Self-harm in children - how to help a teenager if he harms himself?

Self-harm or self-harm is the intentional infliction of bodily harm on oneself. This deviation can appear at any age, so it is important for parents to recognize self-harm in a child in time and take appropriate measures. If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, you need to seek professional psychological help. Individually selected correctional therapy will help you effectively combat self-destructive behavior, learn to respond adequately to stressful situations, improve psycho-emotional health, and increase self-esteem. To prevent surfharm, psychologists advise developing the habit of switching attention, finding a favorite hobby that will help you distract from bad thoughts, learning to relax and meditate in order to pacify a restless mind and live in harmony with yourself.

What is selfharm

Selfharm is a disease that affects people of completely different ages. Conscious self-harm is caused by the need to cope with uncontrollable emotions: anger, anxiety, sadness, etc. At the same time, self-harm rarely helps a person feel better - all because of the guilt and feelings of shame that appear immediately after the damage is done.

Self-harm can be obvious and hidden. The first includes bodily harm: cuts, burns, bites, blows, hair pulling, injections, self-flagellation;

Hidden self-harm can occur unconsciously. As an example:

deliberately depriving oneself of food as punishment;
exhausting physical activity ;
forcing oneself into unpleasant sexual relations .

Self-harm is the act of deliberately harming one's body without any suicidal intent, but people who deliberately harm themselves are more likely to commit suicide than others. But there is no direct correlation between suicide and self-harm. Self-harm in adolescents and adults is an unsuccessful way of emotional self-regulation, allowing them to cope with strong negative feelings here and now.

If parents notice that their child is engaged in self-torture, in no case should they close their eyes, believing that everything will work out on its own. This serious psychological illness must be dealt with promptly and correctly by seeking help from a professional psychologist.

Sources of Absurd Anxieties

Why does an adequate person develop images of self-destruction and fear bordering on panic? According to experts, this disorder is called obsessive-compulsive (OCD). This can happen to anyone, even if they have no idea about VSD. The projection of the state is a strong anxiety for life, not only for one’s own, but also for one’s loved ones, including animals in the house.

The fear of harming loved ones and oneself originates from affection and strong love. We love ourselves, and coupled with natural fear, such love often turns into one of the types of OCD:

Anxiety haunts a person constantly. This happens with VSD. Other reasons for the appearance of this phobia in dystonics are as follows:
A critical moment in a person’s life when he becomes fixated on a negative problem. Over time, anxiety grows and reaches a critical level. With dystonia, patients constantly replay negative scenes in their heads, resulting in neuroses and phobias that give a projection to the subconscious level.
Upheavals that happened in the early years (school). This can include quarrels between parents, as a result of which the child develops a feeling of insecurity and receiving negativity from any reason or anyone. Aggression and humiliation of classmates - all these terrible factors add up to the picture of OCD.
Low self-esteem and self-criticism program the subconscious that a person is a loser, he is far from ideal and is not in demand by society. Guilt in front of oneself forces one to defend oneself against self-dislike, and this is expressed in care, trepidation and self-pity. The result is obsessive thoughts about preventing self-destruction, neurosis.

Features of the individual, his character, fixation on negativity, anxiety, personality traits, shortcomings. There is a category of people who often or constantly “eat” themselves and delve into themselves. And then phobias tend to replace each other: one disappears, another appears.

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How to recognize self-harm in a teenager

Recognizing self-harm in adolescents and adults is often very difficult. Therefore, parents find out about their child’s problem late, since it is often already progressing and is at an advanced stage. The fact is that any bodily injury is carefully hidden under clothing from prying eyes. However, there are characteristic signs by which such a mental disorder can be recognized:

Persistent bruises, cuts, burns, bites on the limbs, neck, chest, stomach, back.
Wearing closed, voluminous clothing that hides almost all parts of the body. At the same time, the teenager prefers to wear closed clothes even in hot weather.
Sudden mood swings, apathy, tearfulness, causeless aggression and irritability.
Closedness, avoidance of any contact with society, lack of interests, hobbies, hobbies.
Sudden weight loss, hair loss.
Signs of alcohol and illicit substance use.

If parents notice at least a couple of signs in their child, they need to immediately take active measures to combat the problem. Although self-harm does not pose a serious threat to life, it poses serious risks to mental and physical health. Self-harm can develop into compulsive behavior, causing the person to no longer be able to cope with their emotions without the help of self-harm.

Treatment of neurosis

Those suffering from this mental disorder often delay visiting a specialist. The reason is shyness of one’s thoughts not only in front of the doctor, but also in front of friends and relatives. The result is a chronic form, which is very difficult to get rid of. Therefore, the first stage should be to contact a specialized specialist. Medications coupled with psychotherapy provide lasting positive results.

