My husband doesn't want to | intimacy with wife | reasons what to do |
Hi girls. A friend asked: Why does the husband not want intimacy with his wife, reasons, what to do? I had to explain it to her and write an article about it for you. Everything is not as simple as it seems. Especially at a young age, there is a misleading belief that a husband can and wants sex all the time. He just walks around with the organ standing and is ready to use it at any moment. It turns out there are reasons that affect male libido.
Advice for pregnant women and young mothers
If your child takes up all your time and thoughts, and your spouse has long faded into the background, try the following:
- While there is a ban on full sex life, engage in oral sex. This way, your husband will understand that he is still important to you, he will be able to fully relax, and mutual understanding will not leave the family.
- The birth of a baby is not a reason to forget about yourself. Clean clothes, walks in the fresh air, simple but cute hair styling, at least minimal exercise will allow you to remain attractive, even if the child is capricious and demanding. You certainly cannot forget about yourself.
Less nervousness, more affection and interest in each other, and everything will be fine.
VIDEO TESTS: Does a man love me test about the development of your love relationship.
Radical therapy2
Like any important action, the battle for your partner's attention should begin with intelligence. Or rather, from a calm, open conversation. If a guy is smart, he will want to figure out this situation himself. Further actions depend on the identified cause:
- Workaholism is cured by taking an emergency vacation, even if it’s free. Take your loved one out of the annoying environment and give them a couple of days of rest. After rest, he himself will begin to persuade his soul mate to have sex. But this sounds simple only in words. If the next vacation is still a few months away, you need to help your spouse relieve emotional and physical stress. A high-quality massage, funny comedy and care will help a guy cope with critical situations and fatigue. And a young man surrounded by care will definitely want to “thank” his sweetheart.
- With diseases, everything is more complicated; a medical specialist is needed here. If hormonal imbalance is to blame, it can be eliminated with proper nutrition and exercise; hormonal drugs are prescribed in difficult cases.
- Addiction to hobbies is treated with the “temptress wife” regime; knowing the weak points of your partner, nothing prevents you from using them to awaken the desire of your chosen one.
Everyone knows that men love with their eyes. But eyes are not the only way to the heart of a loved one. You should pay no less attention to your smell; a clean female body causes a wave of excitement in any male. A small amount of perfume won't hurt either.
- If the problem is with the girl, she must fix it herself (if she wants, of course), it’s worth asking the guy which type suits him best. This should only be done if there is reciprocity, if the young man has worked on himself for your sake.
- Monitor your behavior and conversations. Maybe the girl herself is having troubles at work, and she’s taking out the negativity on her lover.
- A radical change of image can also help. Try to surprise your partner. Jeans and sweatshirts with sneakers are undoubtedly very comfortable clothes. But an elegant dress and stilettos can excite a man’s imagination no worse than a porn film.
- For couples with extensive marital experience, we can advise trying to return the relationship to the very first “candy” period. Start flirting with your man. Intimate correspondence, small but pleasant gifts, exciting touches to sensitive areas. Remember how the stronger sex reacts to a languid voice, a sincere smile and gentle tactile contact.
It is recommended to take care of this problem in advance. Regularly arrange intimate evenings for your partner, try to keep yourself well-groomed, and don’t let yourself get caught up in work. It is worth regularly changing the scenario of bed games.
The problem is that the guy should have a similar return. This is not only the secret of regular sex, but also the key to a happy union.
Answers from psychologists in the absence of sex with your wife
Allow each other to have personal space
Every person needs their own personal space. Many people miss it, and their relatives don’t even think about giving it. This results:
- to closure
- isolation,
- tension,
- bitterness.
When a person experiences such feelings, he is no longer interested in intimate relationships.
Allow him and yourself to have such space. And the time you can spend there.
Communicate more
You need to talk to each other more. And not only after intercourse. Just communicate like that. Don't you have any common themes? Yes, just “wash the bones” of your relatives and friends. This will unite you under a common interest.
Gradually start talking about sex. Where the following follows naturally.
