Why men cheat on their wives but don’t leave them, reasons and psychology why husbands have mistresses

Cheating exists, it's not a myth. Moreover, betrayal can happen to anyone. Like the flu. No matter how much you harden yourself, no matter how much you take vitamins, there is always a risk. There are also a lot of reasons for cheating. You will learn about them from other articles on this site (links are at the end of the article).

When cheating happens in a couple, life is divided into “before” and “after”. After betrayal, everything is different. But that’s not about that now. Today we will touch on the stage “before” betrayal. How does it start? What factors influence a man's decision to cheat? Does this moment even exist - the moment of deciding to betray?

Of course, not everyone changes.

The wife deprives her husband of a sense of fulfillment and self-sufficiency

In our society, many men do not feel self-sufficient always and everywhere.
At the beginning of a family relationship, the husband’s inner emptiness is covered by his wife. They think they will love each other forever.

For him, a wife is a woman who will always be with him.

Now he feels self-sufficient and safe.

In your family, you yourself can deprive each other of what you then begin to look for in other people:

A wife may begin to deprive her husband of a sense of self-sufficiency and confidence during frequent scandals, domestic problems or misunderstandings. This happens when spouses have been together for a very long time.
Time passes, the wife no longer gives the love that she gave before. And the husband looks for her in the arms of his mistress.
The wife no longer gives this feeling of fullness and harmony , the husband begins to look for this feeling on the side.

If all this exactly happens in your relationship, then that is why a married man will have a mistress.

This is a problem not only for the wife, but also for the husband. He had to increase his level of awareness, work on himself and be self-sufficient on his own, without relying on external factors.

Genetic causes of male infidelity

According to scientists' research, the centers responsible for attraction, desire and moral attachment work autonomously. At the same time, some people tend to change partners for pleasure more often than others. From a scientific point of view, this is explained by the activation of the dopamine D4 receptor in the body.

The second is the work of instincts. They require variety to increase the likelihood of conceiving an heir. The most interesting thing is that in the process of evolution, men and women have developed different requirements for procreation. If “more” dominates in the stronger sex, then “better” is more important for the fair sex.

He found a lover who is just cool to be with

With his wife, the husband often does not feel cool. With my wife it’s a family, it’s love, an idyll and children.

And there is another girl who is cool!

Let's explore in more detail the question of why men have mistresses and the psychology of their thinking, why they secretly spend time with them:

The mistress helps her husband mentally escape from family and everyday problems.
He has a mistress with whom he wants intimacy and who turns him on very much.
He gets himself a girl who delights him.
A mistress gives those new emotions and sensations that a wife does not give.
He can talk about things with this new woman that he can never talk to with his wife.

Bad relationship with spouse7

As spouses get used to each other, they become less and less restrained in quarrels. Often a wife, who is tired of everyday life and children, and also has to work at the same time, takes out her anger on her husband. At the same time, he not only insults and breaks dishes, but also calls him names, trying to hurt him as much as possible. This begins to put pressure on a man’s self-esteem, and he seeks a relationship in which he will be appreciated. Most often this only brings temporary relief. As soon as the mistress feels more confident, she immediately begins to behave in a similar way, but not always.

The husband is polygamous and previously lived in an open relationship

On the topic of what his psychology is and why men cheat on girls, it would be correct to mention the following facts:

Your spouse cannot immediately suppress his instincts , if previously he gave them complete freedom. He can't stop looking at other women anymore.
No matter how much you feed the wolf, it still looks into the forest.
If a man is an alpha male in life, a hunter and a lover , then it will be difficult for him to suppress this in himself.
The guy wants to live according to his intentions and desires , but he cannot do this openly and cheats.

Therefore, he secretly makes cool mistresses, with whom it is cool and with whom he can temporarily forget about family life and all the problems that arise from it.

Is every man capable of change?

Theoretically, yes. In practice, not everyone needs dubious adventures; many value the stability and feelings of their spouse.

It is useless to re-educate the so-called “womanizers”. They consider it their duty to mark any territory and are promiscuous in their relationships, since for them the main thing is quantity, not quality. At the same time, they love comfort and return to the familiar atmosphere of the family with enviable consistency.

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The other category includes weak-willed people who are accustomed to being led. They quickly submit to a woman with a strong character, and things can come to the destruction of the official marriage.

She gives all her time to the child

If a child appears in your family, then the mother will spend a lot of time only with him at first.

How does a baby affect your sex life?:

These are constant screams at night that will not allow you to rest together.
This is caring for the baby, diapering, breastfeeding.
A woman after childbirth cannot make love.
Sometimes, when the baby sucks milk from the mother, some women find breastfeeding a lot of pleasure. And the wife no longer wants to spend time in bed with her husband.

Hence, as a rule, life in bed in your family fades into the background.

The husband finds no other way out than to extinguish his passion together with his mistress.

In this case, the psychology is that husbands cheat on their wives and want more at night, but they do not want to leave their family and child.

Why men cheat

Happiness needs fidelity, but misfortune can do without it.

