Psychologists unanimously assure: the best way out of any situation is a frank conversation about your feelings. And yet, many of us find it difficult to decide to be sincere in our relationships with our partners. Oddly enough, the more we value a man, the more difficult it is for us to confess our love to him.
Firstly, we still have social stereotypes that in a couple a man should take the initiative in everything, and a woman should wait passively and seem indifferent.
Secondly, we are afraid of hurting our ego. “By confessing our feelings, we risk being mentally exposed, showing our vulnerability in front of a loved one, and the fear of this is a very powerful experience,” explains clinical psychologist Alisa Galatz .
Well, thirdly, we are simply afraid of losing our loved one, and with him the relationship (or the illusion of it) that we had. “For example, some people prefer not to clarify anything with their partner, afraid to find out how he really feels about them,” the specialist notes.
At the same time, mature, full-fledged relationships are impossible without openness, emphasizes psychologist and coach Alena August . “The adult position is to openly discuss what is happening, what suits or does not suit whom. This is better than worrying on the sly and inventing something that may not exist,” says the expert.
In what situations is it better to express your feelings and how to do it? Let's take a closer look.
Should you be the first to show your feelings?
The advice of a psychologist will help you make the right choice. Practitioners are confident that recognition will bring relief to the girl, but this must be done in such a way as not to harm yourself and the young man:
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- Do not set conditions - recognition does not entail obligations on the part of the young man.
- Don't push - getting a response will be a bonus, but this is not the main condition.
- Prepare for a lack of reaction - then such a result will not upset you, and any answer will please you.
- Choose the moment - a rested man, not busy with business or hobbies, will perceive the words positively.
- Sometimes words are not needed - the response of gratitude and reciprocity is expressed by the young man through subsequent actions, hugs, and kisses. Not everyone is ready to talk out loud about the power of emotions.
Words of love come from the heart, therefore they are sincere and selfless. Remember this when deciding to take a step.
Hidden Confession
If you are afraid to openly tell your guy about your love for him, try starting from afar. When communicating with your lover, be sincerely interested in his life, give compliments more often, show concern, and also use nonverbal signals such as a smile and light touches.
You must show your interest in the man.
This way you can get closer to him faster or sort out your feelings if you are not yet sure whether it is love or not.
Secret signs
Signs that indicate your sympathy include a sincere smile, an attentive look, a desire to come as close to the man as possible and touch him during a conversation. Such actions relate to non-verbal body language and are perceived intuitively by the interlocutor, so you should not worry that the man will not notice your interest.
And most importantly, try to be near your chosen one more often, because if you are truly in love, then you yourself will want to spend as much time as possible with him.
This increases the chances that he will notice you and take the initiative. To avoid seeming annoying, just remain tactful and polite.
Compliment him
If your compliment sounds appropriate and truly pleasant, then a man will like it. It is believed that praise of appearance is more popular with the fair sex, but if a guy has a fashionable haircut or a stylish look, be sure to notice his efforts.
Such compliments will tell about your attentiveness. We certainly shouldn’t limit ourselves to praising his personal qualities and talents.
If you are already dating
Even if you are in a relationship, you should not forget about the signs of attention described above. Compliments, your smile and gentle touches will always be pleasant to a man.
In addition, it is important to be interested in everything related to your chosen one and try to show concern more often.
Another plus of a relationship is the opportunity to leave each other notes with cute inscriptions, give trinkets with romantic symbols, favorite treats and anything that can tell about feelings without words.
Tell your guy more often that he is dear to you, that you miss him when you have to break up, remind him of his qualities that attract you, etc.
Even though men don't often express their emotions in words, they still enjoy hearing from their partner that she values their relationship.
Ways to confess your love to a man
Think carefully about how you will do this. Choose a simple method so that the young person understands the message.
Hints and mysterious messages
An unsuccessful option for recognition, especially if there are several fans in your immediate circle. A man may misinterpret the signs and think that out of solidarity the woman is helping her friend get him. If you decide to hint, choose a frank method - seduction. After capturing attention, talk, but use soft expressions like “like”, “interesting”, “nice”.
Letter and other romantic options
Romance does not inspire, but surprises young people. Women, trying to fully express emotions, come up with long messages written by hand. Guys don’t read letters like this to the end, they get bored. If you decide to go with this option, choose a short note format with a signature. Do not put it on your desk because of the risk of loss; hand it in person when the young man is free or after an evening spent together.
