Why women cheat: reasons for female infidelity and 9 signs that a woman has cheated

In recent years, cases of infidelity by one of the spouses in a marriage have become more frequent. Moreover, statistics indicate an increase in infidelity not only among men, but also among women. Sociologists and psychologists conduct population surveys and research to understand the characteristics of female infidelity. They found out how often women cheat, what reasons push them to take this step, and which wives are predisposed to cheat. The data is surprising, but at the same time it helps to take a sober look at modern society.

What percentage of women cheat

According to statistics, it became known that 41% of married women violated the oath of fidelity. 8% of them experienced infidelity only once, and did not repeat it in the future. But most women who cheated once, after a while again found a relationship on the side, often long-term.

How long does the connection last on the side:

• 25% of women surveyed admitted to infidelities that lasted up to six months;
• 60% had an affair with other partners for no more than a month;
• 15% indicated one-time relationships.

Sociologists annually study various aspects of family life, including how often women cheat in marriage depending on their country of residence.

Ways to overcome the consequences of betrayal if the marriage was saved

If the marriage can be saved, the woman returns to her husband, the couple needs serious psychological help. After all, feelings of guilt can lead to severe depression. With the help of proven psychotherapeutic techniques, psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin will help his wife overcome remorse for what she has done and help the man regain self-respect.

In order for the deep wounds from betrayal to heal, the wife should be as frank as possible. At a therapy session or alone with her husband, a woman must honestly admit everything and ask for forgiveness. It is very important that the lady explains the motives for her actions and tells how long the betrayal lasted. Then gradually the husband will again begin to trust his other half.

Psychologists advise the reconciled couple to conduct a symbolic ritual of farewell to the past. At some memorable place (for example, next to the wedding palace or temple where the couple got married), they need to burn a piece of paper with the inscription “treason”, then re-swear an oath of fidelity to each other. This will definitely be remembered and will bring back good memories. Also, the couple needs to organize a “remake” of the honeymoon, go on a honeymoon again in order to forget the past, and start a relationship with a clean slate.

Statistics on infidelity in Russia

Our country occupies a leading place in the world in the number of divorces due to infidelity. The state is ahead of Belarus, Ukraine, and the Netherlands. Moreover, 90% of marriages break up within the first year after the start of family life.

It is worth noting that the statistics of women’s infidelity in Russia differs from the global one. Research shows that 25% of Russian women cheat on their husbands, and among men this figure is three times higher - 75%.

In Russia, they still consider male infidelity to be the norm, and female infidelity a disgrace.

The indicators depend on the historical aspect, due to which the difference in attitude towards infidelity between men and women is formed. Traditionally, women’s responsibility was to arrange the home and “keep the hearth”, and the man, being the breadwinner, had more freedom, including in the sphere of love.

In other countries

Researchers who conducted surveys in European countries say that women cheat on their spouses more often than their spouses:

• In England, 46% of women cheat, and only 26% of men.
• in Germany, out of 3,000 residents surveyed, 100% cheated at least once during their entire married life. Moreover, 80% of them had vivid love experiences with their lovers. This indicates that the connections were not random, but were of a long-term nature.
• Italian women cheat less than their spouses - 34% versus 55% for men.
• In eastern countries, cheating is treated more strictly, which is why rates of cheating among women are the lowest - only 3%.

How often wives cheat on their husbands is evidenced not only by survey statistics, but also by the frequency of requests to detective agencies with similar questions. The percentages of such requests are similar in the countries of the USA, Europe, and Russia. Although suspicions are not always justified.

If a person is financially dependent on their partner, they are more likely to cheat

According to a 2015 study published in the American Sociological Review, a person who is completely financially dependent on their partner is more likely to cheat on them than if they were economically independent. Moreover, this is more typical of men who rely on their wives for financial matters.

It is also noteworthy that men are less likely to cheat on their wives if they earn more than them. However, not by much: if their income begins to amount to more than 70% of the family budget, they are again close to treason.

What makes you cheat on your husband?

