Depression in teenagers: how to recognize and how to help

Depression in a child (adolescent) – what is it?

The word "depression" comes from the Latin deprimo - "to crush", "to suppress".
Depression in a child (adolescent) is characterized by depressed or depressed mood, reluctance to have fun, pessimism, sleep disturbances, and sometimes suicidal tendencies. Children between the ages of 10 and 17 experience various emotional upheavals: a quarrel with a close friend, conflicts in the family, failure at school, failures with the opposite sex. In addition, many are dissatisfied with their appearance (acne or “unfashionable” clothes, appearance that does not meet “beauty standards”), which also negatively affects the psychological situation.

The situation is aggravated by hormonal changes in the body: for some children they pass without a trace, and for some teenagers it is another storm of emotions that must be overcome.

Parental help for a teenager

The main role in the prevention of depression in children belongs to their parents, whose behavior and attitude will help them either be completely unaware of this illness or easily cope with it. To protect a teenager from depression, parents need to choose the following parenting tactics:

  • It is not recommended to constantly punish or humiliate a child, otherwise he will grow up insecure, uptight, and will consider himself useless to anyone.
  • You should not overprotect children and make decisions for them, which provokes teenage depression, the symptoms of which manifest themselves in the inability to make choices and be independent.
  • You cannot squeeze a child, limit his freedom, he must feel his independence, but at the same time know that his parents are always there.
  • Give the opportunity to choose a creative circle, sports section, friends, you should not impose your unfulfilled dreams on a teenager.
  • It is necessary to talk with the child; this is best done through joint activities. Here it is recommended to choose something that both the teenager and parents like to do: it could be family skiing, ice skating, creating interesting crafts, reading books and much more.
  • If a child shares his difficulties, it is important to listen to him; in no case should you make fun of a problem, even a trivial one. It is better to discuss everything and find a solution.
  • Constant moralizing can also cause depression in teenagers, so it is recommended to teach with deeds, not words; you need to be an example for your child.

Signs of childhood depression:

In the hustle and bustle of workdays, parents do not always have time to fully communicate with their children. But you can notice a negative attitude in a short period of time. Pay attention to the following symptoms:

  • decreased interest in favorite activities (studies or hobbies)
  • sleep disturbance (for example, cannot fall asleep for a long time in the evening or wakes up several times during the night)
  • weight change (gaining extra pounds or losing weight)
  • state of increased fatigue
  • loss of appetite, prolonged refusal to eat
  • feelings of guilt or shame
  • absent-minded, unable to concentrate on a specific task
  • reluctance to communicate with anyone
  • thoughts of suicide

During the day, symptoms may not appear immediately, but gradually: the teenager wakes up in a good mood, has breakfast, and is happy to get ready for school. When faced with difficulties in class or communicating with peers, he begins to fill himself with negative emotions. Often there is a fixation on one’s experiences, a withdrawal into oneself; When he comes home, he may sit motionless, look at one point, and refuse to eat. At such moments, teenagers often complain about others, criticize any situation, notice only the negative side, without seeing the positive notes.

A thought settles in his head (I’m ugly/fat/boring/I have no friends/nobody loves me/nobody needs me), which accompanies him throughout his depressed state. Constantly thinking about this, he cannot fall asleep peacefully, which leads to sleep disturbance.

Depression in children is accompanied by a sudden surge of good mood - the child is happy, jokes, and communicates. But an hour later he sits again, tired, sad, dissatisfied.

How long will the treatment last?

Overcoming depression can take time; in this regard, unfortunately, no time frame guarantees can be made. According to Russian recommendations, treatment should continue for 4–6 months after remission, since shorter periods lead to an increased risk of relapse of depression. Therefore, the teenager will need a lot of support. Remember, depressive disorders are treatable! This is not a life sentence, and the teenager will not be registered with a psychiatrist if he does not pose a threat to himself.

Causes of depression in children and adolescents:

Depression in a child never occurs out of nowhere. There are always prerequisites for such a state. Most likely, the teenager was faced with a stressful situation, and due to his age, was unable to properly accept and survive it. And this is quite enough for a fragile child’s psyche.

