Criticism - its reasons, how to react, how to criticize in favor?

Criticism in people's lives is one of its integral components. We criticize ourselves (self-criticism), we like to criticize others (protecting pride or showing influence), but we do not always do it correctly. There is positive criticism, which one should learn to perceive adequately to reality, as well as negative criticism, prompted by anger, envy, and other negative emotions experienced by a particular person. The psychology of criticism is a controversial area of general psychology. She deserves special attention. The publication discusses ways to deal with criticism and tips on how to respond to it. And not only.

Psychology of criticism and its types

Before delving into the topic, let's understand what criticism is. In general, this is an analysis, a value judgment about a particular phenomenon, object, or quality of a person. Sometimes this is a way of expressing and demonstrating knowledge, skills, and abilities. It can be directed not only at everyday things or objects, at people, but also at larger-scale objects: films, paintings, and other works of art.

It should be understood that the concept of “criticism” itself is much deeper than we are used to thinking. Its tasks are not limited to belittling someone’s merits or belittling the qualities of an object or subject. It is needed for:

identifying contradictions, errors, and analyzing them;
analysis, discussion of a subject or object in order to give an assessment (example - literary criticism);
research, verification of facts.

Like any other phenomenon, or rather judgment, criticism can be positive and negative. In the first case, this is a judgment for the benefit, in the second, solely for the sake of humiliating the dignity, belittling the qualities of the subject or object.

What criticism do you face most often?

With a positive one. I am surrounded by friendly people, they are objective.

25%

Positive, but often it is not objective.

16.67%

From the negative. I am often criticized, and they do it for objective reasons.

16.67%

On the negative side, criticism is not always objective.

41.67%

Voted: 12

Where to start if you want to criticize constructively?

We will talk in more detail about how to correctly express critical comments in the next material, but there are several general rules. Ekaterina Sigitova advises that before criticizing another person, count to ten and try to understand your motives. “If they are connected with helping the person being criticized, good. If they are more about you, but the subject of criticism does not directly affect your life, it is better to remain silent,” she notes.

You should not turn your remark into an accusatory monologue: criticism is, first of all, a form of communication. Your comments should always be respectful and friendly. Ekaterina Sigitova considers the “sandwich rule” to be the main rule of constructive criticism: “Place your comments between two positive statements: first praise, then criticize, and finally praise again.”

It is important to understand that criticism is a skill that can and should be learned if there is a desire

Illustrations: Katya Dorokhina

Why do people criticize?

Some do this all the time out of habit, others are professional critics. Yes, there are some. This is an independent profession. There are, for example, literary critics, film critics, people who professionally evaluate music, the qualities of people (public relations specialists who create an image for public figures).

Often, the judgments of professionals about the analyzed, evaluated objects and subjects are fair and objective. The point is that fairness and objectivity are literally job descriptions in these examples. Such people do not pursue personal interests, they are not consumed by envy or emotions. They have a purpose. And it is strictly professional in nature.

There are also people for whom criticism is something like a habit. They deliberately look for negative qualities in something or someone in order to show others their “sharp” mind and even superiority. They don't know good intentions. Critics are closer to causticism; they need moral nourishment from the very fact that someone or something is worse than is commonly believed. Unfair judgments are all such people live by. They can be objective, but they do not know how to present themselves and their opinions. Instead of solving the problem or correcting the mistakes made in a fit of desire to condemn everything and everyone, they will stand their ground.

There is a special class of people who consider themselves professional critics, but put forward subjective judgments that are not adequate to reality. A striking example of this is amateur reviews under the auspices of “professionalism” online or in real life about movies, music, and other people (comments under photos on social networks or direct statements). These people are far from professionals, but at the same time they are not driven by such motives as envy, anger or the desire to belittle something or someone. They do not seek to cause moral or material harm; they are driven by the thought of their own “professionalism.”

Thus, in the context of the topic, a professional critic is a person who does serious work and gives objective assessments.

An amateur is a person dependent on judgments about others; he cannot live without it. The fact of searching and finding flaws in objects, things, phenomena, and people is important to him. He enjoys it.

The last type of people indicated are subjective individuals, their judgments have nothing to do with reality. They consider themselves professionals and think that they should teach others. However, unlike amateurs, it should be noted that such people do not “feed” on malice or anger.

Who do you consider yourself to be: a professional, an amateur or a subjective critic?

I criticize people, objects, and phenomena exclusively objectively. I'm professional.

37.5%

I love to criticize people and things around me, I enjoy it.

