Internal anxiety, the difficulties of relationships, haunting failures and failures, psychosomatic diseases that come from nowhere - all this interferes with life, does not allow one to believe in the future and respect oneself, causes not only mental, but sometimes physical pain, and can lead to despair and depression. At all times, mental restlessness, confusion of thoughts and feelings have brought torment to a person and led him to seek help. It was provided by priests and monks, confessors and simply close friends. Today, anyone in need of such support can seek, among other things, professional psychological help .
Those who decide to turn to a psychologist or psychotherapist for the first time have many fears and questions: how they will work with him, what this work consists of, whether he will fall under a kind of “X-ray” that will highlight what a person is not ready to show to another , what diagnosis will be given to him. Work experience shows that all these worries recede into the background, bringing forward a great desire to speak out, to be heard, understood and to receive help - relief from internal pain.
Help from a psychologist is, first of all, an opportunity to get rid of the feeling of loneliness when you are left alone with your problems, an opportunity to talk about them openly, without fear of negative value judgments. After all, the presence of a problem does not characterize you as “bad” or “wrong”, but only speaks of temporary inability, the inability to recognize its true causes and see solutions, which, as a rule, go beyond the usual ideas and patterns of behavior.
An open, confidential conversation about the complexities of life and the feelings experienced, a joint analysis with a psychologist of past events and the present that follows them, the choice of solutions that can resolve a painful situation and ease the suffering of the soul - this is what professional help and support implies, what we offer you .
What kind of psychological assistance do we provide?
We have accumulated extensive experience in solving the following problems faced by clients who contact our center:
Treatment of depression
Psychological consultations and treatment of neuroses
Psychological consultations and psychotherapy for phobias
Psychotherapy and treatment of psychosis
Psychoanalysis of sexual deviations
Psychological assistance to families (couples) and children
Psychotherapy for eating behavior: anorexia and bulimia
Free consultations with psychologists on the psychological forum
I'm worse than others and don't deserve love
It arises when it seems to us that we may be rejected not only by strangers and clients, but also by loved ones. The “projection of distrust” is triggered: we shift responsibility for our results to the world around us, which we do not trust. We don’t understand why people are close to us and we are afraid that they will not accept our success.
Usually the appearance of this fear means that we are afraid to take responsibility for the fear of not being realized.
As a result, it turns out that we lose points at work, hiding behind another person: it’s not us who don’t go to courses, but the family requires too much attention, it’s not us who are embarrassed to ask for a raise, and our husband doesn’t want us to get more than him.
If we are not fulfilled because of a person, we put him on a psychological meter: he doesn’t know yet, but he already owes us a lot. The relationship is gradually deteriorating.
To get rid of fear, you need to find its cause. Most likely, the person does not prevent you from developing, but, on the contrary, does not allow you to face your vulnerability, inexperience, and worthlessness.
How do we help?
We offer professional psychological assistance in the form of psychological consultations and long-term psychotherapy.
The difference is that consultations can be one-time in nature and devoted to a specific narrow topic stated by the client. Psychotherapy is long-term, in-depth work focused on the client’s personality. Psychotherapy with elements of psychoanalysis helps to identify the origins of problems, understand them, and carry out deep changes in character that inhibit personal development and interfere with a full life.
Depending on your personal preferences and recommendations of the psychologist, you can choose one of the proposed forms of work.
I don't want to take responsibility
We experience this fear in three cases:
- when we pretend that we are adults and ready to work, but inside we still feel like children and are afraid of not being able to cope;
- when we are afraid of not meeting the requirements of the environment;
- when we compete with ourselves of yesterday and worry that we will not be able to repeat our success.
To get rid of this fear, you need to accept that:
- may not agree with our opinion;
- our words may be questioned;
- we may be reproached for something.
And that's okay.
Another person's opinion is not a threat to us and our opinion. The world is not evil. The world is different.
Background
When your soul hurts and your thoughts are racing, the main thing is to achieve a happy balance with the world of people and with yourself. The institute of “helping the soul” has a centuries-old history, but it is assistance based on the achievements of special research, using various techniques, that dates back a little more than 100 years.
The reason for the emergence of psychological help as such, the need to turn to it, was formulated by Erich Fromm, a German philosopher, social psychologist and psychoanalyst: “Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem.” This problem was resolved by different schools of knowledge: from Eastern to Western and European. Psychological assistance in its development went through two periods: the religious-mystical and the stage of modern scientific psychotherapy.