The main reasons include:

  1. Hormonal changes are a “turbulent” and lengthy process. The maturation of the reproductive system is accompanied by high emotional stress: irritation, melancholy or increased anxiety. As a rule, this period passes after 2-4 years. During this time, accumulated stress can easily develop into a serious disorder.
  2. The realities of the adult world - he comes to understand that the world that he saw with children's eyes is not so kind and cloudless, but is full of cruelty and injustice.
  3. Youthful maximalism - a teenager feels that he is being ignored, not seen and not noticed. Everything is divided into black and white, bad and good. Against this background, conflicts arise with parents and teachers.
  4. Family conflicts - children react sharply to quarrels between parents, have a hard time with divorce or a difficult financial situation. It’s hard if he constantly hears criticism of himself or parents’ dissatisfaction related to poor performance at school.
  5. Lack of friends. The most important thing for a teenager is communication with peers, a communication environment, and the opportunity to share common interests with friends. In adolescence, emotional emancipation from parents occurs: if previously the child shared his experiences with his parents, now he can close himself off and not talk about the events of the day and his experiences. In general, this is normal for a teenager, but it is important to find a place where this exchange of emotions can take place. A teenager is looking for emotional contact with peers, and if such contact was not found, there was no acceptance in the team, no establishment of friendships - for a teenager this is very painful and traumatic. He feels unnecessary and unsuccessful.
  6. “Unideal” appearance – teenagers tend to worry that they don’t look like everyone else, are overweight (in their opinion), or that skin problems will turn the whole world against them. Failure to meet the notorious “beauty standards” or the standards accepted in a particular group (for example, it is necessary to be athletic or dress in branded clothes) can result in a teenager being ridiculed by the group, low self-esteem, anorexia and, ultimately, depression.
  7. Frequent moves - separation from the established team and its usual comfort zone - unsettled. Having arrived in a new place, a teenager faces difficulties in communicating and creating new connections, which of course affects his condition.
  8. Bullying in schools - teenagers often show unjustified cruelty, which leaves its mark on the psyche.
  9. Addiction to the Internet and computer games - in the virtual world it is easy and simple to be successful, in the real world it is much more difficult.
  10. Increased loads - some children have a hard time with the school curriculum. And many parents insist on attending additional classes and clubs, believing that this is only beneficial. This rhythm of life creates an additional stressful situation that not everyone can handle.
  11. Unrequited love or the first unsuccessful sexual experience - experiences in such a state take up a lot of energy, and there is often no one and nowhere to share your experiences and receive support.

How to become depressed in adolescence for a girl and a boy: gender differences

Usually the difference is that the female half tends to withdraw into themselves and become more whiny, but the guys rebel more and often start drinking alcohol, trying drugs, and smoking.

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The boys, going to extremes and getting involved with the most inveterate company, thus try to leave and distance themselves from the injustice of the world. When intoxicated, a teenager feels happy because there are no teachers, caring parents or other adults in the company.

A girl can become a loner and lose self-esteem. All her own traits (both appearance and mental qualities) are subject to self-criticism. She doesn’t feel attractive and sometimes begins to assert herself at the expense of guys. Girls grow up, become more attractive, and have sexual relations. A break with a lover affects them very painfully.

Both alcohol and disordered relationships can lead to very disastrous outcomes. In essence, this is an expression of the same protest, just in different ways. It is necessary to take care of providing assistance to a young patient in a timely manner so as not to wait for suicide.

Some signs of potential depression in a teenager:

  • Feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness – a teenager can study well, lead a normal life, but still feel empty. There is no understanding of why he lives; everything seems monotonous and uninteresting to him.
  • "I do not want anything" . Lack of interests, lack of desire to communicate, make friends, apathy.
  • “No one needs me” - the feeling of being not needed by anyone becomes driven. Having fallen under the influence of a stronger comrade, the disorder only intensifies.
  • Emotional swings. Sudden changes in mood, prolonged bad mood can be replaced by fits of rage and aggression, and then passivity and self-deprecation.
  • Conversations about death and suicide. If a teenager has become interested in the topic of death and suicide, it is important to pay attention to this in time. A teenager may use phrases such as “there is no point in living”, “we will all die anyway”, “I don’t see the point...”.
  • Pointless actions, fixation - fixation on a useless activity, for example, constant presence on social networks (regularly updating the “feed”, in anticipation of new meaningless information).
  • Drastic changes - a teenager dramatically changes his social behavior, changes his appearance (dye his hair, piercing). Changes may concern lifestyle, interests, social circle and worldview.
  • “Always successful” - these are children who “bend themselves out of their way” to achieve positive results and achieve success. But behind the screen of a “successful teenager” is a child who hides his true experiences. Often such achievements do not bring moral satisfaction and are accompanied by a strong fear of disappointing parents.

Each individual item may not necessarily be a sign of depression, but a combination of signs and/or clearly expressed manifestations may be a cause for concern and referral to a specialist.

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Symptoms of Depression in Teens

Signs of depression in adolescents can be divided into 3 large groups:

  • changes in mood;
  • behavior change;
  • physiological changes.

Based on this, the following symptoms of depressive disorder can be identified:

  • Apathy. The child becomes absolutely indifferent to everything. He is not happy with his previous interests and hobbies; sometimes it becomes difficult to even get out of bed. Motivation and interest in learning disappear, and academic performance decreases.
  • Psychosomatic pain. There are absolutely any localization: head, abdominal, muscle, joint.
  • General depression, melancholy, which does not go away for a long time.
  • Forgetfulness, absent-mindedness, decreased performance.
  • Unmotivated anxiety, worries.
  • Sleep problems. At night it is difficult for a child to fall asleep, and during the day he is overcome by drowsiness.
  • Changes in appearance. The teenager stops caring about what he looks like. A child may walk around in dirty clothes for a long time, not comb his hair, and ignore basic hygiene procedures.
  • Eating disorder. It manifests itself as a complete loss of appetite, anorexia, bulimia, or, on the contrary, problem eating, insatiable appetite.
  • Interest in alcohol, cigarettes, drugs. If a child has older friends, they can buy alcohol, cigarettes, illegal substances and treat them to the teenager, who, in turn, will not refuse the offer in order to gain a certain status in the team.
  • Irritability, causticity in communication. The child behaves aggressively with parents and teachers, refuses to listen, talk, withdraws into himself, and does bad things.
  • Emotional swings.
  • Talking about death, suicide. If a child becomes interested in the topic of death, suicide, and begins to constantly use the phrases “I don’t see the point in life,” “we’ll all die anyway,” “I can’t do this anymore,” parents should be wary and pay attention to this.

Types of depression:

Reactive – considered a benign type of disorder. This condition is typical for teenagers who have experienced severe emotional shock. For example: parental divorce or death of a loved one.

Melancholic – characterized by a state of depression and melancholy, interest in everything is lost, often sits in one’s room in one position or moves slowly (lethargy). Against the background of these symptoms, sleep and appetite disturbances develop. For girls, disruptions in the menstrual cycle are common. Suicidal thoughts may be added to prolonged melancholy.

Bipolar disorder is characterized by rapid changes in phases, sometimes in short periods of time. The younger the age, the shorter the phases and can range from several hours to 2-3 weeks. Mania manifests itself in the form of aggression and anger. Psychologists may not notice bipolar disorder, citing “adolescent character changes,” so it is recommended to involve a specialist with a narrower profile (clinical psychologist, psychiatrist).

Dysthymia is a long-term mental disorder that usually lasts for a year, possibly several years. The child appears passive and lonely and cannot concentrate on completing a specific task. May be accompanied by sleep disturbances and loss of appetite. This disease often becomes chronic and is occasionally interrupted by mood changes.

Severe (major) depression is protracted. Lasts from six months to 9 months. The teenager is sad and irritable, he is not interested in anything. Symptoms may not be obvious, for example sleep disturbance: the parent refers to fatigue and workload. Some children begin to “eat up” this condition with large portions of food. This is the moment that should alert you. The situation is aggravated by thoughts, in some cases, suicide attempts.

