Why do men come back after a breakup? It is impossible to give a definite answer regarding the reasons for returning after a breakup, since it concerns the individuality of the intimate history of each unique relationship. However, the most common trends stand out. It happens that they come back after trying several other relationships, which gives the formation of an experienced understanding that the ex-woman is more suitable, and her importance increases. The everyday side of the issue also comes into play, making a man, satiated with romance and adrenaline, miss his organized life and his usual slippers. There is also full-blown jealousy, like a drive towards the past, and an inability to experience the new happiness of the former companion. Debt to children, reproaches from friends, image at work, paying off a mortgage, a feeling of shame, inadequacy in everyday life - everything can become a motive for returning. Although the most ethically correct reason why men return to their exes after a breakup is the presence of a desire to be together, due to mutual feelings and the same direction in life.
A woman faces a difficult choice about accepting back a man who wants to return. Such a passage of a crisis can give a new understanding of relationships, or it can take time and nerves, and the success of ending such an undertaking depends on the initial motives, efforts made and internal capabilities.
What to do to get your man back
The moment when decisions are made comes after tears have been shed, bitterness has been experienced and the advice of girlfriends who condemn the man has been listened to.
After a breakup, the chance of a man returning largely depends on the woman’s mood - what actions she will take and what will follow.
The first action of a woman should be the desire to take care of herself. After the lady is left alone, she has a lot of free time to take care of her own appearance. Often time is wasted instead in shedding tears and resentment. But during this period you can perform a lot of useful actions.
First, the girl should listen to her inner voice and realize what she wants at this moment.
70% of men love self-sufficient women
You should definitely love your own nature. Then relationships with people will begin to improve. Only a self-confident woman who values herself can attract a worthy partner.
Relationships after returning
Being prepared for the fact that the relationship after the man returns to the house will no longer be the same as before - this is the first thing you need to arm yourself with. Here the wisdom of a woman is used to prevent mistakes made earlier.
Watch the video. The main mistakes when getting your husband back.
There are a number of questions that are important to ask yourself before welcoming your loved one back into the family:
- Is there a fact of love for this person;
- Is it love or pity;
- Is there really a willingness to accept a person who once left the family;
- Is it possible to make compromises and search for solutions together;
- Is the girl confident in her chosen one?
In addition to questions, use advice regarding your future life:
- Disputes and irritability towards the partner are reduced to a minimum;
- In order not to bother a man, you should not put your own problems on his shoulders;
- In the right moments it is better to remain silent;
- To prevent a man from having the desire to “go left,” you can try something new sexually.
Love and respect for your partner is the main component of life together.
Advice from practicing psychologists
When girls are abandoned, they wonder why their lovers do not return to them after breaking up, and wonder what psychology says about this. Many young ladies make mistakes, become annoying, trying to often catch the eye of their former gentleman. They call, write messages, blackmail with children. You need to pull yourself together and let the man go with ease, because this will worsen the relationship.
After a woman is abandoned by her boyfriend, she begins to take care of herself, learns to cook, and maintain order in the house. These actions had to be performed at all times. To be able to accept him back and restore the relationship, you need to work on yourself.
There are many reasons for breaking up a relationship, objective and impulsive. Sometimes you can restore a relationship with a guy if he left. But in some cases it is better not to do this. Only with the desire of both partners and willingness to work on themselves will it be possible to renew the union.
How to increase self-esteem?
Let's use men as an example. How can a man improve his self-esteem? For example, if a man grows in his career and business, then his self-esteem also grows. He becomes more courageous, more self-confident. Why? Because he understands that the more successful he is, the more valuable he is, in principle, to many people. And his condition changes because of this.
Many girls also resort to this when pursuing a career or business.
But it is important to understand, yes, self-esteem from a career or business can also grow higher, but this is not a woman’s self-esteem, this is a person’s self-esteem. And often a woman can be confident in work, in business, but often nonsense happens in life
And often there is such a dissonance that she is successful in her career and business, but not in relationships. It's different for women. A woman's self-esteem greatly depends on the quality of her relationships with men.
This is how the world works. This does not mean that you should bow down to someone or try. No. This means that you must first establish a relationship with yourself. These are the most important relationships you need to establish. And when you establish them, your relationships with men will also improve. Until you have established a relationship with yourself, you want to manipulate, you want to pretend to be someone you are not, and you attract the same men who pretend to be someone they are not. And you and each other have hard sex in the brain. If you are satisfied with this, then continue in the same spirit, if you are not satisfied with this, ask yourself more often the question: what is my plan, what do I really want and what am I doing or not doing for this. Am I moving exactly towards my goals and desires or am I marking time.
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Signs that a man won't come back
A woman is also able to feel these moments. Only those who prefer to live “with rose-colored glasses” usually do not understand anything until the very end. After all, one way or another, signs of cooling are observed on the part of the man, but they are not always noticed by the woman. True, there are such representatives of the stronger sex (sort of experienced “Casanova ladies’ men”) who are almost impossible to catch until the last moment. They are affectionate with their wife, and with their mistress, and with all other women.
There are also reasons why exes never come back:
- If he left for another woman, especially because of the outbreak of love. There is a chance here only if it was, for example, only a matter of passion or there was no talk of a high feeling. Then your loved one can still, based on a comparison of you and the woman he left for, return because you are better! But if he seriously fell in love, then, most likely, he does not even think about returning. However, do not forget that everything is relative. And each case is individual. For example, a man may think that he is madly and forever in love, and then the feeling passes, and he remembers with bitterness the one with whom he lived before. But here you have to be careful. What if he falls in love like this more than once? Do you need to relive this over and over again? In any case, there are statistics according to which, if a man leaves you for another woman, then in rare cases he will return again.
- I cut off contacts and won’t get in touch. Here, most likely, everything is lost irretrievably. Firstly, a loving person cannot do this because of elementary concern about the object of his love. If we don’t know how our love lives, then we are very worried, we want to know if everything is okay with her. And that's okay. Secondly, the person who breaks off the connection for good clearly does not want to have any relationship with you anymore. And this is already an alarming symptom.
Symptoms
There are three main states of depression:
- Denial as a stress reaction to what is happening. Unwillingness to accept facts.
- Aggression as a result of the mind understanding that the relationship is doomed.
- Apathy as the most protracted period. This is a lack of desire for any activity that turns into depression over several months or years.
After parting, the energetic invisible connection only intensifies, thoughts arise about resuming communication despite its logical conclusion, and withdrawal begins. A person has a victim complex, a feeling of being the injured party, and an intention to restore justice arises. At the same time, an aggression complex appears, an inability to come to terms with what happened, and even a desire for revenge.