Causes of conflicts - the main factors that can influence this

Psychologists say that you should not be afraid of disputes and disagreements. In the process of conflicts that arise, people learn to give in to each other, compromise and be tolerant of the shortcomings of others. However, in some cases, contradictions can lead to dangerous consequences. This happens mainly during quarrels in a work team or a children's educational institution (school, kindergarten). Sometimes disputants need the help of a professional psychologist.

A life without quarrels and arguments is an ideal that cannot be achieved

What is the cause of the conflict

An event that entails discord in a micro- or macro-team is the cause of the conflict. This definition is often used by practicing psychologists. The causes of conflicts vary. Most often, disagreements arise due to:

• Inability to give in to each other;
• Different views on organizational issues at work;
• Poor knowledge of the partner’s personality traits and, as a result, the inability to find a common language with him;
• The desire of one of the participants in the conflict to impose his point of view on the opponent at all costs;
• Increased level of aggressiveness and anxiety.

Also, quarrels in a team often arise due to poor upbringing and limited intelligence of its individual members. The reason for an argument can be a large difference in the ages of the two opponents, since older people perceive many things differently compared to young people.

Contradictions among colleagues and classmates often arise out of nowhere

Types of social conflicts

Let us list the main types of social conflicts.

By the number of participants in the conflict:

• intrapersonal (interesting to psychologists and psychoanalysts);
• interpersonal (for example, between friends);
• intergroup (for example, competition between firms).

According to the direction of the conflict:

• horizontal (between people of the same level, for example, manager versus manager);
• vertical (employee versus management);
• mixed (both).

According to the function of social conflict:

• destructive (a fight on the street, a fierce argument);
• constructive (a duel in the ring according to the rules, an intelligent discussion).

By duration:

• short-term;
• protracted.

By means of resolution:

• peaceful or non-violent;
• armed or violent.

On the subject of the conflict:

• economic;
• political;
• production;
• household;
• spiritual and moral, etc.

By the nature of development:

• spontaneous (unintentional);
• deliberate (pre-planned).

By volume:

• global (World War II);
• local (Chechen war);
• regional (Israel and Palestine);
• group (managers versus accountants);
• personal (household, family).

Main reasons

Types of conflicts in psychology and ways to resolve them

Most often, disputes that develop into aggressive confrontation occur due to personal hostility of opponents towards each other. Feelings of rejection by another person can be caused by:

• His difference from others and the desire to stand out, to oppose himself to the team;
• Excessive concentration on one’s own feelings and experiences and reluctance to enter into the position of another person;
• The eternal confrontation between fathers and sons;
• Reluctance to listen to useful advice and recommendations from others;
• Distrustful and suspicious attitude towards other people.

There is also a special type of easily excitable subjects with an unstable psyche; any little thing can provoke a quarrel among them.

Psychological incompatibility of characters often leads to disagreements

Interpersonal conflicts

The causes of interpersonal conflicts are different points of view of two or more participants in the conflict on the same phenomenon (politics, raising children, everyday problems). Also, disagreements in the family can be caused by the inability to listen and hear another person, lack of empathy (the ability to sympathize and empathize with another person in a difficult situation).

Professional

The causes of conflicts at work often lie in constant stress or in the psychological incompatibility of the temperaments of the boss and subordinate. Quite often, quarrels arise due to different views on work issues and labor organization. A special case is a discrepancy between the biological rhythms of a boss and a subordinate (for example, a “night owl” secretary and a “lark” boss); in this case, it is very difficult to avoid contradictions.

Between children at school

Much literature has been written about what reasons can lead to conflict between children in primary or secondary school. Most often, unpleasant situations in a children's group arise when one of the students opposes himself to the group. In this case, other children subconsciously perceive him as an “outsider” who poses a threat to the close-knit group. Sometimes the prerequisites for quarrels arise between micro-teams: students in the class are divided into several groups and are at enmity with each other. In this case, mutual hatred may be caused by such a factor as a difference in interests (for example, musical tastes or preferences in sports).

Attention! The most dangerous situation in a school or kindergarten is the so-called “bullying,” or bullying of one child in a group. The younger generation is particularly cruel and resourceful in this regard. In this case, all classmates can take up arms against a single student. There are different reasons for bullying: envy of excellent studies, the external dissimilarity of one of the students from the rest, or some kind of teenage physical defect (for example, being overweight). In this case, parents and members of the teaching community must intervene in the situation to resolve the conflict.