12.5%

To be honest, I constantly criticize everything and everyone, on and off topic, but I do it subjectively.

50%

Voted: 8

Giving out their opinion without asking

The idea of responding only upon request (to anything) is also extremely difficult for a person of our mentality to comprehend. The “default” checkboxes are set in our heads so that any manifestation of any person in the environment automatically means that everyone passing by has the undeniable right to evaluate these manifestations, condemn them, say something about them, and somehow react to the best of their ability. strength and intelligence. And expect that they will listen to him (and even better, if they take note and thank him). Also, by default, the “get offended, angry and speak out if you don’t want to listen (accept, thank)” checkbox is checked.

IT IS ALMOST NEVER ABLE TO EXPLAIN THAT IT IS ACTUALLY THE OVERSEAS. Even now I’m not sure that I’ll be able to finish shouting. But, you see, I'm trying. There is still hope.

People! If there was no demand in the environment for your reactions, then you simply should not have any urge to “criticize”. And even more so, there should be no resentment that someone is not interested in your opinion and you as its source. You can have feelings, thoughts and reactions in response to any stimulus. But they are only yours, and you have to deal with them. If for some reason they immediately have a vector towards feedback to the source of the stimulus, then this is unhealthy garbage, on many counts at once. Work with unhealthy crap, please, and don’t use it on others in vain. Beating won't help.

Why does criticism offend people?

Human psychology is such that not everyone is ready to perceive value judgments adequately to reality. Even if a person objectively evaluates the qualities or character of the subject of evaluation. Many people turn on a defensive reaction in the form of a retaliatory search for flaws, shortcomings, in the form of a desire to show an imaginary opponent that he is “also far from ideal.” This is often characteristic of people with high self-esteem, inflated out of nothing. This is a problem for them, because even the judgments of well-wishers are met with hostility.

So, let's look at why people might be offended by criticism. Here are typical examples with reasons:

judgments are not adequate to the facts . An example is amateur, unprofessional criticism. This is when, say, a teacher blames a student for looking for a solution to a problem in an unconventional way, but getting the result. We can’t talk about objectivity here;
criticism is excessive . There are vulnerable and touchy people who, when faced with being criticized, do not defend themselves using objective facts, but simply “absorb”, being offended. At the same time, they are not ready to do anything even with themselves. Even if the value judgments made against them are objective;
criticism is a consequence of aggression or anger . Any person, realizing that here and now they are trying to criticize him or are being criticized only because there is a hidden grudge, that a conflict has occurred, may experience a feeling of indignation and resentment. He understands that if it weren’t for the problematic situation, nothing would have happened.

Have you ever encountered criticism that was offensive?

Yes. And often it is judgments that are not adequate to reality that cause resentment. Excessive criticism also hurts.

44.44%

No. I perceive any criticism objectively and evaluate myself first.

I don't care about criticism. Let them think what they want about me. I know myself better than anyone.

22.22%

Any value judgment addressed to me hurts me very much. If it's not positive.

33.33%

Voted: 9

Constructive

Constructive criticism is a way to express your own opinion in order to provide assistance.

This type of criticism has the following key features:

Pointing out not only the negative, but also the positive aspects.
The critic does not move on to discussing personality.
The presence of compelling arguments without pressure and categoricalness.
The presence of specific and understandable phrases.

A critic clearly demonstrates to a person the shortcomings of his position or actions from the outside so that he has the opportunity to correct them.

If handled correctly, such comments can be of great benefit.

Now that you know what kind of criticism there is, let’s talk about their differences.

There are three criteria by which you can understand how much it is worth listening to controlling demands and whether they are constructive for you personally.

1. Does the criticism provide clear guidance on what is best to do?

If it is difficult to conclude from the words of a criticizing person what exactly he wants, it becomes unclear what to do next.

Even if you agree with a criticism, it doesn't mean you understand how to fix it.

If the critic is ready to conduct a dialogue, then a detailed clarification of individual requirements will help to understand the situation.

But we must not forget that sometimes the goal of the critic is not to correct shortcomings or help the interlocutor, but to demonstrate power and the desire to put the person in his place.

Therefore, it does not always make sense to seek detailed instructions. If you suspect that they simply want to hurt you, then you should act less openly.

Ask for practical recommendations from a person who really wants to feel superior to you. Give him the opportunity to teach himself.

This will allow him to begin to calm down a little. Don't rely on one conversation. Ask for advice several times from a person who has influence on you, pointing out his experience and professionalism in the matter.