Diversify intimate relationships
Stop lying on the same side. Well, it’s not interesting... Study the materials, use your imagination. Buy something for unexpected experiments.
If you are interested in this in more detail, then read the article: “How to surprise a man in bed.” Just right. There are some interesting features there. I guarantee you'll both love it.
Stir up each other's interest
Sometimes, instead of sending an SMS to your husband asking him not to forget to buy bread, you can send your intimate photos. Treat sex like a game, which means introducing elements of the game into your everyday, usually boring everyday life. “Scheduled sex” may also help. How we all look forward to the desired vacation, or, at worst, Friday! You can also expect sex - prepare, plan.
Complete rest
If your body lacks some vitamins, trace elements, minerals, and so on, then goodbye libido. Sometimes, if we are talking about female libido, just getting enough sleep. Especially if a woman with small children. So men, don’t pester too persistently, if you see that your wife is tired, she has no desire now, and there will be no pleasure. Let her just sleep.
You might be interested.
How to win a woman and her heart is my secret
Main reasons for failures
The fact that all people are different was mentioned more than once. Some people like coffee with cream, some without, and some can’t stand it at all. The same with sex, some people need it at least once a day (preferably two... or three), while others have the desire a couple of times a week. If a guy doesn’t want sex, then first you should pay attention to the frequency of intimate contacts; if a girl is hyperactive, but her boyfriend is not, then there is no need to look for any reasons. The couple just have different temperaments.
It’s another matter if there is a sharp reduction in lovemaking in the relationship. To begin with, a worried lady needs to pay attention to several important factors.
- Workaholism is incompatible with sexaholism
An extremely small percentage of men can boast of an optimal workplace. Guys sit in offices, lacking fresh air and physical activity. The latter reduces the activity of the heart and circulatory system, hence circulatory disorders. And a static posture at the computer puts a lot of pressure on the lumbar region - what if your back hurts during sex? Physical inactivity causes fatigue along with physical exhaustion from heavy exertion.
Active physical work (especially with excessive loads) is also not conducive to health. Not to mention sprains and bruises, a person comes home in a state close to a vegetable. In this case, you may want sex, but obviously you can’t. You cannot expect a young man to be a god in bed and a leader in labor at the same time when working hard.
Too much passion for sports is bad. If your significant other does not leave the rocking chair, you should expect heart problems. Even cycling for a long time does not help increase libido, but on the contrary, it will cause compression of the tissues in the pelvic area and oxygen starvation of the muscular frame of the pelvis.
- Diseases and bad habits
If you look at European indicators, in the EU countries men refuse sex due to taking antidepressants. In our country, alcohol acts as both an antidepressant and a relaxant (depending on the strength). Strong drinks, of course, help relieve the feeling of fatigue and stiffness. They will even encourage sex for shy gentlemen. But addiction to alcohol will greatly affect potency, especially at an older age. If you combine a bottle of beer with a cigarette, the harm to the reproductive system can be doubled.
Hormonal imbalance significantly reduces libido. Testosterone not only makes a guy a man (voice, hair, behavior), but also directly affects sexual desire. With a normal daily routine, moderate physical activity and the absence of diseases, the male body produces the required amount of the hormone itself. It’s not difficult to guess what will happen with a sedentary lifestyle.
Another reason from the category of diseases is psychological trauma or the consequences of upbringing. Perhaps your loved one was previously the object of ridicule from girls, or he was brought up in the spirit of “debauchery is bad.” Then he will subconsciously try to reduce the frequency of sexual intercourse to a minimum.
- Hobby
If your beloved loves to play a couple of tank battles in the evenings, or pay attention to his second “beauty” in the garage, it’s not a big deal. It's another matter when a hobby turns into an addiction. If a guy doesn’t want sex, but sits in front of the monitor every evening, or is lost in other things, this is a reason to worry, and at least try to distract him with other interesting activities.
Yes, every man should have his own “toys”. But sometimes the stronger sex flirts with them so much that they lose interest not only in real life, but also in close people. It doesn’t have to be gambling or gambling addiction; it’s enough to get too carried away by the same fishing, and the need to pay attention to your beloved fades into the background.
