The girl does not respond to messages

In correspondence with a girl, not everything always goes smoothly. At some point, she may begin not to respond to SMS, do it with a long delay, read it, but not send anything in response - all this is popularly called ignoring. The same applies to cases when a girl does not even read the first message when you try to meet her. I would like to know the reason for this?

Today we will look at the answers to the question why a girl doesn’t respond to messages (spoiler: this does not always mean that your relationship is doomed) and we will figure out what to do about it. Even if your messages have never been ignored, I advise you to read this article to be fully equipped for the future.

Things that make it clear that you are being ignored

It happens that a girl did not immediately see the message because she was at training or working, her phone was dead - but you never know the reasons! But this is not your story if there are these signs:

She read the message, but has not responded for over an hour.
She does not respond, but at the same time publishes entries; the website shows that she is online.
You write her another message, but this time it no longer appears as read.

Even if you encounter these signs, there is no reason to be discouraged until you understand the reason. Your further strategy of behavior will depend on it. And there can be many situations!

How not to make a mistake

If communication is not going well, you should not make mistakes:

remove a girl from friends;
write aggressive messages or threats;
blackmail or try to expose the chosen one in the absence of feelings;
write sad statuses or post confessions on her page.

When communicating with a girl, you cannot consider her the only one in the world. When the understanding appears that she is the same as the others, feelings for her will disappear.

Ignoring is a bad sign in communication between members of the opposite sex. Even if these are temporary difficulties, an unpleasant aftertaste will remain, so after establishing communication, discuss all the problems and ask your loved one not to do this again.

She's testing you so she decided to ignore you

There are provocateur girls who like to test a man. She wants to understand how interested you are in her and how you will behave. Usually, she chooses an insignificant excuse to ignore, which she will speak about only after resolving the situation.

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Reasons for silence

Silence in response to an SMS from a man can have several reasons:

The girl is not in the mood. Perhaps the young lady has encountered difficulties in her life, a period of PMS has set in, and fatigue has accumulated. You should wait a bit. After normalization of the state of mind, the answer will most likely come with a hint of an apology.
The interlocutor is busy with other things. It is always impossible to respond to an email instantly. The young lady probably has work, household chores, friends
The girl doesn't like your messages. If SMS messages contain obscene jokes, ambiguous hints, or rudeness, there is no need to ask why the girl does not respond to them. Young ladies are delicate and vulnerable natures. It is almost impossible to predict what could have offended or offended them.
The day before there was a quarrel between you. You can quarrel for any reason: rudeness, a bad joke, the wrong topic. The interlocutor is offended and wants to stop communicating.
The girl's relationship with her ex-boyfriend is not over. An ex-lover may be nearby and resist making new acquaintances.
The young lady is too shy and modest. She doesn't know how to respond to your invitations to meet, love declarations. In such situations, girls often turn to forums and friends for help, and the guy languishes with anticipation, remaining alone. This is normal for a young age.
The girl is married and is not at all interested in other young people. To avoid such situations, you need to ask about the woman’s marital status right away.

What to do if a girl doesn't respond to a message

There are many options for what to write if a girl doesn’t answer and how to behave. The main thing is not to let the situation take its course if you are interested in a girl, but at the same time not to be intrusive. You'll need to become a cold-blooded strategist to win her back:

Try sending another message from the examples below. If possible, it is better not to send SMS, but to call and chat to understand exactly what is happening.
If you realized that you offended the girl in some way, then simply apologize. Explain that there was a misunderstanding and you didn’t want to offend her.
Give her time. If he doesn’t respond in a day, try in a week; if necessary, wait a month. But don’t rely too much on SMS: a personal chance meeting will help establish communication faster.
If you corresponded on a social network and she disappeared, then try to contact her in other ways. Maybe she forgot her password, was blocked, lost her phone and has not yet restored all the applications. There can be a lot of reasons.
If a girl ignores you, try asking her to meet.

