How to raise a tolerant child (and why you need it)

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Tolerance is tolerance towards other cultures, religions, opinions, views. Each person has his own idea of ​​life, the world around him, people and society. A person who is able to treat the opinions and views of other people with respect and understanding is tolerant. Man lives in a democratic society that is characterized by ethnic, religious and political diversity. We can talk about a person’s tolerance if he respects representatives of another race, their political and religious views.

The Declaration of Human Rights, adopted by the UN in 1948, defines the concept of tolerance as respect for the right of a person to live the way he wants, provided that his actions do not contradict the law.

How to develop tolerance?

What a tolerant person means is very well described by the domestic teacher Vulfov. In his understanding, this is a person capable of harmoniously coexisting with other people who have their own mentality and lead a different way of life.

Read also: Cottage cheese with sugar: benefits and harms

In the modern world, the aspect of cultivating a tolerant and respectful attitude towards other cultures is becoming increasingly clear. This requires special attention and a detailed approach. For good interethnic communication, it is necessary to understand and accept the characteristics of other peoples and at the same time respect one’s historical values.

Firstly, it is necessary to teach a calm attitude towards other cultures and movements. At the same time, a person must be able to analyze and highlight points that differ from general standards, and distinguish between both positive and negative details. Secondly, you need to constantly learn, develop, and get to know the world. Learn new cultures and rules. Thirdly, it is necessary to appreciate the achievements of other people.

The main thing to understand is that there are differences, and that's not a bad thing.

Differences between tolerance and intolerance

Certain arguments may indicate that there is a truly tolerant person nearby.

1. A tolerant individual is open to communication with people, he is inquisitive, and can come to the rescue. An intolerant person is not able to worry about others and does not show compassion for them.
2. The ability to laugh at one's shortcomings indicates a tolerant personality. Such a person reacts adequately to jokes, as well as to critical statements.
3. Despite the problems of our time, in particular terrorism, rampant crime, a tolerant person feels protected in society. Then, as intolerant people, they see a real threat in everything.
4. A tolerant person gives an adequate assessment of everything, knows his shortcomings, and strives to correct them. It defines the need for inner harmony. An intolerant person blames everyone around him for his troubles and extols his achievements.
5. A tolerant individual will not convince his interlocutor that he is right, but will retain his opinion. An intolerant person is essentially a dictator. It is important for her that other people obey her desires and concepts.
6. Tolerant individuals are not afraid to take responsibility. They are looking for real meaning and true reasons. They are not afraid to take responsibility for their own actions, as well as for the actions of others.

Now you know what a tolerant man or woman is like. This concept includes tolerance, respect for human dignity, the opinion of another individual, compassion, the desire for equality and partnership, mercy. This definition cannot be put on the same level as indifference. Here we are not talking about an indifferent attitude towards the behavior of another person, but about the ability to perceive another person’s lifestyle, which differs from his own, without judging him.

“My son is a nationalist, what should I do?”

Case from practice. The mother of 13-year-old Dima came for a consultation with a psychologist. Barely holding back tears, she told the following story:

“My husband and I have always tried to raise our son correctly, the way he should. He, of course, knew from childhood that all people in the world are different. We watched cartoons with him and read books about the history of nations.

And then, imagine, I accidentally came across his correspondence on VKontakte (he, as usual, forgot to close his page), and there was such horror... It turned out that my son and two other children were bullying an Azerbaijani boy who joined their class this year. And they call him a chump, and they write all sorts of threats to him...

To say that I was shocked is to say nothing. I told my husband everything, in the evening they gave Dima a beating, and he responded: “So what’s wrong? He really is a fool! Hate him! Let him return to his village, but he has nothing to do here!”

My hands just gave up. Tell me what we did wrong? Why did our son become like this?

Typically, discriminatory attitudes in children start small. With offensive jokes towards a classmate who is unlike others. From disrespect and mockery of other people's traditions and customs. And if parents and teachers do not intervene in the situation in time, the son or daughter may join radical nationalism.

You should sound the alarm if your child:

1. He began to move away from family and friends and spends a lot of time alone.
2. He often watches videos on the Internet with extremist content or promoting Nazi ideas.
3. Drastically changes his clothing style and appearance.
4. I began to often talk about political and social topics. Expresses signs of intolerance with cliched, as if pre-prepared phrases.
5. Experiences bouts of anger and uncontrollable aggression towards persons of another nationality.

