What to do if a girl doesn’t want a relationship, but communicates: how to achieve love

The girl said she doesn't want a relationship? This is complete nonsense! From childhood, the female sex is accustomed to the family hearth: dolls, daughters and mothers, plastic dishes and much more. For the most part, their main goal is to build successful relationships: some only care about money, while others care about love and mutual understanding.

Therefore the problem is with you! As Pushkin said: “ The less we love a woman, the more she likes us!” "You're just not 'asshole' enough for her:

Yes, there are girls who are looking for a good guy, but not everything is easy with them either. Let's look at the reasons!

Why does she say she doesn't want a relationship?

Before choosing a behavior strategy, you need to try to understand why the girl refuses to transform communication into a relationship.

The reasons may be different:

a recent breakup that she experienced painfully;
fears that the new relationship will end as unsuccessfully as the previous one;
wants to achieve results in her career or studies, so at the moment she is not ready for novels;
believes that he is not yet at the age to have a serious relationship and get married;
has not yet decided, chooses between two contenders for her heart, etc.

These reasons are not a death sentence and give a chance to transform the relationship into a serious romance.

However, it is better to think about whether it is worth doing this if the girl is using you as a backup option or simply considers you a “convenient” admirer. In this case, the chances of reciprocity are small.

If you already understand why your chosen one is in no hurry to talk about a serious relationship, it is important to act as quickly as possible. Tact and patience are good qualities, but if you think too much, you risk falling into a friend zone that is not so easy to get out of. In this case, you will remain reliable and possibly a best friend, but without the chance of a romantic relationship.

After breaking up with an ex

Almost every girl doesn't want a relationship immediately after a breakup. Delicate people need time to heal their emotional wounds. Some people need a few days to start looking for their soulmate again, while others need several months to recuperate. Fear of new relationships can easily be explained by the following:

The girl was betrayed by her boyfriend and she doesn’t want the situation to repeat itself.
A young, inexperienced beauty made a big mistake in choosing a partner and now doesn’t trust men.
The abandoned and offended girl still loves her ex and hopes for his return.

If several days have passed since the breakup, it is stupid to demand reciprocal feelings, a desire to go on a date with a new fan. She needs a break, a break from emotional upheavals. Don't be too active, just be there and surround the unfortunate girl with attention:

Ask more often how she’s doing, her mood, and get ready to hear long answers about sleepless nights, about how her ex is a scumbag. For an intimate conversation, you can use a phone call, correspondence on social networks, or a date.
Give the girl nice gifts, make surprises. Attention should not be intrusive.
Every day, try to cheer her up: tell jokes, joke, invite her for evening walks with the dog, or on a shopping trip.
Show your stability, perseverance, ability to wait.
Protect her about her ex, and never try to reconcile them.
Distract from sad thoughts by talking about studies, hobbies, and planning trips.
When the girl cools down and calms down, tell her that you want to win her heart and help her stop loving her ex.

When a girl says she doesn't want a relationship, don't take her words seriously. Try to understand the reason for a woman’s behavior, make a plan to win her heart and everything will work out.

How to tell if a girl is not interested in you

It is important to understand the difference between when a girl is interested in you, but is not yet ready for a serious relationship, and when she really does not need you. Signs that there is no chance of reciprocity:

responds to messages in monosyllables, without asking counter questions or maintaining a conversation;
refuses to meet several times in a row;
remembers you only when she needs something, for example, to take you somewhere, help move furniture, borrow money, etc.

If a girl exhibits one of these behaviors, she is unlikely to view you as a potential boyfriend; rather, you are a good friend to her. In this case, you can also try to achieve reciprocity, but it will be more difficult than when she makes contact.

Is it worth continuing a relationship if there are doubts?

Breaking a long-term relationship is difficult, but sometimes you have to do it if a girl has doubts about the relationship. Before you slam the door forever, perform one last experiment:

Write a message to your man reflecting all the negative aspects that have been eating you up lately. Pretend that you sent it to the recipient. Think about whether it has become easier or whether you still want to leave.
Offer yourself a pause of a month to six months to make a final decision, and during this time do not load your head with thoughts of a breakup.

If you like your partner alone and in company, it is too early to leave him under the influence of emotions. Reformat the relationship from lovingly enthusiastic to meaningful and do not stop talking to each other so that blank spots of understatement do not appear between you.

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Reasons why a girl communicates but does not want a relationship

If you actively communicate, go to the cinema, to a cafe and constantly correspond, but the relationship does not have an official status, there may also be reasons for this.

This could be because she:

has not known you long enough, because everyone has their own pace of rapprochement;
considers your intentions not serious enough;
sees some kind of flaw in you, for example, lack of work, bad habits or possessive attitude, etc.;
has feelings for someone else, but considers you just a good friend.

These signs indicate that the girl is in doubt - she is interested in you, but not so much that she feels in love. In this case, you need to act decisively to quickly transfer the relationship to a different status.