Why should girls ignore men?

If a girl ignores, then a completely logical question arises about the reasons for this behavior. Young people are logical and rational, so they want an explanation. There are many reasons justifying such manifestations.

Trying to get attention

When a girl demonstratively does not pay attention to obvious signs of sympathy, consider this as an attempt at manipulation. Women have mastered the technique of influencing a man's behavior for a long time, continuing to improve and hone new methods. One of them is to be offended and not communicate for no reason. Demanding an explanation in such a situation is useless, since this will force the woman to continue to behave in the same way. The significant difference lies in the lover’s reciprocal interest, hidden behind ostentatious indifference:

READ How to win a girl's heart: useful tips

She waits for the young man to start running after her, but she has no feelings.
The woman experiences the same sympathy, but either pauses or tries to hide her feelings.

To distinguish these options, take a closer look at your beloved’s gaze: in the first case, it is condescending or dismissive, in the second, it is sensual and interested. Trying to please and change the situation in the first option is pointless, but if the girl is not indifferent, then you can try to act more decisively. The young man decides whether to spend time playing along with his beloved or explain that closer communication is necessary to strengthen the relationship.

Showing resentment

The weaker sex is prone to mood swings, with emotions suddenly appearing at an unexpected moment. This may include resentment, the justification for which is not always clearly formulated.

If a girl deliberately ignores incoming messages for a long time, try to find out what she blames you for:

remember your words over the past week, including those expressed in the presence of her friends, because they could convey;
pay attention to whether your previous promises were fulfilled;
ask a direct question - ignoring often serves as a tool to hurt a man’s feelings, but the woman reads the messages, although she does not respond.

Having asked directly, it is better to stop writing and make it clear that you are expecting an answer. If you can’t achieve it because there is a block everywhere, organize a meeting with the help of friends. Talk to her and listen carefully to your chosen one. After explaining your guilt, further actions can be determined.

A way to get rid of a boyfriend

It is believed that ignoring a young man is possible in two cases - strong feelings or complete indifference. The latter occurs quite often, so before starting your next active courtship, check for yourself whether this option is excluded. If doubts remain, stop imposing and look at the reaction. When a girl starts calling or writing herself, it means she is showing mutual interest. If, after stopping attempts to make peace, it is not possible to achieve a result, separation will be the only option for the development of events, since there is no interest.

Desire to break up with your partner

Another reason for silence online is a breakup, which is difficult for a girl to start talking about. Half of your life passes on VKontakte, so refusing to communicate on the platform will make you think twice. Most likely, the woman hopes that the young man will either get very angry and suggest breaking off the relationship, or will follow her example and calmly refuse correspondence. It is advisable to completely stop communication so as not to look unhappy and avoid possible ridicule.

As a character trait

There is a type of woman who wants to communicate, but unintentionally begins to ignore the object of sympathy. The reasons for this behavior of a girl can be different:

afraid of appearing vulnerable;
considers this model of behavior correct;
loves to torture guys, testing their patience;
trying to live up to the image of a touchy-feely person.

Try to find out through a close friend what your beloved’s motives are, but this must be done delicately. Having found out the reason, write an SMS with an offer to meet in a cafe or park. Sometimes it is not possible to change the situation, because a woman is not ready to leave and forget her principles for the sake of a relationship. Then the only option for continuing the relationship will be to accept this feature of hers.

Stress or workload

A girl may avoid communication due to personal or work problems. For example, they met online, mutual interest arose, and the couple exchanged contacts. But after the first messages and compliments, the woman suddenly becomes silent.

Young people usually react negatively: they begin to write compulsively, speak aggressively, make threats, provoking a quarrel. But after two or three days of silence, the woman returns, talks about temporary difficulties and explains why she could not answer. However, after a reproach expressed by a young man, it is rarely possible to return warmth and understanding.

