Indifference is a pressing problem in modern society. Most of us daily face the problems of other people, the evil that is happening and impunity, but at the same time we remain indifferent and insensitive.
No one can be sure that if things get bad on the street, someone will call an ambulance, or if criminals attack, the police will call. And that's the best case scenario. At worst, a person who has fallen from a heart attack will be called an alcoholic, and an old beggar woman begging for alms will be called a swindler and a fraudster.
What is indifference
There are several meanings of the word “indifference,” and not all of them have a negative connotation.
The majority believes that being indifferent means being indifferent, indifferent, passive, cold-blooded, and not helping others in difficult situations.
Indifference is associated precisely with indifference and indifference to the needs of other people, and is not caused by anger or hatred. An indifferent person simply does not have a feeling of pity and, as a rule, shame or conscience.
Others talk about indifference as a tiredness of the soul. After dangerous situations, terrible or difficult events in life, a person begins to hide behind a mask of indifference in an attempt to isolate himself from new problems, suffering, even other people. Gradually this condition passes, compassion, kindness and mercy reappear.
There is such a thing as indifferentism, which manifests itself as complete indifference and indifference in the sphere of knowledge, moral aspect, and social life. It can be philosophical, ethical, religious, political.
An indifferent person tries not to notice the problems of other people. After all, if they are not visible, then they do not exist. This is the lot of small individuals
Speak up directly if you notice mean, judgmental, or self-serving behavior.
There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself and asking to be treated well, especially by someone who is considered your friend. You can say something like: “I feel like you only communicate with me when you need something, and that makes me unhappy.” How a friend reacts to your feelings will say a lot about his character. A true friend will apologize and take steps to change, but someone with a vested interest will blame you for their own mistakes.
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What is indifference
The words indifference and indifference are very close in definition, but there is a slight difference.
Indifference is worse than indifference. A person may not be indifferent, but indifferent to any particular topic. For example, he will readily rush to the aid of a drowning man, but will not pay attention to a hungry kitten.
An example is apathy, which is manifested by lethargy, lack of strength, emotions, motivation, and an indifferent attitude not only to others, but also to one’s own problems. Life consists exclusively of disappointment and fatigue, relationships with other people do not attract attention.
Apathy is a consequence of severe stress, emotional burnout, depression, somatic diseases, endocrine disorders, and a side effect of taking certain medications.
As a rule, no one makes the difference between indifference and indifference.
Examples from life
- My mom's friend told us a story that she can't forget for the rest of her life. As a schoolgirl, she acted indifferently towards the fate of others, and this led to sad consequences. One day, her neighbor at the desk became ill: he began to feel dizzy and could not continue to be in class. He went to the medical center, where his blood pressure was measured and he was sent home. The boy returned to class and asked someone to show him. But he was not a very sociable child, so no one agreed. My mother’s friend, despite the fact that she sat at the same desk with him, also refused, so as not to be a black sheep. She thought that they would laugh at her if she went to see him off. The boy had no choice but to pack up and leave alone. The next day, their class teacher broke the terrible news: a student in their class had been hit and killed by a car. It turns out that this boy lost consciousness on the road and the driver did not have time to brake. Many years have passed since then, but the understanding that general indifference caused the death of the child haunted many people. If someone had been responsive and gone to take this boy home, his fate would have turned out completely differently.
- My aunt always taught me to be sympathetic and caring. In order for me to take her words more responsibly, she always confirmed them with real stories. For example, she explained to me what indifference can lead to. Once she herself showed indifference towards a stranger. She was late at work and was afraid of not catching the last bus. She lived far away and taxis were very expensive, so she didn’t want to be late at all. On the way, she saw a passerby clutch his heart and fall unconscious on the sidewalk. She saw this, but did not stop, deciding that someone else would definitely help him, who was not in as much of a hurry as she was. My aunt caught the bus, but when she arrived home, she couldn’t get rid of the thought that she had done the wrong thing. A few days later, she heard from her colleagues a story about how a man died of a heart attack not far from their work. They did not have time to provide him with the necessary assistance, because the ambulance arrived several hours later. It turned out that the man simply lay on the asphalt for two hours. Probably everyone thought the same way as my aunt, that someone would definitely help him. But this someone did not appear nearby right away. Perhaps this person could not have been saved, but living with the thought that the money saved could cost someone his life is unbearable.
