How to find a girl for a serious relationship, where you can meet her

There is nothing more important than family.

Still from the film “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past”

So, the realization has come to you that it’s time to finally find the one with whom you will build a family, have children and grow old in some quiet and cozy place. But despite all your determination, you can’t imagine where to look for it and what it should be. Don’t worry, now we will tell you how to find a girl for a serious relationship, who can later become your wife.

It is worth remembering that your search should not scare off the girls who will communicate with you. That is, you should not tell them on the first date that you are looking for the future mother of your children and have them fill out a questionnaire in which your potential wives will need to note the qualities that they possess. Such castings could be arranged, for example, by Jeff Bezos with his billions, and even then, he will have to sacrifice his reputation and shares of Amazon, because the public, of course, will not appreciate it. So...

How to Find a Girl: 5 Steps

It is rare to meet a man who would forever link his fate with the first girl he liked. Most often, representatives of the stronger sex go through periods in their lives when it seems that their main goal is to communicate with as many women as possible, of different ages and types.

But in the end this game of chance loses its meaning, because sooner or later men's values change. In addition, any constant variety becomes monotony.

Another category should include guys who have never been good at communicating with the opposite sex, and, having solemnly accepted the status of “actively searching”, go through life in splendid isolation, hugging their boring pillow in the morning instead of the woman they love.

As an alternative, you can connect your own life path with a mediocre girl, convincing yourself that this is the very fate from which you cannot hide.

In general, it doesn’t matter which category of men you belong to, besides, such a classification is quite arbitrary, but all guys, without exception, periodically have the question of how to find a girl to start a relationship with her?

#1. Don't be obsessed with finding a girl.

Read: the best books on pickup trucks

Paradoxically, for many men, one of their main obstacles in finding a relationship is the desire to find a girl.

They are obsessed with this need, exhibiting obsessive behavior and acting needy. And when guys meet a girl they like, they usually scare her away for the stated reason.

When a woman feels that a man is too interested in her, his desperate zeal to get the girl at any cost can only have the opposite effect.

Don't worry too much about how to find a girl. Instead, allow the relationship process to develop naturally, otherwise you are clearly broadcasting to the world around you that you are ready to do whatever it takes to win a woman’s favor.

This kind of thinking is akin to suicidal thinking.

Women like men who choose who they will associate with. And it is precisely with this philosophy that you must walk through life if you want to be with a bright girl who knows her worth.

#2. Don't jump to conclusions

Another mistake that many men make is wanting to get ahead of things. Nothing is clear or understandable yet, but castles in the air have already been erected in their heads, in which the new acquaintance resides in the form of their beloved wife.

Guys catch their eye on a girl they like, and in the short term they begin to fantasize about kissing and romantic dates. They are in love with an unfamiliar beauty even before they begin to communicate with the girl.

In this way, men send a clear message to their minds that they are impressed and infatuated with this person. The guys are absolutely convinced that she is exactly the ideal girl they have always dreamed of.

As a result, they focus all their attention on the new acquaintance, ignoring other options and flaunting their ingratiation and neediness. Such behavior, having particular negative effectiveness, kills all chances for a favorable outcome of communication.

Be sure that your mind is deceiving you!

It seems to you that this girl is exceptional and has some unique qualities. But in reality, there are thousands of Russian-speaking girls on planet Earth who can become a source of manifestation of the same feelings.

The truly true mental attitude is this: there is no one and only, but there are many possibilities.

Put your obsession away and instead focus on creating an abundance of women in your life.

Instead of being a serial monogamous romantic, focusing your energy on one girl, start going on a lot of dates with many different women.

When you have a large female social circle, regardless of whether all your friends are suitable for you as a girlfriend or not, you become a man who has a choice.

Now you dictate your terms and begin to look more objectively at new women you know, more accurately determining your true attitude towards them, since you were able to eliminate the prism of fear, uncertainty, neediness and ingratiation.

When the right girl comes into your life, you will know it immediately. But you also realize that there can be many such women.

When you can develop peace of mind, girls will instantly notice this, and the level of your attractiveness in their eyes will go up, which will make it much easier for you to move in the desired direction.