Seneca

Why do men cheat?
I know that this question interests many women. He is mainly interested in those women who need a serious and long-term relationship with their beloved man, those who adhere to family values and consider betrayal an unforgivable act. And this is understandable, because for a normal relationship, the devotion and trust of partners to each other are of great importance. And betrayal is always pain, suffering and humiliation, and sometimes it is very difficult to survive. Therefore, women are not just concerned about the issue of male infidelity - they want to know how it can be solved. In this article I will explain why men cheat on their wives and what a woman can do to prevent cheating. Understanding the reasons for male infidelity and the ability to competently influence them will help many of you, dear women, build a reliable relationship with your beloved man or improve existing ones. First of all, I want to draw your attention, dear readers, to the fact that not all men cheat on their women, despite their polygamous nature. And not only because they cannot do this, as some representatives of the fairer sex believe, who see all men as potential traitors, but also because of their convictions. Unfortunately, there are not very many such men, but they exist, and you should know about it. After all, male infidelity can have a lot of reasons with the help of which it is possible, in some cases, to justify, and in others to explain this act. But if a man himself does not consider cheating an acceptable act for himself, he will not cheat on the woman he loves and respects. But what kind of man is next to a woman depends on her.

True, in life there are much more often men who can cheat on their woman if they have a reason or reason for cheating. Below I will talk about the main reasons why men cheat, and you, dear women, be sure to think about how exactly your behavior can contribute to male infidelity. First of all, you really need to exclude your own mistakes, because of which a man could cheat on you, and only then look for opportunities to influence him, if at all possible. Keep in mind that there are some men whom you will never change - they have cheated, are cheating and will cheat on all the women with whom they begin to live. And if your man is just like that, then you can only come to terms with his infidelities, or leave him. And there are men who cheat on their woman largely through her own fault. In this case, a woman should pay attention to herself and her actions, her behavior with a man, her attitude towards him. And then, correct all those shortcomings that push her man to cheat. If, of course, the man is dear to her, and she wants him to be faithful to her. So, carefully study the reasons for male infidelity described below and then compare them with what was or is in your life.

Reasons for male infidelity

1. Tendency to cheat . A man's tendency to cheat depends on his upbringing. As I said above, there are men who cannot help but cheat, since cheating is part of their life for them. They change not only because they can change, but also because they want to do so. Communicating with such men, I realized that they cannot even imagine life without relationships with different women. Therefore, trying to instill in them other values is, if not absolutely pointless, then at least very difficult. You can, of course, talk about male nature, about male polygamy, which pushes him to betrayal, and we will talk about this below, but still upbringing in this case plays a very important role. By nature, we are inclined to different actions, but this does not mean that we need to do them all and then justify these actions with our natural essence. Therefore, it is appropriate to say that there are men who love to constantly have love affairs with women, and such men appeared not thanks to nature, but thanks to upbringing. For them, love victories are a way of life. Women call such men womanizers, and it is not difficult to recognize them - such men pay too much attention to other women, they cannot help but do it. If a woman gets along with such a man, then she should not count on his loyalty to her. If she needs it. It is important to understand here that if a person has formed exactly such an attitude towards relationships with the opposite sex and towards life in general, then it is practically impossible to change this person, at least without his own desire, or without urgent need. After all, people usually live the way it is convenient for them, and not the way they supposedly should, especially for someone else. Therefore, many womanizers have no desire to give up pleasure and live the life they want. Therefore, either do not get along with such men if they do not suit you, or do not demand from them what they cannot give you. But they can’t because they don’t want to. Remember that a scorpion stings because it is a scorpion, that is its nature. And male nature forces him to show attention to other women, like a male to females. And upbringing corresponding to this nature can cement in him an unshakable tendency to betray. This is when a man is taught from childhood that having many women is an achievement and a feat, that real men conquer different women, and are not content with just one. Therefore, the more women a man had and has, the better, the higher his value. Moreover, this is not only a man’s point of view, but women themselves can think so. Therefore, for some of them, male polygamy is the norm, since it is an integral biological quality of the stronger sex. A man with such convictions will not want to limit himself in his desires.

2. The pursuit of pleasure . You know, I pay special attention to this point, because I believe that pacifying one’s desires and appetites for the sake of both one’s own and others’ good is characteristic of exclusively prudent people. All people in this life strive for pleasure, avoiding pain; this is a natural desire for us. But you can strive for pleasure in different ways - you can do this by respecting the interests and needs of other people, especially close, dear, loved ones, or you can be a terrible egoist and think only about yourself. Now, when a man does not value the interests, feelings, needs and desires of his woman, his wife, thinking only about himself, about his interests, desires and needs, he is a real egoist, the desire for pleasure of which pushes him not only to cheat, but also to many other actions unacceptable for a woman. For example, to disorderly spending of money, to excessive drinking, to gambling, and so on. Many women who live with such men and with whom I had the opportunity to work said that their husband had become selfish. That is, you see, from their point of view, he was not one when they met, but became an egoist after some time. This really happens, for a number of reasons, I will not deny it. Too good a life relaxes a man, and he begins to allow himself a lot. But very often an overly selfish man can be recognized at the initial stage of getting to know him. You just need to pay attention to all sorts of little things in his behavior. And then it will be possible to see whether he is an egoist or not. Or rather, what kind of egoist he is - terrible or moderate. If you see that he is all for himself, everything for himself, everything for himself, that he often forgets about your interests and you have to constantly ask him for something, but he himself cannot guess about your needs - draw conclusions. Even by such seemingly distant things from relationships as frequent car changes, when a man constantly strives to buy himself a new, modern car, you can understand what his nature is. And it’s not about money, it’s about the desire for something new, better, which can be too reckless, indicating a person’s inability to appreciate what he already has. In itself, the desire for something new and better is a correct desire, but the form of this desire can be different. If, say, having a good, working car, a man exchanges it for a new one without any apparent need, seeking pleasure like a child, then why can’t he do the same with his woman, cheating on her for the same pleasure? You see, dear women, the maturity of the mind is determined, among other things, by a person’s ability to control his desires. Selfishness, in its unsightly form, is inherent in children, that is, in the immature mind. Children are also drawn to pleasure, without realizing where such a desire can lead them, and if they are not limited, they can, first of all, harm themselves. Only an adult, a man, must be able and want to limit himself, for the sake of a normal, stable life, for the sake of happiness with his woman. If he doesn’t do this, you shouldn’t be surprised at his betrayal and betrayal. There is little demand from children.

