Family quarrels and disagreements are very unpleasant and can lead to the destruction of relationships. Women are emotional by nature and often throw out negative emotions on their spouse. Husbands usually keep all their feelings inside, and when they begin to show violent emotions, it becomes clear that they are at their limit. If the husband’s irritation towards his wife has become clearly visible, the woman should sound the alarm. But in order to cope with the current situation, you must first understand it and find out why the husband became so irritated by the once beloved woman, to whom he had previously forgiven everything.
Wife Annoys Her Husband: What She Should NOT Do
- Please be silent!
- But I’m silent anyway. - You think it's annoying. Sherlock Holmes and Lestrade
- 1.What actions of a wife annoy her husband?
- 2.Excessive attachment
- 3.Hints
- 4. Criticisms
- 5.Appearance
- 6.Management by husband
- 7.How to improve relationships
- 8. Summary
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What actions of a wife annoy her husband?
An ideal relationship between two different people is almost unattainable. The foundation of any marriage is patience
. Only thanks to this quality can harmony be achieved.
What to do if one of the spouses absolutely does not want to compromise? Perhaps his feelings have evaporated? Or is there another reason?
A husband may show irritation in cases where he is not satisfied with his wife’s behavior, but he cannot directly tell her about it. It is difficult for a man to say everything directly due to his psychological characteristics. Of course, everyone is individual and everyone has their own reasons for irritation.
When a woman is tormented by the thought: “Am I really irritating my husband with my actions,” she needs to listen to the advice of a psychologist about the possible causes of this irritation.
What is irritation?
From a psychological point of view, irritation is a person’s manifestation of an excessive reaction to objects or phenomena of the surrounding life. In fact, irritability is a sign of a psychological disorder. The following factors may be the causes of such violations.
Fatigue
Here we are not talking about physical fatigue, which manifests itself in exhaustion of the body, but about a psychological problem. Most often, the cause of psychological fatigue is routine - family situation, professional environment, monotony of life, daily responsibilities. All this leads to a loss of joy in life and mental fatigue. A person finds an object of “irritation”, which he uses as a means of “discharge”, pouring all the accumulated negativity onto it. Unfortunately, often someone from close circle becomes such an object.
Prohibitions and restrictions
Here the mechanism of irritation is based on certain rules that are established by the life situation. For example, a wife annoys her husband because she can afford not to work, while he must “work hard” day after day to provide for her and the children.
Specularity
A person is annoying because when communicating with him, character traits inherent in ourselves are revealed, but we categorically do not like them. So, in a family circle, a person allows himself to make unpleasant statements, aggression and intolerance, but he himself does not want to be in such a state and blames his loved ones for his own incontinence.
Anxiety
The reason for constant irritation may be increased anxiety. In this case, people who provoke this anxiety cause persistent hostility - fussy, unreliable, picky, lying, critical. When communicating with such people, you feel an increased threat, which causes irritation.
Irritation is a mental reaction
Excessive affection
Some wives' attachment to their husbands can have a negative impact on the relationship.
Surprised? To understand this, you need to try to change places with your husband. Women's reluctance to make decisions on their own and constant demands on their husband to resolve any issues, even the most insignificant ones, irritate him. She asks: “Do you think this handbag will go with the dress?” He doesn't care about handbags at all, he's busy thinking about work. What will be his reaction?
Constant monitoring of a spouse, reading SMS on his phone, calling with questions about where he is is a reason for irritation of any man. The husband will regard all this as a desire to control him. You don’t need to constantly look into his eyes and ask him what he’s thinking right now, asking about his feelings - you can get an answer that is absolutely unsatisfactory.
Spouse is overly sociable
She constantly wants to talk about something and pour out her heart. By nature, women are more emotional and need to feel that they are loved. Men, on the contrary, feel less need for communication. Especially after a hard day of work, negotiations with clients and solving work problems, when a man thinks only about rest and tranquility. He simply does not have the strength to have intimate conversations with his wife.
