- September 5, 2018
- Mental disorders
- Denis Dmitriev
At all times, there has been a category of people who do not like society in all its manifestations. Such misanthropes were called misanthropes, and the disease was called misanthropy. Such people have recently become popular in media culture. Directors and book authors choose people with this character trait as the main characters in films and literary works.
Who is a misanthrope
Misanthropy is a state of personality when an extreme form of individualism and conscious opposition of oneself to society is manifested. Sometimes misanthropy turns into a phobia, fear of people (anthrophobia).
A misanthrope is a person who tends to avoid people and suffer from mistrust, suspicion, and pessimism. In simple words, it is disgust towards humanity as a whole, alienation.
How did the term come about?
The term misanthrope originated in Ancient Greece. It is based on two Greek words, "misos" - hatred and "anthropos" - man. The literal translation is “misanthropy.”
The concept of misanthropy comes from prominent scientists and philosophers. In order to fully immerse themselves in science, they were forced to seriously limit social contacts.
Scientists walked around, immersed in their thoughts, often answered inappropriately, and often refused invitations and friendly meetings. Ordinary people did not understand the true reasons for this behavior, so they classified them as misanthropes and thought that they hated people.
Misanthropy - is it a disease or a norm?
Mental illnesses and character traits can sometimes be very difficult to distinguish between. It is not clear whether the matter is the person’s bad character, or whether he simply cannot behave differently. The misanthrope acquires a quality, becomes such because of the course of life and his own environment.
There are frequent cases of serious psychological trauma, difficult events, moral or physical violence.
Misanthropy is not a norm, but a mental deviation. There are clinics and specialists who help patients with this diagnosis. However, some doctors still do not recognize misanthropy as an official medical term.
Misanthropy, congenital or acquired
Most scientists agree that misanthropy or misanthropy is an exclusively acquired quality that is formed under the pressure of life circumstances and the environment.
People prone to increased honesty, mercy, and compassion often turn into misanthropes. The reason is disappointment in people, betrayal.
Those who give up easily
Without love for others, a person will not win their favor. He will understand that he has extracted the maximum desired benefit from the communication and will forget about the interlocutor. He doesn't care what happens next.
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Lack of interest in personal growth
People who do not love others care little about themselves. They suffer from low salaries and problems at work, but are not ready to make efforts for personal growth and development.
Types of hatred in misanthropy
The misanthrope hates the world around him, so he dreams of moving away from it. He deeply despises the imperfections of this world.
Scientists, to some extent, equate misanthropes with marginalized or declassed individuals. A marginal is a person who is on the border of different social groups and does not belong to any one.
The misanthrope is interesting because he can experience different types of hatred separately or simultaneously.
Hatred of people
Hatred towards a person or towards humanity as a whole is a common occurrence for a misanthrope. Although, some individuals still maintain good or friendly relationships with certain individuals. This happens because the misanthrope hates those traits that are characteristic of the vast majority of people.
The misanthrope also hates people because of the traumatic factors and events that they may have caused him.
Example: a person does not want to build connections with anyone, not because people have offended or betrayed him (at the moment), but only because they are people.
Hate everything
In some sources, hatred of everything around us is called misomania. The phenomenon has been practically unstudied, as it is rare. It is considered the most critical form of manifestation of misanthropy.
Example: a person hates life, people around him and events in all forms.
Self-hatred
Misanthropy often involves hating oneself as a member of the human species.
A person deliberately isolates himself from society. This is not due to the fact that he is too proud or has too high an opinion of himself. He just devalued himself as a person so much that he doesn’t even try to build social connections anymore.
A person lacks such concepts as self-love, adequate self-esteem, and positive ideas about himself. He destroys himself and cannot break out of this vicious circle.
Example: something bad happened to a person, for which he feels guilty. He is disgusted with himself and believes that society treats him the same way. For himself, he decided to no longer enter into social contacts.
Egocentrists
In the vocabulary of such people, the main words are “I” and “me.” It is important for them to communicate their point of view to others, regardless of the inappropriateness of such a statement. Egocentric people demonstrate uncompromising behavior towards anyone other than themselves.
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Reasons for dislike of people and yourself
A misanthrope doesn't just appear. Many factors contribute to the accumulation of negative attitudes in a person. Not everyone has enough mental strength and resources to cope with them and not turn into a misanthrope.
The causes of misanthropy are often associated with severe, traumatic events:
Traumas from childhood
You don't have to experience a major childhood shock to become a misanthrope. It is enough that the child does not have good family relationships.
His parents raise him very strictly with full confidence that they act exclusively for the good. The child is often left alone with his negative thoughts and sorrows. Gradually he becomes disillusioned with people and believes that everyone has abandoned him.
Childhood traumas can live in the soul for a long time and prevent a person from noticing how wonderful life is.
Errors in education
If parents raise a child incorrectly, then he develops a feeling of insecurity. In the process of education, it is important to maintain the “golden mean”. It is also bad not to pay any attention to the child at all and to constantly protect and warn him.