What should parents do:

1. Do not harshly condemn the teenager’s behavior; try to find out in a calm, confidential conversation the reason why your son or daughter supports these views. Be prepared for the fact that the situation will not change in one conversation.
2. Assess your feelings: “It’s very painful and unpleasant for me that you do this.”
3. If possible, limit your child’s interactions with people who have a negative influence on him.
4. Seek help from a child psychologist.

The sooner a child realizes that “different, not like me” does not mean “bad,” the less likely it is that in the future he will turn into an aggressor, capable of humiliating and bullying people who are somehow different from him.

Principles of teaching tolerance

There are different principles of teaching tolerance that modern society has come to. They are divided into two main groups:

1. General pedagogical
2. Private

General pedagogical principles of tolerance education

Tolerance can be taught, but for this the child must be motivated to learn to be tolerant. Using available examples, one should talk about what a society comes to, in which people do not show tolerance to each other, and resolve all conflicts with aggression and the method of force. Respect for the personality of another person should be cultivated from school, because we know examples of school bullying, which are often due to the fact that children are not ready to accept a person who is different from them into the group. However, targets for school bullying can also be chosen spontaneously.

Tolerance is natural for young children. But over time, under the influence of the environment, the child begins to form his position on many issues and it turns out that he cannot be tolerant of everything. Exactly how a child will show his intolerance and cope with it depends on us, adults. First of all, we must decide what kind of society we want to live in.

Why should you be tolerant?

The first manifestations of tolerance and tolerance arose in Ancient Greece. The Greeks mastered the art of argumentation. During the debate, a variety of opinions were expressed and heard. True, over time, the tolerance of the Greeks came to an end. A striking example illustrating such a revaluation of the value system is the Greek word barbaros. Previously, the Greeks called all foreigners barbarians. Today, barbarians are called uneducated, ignorant, rude people who mercilessly destroy culture. In the past, innovative thinking and individuality put a person's life in danger. Think of medieval women: women with unusual appearance, knowledgeable in natural sciences or medicinal plants, were constantly persecuted, considered witches and killed. Only later, with the advent of the Enlightenment, were tolerance and tolerance recognized as social virtues.

Types of tolerance

Tolerance and its types actually indicate that it is a global problem.
The cause of all conflicts in the world is the lack of tolerance in society. Having their own beliefs, some people cannot accept the fact that other people may have their own opinions. Of course, sometimes it can be funny to watch political talk shows where opponents throw water at each other and throw chairs, but in reality it is not funny at all. Lack of agreement leads to destabilization of the political situation at the state level. In total, there are 9 types of tolerance:
1. Political tolerance - respect for representatives of different political forces and movements. 2. Interethnic tolerance – characterized by tolerance towards people of all nationalities. 3. Gender – the ability to treat a person with respect, regardless of his gender. 4. Racial - acceptance and understanding of the individual, no matter what race he is. 5. Tolerance towards people with disabilities - human rights and freedoms should not depend on his physical health. 6. Religious - all religions deserve respect and have the right to life. 7. Sexual orientation – the inadmissibility of homophobia towards people of non-traditional sexual orientation. 8. Educational – acceptance of an individual, without regard to his diploma, or lack thereof. 9. Interclass – respectful attitude towards people, regardless of their material wealth.

What is tolerance?

In 1995, the General Conference of UNESCO approved the Declaration of Principles of Tolerance, which was signed by 185 countries, including Russia.

According to this document, tolerance is respect and acceptance of the diversity of cultures, peoples and customs . This is a rejection of violence and discrimination against people who differ from us in skin color, religion and other characteristics.

The basic principle of tolerance is: “I see that you are different and different from me, but I accept and respect it.”

To be tolerant does not mean to be indifferent and indifferent to what is happening in the world. There should be no tolerance for crime, rudeness, bullying and violence.

Tolerance is an active life position, recognition of the right to individuality. This is a desire to help people, to make the world a better place.

A tolerant person has such personality characteristics as mutual respect, goodwill, compliance and sociability.

The problem of tolerance in Russia and in the world

The issue of tolerance and respect is now one of the most discussed in the world. This is not surprising, since national and religious differences are increasingly becoming the cause of conflicts between people living in the same territory.

In Europe, for example, due to the large flow of migrants from the Middle East, cases of attacks on refugees by radical indigenous people who oppose the “Islamization” of their countries have become more frequent.