Initially, the “problem of existence” was solved using the methods of religious traditions. The search for its origins was carried out solely on the basis of ideas and dogmas. Appropriate methods for solving were proposed: for example, meditative practices in Eastern teachings, so-called metaphorical communications used by both Eastern and Western schools - the Sufi parable “The Tale of the Sands”, “Ten Bulls of Zen”, fairy tales, parables, sayings, everyday narratives . Trance communications were also used based on rhythmic monotonous actions or repetition of words - ritual dances, chanting mantras, prayers; hermeneutical procedures - fortune telling on cards, runes, etc.; body-oriented methods - for example, yoga; sacred symbolism - the use of totems, amulets, appeal to the symbolism of religious services; the phenomenon of catharsis - for example, the process of confession, talking through a problematic situation.
All these methods, enriched with scientific knowledge, are still used in one form or another, bringing positive results. Thus, metaphorical communications are reflected in fairy tale therapy, body-oriented methods are used both as a separate direction and in combination with psychoanalysis; elements of catharsis are easy to observe during a consultation - one of the forms of help from a psychologist.
If life has stopped making you happy and has lost its meaning, if relationships with loved ones have turned into a series of quarrels and deep mutual resentments, if you are having a hard time with yourself and you don’t see a way out of the situation, it’s time to seek psychological help. Finding the source of mental pain, realizing the real problem, changing habitual patterns of behavior - this is the path along which we invite you to walk together. “Change your thinking and you will change your life ,” - during the consultation process you will definitely appreciate the correctness of these words of Brian Tracy.
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Psychology first hand: psychological publications
Love or neurosis?
We all want to love and be loved, if we succeed, we feel happy. To this extent, the need for love, or more precisely, the need to be loved, is not neurotic. In a neurotic person, the need to experience the love of other people is exaggerated. If the people around them are less kind than usual, this spoils the mood of a neurotic and causes phobias or severe depression. He clings to people... He may need psychological help and psychotherapy. It is important for a mentally healthy person to be loved, respected and valued by those people whom he values; neurotic need for love is obsessive and indiscriminate
How to deal with stress?
When stress becomes chronic and mental symptoms develop, it becomes obvious that something needs to be done. Coping with stress can take many forms: from desperately trying to find a way to “relax” to seeking help and support from loved ones. Sometimes the desire to escape from stress leads a person to what could be called destructive methods of self-support - drug addiction
Psychological consultation
What happens during a consultation with a psychologist is certainly not magic. In a serious process of psychological counseling, the client, together with the psychologist, sooner or later becomes able to work on his initial - sometimes hidden, sometimes explicit, “magical” expectations regarding his psychologist and psychological counseling in general. Then comes the realization that the paths of psychological change are not so much magical and supernatural, but rather human, depending on two people who, being next to each other, are able to talk about something really important, relating not to something beyond, but to what is happening between them
How to diversify relationships? Psychologist's advice
If your sex life has become monotonous and predictable almost to the point of disgust, take immediate action. Let sex be the first thing you do in the morning, not the last thing in the evening. Do this in a new environment, in new underwear, in a new mood. Even the most amazing lover will get bored if you have learned all his tricks by heart. In the initial period of an intimate relationship or marriage, there was no talk of monotony. Mutual attraction and impatience forced them to have sex in different settings and with all possible variety of positions and techniques. However, over time, what was new became familiar and even boring.
“I’m afraid to live”: why does this happen and how to help yourself?
We are reading encouraging news. The coronavirus is receding, shops and parks are opening around the world. People go back to work and try to live a normal life again. For some reason, not everyone succeeds. “I’m afraid to live” is one of the most popular requests at doctor’s appointments today. So why are many of us afraid to live?
The risk of contracting coronavirus has not disappeared. Economic problems in the country are growing. Finally, we found ourselves face to face with a brave new world, to which we must somehow adapt: wear a mask even in the heat, sit at a considerable distance from others, apply for a pass to go about our business, constantly remember not to touch your face . And God forbid you sneeze somewhere in a store, because then the “epidemiological police” in the person of pensioner grandmothers from the checkout line will almost come at you with pitchforks and torches.
The first thing you need to do is tell yourself honestly: the crisis is not over yet. In a sense, it has just begun. The rules of the game in this world have become more complicated, and there will be no going back. For some this means looking for a new job, for others it will be necessary to change their qualifications; Some lost loved ones during the pandemic; for others, self-isolation ended in divorce.
Important questions
The personal universe of many people is now in ruins. The first step is to acknowledge this fact. Then you can move on. What to do? To start, ask yourself a few questions.
"What do I want?"
