09.02.2021
“I like him so much, but I can’t talk about my feelings,” “She doesn’t even look at me, how can I let her know that I like her?” “Why does she chat so easily with others, but when I appear she becomes silent or leaves? How I want to be closer to her! What to do? How to win her favor?”, “He flirts with my friend, but doesn’t pay attention to me.”
It is difficult to find a person who would not have such thoughts. You are in love, and this feeling is not easy to keep to yourself, but at the same time it is scary to admit it. Even if you decide, how to do it so as not to feel awkward or, even worse, not to be ridiculed? And how can you tell someone so dear to you not to consider the confession a stupid joke?
But it’s also impossible to expect him or her to somehow guess your feelings themselves. You don't sleep at night, scroll through Instagram, look at her/his photos for hours... Psychologists at the children's helpline, having listened to many stories about falling in love at your age, have collected tips and advice on how to express your feelings.
Should you confess your love? All the pros and cons
To talk about love or not is everyone’s business. If emotions run high, then you can say it, but if you haven’t decided, then it’s better to wait. It will be very disappointing if a man at the moment of revelation declares that he is not ready for a serious relationship, or remains silent.
It is better if the man confesses first, and the girl reveals her feelings in response.
As psychologists say, a man is a hunter, he is not interested in getting ready-made “prey” that he wanted to look after. Therefore, it is worth waiting for response words. But it happens that the decision is delayed, and not for a month or two, but for years.
So how can you find out whether he needs you or whether it’s just convenient for a man to meet with a permanent lover who is faithfully waiting? This is where you can confess your love by asking if he has reciprocal feelings or if everyone is just wasting their time.
What speaks in favor of recognition:
- opportunity to get closer;
- this will allow him to be convinced of the seriousness of his partner;
- This is how the sincerity of a relationship is assessed.
Arguments against":
- you should not speak if you are not sure of it;
- if you don't meet often;
- when the relationship is based on friendship, not love.
Friends, you may like: How to call a guy sweetly, affectionately and tenderly to make him feel good
Moral preparation for recognition
So, we looked at the main reasons why he is “silent”. If there is no fear that you are a “spare toy,” be decisive and admit it. Just be prepared beforehand and carefully plan the day and location of the event. You don’t need to do this spontaneously, you need to know what words to say at what time of day. After all, how stupid and strange a confession will look in front of a tired person, exhausted from work. As soon as you start, he will simply doze off. Well, of course, these are extremes, just an important moment in life should take place in a beautiful environment and with complete relaxation and harmony. And yet, of course, I wouldn’t want to upset you, but it still makes sense to prepare for any development of events, including refusal and misunderstanding.
When to confess your feelings
If you decide to confess your love, then you should say it in private, during a romantic date. This way it won’t hurt if his answer to the question is negative or doesn’t come at all.
You need to confess your love at a time when the man is not busy. It's perfectly reasonable to tell him how you feel during a romantic candlelit dinner. It is then that you can count on a response consent.
You should only talk about your feelings if you are 100% sure of them. Therefore, at least 6 months must pass before this moment so that you can get to know the person well.
After six months, try to understand whether you have fallen in love with the guy. Pay attention to what your heart says, whether you want to be with him, care for him, please him, say pleasant words.
When should you talk about your feelings?
- if the relationship with your loved one lasts long enough and there is confidence in the seriousness of his intentions;
- if the relationship lasts long enough, but the man’s intentions regarding the chosen one are not clear. In this case, a conversation on the topic of feelings will help to dot the i’s in order to avoid future disappointment from unfulfilled expectations and wasted time;
- if a man has already become a beloved husband. Periodic outbursts of feelings and declarations of love will help maintain harmonious relationships throughout the many years of the spouses’ life together;
Advice for a 14 year old teenager
First love, the most vivid and exciting feeling, usually comes at the age of 14-16. Many teenagers are embarrassed by their feelings; they don’t know how to behave. Usually, behind this lies the fear of a new feeling, or the fear of being rejected.
To overcome fear and doubt, you need to imagine what will happen in case of refusal - you can imagine situations that are even absurd.
By clearly outlining the various scenarios, you can understand whether this is something to be afraid of, perhaps this is not a critical situation and you shouldn’t worry so much. Yes, it may be offensive and unpleasant, but life does not end there.
Sometimes teenagers hide their feelings because they do not want to impose themselves or bother a person:
- In this case, it is worth understanding that the reaction of others does not depend on him, it is a purely personal choice of a person - to accept or reject.
