- October 6, 2018
- Psychology of communication
- Ekaterina Gordeeva
I've wanted to change jobs for so long! We looked for suitable vacancies, sent our resumes, and went for interviews. It was necessary to find not just anything, but the job of your dreams.
She has been found. The first day of work is simply amazing. On the second, something is not quite right. On the third, you notice that your colleagues are not looking at you friendly at all. And a week later the realization comes: I don’t like the new job.
And what to do in this situation? Run away right away? Endure with your teeth clenched? Let's look at the current problem.
Finding out the reasons
Before making any decisions, let's carefully analyze why you don't like the job. The reasons may be as follows:
- Not satisfied with job responsibilities.
- The team is unsuccessful.
- I don't like the manager's attitude.
- The salary is different than promised.
- Not at all what I would like to do.
Now let's look at each of them in detail.
Job responsibilities
Don't like the job? Was your new job not at all what you thought it would be? At the interview, the future manager colorfully described what wonderful responsibilities you would have. The reality turned out to be the complete opposite of his tales.
Did you apply for the position of PR manager, but at the workplace it turned out that you would have to become a “talking bird”? In other words, engage in telephone sales. And there is no smell of PR here.
What to do? Be sure to talk to your manager. Express to him your view of the situation, explain that this is not in your competence. If a person doesn’t want to meet you halfway, shrugs it off and says that you will learn or this is temporary, the choice is yours. But it is better to write a statement of your own free will. The leader begins to build communication with lies. Why do you need this? Who knows what such deceit on the part of the boss will lead to. He will also expose you to higher management in order to shield himself. You need to run away from such a person, the faster the better. You will find a job, especially if your previous place gave you good recommendations.
Internal protest or “Not only do I not like my job, I don’t like the work at all”
The need to choose or change a profession, get a job somewhere, then perform work duties, and the very word “responsibilities” evoke disgust and a feeling of protest in you. You believe that work is a person’s punishment for sins. Work from the word "slave". A working person gives his strength so that his employer prospers, while he himself drags out a miserable existence.
You are now in the state of a child who is protesting against parental coercion. The idea that you need to work is not your own, it is imposed on you from the outside. Therefore, you have no awareness of why you need this, there is only a pressing “MUST”. And you protest because you want to defend freedom. Only you are sending your protest to the wrong address.
What to do?
First, realize that you don't have to work. There are other options. You can find a way to earn passive income (rent an apartment, for example), or open your own business (if you resent the thought of working “for someone else”). In the end, you can try to find someone who will agree to support you... or even become a vagabond. This may also be your choice.
True, work provides many advantages: independent life, the opportunity not to depend financially on other people, joy from the work itself and from the opportunity to create, help, influence. The question is, what kind of lifestyle do you want to lead yourself? Give yourself permission to want or not to want, make a decision yourself, and the feeling of protest will pass.
It's about the team
Don't like the team at your new job? Unfortunately, this is a fairly common occurrence. Especially in women's groups. Gossip, deceptions and other “joys” of joint work.
How to be in this case? Start by reducing communication to a minimum. Only for work. Do not drink tea together, do not start pleasant conversations. And if they persistently ask about personal things, then with a sweet smile make it clear that you are not going to air your dirty laundry in public.
It came to the point of being set up in front of the manager. What should a beginner do? Don’t hesitate, boldly defend your position. If necessary, demand that the surveillance cameras be raised. It's not your fault, you have nothing to fear.
Imagine the situation: two salespeople worked in a pet store on different shifts. One of them arrived quite recently, a couple of months ago at most. One day, the purchasing manager lost his wallet. How is this possible? Yes, everyone simply undressed in the common locker room, and the level of trust was such that the lockers were not locked. This is rare now, but still.
And so the sellers are called to the director. They start interrogating the new guy. But he was not at a loss and suggested calling the police and raising the cameras. When the cameras looked, they realized that the newcomer was not to blame. It was never clear who committed the theft. But the new seller was not in the locker room at that time.
Burnout or apathy?
Many centuries ago, an eighth was added to the list of the seven deadly sins or “bad thoughts” - apathy. Sometimes the monks reached a state in which they could no longer perform their daily duties. This term was first used to describe this phenomenon. The words “laziness” and “slowness” describe behavior during apathy, but do not cover the full range of emotional experiences.
These days, symptoms of apathy resemble burnout. From a theological point of view, the loss of the ability to rejoice and enjoy comfort meant indifference to the world and the inability to appreciate and understand the existential issues of life.