You should pay special attention if you increasingly hear references to death and suicide, for example:

  1. Reads poems and stories about suicide, or has started writing on this topic himself
  2. Romanticizes death and the dying person.
  3. Jokes about death
  4. Says goodbye to family and friends as if for the last time
  5. Frequent injuries and cuts
  6. You hear the phrases: “It would be better if I died,” or “Why was I born?” or "There is no way out"

In this case, you need to act immediately and find a specialist to provide assistance as soon as possible.

Tests to identify


To diagnose depression at 17-18 years of age, use the Beck Depression Inventory for High School-Age Adolescents.
Another test is the Hospital Anxiety and Depression Scale (HADS). Suitable for older teenagers and adults .

The test results cannot be used as a basis for making a diagnosis.

However, if the technique determines the presence of a disorder, then this is another reason to contact a clinical psychologist as soon as possible.

What should parents do?

The family atmosphere is very important for the formation of the child’s psyche. Parents will always pay attention to their child’s unusual behavior. But what exactly should you do if you have problems with your studies or school friends?

If you notice signs of depression, experts advise the following:

  • Talk in a comfortable environment for him. Try to find out what exactly caused the concern and this result.
  • Help strengthen his self-esteem. Show him how important and meaningful he is to you and those around you.
  • Find out about his hobbies, what he is interested in, what he does while you are at work.
  • Limit custody, make him feel that you trust him.
  • Give him the right to choose, don’t decide everything for him.
  • Try not to criticize, but to direct them to the right action.
  • Avoid high-pitched conversations, try not to conflict.
  • Find a common interest - this could be an evening walk together, or riding bicycles, or playing football. Attend master classes: draw and create.

Psychologists advise finding as many common points as possible. It is important for a child to feel supported and cared for. But do not forget that increased guardianship will only harm and complicate the situation.

Always sincerely say that you love, appreciate and respect him. Warm and trusting relationships in the family are the key to good mental health of all its members.

If you understand that the situation is beyond your control, do not delay visiting a specialist.

I'm a teenager and right now I'm contemplating committing suicide.

Be sure to talk to someone! If negative feelings become so unbearable that you can't find any solution other than self-harm, you need immediate help! We understand that the decision to apply for it may not be easy for you, but it is truly very important! You need to turn to someone you trust, such as a friend, family member, teacher. If you have no one to discuss your problem with, share with our specialists who are ready to listen - call the hotline:

  • 8 800 2000 122 - hotline for psychological assistance to children, adolescents and their parents, 24 hours a day.
  • 8 emergency psychological assistance center of the Ministry of Emergency Situations.
  • 8 children's helpline of the Moscow Department of Education, 24 hours a day.
  • 051 from the city center or +7 495 051 (MTS, MegaFon, Beeline, Tele2) - emergency psychological help telephone number of the Moscow service for psychological assistance to the population.
  • 8 hotline for teenagers and their parents in St. Petersburg.

Don’t forget also about emergency medical services (103) and emergency services (112).
Whatever your situation, remember that there is another solution, even if you don't see it right now. Having thoughts about harming yourself or others does not make you a bad person. The disease can make you think and feel things that were previously unusual. If your feelings are uncontrollable, try to wait another 24 hours before taking action, and during this time, do not isolate yourself and be sure to talk to someone. Tags:

  • Depression
  • Children
  • Teenagers
  • Psyche

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Treatment of depression

Depression in children and adolescents is a serious illness that requires consultation with a specialist. Parents must understand that only they can help their child by recognizing the characteristic signs. You shouldn’t leave things to chance; it’s better to keep everything under control, following the advice of a specialist.

The mild form lends itself to counseling treatment: this can be individual work with a psychologist or visiting a psychological group. Severe cases (for example, suicide attempts) require a more serious, medicinal approach. In such cases, a psychologist and a psychiatrist often work in pairs, complementing each other.

Usually the first specialist you need to turn to for help is a psychologist. During the conversation, he helps to understand the cause of the disease. It will help you find out what emotions and feelings accompany a teenager. Using different techniques, the specialist will be able to explain what fears and doubts have settled in the child’s head. There is a possibility that after communicating with a psychologist, he himself will find ways to solve the problem and get out of this state.