And Muslim migrants, in turn, also provoke conflicts with their disdain for European traditions and shrines.

In Russia, the problem of tolerance has always been relevant. Since our country is multinational, a large number of different peoples with their own traditions and customs have long coexisted on its territory.

The division “us and them”, “us and foe” has always existed. Representatives of different cultures tried to stay apart, defending their ethnic views, often through bloody wars.

But times are changing, and people, fortunately, have begun to understand that “different” views and customs do not mean “bad.” That every person has the right to his own worldview and his own values. And this right must be respected.

What does lack of tolerance lead to?

Tolerance involves respecting and understanding that other people's lives may be different from our own, just like their opinions, personality traits and appearance. We may have different opinions, beliefs, and disagree with what they think is right. And despite this, we want to be accepted, valued and respected in the same way.

Denial, disapproval and other manifestations of discrimination, for example, based on nationality, gender and political views lead first to conflicts and then to larger unrest, chaos and even massacres.

Lack of tolerance breeds hatred. Hatred leads to mistrust. Mistrust breeds fragmentation. Tolerance allows people of different backgrounds, religions and beliefs to work and live together, and this promotes greater efficiency and creates unity. Where there is discrimination, there can be no peace. Lack of tolerance leads to conflict, violence and instability

“Well then, be tolerant of my opinion.”

But the problem is, if people are tolerant of violence, won’t this lead to an increase in the number of cases of violence? Yes, which means you can’t be tolerant of everything. Here we come to what the “paradox of tolerance” is.

is a logical paradox that Karl Popper described in his book The Open Society and Its Enemies.

“Less known is the paradox of tolerance: unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we show unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society from the onslaught of the intolerant, then tolerance will be destroyed, and tolerance will be destroyed along with them. - In this formulation, for example, I do not mean that we should always suppress the expression of intolerant philosophies; so long as we can resist them by rational arguments and restrain them by public opinion, suppression will certainly be unwise. But we must claim the right to suppress them, even by force if necessary; since it may easily turn out that they are not ready to meet us at the level of rational arguments, but will begin by condemning all arguments; they may prohibit their followers from listening to rational arguments because they are deceptive, and teach them to answer arguments with fists or pistols. Therefore, in the name of tolerance, we must demand the right not to tolerate the intolerant.” Karl Popper Austrian and British philosopher and sociologist

Why show tolerance?

Why should a Christian show tolerance? What if we are encouraged to be tolerant of things that are truly unacceptable? Should we be tolerant towards, for example, same-sex marriage?

Our Lord Jesus Christ called us to love. But love for a sinful person does not at all mean tolerance of sin. “Loving the sinner and hating sin” means not allowing tolerance for sin, not justifying it, but praying for those whom we consider wrong, so that the Lord will guide them on the true path. To be tolerant means to ask for forgiveness of sins even for our enemies. At the same time, do not allow the possibility of sin and do not invent circumstances according to which sin can be justified.

If we do not show tolerance and do not restrain impulses of anger, gradually any conflict will develop into a serious confrontation. A person has the right to any worldview. At the same time, we should not be tolerant of worldviews and views that bring danger and evil into the world. It is important to learn to realistically assess the existing danger.

At the same time, it is absolutely not necessary for a tolerant person to remain silent and pretend that the existing problem does not concern or concern him in any way. We can quite correctly and calmly convey our views to our opponents. If we talk about science, then it is “in dispute that truth is born.” If scientists did not argue among themselves, reason and debate, many scientific discoveries would not appear. But pay attention to the peculiarities of discussions in the scientific world. Scientific controversy never descends to insults and personalization. This is what we should learn.

Is it good to be tolerant and is it necessary?!

Tolerance is when you are forced out of your home and you do not resist. Bishop Irinarch.

In recent years, a certain “tolerance” has been increasingly imposed on us as a type of behavior of a modern person, which supposedly contributes to the formation and development of civil society in Russia and the prevention of extremism. But what is tolerance?

Tolerance comes from the Latin word “tolerantia” and means patience, patience, respect, acceptance and proper understanding of other cultures, ways of self-expression and manifestation of human individuality. It would seem that there is something bad here, but the fact of the matter is that there is nothing bad in these concepts. We are ready to be patient, respect the individuality of another person, another culture, religion, traditions and customs. But we are ready to do this only if we are respected as an individual, our culture, religion, traditions and customs. But this is where the problem arises; this is where all the hypocrisy of Western propagandists lies.

