Author Ekaterina Shirokova
02/08/2022 10:39 (Updated: 02/08/2022 14:00)
Society
The modern world, seemingly flooded with communication on social networks and the Internet, has been overtaken by a new catastrophe - total loneliness. In a conversation with Pravda.Ru, psychotechnologist Sergei Markelov explained how to stop locking yourself within four walls, even if you really want to, and break the “cocoon” of loneliness.
Psychotechnologist: It’s very easy to get rid of loneliness
The specialist emphasized that the habit of “blaming the whole world” is inherent in everyone, but first of all it is necessary to admit that it is you who do not want to open up to this very world.
Feeling lonely in life
Everyone now remembers how they lost a friend, loved one or just a loved one. We are all different, and accordingly, our attitude towards such a feeling as loneliness will also vary.
Could you name a person who has not experienced this feeling at least once in his life? Everyone now remembers how they lost a friend, loved one or just a loved one. We are all different, and accordingly, our attitude towards this feeling will also vary.
For some, the feeling of loneliness is expressed in the burden of existence, which is filled with depression and a sense of personal insignificance, from the inability to live the way they like, to have an interesting job and a loved one nearby.
For others, it is expressed in a gray, measured and predictable life, which simply makes you “sick” when you know the “schedule” of all your life events.
The feeling of loneliness is familiar to the poor and the rich, the successful and the unsuccessful. Being alone for a while can even be beneficial. You take a break from excessive communication, put your thoughts in order, and engage in creativity. But if you leave a person in complete isolation from external stimuli for more than 2-3 days, he will develop mental disorders. Humans are social creatures and contact with another person is an integral part of our lives.
When the feeling of loneliness becomes a pathology
Have you ever thought that the period associated with loneliness depends not so much on external factors, but on a person’s personal attitude towards himself? During this period, we are in thought, comprehending our life experiences, making choices, and restoring strength. It is by going through the feeling of loneliness that a person looks at love, family or friendship relationships differently, becomes wiser and more tolerant, and perhaps finds love again. Taking into account everything said above, the definition of loneliness is as follows.
The feeling of loneliness is an acute complex experience of the loss of trusting contact with oneself and/or with another significant person. This mental state causes a person to feel a loss of connection with a significant part of themselves and the world around them. Often, actions prompted by loneliness go against the expectations of the person himself, and, therefore, are perceived as undesirable. But at the same time, this is an opportunity to shake things up and start looking for a way out of this situation.
A review of research on this topic suggests that there are 2 trends in the world of science. They view loneliness equally, both negatively and positively, without coming to one indisputable opinion. The contradictions are due to the fact that one side finds arguments for a destructive influence on the individual, while the other considers this period a necessary stage of self-determination and self-knowledge. In the context of this article, we are more interested in loneliness as internal psychological discomfort. In modern social psychology, only two types of sensation are distinguished.
Types of feelings of loneliness
- Aloneness (silence, solitude) is a feeling of a positive nature when a person has opportunities for solitude, and he wants to be alone, rethinking and experiencing the events occurring in a given period of his life.
- Loneliness (longing) is a feeling of a negative nature when a person has an acute, tormenting feeling as a result of the lack of significant relationships. However, in fact, he always has a social environment and people who periodically try to establish relationships with him. At the same time, this person considers himself staunchly lonely and “pushes away” possible partners. That is, staying alone is one’s own initiative, expressed by the words: “not ready”, “can’t”, “shouldn’t” and others.
If there is a constant feeling of sadness
By and large, we come into this world alone and leave, just as alone. And throughout our lives there is a struggle in vain attempts to get rid of this feeling. This is evidenced by almost all known philosophical concepts, from Socrates to Hegel.
A baby, lonely without a mother. A teenager who feels misunderstood and ridiculed, causing him to withdraw into himself. A young man, narcissistic to the point of loneliness. A cornered adult, feeling frustrated and lonely. Old, sick, scared and again lonely. Death alone.
This is the life of a constantly lonely person. Is this how you imagine your life?
If you still have the strength and, most importantly, the desire to fight, learn to trust the natural course of events. Behind the main reason for the feeling of melancholy, distrust of the world, lies fear: deception, betrayal, resentment, pain. This is due to the inability to forgive, let go and forget.
In any case, you have to choose whether to stay alone or start solving the problem you have discovered. If you can’t cope on your own, there are always specialists ready to help.
Loneliness in relationships
People who live alone cannot imagine that feeling lonely with a partner is also possible. According to experts, this problem is much more widespread than it seems.
People can live with their spouse for years, fearing condemnation, not wanting to share property, because of common children, fear of starting over, or other reasons. If this is your story, then we would like to remind you that everyone has the right to happiness. And only you yourself know what brings happiness to you.
Teenage loneliness
The problem of loneliness among adolescents is often isolation from peers for various reasons. Because of this, negative experiences of frustration, anxiety, and depression appear that disrupt interpersonal relationships.
Loneliness during pregnancy
Usually during pregnancy all mental disorders are smoothed out. The woman’s body and thoughts seem to be adjusted to a new way. But from time to time, unfavorable external circumstances and the fear of harming the baby raise a whole whirlpool of experiences in a woman’s soul. Use the surging feeling of loneliness to think about the changes that are coming into your life, understand yourself, and finally, talk to your future child. He is inside you, alive, hears and understands everything.
