Almost everyone has heard and knows about manipulators, and for some reason manipulation is always associated with negativity. On the one hand, this is correct. Indeed, who would want his own consciousness to be manipulated by other people, even close relatives or loved ones. On the other hand, sometimes I myself want those around me to behave exactly as they should, that is, to at least obey a little and listen.
All management ultimately comes down to stimulating the activity of other people. Lee Iacocca
Manipulation: Instructions for use
Why is that? The answer is clear to anyone who is familiar with the basics of the science of all sciences, which is called philosophy. One of the basic laws of philosophy states that our entire world is literally woven from contradictions that are constantly at war with each other. This is exactly how everything happens in relationships between people. If a person does not know how or fundamentally does not want to manipulate the consciousness of others, he becomes a victim of manipulators.
If you are tired of being a victim, that is, that “scapegoat” on whom everyone constantly takes out their own irritation, who is pushed around and controlled not only by superiors and colleagues, but also by very young children, let’s learn the secrets of manipulating a person’s consciousness. In principle, everything is not as difficult as it seems. Let's try to present the technology of controlling human consciousness in the form of a short step-by-step instruction.
Ways to manipulate people
The art of manipulating people includes various methods. People often use some of them in their normal behavior without knowing it. But there are people who specifically train in manipulation techniques in order to learn how to effectively extract the necessary information from other people or force them to do something. An individual who does not need to manipulate other people still needs to know about these methods in order to be able to recognize them in time and expose the manipulator and protect his mental state. When using any of the methods of manipulating people, it is necessary to prepare in advance in order to increase the effectiveness of its influence. First of all, you need to determine what psychological manipulation of a person will be aimed at.
Among the targets of human manipulation are:
— needs, inclinations and interests of individuals;
— beliefs, worldview;
- style of behavior, habits, way of thinking;
- professional skills;
- the emotional state of people.
In order for the manipulation of a person’s consciousness to be successful, you need to collect as much information about him as possible. Consider the place, conditions and time when this manipulation will take place. To increase suggestibility, you need to create the necessary environment, choose an isolated place or a crowded one (depending on the situation) and then carry out your plans.
The contact established between people has a great influence. A person who often uses manipulation against people knows how to establish communicative contact, how to develop it, and inspire trust. He could learn all this by studying special psychological literature, and then consolidate this knowledge with practical skills and experience of their constant application. When communicative contact is established, it should be considered that the preparatory stage is completed, and you can proceed directly to the methods of manipulation. Although some methods do not require a preparatory stage.
Techniques for manipulating people. False questioning is a method of manipulating people, the purpose of which is to change the meaning of the speech spoken by a person, changing it to a meaning beneficial to the manipulator. The manipulator begins to say the same thing, but in slightly different words, not just retelling, but changing the meaning of the whole idea. Therefore, in order not to fall for this trick, you need to listen carefully to what is being said and immediately correct inaccuracies.
Ostensible indifference is a way of manipulating people, which consists of proving one’s own rightness by showing indifference to a person’s ideas. The manipulator waits until the interlocutor begins to prove that his information is significant, to express facts and information that should have been hidden. Thus, without particularly straining, the manipulator receives the desired facts, as if on a silver platter. It is important to notice the provocation and not succumb to it.
Imaginary inferiority is a way of manipulating people, which consists in the manipulator showing weakness and expecting a condescending attitude towards himself. If the manipulated person believes in this weakness, he stops perceiving the manipulator as a rival, relaxing his vigilance. You can avoid falling under the influence of this trick if you perceive all people as strong and serious rivals, but do not do this with your constant attitude towards others, since those people who are not manipulators will begin to doubt their trust.
The method of false love is the manipulation of people, which is expressed in declarations of love, respect, and reverence. By clouding your mind with loving promises, you can achieve a lot more than just asking. In this case, only a cool mind and sensitivity can help in countering the psychological impact or exposing true feelings.
Using unmotivated anger and rage, the manipulator waits for the interlocutor to begin to calm him down and make concessions. To protect yourself from this trick, you should not pay attention to the anger of your interlocutor, you should not calm him down, sooner or later he will calm down. Showing indifference can confuse such a manipulator. Also, to put the manipulator in his place, you can answer him in an aggressive, but not loud tone, looking into his eyes and taking a militant pose, you can take him by the shoulder or hand. If such a person is physically more developed than the manipulator, then the latter will even regret using this method.
Psychological manipulation of a person using a fast pace or haste means that the manipulator begins to speak very quickly, hides behind haste, talks to the interlocutor, who does not have time to digest all the information received, and achieves his tacit consent. If such behavior is observed, then you need to stop his monologue, interrupt and say that you yourself do not have time and quickly walk away or hang up, but before that, be sure to apologize.