3. The desire to diversify your sex life . This desire is inherent in many people of both sexes. The only question is how strongly it manifests itself and in what form. Over time, everything becomes boring, this is understandable, but to maintain interest in life, in sex, in the opposite sex, in your woman or in your man, some kind of variety is necessary. A man especially needs this, because his masculine nature cannot accept monotony in sexual relationships. The Coolidge effect just describes the theory of polygamy in males; read about it to understand what needs are inherent in male nature. Therefore, a woman either needs to add some variety to her sexual life, or there is a high probability that a man will look for this variety on the side. In principle, if you approach this issue with imagination and enthusiasm, then you can diversify sexual relationships very well, and in such a way that it will be interesting and will bring great pleasure not only to the man, but also to the woman. There are many ways to diversify your sex life. So you can study them and take advantage of them.

4. Dissatisfaction . In part, this point is a continuation of the previous one, only in this case, a man’s sexual dissatisfaction can be associated not only with a lack of variety in sex, but also with its insufficient quantity and low quality. Also, a man’s sexual dissatisfaction can be affected by the simplicity of sexual relations, without, so to speak, sexual fantasies, which have long become the norm for our depraved society. These fantasies, in fact, there is nothing wrong with them, it is a kind of highlight in sex that affects its quality. It must be present in the relationship between a man and a woman, so that they are interested in each other and so that they are attracted to each other. Therefore, if there is little sex in a man’s life or it is not of sufficient quality, he may well be pulled to the left. But this is a fixable matter, unless it is a problem for the woman herself.

5. Lack of emotional intimacy . Sex is sex, but we are still people, not animals, so in addition to animal instinctual needs, we also have human spiritual needs, including spiritual intimacy with a loved one. From work experience, I can say that there are not many men who feel dissatisfied with their relationship with a woman due to the lack of spiritual intimacy with her, and therefore cheat on her. But they exist, so a woman must take this male need into account. In general, a woman who loves her man usually does not have problems with spiritual intimacy with him. Nevertheless, more attention should be paid to this point. Rare men who value a woman’s spiritual qualities are valuable in their own way, but they also have unique needs. Don’t forget to satisfy them and then such a man will simply have no reason to cheat on you.

6. The desire to assert oneself . This is also a very common reason why men cheat. This desire arises mainly among men with complexes and lacking self-confidence. Having no idea of themselves, they want to fill the inner emptiness with insignificant external achievements, seeing this as their only opportunity to become more significant, primarily in their own eyes, as people. But there are also men who do this out of conviction and even with a certain degree of aggressiveness, since they are confident that self-affirmation through numerous sexual victories is a manifestation of a man’s strong qualities. A man’s self-doubt and his complexes can be dealt with; a woman can do this herself, with the help of the right attitude towards her man, or by turning to a specialist who will tell her what and how to do. But with the beliefs that a man holds about sexual victories, with the help of which he asserts himself, things are more complicated. Here it is already necessary to change a man’s worldview, instill in him new values, and show him life from the other side. Not every specialist can do this. However, if a man himself recognizes the need to change his behavior, for the sake of his woman, for the sake of his family, for the sake of happiness, he can be helped.

7. Dissatisfaction with your life . Some men may decide to cheat due to dissatisfaction with their lives. In this case, a woman may have nothing to do with the behavior of a man, who, according to a number of other criteria, may rate the quality of his life very low. Hence, he has a need to improve it with the help of new sensations, new acquaintances, new relationships, new adventures. This is not a common case, but it is quite interesting, primarily because such a man can treat his woman very well, but still cheat on her. For such a man to stop cheating on his woman, his wife and generally stop being dissatisfied with his life, he needs to rethink a lot. In this case, the woman should advise her man to change, for example, his job if he doesn’t like it, or his place of residence if it’s terrible, in order to improve his quality of life and at the same time his own life. Then the man will not need betrayal as a means of consolation. However, if the situation is difficult, if he explains a man’s dissatisfaction with his life by dissatisfaction with his relationship with his woman, thus shifting responsibility for his, primarily internal, problems onto her, then it is necessary to understand this issue more thoroughly. After all, the same midlife crisis can affect a man’s vision of his life in extremely gloomy tones, which will not correspond to reality, but will nevertheless have a very strong impact on his behavior. And if a man is not able to clearly formulate his thoughts, explaining his dissatisfaction with a relationship with a woman - he cannot explain what exactly he does not like, what does not suit him, what he lacks in this relationship - it is better to drag him to a psychologist, by any means. Otherwise, such dissatisfaction may begin to manifest itself not only in betrayal, but also in other wrong and thoughtless actions.

