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They say that there is nothing worse than an indifferent person. It is indifference and indifference that contribute to wars, quarrels, crises and disasters. Well, what could be a priori worse than an indifferent person? No answer. No comments.
If you are indifferent to the enemy, it is certainly good that you were able to achieve this state. But if you are artificially indifferent and you are tormented by certain emotions, it is completely different. In general, there is nothing worse than indifference in the world, in the galaxy and in the entire universe.
What to do when a man has cooled off towards you? At the first meetings, the man usually shows interest... This manifests itself both before the wedding and after some time. But what to do when you have stopped being interesting to your man, and his motivation towards you is zero?
Psychologists, of course, will begin to advise changing yourself externally and internally. The problem of indifference arguments is quite large-scale.
What needs to be done? Read, learn, be interesting to a man in every possible way. But how can this be implemented in reality? They will also tell you to take up a certain hobby and become interesting, first of all, to yourself.
How often do we see from the outside that there are women who are able to constantly keep a man in good shape and in the focus of their attention. Men notice such women. Are these such special women? Or is this a psychotype of men?
What to do in general when you cannot reach a person either with words, or with the help of the epistolary genre, or with the help of gestures? What should I do? Leave? Or fight? What if a woman is addicted? Or is she scared? What if she loves?
The first option is to run away from such a man.
The second option is to take steps. Call, write, flatter, give gifts, make surprises, compliments, surprise, shock, delight, sign up for belly dancing, a strip plastic group, or start raising your intellectual level. Become interesting to him with every fiber of your soul. If he is involved in programming, study programs. If he is good at plumbing, look at all the news on this topic. You must attract him with something, attract him. There are many women, but each has a certain focus, while the other is not capable of possessing it.
If everything has already been tried, it’s worth looking for options.
Indifference in relationships. Never take steps towards intimacy in response to indifference.
I’ll leave the tamers of the obstinate with their house-building for a while and ask the women.
Women, do you want to know the simple secret to building successful relationships? It is in vain that some people think that there is no such secret, that there are no universal and simple recipes. In some places it doesn’t happen, but here it does. And it has been known since ancient times. The secret couldn’t be simpler: never take steps towards intimacy in response to a man’s indifference or aggression. Women, do you want to know the simple secret to building successful relationships?
It is also good to always encourage any right thing a man does. But the main thing is the first. Never, under any circumstances, break this rule from the very beginning. From the very beginning of a relationship, this is very important, because if you never follow this rule and suddenly start abruptly, the effect may be the opposite. I'll tell you which one later. But if from the very beginning you consistently and clearly build a field of relationships in which it will be possible to receive love and intimacy from you only by giving you the same love and intimacy, and nothing else, in which every step back of your partner will lead to a decrease in your interest, It will be almost impossible to get you into a relationship with an imbalance. There will always be a person with you who values you, and everyone who does not value you will not have access to you. It seems that this rule is not only logical, but also simple. Why take a step towards intimacy with someone who is indifferent or aggressive? Isn't this the healthiest reaction - to pull your hand away from the cold or fire? Isn’t it mutual warmth and mutual pleasure that pushes people closer together? Unfortunately, this is only true for holistic and mature people. Immature people are so fragmented and contradictory from within that they require unimaginable strength to comply with this rule. And in order to understand where to apply it, a round table.
Pierre Janet was the first to write about the internal fragmentation of the psyche and personality. This is a brilliant psychologist who worked before Freud and even before Breuer, the author of the concept of “Interiorization”, on which the entire theory of unconscious processes and almost the entire psychology of the 20th century is built. Pierre Janet is less known than those who made full use of his discoveries, since he stepped far forward and wrote a lot of paradoxical things. In his books, he described various mental phenomena and his “Energy System”, in fact, quite accurately explains many phenomena that are still considered mysteries. Janet studied women somnambulists and hysterics to understand the mechanism of mental automatism. Janet’s main conclusion: a healthy psyche is distinguished by great plasticity and at the same time integrity, the processes in it are coordinated and at the same time have great flexibility, so a person with such a psyche is practically not suggestible.