As a result, the situation in the financial market got out of control and the crisis became unmanageable.

An example can be given of homeostatic imbalance at the group, interpersonal and intrapersonal levels. In all cases, a natural sequence can be traced: contradictions lead to an imbalance within the system - homeostasis, in which conditions for the emergence of conflict are gradually formed.

By the end of the 90s, a situation called anomie had developed in Russia - a special form of homeostatic imbalance in society. Anomie penetrates primarily into the moral sphere, after which all other systems: economic, labor, legal, psychological (at the mental level), social and others - are simultaneously subjected to a homeostatic crisis determined by the social disorganization of society.

When a system is unable to develop protective mechanisms - “anti-homeostatic bodies”, problems for this system threaten its collapse. In this case, a meteostatic crisis is most often inevitable, contributing to the destruction of the system.

Is it possible to prevent conflict based on the premises?

Sometimes, to prevent an unpleasant situation, it’s enough just to joke and the conflict will be resolved

Methods for resolving conflicts - what options exist, ways to prevent them

In short, the causes of conflicts depend on the psychological microclimate in the team. For example, if friendly, calm relationships prevail in a group, the appearance of a new person can cause discord. In order to prevent an ordinary quarrel from escalating into a serious hostility, experts in the field of conflict management recommend:

• Never stoop to mutual personal insults that are not related to the topic of the quarrel;
• Respect the opposing point of view, even if it is impossible to accept it;
• Carefully consider every word spoken during a quarrel;
• Never raise your voice during a conversation.

These simple, proven management methods will help mobilize emotional resources and safely resolve a conflict situation without aggression and mutual accusations.

Attention! Sometimes, to prevent a conflict situation, it is enough just to turn everything into a joke, showing a sense of humor. For example, this method works well provided there is a trusting relationship with superiors or work colleagues. A well-timed joke will help defuse the situation and calm furious debaters.

Ways to end conflicts

A conflict can be resolved in different ways: resolved, settled, extinguished, eliminated the cause, or found a compromise that suits both parties. Sometimes a conflict ends because a new one arises in its place. Let's consider the main options for ending conflicts.

Permission

This outcome usually results from the mutual desire of the parties to the dispute to peacefully resolve the situation. It includes the following steps:

1. Determining the parties to the conflict.
2. Determining the motives of each side.
3. Determining the true cause of the dispute.
4. Joint clarification of how the parties see the conflict.
5. Gathering outside opinions.
6. Finding and implementing the best conflict resolution strategy.

Settlement

This option implies the involvement of a disinterested person who is trusted by both participants in the disputable situation. The regulator must weigh all the arguments and find a solution that will be fair for both parties to the conflict. Typically this process includes the following steps:

1. Determining the true causes of the conflict.
2. Determining the powers of the involved regulator.
3. Search for real motives for the conflict (to understand not only the reasons, but also the goals of the participants).

Attenuation

Often the conflict simply gets boring for the participants and fades away, but this does not mean that it has stopped. Usually it simply goes into a latent form, and tension remains between the parties. Typically, attenuation occurs for the following reasons:

1. reducing the significance of the object of dispute;
2. distracting the parties to other problems;
3. exhaustion of the parties.

Eliminating the cause

Everything is obvious here. In some situations, discussion allows you to understand the problem and simply eliminate it in a way that suits all parties to the conflict. Sometimes the solution can be quite radical. For example, if two employees have a conflict, one of them may be transferred to another department.

Transformation

Sometimes during a conflict a new conflict situation arises. The participants switch to it, partially or completely forgetting about the old object of the dispute.

Reasons from a psychological point of view

What is the friend zone in girls and men - the main signs

Not everyone knows why people quarrel and what the psychological prerequisites for disputes are. From a psychological point of view, disagreements and disputes are mainly caused by a person’s inability to put himself in his partner’s place, in his position. To better understand others, the main thing is to imagine exactly what they feel at certain moments (examples: joy, anger, confusion). To do this, you need to show a keen interest in people and never refuse to communicate.

For some people, a love of controversy is an innate character trait.

The main leaders of psychology believe that being a completely non-conflict person is just as harmful as being an avid debater. Contradictions between people are natural. The main thing is to learn to regulate them and prevent a quarrel from developing into open aggression. To do this, you should treat your opponent with respect, and if he allows himself insults and threats, do not follow his example, but choose another option for interaction. Creating and developing quarrels out of nowhere can become a serious obstacle to a successful career or personal life.