In both cases, a suspicious person grows up, not ready to engage in conversation or interact with others. It seems to them that the world is very cruel, and traitors lie in wait for them at every corner.
Betrayal of loved ones
A misanthrope can grow up in a seemingly prosperous family, but face betrayal, pressure or punishment. It is a rare child who can cope with negativity directed at him, beatings, and moral pressure.
Children usually harbor resentment deep inside themselves.
The world around them, represented by those closest to them, is hostile to them, so they also stop trusting it and become misanthropes. At best, they simply grow up to be dissatisfied bores and grumps.
Dissatisfaction with life
Not everyone manages to achieve significant heights in life, especially right away. Again, not everyone can properly accept defeat and start trying again.
Someone becomes disappointed, gives up, and stops believing in their own capabilities. It seems to him that nothing good will happen. Internal experiences do not allow the individual to respond to events occurring in the external world.
Often the thought comes to mind that the entire world around them is to blame for their failures, but not the person himself. This happens at the subconscious level.
High intelligence
Highly intelligent people have very developed critical thinking. They constantly notice the shortcomings of other people, question everything, and are accustomed to analyzing every action.
Over time, the misanthrope begins to be proud of his intellect, acquired knowledge, and level of education. This provokes a disdainful attitude towards other people.
Disappointment in people
The most logical and explainable reason why misanthropy occurs. A person was offended, betrayed or treated ugly. Perhaps it was not just one offender who was involved in this, but a whole group of them.
The future misanthrope could not resist them, so he chose the path of quiet hatred.
Increased sensitivity
People with increased mental sensitivity are prone to constant stress, anxiety, and worry. They may idealize or romanticize reality, and then be bitterly disappointed in this. They are unable to restructure their thinking less radically, which is why they begin to hate everyone.
Mental illness
Misanthropy rarely occurs on its own. Often it can be accompanied by various mental and psychological diseases and deviations.
The most common of them are increased anxiety, a tendency to depression, manic behavior, and paranoia.
What is our “critical inner voice”?
This “critical inner voice” exists in all of us, constantly reminding us that we are not good enough and do not deserve what we want. In her book Yes Please, comedian Amy Poehler described this internal enemy as "the voice of the demon." She wrote: “This very patient and determined demon shows up in your bedroom one day and refuses to leave. You are six, twelve or fifteen, and you look in the mirror and hear a voice so terrible that it takes your breath away. He tells you that you are fat and ugly and don't deserve love. And the worst thing is that the demon is your own voice.”
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The critical inner voice in some of us tends to be louder and angrier than in others, and tends to pester us more or less at different points in our lives. However, one thing is certain. As long as we listen to this dangerous critic distorting our reality, we cannot truly trust our own perception of what others think of us.
Most likely, it is this destructive “voice” that we hear every time we say to ourselves: “Nobody likes me.” This voice also teaches us to avoid situations where we might get to know people. It makes us shut up in social situations, makes us nervous, so we don't act like ourselves. It confuses us with its constant stream of self-deprecating observations and self-limiting advice, leaving us anxious and depressed. In turn, it takes us out of shape in a way that creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When we lose confidence or self-esteem, we no longer act like ourselves. We may even achieve the outcome that our critical inner voice warned us about, feeling isolated or having difficulty communicating with others. “Be quiet,” the voice barks. “You will only disgrace yourself! Can't you see how stupid you are? Nobody wants you around. You don't add anything. Just be alone! Stop trying. NOBODY LIKES YOU!”
How does a misanthrope differ from other psychotypes?
Dislike for people often takes different forms. It is difficult for a person without special knowledge to follow this, much less differentiate between concepts. People often confuse a misanthrope and an introvert, a social phobe and a sociopath.
| Psychotype | Vivid behavioral traits |
| Sociopath | The attitude towards society is very ambiguous. Today it is difficult for him to sit in a crowded audience, and tomorrow he does his best to attract people’s attention with ridiculous clothes and the same antics |
| Social phobe | He does not treat people badly, hostilely or with hatred. He's just afraid of them. It is difficult for such a person to be in a large group of people, to communicate with them, or to speak in public. |
| Introvert | They do not have behavioral deviations and interact quite successfully with society and establish contacts. It's all a matter of personal preference. They are much more comfortable being alone with themselves, being “in themselves” |
| Misanthrope | People for him are an object of hatred and condemnation. He openly hates them, and sometimes even despises them |
A video about two opposites - misanthropes and philanthropists.
Irresponsible
People who do not love others try not to notice their own guilt for situations or relationships. They are not inclined to analyze their behavior and correct shortcomings.
Always asking for forgiveness and making excuses
Even if such a person admits a mistake, he immediately finds a lot of excuses for his actions. For example, that he was drunk or did not sleep well.
Making excuses and apologizing is a common thing for people without self-esteem who are incapable of loving others.