An unhealthy psyche, “Weak” as Janet called it, is inconsistent, fragmented, each part acts on its own, but in order to maintain at least some constancy, plasticity is impaired, ideas are fixed, many become obsessive. In addition to cases of obvious pathology, when the fragmentation and fixity of the psyche is great, there are also possible cases of normal underdevelopment, which occurs at a young age, and therefore young people are contradictory, suggestible, prone to go to extremes and become infected with affect.
All I am trying to talk about is that with a lack of personality development, a person behaves childishly, but, being deprived of youthful advantages, he suffers more. It also causes suffering to loved ones.
For a person to feel normal, she needs at least a minimum of personal support, which she can feel as her own and independently support. An unformed personality needs a minimum of external resources and supports that to feel its existence and security, a formed personality for a long time can make do only with internal ones. An unformed personality quickly collapses under extreme conditions, is easily influenced, quickly becomes infected with ideas, and immediately surrenders “Itself.”
A formed personality can resist and survive for quite a long time without any external support. Its reserves are limited, but they can last for a very long time, depending on the strength of personality integration and the power of the inner core. But this is a lyrical digression. The point is that if a personality is not fully formed, and even deprived of external supports, it turns into what Janet wrote about: a fragmented, contradictory, disorganized being, incapable of self-control. Only if no one takes control of such a person does she remain in the chaos of feelings, ideas, and emotions. She is sometimes bored, sometimes anxious, sometimes carried away somewhere, she submits to almost any external movement, and it is difficult for her to resist, since her personality is fragmented and no part of it outweighs.
Either the department responsible for the sense of duty is turned on, then the department responsible for pleasure, then the department involved in planning, then the department that protects from stress. Therefore, such a person sometimes doesn’t care about everything, sometimes something worries him very much, sometimes he wants to break away and fly, sometimes, on the contrary, he behaves strictly according to the rules, sometimes he likes to be promiscuous, sometimes such hints are disgusting. It would not be an exaggeration to say that such a person is looking for a “Master”. Of course, she is not constantly searching, this would mean the unity of her goals, but her goals change, but in fact there are no goals at all. But in moments of fatigue from one’s toil, anxiety, the chaotic nature of the world or boredom and monotony, in a word, in moments of realizing one’s inability to cope with managing one’s life, such a person really wants to find someone to whom one could entrust oneself.
After such an extensive digression, it should be clear why a woman, especially a young woman or who has just emerged from a symbiosis (parental or marital) or who simply failed to grow up or is experiencing a personal crisis and internal breakdown, cannot build relationships consistently. A simple recipe is too complicated for her, she wants one thing, then another, and most importantly, she cannot restrain any emotions, and a variety of emotions arise in her. In response to rudeness, a passionate desire for intimacy may arise in order to relieve stress right away, and in response to affection, boredom and an unbearable need to be sarcastic may suddenly begin. Guilt replaces aggression and vice versa.
She literally “cannot control herself”, behaves stupidly and destructively, instead of being reasonable, confident, correct, and thereby attractive to equally reasonable, confident and correct people. No. She is scattered, disheveled, torn in the energetic and emotional sense. It ignites, then cools, fills with energy and is de-energized at the same time. The number of holes in her psychic field is incalculable, and as soon as one closes, a new one appears.
Sometimes this is noticeable externally, but almost always in behavior and speech. That is why reasonable, confident and correct people avoid her. Those who feel her weakness and chaos inside stick to her. She is like a flower that exudes nectar that is too sweet or even too poisonous for people who are looking for healthy relationships and mutual love. But people who have the same chaos inside are drawn to it because they see their own in it or they have a certain core, but a very specific one, more like the trunk of a bumblebee, and they fly to this flower to collect honey. However, this is not honey, and the flying ones are not bumblebees, and the poor thing is not a flower. Therefore, the little vampire’s paws stick, he becomes furious, and tears it off along with the petals.