As Bishop Irinarch of Perm and Solikamsk writes: “...today we are faced with a new, non-traditional for Eastern Christian thinking version of the understanding of this overseas word, which came to us from England from the English word “tolerance”, meaning “readiness to favorably recognize, accept behavior, beliefs and views of other people that differ from your own. Moreover, even in the case when these beliefs and views are not shared or approved by you.”

That is, those who so persistently impose the notorious tolerance on us do not want this, but something completely different. They want us to unconditionally accept their way of life, but in relation to our values ​​they are completely intolerant, that is, they do not share our way of life and our values ​​and are intolerant of them, but want to destroy them for the sake of their values.

That is, instead of love for one’s neighbor, as is proclaimed in the Orthodox faith, instead of freedom of conscience in the spiritual sphere, they are trying to impose a kind of tolerance for all kinds of their nasties, abominations and outrages, which they have elevated to an ideal and, therefore, are trying to gradually transform our domestic Orthodox culture according to to their Western standards and ideas.

Their tolerance is equivalent to the Russian folk proverb: “The hawk kissed the hen to the last feather.” Are we really such foolish calves that we will go after someone else’s cow? I really want this not to happen, but, unfortunately, individuals and groups of people succumb to this influence and consider others to be dense barbarians who do not want to be enlightened and cultured Europeans.

I will also cite the wonderful words of Bishop Irinarch, who really showed who are the barbarians and who are the enlightened people in spirit: “It was our Orthodox, patient and long-suffering people who turned away many threats from the Western world and digested in themselves the invasion of nomads, and the hordes of Napoleon, and German fascism , and Soviet communism, and many other historical challenges, while preserving their Orthodox culture and the faith of their fathers - that internal core that firmly holds the identity of the Orthodox civilization of the Russian people.”

That is, a manifestation of tolerance and goodwill, only external, ostentatious, conditioned by their Western upbringing. A Westerner thinks like this: although I don’t agree with what’s happening, I’d rather keep my thoughts to myself. And indeed, with their vaunted democracy and tolerance, they can even kick you out of work and make you an outcast from society. So he tolerates all kinds of homosexuals, same-sex marriage, sex education for children from kindergarten.

All this notorious tolerance is simple hypocrisy. We also have good sayings on this topic: “there is honey on the tongue, and ice under the tongue,” “it will fit into the soul, but sell it for a penny.” How can one reach such an animal state, such shamelessness, as to make cartoons for children where the main characters are “poop” and “urine”.

How much must a child’s psyche be distorted that these “poops” and “pees” have become favorite cartoon characters. What can this be called, if not spiritual degradation, when all animal shamelessness turns outward. The great Russian scientist and philosopher Vladimir Solovyov more than a hundred years ago in his work “The Justification of Good. Moral Philosophy” wrote that the feeling of shame is “the natural root of human morality,” but, judge for yourself, if a person loses the sense of shame, then he becomes, at the very least, an immoral person. This is what this tolerance of “pee” and “poop” leads to. Further, V. Solovyov writes: “The deepest meaning of shame: what is ashamed, in the very mental act of shame, separates itself from what it is ashamed of - a person who is ashamed of animal nature in its fundamental process, thereby proves that he is not only a phenomenon or a process of this nature, but has an independent, superanimal meaning.” That is, Solovyov says that man is not an animal, but a highly developed being, however, a man who has lost shame becomes not only immoral, but approaches an animal state, while man, he further writes, “as a moral being, does not want to obey this natural law." At the same time, all Western propaganda of this false tolerance, on the contrary, pushes a person to turn into this shameless animal.

Western consumer society lives only on material things and completely rejects the spiritual nature of man, while according to Solovyov: “The opposition of the spiritual principle to material nature, which is expressed directly in shame.” This suggests that shame is a measure of a person’s spiritual and moral state and development. And the most important conclusion is made by V. Solovyov: “In comprehending the fact of shame, the mind logically deduces from it a necessary, universal and morally binding norm: the spontaneous life in a person must be subordinated to the spiritual.” Judging by what is offered to people by Western society, and not just offered, but promoted and persistently imposed, this cannot be called anything other than lack of spirituality and immorality.

