- September 9, 2019
- Psychology of Personality
- Angelica Braldi
I am a bad man. Such a categorical statement is often emotional, uttered in a moment of emotion, guilt, and repentance. If a statement appears in such circumstances, then it does not at all indicate that the person actually thinks so; it is not his belief, but simply words reflecting internal experiences.
Just as rarely, the statement “I am a bad person” sounds like an ultimatum. It is used for a kind of speculation, the purpose of which is to attract increased attention to oneself. As a rule, the declarant expects that the people around him will begin to convince him of the opposite, shower him with compliments and talk about how wonderful and good he really is. Of course, in this situation, a person also does not worry about the presence of bad qualities in his character.
However, there is also a true awareness of oneself as an unworthy, bad, vicious individual. And in this case, the phrase “I am a bad person” is either an objective assessment or evidence of a personality crisis and the presence of complexes, for example, low self-esteem.
What does the concept mean?
Of course, all assessments of human actions, character traits, and behavior patterns are subjective. What is a virtue for one may be considered a sign of depravity by another. There is no truth in such an assessment, regardless of what parameters one judges by.
As a rule, people make the verdict “I am a bad person” based on generally accepted ideas about good and evil, traditional for a particular society. For example, is cannibalism bad? Absolutely yes. This is exactly how any person who grew up, for example, in a country with a Christian culture, will answer. That is, developing this analogy, it can be argued that a cannibal is a bad person. However, if the same question is asked to an aborigine of Australia or Polynesia, “savages” from the African or South American jungles, the answer will be the word “no”. In many cultures, eating a killed enemy is a sign of reverence and respect for him. That is, there cannibalism is a property of a good person.
Similar to this example, you can consider absolutely any character trait. Even hypocrisy and the habit of lying are not bad qualities in every culture.
Is it possible to define the concept
Despite the fact that the concept of a “bad person” is very vague, it is quite possible to give it a clear and unambiguous definition. This is a psychological paradox. Moreover, this definition will be equally significant for any society, regardless of what value system is traditional in it.
A bad person is one who does not follow the norms accepted in society, does not share the value system and violates laws, rules and traditions.
As a rule, people who do not conform to the norms accepted in society by their character traits, actions and behavior cause a lot of trouble to their loved ones, causing them to experience mental suffering and feel shame.
An example of this can be a completely banal situation that often happens to people who have been married for many years. One partner begins to cheat on the other. The one who is faithful feels like a victim, experiences mental pain, and sometimes guilt.
What actions does such an individual perform?
If someone declares: “I am a bad person. What should I do?”, before giving advice, you need to find out what exactly is being discussed. What manifestations can we talk about in this case?
For example, from a conventional point of view, a bad person does the following:
- beats the weak, including family members and children;
- rapes, both physically and mentally;
- mocks those who cannot answer him in kind;
- does not fulfill its obligations;
- violates the laws of society;
- rowdy, hooligan, interferes with the lives of others.
The list can be continued. However, the listed actions make it possible to understand what is meant by the concept of “bad” by most people.
What emotional traits correspond to this concept?
Quite often, people utter the phrase “It seems to me that I am a bad person” not because they commit any unacceptable actions, but because of the presence of certain emotions, temperamental characteristics, and characteristics of thinking.
As a rule, many begin to consider themselves bad, noticing the following traits:
- anger;
- envy;
- anger;
- arrogance;
- the desire to seem like someone else.
Again, the list of character traits and emotions experienced by a person can be continued. However, this very short list is quite enough to understand what feelings we are talking about.
People often feel vicious, “dirty,” and disgusting. As a rule, this is not an objective assessment, but indicates the presence of deep psychological problems.
Can a good person turn out to be bad?
There is nothing in nature that has only a creative or, conversely, destructive principle. As a rule, every phenomenon has both good and bad sides. The same is true for people.
What it means to be a good person or, conversely, a bad person is not only abstract, but is often dictated by circumstances. The same people often exhibit completely different personality traits when faced with a specific situation or when communicating with someone.
This means that a good person can “fly off the rails”, lose his temper in the presence of some provoking factor or when under the influence. The influence of bad company, which parents so often talk about when trying to explain the behavior and actions of their teenage children, is the most striking example of what can turn a good person into a bad one. A stressful situation, a natural disaster and much more pushes people to actions that they do not expect from themselves, let alone others.