- But on the other hand, without trying, you won’t know.
You can try to confess your feelings through social networks, anonymously, or pass a note through a friend. The object of love will not feel discomfort, but rather will be pleased by someone's sympathy.
What mistakes to avoid
When telling your beloved man about your feelings for him, you should avoid mistakes such as:
A beautiful declaration of love , in your own words, to tears, in prose, in poetry or in another form, spoken once, is better than importunity. You shouldn’t bombard a man with a lot of messages with confessions and overload him with frequent conversations on this topic.
It’s better to prepare a speech once and surprise your loved one than to send him pictures with hearts a hundred times a day.
Excess. A man should not make passionate confessions like: “I will die for you!” or “I’m ready to do anything for you!” This is not a feminine, but a masculine style of declaration of love - the style of a conqueror. There is no need to convince a man that his interests are valued above the interests of his beloved.
Poor timing of confession. It is better to talk about such topics in a romantic setting, and not when a man sits down on the sofa after work to watch a live broadcast of a football match. In the latter case, there is a possibility that he will not pay due attention to the conversations.
The pursuit of personal gain from a declaration of love. When the confession is insincere and is used as a tool to influence another person to achieve some personal goal (for example, to push a man to quickly propose marriage, or to buy expensive gifts), it will not make the right impression and can only violate the fragile trust in relationships.
You should confess your love to a man without embarrassment or embarrassment. You should not lower your head down - it is much better to do this while looking straight into your eyes. You should not actively gesticulate - it distracts from the words. Also, don’t laugh so that the man doesn’t think it’s a joke.
And the main thing is to think in advance what will be said and in what form.
The feeling of love overwhelms a person. I would like to tell you about it in a special way so that this moment will be remembered by both for a long time. Young girls often wonder how to make a declaration of love to a guy. There are many ways to pronounce cherished words. This can be done in poetry, or better yet in prose, in your own words, via SMS, even with a bit of humor.
How to get away from patterned behavior
It is unlikely that anyone would argue with the fact that the most beautiful feeling on this mortal earth is love. Thanks to her, humanity continues to live on the planet. And he doesn’t just live - he feels true pleasure from life, he can rejoice, be upset, sad, rejoice. If it is not there, then you have to drag out a gray existence, the days pass monotonously, without bright colors or emotions.
As soon as this feeling “flies” into our life like a spring swallow, everything changes in an instant. What previously seemed uninteresting and did not attract our attention immediately turns into an amazing vision, a unique thing. We immediately have meaning in everything - living, studying, working, communicating. Can anyone argue with the fact that the eyes of a woman in love and her indifferent friend are radically different? In the first, they glow, radiate beauty and joy, in the second, there are no “signs” of life. Therefore, all representatives of the fairer sex strive to be loved and desired. Without these categories there is no point in starting anything. But what to do if the object of desire is silent? The logical step is to take the initiative.
How to act correctly
So, you have decided to “push” someone who is dear to your heart to take decisive action. But you should never rush; you need to think about your actions in detail. Assess your strengths and think about whether you can clearly and beautifully express your feelings? If you are not completely sure, postpone the important “event” and prepare even more carefully. But do not stop flirting, continue to lure your chosen one with feminine tricks and do not allow an outsider to interfere in the relationship, otherwise you risk being left with nothing.
Be proactive, but not intrusive
Most representatives of the male population love initiative girls, but you must admit that an annoying “fly” never delights you. If you want to “tame” an object and make tireless attempts, act with regular importunity, you are doomed to failure. Do not forget about the leadership qualities of men, this is precisely their purpose from Mother Nature. And if someone tries to intercept his dominance, then bewilderment arises, aggression towards the girl, whom he, in theory, should protect and protect. As soon as she plays the role of “first violin” in their love duet, mastering “masculine” traits, the man immediately pushes away from her. After all, he needs a weak and fragile lady, and not the second guy in a couple.
It is completely natural for a man to make any decisions on his own for the reason that this has been the case since ancient times. It was the male who thought about how to find and bring the slaughtered mammoth to the hut, then the worries of farming, etc. fell on his shoulders. And the women had to wait for them at the family hearth with the spoils. So which one of them was supposed to make the decisions? Of course, he is a breadwinner, exposing his life to danger in search of food. The skills given by nature have not changed, and modern women absolutely should not change them. Let him continue to be a leader and rely on his own strength.
As soon as a man turns into a pliable kitten, the woman will immediately lose interest in him. And here natural reflexes also come into play - why does she need a second “skirt” next to her? A wise lady will make sure that any of her initiatives will seem to come only from him, and she will only help them manifest themselves.