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Criticisms
Mutual resentment. Someone must take the first step towards reconciliation...
We are all not perfect, but we must accept the shortcomings of a loved one if he is dear. Women, due to their excessive emotionality, do not pay any attention to the fact that they often list their husband’s shortcomings in public. Be it friends, strangers or your own children.
Humiliating a man in public will also not benefit the relationship. A wife needs to learn to restrain herself in front of strangers, otherwise her husband’s resentment towards her can develop into serious discord. Infringing on a man's pride will affect his feelings for his wife. If criticism of the father is carried out in the presence of children, his authority in the children's eyes can be seriously damaged, and this can have very serious consequences in the future.
A woman perceives a man as a bag of money
At all times, people have been of the opinion that a man is the main breadwinner, and a woman is the keeper of the hearth, mother and mistress. This idea of family life still exists today. However, if a woman demands too much from her husband too often, then he will most likely get tired of this.
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Appearance
Often, many wives are so confident in their relationships that they stop taking care of their appearance.
How can a sloppy, overweight woman in a dirty robe, always yelling at the children and dissatisfied with everything around her, not be annoying? Is this woman like the one he once conquered and gave flowers and compliments? You shouldn’t think that “my husband won’t go anywhere and no one needs him except me.” Such thoughts will not lead to anything good, the husband will prove the opposite
:
- To forget about your appearance means not to love yourself or your husband. You won't be able to look like a cover model, but getting your clothes and hair in order is a must.
- It also doesn’t hurt to remember about a healthy diet - it’s good for your health, skin and figure.
- And doing gymnastics will also relieve depression.
Constant reproaches
Nobody likes to be systematically accused of something and lectured on. It is very difficult to communicate with such a person. A woman may think that in this case she is right and the reproaches are completely justified. Still, it’s worth considering whether the man really committed such a serious offense that he definitely needs to be “nazed.” If this happens regularly, the man will not be able to stand it and may leave the family. Even strong love can come to naught if you constantly reproach a person.
Managing husband
A wife’s attempts to control her husband through tears, emotions, ignoring, and refusing sex will not help in strengthening the relationship.
Men will not appreciate all these “efforts”
:
- frequent tears will develop immunity in the husband; if he previously tried to console and made concessions, then realizing after some time that this is one of her ways to achieve her goal, he will stop reacting;
- Screams and emotions will never help solve a problem, direct conversation is another matter, it is much more effective;
- By ignoring and showing indifference to a man, a woman tries to force him to pay attention to herself, but he draws the exact opposite conclusion from these actions;
- Disciplining your husband by not having sex can lead him to seek solace elsewhere.
What irritates a man in a woman?
Family relationships often consist of many factors. Misunderstandings leading to a quarrel can arise at any time. This is a completely normal development of a conflict situation if both partners understand the reason and the couple makes every effort to resolve it, i.e. takes steps towards each other.
But what to do if your spouse’s irritation becomes constant, love gives way to indifference, and the essence of the claims is not clear and cannot be expressed?
Women by nature are more emotional and often take out the slightest dissatisfaction on a man. Husbands, as a rule, are more restrained, accumulating negative emotions for a long time, hiding behind silence and indifference, but the release of irritation taken to the limit can be extremely dangerous.
If we are not talking about a cooling of feelings due to infidelity, and the husband continues to feel affection for his other half, the reason for the man’s constant irritation may lie in his wife’s behavior.
Infancy
- A woman in marriage perceives her husband as a patron, does not want to take responsibility for solving any issues, and does not recognize responsibility in critical situations.
- Shows excessive affection, more appropriately clingy, asks her husband to accompany her when shopping, choosing clothes, constantly asks for advice and waits for the man to be fully included in the process of solving problems.
- An “eternal girl” is, of course, cute, and at first a man may even like this behavior of his wife, but over time, especially after the birth of a child, a woman must learn to be a wife, i.e. understand that responsibility for solving everyday issues, home comfort and emotional background depend on her.