The difference between a truly good person and a bad one in this context will be that the former realizes the wrongness of his actions, emotions, and actions. He repents and tries to change, correct what he did or prevent it from happening again.
Schedule issue
And lastly: having a diagnosis presupposes a certain culture of living with it. It makes sense to immediately tell someone close to you about it. For example, several of my relatives know my signs of hypomania, they are quite obvious, and they tell me: “Isn’t it time for you to take a pill?”
Being unpredictable is the worst social interaction you can do. Firstly, those around you will know if something goes wrong, why it is going wrong and what to do about it.
A separate point is work. It would be good if the opportunity to sometimes drop out of the work process was provided. I went to a psychiatrist for the first time in 2012, my employer, having learned about the diagnosis, which I told him about myself, was understanding, and since then, as a rule, my schedule takes into account the presence of the disorder and allows me to work with it effectively so that the process itself does not suffer from exacerbations.
Thank God, now humanity is moving away from such a traditional concept of self-organization and time management, which was very well suited for office workers and which is not very well suited for people with mood disorders and in general for people who are not very good with monotonous routine and monotonous activities .
Here I can recommend stories about flexible planning, about a flexible schedule, what is now called Agile in programming and is gradually moving into other areas of life.
What kind of a good person is he?
What does it mean to be a good person? It is quite difficult even for scientists to answer this question unambiguously. This concept is as vague as the idea of negative qualities. And just as in identifying bad properties, public opinion and moral and ethical standards accepted in society play a key role in identifying good ones.
A good person fully corresponds to them. And absolutely sincerely, from the inside. This means that people with positive qualities do more than just know the difference between good and evil. For example, such people do not pretend to sympathize with others because this is accepted in society. They do something at the behest of their soul, because for good people, good feelings and actions are natural.
Don't be afraid of doctors!
What exactly should you do if you notice symptoms? First of all, don’t panic, and secondly, each mental disorder has its own set of criteria, and the most important criterion of them is duration. If you feel bad for two or three days in a row, this is generally a normal fluctuation. For depression, the starting time is two weeks. If a person does not get out of depression for more than two weeks, this is already a reason to talk not about a situational decline in mood, but about clinical depression. And think about how to seek professional help.
Actually, what to do? Going to a psychiatrist, even if you later use the services of a psychologist or psychotherapist, is worth starting with. Because this is the only category of specialists who can make a diagnosis.
A psychologist without medical education cannot make a diagnosis. And this is an important point. There is no need to be afraid of registration - this is a myth, no one will tell employers anything, there is simply no centralized registration of patients who have contacted such a doctor, so that then “big brother” will follow you for the rest of your life.
Naturally, any medical institution where you come for services will include you in its database, simply because the specialist needs to know your medical history the next time you come there.
If you are afraid of “leaks of medical information”, then you don’t need to worry about this either; no hackers will find out about your diagnosis simply because our doctors, in the old fashioned way, write most of the documents on pieces of paper, by hand, in a completely analogue way. So you can forget about cyberparanoia for now, there are no digital medical databases in Russia yet, fortunately, we are not that civilized. And this is the case when technical backwardness plays into one’s hands in a sense.
You may be temporarily deprived of access to certain types of activities, such as driving a car, working with money, working with children, and working with some kind of increased responsibility. But this happens infrequently, and, as a rule, such suspensions are temporary. Besides, if you're hallucinating, you probably shouldn't actually be driving. All such prohibitions are not due to the desire to somehow suppress or punish you, but to some practical considerations.
If you don't like government institutions, you can turn to private psychiatrists. In addition, if you already know your diagnosis, it would be good to keep a specialist’s phone number and a strategic supply of suitable wheels on hand. For example, this is what I do.
How to figure out whether a person is bad or not?
Often people who are worried that they are not good say: “They say that I am a bad person.” That is, it is not they themselves who feel like this, but it is instilled in them by the people around them. There is a theory that if you repeat the same thing to someone daily and repeatedly, the person will believe it.
Accordingly, there are two options for why people consider themselves not particularly good:
- others think so;
- the person himself comes to this conclusion.
Not everyone is able to independently detach themselves from their own “I” and look from the outside. Objectively evaluate your qualities, emotions, way of thinking, actions. Even practicing psychologists cannot always understand whether a person is bad or not.
