Personal zone. At what distance from each other should you communicate?

It is believed that distance separates people and makes them strangers to each other. This is really so - and not only in the lyrical sense. Psychologists have found that a certain position in space in relation to the interlocutor depends on how you feel about him, whether he is a relative, a friend or a stranger.
Proxemics is a type of nonverbal communication, a way of expressing social connections through spatial relationships. The branch in psychology is called similarly. Proxemics studies the patterns of organization of communication, which is based on the physical relationship between interlocutors.

The term proxemics was coined by Edward Hall, an American psychologist, anthropologist, and intercultural communication researcher. His scientific research led to the conclusion that representatives of different cultures have similar concepts of personal territory in communication, which differ only in the size of this very territory. Thus, Hall identified four zones of interpersonal communications: intimate, personal, social and public.

intimate distance

We allow only the closest people into the intimate area - lovers and spouses, children, parents and best friends. Depending on the closeness of the relationship, the distance ranges from 15 to 45 centimeters (for Eastern European peoples). In other cultures, these figures are different - representatives of Western Europe and the USA feel more comfortable in an intimate field with a radius of 60 centimeters; Residents of southern Europe communicate with loved ones at a distance that is equal to the length of an arm from the elbow to the tips of the fingers.

In this field, comfortable communication occurs in body language, often accompanied by touching. The intrusion of strangers into the intimate area causes an unconscious desire to increase the distance between oneself and the interlocutor. This reaction is inherent in us at the level of the instinct of self-preservation - a person who is so close can quickly attack and strike, because he does not need to waste time covering the distance.

Those who have problems with socialization show a desire to protect their intimate area even from casual contacts. They do not like to travel in public transport, go to a store or to the theater, where they will be forced to be close to other people and even touch them. They can buy out neighboring seats on a train or plane, just to keep strangers away.

Aggressive people have a wider intimate zone - twice as much as calm people. Moreover, they strive to expand their territory at the expense of others - they wave their arms, spread their legs wide. Researchers believe that such people are aggressive precisely because they are endowed with a large intimate field and perceive penetration into its boundaries as a threat.

Proxemics can tell you how happy or unhappy a couple is. For representatives of our culture, the difference between the first and second is only 9 centimeters. Thus, spouses who are satisfied with their marriage keep a distance of 28 centimeters from each other, while dissatisfied spouses keep a distance of 37 centimeters.

Interestingly, with the help of knowledge of the laws of proxemics you can check how people treat you. Observe the distance they try to maintain when communicating. If a person tries to stand next to you, keeps a close distance and unconsciously strives to shorten it, then he sympathizes with you. When he tries to move to the far corner, keeps himself tight, crosses his arms and legs, it means the situation is the opposite.

By the way, in a similar way you can find out the chances of reciprocity among a representative of the opposite sex. It is enough to come closer and find yourself in his intimate zone. The answer will be his or her reaction - if he moves away, then the relationship is nothing more than friendly, but if he remains in place, then the sympathy is mutual. But don’t abuse this method; you don’t need to test it on everyone. This way you can earn the reputation of being an arrogant, familiar and unpleasant person.

Stepped construction principle

Regardless of whether the construction of a new city or just one of its districts is planned, it is necessary to take into account its size, the demographic composition of the population and the characteristics of their traditions, natural and climatic conditions, the type and number of floors of buildings.

The location of the main administrative, cultural and public buildings should also be taken into account. The stepped structure of the residential zone involves the distribution of organizations, enterprises and institutions according to their demand:

those that are visited by people every day - schools, kindergartens, shops and others should be located in close proximity to residential buildings or directly in them;

organizations that are in demand periodically - hairdressers, public service centers, post office, market, libraries, sports complexes, banks, clinics and other facilities should be no further than 2-3 stops from housing;
Occasionally visited institutions - museums, theaters, parks, studios, recreation areas, restaurants may be located in the distance.

