What to do if you like a work colleague (male): the subtleties of a female pickup

At work we not only work, but also live. In fact, we spend a third of our lives with fellow workers. Sometimes this is even more than with relatives and friends. We can accurately predict how one of our colleagues will behave in a given situation. We see in advance how the guy sitting behind the transparent wall of the next office perks up when his work shift ends. We know who called the employee from the friendly department, since she so hastily ran out into the corridor to talk. We regularly meet with one of our colleagues at the cooler, since we are used to drinking tea at about the same time. We are having lunch with someone in the same cafe and have already studied all his gastronomic preferences. And one fine day we realize that we are worried that a colleague has not shown up at the cafe for a week. Or we catch ourselves thinking that we too often run to the cooler or to the machine office in the hope of meeting a colleague we like in the corridor. It becomes obvious that you like your work colleague. What do you like about it - you just fell in love with this man! What to do in such a situation, how to behave with a workmate who suddenly began to mean so much to you? We invite you to discuss this topic and find out what psychologists advise to do in the described situation.

Rules and tips

Most modern girls are accustomed to solving problems on their own. Even in matters of love, many of them take the initiative into their own hands. The following tips will help active ladies learn how to seduce a male colleague.

5 rules to win the heart of your chosen one:

1. Be a mystery to him. A man is a hunter by nature, so there is no need to reveal his soul immediately after the first meetings. Let him pursue you.
2. You should not tell your close colleague about your feelings, because she may also be partial to the object of your attention. It’s even worse if this news spreads throughout the company and, rest assured, this information will reach his ears before others. But you haven’t even received a hint of a date yet.
3. Decided to take the initiative into your own hands and be the first to propose a meeting? Remember, you shouldn’t be too straightforward and act openly, immediately taking him to a movie theater or restaurant. Most men try to avoid excessive female activity. In this case, it is appropriate to invite him to a festival or exhibition that is interesting to both of you.
4. If after the event he, in principle, does not mind continuing the evening, offer to drink a cup of coffee at your home, and then act according to the situation.
5. Try to behave with restraint, making it clear that, first of all, he attracts you as a person. As if inadvertently, hint about the possibility of striking up a closer relationship with him, but be sure to casually mention that your connection should remain a secret.

How to please a man? Practical recommendations

Firstly, the very formulation “how to please a man” is erroneous. If you formulate the question this way, it means you are putting yourself in the position that you need him more than he needs you. And this is bad, because in this case your importance will be lower.

Now let’s reformulate the goal correctly: you don’t need to try to please a man, but to become for him the kind of woman he dreams of being next to!

Do you feel the difference? You need to get out of the frame of being worthy of sympathy, and make sure that he himself tries to get your attention and your interest.

And now I will tell you how to do it.

1) Competition

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Many girls make the following mistake: when they like a guy, they are very afraid of scaring him off and hide from him the fact that a crowd of suitors is running after them, and this is a mistake.

Important! A man should see that you are popular with the opposite sex. Then your importance will be high. The same principle works in the opposite direction: if a girl sees that a lot of girls are hanging around a man, then his value increases and he seems more attractive to her.

Even if in reality no one is courting you (which is not very cool, change this situation), then at least create an image in the man’s head that you are successful with other men. This can be done in a variety of ways. For example, while communicating with a young man, you may casually express your misunderstanding: “What kind of men are they now, very strange. At work, someone leaves me a chocolate bar on my desk every day, and also writes a note with a compliment. I don’t understand why many men don’t talk about sympathy directly?”

And in the head of the man you need, an image is immediately formed that someone is courting you, which means you are in demand. This greatly increases your importance. But it’s better to pull off a similar trick with a story about a note with a person with whom you are not yet in a serious relationship. If you and a man are already building something serious, then it is better to refrain from telling such stories.

There is one important nuance in the topic of competition - a man must see that you are popular among other men, but at the same time you are inaccessible to them!

Because if you say: “But Vasya gave me flowers, I’ll go on a date with him tomorrow,” then your man will 100% send you and say: “So go on a date with your Vasya, and don’t come near me again.”

Your man must understand that Vasya wants to get you, but at the same time you are inaccessible to Vasily. Thus, your importance grows, but at the same time you have nothing to do with it, it’s Vasya who runs after you, and not you after him.

But competition alone, as you understand, will not be enough, so we are moving on to the second point.