However, you can try. There is no point in self-searching, since one thought inevitably leads to another, and this process becomes endless. It makes sense to try to write down all those qualities, actions, actions that are a reason to think about the bad essence of a person. Of course, exactly the same thing needs to be done for inverse properties.
Then you just need to compare the graphs. If it turns out that the column with good qualities and actions turns out to be longer than the list of bad ones, it means that in this particular period of time it is this side of human nature that takes over.
Requests for help Write your story I’m at the limit, I’m hanging on by the last thread... I don’t see the point in living further, because it seems to me that I’m the most terrible person in the world. Why did I decide this? Because everyone hates me... I’ve been experiencing this all my adult life... Even my family doesn’t like me, I’ve heard a lot of hurtful, evil things from them. I heard them talking about me from the room, and there was nothing good about them. I was constantly driven to hysterics, I cried a lot, cramps and trembling all over my body, some kind of cold... And constant, never-ending fear. I don’t even feel a kindred spirit with them, I’m a stranger to them... I don’t have and never had warm relationships with other people either. There was severe bullying at school, from the first grade. They insulted me, laughed at me, and drove me into a corner in a crowd. Then friends seemed to appear, and life seemed to become a little calmer, but no. Even more severe bullying began, and it intensified from the teachers. A couple of times it came to fights and all sorts of threats. Then my friends left. They joined the offenders. It’s like I had seen and understood how they treated me before, I felt and saw contempt and laughter, I didn’t pay attention, and then the final blow was straight to the soul, right to the heart. There was more than one difficult event there... Again, a lot of swearing and anger directed at me. I tried to make friends with someone else in the camps, now at the university, but everything was unsuccessful. They look down on me and say bad things. And there was also a broken heart... There was no one, but I fell in love often, but... I don’t even know how to explain... it wasn’t serious or something (although it seemed like this was your person for life). And then she appeared in my life... And I fell in love, for real... I ran after her for a long time, tried to woo her, but all I got was the same thing: hatred, insults, contempt. My heart was broken...... In those months, I realized that I was completely alone... That I had no one and never would... Then I started thinking about suicide... In general, I never give up, but..... I realized that there is no meaning in my existence ... Well, why should I live? I only upset people, although it seems like I never wished harm on anyone..... Help me, please, I seem to be at a dead end, completely alone, but while I was writing the letter I felt a thin thread of hope..... But I don’t understand what to do next, I don’t know, I don't see a way out, only a dead end. Help…….
Matvey, age: 18 / 10/25/2021
Responses:
Hello. Matvey, you are just at the beginning of your journey, don’t rush to despair. There will also be friends and personal life. The main thing is to believe, strive, go, but not get hung up. Especially on failures. We all make mistakes, everything doesn’t work out right away. But the more difficult it is, the more worthy and valuable the victory will be. Don't pay attention to the opinions of others. You know that you are a good, worthy person, you live with goodness in your heart, you’re great! I wish you success!
Irina, age: 33 / 10/26/2021
Hello, Matvey. I'm also not in the best situation, but please don't give up!! You're still young enough, you shouldn't kill yourself, really. It's a pity that you fell in love with someone who doesn't deserve you. You are surrounded by the wrong people (if you can call them that). Is it really worth taking away your most valuable thing - your life - because of a bunch of idiots who wanted to take it out on someone? If you have such an opportunity, immediately consult a doctor, your condition clearly will not make you better, such thoughts do not end well. You can try to make new acquaintances, I think it could help. Don't give up, you will definitely find good people, I'm sure of it
Bebrochka, age: 6474 / 10/26/2021
Matvey! You are so young! It’s in your hands to change everything, get a profession, and eventually start your own family. I am 30 years old, I have no friends from childhood, I met all my close friends recently. Don't try to please everyone and depend on other people's thoughts and opinions. School will be forgotten, forgive all your offenders, they should not affect the quality of your life. Do what you love, you are probably passionate about something, you can look for something for your soul. You can eventually move to another city and start all over again. Do not despair! No matter how banal it may sound, over time everything will be forgotten, even what now seems creepy, and there will be a way out of the impasse! Fight for yourself, for the right to happiness, it does not depend on anyone but you! In the temple you can meet close, kind, sympathetic people, prayer should help! Take care of yourself!