For example, shame mobilizes our mind and will to change our behavior or state so as to avoid shame. Most people rarely act in defiance of shame. However, in Western society, a different idea is proclaimed: “down with shame,” do as you please and you will be happy.

Apparently, Western promoters of tolerance decided to implement Freud's ideas. The Austrian psychologist and founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, first described the process of a person suppressing his own thoughts and emotions. According to his theory, a person strives to eliminate from consciousness unpleasant or inappropriate ideas or painful emotions in a given situation, however, when repressed from consciousness, they do not disappear, but pass into the area of ​​the unconscious. So, unfelt and, as it were, emotionally unfinished traumatic memories and feelings (including shame), repressed into the subconscious, deplete a person’s mental energy, reducing his vitality and ability to be happy. And since unconscious feelings and emotions cannot be controlled, in order to avoid their destructive effects on health, a person must return them to consciousness and experience them to the end.

Therefore, Western society, in order to become happy, literally began to fulfill Freud’s commandments. It not only began to transfer from the unconscious everything negative that had accumulated there in order to relive and realize it, but also decided to show it in reality in the most immoral and shameless form. They do it right on the street. More than once we have seen pictures on TV of crowds of naked homosexuals, lesbians and others walking along the streets of cities, promoting their way of life; this is also shown in various television programs and even similar cartoons are created for children.

In addition to hypocrisy and shamelessness, the Western model of tolerance gradually promotes such feelings as indifference and indifference. This means that a person becomes not just tolerant, but also indifferent, or indifferent, indifferent to the behavior of another person, a different worldview or way of life, no matter what happens in society, good or bad, he simply doesn’t care. Everyone is well aware of the saying on this matter: “Do not be afraid of enemies - in the worst case, they can kill you. Don't be afraid of your friends - in the worst case, they can betray you. Fear the indifferent - they do not kill or betray, but only with their tacit consent does betrayal and murder exist on earth.”

From the point of view of the Western model of tolerance, a person must become a creature: hypocritical, vile, indifferent to everything that happens around him, and also unspiritual, without any moral restrictions. With such characteristics, the result is not a person, but just some kind of animal. Anton Pavlovich Chekhov wrote: “Indifference is paralysis of the soul.” So we are really seeing the paralysis of Western society.

Let me give another quote from Bishop Irinarch’s letter: “An attempt is being made to instill in our people the acceptability of vice. The true goal here is not the fight against extremism, but the desire to make money on human vices and weaknesses through gaming clubs, slot machines and casinos, through nightclubs, the porn industry, drug addiction, etc. Everyone knows that evil and vicious things are often easily absorbed a person, while in order to create virtues in oneself and resist sin and temptations, considerable efforts and God’s help are required.” Our media need to promote not some tolerance alien to us, which is based on the values ​​of “poop”, homosexuality and same-sex marriage that are completely incomprehensible to us, but the thousand-year heroic history of our people, our great ancestors, to cultivate patriotism, love and respect for our relatives and loved ones, to their Fatherland.

Our Russian people should not only be tolerant or tolerant of other people with a different way of life, but he should simply be a decent person, sensitive and attentive, friendly and responsive, honest and incorruptible, noble and generous, cheerful and sociable, kind-hearted and merciful . Someone will say that this is a portrait of an ideal person and there are no such people, by no means, there are such people, it’s a pity that there are very few of them. I would like there to be as many of them as possible, and then there would be no need to promote some kind of incomprehensible tolerance.

The truth is that absolutely perfect people do not exist. However, we can cite dozens more positive qualities that people possess. The positive qualities of a person make him someone to whom everyone is happy, someone who is ready to help not only his neighbor, but also a complete stranger. People who truly love this life are the happiest. For comfort they do not need any luxury, wealth, or money. They just live and enjoy what they have. Cheerful people are able to infect everyone around them with their love for life.

These are the kind of people you need to be, and there is no tolerance for you.

Nikolay STUPIN.
patience, Western society, individuality, modern man, respect

Why is tolerance needed?

In the 21st century, the life of mankind has changed dramatically. Today the world is open as never before, and every year it becomes even more open. Tolerance is necessary in order to improve mutual understanding between different nations, strengthen mutually beneficial cooperation between countries and further accelerate the development of humanity.

