What to do if a girl ignores you? Let's find out more

We've all had those moments in life when you're trying to find a common connection with a girl, and she starts to avoid or disappear altogether. And here the gears begin to work - we did something wrong, or the girl simply does not want to communicate. The natural message is that we want to find out what’s wrong. So is there a solution or not, and what to do, if it's a girl you ignores? Let's try to figure it out.

Why should girls ignore men?

So why does a girl ignore you ? There are both obvious and not so obvious reasons for this. Let's look at common options.

Trying to get attention

If a girl ignores you , then it is quite possible that she is interested in you and this is how she is trying to manipulate you in her attempts. Girls have long possessed “special” skills and sometimes it seems to them that deliberately ignoring a guy will bear fruit. They crave guys to chase them, even if the sympathy is not mutual on their part.

But by ignoring they also “protect themselves” from like , which indicates that they are either hiding their feelings for some reason or want to take a break (not rush).

How do you know which option is yours? Take a closer look at her. If she has sympathy for you, at least her gaze will give her away. No matter how much she ignores you, she will be interested in you. And then you choose to spend your strength and energy on it in order to destroy this barrier or not.

Showing resentment

If you are boycotted, it is quite possible that she is offended. This is one of the popular tools that girls . Analyze your actions, maybe you did something or vice versa - not? Did they say something? Perhaps you promised something and didn't deliver on it?

If a girl is in no hurry to remove you from her friends , then she is most likely waiting for you to write to her and if you don’t guess, then at least start asking questions. Just ask directly what’s wrong - she may not answer, but she reads the messages. You can use the help of friends, the main thing is to listen to her carefully (girls love it when they are listened to sincerely and diligently) and then build on her words with further actions.

A way to get rid of a boyfriend

It is possible that she is ignoring you because she is either bored with you or has become uninteresting. If you just met and after some time of communication the woman began to avoid you, I have bad news for you - she seems to be hinting that there will be no “continuation of the banquet” and wants to get rid of you. Sometimes, if a man stops calling/writing, the girl will understand that she wants to continue communication and will begin to actively remind herself of herself, but if this does not happen, leaving her will be the only right decision.

Desire to break up with your partner

A girl can also ignore a guy because it’s hard for her to talk about it, but she’s thinking about it and wants to break up. She may be hoping that you will be offended by this and you will want to end the relationship, or you will begin to ignore her in response, which will lead to the result she desires.

But in any case, it’s better to talk to each other, explain what’s wrong in the relationship, why she started ignoring you, but if she doesn’t make contact, try to stop communicating.

As a character trait

It also happens that a woman does not deliberately begin to ignore you, it’s just her “defensive reaction” and this is how her character manifests itself. The reasons are different: perhaps she is afraid of seeming vulnerable, therefore, when she is close to this line, she falls into ignorance. Or she might just be testing your patience. Or, as an option, she wants to seem more inaccessible so that you pursue her.

If you have the opportunity to find out through her friend or your mutual friends what her main motives for ignoring take advantage of the situation. Then you can invite her to take a walk or sit in a cafe and rehabilitate herself.

What to do when a woman acts cold?

Be clear. If you are concerned about the signals a woman is giving, make it clear. Tell me how you feel. Also, make your intentions clear. There are no guarantees that a woman will understand your hints, so be specific in your desires.
Understand the situation. After all, there can be many good reasons why a woman ignores. And many of these reasons have nothing to do with you. So don't assume that you are the reason for her emotional upheaval.
Give it time. Sometimes a girl just needs time to think about her feelings and desires. So don't put pressure on her or bother her. This is especially true if you have made it clear that you have feelings for her.
Be understanding. There is no need to be nervous or worry in this situation. Exaggerating the situation will only make it worse.

Stress or workload

Have you noticed that the girl used to communicate with you a lot, but now she began to avoid you? But the reason is not always the man; perhaps she has her own personal experiences or is in stressful situations and has “withdrawn into herself.”

Often guys start to push too hard with their attention, sometimes it backfires. After a couple of days, the girl comes to her senses, but during these days the guy with his negative behavior can ruin the further development of events.

There are various situations, for example, a business trip at work, when a person is really busy and does not have time to respond and communicate. And the partner feels like he is being “ignored.” But these are rather selfish feelings on his part.

If you are students, then simply studying is also the reason for “ignoring”.

Don’t forget that sometimes health can also fail, or sudden hospitalizations, etc. Try not to react immediately in a negative way, wait and most likely the girl will get in touch and explain herself.