Types of conflicting personalities

Conflict-prone individuals have various characteristics that indicate whether they are capable of aggravating or provoking conflicts through their behavior. So, according to the theory of F.M. Borodkin and N.M. Koryak, the following types of conflicting personalities can be distinguished:

• Demonstrative type. She wants to constantly be in the center of attention, and is ready to use any methods and techniques for this. The attitude of a given person towards others is determined by how others treat him. In “superficial” conflicts, he is able to emerge victorious, since those around him do not take him seriously and are ready to give in. At the same time, he is not afraid of conflicts, feeling confident. Conflict acts as a way to demonstrate oneself. Often the demonstrative type acts as a source of conflict, but does not show it.
• Rigid type. Is suspicious and has inflated self-esteem. Needs self-affirmation, confirmation of one's own importance. Not ready to accept someone else's point of view, touchy. He is often straightforward and lacks flexibility, which is why he constantly gets involved in conflicts.
• Unmanaged type. He is impulsive and can behave unpredictably in any situation. Capable of defiant behavior and aggression. Needs regular confirmation of his own importance, can blame anyone for his failures. Plans are not his strong point. Mistakes and past experiences do not teach him.
• Ultra-precise type. Scrupulous, makes high demands on himself, as well as on others. Is sensitive to details and little things. He may not communicate with certain categories of people because it seemed to him that they were treating him negatively. He himself suffers from his hyper-precision, which can lead to diseases, for example, insomnia.
• Conflict-free type. Unstable, quickly changes his mind. Inconsistent in his behavior. Always wants to appear “good” to his superiors. Lack of sufficient willpower.
• Purposefully conflict type. He uses conflict to achieve his goals by provoking it. He knows how to manipulate, for example, he can be affectionate with someone, but not with others. Masters the technique of emotional argument.

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Is it possible to prevent conflict? Is it possible to resolve a conflict before its destructive consequences occur?

It is possible if you learn to see the conflict not from the point of view of the reason for its occurrence, but from the point of view of the cause . There is a significant difference between reason and reason. They are as different as black and white, earth and sky, effect and cause.

The reason is what lies on the surface and seems obvious. He is always manifested. The reason never lies on the surface, is not obvious to the parties to the conflict and requires the ability to be honest, first of all, with ourselves. Since it touches on “pain points” that subconsciously we often try not to know, not notice, and avoid. The cause is not manifested.

Conventionally, this can even be taken as a criterion: if a cause is manifested, then it is not a cause.

For example, the cause of an allergy in a child is a cat. The cat is manifested, obvious, which means that it cannot be the cause, but the reason for the manifestation of allergies.

Or, the reason for our quarrel with a friend is her words addressed to me. Words are manifested, they cannot be a reason, they can only be a reason.

Or, the reason for my dismissal was a quarrel with my boss...

Working with a reason takes away from resolving the conflict, creating the illusion of a solution, which further aggravates the conflict. Only working with the cause leads to a solution to the conflict.

For example, if we consider illness as one of the types of conflicts at the level of the physical body, it becomes obvious why modern medicine is often powerless against diseases (medicine itself recognizes this fact). After all, pills only relieve symptoms, but do not remove the cause of the disease, thereby transforming the conflict that has arisen into a chronic one and changing only the form of manifestation. It is well known that when we begin to treat one disease, we acquire a whole bunch of concomitant diseases, which often flow into each other.

Similarly, in life, without resolving a conflict, trying to remove only the reason for its occurrence, we turn conflicts into chronic ones, changing only the form of their manifestations. If the reason remains, the conflict will constantly renew, although the reasons may be different.

What do you think is the cause of a cold, for example? Wet feet? – this is precisely the reason for the occurrence of the disease. It is on the surface and seems obvious. Besides, is it necessary that anyone who gets their feet wet will get sick? No, many people have gotten their feet wet and never gotten sick. And a lot of people who got sick without getting their feet wet. This means that the reason is not wet feet.

And what? The fact is that the human body is currently weakened. This is no longer so obvious. However, when the body is weakened, anything can serve as a reason: rain, draft, ice cream, a neighbor who sneezed nearby, etc., etc.

Then the question arises, why is the body suddenly weakened? The answer to this question implies access to the cause of this conflict - the cause of the disease. This is what we need to work with. Realize the reason and try to remove it.