#3. Meeting a girl

You won't be able to find a girl unless you get to know her. But initially you need to figure out what kind of girl you want to find.

Then you should go to those places where women, as they say, hang out, to meet a girl and develop communication with her, ending with an exchange of contacts.

After receiving the phone number, you must ask the girl out on a date.

So, let's go.

Define your goal

You need to develop a clear idea of what type of girl you need, mentally drawing an image and identifying the features of your future lover in the smallest detail.

Think about the girls you liked, whom you knew in your life, and about their qualities that sank into your soul.

Your task is to determine the most complete and conscious vision of your goal, without pushing yourself into too strict limits.

Be careful when choosing a girl's physical characteristics, because otherwise you may inadvertently exclude from your attention the beautiful people you would really be crazy about. Don't be too picky, but also don't give in at critical moments.

A 2008 study found that men enjoy talking to girls more when they know who they want to meet.

In addition, later you will be surprised that if you define your goal, girls who match it will begin to appear in your life much more often.

To increase your chances of finding a girl faster, try visualization.

Find a place to meet a girl

If you decide not to correspond with a girl in order to meet her via the Internet, you will have to go out into the street in order to establish contact with an unfamiliar beauty.

By the way, great news: now you know what kind of girl you want to find. For you, this also means that now, based on the type of girl you have determined, you can set where to look for her.

For example, if you want to meet girls who love sports, it makes sense to attend a sporting event or a gym.

It's not so easy to find sports-loving girls in the library. But if you want a friend who loves books, the library might be the perfect place to do your fighting.

You should consider various places that are visited by a large number of people. In some of them there will be more girls suitable for you, in others - less, in others - there will be none at all. The only way to find out is to go there and look around.

Hitting on a girl

Here we come to the most frightening part of meeting a girl for many guys. To be honest, there is nothing wrong with establishing contact with a girl, you just need training and experience. In fact, this is the most interesting part of dating, and it's true.

Now that you have determined what kind of girl you want to find and where to find her, you should start approaching girls and talking to them.

Read in more detail:
How to approach a girl.
How to meet a girl.

Don't worry about being nervous because it's completely normal. And in general, there are only two types of approaches to girls: successful and training, so you are always in profit.

Imagine that this is a game, and you started all this not in order to achieve some goal, but just for fun, because it’s fun. But it's really fun!

Try to approach at least three new girls per day, which will result in you talking to over 20 girls in one week.

If this pace is too harsh for you, determine for yourself an acceptable intensity. For example, you can get acquainted on weekends, and also involve a partner in this matter. But remember that at the very beginning the main aspect is the systematicity of your actions.

Be sociable

The easiest way to relieve stress and relax when interacting with girls is to simply become sociable.

Be sociable with everyone: with neighbors, elderly and young people, inspectors in transport, sellers and customers in line at the store, everyone else.

Becoming sociable is like pumping up your communication muscles. It may seem stupid and too trivial, but once you start talking to strangers, communication becomes a fun game and the fear goes away.

When you start talking to girls, conduct a dialogue with them the same way as with everyone else.

Women are not some strange and incomprehensible creatures. You don't need to dance lezginka for a girl or perform a solo song, just talk to her like an ordinary person.

Ask her how she spent her day, find out what she is doing here, comment on the book she is reading, share your opinion about the environment around you.

As you become more social and practice your dating skills, you'll start to get a lot more signals from them inviting you to start chatting with them.

You may not have learned to pick them up yet, but in 1985, scientists found that women constantly signal to men that they are ready to get to know them. You just need to get their attention and then respond to their subtle signs.

Flirt with a girl

When you're talking to someone new, you should start flirting. Don't worry if you haven't flirted with girls before because it's not difficult.

Read: what is a pickup truck

A simple and effective example of non-verbal flirting is to put a half-smile on your face and look at the girl out of the corner of your eye. Do this if she says something stupid or unbelievable.

An example of verbal flirting: choose a harmless hook and tease the girl with it. If she eats pizza or potato chips, say “Wow! So you’re a junk food lover!” If she's reading a book, you can say, "Wow, what are you stuffing your head with!" Remember to use a playful voice so that the girl knows that you are just joking.