The objective reasons why a girl cannot write are:

business trip;
lack of time due to preparation for inspection, delivery of the project;
difficult period - treatment, hospitalization;
family problems - the arrival of relatives, their illness.

Sometimes ignoring does not happen on purpose, but becomes a coincidence, so you cannot immediately react negatively.

Doubt about feelings

The beginning of a relationship is always romantic, young people strive to spend all their time together, actively correspond, and share emotions. Over time, both get used to each other, communication changes. The girl may not like this and decide that love has passed. To reassess her feelings, she will need time during which she will avoid communication. To get the relationship back, the guy should be active - arrange a surprise, give flowers or organize an interesting date.

What not to do if a girl decides to remain silent

So, the girl reads the messages, but does not respond. You are in a panic: your pride is hurt and you have succumbed to emotions, so you begin to put pressure on her and immediately apply all the methods that you have learned about, but this cannot be done, just like these things:

Don’t write to her “Where did you go? Why are you ignoring me? Answer please!". The correspondence promises to be long, but one-sided, and after that you risk being blocked altogether.
Don’t be aggressive: “If you don’t answer, that’s fine! I didn’t really want to talk to you! I would just say that you’re not interested in me!” If a girl doesn’t write, then after such SMS she won’t want to answer at all.
Don’t threaten: “I’ll send you messages until you answer!” You shouldn’t write something like that: it won’t help you win favor.
Don’t proudly put a point: “If you’re interested in me, now write yourself.” He won’t write unless something is needed. Only your correct initiative can turn the situation around.
Don't call mutual friends or her parents. If a girl takes a long time to respond to messages, then she will be unpleasant that everyone around her will know about it. It's hard to get rid of guys who behave this way, so it's better not to let them into your life right away.
When she finally answers, treat it neutrally: without unnecessary joy and without dissatisfaction.

If a girl ignores you, then don’t be upset: there are reasons for everything. She may be hesitant to answer or be offended, but it is extremely rare that the reason for silence is that she is not interested in you. This may be the case if you don’t know each other, but if you’ve already communicated and she chooses to pointedly ignore you, then that means, at a minimum, she’s thinking about you. But if you understand that this is not so, then have pride and with dignity just leave the person who does not value you.

Acceptable Ignore and Alarm Signals

Okay, we must admit that each of us at least once responded to the interlocutor with short messages or did not write anything at all in response. There could be a million reasons for this, some of which I give in this article, but now the main thing is not “why”, but “what does it mean”. When should you perceive a temporary pause in a conversation as a natural element of it, and after which should you tense up?

In these cases, the girl’s ignoring does not mean anything and you can ignore it:

before that, she communicated with you lively and interestedly, answered in more than one word and showed interest in communication;
after being ignored, she explains where she was missing or at least returns the conversation to the same active direction;
this happens sporadically or rarely, mostly you communicate normally.

But when her lack of response indicates that she is not in the mood to continue your communication:

she ignores you most of the time, almost never showed interest in communication;
it lasts for a long time (more than a week);
She herself is an active and friendly person, but she is stingy with emotions towards you.

Those who recognized their situation in the first list can stop reading the article at this point. And if you get into the second one, the following blocks are for you.

Adviсe

Psychologists offer their own methods of rekindling a girl’s extinguished interest in a man. Be sure to use them if previous measures have not been successful.

Retaliatory Ignoring

The purpose of the method is to touch the girl to the quick. Perhaps she has no idea what a person experiences when he does not receive an answer to a message or question. The advice will be useful only if the cutie decided to test you and intrigue you with silence.

You need to do this:

Write a couple of friendly SMS greetings as if you were an ordinary friend.
Then be online regularly, but don’t write letters or visit your interlocutor’s page.
Wait a couple of days.
If a girl texts you, don't reply. It will be difficult, but you will have to be patient.
The message can be sent after 3-4 days, as if you were writing them reluctantly.
Return to the normal rhythm of communication gradually, refer to being busy, but constantly be online. Let your interlocutor think that you have other interests.