With the help of sociological surveys and honest women, we were able to determine the most common reasons for infidelity among wives:

1. New love – 20% . For women in external relationships, emotional return plays an important role. Falling in love or even falling in love with a new person can turn a lady’s head so much that she forgets about all the rules of decency.
2. Dissatisfaction in bed – 13%. If a woman systematically does not receive pleasure in bed, she will think about finding a lover who will fill this need. Moreover, you need to focus specifically on the quality, and not the quantity, of sexual intercourse.
3. Revenge – 11% . Most often this happens after the husband cheats. Out of emotion, a woman can commit an impulsive and desperate act, which she often regrets later. Interestingly, among men, betrayal for revenge is much less common - only 1%.
4. Long separation from spouse – 10% . We are talking about business trips and shift work, when the wife can live alone for several months.
5. Low self-esteem – 7% . Self-doubt can be innate or develop during marriage. With the help of infidelity, a woman proves to herself that she is still capable of pleasing someone other than her husband.
6. Spontaneous betrayal – 6% . Usually occurs during corporate events, parties and holiday gatherings. Fun, a festive mood and alcohol reduce barriers, and agreeing to a romantic adventure becomes easier. Usually these are one-time infidelities, because of which women often feel shame and guilt.
7. Routine, everyday life, monotony – 6% . The desire to add at least a little variety to the drab everyday life can push you into the arms of a persistent suitor. After all, a romantic story like in a movie will help you feel alive again and take you out of the cycle of household chores. Usually wives who do not have interesting hobbies and outlets in life go for this.

There is one more known fact that can encourage betrayal. During the period of ovulation, girls become emotional and flighty. This occurs due to high levels of estrogen in the blood, which is responsible for procreation. Estrogen pushes representatives of the fair half of humanity to search for a more suitable gene carrier that can help in procreation. If a woman is married, then subconsciously she still tries to find a better candidate than the previous one.

Genetic predisposition

The University of Queensland researched why wives cheat on their husbands. In the course of their work, they discovered that the cause of female infidelity lies in a DNA gene called AVPR1A. The carrier of this gene has a predisposition to love affairs. Moreover, it actively acts in the body of both sexes.

...the cause of female infidelity lies in a gene called AVPR1A.

Australian scientists tested couples who were in long-term relationships. A test for the presence of the gene in the blood and its influence on human behavior showed that wives were more likely to cheat when it was present than when it was absent. Statistics on female infidelity show that within a year, 18% of women with the Avpria gene cheated on their spouses. The percentage of cheating men with this gene is 22%.

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Emotionally jealous manipulator

Restricts freedom and monitors every step under the guise of guardianship. At first glance, such a man looks caring. At the beginning of a relationship, women even like their partner’s increased attention to their life, but over time it turns into total control.

- If there is too much attention or it is too intense, a man tries to command, explain what she should wear, where it is better for her to travel or what languages ​​to study, this often provokes a woman to run away from home. Another man may appear in her life who will not format her life and will give her “air”, a sense of inner freedom and a sense of herself as an individual , warns Natalya Panfilova.

According to the expert, the more organized a woman is, the more educated she is and the more ambitions she has, the more difficult and worse she tolerates pressure from a man.

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Psychologists also note that many men, like women, are often led by emotions. With increased emotionality and feelings of jealousy, a strong belief about betrayal is formed, even if it did not happen. People prone to “emotional thinking” are sincerely confident that if they feel this way, then this is how it is in reality.

Indifferent phlegmatic

One who is inattentive to a woman may not be able to distinguish his own children from others. When there is too little man in a woman's life, she eventually gets one who gives her the attention she needs.

— The most important thing that pushes a woman to cheat is inattention to her. For example, when a man does not devote any time to her or the children, and does not hear her. “He is absolutely indifferent to her simple needs ,” continues Polyanova.

This behavior can simply kill the affection for this man, even if the woman never planned to cheat. This may end with her packing up her things and children and leaving for someone else. A man can buy her expensive clothes, give her money, but at the same time not ask how she feels, whether the children are studying well, or whether she needs help with something. And this shows your indifference.

Launched

The most hopeless option is when a man is physically or sexually unattractive to this woman.

“ If the husband is even physiologically unpleasant, the woman will definitely want a man who is closer on a physiological level nearby ,” explains Natalya Panfilova.

Freelover experimenter and provocateur

Men who want bold sexual experiments (group sex) risk completely alienating their wife. Most women, when choosing a partner for family life, are not inclined to share him with someone.

- If a man cheats on a woman, this is from the same series as inattention, only further intensified by the fact that it is physiologically unpleasant for the woman, it hits her self-esteem and pride. Out of strong emotions, she can strike back and cheat on a man, not because she fell in love with someone, but because she wants him to also experience the same pain that she experiences ,” Natalya Panfilova clarifies.

If a man proposes an open relationship in advance, he must also be prepared for the fact that excess freedom will not lead to good things.