Anna, age: 30 / 10/26/2021
Please don't think that your life has no meaning. And that you will never be happy. You definitely will! Yes, it’s very difficult for you now, but the problem is not with you, but with the people who treated you that way. Get busy with your life, find a new hobby for yourself, so to speak. Maybe you will want to devote time to this and feel useful to this world. Start reading, discover a new world for yourself, when there is a book you are not so lonely. Good times will come, remember it always rains before the rainbow. Don't make a mistake, everything is just ahead
Katya, age: 19/26.10.2021
Friend, I understand how hard it is for you. In fact, you are not alone at all, I think many people experience similar feelings. If you look more closely, observe those around you, you will see that even those who at first glance have relationships with everything and everyone are the same vulnerable people who are not at all immune from the risk of being rejected or misunderstood in society. They also experience the fear of losing privileges in the form of approval from those more powerful, so they diligently try to assert themselves at the expense of others. This notorious public opinion is very fickle and you don’t need to think that if you are not accepted, then the matter is solely in you. We have a chic compass - our conscience; if you understand that the conversations of your family members do not correspond to the real state of affairs, you do not need to blindly believe them! you probably already know, and if you don’t yet, I’ll tell you a secret that adults with experience do not always behave wisely and show mercy to their loved ones, sometimes they don’t even notice that their words can cause serious harm to those closest to them - children . They don’t always understand how to live their lives, so don’t think that everything they say about you and who you are is the ultimate truth. Try to abstract yourself from the problems of life, try to accept on faith the fact that your life includes more than people who have not learned to be tolerant and loving. That you can be distracted by a thousand and one activities, just don’t reduce the whole world to the size of a single point. And remember that you are not alone.
Bro, age: 27 / 10/26/2021
Hello, Matvey! Read about logotherapy and existential analysis. It is this branch of psychotherapy that answers the question: “Why?” Everything makes sense, trust me. You despaired too early, be patient - the darkness is thickest before the dawn. I also recommend ACA (adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families) - the most accessible type of psychotherapy. But don’t rush to the next world - it’s too early, believe the thrice-suicide. There is a helpline, there are crisis centers, there are priests and Orthodox psychologists at churches - there is help - just lend a hand. Good luck!
Lyasine, age: 42 / 10/26/2021
Matvey, you find yourself in a very difficult situation. I lived in a similar situation for about 12 years until I graduated from university, and almost everyone at the university bullied me, dozens of people, and tried to beat me up several times in the crowd. I attempted suicide at the age of 13, clinical death, even in a semi-delirium I saw my body lying on the bed. I understand your feelings perfectly and I sympathize with you very much. Think about this: those who poison you are a pathetic handful of scum and sadists. On a global scale, they are just a pile of bird droppings. Yes, it's tough, but that's how it is. Now remember everything you dreamed of - what did you want to achieve in the future, what do you want to say to this huge and vast world? I am sure that you have a lot of interesting ideas - because, as a rule, people who are persecuted are extraordinary and talented people who stand out in the gray mass and this mass, against their background, realizes its limitations. What did I do in my time? I found a fairly competent psychotherapist, because it is almost impossible to work through my traumas on my own. Plus, my situation was difficult, I had to take antidepressants for some time. But what I have realized at the moment is that the traumatic experience brought me not only suffering and negativity, but also allowed me to learn to see the world and the people around me much more deeply. This experience gave me wisdom and insight. And I say this not to brag, but so that you understand that the troubles that are happening to you now are one of the important components of the strong personality that is now forming in you. It’s like hardening steel - in order for it to become truly strong - it is first heated red-hot, forged with a hammer, and then suddenly dropped into cold water. Does it hurt? Yes. But only after hardening will you become steel, and those panties that poison you will remain plasticine. As for what you can do right now, try to find a private psychotherapist or psychiatrist (who, as a bonus to the main consultation, will be able to select normal medications for you to relieve the severity of your condition). In addition, start strengthening your body - some kind of athletics, cardio, or better yet, barbells and dumbbells. If bullying starts again, you can think about moving to another university. And most importantly, think about enrolling in a boxing or hand-to-hand combat class - believe me, all sadists very subtly feel fear and whether a person can fight back. And if they understand that they will receive an answer, they try not to interfere, because at heart they are flawed cowards who are trying to hide their cowardice from others under the guise of demonstrative aggression against a physically weaker person. By doing so, they send an unspoken signal to the rest of the team, something like, “See how I can bully another person? It’s better not to mess with me at all, otherwise you’ll take his place!” But we must understand that the basis of the sadist’s motivation is precisely cowardice, the fear that others will see the cowardice within him and persecute him. I described to you exactly the thinking of such people. And are you ready, for the sake of such nonentities, to take your own life from you to please them? Live and become stronger. Try to transform the current image of yourself as a hunted victim into the image of a commando who goes through the most difficult obstacle course of all. In your opinion, is it realistic in this case for a special forces soldier to suddenly stand up and say, “For some reason, this streak is already sick of me, I don’t want this maroon beret!” and would he shoot himself? Unlikely. This is a very important exercise, because as long as you consider yourself a weak victim, who is “karmically” determined to be a “punching bag,” then you will not budge. Try to see and feel your strong part, and you have a very big one - you are more courageous and stronger than you think at the moment - otherwise, if you were weak, you would have killed yourself long ago at the beginning of bullying at school. And so you held on for many years. Yes, it was incredibly difficult for you, but you were able to stand where many broke. You have already defeated them all, they couldn’t even break you as a whole team. You are stronger than them all. Be sure to live - the world really needs people like you.