8. Revenge . If there were actions in a woman’s life that caused great offense to her man, if she herself was unfaithful to him, then the likelihood that he will cheat on her out of revenge is quite high. But this can be avoided, or you can make sure that a man’s betrayal does not happen again because of this reason, and for this you need to start treating him very well, showing him your love and respect, and showing that you value him very highly, like a man. It is important that a man feels like a man, and not a rag on which to wipe his feet. Show him that you cheated on him by mistake, and not because another man was better than him. In this way, you can dissolve the resentment that has lodged in him, and then the desire to change in order to take revenge will disappear. In general, dear women, try not to make mistakes that could negatively affect your life, and in particular, your relationship with your man. I understand that this sounds somewhat banal, but you know, when a person often thinks about this - about the consequences of his actions, he begins to take them into account. Therefore, I believe that every woman needs to think more often about what this or that action will lead to before committing it. You just need to accustom yourself to this. Then you will not do anything for which your man will want to take revenge on you, including through betrayal.

9. Boredom . Sometimes a man simply becomes bored and uninterested with his woman, as a result of which he begins to be drawn to adventures on the side. This is one of the most common reasons for male infidelity, but I nevertheless believe that it originates from upbringing. Yes, living with one woman who, for example, is not interested in what a man is interested in, and also takes care of children all day long without paying enough attention to him, can become boring over time. But I can say with complete confidence that any life becomes boring over time, and making it interesting at the expense of causing pain to another person, I think, is unacceptable for a serious, cultured, educated person. In my understanding, boredom is not a reason to cheat, it is a reason to cheat. And if a man uses this reason to improve his life, but at the same time making it worse for his woman, this speaks of his low moral and spiritual qualities. If a woman is ready to put up with this, she can close her eyes to it; if not, she should think about a more worthy life partner.

10. Weakness . A man’s weak character, because of which he follows everyone’s lead, may be the reason that another woman will seduce him and he will decide to cheat. And if his woman, his wife, constantly pushes him around, having complete power over him, then he will cheat on her without any regret. Such weak men, of course, are disgusting, but often women themselves make their men like this, driving them under their thumbs. Those women who want to dominate their men go against the laws of nature. They kill the man in their men. On the one hand, this allows a woman to gain power over her man and achieve obedience from him, but on the other hand, she gets either an extremely homely man, practically incapable of anything serious, or complete squalor, the power over which can be seized by any more or less active woman. Therefore, I believe, I am simply convinced of this, that for a normal relationship, a man should remain a man, and a woman a woman. I understand that life today dictates its own rules, when a woman needs to take on male responsibilities - to support herself, her children and even her family, solve problems, and do other things for which a man is more suitable. It is difficult for such women to give leadership in the family to a man, especially to a man who does not even remotely resemble a leader. But there is no need to suppress such men. You can try to help them become normal men, there are such opportunities, but you don’t need to make a rag out of them and then wipe your feet on it. Today you wipe your feet on this rag, tomorrow another woman will do it, who will take this toy from you not without her, or rather his, consent. A weak man is greedy for everything, and so that he does not cheat, he needs to instill self-esteem so that he respects both himself and his woman, and does not allow anyone to interfere in his personal life, much less ruin it. And a depressed, humiliated, bullied man has no self-esteem - it is killed in him. He does not control external factors, they control him. Such a man can cheat, become an alcoholic, and do a lot of stupid things. And in general, there is not much benefit from such male individuals. So, dear women, think carefully before suppressing a man in a man, with the expectation that he will become a toy for you, which you can twist and twirl as you wish. Such a man, let’s say, can not only cheat on you, but also cause a lot of other troubles.

These, in fact, are all the main reasons for male infidelity that I most often encountered in my practice. We will talk about other reasons, less significant and less common, another time. For now, I think, these reasons are more than enough for every woman to be able to draw the right conclusions for herself regarding how she should and should not behave with her man, so that he does not have a desire to cheat on her. Also, a woman should think very carefully, and even better, consult with knowledgeable people about which man is best for her to connect her destiny with, taking into account her desires and plans for life. For not every man is capable of being what a woman wants to see in him.

In conclusion, I would like to say a little about what I see as the main problem of male infidelity and why it needs to be solved so that both the man and the woman feel good together, so that they are happy with each other. Everything, I believe, depends on people’s attitude towards life and what they want to get from it.

If a person professes family values, then this is one thing, but if a person professes free love and a lifestyle free from any obligations, then this is another. Each person has his own desires and goals in life. And, I believe, everyone needs to act based on these very desires and goals, without deceiving themselves and other people. If a man cannot or does not want to live a family life, which implies taking on certain responsibilities and obligations, then he does not need to get married, have children, and then run to the left, thus creating certain problems for his family. After all, not every woman can put up with this. There is no need to ruin the lives of other people, because you can live the way you want, with those who share your views on life. And a woman should also understand that there is no need to get along with a man who is not only incapable of being faithful to his loved one, his beloved woman, but also to live a family life in general. Well, some men are not suitable for this, whatever one may say.