What kind of person can be called indifferent
The present time is associated with a rapid moral decline, the loss of high moral qualities and beliefs. The former principles are replaced by immorality, selfishness, and indifference.
From television screens there is a continuous stream of information about murders, wars, violence, and crimes. People gradually get used to evil and perceive it as an ordinary and everyday event.
Gradually, an indifferent attitude towards teenagers smoking and fights in the yard appears. A person begins to care more about the promotions in the supermarket than about a starving neighbor living on a minimum pension.
The problem of indifference also affects the sphere of labor relations. Responsibility for the quality of work has been replaced by the usual thirst for profit, even among civil servants, doctors, and teachers.
The behavior of indifferent people from the outside looks quite ugly, especially when healthy young men do not give way to a pregnant woman or an elderly person.
The problem of an indifferent attitude towards people is especially relevant in big cities, where the speed of life and the flow of information do not allow one to look around and pay attention to the significant problems of others.
The indifference of people is not the only negative side of modern life. The loss of spiritual qualities is accompanied by anger, hatred, irritation, swearing, fights, and intrigues. Mutual respect and understanding are lost, both between strangers and close people.
Indifference is something that was not inherent in Soviet society. We were taught to do good deeds from childhood. Being a pioneer meant helping those in need and protecting the weak. Now everyone is responsible for themselves, trying to isolate themselves from social problems.
An indifferent and indifferent person can be identified by the following characteristics:
- apathy;
- indifference to surrounding people, events, phenomena;
- lack of aspirations, goals;
- prostration;
- detachment.
Human indifference is manifested not by the stinginess of positive or negative emotions, but by their total absence.
Unlike indifferent people who shield themselves from current events, empaths are capable of conscious empathy for the psychological state of another person.
Complete indifference does not arise immediately. It is necessary to go through several stages. A person becomes indifferent to:
- Representatives of the animal world, other living beings. There is no pity or desire to help them.
- Strangers and strangers. They do not evoke compassion even in very difficult situations.
- Superficial acquaintances, including colleagues and neighbors.
- Buddies, friends.
- Close people, family.
- Own person.
At the last stage, indifference acts as a psychological defense.
Examples from fiction
- N.V. Gogol "The Overcoat" .
In the story by N.V. Gogol's "The Overcoat" depicts a society that does not care about such a person as Akaki Akakievich Bashmachkin. He worked in the State Department and held a very low position, so insignificant that no one respected him. In the hope of changing his life, Akaki Akakievich began saving money for a new overcoat. It seemed to him that with her he would achieve universal respect. In order to fulfill his dream, the main character gave up literally everything, even stopped lighting candles in the evenings. And when, finally, his wish came true, they really paid attention to him.
The news that Bashmachkin had a new overcoat instantly spread throughout the department. Everyone came running to look at the unexpected new thing, and one of the officials even invited Akaki Akakievich to visit. The main character could not deny himself the pleasure of once again showing off his chic overcoat in front of everyone, so he accepted the offer. This evening he was truly happy for the first time. They noticed him, communicated with him as equals, smiled at him and asked his opinion. Bashmachkin could not even imagine that he would ever see such a day. However, the happiness did not last long; on the way home, robbers attacked him and took away his hard-won overcoat.
In desperation, Akaki Akakievich asked for help, but no one cared about his problem. No one even wanted to simply support him, much less help him. People just laughed at poor Bashmachkin’s misfortune; they could not understand that for him it was not just a thing, but the only hope for a bright future. The terrible mental shock and human indifference affected the health of the protagonist, and after a short time he died of a fever. It was the indifference of those around him that caused his death.
- I.A. Bunin "Mr. from San Francisco" .