Alex, age: 35 / 10/27/2021
Educator, journalist and writer Dmitry Bykov once said about school bullying: “They don’t bully a fool, they don’t bully a nonentity, they don’t bully a clown. They bully a potential leader so that he doesn’t become that leader.” That is, you were bullied not because you are worse everyone, but because you are the best! There is no need for you to engage in self-flagellation. I advise you to engage in self-development, how about learning a foreign language and finding foreign friends? This is me, for example, there are a lot of options. And I advise you to find a job and rent an apartment, why would you want to live with people who don’t love you?
From flame and light, age: 32 / 10/28/2021
Hello, Matvey. They gave you excellent advice. I would like to share some information with you. In 1948, psychologist Bertrand Forer conducted an interesting psychological experiment. He gave his students a special test in order to analyze their personalities based on the results. However, instead of a real individual description, he gave everyone the same vague text taken from the horoscope. Well, you know, there: You are a rather decisive person, but sometimes you have doubts, or You have many friends, but some consider you withdrawn. And he asked each student to rate the suitability of the description of their personality on a five-point scale. And the average score was 4.26—almost everyone recognized themselves in the description. The Forer effect, the effect of subjective confirmation. This effect can partially explain the phenomenon of the widespread popularity of astrological horoscopes, palmistry and other pseudosciences. People believe information about themselves. They find themselves in the eyes of another. Jean-Paul Sartre's play "Behind Closed Doors" partially reveals this problem. The action of the play revolves around the fact that in the life already lived in the past, the characters were unable to realize their own freedom, and the awareness of the irreversibility of this is, according to Sartre, hellish torment. Journalist Garcin, rich woman Estelle and postal worker Ines end up in a closed room called Hell after death. The subtext of this play is "Hell is others." It is through the Other that a person can recognize himself, the views of others give him his own reflection - at some point Ines literally invites Estelle to “become her mirror.” Here is Estelle’s monologue about mirrors: “I see mirrors, but I don’t see myself in them. Oh, I see myself, but not with my own eyes, but with the eyes of other people.” Our psychological state depends on the information that we absorb. And not just on the information, but on what we think about ourselves at that moment. And this information is often inaccurate or false. Because, for example, he was not invited to a birthday party, a person may already experience rejection, a feeling of uselessness. Or he thinks about himself the way he was told to think by labeling him. I read a story about a young, intelligent woman who could not get rid of one habit - she did not look her interlocutor, especially a man, in the eyes. It turns out that in her teens, when acne appeared on her face, the boys at school teased her and called her names. Beautiful, A charming and educated woman, throughout her life she carried the imprint of a false opinion about herself - uncertainty that someone might like her. Therefore, it is very important to see the dignity in ourselves. We often see only shortcomings in ourselves and look at ourselves through the eyes of other people. However, the blood of Jesus Christ shed for us tells us not only about our sins and shortcomings, but also about our value for Him, about His love for us. To get rid of psychological pressure that negatively affects your self-esteem, you need to find yourself in the Lord. And in Him, in Christ, you are always accepted, always loved, always valuable. This is truly so. And remember that you are your own boss. The words of an emotionally abusive person only have an effect because he believes in his power over you. Remind yourself that only YOU have power over yourself. And do not forget that God loves you. And this is the most important thing.