In addition, it is important:

Recognize that this pathology is an illness. It requires therapy, like any other disease. This must be realized - this is the key to successful treatment.
Find out the root cause. Most likely, this is a situation that resulted in the disease. It is impossible to determine it on your own; psychotherapy will help.
Reduce anxiety by provoking it. Meeting a negative image will dull the negative component of anxiety.
Don't be afraid to express your thoughts in writing. It is necessary to evaluate the real fear from the fear of your imagination. Over time, it will become clear that there is nothing to worry about.
Visualize fear, giving it human characteristics and challenge it. Having learned the reason from him, you should, as it were, distance yourself from the phantom. It happens that after this the cause of the nervous disorder becomes clear, most often it is strong love, care and guardianship.

Patients suffering from the disorder experience terrible thoughts, but in reality they are kind and decent in reality. Because of this, they are very worried about their obsessions. We must not forget about this.

So. Neurosis can be treated successfully, and timely treatment will increase the favorable outcome of therapy. The Human Design System will help to significantly simplify this task. After all, few people know that certain information centers are responsible for our every action. They determine the behavior, character, needs and personality of a person. For example, the Ajna Center is responsible for analyzing information. If there are malfunctions in it, then the person incorrectly analyzes the information coming from brain impulses. A detailed examination of the Ajna Center will answer why there is fear of harming others? To find out which of the nine centers you have identified and which you have not, we recommend calculating the rave map. You can do this on our website completely free of charge. And if you want a full transcript, order it in PDF format.

Reasons for self-harm

The motives and causes of self-harm can be varied. Among the most common, psychologists identify the following:

Mental trauma provoked by difficult life events. At the same time, a person may not be aware of the presence of such a trauma, however, having settled deep in the subconscious, it causes unbearable mental pain and experiences, from which one has to be distracted by any convenient means.
Prolonged emotional stress caused by stress, fears, phobias.
Death of a close relative, comrade, loved one.
Mental disorder in which a person hears voices in his head and cannot cope with feelings of fear and obsessive thoughts.
Physical violence . A person who has experienced physical violence may later subconsciously strive to repeat a familiar scenario.
Difficult relationships with close relatives or team members: classmates, work colleagues.
Non-traditional sexual orientation and non-acceptance of one's identity.
Chronic depression.
Guilt . In this situation, self-harm is a method of punishment for shortcomings and misconduct.
Intimidation . If a person is threatened by someone, he may injure himself. In this way he tries to show that his body belongs only to him and no one else can cause physical pain.

Selfharm, the causes of which can be unpredictable, is a symptom of mental disorder. It can only be eliminated by treating the personality disorder that causes a person to harm his body.

What can you do to stop being a threat to yourself?

Awareness and self-control are our everything!

Don’t be ashamed of this problem and hide it: like any other, it can be solved. To do this, you need to contact a psychologist. Don’t add difficulties to yourself and start working with a specialist.
Analyze what needs, motives, circumstances, experiences provoke and “trigger” you to such actions, at what moment the desire to hurt yourself arises. And what, on the contrary, stops and switches to another, non-destructive action. Without analyzing the root causes, self-harm is difficult to defeat.
At the very beginning, it is very difficult to give up the habit of taking out emotional pain on yourself. Try gentle touching on your body to keep the sensation of touching your skin without harming it. For example, move a square of ice, a cotton swab, or a watercolor brush over your hands; put the elastic band on your hand and pull it; trace your hand with a felt-tip pen and draw inside its outline, etc. Take any unwanted clothes (old jeans and T-shirts are great) and color them with markers or felt-tip pens, draw on them with any colors until it becomes easier.
As soon as you feel that you are ready to lose your temper, switch your attention: pour yourself some tea, turn on the music, start doing any physical exercise; draw what bothers you, shade the picture, call a friend or acquaintance, surf the Internet for a new track or movie; rearrange things so as to change the situation, remember pleasant events and sensations, start breathing deeply, take a shower.
When you want to hurt yourself, replace your body with any object or material: scratch a box, foil, cut or tear paper, bags, break matches, etc.
It is especially important to study your anxiety and learn to take control of it at the moment of a bright outbreak. Instead of reaching for a compass or knife, follow these steps.
Make it a rule not to suppress your feelings, but to express them openly. Hints will help you develop this skill.

Why are teenagers prone to self-harm?

According to studies conducted by psychologists, of all age groups, adolescents are the most susceptible to self-harm. This is explained by the fact that during the period of hormonal development, adolescents have the most difficulty coping with stress, difficulties, and personal failures.