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SMS and social networks
A convenient way of recognition, but do not expect a response after reading. The girl gets ready, comes up with a text and expects the reaction to follow instantly. A man tends to critically evaluate words, focusing on actions and behavior. If a response is received, it will be in a day or at a meeting. Remember that confession is a method of expressing emotions, so it is not obligatory.
How to behave if the feelings are not mutual
Before confessing, think about a possible refusal, about the lack of reciprocity. In this case:
- do not show negative emotions or aggression - if the young man’s answer is not thought through, accepting his decision can change his opinion to the opposite;
- do not impose, do not pursue - this will not achieve sympathy;
- Don’t cry—tears repel you and wash off your makeup.
How to say "I love you"
Modesty and shyness are not a reason to remain silent and not confess your love for years. This is rather stupid, because adults don’t behave like that. Some people, if it’s hard to say three words, simply write a note and hand it to the guy.
If a person loves with all his heart, then you can tell about it in some extraordinary way, for example, confess on a social network , send a bouquet of roses or give an unusual gift. Here are some tips on how to express your attitude in an original way:
- ask the host to read a radio confession;
- place an advertisement in the newspaper on the main page;
- write cherished words on the asphalt;
- lay out such an important word on the ground from lit candles.
The girl says a lot of interesting things, watch this video:
For some, it’s enough to simply say: “I love you”, for others you need to offer to live together, for others they perceive a declaration of love only with an engagement ring. So just find out what your partner likes best.
How and when is it better to confess your feelings to a married person?
If a man is married, think repeatedly whether falling in love is really worth destroying the family. Girls are more sensitive than men, so if successful, happiness may not come due to a guilt complex towards the ex-wife or children. In order to get some of the attention, the girl agrees to the role of a mistress, believing that she can seduce the young man gradually. This is a mistake that gets you into a long-term, committed relationship.
If you decide that a confession is necessary, do it carefully so as not to cause a scandal in the family. It often turns out that the husband is not ready to leave his wife, even if he has sympathy for a free woman.
You can honestly tell a guy about your feelings. Remember that it is not he who needs recognition, so it does not oblige the young man. But if a girl tells a man that she likes him, she will feel better after that.
Your couple status is unknown
Sometimes, especially at the beginning of a whirlwind romance, it is difficult for partners to understand what exactly connects them - sex or a serious relationship. “It’s possible that your man doesn’t even think about the status of your relationship, because he already feels good with you,” notes Alena August.
But if such uncertainty bothers you, then it makes sense to clarify the situation, emphasizing how important it is for your mental comfort. And before confessing, decide for yourself what exactly you want from a relationship, and whether you are ready to give up what you want if your partner has other plans for you. For example, will you become just a mistress if you dream of a family and children?
If you become a coward and remain in a “suspended” state, then over time your relationship may simply collapse. Instead of liveliness and brightness, tension, resentment, and discontent will appear.
How to cope with loss
If the feelings are definitely not mutual, give yourself time for sadness and emotions. It's time to buy that very expensive ice cream and turn on the melodrama, or gather your friends for a red dry drink.
Photo by Alex Green: Pexels
Live this moment, and don't try to pretend that you don't care.
When the ice cream or wine is gone, it's time to clean up. Find new hobbies, expand your social circles, go to school or go on a trip alone. Even non-reciprocal love is a huge source of energy that you need to spend on yourself, to become the best version of yourself.
Remember, they didn’t answer you not because you are bad, but because a better fate awaits you, for which you need to prepare yourself. Confessing your feelings yourself is a manifestation of great courage, which many girls can envy.
Actions are more important than words
As you can see, there are many conflicting reasons why representatives of the stronger sex do not want or are not ready to talk about love. It may take some time before your loved one tells you the cherished three words. Dont be upset. Yes, girls “love with their ears,” but for guys their deeds and actions are much more important. If a partner is there in difficult times, supports and cares, gives gifts - can you doubt his love?
Try to channel your doubts into a constructive direction: develop yourself, increase your self-esteem, work on your relationships. I provide effective tools for improving your life in the online course “Secrets of Women’s Happiness.” Here you will not only understand what behavior indicates the sincere love of men, but also learn how to maintain passion in them for many years.
Girls, how important do you think it is to talk to each other about love?