Manipulating people by expressing suspicion and making excuses is very effective because it removes a person’s psychological protective barrier. In this case, the manipulator feigns suspicion and mistrust, in response to which, naturally, the person begins to make excuses. At this moment, the manipulator begins to form the necessary attitudes in the interlocutor. Only a self-confident person who shows that she knows the value of her words and actions can resist such actions.
Manipulation of people, which consists of showing weakness, fatigue or deteriorating health, leads to the fact that people quickly agree with the ideas of the manipulator, not wanting to torment him with their statements or evidence to the contrary. You should be careful and not succumb to this kind of provocation.
The method of manipulating people, which consists in the irony of the manipulator or a grin at the words of the interlocutor, leads to the fact that a person loses his temper, begins to get very angry in response to the irony applied to him, which removes the protective barrier of the psyche and becomes ready for suggestion. The only way to combat such manipulation is complete indifference to what is said.
Confusing thoughts is a very common psychological manipulation of a person, which is often perceived as ordinary bad manners. A manipulative person strives to take the conversation in the direction it needs by constantly interrupting the interlocutor. In this case, you just need to continue to say your thing, if it is really important, or walk away from the conversation, but not listen to what the manipulator says.
There is such a manipulation as false presentation of favorable conditions for the interlocutor. The manipulator tries to hint that the interlocutor currently has great opportunities. The manipulated person begins to deny something, due to which he opens himself up to the suggestion of attitudes that will follow immediately. It is important to clearly understand your place and not try to prove something, the main thing is that you know it.
The method of manipulation is an imitation of bias, which consists in the fact that the manipulated person finds himself in conditions in which he needs to reject suspicion of a biased attitude towards the manipulator. To do this, he begins to praise the manipulator, talk about his good aspirations, thus creating a personal attitude towards a positive attitude towards the manipulator. To avoid acting in this way, you just need to refute the bias, but not start praising the manipulator.
Misleading people by using specific terminology is one of the effective ways to manipulate people. Such manipulation occurs through the use of terms unknown to the interlocutor in a conversation. The person who falls under the influence finds himself in an awkward position and is timid to ask again about the essence of these terms. There is no need to be shy; it is better to clarify a word that you do not understand, so as not to end up in an unclear situation later.
There is such a method of manipulation as imposing untruthful stupidity. The manipulator tries to accuse the interlocutor of stupidity and illiteracy, which plunges him into confusion. And while he thinks and doubts his abilities, the manipulator takes advantage of the moment and exerts the necessary influence. If a person is rational, then he is confident in his own literacy and realizes that this is all just fiction.
Deny their own words and actions
Manipulators are rarely objective. They remember well every word you said in order to find fault with it at a convenient moment, but they completely forget about their own. The lie may be unconscious - the manipulator’s consciousness has switched to tactics mode, according to the scenario of which he sincerely believes that he did not say or do what he is being reminded of. You argue your point of view with facts, and in response you hear: “Who, me?! There was no such thing." Many people experience mixed feelings at this moment, begin to doubt the fairness of what was said and feel guilty for the charges brought against them.
Personality types
A correct understanding of the personality and character traits of the manipulator makes it possible to effectively interact with him.
George Simon identifies the following characteristics of neurotics and their opposites - individuals with character disorders:
1) Neurotic personality
A neurotic personality is characterized by the presence of a “conflict” between instinctual impulses and remorse, excessive anxiety and a heightened sense of shame and guilt.
The traits of a severely neurotic person contrast sharply with the personality traits of a person with severe character disorders
These differences are critical to keep in mind, both for people who are experiencing relationship problems and for therapists who are seeking to understand and correct an unhealthy situation.
2) Personality with character disorders
The traits of personality disorders are very different from those of neurotic personality.
The most suitable approach to working with them is the cognitive behavioral therapeutic approach.
Thus, the traits of neurotics and individuals with character disorders are almost opposite.
George Simon also gives another typology, in which two opposing types are distinguished: a subordinate personality type and an aggressive personality.
1) Subordinate type personality
Such a person is excessively compliant and habitually retreats from the zone of possible conflict; it is characterized by low self-confidence and “running away” from difficulties; Experts often describe such a personality as passively dependent.
2) Aggressive personality
This personality type is characterized by a tendency to get involved in any potential conflict, self-confidence and emotional independence.
There are also subtypes of aggressive personality - these are open-aggressive (unlimited-aggressive, directed-aggressive, sadistic-aggressive, predatory-aggressive) and hidden-aggressive.
Thus, based on the two typologies given, a typical manipulator can be characterized as a person with a character disorder and a hidden aggressive person.
