How to understand that you love a person: we understand our feelings. Do you love a person or not: advice

Relationships bring both partners a whole storm of vivid emotions: a kind of madness, euphoria, passion, sexual attraction, tenderness, tenderness, regret, sadness. Habits, affection, compassion, and care arise, which are very difficult to distinguish from sincere love. When you feel sympathy or love, you are probably pursuing some goals, and when you fall in love, you are ready to sacrifice and give. Both specially developed methods and testing will allow you to understand that you truly and deeply love a person. If understanding your feelings on your own turns out to be a difficult task, you can contact me by signing up for my consultation, and I will help you systematize your thoughts, emotions, experiences and give answers to many questions.

How to understand the truth of your feelings

What is love? It can't just come out of nowhere. There is a phrase: “Falling in love at first sight”, this is not true. In fact, to understand whether you need a person, whether I love him, it’s not so easy to understand. Perhaps it’s just sympathy, or maybe it’s a feeling of falling in love; it will be possible to determine exactly after a certain time. My personal opinion is that you can understand the sincerity of your feelings only if you listen to your heart and soul... no matter how crazy it may sound.

When love is born

It takes a long time for deep feelings to form. Falling in love slowly flows into spiritual intimacy. Ardent passion and attraction may not develop into a serious relationship. There's nothing wrong with that. Most people living on the planet love only once in their lives, and if it is impossible to be together, they are content with short-lived affairs. For others, in general, such a concept as love remains unfamiliar.

It is impossible to determine exactly the moment when a feeling of love settled in you, but this does not happen earlier than after a year of close communication. Loved ones study the interests and goals of their other half, begin to show tenderness, become convinced of each other’s trust and reliability, and only then, if all the puzzles fit together, they remain faithful for life.

How to understand whether you love a person or is it affection

Very dire consequences can arise if we do not determine in time what is happening to us. Do we love a person, or are we still attached to him because of our habit. Over time, we get used to our partner. We begin to miss him, we remember ridiculous moments with each other, we remember his smell, the timbre of his voice, his wishes before going to bed. Underneath all this, we may not be able to grasp what feeling really overcame us: love or infatuation.

The danger is that if you marry such a person, you are taking a very big risk. You risk dooming yourself to an unhappy life, and all because over time you will begin to misunderstand each other, you will begin to be more and more disappointed in your partner. The problem will be your attachment, because attachment very thinly borders on such an understanding as dependence. Agree, addiction already sounds alarming. For us, a person really becomes like a drug. And we need constant nourishment of his presence in our lives. It looks unhealthy. If you understand your true feelings in time, you can make the right decision. And avoid the bitterness of fate.

Attachment is dangerous because it is difficult to distinguish it from love. It is expressed in support, care, compassion and empathy for the person for whom we have feelings. Unfortunately, when we fall in love, we are guided not by our sincere desires, but most often by fears of losing our object of adoration. If a girl is attached to a guy, all her actions will be tense, she will be more withdrawn, holding back her emotions and trying to please her partner in everything. And all this will happen because of the fear of losing a loved one.

And now the question. During real love and sincere feelings, is it worth pretending? Is there a reason to hide your emotions, desires, control your every step..? NO... Love is a sincere feeling in which you are ready to share your emotions, every piece of your life with him for free. You don't even think about what you will get in response. You are glad that you show him your attention and see your boyfriend’s sincere smile and his loving eyes in response.

Love, first of all, is sincerity and relaxation towards the person for whom you have feelings. You can check your feelings for your chosen one by answering just one question, but you need to answer honestly. You shouldn't lie to yourself. What exactly makes you have feelings for him? If this is affection, then these will be values ​​that represent wealth, status, everything that is not related to love:

• Material values.
• A sense of responsibility for your partner. Responsibility is implied not as a girl's boyfriend or vice versa, but as a “parent” - “child”.
• Loneliness. One of our biggest fears as women. We are afraid to remain unwanted, and then we are afraid to get used to another partner.
• Comfort zone. We get used to our partner, the environment, our attitude towards ourselves. And we are not ready to change all this.
• Feeling of gratitude. We believe that we are obliged to a person and try to answer him in kind.
• Guilt. Often we believe that the guy helped us get out of our apathy, not noticing how we ended up in a new one, only with addiction.

When it's love, you don't care about his well-being, don't care about his social status and where he lives. Love is a selfless feeling that provides the opportunity to drown in your feelings for your partner while being next to him.

What to do if you don't like each other anymore

Falling in love flares up quickly, like a match, and love develops in small steps and only grows every day. However, she leaves using the same method. It is impossible to stop loving a person in one day. Passion, attraction, and then emotions gradually disappear. But even if there is a strong resentment, it will not be possible to stop loving or ignore thoughts about your soul mate.