Flirting is necessary to make your intentions clear to a woman in a playful way. Otherwise, either the girl will not understand what you want from her (What if you are planning to sell her something? Or maybe you want to become friends with her?), or your true intention will be too obvious, something like “Girl, I like you. Let's get acquainted, after which we will jump in bed at my house, and then you will become my girlfriend."

Exchange phone numbers

All the actions you take, be it planning, approaching a girl, communicating with her or flirting, will not bring any benefit if you do not exchange contacts with a new acquaintance.

You can simply suggest exchanging phone numbers: “Let's exchange phone numbers. Call the number."

But you can do things a little differently, for example, say: “Let’s meet during the week and have coffee.” If the girl agrees, then ask her for her phone number.

#4. Preparing for a date with a girl

A message with intrigue

About three hours after you say goodbye to the girl, after exchanging phone numbers, you can send her a text message. The purpose of the message is to remind you of yourself and interest the girl.

The text could, for example, be like this: “By the way, your eau de toilette is delicious.”

But if you want to really create suspense, write something like this: “I think I know something about you.” And when the girl asks “So what?”, you will not send her a message, but only answer the next day “This is very personal. Let's do it better when we meet." In response to requests to explain everything in correspondence, you should stand your ground.

It is difficult for you to imagine what effect such a turn of events will have, because the most interesting information for any person is that which is connected with his personality, and at the same time hidden under the veil of secrecy.

By the time of your date, without actually doing anything, you will be able to emotionally bring the girl closer to you, because all this time she will be thinking about you and what you know.

When you meet and she asks, so what do you really know, you can answer:

You have beautiful blue eyes.
You have a very sweet smile.
I noticed one trait in you that for many men does not matter, but for me it is very important. Most modern girls are quite frivolous about relationships between a guy and a girl, but you are not like that. You are ready to completely surrender to your feelings, but only with that person whom you really like very much and sincerely.

Planning a date

If you decide to go on a date with a girl, you can choose one of three options:

Speed dating.
Combined date
Comfortable date.

The choice depends on the interest you feel in yourself from the girl.

If you feel that the level of interest is not too high, it is better to decide to go on a speed date. In this case, you should meet the girl in a cafe, and it is recommended to set the duration of communication to no more than one hour. You simply talk to the girl, let her get to know you better, and then end the date by saying that you need to run.

When you are sure that the girl is definitely interested in you, choose a combination date that involves several stages that the girl will not know about in advance. You can take her for a ride in a car, stopping in some beautiful place in nature, then visit a cafe, and then take a walk with the girl along the embankment. As a result, changing places and events will create the effect of not a first, but at least a second date, bringing you closer to the desired outcome.

If you meet a girl who really likes you, opt for a comfortable date. All you need to do in this case is just invite the girl to your favorite place. This can be any option that most appeals to you, for example, a walk along the city streets, visiting a cafe or amusement park.

Read: where to ask a girl out on a date

Once you've chosen your date, it's time to figure out the details: where you'll meet the girl and what you'll do with her.

You can plan like this:

Meeting a girl next to such and such a store.
The path to the cafe.
Chat with a girl for 45 minutes.
Ending communication.

By planning your date in advance, you can gain control over it, avoid awkward moments, and eliminate uncertainty when making the most important decisions.

However, don't take planning too seriously and don't try to make the date too difficult. And especially don’t plan all your words and actions.

Invitation to a date

Now, a few days after we met, it’s time to call the girl and ask her out on a date.

Read: How to ask a girl out on a date

If you called and the girl did not answer, call back in about an hour again. If the girl doesn’t pick up the phone again, it’s better to never call her again.

Still, anything can happen, so if the girl doesn't answer the first call, send her a text message. In this case, silence on her part will become a reason for you to call another girl.

#5. From dating to relationship with a girl

Make your date a fun and playful event.

A date is not something important and responsible, and certainly not like passing an exam or interviewing for a job.

The girl will be trying to decide if you are the person she wants to invest her time and emotions in, someone who can become one of the most important people in her life.

In order for a girl to make a choice in your favor, in addition to the presence of fundamental masculine qualities, one of the most important elements of attraction will be of great importance - your cheerful playful behavior, as well as flirting.