A response of ignoring will force the woman to become more active or provoke a separation. Any option will be productive: waiting for a girl who is not interested in you makes no sense. If there is a desire to communicate, then the lady will think about whether she needs to provoke her interlocutor to retaliate another time.

Swing

Another way to raise a “obstinate” lady is a psychological swing. It is based on keeping communication in good shape by activating and decreasing the intensity of correspondence. First, write often, respond quickly to SMS. Then disappear for a few days, be offline. If a lady calls, don't pick up. After two days, write as if nothing happened. A few experiments will wean the girl off from ignoring her.

If a short break in communication for educational purposes is painful for you, you can answer your interlocutor’s questions briefly and dryly. Only later will you have to come up with an excuse for your behavior.

Message templates

Now let’s figure out what to write to a girl if she doesn’t respond to messages for a long time, using specific examples. SMS templates will help you avoid doing something stupid. After reading them, the girl will not have the feeling that the guy is too intrusive. You can include in the test message several compliments and hints of a desire to meet.

Hello. We communicated so well recently. I remembered what you said about your love for (the author’s) paintings. There will be an exhibition of his works soon. I have two tickets. Will you join me?

Hello. Listen, I found a cool selection of music that you love on a friend’s wall. Post a link?

I recently talked with a friend, it turns out we have mutual acquaintances. Do you have any idea who I'm talking about?

My Instagram is kind of slow, I can send messages, but I don’t get a response. Is this the case with you too?

I don't want to bother you with text messages. But there is a feeling that something has gone wrong with us. I really want to continue our friendly communication, because we have a lot in common. By the way, I watched a cool movie today. I can share my impressions.

Maybe I offended you in some way, I'm sorry. I’m sure I can make amends) I really like you, so I worry, sometimes I’m stupid. Give me another chance.

Phone call

If you can't win a girl through correspondence, try calling her. You can get the phone number in instant messengers, sometimes it is listed in the profile on the website with contacts (Instagram, OK, VK). Be sure to think about what you will talk about in advance. Option “How are you?” Definitely not suitable for a call.

Invite on a date.
Tell us that you really wanted to hear her voice.
Congratulate you on your birthday or other holiday, if there is a reason.
Give a couple of compliments.

The first telephone conversation may be short. But it is advisable to agree on the possibility of calling back regularly.

If a girl hangs up or doesn't pick up the phone, don't bother her with calls. The lady makes it clear that there is no need to seek her favor. Perhaps she has another one.

It is not difficult to achieve mutually interesting communication via SMS if the interlocutors have the same views, opinions, and hobbies. Girls often ignore guys after the first or second attempt to make acquaintances, and then become more supportive. Don’t lose your desire to win the heart of the lady you like right away. Use our advice and everything will work out.

How can a man properly ignore a woman he likes?

It is important to understand that women usually use ignoring specifically for something; it has a specific goal that your interlocutor wants to achieve. So what are the options? Perhaps this is how a woman expresses resentment, wants revenge, or hopes to end your relationship. As soon as you fully understand why a woman behaves this way, something else will become clear to you - how to act in such a difficult matter.

However, do not rule out the possibility that this person is not only ignoring you. Some women get tired of problems or uncertainty in their personal lives, after which they decide to take some kind of break - that is, to distance themselves from any personal contacts with men. In this case, you should act delicately, show your chosen one that you are ready to wait and understand the reasons for her fears.

