Fear of people's gazes. What are ommatophobia and scopophobia?

Don't take this behavior personally

If your counterpart avoids eye contact, try not to be offended. “The reasons for this behavior can be very different: from a feeling of awkwardness, insecurity, to banal boredom or a desire to avoid discussing a sensitive topic,” explains etiquette expert Diana Gottesman. - It may not be about you at all. Or perhaps, just the opposite, it is in you. By looking away, the other person may be showing that he is uncomfortable or that he does not agree with you or is not interested in continuing the conversation. Each situation should be considered separately, taking into account the context.”

Perhaps the person on the contrary is simply absorbed in his own thoughts - perhaps he is in trouble or an important event is coming that occupies all his thoughts. In the end, he may simply not notice that he is not looking you in the eyes - not all of us control or even monitor our body language.

Fear of the dark - what is this phobia called, why does fear arise and how to fight it

People in the world are afraid of different things. It is difficult to list all the imaginary and real threats that are accompanied by negative emotions. Of these, fear of the dark is the most ancient fear, so familiar to many.

Fear of the Dark

Name and definition of fear of the dark

Of all the phobias known today, fear of the dark remains the most common among children and adults. Few people have not experienced fear when suddenly left alone in pitch darkness. Psychologists distinguish between fear and phobia. Real acute fear includes the instinct of self-preservation: there is danger, you need to save yourself or defend yourself. Such a reaction cannot be called a phobia.

Neurotic unreasonable fear is already a phobia. A person experiences unaccountable, persistent fear even in a safe situation. Anxiety is accompanied by certain symptoms. That is, phobias are fears expressed more strongly and vividly, which negatively affect a person’s well-being and activities and interfere with his normal life. They are considered a mental disorder. According to statistics, more than 10% of the world's population is susceptible to a phobia called nyctophobia.

By definition, nyctophobia is an uncontrollable fear of a dark room or unlit area. Sometimes nyctophobia is confused with a fear of enclosed spaces. This is wrong. A person suffering from a fear of the dark can safely stay indoors as long as there is light there.

Symptoms of a phobia

Not everyone knows what the fear of the dark is scientifically called. Any healthy person in a dark room or area feels uncertainty and discomfort. The sense of self-preservation prompts one to be wary of dark streets, basements and entrances. When extreme horror and panic sets in, and you want to scream and run for your life, this is nyctophobia.

Characteristic physical symptoms of the disease:

• strong heartbeat;
• dyspnea;
• tinnitus, dizziness;
• increased sweating, chills;
• weakness in the body, loss of voice;
• tremor of the limbs;
• pressure surges;
• headache;
• insomnia, nightmares;
• nausea, diarrhea;
• the appearance of hallucinations.

Symptoms

Why are people afraid of the night and darkness?

Not everyone understands what Nyctophobia is. The fear of the dark goes back to the primitive past, when our ancestors felt unprotected in the dark. The natural fear of being caught by surprise at night by enemies or predatory animals forced us to look for or build a reliable shelter and come up with different methods of protection. Uncontrollable fear of the dark is a special emotional state that occurs for a number of reasons:

1. Genetic roots. Our distant ancestors left us a legacy of fear and anxiety in the face of the unknown, fraught with many threats, darkness. Fear sharpened the sense of self-preservation and helped to survive in the wild.
2. Physiological. Without light, human organs receive little information to avoid danger.
3. Psychological trauma. Negative childhood experiences and severe fear can develop into a phobia.
4. Loneliness. Often a person experiences a heightened sense of insecurity in the evening and at night when left alone in a room. The darkness intensifies his fears many times over.
5. Developed imagination. Some children and adults, thanks to their imagination, can see the most unusual and bizarre shapes in the dark. They imagine fantastic creatures, ghosts and robbers.
6. Stress. Due to strong emotional experiences, a person begins to imagine danger everywhere.
7. Lack of vitamins and microelements. The lack of essential substances in the diet disrupts mental stability, causing anxiety and panic attacks.
8. Threat of death. This is the main subconscious reason for the appearance of nyctophobia. Human consciousness connects death and darkness.

Find out if eye contact is accepted in the interlocutor's culture

“In some cultures, direct eye contact is considered unnecessary or even rude,” explains coach and communication specialist Jennifer Kammeyer. — For example, in a number of Asian countries, to show that you are listening to your interlocutor, it is customary to slightly lower your head and nod.

Therefore, if you plan to interact with people from different countries - for example, at work, at a conference - take the time to collect information about foreign etiquette.”

If you still haven’t had time to research the issue before meeting your interlocutor, try to behave the same way as him (this, by the way, applies not only to eye contact, but also to handshakes, keeping distance, and so on).

Associated syndromes

Although scopophobia is a single disorder, it has much in common with other irrational fears. Specific phobias and syndromes that are similar to scopophobia include erythrophobia - fear of blushing (usually develops in young people) and epileptic fear. Scopophobia is also often associated with schizophrenia. It is not considered indicative of this diagnosis, but rather is seen as a psychological problem that is investigated independently.