If others treat a teenager negatively and he constantly hears criticism and ridicule addressed to him, his personal self-esteem plummets. Disgust and self-contempt force a teenager to resort to methods of self-punishment.

Often, the desire for self-harm arises in children as a reaction to an unfavorable situation in the family. Parents, placing too high hopes and expectations on their son or daughter, force them to always be in tension, which sooner or later leads to mental disorder. Such parents are accustomed to noticing only the mistakes and failures of their child, who, hearing every day about how bad he is, comes to the conclusion that he is mediocre and does not live up to the expectations of his father and mother. In order to somehow relieve emotional stress, the teenager resorts to self-flagellation, switching from emotional to physical pain.

At risk are teenagers who feel invisible in society. It is difficult for them to find contact with other children, express their thoughts correctly, and talk about their need for attention and support. Self-flagellation becomes a way to draw attention to yourself. This is a loud cry for help from a stormy teenager who finds it difficult to cope with difficult life situations on his own.

Obsessive neurosis

The disease is a mental disorder that manifests itself in the form of obsessive thoughts and, possibly, actions. The patient wants to get rid of such obsessions by resorting to compulsions. Thoughts of this kind awaken fear with an admixture of anxiety due to their negativity. The patient tries without success to get rid of the negative and thereby strengthens his position, closing the condition into a ring. The disease causes great discomfort to patients. Mental pathology not detected in time can lead to other mental disorders. Patients with this neurosis often have a high intellectual level because they have a complex thought pattern.

Forms of persistent neurosis:

Fear of causing discomfort to others or loved ones. If there is access to a knife, the patient may think that if he takes it, he can cause injury with it. In this case, it will exclude contact with the knife. This example is one of many similar ones. Common ones are killing your child, killing an animal in the house, running a car over a person, attacking a person from a height.
Fear of hurting yourself and others. A person is frightened by his own thoughts of injuring himself by cutting himself, falling out of a balcony, drowning, losing a limb.
Obsessions about sex. Here thoughts of abuse and violence against oneself prevail. This causes great discomfort and is very disturbing and frightening to the patient.
Fear of pollution. The classic manifestation is frequent hand washing. A person does this regularly and often.
Obsessions on the topic of religion. Haunting images of disgusting scenes involving saints and the Almighty himself. Many are afraid to go to church and there are many other negative things on this topic.
The desire for perfectionism. The patient strives to bring everything to the right decision according to his beliefs.
Superstition. The patient suffers, performing useless rituals in the hope of getting rid of anxiety. But this only increases the frustration, forcing him to walk in circles of his phobia.

How to deal with the problem

What to do if a teenager has signs of self-harm? It is important to understand that self-flagellation is not an independent mental disorder. It always occurs against the background of negative provoking factors. Therefore, in order to know how to help with self-harm, you must first find out the reasons for its occurrence.

To cope with the problem yourself, psychologists recommend using the following tips:

Understand the reasons that provoke bad emotions. A person should observe his thoughts at ordinary times, when there is no stress and his psycho-emotional state is stable. It is important to understand what exactly provokes negative emotions that force you to harm yourself. Having identified the cause of self-harm, you can proceed to the next stage of self-help.
You need to tell your problem to someone you trust. This could be a parent, a friend, a loved one. The support of a loved one will help you feel more confident, and this is important for the further fight against addiction.
Write down all bad thoughts and experiences in a notebook. Pouring out pain on paper helps ease a person’s emotional state.

Replace sadness with pleasure

Find any other ways to feel “alive” with all your senses. Sports, pleasant and bright smells, selfies in cool looks, and doing what you love are great help with this. Don't forget to treat yourself to something tasty. Self-harm is most often preceded by despondency. And it appears due to inaction and stagnation.
Start your personal challenge “5 joys”: make a list of pleasures for each week in the form of a checklist in your phone and put + after completion. This will help boost endorphin levels (the hormone that makes you feel good) instead of adrenaline from the damage.
Create a “gratitude” section in your diary or social media profile and look for what you can say thank you to to yourself, the people around you and situations. It could be a good grade, helping a friend, a good deed, a brave deed, expressed emotions, moments of self-care, kind words, family attention, a delicious dinner from mom, the sun outside the window, your or someone else’s smile, achievements. And special thanks for refraining from self-harm.

Selfharm is a serious psychological consequence of your problems due to the lack of support in solving them. To stop self-harming, you need to recognize the problem and the need for professional help. And you can receive it at any time. You can start by contacting the Children's Helpline service. Instead of a sharp object, this time take the phone in your hands and dial 8 800 2000 122. Psychologists will help you cope with mental pain without self-destruction.

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