Why is it so hard to say “I love you”?
Girls, write in the comments when was the last time you heard words of love from your partner. Let's find out how often representatives of the stronger sex are ready to share their feelings!
How many misunderstandings and resentments there are in a couple because someone cannot admit their emotions! Girls are forced to determine the love of guys by indirect signs. Isn't it easier to say the cherished three words to your beloved?
It turns out that the reason lies in the peculiarities of male psychology. For a long time, men fulfilled the evolutionary role of hunter, warrior, and protector. To cope effectively with these tasks, they needed to learn to turn off their emotions. Emotionality was cultivated in women - they raised children, helped the weak and wounded. To do this, it is important to be able to empathize.
What is the result? Guys can't handle their feelings! They perceive any strong experiences - for example, the feeling of love for a girl - as stress and subconsciously block them. This does not mean that there is no love - it’s just that men get lost when they realize that they are hopelessly in love. To better understand male psychology, read the articles in the “Ideal love relationship” section.
What to do if recognition is not mutual
Decide in advance how you will behave in a situation where you are refused.
You shouldn’t at least outwardly become depressed, burst into tears, swear or blame the man. Your calm acceptance and gratitude for listening to him will more likely be the key to maintaining friendly relations, and it is more likely that he will someday change his attitude.
The first reaction is not always final; a man would rather think about everything later, in private, or discuss it with a close friend. Give him time.
After confessions, give freedom: persecution and imposition will only ruin everything. It's like playing chess. You made your move, now it's up to him. After all, building relationships is a path where two people move towards each other, rather than one catching up with the other.
How to explain the feelings of love for a person?
| Step number | Name | Content |
| 1 | Say "I love you" | The most popular and correct phrase when expressing love. It will help you express the strength of your feelings. |
| 2 | Tell the person how important he is to you | Tell your partner how he is changing your life for the better. How do you feel when you see him after a hard day at work? How it helps you solve problems and much more. |
| 3 | Ask your loved one for help | Asking for help will help show your sincerity and trust in the person. |
| 4 | Share your secrets with him | Often people don't tell their secrets to anyone. Therefore, this is an indicator that you trust him. |
How to explain feelings using messages?
Often the whole day depends on how the morning begins. And the awakened beloved man can be energized by the cheerful words of his woman.
- How will you save the world today, my hero?
- Your sun has already woken up and is sending you rays of love.
- May everything be the way you want today. If not, I'm ready to give you ammo.
- I always want to be the first to wish you good morning!
- I dream of repeating this night... ⠀
- You are very lucky: you have me.⠀
- I miss you already... ⠀
Where to confess
The choice of location is also of great importance, and this includes the setting. This helps a woman relax. Judging by the reviews, many girls achieved excellent results by saying tender words on the river bank or while walking along the lake or in the park. A confession sounds good in a movie theater between the words of loving screen characters or during dinner at a beautifully set table. A large gathering and a noisy evening will not be a hindrance; invite him to a white dance and whisper in his ear what he may have long dreamed of hearing.
It’s not superfluous to beautifully arrange an important moment. If your chosen one is a fan of delicious food, prepare his favorite dish, pour a glass of good wine and start delighting him with warm words.
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In cases where a couple lives under the same roof and has been sharing the same bed for a long time, you can say words of love in the morning, during the earliest and best sex of the day. Get up a little earlier, make coffee or prepare fresh orange juice, tidy yourself up and brush his nose with your curls, whisper the three most popular words in the world.
Experienced ladies share their skills and do not advise “pioneers” to confess to men at moments of particular busyness. It is unlikely that he will appreciate your words while watching an important football match or being in a bad mood.
Why do you need it
The main question you have to ask yourself is: what do you get from this recognition?
Photo by Anna Tarazevich: Pexels
The problem with almost all girls is that they only expect reciprocal recognition and a beautiful happy ending. For them, this is a way to get the man they are interested in, transfer responsibility to him and even oblige him to love in return. Of course, all these motives are often unconscious, and the girl feels like the heroine of “Eugene Onegin” by A. S. Pushkin.
Remember: if you even slightly think that it is he who needs recognition, you are mistaken. This is an additional responsibility for a person, the need to somehow change his life, even if he did not want it.
Therefore, the only reason that really exists is that you feel the need to speak out and dot all the i’s.