The main character of the story I.A. Bunin's "Mr. from San Francisco" all his life he thought only about his own well-being, lived only for himself and was indifferent to the fate of those around him. He did not devote any time to his family, did not care about her, and did not raise his own daughter. He remembered about them only when he earned enough money and decided to take a well-deserved rest. However, because of his indifference, his wife and daughter also stopped being responsive and caring. There is no love left in their hearts for the main character of the story, because wealth will not replace the lost attention and necessary support. Therefore, their trip on the Atlantis can hardly be called a family vacation, everyone was busy only with themselves, they didn’t even have anything to talk about.
All the consequences of selfishness can be seen after the death of the gentleman from San Francisco, his indifference turned against himself. When he died, everyone reacted as if nothing terrible had happened. The body was placed in a lemonade box, and then completely lowered into the hold so as not to disturb public peace. There he continued his journey, forgotten by everyone and no one needed. On the upper deck the fun did not stop, music played, and dancing continued. No one cared that a person had passed away. Now that the wealthy tip-giving passenger had passed away, there was no need to be polite and respectful. From that time on, he became nothing more than a cause of inconvenience for everyone around him, including his family.
- G.H. Andersen "The Little Match Girl" .
In the fairy tale by G.Kh. Anderson shows what human indifference can lead to. The events described take place on New Year's Eve. None of the passersby, hurrying to eat the festive table, were interested in why the little girl was wandering the snowy streets barefoot. But she simply had no other choice, she didn’t sell a single match and she couldn’t go home, otherwise her father would punish her. Moreover, it was also cold at home, because they lived in the attic.
The girl needed little to be happy; she dreamed of such simple things as a warm home, a delicious dinner and a New Year tree. There was no one to take care of her, only her mother and grandmother loved her, but they were no longer alive. In the little girl’s soul there was only coldness and emptiness; she was surrounded by complete indifference. She was all alone. No one bought matches, no one invited her to warm up in their house, no one even helped her just get up when she fell, exhausted.
G.H. Andersen wanted to show in this tale what human indifference can lead to. The girl died on the street; she burned almost all her matches trying to stay warm. Her little body was illuminated by the New Year's sun, and people saw a frozen smile on her face. The last thing the girl saw was her grandmother, who took her with her - to a place where there is no hunger, cold and fear.
- M.Yu. Lermontov "Hero of Our Time" .
The main character of the novel M.Yu. Lermontov's “Hero of Our Time” is indifferent towards all the people around him, he is indifferent to the fate of everyone who meets on his way. He thinks only about himself and does not perceive the moral values of society. Grigory Pechorin can be safely called an egoist and an individualist. He puts himself above everyone else and cannot trust anyone.
Pechorin indifferently destroys other people's destinies, trying to fill his life with meaning. For example, he killed Bela by acting rashly. Gregory succumbed to his feelings, but as a result he never found happiness. As soon as he achieved the love of an unapproachable girl, he immediately lost interest in her. Her company bored him, and he began to appear at home less often, which is why he was not there when he was needed.
Another example of Pechorin’s selfishness is the sad fate of a blind old woman and a little boy, who were deprived of the means necessary for their existence due to his fault. For fun, he forced the smugglers to leave the city and they fled, leaving behind “extra cargo.”
The main character of the novel is a very contradictory nature: he condemns evil, but continues to commit it. The only thing he cares about is his personal desires. It was indifference that became the reason that Pechorin did not live, but existed.
Why do people become indifferent
People's indifference may be a consequence of:
- individual personality factors: selfish tendencies, when a person puts his own problems first and underestimates the difficulties of others;
- life events when a person in a difficult situation did not receive help from other people and now reciprocates;
- personal experience;
- mental disorders: psychopathy, mental retardation in the absence of development of certain parts of the brain;
- depression;
- long-term, uncontrolled treatment with medications;
- drug use;
- alcohol addiction.
The reason for indifference in many people is a lack of determination, a favorite activity, the loss of a loved one, loneliness.
It is better not to count on the help and support of inveterate egoists. They are completely indifferent to other people's misfortune and suffering. They also will not show sincere joy at happy events, even among friends and family.
Indifference as a defense
In some cases, indifference can be seen as a psychological defense. The reason for this condition is strong nervous tension associated with a stressful situation and negative emotions. The person becomes indifferent, indifferent, and does not want to do any business. It seems to him that any efforts to reduce the influence of stress factors are pointless.
