How to stop nagging your husband: look at it from the other side

If you ask any married woman if she nags her husband , guess what answer we will get 100% of the time? Of course not "! So why, since we are all such exemplary wives, publish this article on sympaty.net? But because if you ask any married man whether his wife “nags” him , then the answer will be... Alas, almost certainly - “ yes ”! Finding out how to stop nagging your husband will not hurt any woman (even unmarried ones - just in case :))!

How do we do this?

If we subject our husbands to constant unconstructive criticism and don’t even notice it ourselves, then we must definitely fight this flaw that destroys family happiness!

Men call this process "sawing" . Women - in different ways:

Reminders (soft and unobtrusive, no more than once every half hour)
Advice from a wise, all-knowing woman
Criticism of his actions, which are not consistent with the opinion of his wife. Constructive, of course!
Discussion in dialogue mode - the woman explains and explains, the man remains silent and assents.

Causes of family scandals

In the first place, of course, is drug addiction, alcoholism, and gambling addiction. This is, of course, a serious reason.

The issue of leadership in the family is also of great importance. The best marriages, by the way, are those where the woman very skillfully leads the man to the idea of dominance. As a rule, in such families, the man is sure that he is the head of the family and decides everything, while the woman constantly gives him smart thoughts so unobtrusively that he doesn’t even notice it and takes these thoughts for his own.

Another reason that can be quite difficult for partners to cope with is cheating on their spouse. How to behave in case of betrayal, especially if it is revealed? Here everything depends on each specific case. In any case, you shouldn’t rush off the handle and immediately file for divorce. The best way out is to sit down and talk, identify the reasons for the betrayal, and try to discuss further actions and desires. Sometimes this helps and a trusting and good relationship remains in the future.

Is it really possible to do without this?!

The man is so unadapted to life ! Even if you have a PhD, remember that to get scrambled eggs that don’t burn, you need to break the eggs into well-heated oil - no way! And sweeping, sweeping with a broom away from you, and not under your feet, is also not possible!

How else to teach him, other than pointing out a mistake every time he makes one ? But no way!

Believe the Beautiful and Successful One - a man also has two arms and two legs, and even a well-functioning brain! He is quite capable of doing whatever is asked of him.

But if he doesn’t do it, it means he doesn’t want to ! He really doesn’t care whether the scrambled eggs are a neat “fried egg” or a “something” spread across the frying pan - if it didn’t matter, he would do something!

Therefore, stop nagging your husband - he is not stupid or armless, all his actions are his conscious choice !

Take care of yourself

Beautiful, fit, smart and thrifty girls will always be in demand among normal guys. To stop being jealous of your man, engage in self-development.

If you don't know how to cook or want to improve your culinary skills, sign up for a chef course.
Be sure to play sports: swimming, gym, tennis or jogging in the morning are good for toning. Physical activity takes a lot of time; there is no energy left for sad thoughts.
Read books on psychology, personal growth training. A confident girl will not be afraid of breaking up with an unfaithful man and will stop comparing herself with more successful representatives of the fairer sex.
Meet and communicate with interesting people. Broaden your horizons in conversations, go to creative and friendly meetings.
Find a method to release negative emotions. This could be communication on forums with like-minded people, or going to the gym.
Generate positive emotions in yourself. Accumulate them, look for them in everything. Try to remember the feelings of joy and happiness, capture them in a photo, write them in a diary.

On a note! According to psychologists, the desire to get rid of pathological jealousy and an independent search for methods to eradicate negative thoughts is the first step towards recovery. Only in this case can a person turn the situation in his favor.

But why is he such an eccentric?!

If your husband does something or thinks about something differently from you , this is not a reason to demand a divorce and a maiden name!

Using primitive examples, everyone understands this - for example, you may not have the same tastes in music, you like different books and films, after all, aren’t you surprised that he doesn’t dream of wearing a frilly dress and doesn’t wear lipstick? Everything is correct - he is a man, the opposite sex, there should be differences !

But when it comes to everyday life (and, by the way, about everyday life in relationships!), many women suddenly forget about this - the husband is urgently required to become something like a twin brother, completely sharing all the opinions and beliefs of his wife !

And it doesn’t matter that you were brought up in different families, have different life experiences, it doesn’t even matter that the psychology of women is very different from men... THIS IS THE ONLY FRIED EGGS!!!

And so the woman begins to nag her husband without ceasing... Until she gets better!

Bring to perfection

In fact, husbands are more often satisfied with their wives and are ready to forgive them more, but wives more often strive to bring their husbands to perfection. True, this happens mainly because men simply, excuse me, don’t care. And women, especially in our time and in our country, are much more responsible - and that’s why they need more.