Such a stepped development makes it possible to place all the necessary institutions in close proximity to residential buildings.

Personal distance

The personal field of communication is located at a distance of 45 to 120 centimeters from a person and is intended for friendly contacts. The near and far personal zones are divided: in the near one there may be friends and relatives, in the far one there may be colleagues, regular business partners, and buddies.

If the intimate distance in different cultures differs slightly, then with respect to the personal distance there is a much greater variation, which is why sometimes interethnic incidents occur. For example, Russians have a closer personal communication zone than US residents. Because of this, Americans experience real stress when they find themselves in Russia, where dense crowds on transport or in the market are the norm. Russians, in turn, consider Americans arrogant and arrogant. Compare: if several seats become vacant on the subway, an American will definitely sit further away from another passenger; in Russia this is regarded as an insult. Students in US classrooms try to sit in one place, but in Russia they “huddle” in groups.

This value also depends on how confident a person is. People with a positive self-perception allow their interlocutors to get close enough. Those who have complexes about height, appearance and personal qualities try to stay away. If you look into the subconscious, the mechanisms of such behavior are clear - a confident person is calmer, he knows that he can protect himself. Doubting himself, he also doubts his ability to withstand a sudden attack by an enemy invading his personal zone.

How does the violation of these distances affect a person?

Violation of spatial boundaries occurs quite often - for example, in public transport or an elevator, when strangers are forced to stand very close and sometimes touch each other.

At the same time, the reaction is almost always the same - people tend to express a minimum of emotions and avoid eye contact.

In an elevator, people look at the floor indicator, and in public transport - at the windows, while everyone makes a minimum of movements.

This is due to the fact that even a forced violation by another person of the permissible boundaries of communication leads to discomfort. Invasion of personal space is unconsciously perceived as a threat.

The heart rate and blood pressure increase, blood rushes to the head - the body instinctively prepares to protect itself from an intruder of personal territory.

Incorrect violation of distance during communication can lead to rejection by the interlocutor . If you allow yourself to touch a new acquaintance a few minutes after meeting him, he may view this as an invasion of his personal space and henceforth try to avoid you.

As a result, this can hinder the building of trusting relationships not only in the business sphere, but also in the personal sphere.

Public distance

This distance applies to public speaking, which is why it got its name. Close public distance is within a radius of 3.5-7.5 meters from a person and involves small intimate performances. A distance of more than 7.5 meters separates the speaker or artist from the audience in large rooms - lecture halls, theaters, concert halls. Such communication does not imply personal acquaintance of all participants in the event - the speakers are introduced to the audience, but not vice versa.

***

As you noticed, the article paid much more attention to intimate and personal space than to social and public space, since it is at close range that most important contacts for us take place. In close communication, every centimeter of distance separating the interlocutors plays a role. Therefore, it is important to understand all the subtleties of the processes of nonverbal communication that control us at the subconscious level.

Communication zone.

The desire of man to control the space around him has been known for a long time. The space in which he is comfortable. It is customary to distinguish several zones around a person. Anthropologist Edward Hall identified four spatial zones of communication: intimate, personal, social and public.

Content

Intimate communication area.

Intimate area from 15 cm to 46 cm.

The most important zone and the person protects it very much from any intrusion and often quite aggressively.

Children, parents, spouses, very close friends and lovers have access to this zone.

There is another subzone here - super intimate from 0 to 14 cm.

Admission to it is strictly individual. In this zone a person is “with himself”.

Here he dreams, plans, without having to discuss all this with someone, even his wife or best friend.

Admission only with his permission!

Personal zone.

When you first meet, do not rush to give your interlocutor a friendly hug, pat him on the shoulder or touch his hands.

Your invasion of his personal zone causes a stress reaction in him (his heart rate increases, his blood pressure rises and his body is ready to respond to the invasion).

Even if he tries to look friendly and smiles.

As experts say, your behavior will be “anchored” in his subconscious as aggressive.