Women are always able to rightfully appreciate a sense of humor. If you're on a boring date and you're clearly trying to impress the girl instead of being sarcastic, teasing, and flirting while having fun, you're unlikely to succeed.

Investing in Communication

People value the relationships they are invested in. And the more they invest, the higher the value of the investment object becomes.

Why is this happening?

Surely you know this trick: when you are happy, you smile, but when you are sad, and you start smiling, you will feel happy.

For the same reason, when a girl loves, she begins to do something for her lover, but when she voluntarily begins to do something for a new acquaintance, she slowly and inadvertently falls in love with him.

Most guys at the very beginning put all the responsibility of building a relationship on their shoulders, as a result of which they fall in love with a girl, while she cannot feel that elusive spark that is so necessary for her.

To emerge victorious in such situations, you should encourage her to start investing in the relationship. And we're not talking about renting your friend a limousine or buying you an expensive watch.

Instead, invite her to show you interesting photos that she mentioned during the conversation or treat you to her treat. Ask her to sit next to you, bring napkins, cut zucchini, buy gum, etc.

Just look for seemingly small ways to do something for you, and you will notice that her passion for the date and you will only increase.

Ending the date

A date usually ends in one of three ways:

Ending a date without a kiss.
Ending the date with a kiss.
Inviting a girl home.

Here, guys, you will have to act according to the circumstances.

If you yourself didn’t really like the conversation, then there’s no point in trying to give your friend a kiss, she’ll interrupt you. Save your energy for a more interesting beauty.

When you feel that a girl was comfortable in your company, it is better not to let her go without trying to kiss her.

If the date is going well, and you and the girl don’t feel like calling it a day today, invite her to your home.

Keep in mind that if your date is young enough, then if she accepts your invitation, you might want to consider whether she is an easy-to-get girl.

Second date

After a great first date, take a break for one day, then contact the girl and invite her on a second date.

Try to schedule an appointment as soon as possible. If the girl is free on the day you call, why hesitate? Make a second date tonight.

Speed is important in developing relationships. The less time passes from the moment you meet to intimate events, the greater your chances of not being classified as friends.

Intimacy

After the second date, you may need a third date.

By the way, in order to have counterbalances and more relaxed communication with your friend, set up dates with other girls at the same time. Moreover, at the current stage of communication, your new acquaintance is a nobody, because in fact, the relationship begins after the first sexual contact.

Use different places for dates while remaining the same interesting and fun conversationalist.

Don't forget to touch and hug your girl, because tactile sensations are an important step in developing trust and comfort.

At the end of the date, invite the girl home to consolidate what you started.

You found a girl

As already mentioned, intimacy is the starting point in the relationship between a man and a woman. Most likely, but...

Even after the first night spent together, do not give yourself up to be torn apart by feelings, control yourself. A girl can become emotional and then change her behavior.

It is quite possible that she is in love with someone else, and for her you are just an option to satisfy her physiological needs. And in general, during the first 6 months of your relationship with a girl, keep a healthy distance.

Despite this, it is recommended to do the following:

Don't wait too long the next day to contact your girl.
Establish an emotional connection with your friend.
Start systematically spending time together.

In the morning after the girl leaves, send her a message: “The night was wonderful. I hope you’re not too tired :).”

Make an appointment with the girl again in the near future, and then you know what to do.

Gym

The gym is one of the most interesting places to meet people, even if you don't think so. Firstly, there you can not only evaluate most of the physical skills of a potential partner, but also make sure that she is trying to take care of herself, and therefore treats her health responsibly and has a certain amount of willpower (most likely).

Plus, it's very easy to start a conversation with someone in the gym. You just have to come up and say: “Hmm, you’re not doing this exercise quite right, let me show you how to do it.”

or
“Hmm, you’re really good at this exercise, can you show me how to do it?”
.

The right attitude

Many single guys are so eager to have a relationship that they literally become obsessed. They only have beautiful girls in their minds, and everything else fades into the background. If you notice this about yourself, this is an alarming sign.