I also recommend reading : How to get a man interested in psychological techniques (Opens in a new tab)

2) Position of abundance and evaluation frame

When communicating with a man, you can adhere to 2 positions:

1. Try to please
2. Assess a man

The first position puts you in a more dependent position, and the second - in a more advantageous one.

Remember , the one who chooses is always of greater importance. The one who is chosen is always of lower importance.

And this attitude must be built into you at the level of thinking. Never try to please a man! Always be evaluative. Evaluate his intelligence, outlook, behavior, his attitude towards you. And ask yourself more often, “Is he good enough for me?”

And this kind of thinking will have a positive effect on your communication. A man will see that you are not trying to please him or please him, and this will bother him (especially if he is a high-status man who is spoiled by female attention).

But to be appreciative, you must be in an abundance of choice and male attention. If your Vasya is the only guy in the village, then it is obvious that his importance to you will be enormous, and you will not be able to act effectively and reason soberly next to him.

Therefore, communicate with different men so that you can choose the most worthy among them. The more male attention you get, the better.

And believe me - men feel very well at the level of intuition that a girl is popular with the opposite sex. And the higher its popularity, the stronger the desire to get it.

I also recommend reading: How to become attractive to men? (Opens in a new tab)

3) Find common ground

We men like the girls most who share our worldview and values. On the Internet you can often hear the following phrase “Opposites attract,” but I don’t believe in it. Of course, you may be interested in a person who is your opposite, but it is unlikely that you will have a long-term relationship with him (although this is possible).

Girls, believe me, it is such an incredible feeling when you meet a person who thinks the same way as you. You immediately become interested in knowing a girl who shares your views.

How can you apply this information in your life? - Very simple! When communicating with a man, try to find similarities between you. And even if your views differ on something, under no circumstances argue with a man or try to prove him wrong. Instead, listen to the other person's point of view and try to see the situation through their eyes. Firstly, with this approach to communication your horizons will expand, and secondly, you will not cause irritation or rejection in a person.

I also recommend reading: How to check if a guy needs you? (Opens in a new tab)

But if you understand that your and his views differ very much on important and key issues for you, then just say goodbye to him and don’t waste your time on the person. But you shouldn’t argue in any case - this is an ineffective strategy for communicating with the opposite sex.

And yes, this does not mean that you should not have your own point of view, you should have it. You just should always respect a man’s worldview and not argue with him, proving that he is wrong.

4) Acknowledge his leadership

Girls, I want you to know the banal, but very effective truth about the devices of this world. The world in which we live is structured as follows:

A man is aroused by the woman who recognizes him as a leader.

If a man feels like a dominant next to a woman, then his libido skyrockets. This is how nature works. The same thing works in the opposite direction. A girl will be excited by a man who is stronger than her (both physically and mentally).

If male attractiveness is courage, determination and leadership, then female attractiveness is tenderness, softness and “weakness”. Why did I put the word “weakness” in quotes? Because men are not attracted to a “weak” girl in life (many people don’t like those), but to someone who is weak next to him. But in life, a girl should be confident in herself and know her worth. But when she sees her man, she immediately turns into a little girl who recognizes him as a leader.

This feeling of leadership that you experience next to a girl is beyond words. It is this feeling that many men get hooked on. Next to a girl who recognizes you as a dominant, you relax in a special way.

But there are several important points here!

• The first point is that you should not submit to a man under duress. You must do everything with pleasure and of your own free will. There is no need to break yourself, you yourself should enjoy playing the role of a follower, so give the leadership position to a man.

• The second point is that if a man behaves incorrectly towards you (insults, belittles, etc.), then in no case should you dance to his tune. In this case, you should, on the contrary, distance yourself, express your dissatisfaction, and if words don’t work, then turn on the coldness and ignore so that the man understands his mistake. You are a sweet and gentle girl only when he behaves well with you.

But now let’s talk to you about how you should never behave with a man.

Recommendations for the modest

There is another category of girls who are afraid of being rejected and do not take any action to attract attention.

