Even the strongest and happiest couples are not immune from periods when the relationship begins to boil down to the indifferent routine phrase “How was your day?”, and instead of spending time together, the couple each goes into their own corner.
Often on forums dedicated to family relationships you can often read messages on the topic “the guy is bored with me, please advise what can be done.” The current situation does not mean that the couple should necessarily separate and try to find a happy family life somewhere else.
Before you give up on an existing relationship, you should try to understand why this happened and try to make the relationship brighter.
Signs that a guy is bored in a relationship
The first signs that a guy is bored with me are usually not immediately noticeable. After all, it is very difficult to admit that not everything is so smooth in a relationship and take off the so-called rose-colored glasses. Nevertheless, it is worth taking a closer look at how the guy behaves in his relationship with the girl.
- The initiator of the relationship is the girl. It doesn’t matter at all who took the very first step to create a relationship. The conversation is about a situation when, after some time, the first love passes, and mutual attraction and common plans for the future should come in its place. If a man behaves according to the rule “I want something, but I don’t know what,” and a girl seeks a relationship and love for herself, this is the surest sign that the man is in a relationship out of duty or boredom
- There is no dating without sex. A guy refuses to spend time together if he knows for sure that the meeting will not end in sex. He will not go with a girl to a party or for a walk on a day off, after which everyone will go to their own house. But he will happily come to the young lady’s house - if she invites him to stay all night.
- A man in bed only cares about making him feel good. If a girl has a lot of sex in her life, but she doesn’t get pleasure from it, there is a high probability that she is in a relationship with a man who doesn’t care about her. It is very important for her to understand that the problem lies not in her, but in him. Namely, in relation to her companion. Yes, there are men who are inept lovers. But if a man loves, he will always be an attentive lover and try to make the woman feel really good with him.
- The man doesn't care about the woman at all. Of course, sexual problems can be attributed to differences in the temperaments of partners, inexperience, and even to female sexual complexes, but such a problem will not work with care. It is enough to find yourself in a difficult situation once to understand your partner’s true attitude.
- The girl caught a cold. Is the guy calling to see how she's feeling? Tired after work, will he come to her house to bring food and medicine? If yes, he really has feelings. If not, he’s just killing time with her.
Not listening
If a young man is interested in communication, he tries during the conversation to at least roughly grasp the meaning of what the girl is saying. Of course, a rare guy is able to reproduce word-for-word the information he heard, but an attentive interlocutor will definitely understand the general thread of the conversation.
When a man is bored with his other half, he does not try to delve into what she says. Usually, during a conversation, the partner is immersed in his thoughts or “immersed” in the Internet. It is enough just to abruptly interrupt the story and ask a leading question to make sure that the guy is absolutely not listening.
I'm not interesting - why do I feel this way?
“I'm not an interesting conversationalist. Uninteresting guy to girls. Not interesting to other people. No one is interested in me as a person.”
This self-awareness of oneself as an uninteresting, boring, flawed person - where does it come from?
Let's trace the components of this phenomenon
Own self-esteem
If we try to dig deeper into your soul, we will see a little person there, a child. Who really lacks a sense of self-worth.
But adequate, healthy self-esteem will always be the basis for any communication with other people.
Non-recognition, disapproval by society
Every person has a very important need - recognition and approval. This need is not only socially conditioned. It is even biologically important. Because, you see, for a person to simply survive in society, he needs the society in which he is located to approve of him.
And this desire for approval by society dates back to ancient times, when people still lived in autonomous tribes. If you are not approved by your tribe, if you behave in some way incorrectly, then the pack will expel you. And then you are doomed to death.
Lack of family recognition and approval
Plus, the need for approval and recognition from the person (mother, most often) on whom your survival depends in early childhood.
All three of the above ingredients for feeling bored and uninteresting are interconnected. How?
Here's how: there is one very interesting phenomenon. It's called the "mirror effect". The people around us unconsciously read our own self-esteem and return to us exactly the attitude that will be equal to our deep inner sense of self.
And, it turns out. Deep down, we consider ourselves a boring, uninteresting person with whom there is nothing to talk about. We ourselves recognize ourselves as flawed, bad, unimportant. And, at the same time, we urgently need people, especially close ones, to approve of us.
An internal conflict arises. The knot is tightened.
Avoids eye contact
The main nonverbal sign of our interest in the interlocutor is maintaining eye contact with him during a conversation. With a glance, a person is able to express approval or dissatisfaction, surprise or sympathy. If a guy mostly looks somewhere to the side during communication, he is clearly not interested in his opponent.