If we are talking about an adult woman, then it is possible that she is tired of any correspondence and “virtual love”. Try to transfer your courtship into real life, and act like that. The older a woman is, the less time she usually wants to spend on correspondence, which in many cases simply ends in nothing. Show your readiness for a real relationship.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Ask why you were boycotted

Ask yourself why the person ignoring you is doing this. Perhaps he ignores you on purpose, or perhaps unintentionally. Think back to the last time you communicated with him. Was he angry with you or hostile towards you? Did you say something offensive to him? If so, most likely he still hasn’t “cooled down” from what happened. On the other hand, if you had a great time last time, there is probably some external circumstance that caused the person to unintentionally ignore you. Perhaps he is busy preparing for an exam or has fallen in love with someone.
Ask a third party why you are being ignored. If a friend or colleague is ignoring you, ask a mutual friend or colleague if he knows what's wrong. He may be able to identify or explain to you why that person is avoiding you. Perhaps you made him angry without even realizing it, and instead of directly stating it, he decided to simply ignore you so as not to worsen the conflict. It is likely that a third party will be able to analyze the situation more objectively and help you figure out why you are being left out.
Directly ask the person who is ignoring you why they are doing it. Talk openly with the person who is avoiding you. Ask him to talk privately. In a quiet, secluded place, calmly ask: “Listen, I keep thinking, why are you ignoring me?” Provide evidence: for example, he did not return your calls or emails, or did not respond when you contacted him. Listen carefully to his explanations.
Know how manipulators behave. If a person ignores you the first time, there's probably a good reason for it. However, if your friend or coworker constantly ignores you or other people, he may be getting some kind of pleasure from what he is doing. He may alternately use silence to obtain an apology or concession for certain demands. Finally, he may ignore you so that you lose faith in yourself. You can hear from a manipulator: “If you really knew and loved me, you wouldn’t ask why I’m ignoring you.” All of the above examples point to a narcissistic personality that needs to be identified and not indulged.

Method 2 of 3: Back off

Judge the person who ignores you by his actions. Let's say you have an open conversation with him and he says he understands what you're getting at. He may have even apologized for his behavior. However, after that he started avoiding you again. In this case, you must understand that he was insincere, and is not really interested in maintaining a good relationship with you.
Accept the person's decision to cut off communication with you. Don't keep pressuring him to apologize for his behavior or calling him out on how his actions affected you (if you've already done so). Someone who constantly shows indifference towards you most likely gets pleasure from it. Don't play his games by trying to resolve the problem over and over again.
Don't blame yourself for his behavior. If someone constantly ignores you, even after you've tried to make peace with them, that's their choice. Don't worry about what you could have said or done differently so that the person will be considerate of you or your point of view.
Don't burn bridges. Let the friend or family member who is ignoring you know that you hope for reconciliation. Don't give up on your relationship with this person. Some people have personal problems that make it difficult to maintain healthy relationships. Let him know that you are there if he ever wants to talk to you or if he needs help.

Method 3 of 3: Resolve conflict with the person who is ignoring you

Look at the problem as a difference in communication styles. Let's say your friend or partner isn't ignoring you out of spite. Perhaps he is doing this simply to avoid worsening and spreading the conflict. He probably needs some privacy and wants to give you both time to cool down a bit after the conflict. When you understand that your partner views this silence differently, then later you will have a better chance of making peace and avoiding worsening the conflict.
Accept your feelings. Being ignored by someone you care about hurts. You're probably feeling frustrated, angry, and sad because you're being avoided. If you feel this way, don't pretend it's not true. Accepting your feelings is the first step to speaking up and letting the other person know that they are being cruel.
Have a structured conversation. Structured conversations are held at a specific time for a specific purpose and come with a specific set of rules that prohibit things like yelling and name-calling. In a structured conversation, both parties are willing to openly discuss the issue before them and have already rehearsed their main arguments. Offering a structured conversation can be helpful if someone is ignoring you because of a long-standing problem or set of problems that is preventing you from forming a deeper emotional connection.
Step outside your comfort zone. Try using a different communication style. If you are a hot-tempered person who constantly raises your voice, gets angry and gets worked up, try to better control your feelings in the heat of emotions. If you are a calm person who ignores others, withdraws when conflict arises, and tries to speak up or explain your point of view only after taking a few minutes to think about the answer, then bring more spontaneity and emotion into your conflict resolution behavior (but don’t get carried away by shouting and curse words).
Exchange apologies if necessary. If, during the course of the other person's explanation, you realize that you have hurt their feelings, you should say that you did not mean to and that you are sorry. However, make it clear that you, too, were hurt by being ignored. Forgive the person and express your hope that he can find the strength to forgive you too (if you feel you need to).
Sometimes it is difficult to understand why people are upset by our actions or words that seem harmless. If the person has a flimsy or unclear reason for ignoring you, it would still be a good idea to apologize.