Constant control
- The wife shows a desire to know absolutely everything about her husband - where he is, what he does, who he communicates with, what messages he receives on social networks.
- Calls an endless number of times throughout the day, gets offended if the husband does not answer the call or message.
- She doesn’t allow her to have a personal social circle, she makes a scene if her husband wants to spend time in male company.
- Constantly asks her husband what he is thinking about, about his feelings towards her.
- Shows groundless jealousy at the slightest occasion - a casual glance, a remark made. This behavior of the wife is regarded by the husband as a desire to control and dominate, mistrust or simply stupidity.
Hints
- For some reason, the wife is sure that her husband should be able to understand her perfectly. She expresses her wishes or requests not directly, but through hints.
- She gets offended or makes a scandal if her husband doesn’t understand her.
Expressing criticism
- There are no ideal people. When getting married, a woman accepted her future husband for who he is. But now she is not satisfied with the current state of affairs, and she does not hesitate to express critical remarks towards her husband. Dissatisfaction with your husband may concern his appearance, behavior, habits, education, income, and decisions made.
- It will irritate and anger a husband no less if his wife allows herself to criticize his parents, relatives or friends.
- The enumeration of the husband's shortcomings, sometimes turning into ridicule, occurs publicly among friends or colleagues. Negative statements addressed to a husband in the presence of children are especially dangerous and painful. Such behavior is nothing more than humiliation of a spouse, suppression of authority, and infringement of male pride.
Changes in appearance
- Some women are so confident in themselves that, while married, they begin to devote less time to self-care.
- Excess weight, unkempt hair, sloppy clothes, an eternally dissatisfied face - this is exactly what a wife can look like from a man’s point of view. Women in this case tend to blame their husbands for coldness, insensitivity, and loss of desire. But you have to face the truth - this is not the kind of woman he once fell in love with.
Manipulation
- A woman’s attempts to control her husband with the help of emotional techniques - tears, whims, hysterics, refusals of sex.
- This behavior leads to the gradual construction of an impenetrable wall between spouses - tears and screams eventually cease to be acutely perceived, since the rules of the game are already known to both, and denial of intimacy can result in a search for warmth and understanding elsewhere.
Wife's behavior is the reason for her husband's constant irritation
How to improve relationships
“My husband often gets irritated, but I don’t understand why...”
What should you do if your husband often gets irritated, says offensive words, indifference to his wife is visible in his eyes, and the woman really wants to return his affection?
In this case, the following advice from psychologists can help the wife:
- when your husband is irritated, you should try to leave him alone with himself, it is better to do what you love at this time, take a walk with the children, go to a friend’s place or to the store;
- You should not talk to your spouse with a commanding note in your voice; calm and gentle speech will help relieve tension and establish mutual understanding;
- at moments when the husband is irritated and some issues need to be resolved, you should not make a decision alone, it is better to wait for his mood to change and discuss everything together;
- if your husband’s irritability has been prolonged, he does not want to communicate, he has retired to another room and this continues for several days, the way out of the situation will be a change of scenery: a trip, a trip out of town, a hike;
- each person needs a certain time to relieve irritation; if a husband quickly forgets the negative, you need to try to call him for a frank conversation and find out the reason for his frequent irritation; in cases where a man does not make contact for a long time, you should seek help from a psychologist.
How to relieve your husband's irritation?
It is necessary to find out what exactly makes him furious, discuss the situation with him and find a way out of it. Only through dialogue can rapid positive results be achieved.
What a wife should not do:
- Arrange a showdown on the topic “and you infuriate me even more”;
- Ignore signals coming from your husband;
- Taking out dissatisfaction on children;
- Complain about your husband’s claims to your parents and friends.
If you can’t fix the problem yourself, you need to:
- Contact a psychologist or family counselor. A professional will help you build the right strategy for family behavior.
- Contact a neurologist. Perhaps it is a problem with the health of the nervous system, in which case drug treatment is required.
- Contact a religious minister. Many couples find faith helpful in times of marital crisis.
Annoying wife
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