Personality develops throughout life, during which its hobbies and worldviews change. This causes misunderstandings and leads to separation. You can alternately accept heightened emotions, their decline, periods of happiness and disagreement. However, if the relationship does not bring satisfaction, as in the first months, you need to talk with your chosen one, and do not be afraid to be sincere. Perhaps he has not been in love for a long time, but does not want to take responsibility for breaking the union. Don't delay - dislike breeds disrespect and loss of interest. This is hardly a short-term disorder and it makes sense to experience each new crisis again. It is better to let each other go, look at your shortcomings and find your true happiness.

How to understand that your loved one loves you

After all, only mutual love can be happy, and everyone wants to be sure that their sympathy does not go unanswered. And even when, it seems, your relationship is developing quite normally, sometimes doubts about reciprocal feelings continue to gnaw at your soul. After all, you want to be sure that they love you, and not just spend time with you or, even worse, use your love for some unknown purposes of their own. So is there any way to really understand your partner's feelings?

Infatuation and love. So similar and so different

Even if you suddenly notice that your partner is beginning to grow cold towards you. You should not rush to accuse him of deceiving you. The fact is that it is quite possible that what you took for love on his part was just a short-term infatuation with falling in love. And at the same time, he himself could be quite sure that he really loves you. But some time passed, the first sensations dulled, and this feeling gradually faded away. Yes, unfortunately, this happens quite often. However, this can happen to you too. This is why it is so important to distinguish between these two feelings, which are so similar at the first stage, in order to really understand that you are loved. What is the difference between them?

If you notice that your partner is trying to idealize you and endow you with all sorts of virtues that you may not possess, then you should be wary. This is certainly pleasant, but this is not love, but just falling in love. And then, when the first veil falls from your eyes, your partner may be very disappointed, sad as it may be. Therefore, don’t try to seem better than you really are; you still won’t be able to deceive yourself and others for long.

But true love, it does not come as quickly as falling in love, but at the same time you can be sure that the person evaluates you quite soberly, well understanding all your shortcomings, along with your merits, and accepting you at the same time. This feeling may not seem as joyful and easy to you as falling in love, but you can be 100 percent confident in your partner, as well as in the fact that they will not suddenly leave you when circumstances change.

Does your partner care about you?

Perhaps this is the best way to be sure of your partner’s love. How to understand that you are loved? Yes, very simple. A loving partner will care about how you feel, whether you are cold, whether you had time to have lunch. He will try to present you with pleasant surprises and not only on your Birthday or New Year, but just like that, so that your mood is lifted. And even if it is just a small plush bunny, this gift will contain all the love and tenderness that your partner feels for you.

Does your partner share his thoughts and desires with you?

Another great indicator that you're loved isn't your partner asking you what you want, although that certainly does that too. But a much more important sign is that he initiates you into his dreams, plans and desires. If you are allowed into your worries and worries, then this is an obvious sign that your partner completely trusts you, and, therefore, you can not doubt his sincere feelings.

Signs of love

To understand whether you love a person or not, just analyze your behavior. Actions, words and reactions to the actions of the chosen one will indicate the true meaning of the relationship.

Unselfishness

If you are looking for benefits, thirst for help, want financial supplies, demand high deeds from your companion - there can be no talk of any sincere sympathy. But if you are ready to give without expecting to receive something in return, this indicates the presence of a high feeling. At the same time, it is important to maintain respect for yourself and not allow your favor to be taken advantage of.

Sexual attraction

This is the most controversial sign. Some psychologists argue that a platonic connection arises between people, which does not involve physical contact. You want to feel, see, hear your other half, and not just satisfy “animal instincts”. On the other hand, attraction and love are closely interconnected - this is correct and natural. Lovers should want to touch each other, feel passion and excitement. If this is not the case, it is unlikely that the relationship will last through banal conversations over a cup of tea.

Unconditional acceptance

Accepting a partner with all his shortcomings, learning to appreciate his good and bad sides - this is what it means to surrender to love. If you intend to remake your beloved, to impose on him principles, albeit correct, but unusual, there is selfishness and misunderstanding in you, which is excluded with high feelings.

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Confidence

One of the main signs of deep and serious intentions. If you are not afraid to tell your loved one your joys or sorrows, you always provide support, do not hide anything, you can completely trust - this speaks of harmony and mutual understanding. If you want to hide part of your life from a young man, you are unlikely to take him seriously.

Constancy

The true warmth of relationships is not influenced by the external environment, conversations of loved ones and advice from friends. If someone is against your chosen one, you will stubbornly defend his interests. Your feelings can turn in the opposite direction after betrayal or lies. But it happens that some may be offended, jealous, but at the same time continue to love as before.