And in general, we all need to remember that we are driven not only by our instincts, but also by our minds. Therefore, we need to learn to pacify our selfishness and not follow the lead of some of our desires, so as not to cause pain to other people, especially the people we love and care about, who trust us. So, if a man can cheat, this does not mean that he needs to do it. If he has a good, loving, respectful woman next to him, then by cheating on her, I think he is cheating on himself. He betrays not only her, but also himself and his happiness!

Everything is bad in bed, dissatisfaction

Some women are not yet fully aware of their femininity and attractiveness.

Your marital games in bed may not satisfy your partner.

Not all women are skilled in bed for the following reasons::

The wife is very young and not so experienced .
Some girls are very uptight and do not know how to express their passion and love at night.
Lack of education and limitations in knowledge.
Not all wives want to accept their men's fantasies . A man by nature loves to make his extreme fantasies come true. Some people completely refuse to experiment.

If a man has tried this and that, but it doesn’t change or add variety in bed, out of desperation he may find himself a mistress.

Or even just find a walking girl for one night.

After all, if a wife is very bad in bed , a man can find a girl who is simply better in many ways.

The husband can find that girl on the side who makes him just blow his mind in bed. He will secretly admire her and not tell you.

About a different smell

Not all men know that the wife always recognizes the smell of another woman . Even if her husband took a shower or put on perfume, she intuitively understands and feels everything. The man suspects nothing, but the woman digs into her head and keeps wondering: “Why do guys cheat on their girls?”

And the husband may still naively believe that everything is under control and he is in control of the situation. He does not even suspect that his wife recognized the smell of another.

Tendency to cheat by zodiac sign

It is impossible to accurately calculate how much a person is capable of changing depending on his date of birth. Depending on the circumstances, anyone is capable of deception. But you can make assumptions based on the character traits of a certain zodiac sign, and identify possible reasons for betrayal:

Aries are not fans of adventures on the side, if there are enough of them in family life. This energetic sign needs a strong partner in an official relationship, otherwise a passion for someone bright and interesting can happen on the side. Aries spends a long time comparing a legitimate object with an unstudied one, and it is better if the comparison is in favor of the first.
Infidelity is not in the nature of Taurus. Due to their earthly sign, such people are capable of committing treason for the sake of any material benefits or in the case of bad official relations. In a good marriage, Taurus avoid unnecessary affairs, giving preference to family values.
Geminis cannot be described as a permanent sign due to their changeable nature, hot temperament and love of adventure. Owners of this sign are extremely sociable and will rarely refuse the opportunity to flirt, but only resentment and a desire for revenge can serve as a serious reason for betrayal.
Leos are distinguished by their devotion and desire to create a family. However, if this does not work out, Leo can have several partners at once. This royal sign is particularly charismatic and masculine, so the basis for betrayal can be a lack of attention in official relationships. Leo is also very demanding: if he does not see a strong, feminine and faithful half nearby who would meet all his conditions, he is unlikely to settle on one partner.
Virgo rarely cheats, because she respects herself and her choice of partner. However, if the other half is systematically upsetting and disappointing, there is a chance that the virgin will find solace on the side.
Libras are romantics and more often dream about something than actually implement it. The main danger in relationships with Libras is misunderstanding, which significantly distances them from their partner.
Scorpios usually maintain marital fidelity, despite all their sexuality. Everything here is determined by the presence of feelings. If a Scorpio really loves, there is nothing to fear. Serious reasons for concern are lies, since Scorpio does not accept this, as well as the lack of mutual understanding, close spiritual and physical connection.
Sagittarius is not constancy, since he is a fan of the “extreme” and a lover of new experiences. Therefore, this sign needs a person who can always surprise him. And, of course, Sagittarius will not tolerate restrictions in his freedom.
Capricorns are practical, hardworking, and rarely cheat. For example, if we are talking about benefits. However, in a family with Capricorn, differences may begin if the spouses do not have a common goal, or Capricorn is not satisfied with the material wealth of the other half. This problem is always fixable.
Aquarians are stable and do not like changes in relationships. However, they also want something new from time to time. If the other half completely ceases to suit the Aquarius, this will most likely lead to a complete break.
Pisces: the zodiac sign that will not cheat without love. Pisces do not tend to cheat physically - more often this happens emotionally, in the form of communication with someone, if the main relationship leaves much to be desired. This sign is prone to retreating into its own imaginary world, and is able to be content with only signs of attention from the opposite sex, not necessarily leading to betrayal.

Because of the perception “You can change as long as no one finds out”

Because of television and the mass media, the idea that married men are obliged to cheat is implanted in the brain of a young man from birth.

Guys cheat, even though they love their girlfriend, because for them it is considered the norm and a common occurrence, as if in the order of things.

In some families, wives directly make it clear to their partner: “ If you are cheating on me, do it so that I don’t find out .”

They actually voice it and say it, and the spouse remembers and draws conclusions.

Of course, later the wife will regret what she said if the betrayal comes to light.

Guys cheat because they have the opportunity3

Well, and also the so-called mindset. Is it possible to have complaints against a man if nature prevents him from thinking sensibly? Various hormones in a guy’s body turn off thinking. Some of them purposefully commit adultery, and then it turns out that it was not sexual intercourse out of great love, but simply a physiological need. Well, one more important note.