And sometimes he finds a way to drink nectar without getting stuck, but since it is more likely poison or alcohol, he quickly goes into a drunken frenzy. Or another scenario: a predatory flower slams its petals and begins to eat the brain of such an insect. In general, there are many stories, they are fascinating and all about passionate and painful relationships that beautifully or uglyly destroy both. It’s true that most bitches (albeit not all) are secretly or openly looking for a “Tamer”, so they unleash all their chaos on any man they like, hoping that he will somehow organize it or go to hell. Unfortunately, they are often dragged to hell too. There are two most popular interpretations of the phenomenon of “Bitchiness”, conventionally male and conventionally female. Male: a selfish woman spoiled by her parents, who is easier to abandon than to correct, but if everything is not very bad, such a woman will be cured by love and respect for a man, she will give up her selfishness and become a good wife. Female: bitch - a woman disappointed in men, forced to behave this way for self-defense or out of revenge, is treated with love, tenderness and tact of a loving man. As we can see, the two interpretations offer opposite models of behavior for the bitch's partner. The masculine urges to set conditions harshly and if the conditions are not met, to leave, because “That means he doesn’t love you.” The female one calls, on the contrary, to long and persistently gain the trust of the bitch, enduring all her quirks and shocks in order to gradually “Melt the Icy Heart.” In fact, both models work poorly. And both are good under certain conditions. The first model works when a man’s conditions are not strict, but clear, but very fair, he is consistent, he is decent himself, he is interesting to a woman, he does not obey her, but does not offend her either. In order to organize a more chaotic and contradictory partner and build the right field of relationships, it is very, that is, extremely important not to offend him or deceive him. You need to take care of yourself and be very tactful, not to be fooled by provocations. In response to his rudeness, it is better to politely say goodbye, thereby allowing him to realize his behavior and feel guilty. Only if a person himself constantly violates boundaries, attacks and behaves tactlessly, is it impossible to figure out where he is to blame and where the other is, which means it is impossible to build a field. In this case, the more chaotic partner will easily drag the second into chaos, and the second will be amazed at his own madness. To have a normal relationship, it is better to communicate with a more organized (as a person) person, more stable and mature than yourself. And if your partner is less organized, you need to watch yourself very carefully and be doubly stable. Such a fair, but firm and consistent position really has a chance to charm the bitch and force her to recognize in the man the one to whom she wants to entrust leadership: a reliable, fair, strong man. But is it really good to give leadership over yourself to someone, even the kindest one? Of course not. However, this may be better than driving yourself and those around you crazy by ruining your life. The latter, in general, is the same subordination, only not to one, but to everyone in a row, chaotically and unsystematically, whoever turns up. It is best to take your personality into your own hands, at least gradually. And sometimes a partner can help with this if he does not use the leadership given to him over himself, but gradually returns it to where it should be. But more on this important point later. For now, let’s focus on the fact that such a model can work and create something like a harmonious couple. But for this, the man must show himself to be a very worthy person (who can be completely trusted), and the woman must turn out to be not so much a bitch, but rather an unbalanced, contradictory, emotionally unstable person who is trying to get rid of it. A real bitch learned to live in her chaos and somehow coexist with her own demons by giving them shares. That’s why she won’t come under human power so easily. But more on that later. The female model of taming a bitch (this is “Love, Endure, Win Trust”) is very criticized by men and considered a trap. No one wants to love, endure, conquer, and end up being used, and even humiliated. From such a picture, any man would be better off becoming a monk if all women turn into bitches, but for now just look for flexible women. Men don't see the logic in showing women their weakness when they expect them to be strong. However, under certain conditions, the female model also works. And it increases masculine strength in a woman’s eyes. If a man manages to maintain a sense of self-worth, not to humiliate himself and show only one weakness - love, and in everything else - strength, he can well afford to “Conquer a Woman”. At a certain moment, having shown his love enough, he can make it clear that his hopes have been exhausted, relationships without reciprocity no longer interest him, and most “Bitches” will not be able to let such a man go and will run after him, willing to get rid of his bitchy behavior. In principle, these are all descriptions of the same thing as in the male model, just from the other side. If you use the models straightforwardly, they do not work at all. “Hardly bending” a bitch means being sent away immediately or accepted and vindictively humiliated a little later. “Winning Trust” by humiliating yourself means losing not only her respect, but also your own. In a word, any models are nonsense, only internal harmony and your own core matter. The main thing to pay attention to is that effective behavior in both models is, in fact, the behavior of a very mature and internally stable person. Immature and unstable, both models will be overused and cause problems. His emotions will always drown out and blind him, because the bitch has an amazing ability to explode his brain. In any model, the partner will behave exactly as an extremely hysterical and unstable girl behaves: tell her to go to hell, then ask for forgiveness, then disappear, then demand something, then change her plans again. This is the best way to resist a partner who has a desire for a normal relationship. But a partner with the same chaos inside may like it. Another question is where these souls will end up together.