5 tips on how to please a male colleague who is shy:

1. Going on a business trip together is a great way to build close relationships. You can help yourself if you have good connections with the HR department, or make an improvement proposal to management. This is a wonderful opportunity and it is important not to miss it.
2. Carefully find out what the guy is interested in and where he spends his free time. You can, for example, “accidentally” end up with him in the same fitness club where he usually trains. Don't worry if the plan doesn't work, but you will definitely get a great figure. The more you can find out about his life, the greater the chances of “unexpected meetings.”
3. Becoming a friend on social networks is nothing wrong with that. It's just communication with a colleague. He will be happy to include you in his list of friends.
4. Try to find out which ladies are his type. But you shouldn’t suddenly become a blonde or a brunette, go on a sudden diet and wear outfits with a deep neckline. The main thing is to understand what such terms as a well-groomed and pretty girl mean to him.
5. Get started with your career. Men love successful girls who don't stand still. You can take additional courses in your specialty, get a second higher education, or improve your foreign language. This will add advantages to you, as he will see an interesting developing personality.

Everything is going according to plan, or what steps to take to win the heart of a colleague

In order to hasten the start of an office romance, we recommend following the following plan:

1. Let's find out what the colleague you like is like (his marital status, hobbies, habits). Based on the results of our reconnaissance activities, we decide whether it is suitable for you. We don’t work clumsily, direct questions are rude. We listen to his conversations and conversations about him, study profiles on social networks, visit the same cafes, fitness clubs and other establishments where he goes. Gradually a weighty dossier will be built up.
2. We determine how your chosen one treats you. We have already talked about how to understand whether a colleague likes you.
3. If the sympathy is mutual, we signal to our lover that we care about him.
4. If your colleague does not show signs of falling in love with you, we proceed to winning his heart (instructions are given below).
5. If the art of female pickup turned out to be too complicated, and the chosen one remained indifferent, we do everything possible to stop loving the cold colleague and gain spiritual harmony, and with it new love.

Let's go through the last points of our plan in more detail.

Is it possible to make a younger colleague fall in love?

You are crazy about your new young employee and don't know if he will reciprocate. But as popular wisdom says, all ages are submissive to love. How to make a colleague fall in love with you in this case? The main thing is not to lose your “brand” and follow the recommendations:

1. look good (follow your appearance, fashion trends);
2. find out the range of his interests;
3. constantly learn new things (be on the same wavelength with him);
4. become the life of the party;
5. don't forget about flirting.

Difficult, but possible

Flirting is something that not everyone can do. A man who wants to diversify his relationship with a colleague in this way must demonstrate his confidence and charisma to her. The best way to attract a lady's attention is to show yourself as a person with a great sense of humor. Work moments probably involve a lot of interaction. All of them can be used to your advantage. And, probably, the lady will soon feel attracted to her colleague.

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Sometimes this happens almost immediately, sometimes it takes time - you should not give up if there is no immediate result. If she feels interested and opens up to a new format of relationship, you can begin subtle flirting. But be careful!

Any chance with management?

Not only a young girl, but also a fully grown woman can decide to win the boss’s heart. Even if you like him as a person and shows interest in you, you should know that such men are most often rational people who try to avoid nonsense and unnecessary problems.

In your imagination, you should not rush to draw passionate kisses, hugs, declarations of love and openly flirt with him. In this case, apart from conversations, discussions and gossip behind one’s back, it is unlikely that anything worthwhile can be achieved. But if you are firmly convinced of mutual feelings, behave wisely. Do not advertise your relationship with your boss at work; meet him outside the walls of the institution.

Falling in love with your boss is not prohibited, but flaunting your relationship with him is extremely undesirable, so as not to play on the envy or contempt of your colleagues.

I want to win my husband again - advice from experienced wives

If you feel that your husband has begun to move away or is no longer as attentive to you as before, then try to make him fall in love with you again. To do this, you need to remember where it all began. When your spouse started having feelings for you, things weren't like they are now. Surely, you spent more time together, intimacy happened more often, and you yourself were not concerned with many everyday issues.

After being married for some time, many husbands stop paying attention to their spouses because they consider them practically “read books.” You can change this.

1.

New hobbies. Your husband needs to see a new side of you. Do something you've dreamed of doing before, but thought you didn't have time for. If you wish, you can find a few hours a week for dance classes, painting lessons or something like that. Even if you have never aspired to any hobbies, it's time to expand your horizons and learn something new. Your husband will see in you not just a woman who is busy with work, home and family, but also a person who strives for some kind of development.

2.

Appearance. If you haven't already, throw away your stretchy lounge pants and worn-out T-shirt. Now there is a huge selection of comfortable and beautiful home clothes and underwear in which you will look attractive.

3.

Pastime. If on weekends you preferred to do household chores, just sit at the computer or visit relatives, then try to change the established tradition. How did you like to spend time with your chosen one? Where did you go on dates?

