something is wrong in their relationship.

To make a man miss you, don’t force yourself on him, don’t try to fill his whole life with you. Both of you should have your own lives. This is completely natural and normal. And there is no need to put any other meanings here. My wife has a very high opinion of me, but she does not at all demand that I be with her every minute. She considers me special, but without fanaticism. She has enough to do without me.

I have to travel a lot for work, as a result of which I sometimes don’t show up at home for several days. I like these business trips. I meet new people and find myself in places unfamiliar to me. But despite the pleasure I get, I think about my wife all the time. I return home and I can’t wait to tell her everything I saw and heard.

She could go on these trips with me, but she doesn't. I enjoy such trips, she doesn’t, so she prefers to stay at home, and I don’t try to convince her. If she is interested in the place where I am going, she arrives towards the end of my business trip, and then we do everything there that people who love each other should do on a trip.

Once you become a couple, you will remain a couple, regardless of whether you are in the same room or at a great distance. No one said we had to keep each other on a leash twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. If used improperly, bonds of love can turn into shackles of hatred. Keep your distance for his sake and for your sake.”

Source: www.astromeridian.ru

You know that in any relationship, especially romantic ones, communication will always be vital. It plays a key role in establishing intimacy between two people. It's important that you can allow yourself to truly open up about who you are and how you feel about your man.

Many couples these days rely on texting as a form of communication. Why not? If there is an opportunity to communicate in this way, you should definitely take it. These days, you don't have to worry about your man being too far away from you. You can make sure he knows you miss him.

And you should always think of new ways to do it. You don't want your crush to stop caring when you tell him you miss him.

If you need some new ideas, here they are. Say this to your man when you feel like you're missing him while you're apart:

1. I wish you were here with me right now.

2. I miss you like a fat guy misses ice cream when he's on a diet.

3. When I'm in your arms, I always feel at home. And now I feel incredibly homesick.

4. I miss you so much that you probably won't be able to understand it.

5. I could use your hug right now.

6. I wish I was where you are now.

7. I miss you like the earth misses the moon and stars when the sun shines too bright.

8. Even if I can’t hug you right now, you are definitely in my heart forever.

9. I started missing you as soon as we said goodbye. Just the thought of not being with you was enough to make me miss you.

10. I am mortally jealous of all the people who can be with you now. They don't know how lucky they are.

11. I never knew it was possible to miss a person as much as I miss you at this very moment.

12. You may think that it’s hard for you to miss me now. But it's not as hard as missing you now.

13. Now that you are not with me, I find myself thinking about everything I thought about before you came along. And I can't remember anything that happened before you.

14. You should be here. There is no other acceptable alternative.

15. I miss you so much that even words cannot accurately convey how I feel right now.

16. Think about a person who craves pizza. I'm in the same position. Only I long to see you.

17. I miss the feeling of your hand pressed against mine.

18. I miss you. And it really doesn't make any sense. I miss you, that's all.

19. It's such a strange feeling when I think about you. I am happy that you are in my life, but I am sad that you are not with me now.

20. The only time I will stop missing you will be when I end up with you. And even then I will still be unsure.

21. I miss you with every fiber of my being.

22. I just want to spend the rest of my days with you. So hurry up and come.

23. I can't see your face when I wake up. This is terrible for me.

24. I miss you terribly.

Source: femmie.ru

“I like your new avatar!”

Cat videos and funny memes are sure to melt anyone's heart, but social media can sometimes be a real minefield of memories. Even the cutest cats won't stop you from noticing the new avatar of your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.

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If love for this person still lives in you, it is better to unfollow him on social networks. In them, people usually post the best photos and generally try to appear better than they are. This obviously will not help you overcome tender feelings.

Poetic text

If you want to truly captivate your loved one, the most romantic option to send a message would be an excerpt from a poem, poem, sonnet or other literary work. In the end, you have a choice of the best writers and poets who knew how to talk about love with meaning, incredible sincerity and unforgettableness, and their words have stood the test of time. William Shakespeare, John Keats, Allen Ginsberg... Quotes from classics are a stylish way to say how much you miss you. And don't forget that you can write your own poems!

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