If it were not for the thirst for quick enrichment of some women, there would be no houses of pleasure. But they exist. And therefore, male hormones can “rage” and disrupt male thinking. Oh, damn, it turns out that women are to blame again.

Finally, one more addition. The vast majority of women associate sex with love. They can love a scoundrel, a boor, and sometimes even a sadist, but the main thing is that he does not cheat. Something is wrong here. A man can give love and at the same time take a leap to the side. This doesn't change anything about his love. And if he loves a woman, then he only makes love with her. And with the rest he simply mates.

But don't be nervous! This is only from a male point of view.

To create jealousy or for revenge

Some men are very jealous. They may be motivated by selfish motives for cheating.

That is, even because of a simple feeling of envy or a feeling of inferiority, the husband wants to make his wife jealous.

Another reason could be that the wife spent time with the wrong people or cheated on him at some point.

Then the man will want to fill the hole in his self-esteem and stroke his pride on the side, taking revenge on his wife.

For example, he sees his wife communicating and flirting with other men at some holiday.

Her husband is often jealous of all men in a row.

He remembers all this and is looking for a mistress so that now they will be jealous of him .

Divorce is too complicated

Many men surveyed by sociologists realize that their marital relationships have outlived their usefulness. There are no former feelings, passion, interest. It would seem that we need to separate and go our separate ways. But the process of ending a relationship, especially if it lasted several years, is too complicated. A lot of moral, financial and legal problems arise. This may result in one spouse having limited communication with their children.

Or he will have to lose a considerable share of his property. Also, members of the male population may worry about the reputation they will have after leaving the relationship. At the same time, the prospect of being caught with a mistress somehow scares them less. It is much easier for men to periodically date a “left” girl and maintain their current relationship than to deal with the consequences of their breakup.

The opinion of one of the survey participants, Victor, on this topic:

“I lived with my wife for almost twenty years. We had an ordinary relationship. Children, home, work. Now I feel that she has begun to move away from me. She has developed her own interests, she is not very willing to communicate with me about her affairs. We don't have dinner together. Of course it's unpleasant. But where to go? I can't leave my family. While my feelings for my wife have weakened, I still love my children very much.

Divorce may make it impossible for me to communicate with them as freely as I do now. I do not need it. Sometimes we meet with our mistress and just sleep. I keep her at a distance, she doesn’t pretend to anything, because she’s in approximately the same situation. All my risks are reflected in her. But I don’t plan to leave my wife; this will significantly affect the lives of our children. I don't want them to think I abandoned them."

Male patriarchy

Subconsciously, a man has this belief: “ I can do this with whoever I want, but a girl can’t .” Maybe for girls this will be a shocking answer to the question of why men cheat. But this is how our society works.

That is, in this case, the husband puts his interests above his wife and allows himself to go to the left.

The man thinks that he has some privileges because of the patriarchy in the family.

Also, the reason for the betrayal may be that in childhood the husband’s father also cheated on his wife.

Now an adult repeats the mistakes of his parents.

Communication Compensation

I meet men who want attention, warmth, love, to be seen as a man, a person, and not just a father and husband who must buy groceries according to the list and pick up the children on a schedule and screw in the light bulb.

Of course this is important! But at least once listen carefully to your man. Just listen to how it was on the first dates. Even if you think you know everything about him, he has something going on every day.

Even if he says something absurd or nonsense, let him say it, don’t comment harshly, don’t criticize, don’t devalue him. Everyone has the right to fool around.

Sometimes it's a way to get your attention. Ask your man what would he like? What is he missing? If he found something in another woman, then it is not in you or you have stopped giving it to him. Often this can be a banal feeling of being a person who is interesting to a woman.

A person who is admired, thanked, so much so that “it would not have been possible without him.” A person who is listened to with an open mouth.

The task of each of us is to look at the object of a man’s passion and ask the question what is it about her that captivates her.

Honestly admit to yourself, “Am I giving this?” and ask yourself, “How can I give what another woman is passionate about?” It's important to understand: you can too. And you have more advantages than the other, since you also know your man. They just stopped showing it.

Here you need to return to the state in which you gave your man what he needed (otherwise he would not be with you).

Remember the period when you first met. This is not only an external manifestation, it is your internal state, it is energy that is realized from the inside out.

Selfish motives

The desire to prove to myself and friends “what a cool lover I am”

The reasons for a husband’s infidelity may be the following selfish motives:

Stretch your ego, feel superior . Read more about ego and selfishness in detail on the next page at the link.
Satisfy your libido.
From early childhood there was a lack of female attention. And now, when the man learned that attention could always be had, all he had to do was do something, the man ventures into the unknown.
Because of the desire to assert himself in front of his friends , to gain their approval, so that they would tell him: “Wow! Probably fried?! Wow, man!
He wants to prove to himself that he is capable of possessing other women. After all, this had never been possible for him before.
My husband's friends are bachelors and they always have something to tell about their adventures. The husband also decided that it was time to show off something and went to the left. That is, the reason is to brag to friends.

Adultery

This is a violation of fidelity in marriage, and therefore a violation of the obligations that are imposed upon marriage. But opinions differ on this matter, since the concepts of infidelity and its admissibility in marriage differ.