The man just doesn’t want to command. No, he can and is happy to command - he doesn’t want to take responsibility. And this is the biggest problem - how can a woman inspire a man to take responsibility. To help him do this, one must sometimes demonstratively obey. And when his decisions are irresponsible - so that he sees the fruits of this. Otherwise, when a woman sees that a man is acting irresponsibly, she immediately points his finger at him and makes a responsible decision herself. The husband says: well, fine, then answer. This is not necessary. Responsibility cannot be imposed; inspiration plays the main role here.

Will it get better?!

It may well be. Husbands who have “corrected” as a result of constant sawing are proudly called “henpecked.”

Such specimens behave simply wonderful - they always seek the advice of their wife, they press their heads into their shoulders, just thinking about breaking the rules established by their wife, they never meddle with stupid initiatives, giving the woman the opportunity to speak out first...

Do you want to raise such a husband for yourself? Don't stop nagging him !

True, there is one danger. The man will not be able to bear it and will run away in the midst of the re-education process. And perhaps he will be right!

Make him jealous

You can get rid of suspicion with another effective method: make a guy jealous of his beloved. The main thing is not to overdo it with deception and tricks. The task of a jealous girl is to create the appearance of an affair on the side, but under no circumstances to start an affair for real.

To put your plan into action, use the following methods:

Write less often, call your boyfriend. Don't be constantly online on social networks. If he calls you himself, do not pick up the phone and call back in 10-15 minutes.
For unclear reasons, cancel several dates or reschedule them.
Complain to your loved one that a colleague or fellow student wanted to take you home, was refused, but continues to insist and court you.
Buy a beautiful trinket, put it on the chest of drawers in your room or in your purse. And accidentally let it slip that it was a gift from an old friend.
Communicate more with friends, go to the theater, club, exhibitions without a boyfriend. Post photos of parties on the social network where your loved one is registered. Let the guy see that you are not alone.
Take care of your appearance, change your wardrobe. Prepare carefully for meetings with girlfriends, college or work. The guy will definitely be alarmed.

If you succeed, then the question of how to stop being jealous of a guy will no longer worry you. Now a man must think about cheating, how to get his beloved back.

Literature:

Egorov A. Yu. Modern approaches to the treatment of gambling addiction. Journal of Neurology and Psychiatry. S.S. Korsakov. Special issues. 2014;114(5-2):46-52.
Pyatnitsky N.Yu. Statics and dynamics of psychopathy in the concept of E. Kraepelin. Journal of Neurology and Psychiatry. S.S. Korsakov. 2021;121(7):104-113.
Skokauskas I., Satkeviciute R., Burbv B. Some aspects of pathological attraction to gambling // Psychiatry. 2004. No. 3. P. 59-65.
Darensky I. D. Gambling addiction // Modern achievements in narcology. Conference materials. M„ 2005. P. 44-45.

Article prepared by an expert

Terekhov Vasily Stanislavovich

Head of the prevention department, coordinator of rehabilitation programs.

Article read by an expert

Barinov Alexander Mikhailovich

Psychiatrist, narcologist, psychotherapist. More than 10 years of experience working with alcohol and drug addicts.

Make yourself feel good

Why are we fighting? Because from this we get emotions. After all, the brain doesn’t particularly understand what charge an emotion has – plus or minus. And minus is usually easier to get.

As soon as you want to turn on the saw mode again, say “stop” and do something nice for yourself. Take a bath, rinse off in the shower, get your nails done, eat a banana. Remember your most relaxed state. For example, how did you feel before after intimacy with your husband - did you want to reproach, nag?

If you decide to eradicate the “saw” in yourself, turn to good images more often, learn to enjoy kissing your husband, and not from dissatisfaction with him.

A little about men

“Men always remain children,” women say, but they do not realize what this means. It is a mistake to believe that this means that a man will always be frivolous, childish and stupid, never thinks about anything serious, and thinks only about himself.

In reality, this means that a man’s psychology is designed in such a way that he can be “educated.” Depending on changing environmental conditions, a man begins to adapt to the situation, find a point of balance and comfort, that is, behave in such a way as to minimize external stimuli. If his woman becomes such an irritant, the man seeks to minimize contact with her.

You should not think that such an attitude towards life is a manifestation of selfishness. This is inherent in the psyche of a man, back in ancient times, when the main role of a man was to obtain food, protect housing and other external functions, respectively, the internal sphere of life, the household (home) faded into the background.

Now the world has changed somewhat compared to ancient times. A man no longer hunts mammoths, his prey is a salary, and his protection is the support of the home and the woman in raising children. However, the man’s psyche has not undergone significant changes.

Probably everyone knows that if a child is raised strictly, not allowed to take initiative and punished for any attempt to do something, he will grow up spineless. The same situation applies to men. If a man is constantly told that everything he does is wrong, he will lose the desire to do anything. This is especially true for his woman, since it is her opinion that is the most important person for a man.