Possible reasons

The girl may already have a boyfriend.
She keeps you close, but refuses the relationship, because you are a backup option for her. If the girl she liked refused the relationship, she had her own reasons for this. We will look at the most common options.

Your chosen one already has a person with whom she is in love. She can either be in a relationship with him or silently suffer from her love (possibly unrequited), but at the moment there is no place for you in her heart. In such a situation, if your feelings for the girl are strong, then you should wait, suddenly something will change in her life.
A recent breakup may cause a young person to be reluctant to enter into a new relationship. There may be unresolved feelings, pain from parting, and reluctance to step on the same rake. In this case, it is better not to put pressure on the girl, wait until she moves away from what happened in her life.
A young lady can refuse a guy in a situation where he was very intrusive, constantly called, overly patronized, in a word, “boring.”
Having other priorities in a girl’s life. A situation when a young lady devotes all her time, for example, to studying, preparing for exams, or problems in the family affect the impossibility of creating close relationships at this particular moment. In such a situation, it is necessary to treat the choice of your beloved with understanding. At the same time, nothing prevents you from trying to gain her favor.
You are only a friend to her. A situation where you find yourself in the friend zone. All the time we were communicating, the young lady saw in you only a friend, a comrade, a person with whom she could share her problems, seek help, but not someone with whom she could start a love relationship.
A situation where representatives of a future couple belong to different social classes can cause refusal and reluctance to enter into a relationship.
The girl has too high demands on her future partner. There are women who are waiting for a “prince on a white horse”, looking for someone who in reality does not exist.
She keeps you as a backup option. Perhaps she has a permanent boyfriend, in whose presence the young lady does not hesitate to flirt with you and shows interest. She needs you as a “back-up airfield” in case of a possible breakup with her current boyfriend.
She refuses because you are not her type. Perhaps she is not satisfied with your appearance or behavior, outlook on life, character.
The young lady has psychotrauma. This may include both a traumatic relationship with a man, and growing up in a family where parents constantly argued and the father offended the mother. A girl may, on a subconscious level, be afraid to enter into a relationship with someone, not wanting to experience all the possible negativity of living together.

How not to behave

If you see that a girl willingly communicates with you, but does not show feelings, there is no need to get angry and completely ruin your relationship with her.

Even if such behavior offends and offends you, you don’t need to:

show aggression or throw tantrums - this will completely discourage the girl from wanting to communicate with you;
putting on a mask of contempt and indifference after persistent courtship - it is better to end communication with dignity, saving face;
spreading rumors about her is rude and makes you look bad to others.

If you understand that a girl really doesn’t want a relationship with you, the best way out is to switch to another object and stop current communication.

Position and conquer6

If, after all, common sense prevails and you are determined to win a girl’s heart, make a plan for conquest and strictly follow your instructions. Be consistent and dedicated. If it’s a bouquet, then roses; if it’s lunch, then it’s a restaurant. Of course, based on financial capabilities, not every womanizer can afford luxury establishments and exclusive ikebana. Replace waste with thoughtful behavior and an empathetic attitude.

How to get a girl who doesn't want a relationship - algorithm of actions

In order for the chosen one to reciprocate, you need to follow certain rules of behavior. Here are our tips on how to act to achieve a girl's reciprocity.

Stay close

If a girl communicates with you, this already indicates that she is interested in you. This gives a chance that you can strengthen your feelings if you are always there. Show interest in how her day is going, in her life and hobbies. Girls love attention, so sooner or later she will appreciate this behavior and begin to treat you with warmth.

Try to win her

It is important that your attention is not passive; show her that you are interested in her as a girl: give flowers, give compliments, confess your feelings. Don’t be afraid to seem banal; the fair sex loves romantic actions, even if they want to seem proud and independent.

Change your tactics

If your attempts have not yielded results, take a break and do not write or call for several days. Choose the duration of this behavior yourself, but in such a way that the girl has time to notice your absence, but at the same time, does not forget about you. It is optimal to disappear for 5-7 days, and then write a message or call. It is not necessary to explain the reason for the absence, but if she asks, refer to urgent matters; there is no need to tell the real reason.

The advantage of this behavior is that, having gotten used to constant attention, the girl will feel your absence in her life more acutely. Such behavior will at least hurt her and increase your importance to her. As a maximum, it will create a desire not only to return everything as it was, but also to take the relationship to a new level.

It’s important not to overdo it here - you don’t need to disappear for a long time and you shouldn’t expect her to call first. Your task is to attract her attention, not to anger her.

Don't rush things

Even if the very next day after meeting you you want to kiss her and confess your love, you should restrain yourself. Maybe some of the girls will be pleased with such persistence, but most will perceive such behavior with caution. Doubts will immediately arise about the seriousness of the feelings that arose so quickly and you may be considered too flighty.