Sacrifice

This concept implies taking pleasure in looking at the happiness of a loved one. Let something not go according to your plan or even to the detriment of your financial and moral state. If your partner is happy, you should feel proud and satisfied.

What feelings should alert you?

What signs of love can mislead you?

There are also rather dubious signs of love. They need to be treated with caution and assessed in the context of your other feelings and events that happen in life:

1. The best thing that happened to you during the day was meeting your partner. We can talk about love only if, in general, everything in your life is very good, and meeting a partner is a pleasant bonus. If he is your only outlet, then believe me, this is not love.
2. You have begun to think very seriously about your partner's needs. This is great if you don’t sacrifice yourself or destroy yourself. Giving yourself completely to a person without reserve, leaving nothing for yourself, is the path to the abyss. A loving person, by the way, will never accept such sacrifices.

If you are an adult and sensible person, then you will definitely analyze your feelings. Understand first of all that this is your life, and you should not give its moments to someone who is not destined for you.

Nonverbal signs in girls

Signs of love in women are completely different. As you know, female logic is the absence of any logic, therefore the signs of her love can sometimes be very contradictory, but clear. These signs in women appear as follows:

• playing with eyes;
• attracting attention;
• excessive care and guardianship;
• modesty and shyness;
• glow from within or extreme absent-mindedness;
• showing attention to the affairs of your man;
• increased attention to your appearance and wardrobe;
• mysterious behavior;
• smoothness and femininity of movements;
• manifestation of sexuality.

How to understand whether you love or not: signs of sympathy

Signs of sympathy can be different

Falling in love is a very similar feeling to love. Finding the difference between these feelings is very difficult. It’s not for nothing that there is so much debate among scientists. On the Internet you can find a huge number of books and publications on this topic. I read some and picked out a few simple signs of attraction rather than love. Focusing on them, you will be able to determine for yourself whether you love the one who is next to you now or not.

You think your partner is different from everyone else

Yes, you may be dating an interesting person. This person is most likely an object of admiration not only for you, but also for a wider audience. This does not mean at all that love has settled in your heart. You fell in love, you were enchanted. But imagine if all this “scum” of popularity disappeared from him in an instant. Would you be as excited?

You admire more than just his appearance

You are interested in his achievements, thoughts, plans. I also watch some bloggers because I am interested in them as people, but not because I have love for them. Think about what exactly attracts you to this person. If this is not a desire to be like him, but sincere feelings, then your relationship has very great potential.

Do you sincerely want this person to be happy?

We should wish happiness to everyone - even our enemies. I think that you would definitely want your family to be happy. If you, at your core, are not such a person, and your partner is an exception to the rule, there is a high probability that you are in love.

With this person you are ready to try something that you have not done before

Congratulations! A faithful friend and a good friend is next to you. Perhaps he is your soulmate. It’s just not a fact that you are in love. This can only be verified by time and the trials of fate.

If you now have such feelings in a relationship, this suggests that with a high degree of probability love can happen, but everything will depend only on your personal qualities, behavior and turns of fate. Just don't rush to conclusions.

Relationship with a man

For all ladies without exception, romance is important and mandatory. They need to hear, feel, see every day that they are loved and dear. Some representatives of the stronger sex consider this unnecessary. Why say once again: “I love you,” if it’s already clear. Such men prove their intentions with their actions. While some sing serenades under the windows of their sick beloved, others, without warning, bring a bag of medicine. And it is not known which of these is better.

Therefore, those in love, sensitive and romantic natures should not forget that some partners find it extremely difficult to show touching emotions. There is no need to pester them with questions and complaints about lack of attention. It's better to hear a sincere "I want to be with you" about something than empty compliments every few minutes.

What can true love be confused with?

Until now, not a single sage or scientist has been able to accurately, briefly and clearly define what love is. If you ask this question to different people, it turns out that everyone has their own concept of love. However, both thinkers and psychologists agree that love is not. Unconscious people mistake the feelings and emotions listed below for love. But in fact, these are just different forms of expression of selfishness, psychological trauma, internal conflicts and problems.

Falling in love can have a calming effect on the body and mind, and also helps restore the nervous system and improve the memory of the lover.