Statistics show: 90% of Russian marriages break up due to infidelity. This puts Russia on a par with the leading countries in adultery.

Despite the fact that women have made significant progress in having extramarital affairs (41%), men still lead in the number of affairs (59%).

The woman stopped caring and taking care of herself

Because the husband has already conquered his wife and won her heart. Now there is no one to conquer.

The wife relaxes, and this is what happens to her:

Years later, the wife stops watching her figure; she is already satisfied with her fat belly.
Now she doesn't dress as nicely as before, she wears a kitchen robe and has curlers in her hair.
The sparkle in her eyes, zest and femininity disappeared.
A woman is no longer attractive.

If all this happens, then it is not surprising that the hot beauty from work replaced the wife in bed.

Of course, a woman does not have to always be beautiful, but she must be conscious and confident, radiate love.

We describe in more detail how a woman can become more confident in herself in the next publication.

How not to give reasons for cheating

There is no panacea for adultery. A few tips will help keep your relationship interesting and new.

Take care of your appearance, be attractive at home and away.
Respect the boundaries of personal space, respect the opinion of your partner.
Develop to share impressions and find new points of contact with your loved one.
Do not be afraid of experiments in all areas, including cooking and intimate life.
Restrain emotions in critical situations.
Create comfort and take care of your husband, corresponding to the image of the keeper of the hearth.

By alcoholic accident

There is one expression that sounds like “saw the night, walked all night until the morning.”

And if men walked all night until the morning with alcohol and surrounded by beautiful women , then a drunk husband by the end of the evening may forget about his wife.

After all, there is an appetizing beauty sitting on it and there is plenty of alcohol around. Then the man cheats because the male gaze sees only girls with a good figure next to him, who also don’t breathe very smoothly towards him.

Because of alcohol, he forgets about the one and only.

He no longer has much control over his speech and actions.

Cheating occurs unconsciously.

This happens both in clubs and at noisy parties, holidays and other drunken places.

Is it possible to save a relationship after my husband cheats?

It is possible to maintain a normal relationship after your husband’s betrayal only if he is able to convince you that this will not happen again and you forgive him.

How to behave after you decide to stay in a relationship

If you have forgiven your husband for cheating, it is important for you to save your family, then try to adhere to some conditions:

The husband must understand that the wife will not tolerate a second betrayal;
There is no need to take revenge on him. It will not be possible to save the relationship in this way; most likely, it will completely destroy the family;
You should not seek solace in alcohol;
You have forgiven your husband and there is no need to remember the betrayal.

After cheating, a woman needs to take care of her psycho-emotional state:

Forget the grudge;
Don’t complain about your husband to your family and friends, this will only remind you of what happened;
Try to understand what prompted your husband to cheat and try to compensate for what the husband lacked in the relationship;
Don't make scandals.

Video from the guru

The following video examines the dilemma of why a husband cheats and does not leave the family and his wife. In his opinion, this is due to a lack of love. Learn about all the pitfalls in this video.

What is a relationship between a guy and a girl without quarrels in complete mutual understanding and trust, how to solve grinding - in a new article.
What kind of women do Scorpio men like - complete and detailed revelations from Scorpios.
Video lessons on how to properly tongue kiss a girl and a guy - step-by-step and cool instructions.

Convenience, comfort and well-established life

Men in marriage become a little lazy and relaxed. They get used to the comfort and coziness that their women create. You don’t need to be macho with your wife, she loves you that way. Maybe he doesn’t like it, but he cooks borscht and washes shirts. The lover of one of my clients told her this about his wife: “Yes, we never had any special feelings. But living together is convenient in terms of everyday life. It’s like she’s with her husband, and it’s good for me - there’s always something to eat...” As you can imagine, in the end this man ended up with his wife.

It is generally accepted that a wife is a reliable support, friend, adviser, housewife and mother. The family mechanism is perfectly organized. Perhaps it sounds a little pretentious and banal.

And yet, in many cases this is true - after all, “husband and wife are one Satan,” and they have already “eaten a pound of salt together,” and this, after all, brings us closer together. Often the wife is the very person with whom you will go on reconnaissance, and this is a lot for a man.

And if a man decides to leave, then everything (relationships, everyday life, and trust) will have to be built anew, and this requires a colossal investment of resources - financial, time, emotional and physical.

More often than not, the game is simply not worth the candle.

Why doesn’t the husband say anything and stay in the family?

Let’s close once and for all the question of why men cheat on their wives but don’t leave them. The most common reasons are the following:

He doesn't need all this fuss about dividing property.
He doesn't want to pay child support all his life if he has a child.
He doesn't want to go to court and fill out all this paperwork.
He doesn’t want to disrupt the family idyll.
The husband wants the child to grow up with his father.
He doesn't need quarrels and scandals.
He has a family home where there is security, harmony, food and sleep. Why break it?
It’s so good and cool for him when he can sleep with two girls.
He is satisfied with the current state of affairs.

How to find out if my husband is cheating on me

There are six signs by which it is determined that men are cheating on their women. But to judge objectively, you need to know the character and habits of your partner.