Incredibly, a mature person is able to pull an insufficiently mature partner into a relationship that will help him mature. Women, do you want to know the simple secret to building successful relationships? These are relationships with a high degree of trust, but also with the preservation of boundaries, with great warmth, but a balance of contributions, with shared responsibility for the common space, but with personal obligations, with saturation with the energy of the outside world, without symbiotic stuffiness, but also without the coldness of distanced relationships. A person who does not want to develop will not be able to endure such relationships and will fly out of them at an early stage, but a person who strives for development and is ready for it will find such relationships beneficial. For those rejected into chaos, there are a huge number of people like them, ready to dance with them around witches’ fires, drink each other’s tears and blood and practice love magic. Marina Komissarova.
The problem of people's indifference is arguments. Recommendations.
- Go the distance. But the trick here is to withstand it. Artificially show lack of interest. Do not write, do not call, do not follow your betrothed. Those who can withstand at least a couple of days are already able to achieve success.
- Distance yourself.
- The problem of human indifference, the arguments are very extensive. The main thing is not to show emotions.
- Observe but do nothing.
- Use the epistolary genre to describe your own state. Subsequently, it is worth sending your emotions to him, the only one to whom they were intended. If there is no reaction, then you need to forget the man of your dreams.
- Master various sexual techniques, including wumbling, and actively apply this in practice.
- Develop your femininity. Read an article on this topic at the link ''Woman's femininity. “A man seeks his pleasure in a woman” (I.M. Sechenov). Protecting men." https://chudo-udo.com/poleznye-sovety/item/2832-zhenstvennost-zhenshchiny-muzhchina-ishchet-v-zhenshchine-svojo-naslazhdenie-im-sechenov-zashchita-muzhchin
- Lose weight to the extent that you personally feel your inner self-confidence. A few extra pounds are not good for anyone. An enlarged face shape does not give us women self-confidence.
- Get active in fitness.
- Walk only in heels. They help you feel confident. And any confidence will be reflected in your inner state.
- Always be in great shape. Take active care of yourself.
- Think positively.
- Tell jokes. Be witty and cheerful, not stressful, easy.
- Don't accumulate resentment. Don't remember. Live ''here and now''.
- Pamper yourself.
- Don't worry, but worry.
- The woman who acts with affection always wins, against indifference and indifference .
- Try to liberate yourself enough to be the person he dreams of.
- Achieve certain results in your own career growth. To ensure that you are proud of yourself, and he is proud of you automatically.
- Look at him furtively.
- Change your behavior tactics.
- Constantly be different from a quiet sheep, to funny or bitchy.
- Improve your appearance with the help of beauty salons.
- Dress stylishly.
- Cook delicious dishes.
- Don't strain.
- Try to cope with difficulties on your own, without involving him again or teasing him.
- Give the opportunity to rest.
- Master massage techniques.
- Organize a joint trip to another country.
- Change the situation.
- Come unexpectedly when he is not expecting. You can show up for work and be disarmed by your appearance.
- Tempt.
- Have a child from him. After all, the best gift that a woman can give to a man is his heir.
- Seek harmony in nature. Be creative. Create. Dream. Comprehend the basics of the universe.
Try to understand your true feelings for this man. What's this? Love? Addiction? Fear of loneliness? Hysterics? Or do you have a special need for this particular person? Understand the course of your thoughts and desires.
How to become indifferent to a man. Psychology of relationships
To become indifferent means to extinguish all feelings for him.
If you just wait for the feelings to go away on their own, you will have to wait a long time. If this is your man and he offended you - one thing, if unrequited feelings for a man - another, but in principle.