The second important point in relationships is the difference in the level of emotionality. And as everyone already understands, for women it is many times higher. Any splash in the eyes of men becomes a huge wave that is difficult to “swim over,” while for them everything happens very calmly and smoothly. And it is not surprising that the lady’s actions unsettle the most reserved comrade. And representatives of the fairer sex mistakenly ruin relationships in the bud by incorrectly distributing the energy of feelings. It is necessary to subtly, gently, if you want to diplomatically set your goals, and with the temperament of a hunter and conqueror, you should not strive to make a prey out of a man. So she not only runs the risk of losing the relationship, but also turns into a man “in a skirt” with all his qualities. In order not to become a victim of such consequences, it is important to remain tender, feminine, and fragile to the end. It is these character traits given by nature that allow a woman to find that same protector who will have true, masculine character traits.
Why is he timid
No matter how strong feelings he may have for his passion, if there is natural shyness, timidity, it will be very difficult to take the first step. Rather, he will continue to live with dreams, hope, while away the evenings alone, hand her a coat, bring medicine, etc. In short, he is ready to do anything for her, but he just can’t decide on the main action. Why? Most women are sure that he does not love or is not sure of his feelings. Believe me, most often the problem lies in his indecision, and not the strength of his feelings. Let's consider the reasons for the strange behavior of a man and try to understand what is happening exactly with your object of claim.
- The most common reason is fear of rejection. It is for this reason that a man is afraid to admit his feelings and utter the main words. Many ladies do not know that not only the weaker sex, but also the stronger sex is afraid to hear a refusal in response and delays the important moment for a long time. Men are very self-critical, and having met love, they may believe that they are unworthy of their passion, she is too good for him, and may laugh in his face when confessing. Or maybe he also had a relationship before in which he suffered a collapse and heard the word “No!”
- Everyone knows the fear of taking responsibility, a decision on which the entire future fate will depend. Moreover, this reason is the most common among the stronger sex. The problem creeps into the nature of modern men from childhood. Their parents spoiled them and did not give them a chance to take on obligations, responsibility, or bring things to the end. By the way, the “defect” also often appears among girls. And, as a rule, when you are already an adult, your behavior flows by inertia. What should I do? Be patient and wait, behave in such a way that he still shows his concern and says the main words. But be warned, this may take years. What if someone appears on the horizon who can take the initiative into her own hands? So don't be shy, take action!
- State of uncertainty. If he is silent and does not admit his feelings, think, maybe he has someone else? Perhaps he still can't forget about his past love? In such cases, men quite often rush from one woman to another and do not know which one to choose. Here you really need to start on your own, at least in order to decide for yourself whether he is with you or not.
- His past relationship became a living hell for him, and he suffered many disappointments with his ex-girlfriend. Only a frank and trusting relationship will help him open up to you and find out the true nature of your romance. You must also openly show what kind of person you are, how you feel about the institution of marriage. In short, he must stop being afraid and boldly enter into romance without looking back.
- It’s his nature to wait. He is used to the fact that everything flows as usual and the moment will come when everything will be clear. After all, it’s no secret that women love with their ears, and men with their eyes. So, he is ready to admire your figure and stunning appearance for years, everything suits him and he doesn’t want to change anything. But this does not mean that at one moment he will easily switch to another “skirt”. Such men are absolutely sure that it is not necessary to say those very words, because everything is already clear.
- He evaluates your moral, personal, and maybe even physiological qualities. You may not like it, but it is in nature that he looks out not only for a woman with whom he is not ashamed to go to restaurants, but also for the potential mother of his future children.
- He is a natural narcissist and is waiting for recognition to come from you. The gentle nature of such a person will not interfere with further relationships, and there is nothing wrong with the fact that you, and not he, take the initiative. Believe me, as a sign of gratitude for the high appreciation of his merits, and this is what recognition implies, he will do anything for you. Immediately after your words are spoken, he will begin to act very actively. Before you have time to blink your eyes, a stunning ring will flaunt in front of you, accompanied by a reverent marriage proposal.
Be that as it may, a woman shouldn’t wait long, you understand - the woman’s age is short. It is important to understand for yourself whether he needs you or not; maybe it makes sense to find another, more stable person who will not play cat and mouse with you.
I recommend reading: Where are your soulmate: advice from the best psychologists.
Ways to declare love
The ways to declare love to a man are as varied as the possible interests of men.