In the future, you will need a lot of effort to establish relationships.

Social communication area.

The social zone is from 1.2 m to 3.6 meters. At this distance we keep from complete strangers to us and new employees. In an unfamiliar company, in a new team, relationships are always “cool” - social zone distance, and to the extent of building good relationships and establishing contacts, the zones become smaller.

Public communication area.

Public area over 3.6 meters.

At this distance from a person there should be a group of people with whom he will communicate, conduct training, and give lectures.

During one day, our personal zone is constantly invaded by a large number of people (travelling on public transport, at workplaces, concerts, schools and shops).

After all this, we need time to recover. Extroverts and residents of the southern regions prefer smaller personal spaces, while introverts and residents of the northern regions feel more comfortable in larger areas.

And if no one is invading your zone, then you try not to approach their personal zone so as not to cause irritation.

How to determine a comfortable distance for communication.

When greeting each other with a handshake, lower the perpendicular from the interlocutor’s hand to the floor, fix the point.

The distance from this point to the body of the interlocutor will be the radius of the circle (distance) closer, which you are not recommended to approach.

If you want to build good relationships, not cause negative attitudes towards yourself, feel comfortable, work effectively and be healthy, then you must know and respect these boundaries.
The best recipe for you will be a safe distance-comfort zone.
Love yourself.
This is your health and healthy life

Author: · 09.17.2012

Distance between people and norms for its observance. Norms regarding social distancing vary greatly by culture. The types of distances between people are listed below.

For example, people from the Middle East, when communicating with each other, maintain a small distance - no more than a palm. In Western Europe, people sit closer to each other when going to socialize, unlike the French. The Dutch, for example, are located further apart from each other than the French do. All over the world, as soon as you cross the border, you will immediately encounter different norms of distance distribution.

Let's talk about the different distances that exist between people.

Distance : 1.Intimate. This distance is up to 0.5 meters. This is distance between close people (parents, children, spouses, lovers). Entrance to this territory is allowed only to special, “our” people.

2.Personal. This is the distance maintained when communicating with friends. Its distance is from 0.5 to 1.2 meters. Personal distance , in general terms, is the distance that allows you to “touch with your hand” each other.

3.Social. Business contacts and other social interactions - distance from 1.2 to 3.5 meters. This distance, as a rule, eliminates touching, and communication is more formal.

4.Public. The distance of which is from 3.5 meters or more. When people are separated by such a considerable distance, they seem “faceless”, and in order to be heard, they have to raise their voices. Such distances include lectures, reports, etc. Public distance is purely official.

So you can learn a lot about your relationships with people if you pay attention to what distance is more comfortable for you when communicating. Observe this side of your behavior during everyday contacts. Just don't forget about the differences between cultures.

Otherwise, there is a possibility of misinterpreting the remote behavior of your interlocutor. Representatives of different nationalities have their own personal space standards. When this happens, both interlocutors feel uncomfortable during the conversation; one tries to come closer, and the other, on the contrary, moves back. This looks a little comical and can lead to misunderstandings in which one person feels that the interlocutor is behaving rather familiarly, while the other will feel rejected. Therefore, always take into account national characteristics and you can avoid such problems.

I wish you that your distance will always be pleasant and comfortable for you.

Friends Links. Here's the article; Positive wordless communication!

30.11.2012 17:5533783Photo: www.globallookpress.com

In fact, very much so. Haven’t you noticed how sometimes your interlocutor, or just any person standing next to you, begins to cause irritation, even if he doesn’t argue with you, even if he doesn’t look in your direction? Suddenly, seemingly causeless anger is born, bordering on the common expression “I want to kill,” or at least push away. But there is a reason - he came too close, invaded “personal territory”, violated the boundaries of the “communication zone”. A close friend or relative does not cause such irritation - he is allowed to be nearby.