You need to pull yourself together, make an effort and decide that your decision to end things with this man is final and irrevocable.
Because if there are doubts about whether to cool down on him or not, little will happen.
Then we remember all the nasty and unfair words towards you, his bad deeds, lack of understanding of you.
I think that there should be enough points on such a list, because no one is perfect.
When you draw his negative psychological portrait, then ask yourself the question: do I need such a person? What will communication with such a person give me?
If this is your man who offended you, then imagine that he will accompany you in life with his negativity.
If a man does not respond to your feelings or does not know about them, then you can try and get his attention. And don’t give up right away. But this is the case if the man is single and lonely. If he is married or has a girlfriend, then you need to understand that you are simply wasting your time with him and missing out on a new meeting.
It all depends on your willpower and determination.
He doesn't want to have sex with you
Women's excuses: he is afraid of a serious relationship.
Men's truth: where are serious relationships and where is sex? (Just kidding!) But if a man likes a woman, he always wants to touch her. Therefore, if a guy, lying on the couch with you, happily eats cookies and watches a movie (and is not gay), he simply is not attracted to you. As for being afraid of serious relationships, one guy said, “That’s what we tell girls we don’t really like that much.”
Indifference in relationships
A man and a woman are polarities, between which there is a constant spark, so indifference in the psychology of a man’s relationship with a woman is essentially impossible. Yin and Yang, active and passive, obvious and hidden, logic and intuition, restraint and passion - between these opposite poles there is always tension, an energetic current. It can be different in appearance - a man next to a woman can feel a surge of energy and strength, or vice versa, the relationship drains both.
It all depends on the goal. If a woman intends to use a man for physical and material pleasures, his potential will quickly dry up without receiving anything in return. If she strives to fill her chosen one with care, attention and love, a man is unlikely to leave such a cozy space, of course, if he has not completely sunk and does not care about anything other than satisfying animal instincts.
Indifference in the psychology of relationships is common. Both women and men can be indifferent. Although, in truth, the stronger sex is more guilty of this. Why? A man is a player by nature, a passionate nature. Therefore, his interest should be constantly warmed up. For a man’s attention there should always be a point of application - and this “point” is in a woman - something that awakens in him excitement and a desire to get to know you further!
He doesn't ask you out
Women's excuses: he does not dare to take the first step, he does not want to rush things, he does not want to destroy our friendship and is generally afraid.
A man's truth: the only thing he's afraid of is admitting that he's not attracted to you at all. If a man really likes you, but there are deeply personal reasons why he doesn't want to rush things, he'll tell you immediately. And yes, the date you invited him to doesn’t count. If a woman is interested in a man, he will take all the troubles upon himself. It sounds a little old-fashioned, but when a man likes a woman, he asks her out.
The man shows indifference. Causes
- Perhaps his thoughts are occupied with another girl. Even a passing crush can cause a man to focus on a new object of affection. In this case, he may lose interest in his former girlfriend.
- Sometimes girls show excessive dependence on their lover. This is mistake. In this case, the man ceases to perceive the girl as his “prey” and loses interest in conquering her. In addition, excessive affection always causes a repulsive effect.
- Indifference may appear as a result of too serious intentions on the part of the girl. Men are more inert regarding creating a family and lasting relationships; they take such decisions longer than girls. Too certain family prospects can be intimidating from the very beginning.
- Many men are put off by girls' excessive emotionality, tendency to aggression, conflicts and hysterics. If your chosen one is not ready for such a temperamental, exhausting relationship, perhaps indifference will appear as a defensive reaction from unpleasant experiences.
- Indifference can appear as a result of long-term monotonous relationships. The daily routine, lack of creativity and play in life contribute to the fact that feelings become dull and over time can completely cool down.
- A state of lack of interest in girls can appear after a negative past experience. Even unsuccessful relationships twice in succession can lead a man to the conclusion that relationships are not for him at all. He may begin to act as if girls are not interested in him at all.
- A man may be absorbed in other matters; serious matters or problems may temporarily push the girl into the background. As a rule, in everyday worries there is always a moment for the girl you love, but if things are truly urgent, this can temporarily occupy all the man’s attention.