Lack of consistency 4

Women notice any little things and details, and they especially notice the inconsistency of a man. If a man has such a flaw, then he will no longer be taken seriously. The woman will quickly lose interest in him and stop waiting.

And if you start to ignore, but don’t avoid relationships, then perhaps it gives you time and a chance to correct the situation: learn to manage time and plan things, don’t leave everything for later and don’t do it at the last minute.

Said and done, and not so that today is one thing, tomorrow is completely different.

A woman expects concreteness from a man in everything, in business, in relationships, in views and in resolving serious issues, and floridness and inconsistency only emphasize that the man is not mature.

How to behave if ignored

What to do if a girl ignores you? There are doubts in your head whether all this is necessary at all, but basically further actions depend on how close you are. Let's figure it out.

If it's a stranger

You start communicating, you were already on a date, and suddenly, the girl ignores you . Or responds with a delay. Considering that this is an unfamiliar girl, it is unlikely that she was offended by anything. Most likely, you failed to interest her and were able to make a positive first impression. You can continue to try to find something to surprise her, but if you see that she does not give in to anything, it is better to abandon vain attempts and think about another lady.

If a girl suddenly stops communicating on VK

When you send messages on VK and see that a girl does not respond for a long time, although she is online , you should think about it. Maybe she's bored. You should try to understand the reason, analyze whether it can be corrected and try to change the situation. Sometimes girls talk to guys who aren't really interesting to them. And you can try to change this attitude towards yourself. But if you see that a girl ends communication too abruptly, then most likely your chances are over.

If he doesn't answer calls

If a girl is offended , then not answering calls will be her favorite tool in manipulating you. Here you need to understand whether her offense is justified or whether she just wants to “test” your strength out of the blue.

Also, if you call her excessively, this can also become annoying, and the girl will not pick up the phone again. After all, she will under no circumstances ignore the object of her sighing, except for the moments when she really couldn’t answer (work, study and other circumstances). If she is interested in you, she will call you back, and if not, she is most likely indifferent to you.

After the first date

There are situations in life when views on the same thing do not coincide. And then there was your first date, but this does not mean that if everything was perfect for you, then it was perfect for her too. No. Perhaps she didn’t like something or was outraged by something and she begins to ignore you. If you had a good relationship before, don't be afraid to ask why.

You can even play along with her that something really went wrong, but you want to find out if your opinions coincide and correct it. The girl needs to relax a little and open up. And as soon as she tells you, do what she wants!

What not to do if a woman ignores you?

Don't be needy. If a girl suddenly stops texting or talking, there is no need to write message tones. This will make you seem desperate and needy. Instead, give it some time and see how things develop.
Do not be angry. Anger and anger worsen any chances of a successful continuation of the relationship. Instead, try to remain calm and move on to more important things.
There is no need to try to contact her through friends, acquaintances, or relatives. This will again show immaturity and make you seem needy.

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If ignored for no apparent reason

Even if it seems that the girl is ignoring you for no reason, immediately discard these thoughts.

There is always some reason (or even several) behind ignoring. It is better to take immediate action in this case and eradicate it in the bud. Find out directly, ask what happened. If she continues to freeze, wait a couple of days and let her get in touch. This way you will show that you are not a running boy, but a man who has character and will not run errands. Let her get in touch herself, tell her what happened and what she wants, in the end. Next is your exit.

If there is no obvious and objective reason for ignoring, then perhaps you become an object of her manipulation. Analyze everything and if this is the case, it’s time to stop everything right away and get out of this vicious circle.

It should be understood that the girl will not simply ignore you. Therefore, we find out the reasons, motives, objectively assess the situation and then take action. Is it worth the gamble or not?

PsychologyPRO

How to talk to her?

For some couples, discussing life situations is commonplace.
All quarrels and misunderstandings are resolved through dialogue. However, not all people are so open to sincere communication and it can be difficult to get a lady to talk. It is best to discuss the relationship in person, live. Although, all means are good here. Perhaps it would be better to express your thoughts in writing. The email option is much easier for modest people. Guys often lack the courage and eloquence to speak out in person or even over the phone.

Another advantage is that you have the opportunity to think carefully about every word and not forget something important.

Psychologists recommend building a dialogue tactfully:

do not raise your voice or wave your arms;
do not make unfounded accusations and do not make the girl to blame for all troubles;
do not interrupt when she speaks;
refrain from unnecessary negative emotions that can worsen relationships.