A psychologist will help you cope with mild forms of the disease. If the situation is complex, then you will need additional help from a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

A psychotherapist is a doctor who helps patients cope with mental illness. The treatment regimen contains psychotherapeutic techniques in combination with drug treatment.

To make a diagnosis, the doctor conducts a conversation with the patient, during which he assesses his condition. Diagnostics helps to establish the exact disease that accompanies the teenager, as well as determine the method of treatment.

If the protracted nature of the disease is revealed, then conversations alone will not be enough. Antidepressants can be added to treatment, which will relieve symptoms of anxiety and apathy, help eliminate irritability and cope with fears.

Why do people cry just like that?

You look at a person and it seems that his life is a success, but he comes home and starts crying, looking at the ceiling, or even worse, with his face in the pillow. But in fact, many psychologists believe that tears do not appear without a reason - this is true.

With the help of tears, the body expresses a protective reaction to stress and events. Therefore, it is very bad to always be restrained. Experts proved this by conducting the following experiment. They let 4 girls watch a sad film, 2 of them could afford to cry, and 2 could not. Those who were restrained and did not miss a single tear - indicators of stress, increased cortisol - increased significantly. And, the girls, who did not hesitate to cry, were outwardly upset, but their internal indicators remained normal.

The conclusion was that tears can improve the body's control over emotional arousal. They will help avoid consequences that will negatively affect human organs and systems.

Therefore, to the question: “I’m just crying, why?” - the answer has been found. The body protects itself from depression and its consequences. The main thing is to cry in moderation and be able to stop in time.

"Empathy" - studio of practical psychology

Children and teenagers with various emotional problems come to Empathy. We help them overcome difficulties. To do this, our team has specialists who have been working with children and adults for 17 years, helping to deal with internal problems.

Adolescence is a period of personality development. And our task is to help the child not go astray. We help teenagers and parents find and maintain the harmony in which everyone can live and develop comfortably.

“Empathy” runs psychological groups for teenagers, where kids can share important experiences, get support and feedback, learn how to build relationships with peers and find friends. Here a teenager can share his problems, and we will help him understand and understand himself. In this format of communication, support, respect and trust in peers are formed, and the prerequisites for the development of depression in a child go away by themselves.

Of course, we cannot talk about a universal panacea, but psychological work in a group is obviously a prevention of depression; if necessary, we also refer the teenager and parents to specialists with a more specialized profile. You can read about how to invite your child to participate in a psychological group here.

If you are faced with misunderstanding within your family, or have discovered signs of depression in a child, contact us for help. We are waiting for you at the Studio of Practical Psychology “Empathy”.

Why does a person cry for no reason?

Whatever one may say, there is always a reason, it’s just not clearly expressed, and for many it is incomprehensible. We have selected 3 main factors. They affect people from the inside of their condition, and not due to external reasons.

  1. Nervousness and stress. Traffic jams, work, delays, sharp sounds, naughty children - all this will sooner or later cause stress. It is impossible to predict where it might come from. Many people experience stress and nerves even on vacation. Negative emotions accumulate, absorb, shake your nerves, and then bam, and you are already crying. When you are exhausted, tears will be a defensive reaction to stress, and when you feel that you are very tired mentally, cry your heart out, it will definitely let you go.
  2. I remembered what I thought. Think about how you often think back to past happy or terrible times. Events when you were incredibly happy or cried a lot. And then, when everything is fine, something happens that again plunges you into memories. I can't hold back my tears. So, the subconscious mind reminds you of an action or action that has been painful for many years. But unlike the first reason, there is no point in immersing yourself in lacrimation. The past cannot be returned, we must remember it, but not constantly immerse ourselves in it. Shed a tear if you feel like it, but don't cry too much.
  3. Hormonal levels. Hello to the emotional state is conveyed by the physical. Just such tears are typical of women and teenagers. An excess or deficiency of various substances in the body affects the emotional state. Therefore, it is important to quickly bring all indicators back to normal so as not to harm your health. You can first address this question to a psychologist, and he will redirect you to an endocrinologist to check your hormonal levels.
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