Which women cheat most often?

Psychologists interviewed representatives of different social status, with different life experiences and character. They were interested in whether women want to cheat on their spouses, why and what pushes them to take this step. Based on their results, they concluded that there are a number of factors that increase the chances of cheating. All of them relate to unmet needs.

A wife may think about extramarital affairs if:

• plays the role of head of the family;
• feelings for your spouse have faded;
• I saw my mother cheating as a child;
• more experienced in bed than her husband;
• is going through a critical period in life;
• does not feel supported by her husband;
• decides to reciprocate a persistent admirer;
• she is a feminist;
• desire for independence from her husband.

But the most common reason for cheating among spouses is coldness in the relationship. If heart-to-heart conversations, joint activities, mutual respect and understanding have disappeared, in such a family they may think about another partner.

Critical age

British scientists conducted a study by studying data from the dating site IllicitEncounters. Among the registered users there were many accounts from married women over 40.

At forty-five - Baba Berry again.

Moreover, an interesting pattern was noticed - an aggravation of the craving for infidelity was noted at 29, 49 and 59 years old. It is precisely at this age that periods of crisis, reflection and revaluation of values ​​fall.

Treason

What is treason? Everyone understands this word differently. For some, infidelity is sexual intercourse with an acquaintance, for others it is an ordinary kiss. If we think logically, then even the feelings that one of the spouses experiences for someone else’s can be considered adultery, especially if sympathy for one’s legal spouse has disappeared.

Example: the wife began to devote a lot of time to someone else. Communicates with him, shares secrets and experiences. There is no physical contact between them (they didn’t even walk hand in hand), but all the girl’s thoughts are focused on this person, and her moral principles do not allow her to indulge in adultery. But don’t the facts already listed hint at some frivolity? How to treat this is up to each person to decide for themselves.

Friend or foe?

A situation often arises when a girl cheated on a guy with his friend. There are several reasons why this could happen:

• There really were feelings between your girlfriend and your friend.
• She liked your friend before, she started dating you to get closer to him.
• Problems in your relationship.
• Revenge for the past.

Analyze your friend's behavior towards you and your chosen one before her betrayal. Perhaps some kind of spiritual connection has long arisen between them. Try to understand both. Think about whether you need such a friend, whether you can trust him.

Constant help for a friend

Your wife, like all women, has a best friend. Previously, communication with her was limited to rare meetings, shopping and cafes. Suddenly, at some point, my friend began to need help literally every day. The wife returns home late, when asked what they did with her friend, she answers in monosyllables and without details. She cannot say which cafe they were in, which stores she chose the dress from, or why she didn’t buy anything. It is quite logical that such behavior leads to thoughts of betrayal.

Accident

This reason may seem ridiculous, but it occurs quite often. Why does a girl cheat on her boyfriend? The answer to this question may be hidden behind a simple coincidence. For example, she went to a party where a group of people gathered, including men she didn’t know.

After the drinks there was dancing. Then everything started spinning on its own. This is the most common reason why drunk girls cheat on their husbands. As a rule, in such situations, sex with a new acquaintance is not initially included in the woman’s plans. Such a connection can occur for just one evening. But there are times when she forces a woman to break off her previous relationship and leave the family.

No disputes or quarrels

Previously, your spouse could start a quarrel over a simple like on social networks. Your socks, found under the sofa, could cause a storm of indignation in her. Now she is unusually quiet, does not get irritated over little things, and does not scold you for small and large mistakes. This may also be a sign that she has another man. Your person and everything connected with her are now uninteresting to her.

We told you how to understand that a lady has another man. Now let's find out why a girl cheats on her guy. Let's look at the most common cases.

Behavior change

Mood changes in women are quite common. They can mean a lot of things, not just betrayal. However, there is a surer way to understand that she has someone. Almost all women at first try to hide the presence of another man, but an observant person will definitely notice the so-called evidence. Of course, if the lady is not an unsurpassed actress of the highest category. What kind of “evidence” is this?

If a lover has an interest in another man, she will constantly or very often think about him. As a result, her thoughts will be somewhere far away from you. She will become thoughtful, begin to answer inappropriately, and stop showing tenderness to you.

What causes female infidelity through the eyes of a psychologist? Methods of self-justification

Psychologists say: betrayal leads to cognitive dissonance - a discord between values ​​and actions. That is why the cheating spouse needs to justify the betrayal. This situation is reminiscent of a war when a soldier is forced to kill, although his values ​​​​do not allow him to do this. The soldier needs to temporarily change his own principles and find a good justification for the murders. Or, in psychological terms, rationalize your own actions. The role of “rationalizer” is played by patriotic propaganda.