The primary reason for the existence of communication zones among people is animal. It sounds rude, it causes rejection in the developed thinking ability of “homo sapiens,” but in essence it is very true. The distribution of communication zones was inherited from our ancient distant past along with other animal atavisms. But unlike the coccyx, it has not lost its significance. Moreover, this rule has become very important for human mental health.

Look at how far the animals allow you to approach them. If they are rivals - in territory or in the fight for a female - they keep a huge distance. They mark it and vigilantly guard the borders. Anyone who transgresses the pheromone scent line is a potential enemy who needs to be driven away, and if he is a frivolous impudent person, then killed.

The animal partners are wolves and dingoes, who hunt in a pack and are forced to tolerate each other’s close proximity. But even in this case, the acceptable limit is observed. If you hit your neighbor with your tail, you will get a warning grin, even if the hunt for prey is in full swing.

And it happens that a crocodile lets a bird into its mouth. This is another zone of communication - mercantile. You - for me (you will brush your teeth), I - for you (I will allow you to eat the leftovers and will not eat you). There is a common benefit, an interest in each other, which is why the crocodile does not close its mouth. Well, intimate relationships, of course, are built over the shortest distance.

Just like in the wild, we definitely need to separate ourselves. What to do - the instinct of self-preservation, inherent in us by nature, has not lost its meaning. It was we, the people, who began to ignore him. And they punished themselves for this. We get irritated, and angry, and clench our fists, and start stupid quarrels, receiving dozens of stresses every day. And we don’t understand that the reason in most cases is failure to respect the boundaries of the communication zone. The instinct hasn't gone away. Adrenaline is released into the blood, whether we want it or not. And something needs to be done. Fighting or killing is too much, the Criminal Code has weaned us off this, but yelling at each other to our heart’s content is something we can easily do. And we scream, oh, how we scream! On the street, in transport, in a store, at work...

There are nations that greatly respect natural instinct. The British, for example. Of course, they assigned to the animal instinct a completely human concept - the rules of good manners. The names, of course, don’t play a big role, the main thing is that they follow these rules! And look - they don’t yell on the street, bringing themselves to a heart attack or hypertensive crisis, as happens with us...

Yes, because coming too close to a person, touching him even in passing, and God forbid, pushing him accidentally, is a terrible crime against the person. Is there anything worse for an Englishman? Eat! Be considered ignorant.

In the 50s of the last century, American anthropologist Edward Hall identified four spatial zones of communication: intimate, personal, social and public. Modern scientists have edited them a little, but the meaning remains the same: every individual must know and observe the boundaries of what is permitted - if not for self-preservation, like animals, then at least to preserve their health! And those around you, of course.

At what distance from each other should we communicate? Scientists investigated this question and literally measured the distance with a ruler. And they got these numbers.

SOCIAL ZONE. Experts determined its distance to be 3.6 meters. It can also be called public. You need to keep strangers at such a distance when speaking in public.

PERSONAL ZONE. 1.5 meters and further. Business communication and official meetings should take place at such a distance. And any other short-term contacts, for example, communication with a waitress.

PERSONAL ZONE. 1-1.5 meters. In my opinion, the most important zone, within which all human conflicts are formed. This is the zone that we claim in society for ourselves personally. We will not tolerate anyone outside in this zone. Any person violating this zone, approaching us closer than one to one and a half meters, causes irritation, anxiety and, most importantly, a response.

If you approach the boss with any request, violating his personal zone, you will receive a refusal. This refusal will surprise you very much: it seems that he should not have refused, especially if he himself was interested in it. “Why would it be, what kind of fly bit him?” – you think hard. And everything is explained simply - this is a response to your invasion of his personal zone. At this moment, you are perceived as an enemy who needs to do something OPPOSITE in response. That's what he does - he makes a decision AGAINST you. And completely UNCONSCIOUSLY.