4.

Intimacy. Do not deny your husband sex and take the initiative yourself. If you are too tired for this, then it makes sense to discuss the problem with your husband. You may need to change jobs or share some household responsibilities. If you have chronic fatigue, consult a doctor - it is possible that you have health problems.

Prospects for an office romance

There is an opinion that you can’t expect anything good from an office romance. Of course, there are disadvantages. But in fact, there is nothing terrible or reprehensible here if it develops within the bounds of decency. And in the context of the general desire of young people to make a career, this is one of the completely acceptable options to find love and improve their personal life. After all, when people get a job, they do not cease to be a man and a woman. Therefore, it makes no sense to give up happiness, but do not forget about workdays and corporate ethics.

What to do if you are not beautiful

Some girls are very skeptical about their appearance, considering themselves ugly. What to do if you are also one of them?

Correct deficiencies.

If you clearly know what exactly, in your opinion, makes you unattractive, then think about whether these shortcomings can be eliminated. An unattractive smile can be corrected with a visit to the dentist, skin problems can be solved by a dermatologist, excess weight can be eliminated with the help of proper nutrition and exercise.

Perhaps you believe that you have shortcomings that cannot be eliminated - too short or tall, a large nose, small eyes, bow legs, or something like that. In this case, you should choose clothes or makeup that will not draw attention to flaws.

Maximum charm.

Many public figures, despite any flaws in appearance, are the idols of millions of people - their charisma and charm are so great that all possible defects in appearance seem simply insignificant. Usually, fans may not even realize that their idol is far from handsome.

Charm can be developed. Read books, go to interesting places, play sports, expand your horizons. To avoid any problems with pronunciation, practice your diction (you can also work with a teacher). Don’t withdraw into yourself, be a cheerful, sympathetic and enthusiastic girl, and fans will not keep you waiting.

Grooming is always in fashion

. Don't forget about this too. Healthy teeth, hair, nails, a good figure - this is already the lion's part of female beauty, and, with a certain amount of perseverance, you can achieve this. Visit beauty salons, choose the most flattering outfits for yourself, and experiment with your looks.

How to understand that a male colleague is in love with you?

To figure out whether your chosen one really has mutual feelings, observe the behavior of your beloved male colleague when you are in a non-work environment. You should count on a romance if:

1. the manner of communication has changed dramatically, he becomes stupider and begins to tell “flat” jokes;
2. tries to catch your gaze;
3. in private he looks away shyly;
4. the man becomes absent-minded, sometimes fussy;
5. smiles widely, involuntarily tilting his head to the side;
6. tries to casually touch.

Who wants what?

One of the basic rules of attracting a woman is to make her feel desire. Only if she feels that her colleague is interesting to her will she allow advances on his part. It happens that work partners love and respect each other - first of all, as individuals, without any gender conditioning. This has nothing to do with flirting or romance. A woman who sees her partner only as a colleague is unlikely to be interested in his sexuality, and therefore will not support flirting. It is necessary to “dot the i’s” before starting the main actions, otherwise awkwardness and problems cannot be avoided.

How to seduce a colleague at a corporate party

This kind of event helps many men get a girl from work. Most often, there is alcohol at corporate events. With its help, a guy can gain courage. A girl who has had a little drink will be more talkative. To seduce you need:

• Look at the girl. When she catches a few glances, then you should approach the lady. Sometimes at such moments women smile.
• Start an interesting conversation. During it, it is important to find out about her hobbies. Perhaps she will start talking about guys from work who are also trying to seduce her. In this case, a man needs to show his best side and stand out from others. You can even read poetry for a woman. The lady will appreciate such an act.
• Talk playfully. For a girl, everything that happens should look like a game. In some cases, you can even tell dirty jokes.
• Give something unexpected. A small gift (a flower, a chocolate bar, an unusual pen or a cute calendar) will help stir up emotions and make you pay attention. And it will cost you virtually nothing.

When the girl starts complimenting, the guy should invite her to go to his house. However, nothing can be said directly. A man may offer to read poetry or show him some collection. You need to navigate based on the girl’s interests.

Everything should be in moderation

Compliments are good and pleasant when there are not too many of them. Excessively intrusive praise can be regarded as insulting. In order for the interlocutor to believe in the sincerity of the speaker, all phrases are pronounced with a light and pleasant smile.