This kind of indifference is the result of a protective reaction of the body. With a strong shock, psychic energy is consumed. After its completion, the nervous system needs to replenish the wasted energy, which is accompanied by inhibition processes. Otherwise, the person would be subject to nervous exhaustion, which threatens health. At the same time, this condition is unfavorable; every effort must be made to get out of it.
Indifference and alexithymia
Indifference may be a consequence of alexithymia - a psychological condition in which a person is incapable of recognizing and understanding his feelings, emotions, and experiences. Accordingly, he is not characterized by empathy, and understanding the psychological state of another person is inaccessible. He does not regret, does not empathize, does not sympathize due to objective reasons.
People suffering from alexithymia report that they cannot fully feel their emotional state. Feelings of anger and joy are equally insipid.
The negative condition can be congenital or acquired. If a person is born with alexithymia, it becomes noticeable in childhood.
Acquired alexithymia is a temporary condition. Her reasons:
- severe psychological trauma;
- stress;
- long-term depression;
- aggressive environment.
The appearance of indifference is often facilitated by parents who are not sufficiently familiar with child psychology. Every child needs warmth, attention and love. Otherwise, emotional problems cannot be avoided in the future. Children should not learn to hide their feelings, and their experiences should be taken seriously, despite their absurdity and unimportance for adults.
Is your friend too involved in your personal life?
It's normal for friends to be aware of some intimate details. But if a friend insists on giving him as many details as possible or tries to become a part of your personal relationship, this is not normal. Perhaps this person is jealous or wants to control you too much. If he doesn't respect your boundaries and decisions, and gets angry if you spend time away from him or with someone without him, that's a pretty worrisome sign.
Remember that true friendship takes time to develop. If a new friend insists that he needs to know everything about you right away so you can be closer, take a step back.
Scientific research into feelings of indifference
How to understand indifference has been studied by numerous psychologists and philosophers: Fabry, Rubinstein, Spinoza, etc.
Scientific research has revealed that indifference is comparable to apathy, emotional passivity, lack of purpose, lack of interesting activities, and decreased overall activity.
At the end of the twentieth century, N. Fetiskin and A. Chebykin found that lectures and lessons did not meet the expectations of students. Positive emotions replace boredom or fear of the teacher.
In the dictionary of Meshcheryakov and Zinchenko, indifference is called “emotional-motivational paralysis.”
Indifference has two forms. The first is characterized by depression and sadness against the backdrop of a lack of interest in current events surrounding people. The second is disguised behind successful human activity.
Why is indifference dangerous?
There are several reasons why it is bad to be indifferent. This is, first of all, a negative moral aspect, indicating spiritual callousness and lack of empathy for one’s neighbor.
What does society's indifference to people lead to?
Life for an indifferent person quickly loses its attractiveness. In addition to reputational damage, loss of friends, social isolation, he dooms himself to complete loneliness.
You cannot count on the help of other people if you have not at one time supported them in a difficult situation and shown mercy. Evil, like good, always returns.
However, people cannot be left without support if their condition is associated with problems of a physical and psychological nature. They themselves need help.
The dangers of indifference in the family
Indifference in the family is dangerous for all household members.
It, along with inconsistency and aggression, can kill a child’s trust and sense of security in the world around him. Internal motivation will be absent. In addition, children imitate the behavior of their parents and may grow up to be callous people devoid of mercy.
If there is mutual indifference or indifference of one spouse to the other, full-fledged family relationships are impossible. A person is not interested in the second partner: his location and occupation, well-being, state of mind. Feelings, including physical attraction, are absent.
In such situations, a frank conversation or the help of a psychologist can help.
How to deal with indifference
Initially, the main thing is to realize your condition. Then you need to:
- Concentrate on positive moments, think about them, and remember them in difficult situations.
- Devote time to friends more often, take an interest in their lives, attend cultural events.
- Maintain an active lifestyle, normalize your diet, get proper rest, and get enough sleep.
- Find hobbies.
- Gain new knowledge and change jobs if necessary.
- Become a volunteer.
Cute pets will not leave even the most hard-hearted people indifferent.
If none of the methods help, you need to consult a psychologist.