So, what can love be easily confused with:

• Passion . We begin to experience an irresistible craving for a person, a strong physical attraction. Many people begin to feel like they are head over heels in love. In fact, passion is a consequence of sexual attraction, or simply put, it is ordinary lust. Blinded by our desires, we begin to endow a person with non-existent qualities and are disappointed when we later discover that the object of passion is far from our fantasies.
• Sympathy . It arises against the background of physical and psychological attractiveness. We often experience this feeling towards people in whom we see friends who are close to us in spirit and worldview. Sympathy often develops into true love, but still it is not love in itself.
• Falling in love . Quite strong emotional feelings that mix passion, sympathy, and attraction. Falling in love gives real euphoria, but can make you suffer a lot if the feelings are not mutual. In fact, such strong and vivid experiences are caused by hormones that begin to be actively produced in a state of love. But, as a rule, such a chemical reaction in the body lasts only a few months. When it stabilizes, people’s “rose-colored glasses come off” and we begin to notice things we haven’t seen in our partner before. At this stage, problems and disagreements may begin in the relationship. If people do not overcome the moment of crisis, it means that there was no trace of love there. Just body chemistry.
• Addiction . If one of the partners begins to feel that he can no longer live without his “other half,” there are psychological problems. Dependence is experienced by psychologically immature people or individuals with serious psychological trauma. Usually such injuries occur in virginity. For example, a mother does not teach her daughter independence, making her completely dependent on herself and justifying such manipulation with her love. Although in fact, behind everything is the mother’s fear of losing her daughter and being left alone. The situation is often observed in families where the mother raises the child alone. A person grows up who does not know what self-sufficiency is and is capable of building only a dependent model of relationships. She replaces dependence on her mother with dependence on a man, considering it love.
• Habit . It happens that people stay nearby for a long time (colleagues, classmates, neighbors, members of some club), and when one of them leaves the common area, strange feelings of melancholy, cravings, and worries come. It may seem to one or both that they have loved each other all this time, which is why they are so hard to bear separation. But in fact, this is a common habit, perhaps built on sympathy. In such a situation, there is a chance that feelings will develop into true love.
• Jealousy . Many people think that if a partner is jealous, it means they love you. And this is how jealous people themselves justify their painful emotions. In fact, behind jealousy there are also psychological traumas and unawareness. A self-sufficient person, self-confident and self-loving, will never torment another with jealousy. People with low self-esteem, insecure, immature people who have fears inside them are jealous.

How can you understand that you love a person? To begin with, it is enough to make sure that you are not guided by the feelings and emotions listed above. The main thing is to be honest with yourself and not be afraid to admit to yourself what you are really experiencing. And to make sure that the feelings are true, let’s try to define true love.

Stages of formation

In order for truly adult and conscious feelings to form, several stages must pass. It is after overcoming them that you can determine when you love a person and when you are in yet another unsuccessful romance.

Love

Any relationship and true love begins with primary love and mutual attraction. At this stage, so-called “hormonal chemistry” occurs between people, characterized by the release of large amounts of dopamine, the hormone responsible for pleasure and joy. During this period, a man and a woman feel a strong attraction, try to spend every free minute together and, if separated for a short time, become immersed in some kind of anxiety.

Due to the increased production of endorphins and oxytocin, partners idealize each other, admire and sometimes endow each other with qualities that they do not actually possess. Love lasts no more than 2 years.

Satiation

After several years, hormone production stabilizes and the rose-colored glasses fall off from both the guy and his girlfriend. The lovers no longer feel such a strong need for each other, and the relationship becomes ordinary and familiar. It is at this stage that healthy egoism arises, since both partners begin to value their own comfort and soberly assess who is nearby.

If young people were connected only by physical attraction, their union will certainly fall apart. To move to the next level of achieving love, partners will have to learn to compromise and take into account the needs of the other person.

Disgust

The most difficult and ambiguous phase is the disgust phase. Many divorces occur at this time, when the level of irritation and anger reaches its peak. The positive qualities of a partner begin to literally disappear before our eyes and depreciate, so many people make attempts to adapt their loved one to themselves. Mutual claims and reproaches, disappointments and quarrels are the main manifestations of disgust.

Tests that must be overcome on the path to sincere love:

• complaints about appearance;
• searching for other sexual hobbies;
• disharmony in intimacy;
• financial difficulties;
• disagreements in raising children;
• perception of different life values.

Humility

After numerous conflicts, the couple begins to come to common points of contact, correctly evaluate each other and adequately analyze life's difficulties. Only those partners who know how to work on relationships can move to humility.

During this period, lovers develop tolerance and a sense of kinship. Now the couple has become even closer to love and complete mutual respect.

Service or respect

At this stage, people begin to value the union and show selflessness. Many problems are left behind and people realize that they have something to lose, so they try their best to maintain good relationships. At this time, a man and a woman reach emotional maturity, become faithful assistants and reliable support.

The lovers realize that they cannot change each other and actively adapt. The battlefield changes to the negotiating table and the spouses begin to forgive, accept, tolerate and respect.

Friendship

At the stage of friendship, a platonic connection arises between partners. Spouses can completely trust each other, share their most intimate things and provide full moral support. A man and a woman try to get out of conflict situations peacefully, to do something pleasant and useful.

The period of friendship can last several years, and sometimes even a lifetime. It manifests itself most clearly when the children together have grown up and the partners have enough time for each other.