Well, if you cross the personal zone of some “Neanderthal” bully, you might even get punched in the eye. This will be his response in his characteristic primitive animal manner. By the way, we noticed how during very emotionally aggressive showdowns, the standing wrestler stretches out his arms towards the approaching opponent and pushes him away. This is a kind of warning (unconscious, of course!), which may be followed by a blow if the opponent does not stop and step back, leaving the personal zone.

PROXIMITY ZONE. 25 centimeters. This zone is not for everyone, but we still let some people into it. We can only allow an old, trusted friend to come so close without damaging our psyche. And also beloved relatives and persons equated to them. After all, this “arm’s length” distance requires absolute confidence in safety.

INTIMATE ZONE. From 0 to 25 centimeters. Only sexual partners fit into this zone. The same area is intended for mother and child. That's all.

These are averages. They may change depending on some reasons. The main ones among them are two.

CLIMATE . More emotional and carefree southerners may let you get closer to them. And the northerners, who have forged a more severe character in the difficult struggle for existence, on the contrary, will try to keep you as far away from them as possible.

NATIONALITY . National traits are very important in communication. For example, emotional Spaniards with an open personality type will easily let you closer than is usually their personal zone. And the Vietnamese can generally hang on you like toys on a Christmas tree, thus expressing their love, gratitude and other positive emotions.

Article on the topicPsychologist: “A child is an immature personality, he should not be limited, but taught”

This must be taken into account when communicating with them, treated with understanding and therefore condescendingly. In general, you need to be patient with such people.

You need to keep your distance with Finns or Swedes. These northern nationalities are very reserved in communication, so their personal zones are longer than generally accepted standards. And it’s better not to approach the British in general, otherwise you will be showered with contempt and written down as a lower class people. England, as the world legislator of the culture of behavior, strictly observes the rules it has created.

Knowing the distance of all types of communication zones, the national and climatic characteristics of the residence of your interlocutors, it will not be difficult to form the correct behavior. For mutual benefit. If you don’t want to get rejected or get punched in the face, don’t overstep your personal zone! Respect the human right to territory!

However, there are moments of forced violation of the communication zone. For example, in crowded transport. As soon as someone touches, pushes, or steps on the foot of someone nearby, some citizens of a nervous state of mind and body begin to throw tantrums and scandals. I really want (even if it sounds naive) for these citizens to understand that in some cases the violation of their personal space is a forced situation, it should not be perceived as an encroachment, you just need to be patient a little.

On the other hand, if the space around you is more or less free, do not approach people, do not violate their personal zone. Even if you don’t touch them with your backpack, its proximity will cause fear and thus irritate...

Tatyana Ressina Medical observer

Spatial arrangement

The orientation of interlocutors in the communication process plays an important role. Any business coach and negotiation specialist will tell you that the atmosphere in an office or classroom (or any other room in general) most directly affects the success of communication. For it to be constructive and give positive results, you need to be able to position your interlocutors in a special way that promotes the right psychological mood.

Next we will talk about the spatial arrangement of communication participants at the table, because It is at this table that in many situations the interlocutors sit, both during business and friendly communication. Proxemics studies this issue very carefully, and experts identify four main positions occupied by participants in communication:

Corner location . With this arrangement, the interlocutors sit diagonally; they are separated by the diagonal of the table. You can almost always notice that good acquaintances, friends or relatives sit this way when communicating. This position is good because the interlocutors can see each other and record all non-verbal manifestations of partners - gestures, facial expressions, pantomime (here it is appropriate to talk about the joint use of concepts: prokesmics-kinesics). The corners of the table play the role of a kind of dividing barrier, thanks to which psychological comfort is created for people. It is also interesting that with a corner arrangement, the table is never divided by people into “their” zones.
Business communication position . The second type of location is more suitable for business meetings. The interlocutors occupy one side of the table, i.e. sitting next to each other. This not only allows, for example, to view documents and other materials together, but also promotes more confidential communication, which does not have a positive effect on the entire process of interaction between people. By the way, during group meetings, people often sit on one side of the table working on the same project, performing common tasks and/or sympathizing with each other.
Competitive-defensive position . The classic arrangement is when the interlocutors take seats opposite each other on opposite sides of the table. This option is typical for opponents with opposing views on the problem under consideration, and in most cases corresponds to business negotiations. People in a competitive-defensive position are separated by a table, which makes communication formal. There is no need to talk about ease and trust here, and if you need to come to a compromise, it is better to choose a different location, for example, a corner one.
Independent position . Another frequently encountered position. Corresponds to situations where people are not interested in communicating with each other. People simply sit at a respectful distance from each other. If it is a table, then on different edges of the table, if it is a bench, then on different edges of the bench, etc. Each of us can see people in an independent position in parks, at bus stops, in libraries or restaurants (we are, of course, talking about people who do not know each other).