Most common methods
- traditional - tell your loved one about your feelings in your own words;
- confession in prose in your own words;
- lyrical - confession in verse;
- artistic - draw a picture to your loved one about your feelings for him;
- technical - declaration of love via SMS or via Internet resources (email, social networks, etc.);
- musical - dedication and performance of a song to your loved one about the feelings you have for him;
- culinary - a short message to your loved one on the surface of the dinner prepared for him. For example, on a cake with cream or on oven-baked “French potatoes” with sauce, write two words: “I love you”;
- intermediary - through his favorite radio station, or an advertising banner in front of his window;
- creative - after analyzing what a man loves, come up with a confession suitable only for him.
How to hint to a girl that I like her
Rule | The behavior of the young man |
Get into her social circle | It's not easy to start building a relationship with a girl you don't even know. Try to arrange everything so that the face-to-face meeting still takes place. Find mutual friends, create a surprise effect, ask to be introduced to each other. Remember how this happens in the movies and act as the director of your own destiny. Only by starting to communicate with the person you are interested in can you achieve her favor towards you. |
Actively ask mutual friends about it | This behavior will allow you to better learn information about the young beauty. In addition, your questions will definitely be passed on to her. Therefore, she will be able to determine in absentia what you care about. Don't forget that your reviews should contain only positive emotions. |
Stand out among her friends | To attract attention, try to become the “life of the party.” Over time, your comrades will begin to speak flatteringly about you, which will undoubtedly interest your chosen one. Confront her every chance you get. If the lady is observant, she will understand that these meetings are not accidental. |
Get involved in her interests | You can't think of anything better to get closer to, it's to find common topics for conversation. When a girl realizes that you are interested in the same thing as her, she will definitely want to talk with you about this topic. And compliments, help and care during the conversation will double the score in your favor. |
Don't forget about surprises | Gifts are perceived positively by everyone, especially girls. This does not mean at all that you should present your sweetie with an expensive diamond necklace every day. It would be quite appropriate to give something expensive and significant for a birthday, and various little things will help you express your feelings every day: a chocolate bar, a funny postcard, a soft toy, etc. |
Discover the poet's gift within you | It would be appropriate to send her by email one of the works of your own composition, dedicated to the lady of your heart. If you don't have this talent, don't worry. Just find a suitable poem on the Internet that will also please your sweetheart. |
Start dating alone | Having overcome a consistent series of previous points, you can begin more active actions. If all your actions and actions were perceived favorably, then proceed to more active rapprochement using private meetings. You can come up with the most innocent reason: a new movie released, for example. Many girls feel relationships very well and understand when they really like them. |
Become friends | However, keep in mind that friendships may remain at this stage of development. Yes, the girl will get used to the fact that you are always nearby, that there is someone to turn to for help in difficult times, but nothing more. Therefore, try to make every effort so that such relationships soon become strong family ties. |
Note to boys what girls like in guys: What girls like in guys is the most important thing for them
Make beautiful confessions
Obviously, all your actions must be carried out in accordance with the current situation. In addition, do not forget that any option presupposes a speedy transfer of relations to a new stage of its development.
Touching confessions in your own words (in prose) to the point of tears and goosebumps
The most beautiful, touching and tender wishes to your LOVED one in prose with meaning, so that it touches your soul
Touching to tears, beautiful and tender wishes to your beloved guy in chic prose
Agree, not every man will like a poem, and not every girl will be able to read it easily and without anxiety at the right moment. It’s good that in addition to rhyming lines, there is another declaration of love - ordinary prose. How to confess and present this magnificent surprise is entirely your choice. You can, of course, say it at a meeting, but the most memorable way is to write a letter and send it, like in the old days, by mail (an electronic version is also allowed).
Here are some examples:
- “I miss you terribly. When you leave, I feel very lonely and sad. Gentle caresses and touches, your warm hands are all I need in this world. Hug me, and in return I will give you all my endless tenderness and love.”
- “Do you know what I dream about? To fall asleep next to you, holding tightly to your tender hands, to watch you laugh, frown, and writhe your nose funny when you speak. And I also want to smell your perfume on my clothes. Do you think these are too simple dreams? Perhaps, but for me they are the most important, because I love you!”
- “Do you remember that September day when we met our eyes? I immediately realized that you are the guy I’ve been waiting for all my life. I don’t have time to express words of gratitude to those higher forces that brought us together. And in this letter I want to admit that my feelings for you are only becoming stronger every day. Love you!"
More on the topic: Good morning to your Beloved, beautiful wishes in prose (in your own words)