Love

The last, strongest and strongest stage is love. To achieve it, lovers will have to overcome many pitfalls, reasons for disagreement and crises. After many years of living together, partners literally grow together with each other, perfectly understand the feelings and desires of the other perfectly and enjoy communication.

It is at this stage that the connection becomes truly harmonious, bound by the bonds of true spiritual affection. A person no longer tries to understand whether I love my partner or not, since he is 100% confident in his own emotions. This period is the most holistic and calm.

Do all people know how to love?

Yes

25%

No

75%

Voted: 12

True love - how to understand it

It is hardly possible to say about love better than what is written in the Bible:

“Love is long-suffering, it is kind, love does not envy, love is not arrogant, is not proud, does not act rudely, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

The phrase “does not seek its own” means that true love is completely devoid of selfishness. But it is egoism that gives rise to a sense of ownership, a desire to possess, control, and try to change a person.

Let's find out what psychologists say about healthy, self-sufficient, true love. In their opinion, signs of true, real feelings of love are:

• Confidence . A person does not try to convict his partner of anything, does not look for reasons for quarrels, does not suspect him of cheating and lying.
• Friendship . A couple in which everything is based on sexual relationships and violent passions will never last long. Friendships always form between truly loving people. They freely share their secrets with each other, have conversations, are interested in all aspects of each other’s lives, consult with each other, and support each other.
• Full unconditional acceptance. A loving person accepts his other half as he is and does not try to change him. He will never put forward conditions for his love.
• Mutual desire to work on oneself. If you love truly, you will not try to change your partner, but will begin to work on yourself. Psychologically mature couples understand that relationships are not built on their own; sometimes they need to work on themselves in order to come to an agreement or compromise.
• Sacrifice . True love is always ready to sacrifice itself. This does not mean that a person should rush headlong under a train to prove his feelings. Here we are talking about the ability and willingness to sometimes give up one’s interests for the sake of a significant other.
• The desire to give, not to take. A loving person always strives to give the object of his adoration the best that he has. At the same time, he does not think about profit and does everything selflessly.
• Consistency . When you truly love a person, you do not lose interest in him over time. No one else will be able to influence these feelings.

It is not always easy to distinguish true feelings from false, selfish ones. How can you understand that you love a person, except by understanding the criteria of love?

A person who has a real feeling in his heart feels only positive emotions. Love is characterized by such manifestations as:

• Joy from every meeting.
• The desire to please a loved one.
• The desire to be better yourself, to change yourself for the better.
• Waiting for meetings, boredom.
• The ability to take into account not only your own, but also your partner’s interests.
• No offense or complaints if the feelings are not mutual.
• Calmness, comfort and peace next to your loved one.
• The desire to share your happiness with the whole world.
• The desire to do good.
• The desire to inspire a partner.

It is hardly possible to agree that you truly love if inside you there are such feelings as:

• Dissatisfaction with some character traits of the partner and a desire to change them.
• A sense of ownership, you believe that the person now belongs to you and does not have the right to complete freedom.
• Intense jealousy. You don't trust your significant other and are constantly suspicious of her.
• You are trying to manipulate your chosen one for your own benefit.
• You are tormented by mental pain and suffering.
• You have doubts about your choices or your future together.
• You are tormented by fears that your partner will leave you, betray you, and the like.

Interesting facts about love:

Fact 1

From a biological point of view, the desire to love is considered to be as primitive as eating food.

Fact 2

Romance does not last more than a year, since the brain is unable to remain in such a state for a long time.

Fact 3

During a breakup with your loved one, you need to exercise. At the same time, the level of dopamine will drop, the despair of separation will no longer depress you

Love, addiction or attraction

If you ask different people to define the word “love”, you will get different options. This includes your attitude towards your children, animals, food, country or partner. However, the most common definition will concern the emotional manifestation of feelings towards a person of the opposite sex. Many people are faced with a situation where they cannot decide and think about the phrase “I don’t understand whether I love you or not.” After all, we can confuse love with habit, and sometimes with addiction. This is starting to worry. But you can figure it out by knowing what characteristic manifestations of sympathy, love and infatuation exist. Let's look at the differences between the various qualities that are often mistaken for love.

1. Sympathy can persist for a long time, however, it mainly arises between friends. In such a situation, it is necessary to understand what the feelings for a particular chosen one were based on. Is there a willingness to provide support, help in difficult moments of another person’s life, are there common interests? If this is so, then, most likely, after some time the feeling of sympathy will develop into true love.
2. Sexual attraction. If you experience excitement when communicating with your partner, this is not an indication that you love him, most likely you need him to satisfy physiological needs.
3. A combination of interests and sexual attraction may indicate the presence of romantic love. This period is the most wonderful in a relationship, but is observed mainly among young couples.
4. Passion. When there is a serious relationship, it is not one of the leading signs. It is absurd to think that you love someone if passionate feelings flare up between you, because passion alone will not get you far.
5. Lovers, friends and like-minded people at the same time. It is believed that true love will not arise if there is no friendship between partners.
6. Addiction. It is important to avoid emotional sadism. If a person believes that someone must be with him, then this is a manifestation of false love, and not real feelings.
7. Jealousy. A jealous person is by nature an egoist who wants to dominate his partner.