How to communicate with a misanthrope
It is very difficult to communicate, make friends, or build harmonious relationships with a person who does not like people. When communicating with such people, it is important to follow a number of unspoken rules:
- Do not engage in heated discussions and arguments with him, try to avoid sharp corners during conversations.
- Try not to touch on social, moral, moral topics in the conversation.
- If it is clear that the misanthrope is not in the mood for a productive dialogue, then it is better to reschedule it for a more opportune time.
- If you have to come into frequent contact with a misanthrope, for example, on duty, then you will have to win his trust and affection.
- Try not to show a negative attitude towards him, be tactful and kind.
Misanthropes have a special appeal, especially young and enthusiastic young ladies who adore everything unattainable and romantic.
Misanthropic individuals are quite capable of building romantic and friendly relationships that can be described as strong and harmonious.
What to do for someone who has fallen in love with a misanthrope:
- A potential soulmate should not rush things.
- You should not “strangle” a misanthrope with your love, attention and care. It turns them off. You will have to at least sometimes give him time to rest, recharge, and be alone.
- Do not consider him soulless and callous. In fact, misanthropes are not such.
Have you ever fallen in love with a misanthrope? Share, at what age did this happen, and how did the novel end?
With emotional deprivation disorders
Emotional deprivation is a disorder caused by a syndrome (group of symptoms) that occurs due to a complete lack of emotional connection with other people.
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People who are not aware of their own uniqueness, who do not know virtue in adolescence, experience problems with emotional development. They are unable to maintain relationships, because the stock of knowledge necessary for this is missing.
Demanding support and understanding from such a person is as illogical as entrusting a surgical operation to a person without medical education. Most likely, even in childhood, people deprived of the ability to love did not have the opportunity to demonstrate their feelings to their parents. This leads to problems in mature relationships.
How do people feel about misanthropes?
Most people do not share the worldview of misanthropes. They are sure that only actions and thoughts can be hated and condemned, and not the person himself.
Some people feel sorry for misanthropes and sympathize with them, since at the root of this condition is the deepest self-dislike and serious childhood trauma.
Some people are sincerely annoyed by their excessive demands on others and their constant criticism. This, in their understanding, is not considered the norm of behavior in modern society.
Undoubtedly, their behavior is often repulsive, if not disgusting. But many people still want to make friends with them, or even enter into a romantic relationship.
How do you feel about misanthropes? Why do they make you feel this way?
What to do if no one likes you
Decide what your problem sounds like to you, how you formulate it for yourself. It could be “nobody likes me” or “I’m scary and no one likes me” or something else. Find the phrase that is most painful for you, which most fully and clearly articulates your attitude towards this.
Get yourself a piece of paper and a pencil - you may also need them.
Sit down in your chair, set your alarm clock for exactly one hour, close your eyes and repeat your phrase monotonously to yourself during this time. All the time, without interruption, without distraction, without paying attention to anything else - until the alarm clock rings!
What are we doing this way? We literally erase this negative program from your subconscious, using scientific knowledge about the effect of dosed monotony on the human brain. If you want to learn more about this, look through my blog, here is all the information you need to understand about it.
Is misanthropy possible in the digital age?
The concept of misanthropy in the digital age ceases to seem possible. People exist online; real communication has begun to be replaced by self-presentation and virtual interaction.
Because of life in virtual space, a person can become a complete misanthrope. He no longer has to go to visit, meet friends or go to the office. Everything can be done with the help of gadgets.
You can recall dystopian novels in which they tried to create an ideal society, without misanthropes, sociopaths, maniacs and other unpleasant personalities.
They tried to launch such a program in modern China. It is unknown what this will lead to, but in modern society misanthropy is not only not held in high esteem, but must be eradicated.
A funny example of misanthropy in the video and comments from a psychologist.
Tags
Such misanthropes were named by no less than me, which is why
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Does misontropia need to be corrected?
Scientists agree that misanthropy needs to be fought. It is advisable to do this before it becomes a mental disorder.
If misanthropy is not controlled, it can go beyond reasonable boundaries. A misanthrope can harm members of society.
It is possible to overcome the feeling of hatred towards a person or the whole world, but this must be done slowly and consistently. It is worth influencing a misanthrope gently and wisely, giving the right arguments and explaining the consequences of behavior.
Inability to idealize
Oddly enough, from the point of view of psychiatry, the inability (inability) to love is literally a painful condition. In psychiatry, the inability to experience this feeling is often equated to a severe neurotic disorder. Why? For the reason that the person who seeks advice from a psychiatrist or psychotherapist has certain traits and symptoms that indicate pathology. Among which there is an inability and unwillingness to experience romantic feelings.
The very feeling of love presupposes a conditional idealization of the chosen object, be it another person or life in general, the world around us. If a person cannot or does not want to prescribe ideal traits to an object, she will not be able to truly love. The basis of such inability or reluctance, as a rule, lies fear: fear of attachment, fear of disappointment, fear of moral pain, fear of dependence, and so on. Experts note that very often people who do not know how to love are vulnerable, sensitive, anxious, suspicious and fragile.