She is not looking for new acquaintances

If a guy wrote to a girl online for the first time a month ago, and she didn’t respond, this indicates only one thing - she doesn’t want to get to know each other. The reasons for this are different. Maybe she already has a boyfriend, or she is not interested in the page of a new fan.

What should a guy do in such a situation? Try to write to her again after some time. Just not the same “Hello”, but something more original to stand out.

If there is no answer again, and the girl remains stubbornly silent, it is better to leave her alone. The following reasons are relevant for those who have already communicated with a representative of the fairer sex, but she suddenly stopped responding to messages.

Reasons provoking female ignorance

They can be different, as far as possible grounds for the emergence of such a radical solution are possible. But before despairing, it is necessary to properly analyze the situation itself. It is likely that clarifying the reasons will help choose a constructive model of behavior.

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Resentment and anger

In this state, ignoring is a natural and reasonable form of behavior. The girl closes herself in negativity and refuses to make contact. Resentment makes you avoid additional communication. There is no need to send thousands of SMS with confessions. They don't make sense. Being intrusive in this case is a bad way to try to restore a relationship. Trying to woo your chosen one through messages is unwise.

Until the offense completely passes, the person will not hear you.

Desire for revenge

Sometimes the chosen one suddenly stops responding. She can block any messages on social networks. Just suddenly everything changes irrevocably. The correspondence ends literally overnight. You have to use your imagination just to try to change her attitude. The intention to take revenge comes from resentment and the inability to change the situation. If a girl ignores him, this does not mean that she is not interested in the guy. Perhaps she is going to teach him a lesson and has come up with her own way of doing it.

Losing interest

In some cases, there really is a decline in mood and a reluctance to communicate anymore. When a girl suddenly began to ignore, perhaps she already had someone else. Remember that she has the right to delete online correspondence completely. She should not explain the apparent reasons for ending the interaction. Some ladies are looking for gentlemen, guided by certain principles: decent earnings, prospects for further career growth. Loss of interest can be due to any reason.

Personal animosity

If a friend categorically refuses to communicate, there is probably hatred going on. Perhaps she was offended by some harsh phrases or an outburst. If a lady suddenly blocked everything, it’s not without reason. In this case, there is no need to expect a positive answer. Most likely, you will have to deal with aggressive behavior and reluctance to make contact. Before making a final conclusion, it is useful to analyze your own feelings.

This will make it possible to understand the essence of what is happening. Breaking up on VKontakte is not a rare thing. The guy can write to someone else.

Don't come near me, I'm offended!3

Yes, silence is the surest way to “punish” a man for his wrongdoing. Many girls think so. She could be offended by an unpleasant phrase accidentally said, by the fact that the guy didn’t ask how she was doing, or forgot to write when he promised.

To understand what’s going on, the stronger sex needs to analyze the dialogues with the lady recently. You can re-read the correspondence more carefully. Maybe she began to respond more coldly after some phrase. It is important to try to understand what could have offended the girl.

If the reason for the offense is still unclear, you just need to ask her “head-on” what’s the matter. When a girl is really offended, she will react to such a question. The main thing is to be the first to take the initiative, even if her anger is far-fetched and groundless, and then gently smooth over the situation.

And to help guys, our next article is about why girls get offended and what to do about it?