Child character traits that need to be corrected urgently

Child monitoring and recommendations for parents

One of the simplest and most accessible methods for identifying problems and needs is observation. An objective assessment can only be obtained through the joint work of teachers, educators, psychologists and other specialists. Nevertheless, attention from parents is important for the timely detection and correction of negative manifestations.

It should be borne in mind that many undesirable characteristics of children turn out to be temporary and are lost as they grow older. On the other hand, they can transform into stable character traits. Observation of the child's behavior is carried out according to a number of signs. Those that are pronounced and occur constantly or frequently for 6 months or more are noted. It should also be taken into account that negative qualities can be hidden and only a specialist can recognize them.

A description of typical child actions with various negative characteristics and tips for parents to correct them are presented below.

List of positive human qualities

The list of positive and negative qualities of a person is huge. Initially, all definitions regarding the nature and essence of a person, his behavior are subjective. Society has established certain norms that allow us to determine how positive or negative a particular personality trait or action is. However, there are the highest qualities of a person that demonstrate his virtue and good intentions. Their list looks like this:

• altruism;
• reverence for elders;
• kindness;
• fulfillment of promises;
• moral;
• responsibility;
• loyalty;
• perseverance;
• moderation;
• responsiveness;
• honesty;
• sincerity;
• selflessness and others.

These qualities, along with their derivatives, constitute the nature of the true beauty of a person's character. They are laid down in the family; in the process of upbringing, children copy the behavior of their parents, and therefore a well-educated person will have all these highest qualities.

Aggressiveness

• intentionally damages toys, buildings, and various objects;
• pushes, hits, bites other children, spits;
• says obscene or offensive words if he knows them;
• scares other children, threatens, swings to hit;
• clenches his fists and blushes when angry;
• resists, breaks away if an adult holds him back to stop a fight or dangerous actions;
• pinches and bites himself, asks other children to hit him;
• unreasonably refuses a game that is interesting to him, does the opposite, although he understands or knows how to complete the task correctly;
• deliberately creates conflicts and does not try to avoid them if possible.

When aggressive behavior occurs, parents must respond appropriately. The main mistakes of adults are fulfilling the child’s demands and showing the same aggression towards him. You cannot shout, beat, try to rudely explain and educate, or fulfill your whims. This behavior of loved ones increases the child’s anger and becomes his technique to achieve what he wants.

Methods of influence should be strict, but not cruel. It is necessary to stop the child, take him aside or to another room if he is fighting or swinging. Ask what exactly he wanted to get and clearly explain why this is not possible now. You can use the words “you can’t”, “stop”, “stop”. Don't say them too often.

The child will understand that aggression is useless if you show indifference. For example, move on to other things, start a conversation with someone. It is extremely important to demonstrate indifference precisely at the moment of an outburst of anger in a child. At the same time, monitor him to prevent dangerous actions. As soon as calm comes, you need to pay attention to it, express love and care.

A role-playing game will be useful, where the adult will become a daughter or son, and the child will be a mother or father. That is, you need to change places, which will give you the opportunity to experience the role of a parent. Of course, an adult should copy bad behavior in a humorous manner.

If you call yourself an extrovert, get into the “gifted group.”

In the 1950s, scientists classified children as “difficult,” “easy,” and “slow.” “Conscious control,” which measures a child’s ability to exert self-control and concentration (for example, the ability to resist the temptation of a beautiful toy), “negative emotions,” which measures how often a child experiences fear and frustration, and “extroversion,” which relates to the child’s level of activity. his ability to make friends. In a study conducted by Russian scientists, 45 parents were asked to rate their children's temperament in these three categories at seven months of age, and then on the basic dimensions of adult personality - extraversion and neuroticism - at eight years.

A comparison of the survey results revealed certain patterns. Extroverted children aged eight tended to show lower levels of neuroticism (that is, they were more emotionally stable). And children who received the highest score in the “conscious control” category had high levels of conscientiousness as adults. So, if your baby demonstrates a remarkable level of attention, he will obviously be neat as a teenager.

Demonstrativeness

• tries by any means to draw the attention of others to himself, including by breaking the rules;
• makes faces, distorts and emphasizes the movements or behavior of others (it is important to distinguish from copying, which the child does in order to learn something);
• evaluates the reaction of others to his behavior, especially adults;
• strives to receive a positive assessment in any way;
• shows new toys, unusual objects not to play with them, but to show off;
• compares himself with other children, while always emphasizing his own merits;
• tries to identify the shortcomings of peers, gives a negative assessment of the actions or results of other children; the pronoun “I” predominates in speech;
• reacts painfully if an adult praises another child.

Adults need to save the child from the need to prove his advantage and assert himself. He should feel love and respect, which does not necessarily need to be fueled by his superiority over others. This can be achieved by showing sincere interest in the child.