Nonverbal signs of sympathy
During acquaintance, first dates, unconscious actions and behavior will say more about feelings than words and promises. The ability to correctly read poses and glances will allow you to accurately determine your partner’s intentions. Of course, there is always a risk of stumbling upon a true womanizer, an expert in psychology, skillfully mastering and controlling non-verbal techniques. But even they will not risk intoxicating the one who, instead of putting on rose-colored glasses, filters the incoming fluids.
A man truly in love tries in every possible way to get closer to the girl, his body and gaze are turned to her, he tries to present himself in the best possible way, straightening his hair, straightening his shoulders. As the conversation continues, he listens attentively, is not distracted by random interlocutors, tries to casually touch his hand or straighten his hair. He notices changes in behavior, asks about hobbies, offers help, introduces friends. He does not put on a performance filled with sugary compliments, and does not forget the little things said.
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Women's indifference to a man as a test
It's no secret that women's logic, if it exists, of course, is something supernatural. Sometimes, a woman herself cannot explain to herself the purpose of a particular action or intention. The fact is that their subconscious can play a cruel joke on both men and women.
This can be explained as follows - if we can very confidently control our consciousness and sort all our beliefs according to certain principles, then this will not work with the subconscious. It periodically reminds itself of itself through the manifestation of certain unconscious actions.
This fact is directly related to relationships with men. It happens that a woman feels mutual attraction to a male representative, notices mutual interest, but here a number of obstacles arise on guard, expressed in doubts:
It would seem, why is this psychological analysis needed and what does it give if the relationship does not promise to be long-lasting?! The fact is that every person is naturally programmed to create a couple.
To continue procreation, as paradoxical as it may sound, a woman needs a self-confident male who is capable of making responsible decisions and caring for his loved ones. Based on this, a woman resorts to this kind of trick in order to make sure that her choice is correct.
Language of the body
Body language can tell a lot about every person. And if a man is attentive and knows how to pay attention to details, he will understand everything. For example, when a woman crosses her arms during a conversation and even turns her body in the other direction, this is a negative signal. Similar body positions are taken during a quarrel, and if this happens regularly, most likely, there is simply no love in the relationship anymore.
Reasons for husband's indifference. What to do?
We will try to find the answer to this together. Indifference in the psychology of a man’s relationship with a woman can be corrected. To begin with, accept that you yourself may be the reason for the indifference towards you. Blaming other people for your troubles is stupid and pointless. Now ask yourself:
- When did you notice the first signs of your husband's indifference?
- What happened before this moment?
- What did you do to make him lose attention to you? Or didn't they?..
Try these questions in different order, and write down everything that comes to mind without thinking.
- How do you benefit from an indifferent relationship?
- And why do you need this particular man who is next to you now?
Of course, the reasons for indifference can be discussed together, but only if you calmly accept any mutual answers. A good option is to seek psychological advice, especially if your biography includes the loss of a loved one and the pain of separation. It’s not easy to remove emotional layers, so trust a professional. Often, under the indifference of relationships lie very strong feelings, it would be enough to have the patience and desire to find them...
I can hear a reproach, like, why should a woman be attractive and charming, but a man, as always, won’t lift a finger?! Firstly, you are again looking for the reason not in yourself. And secondly... for God's sake, stay ordinary, it's your choice. Life is about choice. The same Roksolana studied the Turkish language and the laws of government in order to be attractive to the Sultan, Cleopatra learned alchemy and the secrets of magic. What are you interested in, first of all, to yourself?..
When indifference appeared
Photo by Iamngakan eka: Pexels
It is believed that the antonym of love is not hatred at all, but indifference. Relationships in which partners are indifferent to each other are almost impossible to restore. But not everything is as bad as it might seem. Before you give up on a relationship with an indifferent man, you need to understand the nature of his indifference.
First of all, we need to answer the question: when did indifference appear? When did he start treating you coldly? Typically there are three possible answers:
- the man was initially quite cold in the relationship;
- a man is either cold or emotionally involved in a relationship;
- the man was emotionally involved for a long time, and then suddenly became indifferent.
Understanding the nature of indifference fundamentally depends on what the answer is.