Of course, in one article it is unlikely that it will be possible to consider all the interesting things offered by proxemics, but from the above we can conclude that this direction of psychological science is very useful in everyday life. By understanding the intricacies of spatial relationships, we can understand the personality traits of other people and find the right approach to each of them, as well as simplify communication and make it more productive.

If you want to understand this topic in more detail, we recommend reading books on proxemics. Among such books are:

Edward Hall "The Silent Language";
Julius Fast, Body Language. The ABC of Human Behavior";
Alan Pease "Body Language";
Yu. I. Filimonenko “Attitude to space as a function of the subconscious.”

And to conclude the article, we present some interesting data about intercultural differences among people from the perspective of proxemics. This information may also be useful to many.

Industrial zones

In cities with an industrial-residential zone, the threat that enterprises can cause must be carefully calculated. This is especially true in places where there are artificial or natural reservoirs. Water tends to accumulate suspended matter and emissions that enter it directly or through precipitation.

If you develop a residential area without taking into account natural conditions, then it is likely that the ecosystem will be disrupted, which may make it unsuitable for habitation. To prevent this from happening, a master plan for the development of the city is drawn up and approved.

What to do?

Personal rules

First of all, write a list of the rules you live by. Then carefully review each point. Are you satisfied with everything? It’s clear, since you live like this, you’re most likely happy with it, but the question is a little different: what exactly causes the feeling of tension, irritation or confusion? Then think about how you can defend yourself by slightly transforming these rules.
The next time you are communicating with someone and notice that something is wrong, take a break, for example, when you go to the toilet, and think about what exactly affected you, that you reacted with anger, resentment, etc. When you understand, add another limiter to the list of rules.
Remember the situations when you felt discomfort, write them down and come up with your own stop word for each. Because, in the so-called “field conditions”, when you have not yet particularly learned to defend yourself, you may get confused and not react properly. But when you have a reaction template prepared in advance, then at first it will be much easier to cope with the manipulations of others.

Let's say your family is trying to influence you to do something as they see fit. You can stock up on the following phrase: “Thank you for taking care of me, but I know what I should do.”

General development plan

Maps and construction plans of a city or its region provide for:

places for facilities serving the population, providing electricity and heat supply, also on this list are sewerage and water supply, gas mains;
construction of public roads and bridges;
local government facilities.

The master plan for the development of the residential area includes:

goals and objectives that must be accomplished after the settlement of the new area;
list of measures for their implementation;
schematic representation of the boundaries of various urban areas and infrastructures.

The master plan must provide for all the needs of the settlement, taking into account the population size.

Outside or inside?

Carl Gustav Jung established that psychic energy can be directed either outward (extraversion) or inward (introversion).

An extrovert is a sociable person who likes to be around a lot of people and communicate with them. It is difficult for him to be aloof from events. If some social group does not accept him, he becomes sad and feels left out. An introvert is reserved, keeps his distance, tightly controls his emotions, and does not have too many friends. In social contacts, he gives preference to their quality rather than quantity. Prefers to write and read more than to talk. And also strives to visit calmer and quieter places.