If there is no strong dependence on the critic, you can afford to ignore his comments. In this case, the situation becomes much simpler.

2. To what extent are the instructions provided by the critic feasible?

Let's say you understand what the critic is advising you to do, and perhaps you agree that it would be good to improve something.

But here the question of the realistic requirements arises. There may not be enough resources to complete them, or the requirements require abilities that you do not have.

Or you can follow the recommendations, but only partially, which clearly does not suit the critic. He will insist that the advice be implemented in full.

In all these cases, criticism instantly turns into destructive, meaningless.

How can a person who often loses something guarantee that it will stop? He can try, but it is not always possible to improve the degree of his attentiveness.

This means that the demands of such criticism are not very fair.

3. Are the instructions aligned with your personal goals?

The same controlling criticism may be fair for some people, but unacceptable for others.

The critic may insist that his belief is equally true for everyone. But this happens extremely rarely, with the exception of isolated cases.

For example, requirements that are standardized for everyone relate to compliance with the law. Otherwise, it is very important to focus on your long-term goals.

Everything is simple here: in order to meet all possible reasonable requirements, you need to spend your whole life without a trace.

We simply don't have enough time to do everything we might want to do, and so everyone is forced to choose.

Often people who strongly criticize themselves base their decision making on the opinions of the most significant people.

Such a loyal attitude to the words spoken to them can make them ignore their interests and needs in life.

If, when analyzing the main types of criticism on the first two questions, you received satisfactory answers, then it is worthwhile to figure out how much the implementation of critical remarks corresponds to your interests in life.

In addition to the lack of specificity and inappropriateness, the following signs define unconstructive criticism:

Getting personal, when a critic expresses an opinion not about a person’s actions or thoughts, but about himself, while expressing disrespect.
Minutism, where the critic focuses on minor aspects that do not have an important impact on the overall position or process.
Unsubstantiated, when there are no arguments or specific examples from life on the part of the critic.
Lack of objectivity, demonstration by the critic of obvious superiority and confidence in his one hundred percent rightness.

Think about how relevant the criticism you receive is to you personally. This will help you develop the best response to comments and advice.

Rules for using criticism

Criticism will only fully comply with the concept we presented at the beginning of the article (analysis, evaluation, judgment on the principles of objectivity) when it is reasoned and benevolent. Professionals are of the opinion that the combination of benevolence and objectivity is the “golden rule” of any specialist working in the field of criticism. Yes, they are pros at finding disadvantages, they see shortcomings and point out them, but they understand that if they hurt someone or offend them, they will not get results and will not become in demand.

Here are examples of how to use criticism correctly and incorrectly (within different situations):

school. Teacher and pupil. The latter failed to cope with the task. It’s bad to tell him: “You won’t make an intelligent person.” It’s good: “You need to try harder, you will be able to solve more difficult problems”;
production. Boss and subordinate. The latter allows for the release of marriage. It’s bad if the boss says: “We don’t need such workers, we’re losing money.” It’s good when he objectively assesses the situation: “This will lead to small losses, we will not feel them. Please be more careful to avoid mistakes in the future. We believe in your professionalism";
public transport. Young man and grandmother. The latter inadvertently soils the former’s shoes with her stroller. It’s bad if a young man says: “Blind old woman, don’t you see where you’re throwing your junk?” It’s good if he makes a gentle remark: “Granny, you need to be more careful.”

These are just examples.

The most important principles of criticism: objectivity, balance, logic, benevolence, reasoning. Without observing them, any judgment turns into a stream of unfounded verbal anger, even if the presentation is soft.

The main types of authors of evaluative statements

Critical people can be divided into four main categories (including destructive criticism):

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Not an expert, a stranger. This type of critic, as a rule, is not an expert in the type of activity to which his assessment or opinion is directed. These people are quite common on the Internet, often expressing their point of view in a very rude way (they resort to destructive criticism).
Not an expert, but one of my friends or relatives. Someone from the environment who does not understand this specialty, but wants to help. They, as a rule, do not try to humiliate or offend, but they can often be offended and even misinform.
A specialist, not a close person. Mostly these are colleagues or just people who are knowledgeable in this area. From them you can hear both useful advice based on experience and personal knowledge, and criticism that carries a negative message (the desire to show superiority).
A specialist and a close person. Someone from friends or family who is knowledgeable in an activity or profession. More often than not, this type of criticism is helpful and good because they mean well. But it is also worth noting that this type can “soften corners”, sometimes not expressing a very important part, so as not to offend a loved one.