Tips on how to determine if love is real

Some practical advice from psychologists will help you figure out whether your feelings are real or fake.

1. Remember how your relationship began. If very quickly and with physical intimacy, then love is clearly in question. Compare whether your relationship has improved or worsened since then. If they have become better, perhaps passion is developing into true feelings.
2. Analyze what attracts you to a person. To do this, it is better to take a piece of paper and a pen and write down all the qualities. If it turns out that the list contains more qualities such as appearance, good manners and other attributes of upbringing, then perhaps you are passionate about the “wrapper”. A loving person is attracted by the essence of the chosen one; even his disadvantages seem sweet and attractive.
3. Think about how stable your feelings are. If after every argument you are quite ready to go on a date with another person and allow the beginning of a new relationship, you are not truly in love.
4. How lonely do you feel without your significant other? Do you know how to have a good time without him/her? If yes, then your feelings are self-sufficient, otherwise it is addiction.
5. If there are traits in your partner that you don’t like, are you ready to put up with them and never blame the person for this? If you still hope that he/she will change, this is not love.
6. Imagine your couple in different situations, in poverty and wealth. Will you also love your chosen one if your social status changes? Maybe you are simply attracted to a person’s success?
7. Do you have something that you can and want to give to your other half? If you view your partner as an object for solving your problems and needs, there is no smell of love here.
8. Imagine in your mind a situation where you need to let go of your lover for his/her good. Can you do this in peace and without offense, with good wishes? If not, then you do not truly love the person, but are indulging your ego.

These are the most effective methods on how to understand that you really love a person.

Osho (sage, mystic, enlightened master) said: “Love has nothing to do with relationships, love is a state.” And it seems he was right. Only the one who, regardless of the relationship, feels love in his heart every day is truly capable of love. He sees love in life itself, in every manifestation of it, in everything that surrounds him. He finds love within himself, and has a strong desire to share it with everyone he meets along the way. Nothing can take away this love or extinguish it.

Interesting to know!

A brain that loves and a brain that is simply lustful are two different things. Erotic photos activate the hypothalamus (which controls hunger and thirst) and the amygdala (which controls arousal). Love activates areas of the brain that contain high amounts of dopamine, which is associated with euphoria, attraction and drug addiction.

The main criterion of true feeling is unconditionality. But in relationships we are often so unconscious that we begin to put forward various conditions, such as: I will love you only if you love me; if I love you, then you must adapt to me; if you love me, you will change for me.

All this is nothing more than a manifestation of the ego and attempts to fill internal needs or solve internal problems with the help of another person. This is psychological immaturity.

The best way to understand that you love a person is to think whether you can maintain bright, kind and better feelings, even if your chosen one does not accept them. If yes, then you can be congratulated - you are among the enlightened, highly conscious people who have revealed their true essence.

Attachment in relationships

Attachment in relationships is characterized by instability and dependence. One or both partners are characterized by full, comprehensive participation in common interests. There is a feeling that no one matters to them anymore. A person evaluates the strength of the need for a partner as proof of love. In fact, attachment in relationships can be a consequence of fear of loneliness. The attachment figure's old friends and interests are put on hold to serve the needs and desires of the "loved" person, so the feeling of self-sacrifice is perceived as a sign of love.

Preoccupation with the thoughts, behavior, and feelings of a “loved” person leads to dependence on his or her approval. The self-perception and self-esteem of a dependent partner reflects the reaction of the “beloved” person. Expressing real emotions and thoughts becomes too risky

Therefore, playing it safe is important and can take the form of repetition or even ritual. For example, a statement such as “if you don’t call me from work from nine to three every day, then you don’t really love me” is not uncommon.

With addiction comes intolerance for the time a couple spends apart from each other. Ownership, jealousy and patronage prevail over trust. A dependent person cannot tolerate being apart, even when there is conflict in the relationship or when the relationship is unhealthy. Experiencing unhealthy attachment in a relationship, a dependent person, at the slightest possibility of separation, clings tightly to his “other half”, feeling hopeless. Being apart can provoke physical symptoms such as impatience, lethargy or loss of appetite.

True love is difficult to part with; giving up attachment is easy.

The surest way to know if you are experiencing true love is to lose it. When she disappears from your life, you lose all meaning of existence for some time. It's like you've been stripped of your very soul. Sadness and grief presses from all sides. But if you don’t experience something similar after a breakup, then it was an ordinary attachment that did not carry anything serious.