At work, any person is obliged to create an image of easy communication - this also applies to flirting situations. If a man is sarcastic and criticizes everyone, but suddenly starts praising one colleague, she may sense something is wrong and decide that this is a new form of ridicule. To avoid conflict, you need to maintain a carefree appearance and give out compliments as if it means nothing.

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Compliments: do they work or not?

Flirting at work is not easy, because you can find yourself in an awkward situation and even risk your career. Usually in bars and clubs, to attract the attention of a representative of the fair half, it is enough to be sincere, sexy, direct. At work, it is necessary to adhere to stricter limits.

A positive, cheerful atmosphere and a general feeling of ease in dialogue should be created. At the same time, separate signals should be given to the woman to understand that she is sexually interested in you. You could, say, compliment how white her coffee cup is and how well it demonstrates the owner's taste. One might comment on the perfect order of her desk and say that it inspires her to work with renewed vigor, while the speaker's desk looks more like a city after a storm.

General rules

First of all, a person needs to understand what will happen in case of separation. If a man has doubts about the correctness of starting a relationship, then seduction should be abandoned, as the woman will begin to speak negatively about the guy. This is due to the fact that ladies take separation too close to their hearts. If a man leaves a girl, then in her eyes he will be an egoist and a womanizer. In a situation where a lady has left a guy, she will think that her companion is too weak. That is why a person must understand what the consequences may be, since not every guy will be able to withstand the pressure from his environment at work.

Cases when seduction is possible

A man doesn't always have to give up on his co-worker. First, he needs to figure out when it’s okay to seduce. Conditions under which a guy needs to decide on a future relationship:

• The girl is not a competitor. A guy must understand that having an affair with a rival is very difficult. Sometimes it can cost your career.
• A woman earns less than a man.
• The guy has willpower. It is needed so that after separation a man can walk with a good mood and his head held high. Since there will be a lot of negativity towards him.
• Dismissal. On this occasion, a lot of people want to fool around and have fun.

If a person does not care about outside opinions, then he can begin seduction. Several people may be caring for a colleague. However, this problem is insignificant.

She is ready: what to do?

If there is no doubt that a woman is interested, you need to let her know how attractive she is. The simplest and most understandable language in this case is bodily. A smile will come to the rescue.

Subtle, sexy, inviting, she is a powerful tool for a man who wants to attract a representative of the fair sex. It allows you to feel confident when communicating.

It is necessary to maintain eye contact during a conversation. It is important that the smile is calm and the tone of the conversation is confident. A man can think about how much a woman likes him, feel the confidence that comes from this, and use it to make his smile sexier. If the lady responds with a smile and maintains eye-to-eye contact, it is worth extending this contact for a few seconds.

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About mistakes

If a man looks worried while delivering his next compliment, this reduces the value of the phrase to nothing. Excessive seriousness also spoils the atmosphere. It is unlikely that a woman will want to flirt with such a man.

Some are afraid to talk to an attractive lady face to face and try to give compliments through messengers or email. This is a categorically erroneous format of communication. According to psychologists, the worst simply cannot be imagined. Firstly, a lady has many opportunities to misinterpret what she reads. Secondly, it is unlikely that it will be possible to provoke a feeling of attraction through mail.

Don't flirt with her via email.

Many guys make a fatal mistake. They try to flirt with female colleagues via email or instant messaging because they are afraid of personal contact.

This is the worst seduction option you can use, and there are two reasons for this:

1. It will be difficult for her to understand what exactly you mean.

If a woman can't see your body language and facial expressions or can't hear the tone of your voice, she should be able to guess how you acted, how you felt when you wrote that message.

If you text her something sexual and try to flirt with her, it can come across as teasing, offensive, and unprofessional.

Perhaps she is one of those women who is easily offended, or likes to create conflict out of the blue, so flirting in correspondence will create a lot of problems for you.

Personal communication only.

If you are afraid to show your interest and act on the sly, hiding behind the monitor, this will only cause anger and irritation in her.

Further flirting will be pointless.

2. You can't create a sense of attraction in an email.

That is, you won't excite her. Women are most attracted to a man when they interact with him in person.

Why? It is during communication that a woman can fully feel your confidence, evaluate your behavior and personality.

You can send her an emoticon or a cool sticker, it will interest her.

But if during personal communication she notices nervousness and doubts, she will immediately lose all interest in you.

She will understand that in fact you are a coward who is looking for a fool for quick sex.