Methods of self-justification:

1. The saint is not worthy of a woman. Of course, an extramarital affair is not murder, but it also causes discord between a person’s values ​​and actions. The cheating person often rationalizes the betrayal, instilling in himself the idea that the other half deserves it. The discord between values ​​and actions weakens, and the woman is no longer tormented by doubts. With a clear conscience, she begins to look for a new partner.
2. Double life. Also, some people suppress feelings of guilt with the help of separate thinking. A woman divides her personal life into two parts. The first is reserved for the husband, the second for the lover. A woman ceases to be aware of the inconsistency of her own behavior and begins to lead a double life, trying to remain a good wife for her husband and be a desirable lover for another. Women rarely choose this way to rationalize their feelings of guilt. It is much more characteristic of the male gender.
3. The woman thinks she is “bad.” Some people, in order to get rid of cognitive dissonance, convince themselves that they simply cannot be faithful wives. To reduce feelings of guilt, ladies begin to think that they have an immature character and cannot control their own behavior. “If only I had been,” such representatives of the fairer sex say to themselves, “I would have been better, I would have remained faithful. But my terrible character and bad heredity don’t help. There is no one to blame for the betrayal.”

Blaming a lady for such “immoral thoughts” is really pointless. A person who commits adultery longs for his values ​​and actions to coincide, otherwise a feeling of dissatisfaction with himself, guilt, and despair will inevitably arise. This mental state often ends in depression, even suicide attempts. Therefore, there is nothing strange that the human psyche does everything to get rid of the painful value dissonance born of betrayal.

Cheating on a woman does not necessarily result in the end of a relationship or tragedy. Often it's a new beginning. If the wife leaves her lover, and the husband is ready to forgive, then they will turn over this difficult page of their lives and fall in love with each other again. Tips on the YouTube channel will help you get out of a difficult situation.

Wardrobe update, mood change

Psychologists warn that men who suspect their loved one of infidelity should not rush to conclusions. Experts recommend observing her for some time. If the chosen one begins to cheat, this may be signaled by a change in her wardrobe, hairstyle or mood. But even in this case, do not rush to check your wife’s phone. If you have had a difficult time in your relationship, perhaps by changing her image, she is simply trying to revive your former passion.

Is it possible to avoid

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To avoid a girl cheating, a man must give her what she wants and expects. It happens that an “adventurer,” even when getting married, is set up for adultery from the very beginning (perhaps influenced by the negative example of her parents or her own experience from the past). Even in these events, adultery can be prevented, the main thing is to take action in time. To do this, a man must:

• Avoid situations where a girl, under any pretext, is left alone with other gentlemen;
• Demonstrate your trust to your chosen one in every possible way and never show suspicion, even if there are reasons for this;
• Show the chosen one that he loves, appreciates, respects her and does not try to change her;
• Under no circumstances should you remind your lover about her past or ask about previous relationships. As practice shows, memories of stories from the past, of turbulent youth, often provoke women to “search for adventure.”

Also, a gentleman should pay his beloved as much attention as possible, never deprive her of sex and respond to any requests. If a woman wants to discuss something together, she must be listened to (even if the problem seems trivial to the man). Trusting and warm relationships are the best prevention of adultery.

Adultery can be avoided by paying more attention to your other half

Material security

Why does a girl cheat on a man? The reason may lie in her craving for money and all the delights that come with it. In this case, she leads a double life: she meets with a man who may be old, unattractive in appearance and sexuality, and married. All this in order to receive money and beautiful expensive gifts. Then she comes back to you, perhaps even bringing into the house groceries that you cannot buy. Sooner or later she will have to make a choice between finances and relationships. Another option: find a partner who combines youth with good earnings.

Psychological and physical violence

Sometimes the reasons for betrayal are tragic. We are talking about rape. This cannot be called cheating, because the sex was not voluntary. But some girls (and their boyfriends) don't think so. If this happened to your chosen one, try to overcome the feeling of wounded pride and provide her with support, go to a psychologist together, talk about going to the police, try not to remind her of what happened and not to reproach her.

Blackmail is also a type of violence, but from the psychological side. Perhaps your loved one has a secret with which she is being blackmailed and forced into sex. To avoid such situations, relationships must be built on absolute trust in each other.