Love is a manifestation of caring, and affection is exceptional selfishness.

True love does not tolerate selfishness. Once you enter into a serious relationship, your priorities will change dramatically. The whole philosophy of life is turned upside down. You will constantly think about your beloved, care and worry about him. But when you are no more than simply attached to your partner, then selfishness will prevail. Everyone wants to do what is best for themselves. It's easy to notice and draw conclusions before things go too far.

Love is not a light burden; affection comes easily only when you are together.

Love is a very complex type of emotion that occurs to every person. Often, it is very dynamic and it is extremely difficult for two people to maintain such a pace. There will be ups and downs in a relationship, but supporting each other will help you overcome all difficulties. During a non-serious relationship, when everything comes down to affection, you will not be able to get along for long at a distance.

Love gives freedom, but attachment paralyzes.

It is impossible to experience real feelings when you forbid each other to do certain things. Sincere love has no prohibitions. Mutual trust and bright feelings will overwhelm lovers, and therefore they have no problems with personal space. Ordinary attachment, on the contrary, paralyzes. Participants in a relationship cannot stay far from each other for long, and life without rules does not seem possible. This lack of love is a prison.

Love is support; attachment creates stagnation.

True love inspires people to be better people. But attachment does nothing: partners simply exist. Loving hearts can share their dreams, help each other achieve certain goals, etc. They form a kind of driving mechanism that only strengthens their feelings. Attachment people are locked in a little box and they don't want to be better.

Love lasts; affection is limited by time.

Love is one of those feelings that lasts forever. We are talking about a real and sincere manifestation of this bright feeling. There is no place for naked desire to satisfy your needs. Attachment has this. Therefore, it lasts as long as the partners are satisfied. But sooner or later the thirst will appear again, and they will begin to look for new experiences. And new partners.

Psychologists' opinions on feelings of love and affection

There are many stereotypes in society. For example, from childhood, girls are instilled with the idea that a man should seek her hand and heart, like a fairy-tale knight. And many guys expect unquestioning obedience from girls in relationships - for the stronger sex this is often proof of love.

How to understand that a person really loves you? Psychologists say that all people are different, and the manifestation of feelings is purely individual. A notorious egoist and a compassionate altruist with experience cannot love equally. Character traits leave a serious imprint on manifestations of affection.

So how can you tell if a particular person loves you? Psychologists recommend paying attention to the following points in your partner’s behavior:

1. Plans are being made for the future with your participation. Simply sympathy does not give reasons to think about trips, weddings and children. If they regularly make it clear to you that they are looking forward to a future together, then the person is clearly serious. This is love, right?
2. Attention and care are shown not only in words. How to understand that you are not being deceived, but truly loved? When a person constantly inquires about your affairs and health, it seems that he is thereby showing serious feelings. Is it really? Of course, everyone appreciates the attention. But is it complemented by real actions? If you are sick, then a loving person will not only ask about your well-being, but will also come with medicine even at one in the morning and cook you chicken broth.
3. Respect and loyalty are common signs of love. If they love you, they not only try to get attention at any cost, but also show respect. Your opinion is valued and taken into account, not insulted and sometimes tolerated. Loyalty is an integral part of deep feeling. Otherwise, why do you need love at all, when you can switch to someone else at any moment?

Each person has his own idea of ​​love. How do you understand that someone has fallen in love with you? Pay attention to your actions and caring attitude, and listen to your heart. The superficial tinsel of compliments, gifts and loud words is a wrapper. Your job is to discern the essence of a person and his true intentions.

Why and for what they love

Many people have probably heard the phrase that they love not for something, but in spite of everything. In fact, scientists have identified a number of criteria that influence the emergence of certain feelings, including love. First of all, a person pays attention to the external features of a partner: facial features, smell, body type, etc. It is very important that the physiology of the other half is pleasant to you and in harmony with your own. In this case, the union will be more harmonious and successful, and love will manifest itself much faster.

After meeting, the emergence of love is influenced by a person’s behavior, his negative and positive habits, way of life and lifestyle. So, some value kindness and responsiveness in a person, some prefer calmness and lightness, while others idolize a sense of humor and eccentricity. The way a partner behaves in everyday life at any time can stir up certain triggers, childhood traumas and memories.

Most people prefer to choose independent, strong and free individuals as life partners. Such people know how to express their own opinions, say “no” and clearly follow their own principles.

Advice from psychologists

Experts generally do not advise asking the question whether a particular person loves you or not. Such thoughts are quite understandable, as long as they don’t drag on too long. Sometimes, especially at a young age, we begin to become fixated on one person and look for signs of reciprocity in his every step. Feelings for him gradually turn into mania, and this is already a disease.