There are also forums, schools for mothers, and of course, psychologists. Contact us and you will be heard!
Loneliness in marriage
When hearing a complaint about loneliness in marriage, a family psychologist usually advises talking openly with each other. Find out what it is, indifference or fatigue? If you are both interested in maintaining the relationship, then everything can be fixed. Better yet, trust a professional.
Loneliness is always expressed subjectively. A miracle remedy has not yet been invented that helps everyone equally. Therefore, you need to work with the problem with an individual approach to each person, and this is a matter for a specialist. But general recommendations nevertheless exist.
Ways to overcome loneliness
- Take a break, read a book or listen to music.
- Find your life's work. This could be learning a new skill, starting a business, or simply becoming more professional at your job.
- Visit a new place you've always wanted to visit.
- Think about a new design for your home or just buy your favorite interior decorations.
- Meet new people. Perhaps someone is just as lonely as you right now and will be happy to respond to your invitation.
- Take up fitness, sports or creativity, if you have such a hobby.
- Go shopping. Change your own style.
- Walk outdoors more often, go to nature.
Getting rid of the feeling of loneliness, each person finds something of his own that helps him cope with loneliness. A person, as a rule, either accepts this feeling and tries to live with it, learning to build new relationships. Or he switches to other things, interests, hobbies, and immerses himself in work.
No matter how trivial it may sound, life is surprisingly fleeting. And the problem of loneliness is just one aspect of life. Every person has the right to be successful, happy and prosperous. You just need to take the first step towards this.
Help from professionals
The Transfiguration clinic employs experienced psychotherapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists with the highest degree of qualification. They will be able to understand and sort out the reasons and give the necessary recommendations for getting rid of negative sensations, feelings, and thoughts.
It is possible to send a letter to the address and they will definitely answer you!
Medical and psychological support at the Transfiguration clinic meets all international standards for the quality and variety of this type of care.
A friendly atmosphere, understanding and participation in your problem will allow you to quickly and effectively restore your mental health. Come, we will be happy to help you!
For modern people, loneliness is a common condition. Nowadays people are isolated from each other. Due to the eternal pursuit of material well-being and their own superiority, they do not have the energy and time to create strong emotional connections with other people and build close, trusting relationships.
Positive and negative sides
Your position has its advantages:
- In order to relieve stress from the crazy rhythm of modern life, it is useful to be sad with a mug of coffee. This will give you the opportunity to relieve tension and sort your thoughts into shelves.
- Now you can understand, for example, your parents, whom you haven’t called for a long time. Make up for this omission immediately.
- Your current position will teach you to be open to people without any self-interest. You will understand what it is like to appreciate those around you.
And the cons:
- Severe, oppressive loneliness can lead to deep stress from which it is difficult to lift a person out of it. And these are health problems, sometimes serious.
- A habitual way of life can kill all the strengths of a person’s personality: self-esteem will fall, a bunch of complexes will appear, and problems in socialization will appear. So don't delay.
- You will lose interest in everything at all.
We draw conclusions: you can sometimes succumb to the blues, but not to despair.
So, this article is written to help you answer the question: how to get rid of loneliness? Exactly get rid of
, and not reconcile. Then it’s up to you and what conclusions you have now drawn for yourself. We hope that if we didn’t convince you, we at least brightened up a boring evening.
Loneliness for a person
Living in huge cities, working in large companies, and moving frequently is also fertile ground for loneliness. Low self-esteem, self-doubt, introversion, and psychological trauma can lead to loneliness. Many people feel lonely most of their lives.
Loneliness, the forced opportunity to spend a lot of time alone with oneself, makes people think about the meaning of life, about their purpose, their place in the world.
Such reflections usually lead to the fact that a person sooner or later begins to doubt himself, to believe that he has achieved nothing, to feel incapable of anything, misunderstood, unloved, useless; such reflections very often cause depression.
What will happen if everything is left as is?
1. Nothing will change . If a woman does not make any attempts to change or improve her life, she will remain in her armor.
If this is a “me myself” program, she will decide everything on her own and will not allow men to enter her field. But you can’t fool nature; she wants to be loved.
Imagine: a man comes into your life and says, “I want to love you and be loved.” And you want this, but you answer: “Prove it to me. I can do everything myself. Prove that you can be there for me."
Why does he need this? He simply came to love and be loved. He doesn't know about your fears, blocks, traumatic experiences. He doesn't want and doesn't have to prove anything.
2. Fear will increase . Time passes, life passes, and you will hope and live in illusions that the prince will come. Rich, gentle, smart, beautiful, understanding...
One that does not exist in nature. Meanwhile, fear blocks your attempts to meet a man, you will continue to simply passively wait for the fairy-tale hero.
There are no princes. There are ordinary earthly men who have their own fears, complexes, and blocks. Don't expect him to be a superman.
For example, a successful businessman or banker a priori cannot be soft and fluffy, otherwise he would not achieve anything. These are our illusions.