- Darling
The reason may lie in the girl herself. Many, having got their “pie in the sky”, relax and stop taking care of themselves. In this case, you should meticulously examine yourself for the presence of a couple of unplanned kilograms, sagging skin or unkempt hair. Or maybe a guy refuses sex because of complexes about the fact that his hairy legs are inferior to the hairiness of his beloved?
It is very difficult for tactful partners to reproach their beloved for the fact that her appearance has changed for the worse. Usually guys are silent, and they lose the desire to have sex.
You should also pay attention to your behavior. If you regularly emphasize exclusively the shortcomings of your man, lower his self-esteem and arrange regular educational programs with hysterics, this will not only discourage the desire for intimacy, but can also lead to betrayal (the young man will subconsciously try to regain his self-esteem at the expense of another lady).
- More about cheating
You shouldn’t even consider betrayal that was committed just like that. After all, choosing a polygamous guy for a relationship is not the smartest thing to do. Usually, cheating is caused by the reason described above, when a girl loses her attractiveness (not necessarily physical, it’s enough just to stop being interested in her chosen one and his affairs). In this case, there will be not only a refusal of sex, but also a change in behavior, secrecy and other signs of emerging horns.
- Too much experience in family life
Not a single person on earth is immune from the gradual fading of passion. When you have entire years spent together behind you, all emotions and feelings become rather faded. A man no longer feels the need to win the heart of his lady and surprise her with records in bed. But for a girl of any age, desire in the eyes of her partner will be the most clear evidence of his interest at all times.
No soul mate
Emotional intimacy is also very important in a relationship. It happens that a man does not see or feel emotions or moral support. A problem that arose in bed or in everyday life was not voiced in time. The woman showed no emotion once, then twice, and this developed into constant indifference. The easiest way is to start showing your emotions, even in small things. Then the man will feel morally satisfied and will be more confident in himself, which will lead to physical satisfaction.
We must not forget to praise and extol our man, to cultivate in him a sense of need for the family and superiority over other representatives of the stronger sex.
Perhaps your partner’s views on certain things or acceptable standards in bed have changed. Over time, the spouses have lost common interests; the man does not know what to talk about with his wife or what to do with her. He immediately begins to worry, be afraid, and then simply stops acting. Then sex becomes indifferent.
Doesn't live up to the level
A completely ordinary moment in a man’s life when he cannot maintain the high bar that he has set for himself. Perhaps he avoids sex because he has decided for himself that he is bad in bed and cannot satisfy his partner. Or the reason was that the woman had an orgasm every time she had intercourse, and then one or two times in a row this did not happen.
Without asking the woman, the man decided that the bed relationship had come to an end. After all, his crown fell in his own eyes, and the woman is not aware of the events. Or a banal decline in erection, and again the crown fell.
In such a situation, the partner can help by talking, support the spouse, and explain that nothing bad happened.
Ridiculous excuses
A woman is not recommended to refer to migraines or fictitious health problems. Reluctance to fulfill marital duty can forever change a man's attitude towards you. Perhaps the partner will begin to look for the reason in himself or suspect the woman of cheating. Such factors will not lead to warm relationships in bed and will negatively affect mutual understanding in the family. Therefore, sex should become comfortable in everyday life and satisfy the needs of both in the couple.
Excess of aromas
Using strong odors kills male desire. Artificial scents are not that important. Many women forget about the natural body odor, which makes a partner more sexy than the best French perfume. It happens that strong and persistent odors clog the sense of smell, especially alcohol-containing substances. This turns a man off.
It is known that each person receives part of the information about his partner by inhaling the odors emitted through the nose. Perfume contains some of the necessary information that excites a man. At the physiological level, be it sexual intercourse or banal hugs, the nose reads information that is important to it. After using any perfume or cream, this part closes, the partner becomes confused and cannot do anything.
Solution
My husband doesn't want me, what should I do? Men may refuse sex if it is routine. They are not interested in such closeness. To add variety to your life, watch porn, read the Kama Sutra, update your places.