If this is your first time asking such a question, then there is nothing wrong with it. After all, you probably feel interested in yourself and want to know the depth of feelings directed in your direction. But, if you have been watching your dream object for a long time, day after day, looking for signals of love, stop. This is a wake-up call that could mean the following:

1. You have low self-esteem. You work yourself up and fall in love with any more or less attractive person, immediately looking for return. You really want to be someone's love, although first of all you should love yourself.
2. Your life is boring. Your brain is tired of everyday life and craves bright emotions. It is the subconscious that pushes you to search for a potential partner. Impatience makes you look for the answer to the question: “Does he/she love me?”
3. You are in a dysfunctional relationship. If you, being in a couple, are not sure about the feelings of your other half, then everything is clearly not going smoothly between you. Here you need to strengthen the relationship in order to get the long-awaited confidence, and not guess whether your partner still loves you or not.

You can't escape fate. Love will definitely find you when you don't even expect it. Press yourself less and enjoy life.

Differences

What is the difference between love and affection. Signs of both feelings are presented in the table. Compare them with your feelings, and it will be easier to understand yourself.

Several effective ways: how to find out whether you love a person or not

To identify ordinary interest, affection, sympathy or love, you need to analyze certain parameters. Several different techniques will help with this.

Method 1: Test

Answer a series of questions. Write down the number of “yes” and “no” answers on a piece of paper:

• Do you think about your chosen one before going to bed, do you want to wish him good night or hug him?
• Do you strive to do nice things for him every day?
• Do you feel comfortable and calm in his presence?
• When you think about him, butterflies begin to fly in your stomach, your cheeks become red, and your heart beats faster?
• Are you shifting from foot to foot, waiting for an evening meeting, and want the day to go faster?
• Do you think he is the best man you have ever met?
• You know his disadvantages, which sometimes confuse and even irritate him, but you continue to be his half?
• Are you worried about long separations, business trips, departures?

If you answered yes to most of the questions, most likely your feelings are sincere. However, keep in mind that the test must be carried out in complete calm, not after a quarrel. Give answers objectively, analyzing the entire period of communication.

Method 2: Pros and cons

Another common and yet truthful method to find out that you really love a person is to take a piece of paper and a pen. In two columns you need to write down all the pros and cons of the chosen one. What can you say about your loved one? Is he all faults other than good looks or kindness? Or maybe, on the contrary, his passion for computer games is overshadowed by care, attention, tenderness, and rationality. The predominance of “+” is another proof of your love.

Method 3: “He’s no longer there”

Imagine (just don’t get carried away or get hung up on such thoughts) that your chosen one is not there. You didn’t meet at all, he left, or you broke up. How comfortable will you be? Perhaps you will find the long-awaited freedom, you will be able to realize yourself, and do what you love. Or such thoughts bring you pain, discomfort, sadness. Usually, we only manage to understand how dear our significant other or thing is after we lose it. To quickly understand your emotions, you just need to imagine yourself without a companion. This will answer many questions.

Method 4. Meditation

Another method for determining whether you love a person or not is psychological visualization. To focus on your own breathing, you need to sit down on a soft, pleasant carpet or a comfortable chair, and eliminate anything that might distract or irritate you. Having completely calmed down and relaxed in an atmosphere of silence, think about your lover. Do you want to hug him, hold him close, kiss him? Pay attention to your feelings that arise when the image of your companion appears. If at the moment of peace you feel disgust or a desire to leave, it is better not to delay this in reality.

Sources:

• https://Plachu.net/pro-lyubov/kak-ponyat-chto-lyubish-cheloveka
• https://www.astromeridian.ru/psy/tebja_ljubjat_ponastojashhemu.html
• https://dnevnyk-uspeha.com/otnosheniya/kak-ponjat-ljubish-ili-net.html
• https://net-nevroza.ru/nastojashhaja-ljubov-kak-ee-otlichit-ot-drugih-chuvstv/
• https://LoveTrue.ru/sovety/kak-ponyat-chto-v-tebya-deystvitelno-vlyubilis-raskryvaem-taynye-priznaki-glubokogo-chuvstva.html
• https://damienmilay.com/basis/kak-ponyat-chto-ty-dejstvitelno-lyubish-cheloveka-sposoby-kotorye-pomogut-opredelit/

Introspection

It helps to find the answer to the question of how to understand your emotions and feelings by analyzing your inner world. To do this, you need to look inside yourself and look for answers to the questions that interest you. You should understand what place you occupy in this life, whether you are satisfied with the current situation, and what you would like to change. This should be a serious conversation with your own self. You should answer questions honestly and sincerely, because if you deceive, you will only make things worse for yourself.

Only after fully understanding your own feelings can you try to understand how you feel about another person.