Don't give ultimatums

If you have been communicating for a long time and are tired of the unknown, you can ask a direct question who she considers you to be in her life. But this must be done carefully, without using ultimatum language.

If you tell a girl that you are a couple starting tomorrow or she won't see you again, most likely she will choose the second option. Even if she doesn’t want to lose you, it’s more important for her to preserve her right to make independent decisions.

Don't allow yourself too much

When talking about determination and active action, there is no need to overstep the boundaries. It is important to show your attention in care and courtship, and not move on to physical actions.

Try to kiss her only when you see a hint of reciprocity on her part, otherwise there may not be a second chance. And, moreover, there is no need to “give up”; such behavior will immediately put an end to further attempts to move to a new level of relations.

But there is no need to completely exclude tactile sensations. Random hugs, light touches on the waist, palms, knees will evoke emotions and help you understand whether there is that same “chemistry” between you.

Don't play on jealousy

Frequent advice is to demonstratively show signs of attention to other girls in order to arouse jealousy in your chosen one. But this is a risky method because:

will raise doubts about the sincerity of your feelings;
will give another girl reason for vain hopes.

Thus, the consequences of using this method may be additional problems that not only will not help in achieving the goal, but will also hinder it.

Engage in self-development

Spending 99% of your time on the girl you like is a bad idea. Self-sufficient people who know their worth and exude confidence attract more people. If you have long wanted to start a new business or change your job, now is the time. Don’t be afraid that you won’t be able to devote enough time to your girlfriend; a busy young man arouses more interest and respect than one who has nothing to do and is ready to run to his chosen one at the first call.

Don't limit her

Don’t set specific boundaries for the girl, don’t try to prohibit something. Even when there is already a stable relationship, such behavior worsens it. And at the beginning of dating and communication, such restrictions will only push the chosen one away.

Give the lady time, but don't ask why she can't meet today. Do not try to control her phone, find out the list of those with whom she contacted during the day. Give a girl a feeling of freedom along with the feeling that you are always there, and she will very quickly appreciate this attitude.

If she suggests being friends, agree.

You can't force anyone to love you. If a girl does not want a relationship with you, this does not mean that you are unworthy of her, she just has other interests. If she offers to remain friends, agree, this way you will be close to her and become a truly close person. And over time, you will meet the one who will appreciate you and make you happy.

Thus, there are many reasons why a girl does not want a relationship, but at the same time actively communicates. Almost all of them make it possible to transfer communication to a different status if you behave correctly, so you just need a little time and patience.

What to do

Here are some effective methods to correct the situation:

Serious conversation. We definitely need to talk. Do not hint, but ask direct questions, demand a clear answer. Tell him that you can’t be played with, you’re tired of the uncertainty. If a girl needs a break to think about the future, her behavior, analysis of feelings and desires, do not be afraid to give her a couple of days for this.
Move away from each other. Stop running after her, trying to achieve a reciprocal feeling. The guy's distance and his coldness will help the girl understand how dear the guy is to her. If she doesn’t want to stop communicating, she will take the initiative herself. All you have to do is demand a specific answer to the proposal to meet.
Take care of yourself, develop physically and spiritually. Promising young men attract girls more than tired losers.
Connect tactile sensations. If a girl is not excited by romantic dates in a friendly format, use hugs, light touches on the palms, waist, and knees.

What not to do:

Intrude and beg to start dating as a couple. Be strong and courageous, it is better to break up with the beauty who did not see your soul mate, and quickly find another.
Continue to seek love if the girl honestly admitted that she is playing with your feelings.
Swear, insult the girl, make cruel jokes about her on social networks and troll after refusal.

How to fix the situation so she wants it

What to do if the girl does not want to continue the relationship? Everything is very simple - you need to act (provided that the feelings are real, and not just passion to achieve your goal). Rescue techniques:

Give good emotions - make sure she remembers her date with you with a smile. Then she will want to repeat it again and again.
To become a good wizard, don’t be shy about making grand gestures - a bouquet of 101 roses, a large teddy bear, an armful of balloons, sushi delivery. Through the delivery service you can pamper your loved one every day. And most importantly, don’t demand anything in return; selflessness is captivating and inspires trust.
Make them laugh - according to statistics, girls choose guys with humor who can amuse and lift their spirits.
Participate in her life - be sincerely interested in her hobby, ask about her childhood and tell her about yours - the more you know about each other, the closer you will become emotionally.
Don’t pester - if she’s in a bad mood, or you don’t know each other well, take a pause and don’t rush things . Especially if she broke up with her boyfriend not long ago.
Prove your reliability - help in a difficult situation, listen, reassure, find a solution to the problem. As soon as she sees a man in you, she will begin to look with different eyes and will want a relationship herself.
To be liked by her friends - an outside opinion means a lot ; if a girl constantly hears how lucky she is and what her ideal guy is - there will be fewer fears, and more desire to take the next step.