Do not make the sphere of love and relationships overly significant for yourself. There are still a lot of exciting and interesting things in the world - friends, sports, travel, self-development, music, science - take your mind off it. Do something new and unusual, make your life rich, and people will be drawn to you.

And while you are in a needy pose, it is very difficult to find someone. Normal girls will shy away from your hungry look. Be self-sufficient and open - this is the formula for success.

Stop being embarrassed by loneliness. Even if all your friends are in couples, this is not a reason to feel inferior. While you are still searching, appreciate your freedom and enjoy it.

Neighborhood of your home

You can also make a pleasant acquaintance near your home by meeting a lonely girl walking with a dog or relaxing in a nearby park. The easiest way to start a conversation is if you occasionally bump into each other on your way to work or returning from the store.

However, if you realize that you are seeing her for the first time, use our detailed guide, where we told you how to meet girls on the street and what to talk to them about.

Relationships with a girl from your circle of acquaintances or dating “from scratch”?

You can make a number of arguments about what is better: meeting a person on the street, in the library or anywhere else, or developing a relationship with a girl you already know. Let's try to formulate a series of pros and cons. So, of course, the “circle of acquaintances” option will be ideal for those who do not know where to find the girl they love and what needs to be done for this. A person can simply begin closer communication with the one he likes best, and as such communication develops, he will understand the mood of the girl herself regarding him. This is easier, because for many guys this option allows them to avoid that very “painful” acquaintance. On the other hand, by meeting a person “on the street” (roughly speaking), you can diversify your social circle and thus find a good friend or even a loved one. After all, it may be that no one from the circle of acquaintances can lay claim to such a role. Then another argument for dating someone you know is that you know the girl, and she knows you. This is better because you have seen each other in different situations and therefore can be more confident in the veracity of her behavior and words. This, again, is a clear advantage over a “meeting from scratch.” At the same time, of course, these approaches are individual, because for some it is easier to establish relationships with a stranger, and for others, on the contrary, to start dating a friend.

At work

Despite the fact that in some organizations office romances are prohibited by the basics of corporate ethics, you still shouldn’t miss the chance to find your destiny at work.

Firstly, if you are colleagues, then most likely you should have similar interests, which is very important in a relationship. Secondly, you have to see each other almost every day, and this is like a kind of life together, during which it becomes clear whether you can tolerate each other every day or not.

At school or college

This point is far from being for schoolchildren or students, but for those who will now begin to remember their former classmates and fellow students, in whom for some reason he did not show interest during his studies.

It is worth noting that people who studied with each other in the same class or course have a lot in common. They not only went through the process of personality formation together, but also observed each other's successes, failures and disappointments. Many happy married couples used to be simple classmates and classmates.

Let's continue getting acquainted correctly

Obviously, every acquaintance must be properly continued. To do this, the main thing is to leave a good impression and, of course, establish real contact in the form of exchanging a telephone number or other means of communication. For example, if you live in the same dorm, you can find out where your (now) friend is located and visit her somehow. This is the main thing, because this is how you let each other know that you are interested in further communication, future meetings, and therefore the development of relations to some level. Of course, this may not immediately reach the level of a romance, but at least you will begin to communicate as friends. Having successfully met at least one representative of the fairer sex in this way, you will already know where to find a good girl, and will also gain some experience in communication.

In public transport

As we mentioned earlier, fateful meetings can happen by chance, so public transport definitely shouldn’t be crossed off the list of places where you can meet your future wife.

Starting a conversation, for example, on the subway is much more difficult than when you are both flying on an airplane, so you will need to be smart here.

For example, look at the book she is reading and tell her that you know this author, but this is the first time you have seen this work. Now it’s not so important whether it’s Dostoevsky’s “Crime and Punishment” or Boris Akunin’s most unpopular novel. The main thing is that now there is something to talk about. Although, if you don’t know “Crime and Punishment,” it’s quite possible that the girl may stay away from you.

Online

We cannot turn a blind eye to the power of such a powerful tool as the Internet. Millions of couples have already met online and built wonderful families. Moreover, for this purpose there are not only the usual social networks that we are so accustomed to, but also specialized dating sites where people deliberately look for a serious relationship.