“You constantly blame me for everything!”, “You always do only what you want!”, “You don’t value me!” - All such phrases should be strictly avoided.

How does a counterdependent person differ from a self-sufficient person?

It may seem that some of the listed symptoms fit well into the normal behavior of a self-sufficient person. Yes, he maintains autonomy, does not give up his interests and affairs, does not allow himself to be controlled, does not dissolve in his partner and does not sacrifice his life for him. The question is, what's wrong with that?

But psychologists believe Signs of Counter‑Dependency that there are still differences between a self-sufficient person and a counter-dependent person:

A self-sufficient person calmly admits that, to one degree or another, he depends on other people, just as they depend on him. This balance is called interdependence and is considered a healthy form of relationships between people, a kind of symbiosis.
He does not experience anxiety or fear when he gets close to other people.
A self-sufficient person fully feels control over himself, his actions, his decisions, his life.
Such people are able to build deep, close relationships, are not afraid to be vulnerable, to trust another person.
They maintain relative independence not because they are afraid of something, but because they want to self-actualize and achieve something (build a career, get an education, run a marathon, learn a foreign language, and so on).

How to understand that a girl does not want to communicate?

You keep trying to earn another chance, to gain her sympathy, and in response you get a cold answer: “I’m busy!” Men have this trick: to achieve to the last. But sometimes it’s really worth backing down because you’re not an interesting person for this particular girl.

The girl avoids meeting you

She feeds you breakfast about your meeting and every time there are new reasons why everything should be rescheduled.

A woman can break out for 15 minutes to drink coffee, but no more. She is not interested in your affairs, and you yourself as a person.

You are the main initiator of communication

You offer to meet, you write and call first, you find out how her day went. And she doesn't even call back if she missed your call.

Try not to write or call her, you will see that for her you are an uninteresting character.

When meeting, the girl is mostly silent

When the opportunity arises and you do meet, the girl does not particularly participate in the conversation.

She doesn’t just listen to your chatter, but seems completely indifferent: she looks around, examines the objects on the table, and is glued to her phone.

What is the cause of counterdependence?

Julia Hill

Psychologist, member of the Professional Psychotherapeutic League, blogger.

If you look at the origins of this behavior, when a partner runs away as soon as the distance between you closes, then we are talking about attachment trauma.

This is a child who was not given enough love in childhood. Why didn't they deliver? Maybe the parents were too busy with themselves, sorting things out, working, were sick or liked to drink. There was no one to support, protect, or help survive unpleasant events. I got the impression that the world is dangerous and unpredictable and, worst of all, parents are also unpredictable people. This means intimacy is dangerous. This is such a childish, but very strong conclusion that leaves an imprint for the rest of your life and forms a behavior pattern.

Growing up, such a person wants warmth and love, but at the same time is afraid of them. Sometimes he cannot even explain why this is so and what is happening to him. This process is unconscious, and often it becomes somatized. For example, a person is going on a date, and then he gets a stomach ache.

Other nonverbal cues

It is unusual for the fair sex to express their emotions in direct text; they are more likely to use the language of gestures and hints. A girl does not confess her love before a man because she is afraid of being rejected.

In addition to looks, appearance and speech, there are other signs of a girl’s love:

Access to personal space. The fair sex keeps a distance from an unfamiliar or unpleasant person and will not let them get close. If a lady does not mind intrusion into her personal zone, she is attracted to the young man. A girl in love allows you to touch her hands, hair, reciprocates hugs;
Attempts to touch. Women themselves will look for an opportunity to touch the object of sympathy, hold his hand, and will sit next to him everywhere. During a conversation, they can put their hand on his shoulder, straighten his hair or his shirt collar;
Coquetry and flirting. They manifest themselves not only in words, but also in movements. A woman may involuntarily begin to straighten her hair, twirl a curl around her finger, or move her leg. Facial expressions become more animated, a smile and a flirtatious glance appear;
Attempts to copy behavior. In childhood, a child copies the behavior and manner of speech of his favorite cartoon characters; this habit takes root and persists into a conscious age. A girl may not notice how she repeats the gestures, manner of speech and facial expressions of the man with whom she is in love;
Interest in social networks. In the age of computer technology, you can maintain contact with anyone around the clock. The girl will take advantage of this opportunity, will always look for a reason to write to him, will quickly respond to messages, and will appreciate all his photos.

It is worth paying attention to how the girl sits in company. The torso will be turned towards the person she likes. If a girl crosses her legs, the toe will be directed towards the object of her sympathy.