Understanding that all people have the right to their own worldview will help avoid serious conflicts in the future. However, no one is obliged to tolerate views, ideas and actions that pose a clear threat to other people. The essence of a tolerant society is to ensure maximum equality and complete security for everyone. Therefore, contrary to the fears of various critics, tolerance does not imply a tolerant attitude towards various manifestations of evil.

Where did the word tolerance come from?

Tolerance comes from the Latin word “tolerantia”, which means patience, endurance, endurance. The term tolerance was first used when writing the Edict of Nantes in 1598. With this edict, King Henry IV of Bourbon of France decided to end the religious wars that had rocked the country for many decades. Equalizing the rights of Catholics and Huguenots, the king called for religious tolerance and an end to persecution on religious grounds.

Edict of Nantes

Tolerance, from the point of view of psychology, is an exclusively human ability to show patience towards phenomena that are alien or unpleasant to oneself. By nature, people differ in appearance, habits, traditions, and each of them has the right to freedom, preserving their individuality.

People are designed in such a way that on a subconscious level they are drawn to their own kind. Using nonverbal symbols, they unite with other individuals with whom they have something in common, forming a kind of community. A person can simultaneously belong to many communities. This is a circle of friends, colleagues and other groups of interests. Religion, profession, nationality, sport unite people, but can cause conflicts with individuals who belong to another community.

Awareness of freedom and defending one’s own beliefs is the main condition for the development of personality. The concept of tolerance presupposes the understanding that another person may have the same freedom and beliefs. The ability to accept the fact of differences between individuals indicates confidence in one's own positions. A tolerant person can show empathy and look at the world through the eyes of his opponent. This does not mean that you need to share someone else's beliefs and change yourself. It is enough to accept these differences and show loyalty.

Tolerance and intolerance go hand in hand in society. In all reference books, intolerance is deciphered as intolerance, xenophobia, conflict, extremism, etc. By definition, intolerance is an unconscious division of society along the lines of “friend or foe” and active rejection of “outsiders.” As a rule, this rejection is based on prejudices and prejudices that are characteristic of each subject. An extreme degree of intolerance leads to terrorism and conflicts, even open military action.

By declaring the inadmissibility of intolerance, they miss one very important thing. Every coin has two sides, and people also have many sides. During the period of personality formation, adolescents develop constructive or destructive intolerance.

Constructive intolerance helps a teenager develop self-identification as an individual. From the moment of his birth, a person finds himself in a society that imposes its rules on him from all sides. School, parents, friends, everyone is trying to remake the personality to suit their needs. At the same time, the desires and ambitions of the person himself are absolutely not taken into account. In this case, intolerance acts as a protective mechanism of the psyche, which allows the individual to resist external pressure and develop independently.

According to research by psychologists, teenagers who do not have intolerance also do not have ambitions, goals and life plans. They have reduced self-esteem and difficulties in personal development.

Why is it so important to talk about this with children?

In 2004, an incident that was striking in its cruelty occurred in St. Petersburg. A native of Tajikistan was returning from the skating rink with his 8-year-old daughter and nephew. Suddenly a group of armed teenagers jumped out at them shouting “Russia is for the Russians!” started beating the family. As a result, the man received a closed head injury, his nephew received knife wounds, and the girl could not be saved - she died from loss of blood.

This story is far from isolated. Hatred towards representatives of other nationalities begins almost from kindergarten, when migrant children are mocked not only by children, but also by teachers.

The same atmosphere reigns in schools: Tajik and Uzbek schoolchildren are subject to bullying and violence, especially if they have language problems and difficulties with adaptation.

This is evidenced by data from a sociological study conducted in September 2022 among students of Russian schools. 33.6% of respondents confirmed that they faced humiliation and ridicule from classmates because of their national characteristics.

Our children do not live in a vacuum. They, like sponges, absorb all views, attitudes and moods in society. And they don't become violent on their own. They are driven to this by the indifference of their parents, uncontrolled access to information in the media that traumatizes children’s psyches, and ignorance of cases of bullying at school. According to a 2022 study of students aged 11 to 17, 72% of respondents reported incidents of bullying to teachers and other adults, but the situation was never resolved.

All this awakens aggression and intolerance in children, which can subsequently develop into racism and nationalism.

Therefore, the task of parents is not just to tell their children about the existence of racial, religious and national differences between people, but also to teach them to accept and respect them.

Find out if your child is being bullied by peers or other adults when you are not around! Listen to what is happening around, see where the child is and call in any situation with the “Where are my children” application.