If you want to use this dating tool, feel free to create a page for yourself or use an existing one. By the way, in this article we told you how to properly communicate with a girl online. Therefore, if you need additional recommendations, feel free to contact him.

Independence

If two independent people enter into a relationship, it is always an equal and positive union. Firstly, no one will look up or down on anyone, and secondly, an independent woman does not need a man and does not regard him as a lifeline.

In addition, she is strong, confident and not afraid to be alone. Therefore, in an alliance with her, you will not have to deal with sudden attacks of jealousy or constant fears that you will lose interest in her.

Being emotionally dependent on each other is a very good thing.

What to do so that the first date does not turn out to be the last

Your task is to make a stunning impression. Show your real self, but from the best side. Remember a few tips.

First of all, pay attention to appearance. Clothing can be simple, but modern and perfectly clean and ironed. Hair should be styled, nails well-groomed, beard and mustache beautifully decorated.
Be polite and gallant. Let the girl go ahead, open the door, pour her drinks into a glass. I hope no one needs to be taught this?
Take an active interest in the girl’s life, listen enthusiastically, and keep the conversation going. Don't sit and expect her to entertain you.
Don't brag. There is nothing worse than coming across as an upstart and arrogant.
Walk the lady home after the date and thank her for a wonderful evening. You can immediately express your hope for the next meeting.
Nobody forbids you to try to kiss a girl. If she doesn't object, you've hit the jackpot. If he refuses, don’t be upset. This doesn't necessarily mean she didn't like you. She may want to get to know you better first or is afraid of seeming too approachable. Courage and perseverance will still play into your hands - your chosen one will remember your attempt with excitement.

Common goals and aspirations

A girl who supports you in your career ambitions and personal aspirations is a good candidate for the role of a wife. She clearly understands that in addition to your personal life, you have some goals for self-realization that you need to achieve.

Therefore, she is unlikely to make scandals for you because you spend too much time on work or spend too much energy on it. Because most likely she will have her own ambitions.

In addition, for your marriage to be happy, you also need to support her projects and endeavors, because this is not a one-way game.

Where to look?

Every woman wants to get married. Especially those who repeat at every step: “I’m not going to get married” (those who don’t want to just keep quiet). Just like you, when you are ready to jump out of your pants just to get the chick you like into bed, so the girl tries in every way to show her boyfriend that she is decent. That is, it turns on the mode of a loving, caring woman and a good housewife. It is not difficult to expose those who pretend to be a “good girl”. They can’t stand it for long - it’s hard to play a role that’s alien to you for a long time. Very soon, whims and bitchiness will trample to the top.

However, even before they start fooling around with you, you can sift out:

It’s difficult to build a normal family with a girl from an incomplete family - she herself doesn’t know what it is.
Those whose mother is the main one in the family and whose father is henpecked are not suitable.
there are children from other marriages - she couldn’t live with the father of her children, and she won’t be able to live with you either.
girls who are too active and arrogant will begin to dominate and try to get on the neck - you can’t rehabilitate a bitch.
There is no need for capricious people who are indifferent to you - when a girl doesn’t want to, it’s better not to try.
Pay attention to the manner of communication with others - conflicts are not needed.
sluts aside too - you need a good housewife.
a lover of series and TV shows will turn your life into a cheap series.

“old ladies” are also creepy - the optimal age of a girl is 3-8 years younger than you.
minus girls with inappropriate professions - prostitutes, singers, models, dancers, waitresses, realtors, etc. A girl's profession should not distract her from her family. Ideally, this is a cook, a kindergarten teacher, or a seamstress.

From those who remain, choose.

The ability to stand up for yourself

Now we don’t mean fierce fights with frying pans in our hands and rolling pins on our belts. Family life is family life, so that its participants shine with joy and happiness. However, conflicts between two people who live together are sometimes inevitable, and in these conflicts, disputes should be conducted on equal terms.

So if your girlfriend doesn't allow anyone to insult her (especially you), talk to her in an aggressive tone, or don't let others act like her opinion doesn't matter, that's a very good thing. If she can also put you down properly, then take a closer look, perhaps this is your future wife.

Author: Dmitry Petrosyants