Manager's attitude
Don't like your new job because of your boss? At the interview he was just a sweetheart. But before the newcomer had time to really join the team, it all started. A quibble here and there. And all this is done so sarcastically.
What to do? Try to call the manager for a conversation. Ask him what he doesn't like about your job. And consult with him how this can be corrected, what result he would like to see.
An adequate boss will appreciate this. If you come across a careless leader who asserts himself at the expense of his subordinates, there is nothing you can do about it. You'll have to endure it or quit.
How to distinguish depression from bad mood?
The medical community identifies clear criteria for depressive disorder:
- The duration of a period of depressed mood (hypotymia) is more than 2 weeks, during which a depressive mood predominates during the day and is present every day.
- Severe mental retardation (bradyphrenia).
- Significant decrease in activity and increased fatigue (hypobulia).
- A distinct decrease in interest in previously favorite activities and the disappearance of the ability to derive pleasure from them (anhedonia).
If symptoms such as hallucinations, depressive stupor (impaired motor activity up to stupor), or a state of delirium appear, you should not hesitate to consult a doctor.
Salary is different
Don't like the job? The new job should be enjoyable and satisfying in terms of money. And if the first part is in perfect order, then there is something wrong with the second... Did you receive your first salary and were unpleasantly surprised? Expectations were not met, the amount was lower than promised during the interview?
Go to the manager. Perhaps this is an accounting error. If there is no mistake, and the manager says that this is for the duration of the probationary period, raise the employment contract. Is there a clause in it that during the probationary period the salary is a certain amount? If not, then feel free to link to it.
The boss vows to pay the missing amount next month? Intimidate him by contacting the labor inspectorate. It does not work? Then write a statement to the prosecutor's office.
After this, you will most likely have to leave your job. But it is better to emerge victorious from the game than to humbly endure the infringement of your rights in the future. And this will happen again if the manager once allowed himself to cut wages without explaining the reasons.
Alarming symptoms
There are many symptoms that indicate the onset of depression.
- Decreased concentration and performance . Tasks that a person previously completed quickly can take much longer.
- Distancing from professional responsibilities . The employee becomes indifferent to his work, makes mistakes more often, and wastes working time on extraneous matters.
- Decline of physical and moral strength . A person may simply be unable to get out of bed and begin his duties, or, on the contrary, have physical strength, but avoid work.
- Depressed mood and apathy . Pessimistic thoughts, melancholy and sadness become a constant companion of the employee: he ceases to see prospects in his career, does not react emotionally to both pleasant and unpleasant events. People around you may note that their friend has become indifferent to everything that is happening.
- Self-injury . Sometimes the patient begins to condemn himself for no reason; he is accompanied by a constant inadequate feeling of guilt. The situation can reach the point of self-harm (deliberate self-harm) or the appearance of suicidal thoughts.
- Lack of joy in life . One of the most characteristic symptoms of depression is the disappearance of pleasure from those things that previously brought positive emotions to a person. This can also include a drop in libido.
- Sleep disorders . Problems falling asleep and frequent awakenings at night should be no less alarming than sleeping for 12 hours or more without feeling recuperated.
- Appetite disorders . Uncontrolled overeating or, on the contrary, a complete lack of appetite begins to affect weight changes up or down.
Some symptoms may appear more pronounced, while others may be absent altogether, but if any of them occurs, you need to pay attention to your condition.
The soul does not lie
Got a new job? Don't like it and are worried about it? Everything seems to be fine, but your soul doesn’t lie down? There are such situations. The employee shows up for an interview and everything goes well. The office is modern, the boss is adequate, and the colleagues are friendly. Great people have been selected. The salary is satisfactory.
And still something is not right. I don’t feel like going to the office, I don’t want to fulfill my duties. You feel that despite all the “goodies”, this is not your place. What should I do?
Remember that it takes three months to adapt. Work this time. If nothing changes, then leave.
Psychologists' opinions
The man has already changed several jobs. He doesn't like it anywhere. So you don’t like yet another new job: should you endure it or leave it?
Psychologists believe that people tend to search for themselves. Work should bring, first of all, moral satisfaction. If this is not the case, no salary will be retained.
And then there are people who are called “flyers.” It is clear that the time when people worked at one factory for several decades has sunk into oblivion. But changing jobs every year does not do a person any credit.