The interactive side of communication

Source: Andreeva I.V., Social psychology

The interactive side of communication is a conventional term denoting the characteristics of the components of communication associated with the interaction of people and the direct organization of their joint activities. The goals of communication reflect the needs of joint activities of people. Communication should always involve some result - a change in the behavior and activities of other people. Here communication acts as interpersonal interaction, i.e. a set of connections and mutual influence of people that develop in their joint activities. Interpersonal interaction is a sequence of people’s reactions to each other’s actions unfolded over time: the action of individual A, which changes the behavior of individual B, causes responses from the latter, which, in turn, affect the behavior of A.

The interactive side of communication examines the characteristics of those components of communication that are associated with the interaction of people, with the direct organization of their joint activities.

A special direction has emerged in social psychology, where the interactive side of communication is taken as the starting point of any socio-psychological analysis. This direction - symbolic interactionism - is associated with the name of G. Mead.

Clarifying the social nature of the human “I,” Mead came to the conclusion that the formation of the “I” occurs in communication situations, which are understood not as a set of people’s reactions to each other’s opinions, but as a joint activity. In the process of joint activity, a personality is formed, becoming aware of oneself, and not just looking at other people as in a mirror, but acting together with them.

K. Thomas and R. Kilmenn wrote about the possibilities and typology of joint activities, identifying the following five main styles of behavior in a conflict situation:

adaptation, compliance;
evasion;
competition, confrontation;
cooperation;
compromise.

The classification was based on two independent parameters:

The degree to which one’s own interests are realized and one’s goals are achieved.
A measure in which the interests of the other party are taken into account and realized. If we present this in graphical form, we get the Thomas-Kilmann grid (see diagram), which allows us to analyze a specific conflict and choose a rational form of behavior.

Behavior styles

Evasion (avoidance, withdrawal). This form of behavior is chosen when an individual does not want to defend his rights, cooperate to develop a solution, refrains from expressing his position, and avoids arguing. This style suggests a tendency to avoid responsibility for decisions. This behavior is possible if the outcome of the conflict is not particularly important for the individual, or if the situation is too complex and resolving the conflict will require a lot of effort from its participants, or the individual does not have enough power to resolve the conflict in his favor.

Competition (confrontation) is characterized by an individual’s active struggle for his interests, the use of all means available to him to achieve the goals of power, coercion, and other means of putting pressure on opponents, and the use of other participants’ dependence on him. The situation is perceived by the individual as extremely significant for him, as a matter of victory or defeat: a tough position towards opponents and irreconcilable antagonism towards other participants in the conflict are assumed if they resist.

Adaptation (compliance). The actions of an individual are aimed at maintaining or restoring favorable relations with an opponent by smoothing out disagreements at the expense of their own interests. This approach is possible when the individual’s contribution is not too great or when the subject of disagreement is more significant for the opponent than for the individual. This behavior in conflict is used if the situation is not particularly significant, if it is more important to maintain good relations with the opponent than to defend one’s own interests, if the individual has little chance of winning, little power.

Cooperation means that an individual is active in searching for a solution that satisfies all participants in the interaction, but does not forget his own interests. An open exchange of views and the interest of all parties to the conflict in developing a common solution are assumed. This form requires positive work and participation from all parties. If opponents have time, and solving the problem is important for everyone, then with this approach, a comprehensive discussion of the issue, the disagreements that have arisen, and the development of a common solution while respecting the interests of all participants are possible.

In a compromise, the actions of the participants are aimed at finding a solution through mutual concessions, at developing an intermediate solution that suits both parties, in which no one particularly wins, but no one loses either. This style of behavior is applicable provided that the opponents have the same power, have mutually exclusive interests, they do not have a large reserve of time to find a better solution, and they are satisfied with an intermediate solution for a certain period of time.