In relationships with peers, you should avoid competitive games, fights, and competitions. The child should focus on cooperation and partnership. It is important to switch children’s attention to the process and exclude evaluation of the results of the task. Any games (role-playing, round dancing) are suitable, where all the children interact, there is a sense of community and cohesion, and no one stands out.

Receptive type

This is probably the most convenient character type for educators. After all, children with a receptive character type adore rules, constancy, rhythm, routine, repetition of the same actions. They are easy to “manage” in kindergarten and at school, they easily get up in the morning, wash and brush their teeth without reminders, and easily cope with tasks that they have worked through carefully. But situations when novelty suddenly appears, when you need to be smart or take some action that was not discussed in advance, “block” the child’s psyche. Such children make excellent performers, but they will never become leaders. Making a decision on their own is akin to accomplishing a feat for them.

Considering the nature of the behavior of children belonging to the receptive type, it should be noted that they, like children belonging to the sensitive type, are characterized by sensitivity and a tendency to experience. These are very sensitive and responsive kids. And if you skillfully instill in them the ability to make independent decisions, then they will turn out to be wonderful family men and loyal friends.

You can begin to foster independence in early childhood. For example, you should allow them to buy something for themselves in the store, pay for the purchase themselves, or choose a gift for their sister or teacher. Even choosing clothes in the morning is already an action. Any small actions that the baby performs on his own, guided by his own desire, should be encouraged. And in no case should you offend a person with mistrust if he makes a mistake. Explain - yes, show another option - yes. But don’t scold, don’t punish, don’t make people laugh.

Shyness

• avoids public speaking and oral questioning;
• refuses to become a leader;
• does not answer the question, although he knows the correct answer;
• often uses the phrases “I don’t know”, “it’s hard to say”;
• cannot quickly decide to do something, doubts, is embarrassed;
• prefers to remain on the sidelines and does not stand out from the group of children;
• does not ask for help, even if it is necessary or takes a long time to decide to ask for it, while experiencing strong excitement and tension;
• generally shows lack of self-confidence and has low self-esteem;
• stops its activities and communication in case of poor results.

Parents need to increase their child's self-esteem. You cannot only point out shortcomings and defeats; you should emphasize your strengths, celebrate your successes, and praise. It is important to teach shy children how to properly express and control their feelings.

Mistakes and failures need to be calmly discussed and the reasons for the failures identified together with the child in a friendly environment. Establish trusting relationships among all family members, avoid quarrels, shouting, and a tense atmosphere in the house. Shyness is often accompanied by stiffness and low physical activity, so the need for movement cannot be limited. Showing love, support and interest from loved ones will help the child overcome internal conflict.

Anxiety

1. Physical manifestations (not related to illness, poor diet, weather, etc.): muscle tension, fever or chills, dizziness, numbness, tingling, trembling, tightness in the chest or abdomen, cold and clammy hands, sleep disturbance.
2. Behavior:

• gets tired quickly;
• cannot concentrate for a long time;
• shudders, is frightened by ordinary objects, has many fears;
• avoids difficulties, refuses complex tasks and new activities;
• prefers to be closer to adults, wants to sleep with parents (or other adult relatives)
• speaks quietly, often stammers;
• looks distantly around, with a wandering gaze;
• remembers poorly, asks again;
• strives to protect himself and receive protection, does not show independence in games;
• moves stiffly, slowly and carefully (if this has not been previously noticed and is not related to temperament);
• cries, is capricious, offended, sad for no apparent reason;
• shows uncertainty and indecisiveness.

In general, the task of parents is to restore the child’s trust in the world and others and eliminate fears. To do this, it is necessary to celebrate even minor successes, any positive results of his work. It is advisable to increase the number of contacts with other children. For example, while organizing holidays at home, you should not leave an anxious child alone with the guests. He may feel danger without seeing close people nearby.

Requirements from all family members should be clear, consistent, and not too strict. Anxiety and shyness can be combined; many of the manifestations of these behavioral characteristics are similar, as are the tips for parents.

You cannot threaten a child with unrealistic punishments (“I will give you to the gray wolf”, “I will kill you”, “instead of you we will take another boy who will obey”). It is extremely undesirable to use derogatory expressions, force competition, demand courage and dexterity, or compare with other children.

Negative personality traits of a child can be corrected, but this task is not an easy one. It will take time. Parents must take into account many factors that influence the development of their children's character. A specialist will help you take into account all the nuances and build the correct line of behavior for adults and children.

FORMATION OF CHARACTER IN A CHILD

Parents need to understand all the characteristics of their child’s character if they want to help him grow into a formed and holistic personality. You will not completely change your character, but you can see negative predispositions in advance and prevent them from revealing themselves. It is important to respect and love your child and support him in any situation. In this case, no matter what type of character your child has, he will grow up to be a good person. Knowing the strengths and weaknesses of your child’s character will allow you to avoid many mistakes in raising him.