On this topic, I recommend reading Natalia Vitorskaya’s book “Causes of Diseases and Origins of Health.” It will help you understand the causes of many diseases and find the path to recovery. This book is about symbols that carry various diseases that can help you understand yourself, find the causes of certain diseases and successfully prevent them.

It is not so easy to learn to distinguish between reason and reason, to learn to see the reason. To do this, you need to learn to see the manifestations of the universal laws of development in your life and be prepared for constant changes. After all, the cause of any conflict is a distortion of the laws of development, and the conflict itself is the source of development, and therefore of constant change. But it is useful and worth paying special attention to.

Let's continue. Let's assume an ordinary situation: two people are walking, communicating peacefully and suddenly..... CONFLICT!

When does this suddenly happen? What could cause such conflicts?

Conflict presupposes some kind of disagreement. However, disagreement itself is not a conflict. Until emotions turn on.

People, as a rule, communicate peacefully as long as their “vital interests” are not affected. While we are talking about general things, for example about the weather, about nature, about lyrics,….

Even if I don’t agree with something, it doesn’t cost me any effort; in general, I will agree with any point of view. But the closer we communicate, the more likely it is for our partner to “step on my pet peeve.”

Gradually, we begin to touch upon topics that relate to my value system, my worldview, which together constitute that “sacred” that I cannot allow to be violated. Then a simple phrase, for example, “you’re wrong”, ... can serve as a reason for an outbreak of conflict.

That is, an integral component of any conflict is emotional involvement when disagreements arise. However, disagreements themselves are not the cause of conflict. Disagreements are just an excuse .

The reason is my value system. Because a simple point of view, but one that does not coincide with mine, is perceived by me as an encroachment on my “I”, on my integrity. I begin to experience a subconscious fear of violating my integrity, my significance as a person. The feeling of danger turns on the mechanism of the self-preservation instinct, including the subconscious. As soon as the subconscious turns on, I begin to lose control over the situation: thoughts and behavior become aggressive (the best defense is an attack), emotions overflow.

Thus, a casually spoken word or phrase that touches my deepest values self-preservation mechanism in me . Can we say that the cause of the conflict is in a certain phrase, or in the person who said it? Of course not. But often we direct all our efforts towards them. The reason is that my value system has been shaken.

By the way, the value system is related to a person’s self-esteem. When a person is confident in himself (in his value system), he is less conflicted than an insecure person. He does not need to constantly defend his position and prove that he is right. Truly strong people are not conflicted, hot-tempered or irritable. It is easier for them to admit their mistakes and the merits of others.

To restore a shaken value system, there are two ways.

The first is to return everything to its original place. Which is what happens most often in life. We are trying to “restore justice.” Defend your position, prove that you are right. But in fact, we try to leave our value system unchanged. But in nature everything is subject to change. A person cannot have the same value system at 1 year, at 10 years, at 50 years,….

Therefore, situations where changes were not accepted “voluntarily” in a small conflict will be constantly repeated with an inevitable increase in complexity and tension until a person finally realizes the need for change.

Either voluntarily or forcibly (through conflicts, through pain and suffering), a person invariably comes to the need for change, to the need for development .

Secondly , we need to understand that we are ready to integrate the new into our already formed value system. That we can expand and supplement it. You just need to see how.

In fact, this process occurs in any conflict. For example, there is only one TV in the house, and a conflict breaks out over what show to watch.

Yes, the reason can be both the TV and the husband with his football. But what is the real cause of the conflict? For example, my husband says, “I want to watch football, but your TV series are complete nonsense.” The reason is in the words of the husband? No. Why?…

The words catch my value system : that is, what he looks at is important, but the fact that I am is nonsense... so my opinion does not count for anything, so I am “nobody” and “nothing” here...

You feel the difference between just changing the TV channel and feeling like a complete insignificance.

Thus, if we move towards a conscious resolution of the conflict, then its reason is the need to develop my value system. To do this, I need to determine which of my inner values ​​are affected by the conflict.

What is really important to me and what I am ready to give up. What comes first for me is me with my complexes and pretensions, or my family and the ability to build relationships. What is more valuable to me - to defend my position and show who is boss, or to maintain and develop relationships? A family where everyone is on their own and only co-exist together, or a family where there are really deep relationships that become stronger and more harmonious over time...

The deeper the relationship and the closer people are, the more often they become potential “partners” in conflict. This is where the depth of the relationship appears. After all, conflict reflects the need to bring a new quality to a person’s life and is inextricably linked with the development of a person, relationships, family, team,...

With best wishes, Natalya Kharkevich .

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