In competition and cooperation, confrontation is a necessary condition for developing a solution. Considering that when resolving a conflict, it is assumed that the causes that gave rise to it are eliminated, we can conclude: only a style of cooperation will help to fully realize this task. When avoiding and adapting, the resolution of the conflict is postponed, and the conflict itself becomes hidden. Compromise can only bring a partial resolution of conflict interaction, since a fairly large area of mutual concessions remains, and the causes have not been completely eliminated.

In some cases, it is believed that confrontation within reasonable, controlled limits is more productive in terms of conflict resolution than smoothing, avoidance, and even compromise, although not all experts adhere to this statement. At the same time, the question arises about the cost of victory and what constitutes defeat for the other side. These are extremely difficult issues in conflict management, since it is important that defeat does not become the basis for the formation of new conflicts and does not lead to an expansion of the zone of conflict interaction.

The ideal strategy is to finally resolve the conflict, the essence of which is to find and eliminate its causes within the framework of voluntary cooperation of the parties. This strategy benefits everyone. First, it turns opponents into partners. Secondly, the problem is not driven deeper, but ceases to exist altogether. Third, the benefits gained by the parties exceed those that could be obtained with any other strategy. This strategy is based on treating conflict as a normal phenomenon.

What determines the size of the so-called boundaries?

The size of the boundaries depends on the density and size of our biofield. Density in this case has priority.

If the field is dense, then there is good protection; if the field is “broken,” then there is no such protection.

What is protection needed from?

From the energies emitted by another person, from his thoughts charged with negativity, from his experiences.

If there is no protection, then his energy calmly penetrates our field and begins to rule there.

I would like to note one thing: if a person does not have any negative vibrations of his own, then strangers will not be able to have a strong influence.

In this case, “like attracts like” works. If the thinking style is more negative and a person expects troubles in his life, then they come.

Although, as a person himself, it seems that if he thinks about any troubles, it is only for the purpose of prevention.

But the universe takes everything literally - you thought about nasty things - you get nasty things!

But back to boundaries, do you need to somehow increase your boundaries?

In my opinion, it is a must!

Your own self-respect, dignity - all these feelings about yourself increase your boundaries of your own personal space.

People who have less of it will “shrink” even more to increase the density of their field. This means that your influence on other people will be more significant.

The most important thing is to use it for good!

I look forward to your feedback, what do you think about your own personal space boundaries?

Best regards, Natalia.

Nonverbal communication

Our body language, compared to other verbal (speech) means of communication, is unique. If you imagine that it is he who carries from 60 to 80 percent of the information transmitted to the interlocutor, it is easy to understand the need to interpret this method of contact. If we want to be sure that we accurately understand a person, we must combine information from the body and verbal expressions into one overall picture.

Who among us has not encountered a feeling of vague anxiety when communicating with a person when he claimed one thing, but subconsciously you felt his falsehood. You will say that this is intuition and good for those who have it. In fact, it is easy to develop intuition by observing your interlocutor and, knowing the specific meaning of gestures, draw the right conclusions.

The structure of speech (verbal) communication is:

Meaning and meaning of words, phrases. An important role is played by the accuracy of the use of the word, its accessibility and expressiveness. Phrases must be constructed correctly and be intelligible to the listener. Sounds and words must be pronounced correctly; intonation should be expressive and correspond to the meaning of what was said.
Speech sound phenomena: speech rate (fast, medium, slow); voice pitch modulation (smooth, sharp); voice tone (high, low); rhythm of speech (uniform, intermittent); voice timbre (rolling, hoarse, creaky); intonation, diction of speech. Observations show that the most attractive in communication is calm, smooth, even speech.
Expressive voice qualities. These include characteristic specific sounds that arise during communication: laughter, chuckles, sighs, whispers, crying; separating sounds - coughing, sneezing; zero sounds - pauses; sounds of nasalization - “uh-uh”, “hmm-hmm”, etc.

However, words, sounds and intonations in a person’s daily communication account for (according to research) only 45%, and the remaining 55% comes from non-speech interaction.