These two months may have helped you listen to yourself for the first time and understand that you are not living the way you would like.
“What exactly am I afraid of?”
The phrase “I'm afraid to live” usually hides some specific fear. This could be the fear of failure or the feeling of the meaninglessness of life, the fear of doing something imperfectly or receiving the disapproval of others. Try to answer yourself honestly: what exactly are you afraid of?
“What can I change?”
We cannot influence the virulence of the coronavirus, so COVID-19 remains highly contagious, and nothing can be done about it. But we can read books, exercise, call loved ones, learn new things, send out resumes in search of a new job, or... do nothing. Yes, sometimes you have to do nothing to change something. If you feel confused and don't understand how to move on, take a short break. If possible, give yourself a little digital detox, spend this time in silence without social networks and TV series. Perhaps it is then that important answers will come by themselves.
How to deal with excessive anxiety
Here are a few simple life hacks that will help your brain overcome feelings of fear and uncertainty.
Move
Movement is the easiest way to “stir up” your mind. Even a twenty-minute walk improves systemic circulation and provides a little dopamine, which means you will be motivated to do something. Seize the moment and do something that will help trigger the dopamine reward cycle and take your mind off your worries.
Make a decision
Often we cannot make a decision, we are afraid that it may turn out to be wrong. However, facing the consequences of an unsuccessful step is better than suffering from inaction and uncertainty.
Just start
There is a well-known saying among yogis that the most difficult thing in yoga is unrolling the mat, that is, starting the practice. This is true for any matter that causes fear. Sometimes you just need to start without thinking that you might not be happy with the result or that you won't be able to do enough. After all, a little is better than nothing. And a negative result is a useful experience that will help you not repeat mistakes in the future.
Use the “two things a day” principle
List two small things to do during the day. Making a cake, helping your child with homework, doing a manicure, or editing your resume are examples of such small tasks. Avoid trying to do everything at once; this easily causes frustration. While two small things will help you feel quite effective and not lose motivation for tomorrow's tasks.
Contact a specialist
Sometimes it happens that behind the phrase “I’m afraid to live” serious problems are hidden. These could be thoughts of suicide against the background of a depressive disorder, the “don’t live” attitude received in childhood, social phobia and much more. And here you cannot do without consulting a psychiatrist, and sometimes a psychotherapist. Don't be afraid to seek professional help when needed.
I'm afraid of not being successful in something new and losing stability
It occurs when we decide to change our field of activity or learn a new profession. We are confused because we were just professionals and suddenly became students who make a lot of mistakes. We don’t know whether we will succeed or not - this is, of course, scary.
It's important to remember two things:
- skills and experience cannot be lost: we can use them in another area or return to the usual;
- We have already overcome the student’s path before and done it successfully, and success can be repeated.
I'm not in demand
It occurs if we were unable to survive failure and made it an integral part of life.
Our task is to ask ourselves questions:
- What happens if I am not in demand?
- Why do I support this fear?
- Have I ever had an experience where I felt unappreciated?
- What would help me get over the bad experience and move on?
Most likely, failure and rejection will not actually affect us in any way: instead of one client, another will appear.
Even if we encounter something that is not in demand, our task is to either improve the product or survive the lack of demand and move on.
Use technology
Technology and social media have completely changed the world we live in - essentially you are never alone! Use live streaming or FaceTime or Skype calls to feel how close you are with your friends with just a few swipes of your fingers. Online communication can be a great way to maintain healthy relationships with many people. Just make sure you don't replace them with real life relationships.
Find contact with people from the past
Open your contact list on your phone and scroll through it. When was the last time you talked to this classmate? What about a good colleague from your first job? Send a couple of simple messages to the person you liked, and you would like to communicate with them, but just didn’t find the time for it. It's never too late to rekindle an old friendship, and a person from your past, especially if associated with something pleasant, is a great way to restore confidence.
I'm worse than those I look up to
This is the most “fair” fear of all. He talks about our adequate self-criticism: we really may not be at the level of people we consider experts, especially if we have recently started the journey.
To get rid of fear, we need to understand in what ways we are superior to teachers: we know more modern methods, we have experience in another area that can be applied here.
In the end, our positioning in front of the client should correspond to our experience, skills and knowledge - this is always more comfortable.
Why do I have so little? – Do you need to know how much your colleague gets?
Keep your head busy
Don't underestimate the power of a mind that isn't busy. Your attention should not wander so that new doubts do not arise. Leave yourself clues so that when you come home there is always a book to finish reading or a new episode to read. In addition, do not avoid special exercises and training for the brain - solve puzzles!