Signs of a woman's indifference. What are the signs to determine the behavior of a woman in love?
- The girl constantly secretly watches the guy who arouses her sympathy, and immediately looks away when her eyes meet his. At the same time, she can cover herself with paint like a schoolgirl, and this gives her away completely.
- She is constantly friendly with the young man, laughs at his jokes, responds to requests, willingly makes contact and tries to attract attention to herself.
- She prefers to communicate with her friends by talking with the object of her sympathy; in a word, she behaves in a way that was previously unusual for her.
- When communicating with a young man who is not indifferent to her, the girl unconsciously shows physical signs - straightening her hair in a gesture that men consider very sexy, gesticulating, showing her wrists, trying to violate personal space, trying to touch the guy’s hand or face. A young man with at least a little understanding of psychology will understand that tactile contact means sympathy.
- If a woman has a sincere feeling for a man, when talking to him, she constantly turns her head in his direction, unconsciously repeats his poses - “mirrors”.
- If you carefully observe a girl in love, you can easily notice that when talking to the guy she likes, her pupils dilate. This occurs due to the fact that a large amount of adrenaline enters the body.
- If a girl does not see a young man to whom she is not indifferent for a long time, she begins to show interest in him, asking mutual friends about what he is currently doing. Pages on social networks are now also under the close attention of the person in love.
- Gifts for no reason are a reason to think about the nature of the relationship. Most likely, the girl wants to win the sympathy of the young man and show how important he is to her. If, moreover, the present is made with your own hands, this indicates that the person spent a lot of time making it, hoping to please you.
The man suddenly became constantly indifferent
This is the most difficult situation. Initially, everything was fine, the period of falling in love was bright and emotional. But time passed, and his attitude seemed to fade away. He has become cold and indifferent to you, he is not interested in what is happening between you. Perhaps he was consumed by everyday problems, perhaps there were too many conflicts between you, and he stopped spending his energy on resolving them. Perhaps his feelings had simply faded away.
Photo by Alex Green: Pexels
What to do in such a situation
Firstly, it is necessary, in a calm, confidential atmosphere, when you both have time when you are not tired, to sit down and talk about what is happening between you. Where is your relationship going? Why don't they develop? Is there still any relationship between you or is it just a habit? Perhaps there is some fundamental, total problem in your relationship that is destroying it? What conclusion you come to will determine what to do next.
Secondly, if specific problems have been resolved, but feelings have simply faded away, you need to fall in love with each other again. There are many ways to do this in psychology.
Thus, indifference in relationships is a complex phenomenon that requires in-depth analysis. It doesn't always lead to a breakup. You need to understand the reasons for indifference and act based on this. Then there is always a chance to return the old feelings.
High sensitivity
Highly sensitive people, who make up about 20% of the world's population, are those who are always brooding over feelings and are easily overwhelmed by their partners. It follows that when highly sensitive people are in love, they tend to demand great depth in their relationships. They need it for satisfaction. Such people are more susceptible than others to both positive and negative environmental influences and are therefore more prone to stress and empathy.
Sensitivity in romantic relationships is only valuable when it is balanced. Just as we cannot love everyone, we cannot always think about and analyze the behavior of our beloved.
Over-sensitivity in romantic relationships can often cause envy, disappointment, anger, hostility and mistrust. It can lead a person to constantly search for better partners. This behavior is counterproductive because it prevents us from being happy with our lot in life and therefore prevents us from developing long-term, lasting love. To overcome these difficulties a kind of limited indifference must be required.
How to understand a man's hidden feelings
But, if a man does not demonstrate ostentatious indifference or hostility, how can you find out what he feels for you? How to recognize a man in love?
Quite simple - pay attention to his body: eyes, gestures, habits. The body is not a language; as a rule, it doesn’t lie
And start with the eyes.
Man's look
It is not for nothing that the psychology of relationships advises looking into a person’s eyes, this is how you inspire confidence in yourself and what you say. After all, if you like a person, you literally cannot take your eyes off him. And a man in love is no exception. The reverse is also true.