The importance of responding correctly to criticism

You need to take criticism correctly. An incorrect reaction can lead to altercations, conflicts, and other consequences. Especially when it comes to correct judgments, for example, comments from elders about a too noisy group of teenagers sitting on the playground to drink alcohol late at night.

The correct attitude towards criticism is based on:

introspection . “Is the totality of judgments adequate to the facts?” If yes, then you need to take them calmly;
rationality of judgments . “Even if there is no judgment, I am sure that some ridiculous remark will not unsettle me.” I know myself better than anyone;
analysis of the critic . “If a person is a critic, then he cannot live without assessing those around him and looking for flaws. I won’t let him feed on my energy.” Sometimes ignoring or turning everything into a joke, for example, is the best solution.

We do not encourage readers to encourage criticism or turn a blind eye to it. We call for rationality and objectivity. Painful, aggressive criticism, judgments caused by anger or rage deserve a reaction. But not angry. That is why it is extremely important when faced with them: to analyze yourself; reason rationally; analyze the critic.

The importance of the correct reaction is due to the already indicated probability of consequences.

How do you most often respond to criticism?

I am objective in accepting comments and first analyze myself to decide whether the critic is right.

28.57%

I think rationally in any situation. It seems to me that not a single remark, even the most caustic one, can unsettle me.

14.29%

I prefer to analyze and evaluate the critic in response.

28.57%

I prefer to ignore criticism or pretend that I don't care about opinions.

28.57%

Voted: 7

How to perceive criticism and respond to it correctly?

You need to accept criticism if the critic:

follows the “golden rule”, that is, is objective and friendly;
adheres to other rules and principles such as argumentation, logic, while putting pressure on me and not pressing me, not reproaching me;
strives to give useful advice, making a comment, wants to get a positive result, to guide.

You should not make value judgments if:

they are just a tool of manipulation. Example: “You cannot gain our respect until you do this, until you become like this. Or can't you?";
The critic's goal is to humiliate the individual. No one has the right to humiliate someone else's dignity. The reaction to such judgments must be adequate to reality. Remember the “golden rule” and other principles. This is the only way you can give a worthy rebuff.

Reactions to criticism: examples

Here are 10 examples of how people of different personalities and personality types can respond to criticism:

Justification . “I am not what they think I am!”; “I’m smarter than you say, because I completed the course...” These are examples. Justification is essentially bad, because the critic sees that the person is not even defending himself, but is looking for reasons for justification, that is, in fact, he has accepted the judgment, but does not want to show it.
Counterattack . “That’s how I am!”; “That’s what I hear!” Depending on the context of the situation, a counterattack can lead to either a positive or negative outcome.
Adoption . "You didn't do your job well." Answer: “Yes, that’s true, I’ll improve.” You need to make a judgment if it is objective and corresponds to reality.
Please clarify the point . “I don’t agree, could you give reasons for your position?”; “This statement means nothing!” It works when a specific judgment has no basis.
Rejection . "It's a bullshit"; “You are completely wrong.” Works in combination with a request for clarification of the essence.
Avoiding an answer, refusing to demonstrate a reaction . This is ignoring. It works if the critic is a passive amateur. There will be no example: here it is enough to remain silent or move the topic of conversation in another direction.
A counterattack to put an unjust critic in his place. “You are talking about something in which you yourself managed to distinguish yourself”; “Your judgments are subjective and baseless.” These are just examples, but even the most aggressive critic can be pacified.
Operating with facts . With the help of facts you can refute any judgment. The method works in case of reasoned rejection. Example: “You are wrong, because “fact No. 1”, “fact No. 2”, I do not consider your arguments rational.”
Search for alternatives . This is not about alternatives in the truest sense. Example: “Instead of criticizing me, look after yourself.” This is a special case of a counterattack.
Humor and jokes . Examples: “You hit where it hurts, you scoundrel!”; “Everyone has known this for a long time, yes, that’s who I am!”

The best option is to translate aggression into humor. This is for the case when the criticism is not benevolent and reasoned, but comes from an aggressor, an evil person. Sarcasm and humor will help defuse the situation, but not always. There are other ways of reacting, depending on the individual.

External assessments can be very helpful

Often we do not strive to ask others about themselves, and in vain. After all, it is often external assessment that helps us see those things that need to be improved in activity or behavior. There is always a certain “blind spot” in a person’s perception of himself. He may not be aware of many things, even if he wants to.