Sociologist Erving Goffman suggested that avoiding random glances on the street remained one of the characteristic symptoms of public psychosis. Many people with scopophobia develop habits of voyeurism or exhibitionism. Another related but very different one is syndromescopophilia (excessive enjoyment of searching for erotic objects).

Show kindness and empathy

Etiquette expert Nick Leighton believes that these qualities will tell you how best to behave: continue the dialogue as if nothing had happened, adapt to the interlocutor, or ask him a direct question about whether everything is okay.

“Try not to get annoyed with your counterpart or blame yourself for what’s happening,” says Layton. If the person is not a business partner, but someone close to you, it may be appropriate to ask him a direct question - of course, in the most correct form.

For example, you might ask, “I don’t think you and I are on the same page. Are you worried (or preoccupied) with something else?”, “Did I say something wrong? Did I offend you in some way?” The main thing is not to attack your interlocutor, try to remain as gentle and friendly as possible.

Causes

The phobia often occurs in patients with epilepsy or Tourette's syndrome (a neurological condition in which the sufferer has tics or vocalizations). However, compared to Scopophobia caused by social disorders, phobia caused by epilepsy usually results in epileptic seizures on a bus, train or other public places where everyone is looking at the individual. Additionally, phobia in epileptics is different in that it tends to be more common in middle-aged people, while anxiety associated with Scopophobia affects younger patients.

Children who have experienced traumatic situations, such as being ridiculed in public for some reason, are more likely to develop a fear of being the center of attention. In some individuals, the phobia arises due to an accident or illness. Scoptophobia also develops in people with other social disorders such as stage fright, fear of public speaking, etc.

People with low self-esteem are more likely to suffer from Scoptophobia. Naturally, having a little social anxiety is considered reasonable. However, with extreme Scopophobia, it usually grows out of proportion to the risk factors. Autism and schizophrenia are other disorders that can cause excessive fear of being ridiculed or being the center of attention.

Adapt to your counterpart’s communication style

If you and the other person are not close, it can be difficult to determine the reasons for his or her behavior, and asking a direct question can add even more tension to the situation. A reasonable solution in this case would be to simply adjust and try to use other criteria to understand whether the interlocutor is following what you are saying and whether he agrees with you.

You can pause more often and ask if everything is clear or if clarification is needed. Listen carefully to the answer and smile encouragingly at the person.

In the end, if it suddenly turns out that your interlocutor, for example, has Asperger's syndrome (one of the types of autism spectrum disorders), it will be easier for you to adapt to him than it is for him to adapt to you.

Social phobia. The essence of social phobia

Recently, it has become popular to call oneself a social phobe (especially among young people), moreover, in the erroneous understanding of this word.

• Firstly, this is not hatred of people, as many people believe.
• Secondly, real social phobia is an extremely unpleasant condition that prevents a person from living.

So, social phobia, or social phobia, is fear of society, certain social situations or social contacts. The impossibility of building them is due to certain internal reasons (not always conscious), but not from reluctance. I suggest you immediately get acquainted with the supporting points of this question, which I will explain and comment on along the way or later.

1. Social phobia belongs to the group of anxiety-phobic disorders. In the international classification of diseases it is assigned code F1.
2. In total, about 8% of people experience social phobia. Women (9.5%) suffer from social anxiety more often than men (4.9%). This is due to the natural emotionality of the fair sex, the desire to always look perfect. Stereotypes and social pressure also play a significant role (for example, it is more difficult for women to advance in politics; they literally have no room for error).
3. An important difference between social phobia and other disorders is that a person realizes the groundlessness of his fears or, on the contrary, clearly sees the “roots” (previous experience).
4. Social phobia is a variant of the body’s psychological defense mechanism.
5. When faced with a difficult situation for a person, the body turns on defense mechanisms. They are not always recognized by the individual and often make the situation even worse. The most common psychological defense mechanisms for social phobia are regression (child’s behavior), substitution (slamming the door, “breaking down” on another person), projection (transferring responsibility for failure to circumstances or another person).
6. Psychological fear is always reflected by physical, in this case psychosomatic, disorders.
7. Fear destroys personality. There is nothing left in life except phobia. Life turns into existence. We need to fight this.

Or just end the conversation

If you suspect that the other person is avoiding eye contact because the subject of the conversation is not interesting to him or something is distracting him, allow him to no longer participate in the conversation or try to diplomatically end the dialogue.

This is especially true for spontaneous, unplanned meetings. Even if the first conversation with a person did not go well, do not give up on the possibility of communication - perhaps now was simply not the best moment, and next time you will be able to talk normally, looking eye to eye.

Personal experiences

First, remember that your girlfriend is a full-fledged person, and she has a personal life.
A lot of events can happen in this personal life that you don’t even know about. Therefore, if they look away from your eyes, you should not immediately look for problems in yourself or imagine yourself as a victim of betrayal. If your relationship has not yet reached the required level of trust, then the girl may be proud enough to reveal her emotional experiences and events in her personal life. Therefore, such a moment can just help strengthen the thread of trust. Try asking your partner about what happened to her, asking indirect, unobtrusive questions so as not to scare her.