What should a child know about tolerance and respect for people?

Even for an adult, the topic of tolerance is quite difficult. It's even harder to talk about this with your own child.

But the longer parents put off such a conversation, the higher the likelihood that the child will form his own beliefs under the influence of society. And there is no guarantee that he will show tolerance and respect for people of other nationalities.

When starting to discuss the topic of tolerance with a child, mothers and fathers need to keep in mind the characteristics of age.

for babies to choose playmates with the same skin color as their own.

At the same time, at 3-4 years old they already begin to pay attention to racial differences. For example, a child on the street may say: “Mom, look, this boy is black!” Or: “Why does this girl have such narrow eyes?”

Advice for parents of preschoolers:

Read books and watch cartoons with your child on the topic of tolerance towards people who are somehow different from us

Discuss with your child how important it is not only to treat them with respect, but also not to be afraid to show it to others.

Here is a list of cartoons that you can watch with your preschooler.

Cartoons about racial differences:

1. "Zootopia" (2016, USA).
2. "Boniface's Vacation" (1965, USSR).
3. “At the Port” (1975, USSR).
4. “Friendship of Peoples” (2015, Russia).

Cartoons about a tolerant attitude towards children with special needs:

1. “A neat story” (2014, Russia).
2. “Gift” (2015, Germany).
3. “About Dima” (2016, Russia).
4. “Anatole’s Saucepan” (2014, France).
5. “Strings” (2014, Spain).
6. "Tamara" (2013, USA).
7. “The Unusual Little Brother” (1995, France).
8. “My brother from the moon” (2007, France).

If your child pays attention to the national or racial differences of other children, focus on this point

“Yes, this boy has really dark skin. The girl Masha from your group wears glasses, and our neighbor Asema has a narrow eye shape. We are all different, and that’s great!”

Just teach him not to speak out publicly and not to point fingers at people, this is uncivilized and impolite towards them.

It will be useful if you purchase for your child a set of dolls or figurines of different races and nationalities

And at the same time, tell us about their traditions and customs. You can also buy colorful books with pictures about the history of the peoples of the world.

Your main task is to introduce your child to a world where a huge number of people live, and they are all somehow different from each other. This will be the child’s first step on the path to kindness and a tolerant attitude towards everyone around him.

At primary school age, you can already talk with children not only about the differences between representatives of different nations and cultures, but also about the negative attitude of some people towards them - about racism and nationalism.

Advice for parents of schoolchildren:

Explain all concepts in a language that is accessible and understandable to the child.

For example:

• racism is when someone hates a person just because they have a different skin color;
• Nationalism is love for one's Motherland. But it can be both good and bad. It’s good when you are proud of your country, your people and culture, but bad is when you think that only your nation is the best and begin to hate representatives of other nations;
• Discrimination is an unfair treatment, humiliation of a person because he is somehow different from you.

Discuss the issue of tolerance and discrimination with your child in the form of an active dialogue

Ask if there are children of other nationalities or children with special needs in his class and how he feels about them. Find out whether these children are being ridiculed by their classmates and whether it is fair to humiliate people for being different from us.

Visit the festivals of national cultures taking place in your city with your son or daughter

Try traditional dishes, chat with representatives of different nations. Convey to your child that diversity makes our world richer and more amazing, and the centuries-old history of every people or culture is worthy of respect. This is what happened before us and will remain after us.

Watch movies together that focus on race.

Discuss with your child what solution he sees to this issue and whether it is worth fighting discrimination at all.

Movies for family viewing:

1. “Just Mercy” (2019, USA).
2. “Fences” (2016, USA).
3. “Alien Hate” (2018, USA).
4. "Green Book" (2018, USA).
5. "Skin" (2008, UK).

By adolescence, children begin to form their own beliefs and values, often under the influence of peers and public sentiment.

Unfortunately, many begin to hold discriminatory views regarding both national and other differences between people. Intolerance can develop into bullying and humiliation, and from here it is not far to nationalistic beliefs.

Tips for parents of teenagers:

1. Show your child your clear position on racism and nationalism.
2. Pay attention to your teenager's extracurricular life. As a rule, those children who have neither hobbies nor interests join nationalist groups.
3. Teach your son or daughter not to stand aside, help the weak, and be sure to report cases of violence and bullying to adults.