For example, if someone is learning to play the guitar, he might ask his tutor or other people who listened to his performance: “What can I improve in my performance?”, “Was the introduction harmonious?” and so on. So we can safely say that in many cases criticism is actually more useful than compliments.

What is the use of criticism?

Criticism can be harmful, but sometimes it is useful. It can be destructive and negative, but sometimes it is constructive and benevolent. We will talk about the latter case, because there can be no benefit from harm.

So, criticism based on the “golden rule” and the previously mentioned principles can become the basis for:

introspection . “Is the man right?” If yes, find the reasons within yourself and work through them;
self-development and self-improvement . “He talks about real flaws, I will work on them”;
working through problematic situations . “I can not only work on self-development, but also listen to objective opinions in order to prevent the repetition of unpleasant events in the future.”

Is there any benefit from criticism or is it evil?

There is definitely a benefit. Especially when it comes to the opinion of a person competent in a particular field.

14.29%

By definition, there can be no benefit in criticism. Why offend or try to prick a person or belittle the quality of some thing? If you don't like it, keep quiet.

14.29%

Can not say. Probably, everything depends on the case and the type of judgments, on the manner of their presentation.

71.43%

Voted: 7

Mixed type

It is worth emphasizing that there is also mixed criticism - it combines both constructive and destructive. As a rule, it contains really useful argumentation, expressed in a softer or more crude form, but supported by some kind of misinformation. Mixed criticism is most common in everyday life. Basically, these are not detailed official reviews, but simple, philistine ones.

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FAQ

The following are answers to questions frequently asked by people interested in the topic of criticism.

Who shouldn't be criticized?

You shouldn't criticize people who work hard. Also, you should not criticize people who have achieved success in something. We also urge readers to refrain from making critical judgments about vulnerable and sensitive people. In the first case, first of all, it is worth thinking about why a person devotes himself to work. It is likely that he has reasons: lack of money, an attempt to forget himself, sincere passion for his work. In the second case, criticism will only talk about envy. Instead of criticizing successful people, you should try to achieve something on your own, to conquer some heights. The third is about a situation when a person needs more support, help, but not assessments. They can drive it deeper into themselves and sharpen sensitivity.

Who can you criticize?

A striking example of the appropriateness of judgments is the comments of real professionals. If, say, a manager gives you advice at work, does it softly and tactfully notes what learning them can bring, you should listen. Another example to understand is advice from a friend, significant other, or other person that is not based on something negative. Try to distinguish well-wishers from ill-wishers. This will make it easier to “filter” criticism.

Why is criticism dangerous?

The danger of criticism comes down to the fact that as a result, the likelihood of offending the person subjected to value judgments becomes quite high. If we are talking about strong friendships or warm connections, they can spoil the relationship. Especially if they are subjective. We recommend that you refer to the section “Rules for using criticism”. Knowing them will allow you not only not to offend people, but also to separate valuable advice from subjective judgments on the part of others.

Where does the habit of criticizing come from?

Psychologists note that often the habit of criticizing is a psychological defense. This instrument is developed by people who have previously been subjected to unfounded value judgments, who have suffered from this, and even experienced depression. For them, criticism is a tool for preventing attacks and critical statements from others.

What are people called who criticize everything?

These are critics. If a critic is also a perfectionist, things are bad. Often this combination leads to people becoming toxic and starting to look for something bad, flaws, cons in everything and everyone.

Definition

To begin with, it is necessary to define what is meant by this term. Criticism is an analysis, evaluation and judgment about the phenomena of any area of human activity. But not all judgments people make about someone’s activities are constructive comments. It often happens that some people pass off insults or personal grievances as criticism or try to show their superiority over their opponent. Of course, all this cannot be called criticism in its pure form. In this case we are talking about a special type of external assessments. Namely, about destructive criticism, which exists in opposition to constructive criticism.

How to perceive ratings?

How can you make sure that they bring benefit and not harm?

First of all, you need to make a conclusion - constructive criticism or destructive (and maybe mixed).
If we are talking about mixed information, you first need to separate useful information from the emotional component and misinformation.
If the criticism is completely constructive (especially if it is from a specialist who knows his business), you need to look at the mistakes and draw the right conclusions. In other words, you need to compare everything that happened before with what is now, and with what may change.
Draw a conclusion and draw up a further action plan, a slightly modified algorithm, or make adjustments.

So, criticism is an integral and important part of our life. Without it, personal growth and development is impossible. If a person is not demanding enough of himself to listen to other people’s words, he will stand still and stop developing. Criticism is one of the important engines of progress, both personal and general.

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