A man's gaze is sometimes very eloquent. If a man is sure that the woman he likes is not watching him, he examines her, literally admiring the curves of her body, her movements, etc. Some men, on the contrary, cast sidelong glances, surreptitiously, imperceptibly, considering that it is indecent to hold their gaze point-blank for a long time. Therefore, while watching a man, you can easily notice his gaze on you quite often.
Sometimes dilated pupils give away a man in love. It’s no secret that love, passion, acts on a person like a drug. This occurs under the influence of endorphin, the hormone of happiness, which is released due to strong hidden feelings.
Embrace
Hugs also often show that a man has strong hidden feelings for a woman. A man shows the depth of his feelings by hugging a woman from the back. This is how he subconsciously demonstrates the seriousness of his feelings and intentions. After all, the back is one of the vulnerable places. This is how he shows that he is quite capable of protecting you from life’s adversities.
Touch
Body contact is very important for a man in love. Often he involuntarily touches a woman, her arm, shoulder, hand, etc. This is the “attraction” of his body, which is difficult for him to control. Although most often he tries to portray the “accidentality” of such touches, because... not sure of a woman's reciprocal feelings
Therefore, pay attention to how he “accidentally” brushes against you while passing along the corridor, or touches your palm while holding out coffee, finds himself standing quite close to you in the elevator, or, going down the stairs, again “accidentally” covers your palm with his . All these are signs of his love.
Man's pose
Noticing a woman he likes, a man sucks in his stomach, straightens his shoulders and chest, trying to appear taller and slimmer. We inherited these traits from animals that behave similarly in the wild during mating season. Task: to appear taller, stronger, more attractive. If not an alpha male, then at least larger and stronger than usual.
The man’s body turns towards the woman he likes, while he tries to spread his legs wider in order to take a more stable position in space. After all, mating games are a kind of duel, during which you need to stand firmly on your feet.
Many men, when communicating with a woman, keep their hands in their pockets, with their thumbs on the outside. This demonstration is not only erotic in nature, but primarily hierarchical. This is how a man demonstrates his dominance, strengthening his authority.
Stroking objects
At the first stage of falling in love, a man often cannot afford to touch the woman he likes, so he is forced to stroke small objects: the stem of a glass, a keychain, the handle of a cup, etc. This is a subconscious desire, indicating his excitement and desire to touch, stroke and caress his chosen one.
These are signs of the body by which you can understand the hidden feelings of a man.
How does a man in love behave?
Loud conversation
When a man is in love, one of the ways to attract a woman's attention is to talk louder than usual. In this way he tries to attract the attention of a woman dear to his heart with his jokes, phrases, laughter and statements
This is reminiscent of the roar of a male in the wild during mating games. But it is quite suitable for distinguishing his attitude towards you.
Jealousy
Jealousy, open or hidden, always indicates that a man is not indifferent to you. This is one of the most obvious signs that a man is in love.
As soon as he sees a competitor, a man uses more obvious ways to attract the attention of the woman he likes or shows open aggression towards his rival.
Behavior of a man in love
Sign language
In addition to obvious signs, pay attention to non-verbal, unconscious ones. The main thing is to read body language and facial expressions correctly
No matter how the lover tries to hide his feelings, his body is tense, a little constrained. Hands may shake from embarrassment or excitement, and palms may sweat. Arms crossed on the chest indicate an attempt to close
When a man opens up, straightens his shoulders, he shows off his body, shows off, and attracts attention. Physical attraction can be assumed if during communication a man periodically touches the belt or puts his hands on his hips
Reducing the distance when talking. When falling in love, a man tries to get closer at every opportunity, to penetrate personal space.
Facial expressions and gaze
Unconscious glances towards the object of love. An interested person wants to enjoy, admire the image of his beloved.
It is very difficult for a lover to control his gaze, unless, of course, he is an intelligence agent. By noticing how a man looks, it is easy to determine whether he is in love. Admiration shines in the eyes of a man towards his beloved. Often, when talking, the gaze unconsciously stops at the lips. Realizing that it is indecent to closely examine their beloved, men begin to hide their gaze and look on the sly. But these glances are so common that they are not difficult to catch.
Psychology
The behavior of a person in love is often unstable. Constant change of mood from thoughtfulness and lyricism to fun and relaxedness.