If every time you become uninterested at work and you don’t stay at it for more than a year, be prepared for the fact that employers may treat you as a “flyer.” This type of people does not stay anywhere. As a rule, they do not like to work, and difficulties frighten them. Here he grabbed the top, there he ran over the top, without really delving into the work. As a result, it turns out that he did not become an intelligent specialist.
More variety!
Well, if it is not possible to change your place of employment, you will have to act in a different direction.
Does your job bring you no joy? This means that we need to find another source of it that will supply a person with such a sea of pleasure that the working day in an unloved place will begin to pass easier and faster. At least because he will be warmed by the anticipation of something good.
Having found a source of joy and inspiration, a person will feel a certain rainbow fullness. An outlet in the form of a hobby will not only diversify life, but also give strength, energy, and confidence. In addition, a hobby can give a person a new goal with which he will be “on fire.” He will have something for which it will be interesting to live. Anger will disappear, as well as aggression and resentment towards one’s fate, because all this appears due to monotony and boredom. Work will no longer come to the fore. It will simply begin to be perceived by a person as a source of income.
Need forced
Don't like the job? A new job was found “on the run.” It happens? It happens quite often. For example, we had a fight at a previous job and quit under the influence of emotions. There are no savings, but we need something for something. Here you don’t have much choice, we go to the first place we come across.
It would seem a completely absurd situation. However, it usually occurs among young professionals. I don’t want to make concessions; it seems that all roads lie at my feet. Wherever I want, I’ll go and work there. You have a diploma in your pocket; with a higher education they will take you anywhere.
Alas, the reality turns out to be different. Parents drive them to work, and an employee with minimal experience is not particularly needed. We take what they give.
Or they laid off workers from the company. They paid the necessary sums of money, double the salaries. And the person is the only breadwinner in the family. And the sums, which seemed large, began to melt before our eyes. He tries to find a job in his specialty, but nothing comes of it. Something more or less suitable turned up, so I went there.
In this case, it is natural that you do not like the new job. What to do? If you practically never had to change your job, then you can take a risk. Start searching for what you like. But don't leave this job until you find something you like. It won't be easy. Sometimes the search takes six months or more. Don't give up, keep searching.
Have you found a suitable option, passed the interview and realized that it’s not for you? Write a statement of your own free will.
A useful burst of energy
What to do if you no longer like your job, and everything connected with it causes only hostility? You need to find a way to throw out your negative energy. This is really important because this situation can lead to a state of chronic high tension. It is accompanied by disruption of the functioning of the body, the functioning of the autonomic nervous system, muscle pain, insomnia, etc.
Psychologists recommend going in for sports or some other active activity. Many people neglect this advice, citing fatigue. From morning to evening at a job you don’t like, and then go to the gym after that? Exactly. Unloved work causes stress, which is considered a physiological reaction involving the release of adrenaline into the blood in small but regular doses. In modern conditions, the body has nothing to spend the energy it receives on. It accumulates, as a result of which a person quickly gets tired and “wears out”, hence eternal fatigue. Playing sports can help you use this energy purposefully and constructively.
Plus, glucose levels are regulated, endorphins are produced, tissues and organs are saturated with oxygen, and moderate exercise helps to warm up and feel more energetic. Therefore, when you no longer like your job, what you need to do is go to the gym.
Tricks of life
Don't like the job? Are you already tired of your new job? How long have you been on vacation? Or, after working for a couple of years without him, did you move on to a new job? The body is simply tired and signals that it needs rest.
What to do in this case? After all, they just arrived at a new place. Hold out by hook or by crook for three months. And then go on sick leave. Just not for two or three weeks. For a few days. On Friday morning they “fell ill” and were discharged on Monday.
Cheating, of course, is not good. But it’s worth using this method when you no longer have the strength. It’s better to lie on the couch at home, tormented by remorse, than to have a nervous breakdown. And in the end, angry because of nonsense, follow the lead of emotions, writing a letter of resignation.
If the boss is adequate, you can do without sick leave. Call him on Friday morning and ask for time off, citing illness or family circumstances.
Nine out of ten managers would agree without a problem. Moreover, if the employee has proven himself well during his time working in this place. Why not make a concession to him, since the person is sick.
What if he tells you to take sick leave? Whereas? You can remember your chronic diseases, or refer to a headache, an acute respiratory infection, and so on. Doctors are people too, they will understand that you need to rest, especially if you thank them for it.