In addition, unfounded accusations or an obsessive desire to convict of infidelity are annoying and make you think about the prospect of infidelity, so before convicting, check whether the information is reliable:

Changes in attitudes towards work and friends. Numerous meetings have appeared that you cannot attend with a couple. There is no time left for a quiet evening together - constant extracurricular and unpaid work takes up both time and energy.
Technical innovations. Previously unknown numbers on the phone, a desire to hide the content of conversations, passwords that appear on the tablet, as well as late calls from unknown numbers are signs that a man is trying to hide information from a woman. But this sign alone is not enough, so do not rush to draw conclusions. What if they are preparing a surprise for you?
Changes in appearance, the desire to look respectable, careful selection of clothes or the purchase of a large number of new things. If such traits appear in a man who has not previously been noted to be scrupulous in relation to appearance, then we can assume possible betrayal.
Traces of someone else's girl. New accessories appeared in the car, lipstick appeared on a shirt or jacket. These are classic signs of infidelity. But here, too, you should be careful with accusations. Young people may occasionally give rides to colleagues, so it is important that these signs appear over a period of two or three weeks.
Changes in relationships. It doesn't matter whether it's irritation or violent passion. A change in behavior towards a long-time partner indicates new experiences, possibly of an intimate nature.
Sexual life and its quality. There may be a complete lack of desire or sudden passion. In the first case, what the mistress gives is enough for the man; in the second, he felt joy from the abundance of sexual activity.

But you should not think that one random sign will reveal betrayal, or assume that all men are capable of betrayal.

Psychologist's advice

When the situation is very painful, if the husband cheats but does not leave, you need to listen to the advice of a psychologist. He will definitely say that everything depends on the woman’s desire to save the family and ability to forgive. Basically, psychologists advise the following:

Calm down, take a break, live separately, decide on further actions. If you come to a firm decision to get a divorce, insist on a divorce.
Improve yourself - become stronger, better, more beautiful, sexier, more caring. Show in practice that you can be better than the one he traded for.
Take care of yourself. Go to a cosmetologist, to a beauty salon, buy new things. Visit a massage room, do yoga, swim, increase your self-esteem. Read Gary Chapman's book "The 5 Love Languages" for many tips.

Breakup is one of the ways to solve the problem.
No psychologist will give universal advice. When a wife decides to leave her husband, she needs to tell him about it and look at his reaction. If there is remorse in his eyes, then give the relationship a second chance. Not the third one. Be sure to warn your spouse about this.

But to prevent betrayal from happening, it is important to realize that a woman can be both a mistress and a wife at the same time. Playing several roles - and no betrayal will happen again. You will have to build the correct model of behavior for your mistress and delight your husband.

Uncertainty about feelings

Unlike women, men do not know how to use emotionality as a tool that helps them navigate a situation, make decisions, make assessments and draw conclusions.

Even if a man understands the difference between love, infatuation and passion, this is far from being an argument that can motivate a man to take specific actions. Love comes and goes, but the social and everyday situation remains.

I would say that many men are not so sure about the feelings themselves, but about their significance and value. Well, yes, feelings, but so what? How it will turn out is not clear.

It’s better without feelings, but it’s clear and stable.

It’s just not the time, the relationship has not yet outlived its usefulness

Don’t forget about the “crisis of 40”. This age crisis has several key challenges. One of them is to answer the question “Am I living with the right person?”

It is no coincidence that a wave of divorces occurs at this age - many single women have a chance to arrange their destiny with a divorcee. Such marriages are often successful - after all, they are concluded already in adulthood, taking into account all life lessons.

But until the crisis has arrived, it has not matured, it is unlikely that things will come to a divorce.

How to behave if your husband walks but does not leave

In such a situation, the wife needs moral support. She is at a loss and does not know what to do if her husband cheats, but does not leave. It would be easier if he left, but that doesn't happen.

Here are some tips:

Do not use emotions, manage them. Excessive resentment and anger lead to negative consequences. This is fraught with nervous breakdowns.
There is also no need to pretend that nothing bad happened. Otherwise, the woman gives a reason to continue doing this.
Do not seek meetings or telephone conversations with your mistress. She is fighting for her happiness, and here she can lose.
Do not take revenge with the same coin. This is unreasonable. If there is no forgiveness for the man, simply break off the relationship.
Do not tell relatives and friends about the incident, because if a rapprochement occurs, people will definitely remind you of it and judge you.
Do not involve children in proceedings. Do not manipulate a man with them, as they will suffer in this relationship.
Give the opportunity to release emotions in all possible ways: enjoy music, watch movies, read.
Don't ask for details. If you want to ask your partner about the event in detail, abandon the idea. An exception may be the case if the wife has decided to separate from the unfaithful man and believes that the dirty details of the betrayal will lead to hatred.

READ

Do parents need to tell their child about the upcoming divorce?

It is difficult to come to terms with betrayal, because it leaves a residue in your soul, which is very unpleasant.

You can forgive if this is accidental physical intimacy, and there was no repetition of it.

If betrayal occurs constantly, and the man does not change anything, make a choice. Any hopeless situation can be solved. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from people who will tell you the right path.

When there is hope deep in your soul that things can still get better in the family, take a break. It’s better to go to a completely different city for a week, be alone with your thoughts, a solution will be found.

Outside relationships lead to addiction

Men also need romance. To avoid cheating, you need to plan evening outings more often, don’t forget about sex, talk about dreams and hopes.