Of course, this sign in itself is not an unambiguous confirmation of boredom. Some people generally do not like to make eye contact when communicating. But if the guy has not behaved this way before, then it’s still worth thinking about. The boredom he experiences becomes especially obvious if, during a conversation with his other half, the partner without hesitation looks at other girls nearby.
How to become an interesting person and personality
To become and remain an interesting person and person is to forever get away from the self-perception “I’m boring, I’m boring.” For this:
Look at life until you fall in love with it.
If you want to become an interesting person, get interested!
How? Yes, anything from everything that surrounds you. Look, look around with interest.
Shift your focus from the problem “I am boring and I need the approval of others” to Life.
Once you start to take a closer look at everything that the world is filled with, it will seem to you that even nine lives are not enough to study everything. There are so many interesting and fascinating things in the world.
Remember when you were a little child. How amazing the world around me seemed. Simple puddles were a different story - deep in the summer, frozen in the mornings in the fall. Each subject was studied, looked at from all sides, and seemed to be something special.
And, now that you have grown up, you are surrounded by more complex and more interesting things.
History, politics, music, literature, art in general, new knowledge and skills.
Doing is not redoing, reading is not re-reading.
If until now you have been sitting, bored and telling yourself “I am boring (boring) and uninteresting,” then the time has come to become an interesting person and personality. If you want to be interesting, kindle your interest in life and its manifestations.
Don’t be afraid to leave your usual swamp – your comfort zone. Even if you are scared and reluctant, get up and go. Yes, at first it will be unusual and uncomfortable. But then you will be grateful to yourself for being able to raise yourself and go into the New.
Interested in other girls
The most alarming sign that the relationship has reached a dead end is the guy’s obvious interest in other representatives of the fairer sex. A young man constantly talks about his attractive colleagues, defiantly looks at all the girls passing by, and even in the presence of his partner cannot resist flirting with the person he likes.
Sometimes one of the partners becomes bored in the company of the other half. The presence of signs of cooling in a guy's behavior indicates that the relationship is under threat. To avoid separation, you need to try to diversify your communication and also work on yourself.
- Author: zazazelka
Rate this article:
- 5
- 4
- 3
- 2
- 1
(0 votes, average: 0 out of 5)
Share with your friends!
Often irritated
A bored guy is always irritated. He may show a negative reaction in response to the words, actions, and emotions of his partner. Even a girl’s appearance or her facial expressions can cause rejection. This behavior can be explained simply - the young man realizes that he is not spending his time the way he would like. He can understand with his mind that the girl is not to blame for anything, but all the negativity will be directed at her in any case.
The situation gets even worse if the partner begins to show jealousy, demand explanations, and make trouble. This completely drives the guy crazy.
Recent entries The best models of sneakers for all occasions: a review of trending brands, their new products and proven flagships Summer trousers 2022: choosing trending colors, styles and fabrics Fashionable clothing styles: trends 2021-2022 for women, men and children of any age and body type
Sign No. 7. A man tries to make a girl jealous
If a man immediately after breaking up starts adding girls as friends, liking them, writing comments, going on dates with them, building what seems like a serious relationship at first glance. If he posts a photo with a new passion with the caption “I finally found happiness” and tries with all his might to show how good he is in his new relationship, then, most likely, in reality everything is exactly the opposite. He is bored, he is in pain, and in this way the man is trying to attract the attention of his ex. He wants to evoke some feelings in her, a response. An exception may be if the ex did not just break up with the girl, but left her for his mistress. Then this sign can not be considered as the fact that the man is bored.
Find out what to do if your husband leaves for his mistress >>>
Sign 5: new image
He bought a sweater, polished his shoes, and shaved his stubble every day. And he didn’t ask for your opinion (shameless). It’s not a fact that a man has an interesting girlfriend, next to whom he has fun and relaxes his soul. But it’s infuriating - why is he dressed up like that, and not for you?
A change in image can also be a wake-up call
Doesn't support long-distance communication
When a man feels affection for his woman, he yearns for her during separation. His emotional state is easy to recognize by constant calls, messages, unexpected visits at the first opportunity.
If a guy went on a business trip or vacation and stopped communicating, then he obviously doesn’t get bored during the separation. The lack of need to communicate with a girl who is far away indicates that the partner is absolutely comfortable without his other half.