Inga, age: 46 / 10.29.2021
Matvey, excuse me, maybe my letter won’t help in any way. You all look at people like they don’t need you. But there is one being within you that needs you. When I say that no one needs me, that I am of no use, He says: “I need you.” He can say it ten times to get it through. You will talk to Him. Well, they call Him God. If you see Him inside, things are not so bad. And people - if you want, find those who need help, and stop feeling unnecessary. There are different types of volunteers.
Jajuju, age: 57 / 10/29/2021
Hello. People tell you dirt, but you don't take it. Yes, propaganda works on constant suggestion, as Goebbels said, a lie repeated hundreds of times becomes the truth. If the propaganda is from TV, they turn it off; if it is from people, they don’t communicate with them. There are 7 billion people on Earth, you will meet your own. Age is also prickly now; as people grow older, they become softer. The girl is not yours either. Forget. It's not about you. They leave anyone. Bullying at university? This is not compulsory education; this is the only way to expel people for hooliganism. You can contact the employees. Cyberbullying and slander are also punishable, read about the case of bullying Maria Mostynets.
Wild Angel, age: 22 / 30.11.2021
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How to become a good person?
Often people who consider themselves bad are not bad, but experience problems of a psychological nature, namely, they belittle themselves. How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence is almost the same as becoming a good person. But there is no recipe, no list of actions that could turn evil into good.
This does not mean that you cannot cultivate good qualities in yourself. The process of changing yourself begins with the question “How do I understand that I am a bad person?” Anyone who thought about this took the first step towards re-evaluating their emotions, feelings, and actions.
Most psychologists and clergy believe that in order to stop being bad, you should simply constantly do only good deeds and control yourself.
The idea was imposed on me that I was a very bad person
True, there is another very difficult situation in which I, the owner of the anal vector, myself admit and even am sure that I am a bad person. This is an eternal conflict between generations.
So far, system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan has not yet become a daily mandatory subject for study by all parents. Therefore, it often happens that parents, not knowing, not understanding who their child is in vectors, behave erroneously towards the baby. With the best intentions, a fast and demanding mom with a skin vector will push me all the time. Because relative to her, I am a slower (read: bad) person.
For me, a diligent and diligent owner of the anal vector, such demands put me under enormous stress, and therefore into complete stupor. And my beloved mother is trying even more to stir me up. And everything is only getting worse every day. I'm trying really hard, but I just can't be faster. It's terribly offensive.
But mommy can't be bad. This is my beloved, only mother. So this is who I am, am I becoming a bad person? Thus, my subconscious justifies the actions of my parents, shifting all the blame onto me. And now I’m guilty before my mother. I'm sure I'm a bad person. And I can’t live from this realization. After all, in fact, all my desires, all my actions are aimed only at being good.
How to increase self-esteem?
Low self-esteem does not arise out of the blue; you are not born with it. This is always a consequence of the influence of other people, their reactions to failures, actions or emotions of a person.
How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence are extremely important questions. Depreciation of one's own personality, capabilities, skills, lack of faith in the likelihood of achieving results in anything are problems that prevent people from living fully. For example, a feeling of self-doubt often becomes the reason that a person does not even try to do anything.
It is very difficult to fight this, especially if there is no one nearby who would say: “Come on, go ahead, everything will work out, I believe in you.” Therefore, you need to say such phrases yourself, tuning into the beginning of the day. And of course, do not be afraid of difficulties, but try to do something. Over time, the attitude of others will change. A person will definitely notice approval from others. This will mean that problems with low self-esteem have been resolved.
Am I becoming a bad person or have I always been this way?
Over there, my friend Vaska asks me to tell my wife that we were fishing together. A friend! How not to help? But she is his legal wife, and Vaska should not hide strange trips to God knows where under the guise of fishing. How can you ask me to lie? Because in this case I become a bad person. And betraying a friend is also not good.
The worst thing is that those around me obviously think that I am a very bad person. After all, if my friend Vaska had not considered me capable of lying, he would never have asked me for such “help.” And I feel sorry for Vaska, he keeps telling me how touchy his wife is and how she doesn’t want to understand him.
And I also feel sorry for my wife Vaskina - she is a very decent woman. There is no way to deceive her. It turns out that in any case I will turn out to be a bad person.
