Why your married man will never leave his wife

Divorces in the modern world have long become commonplace. But, despite this, even after dissolving the official marriage and dividing the acquired property, a man may unexpectedly face the problem of how to forget his ex-wife. The time spent by the former spouses together will forever be preserved in their memory. But how to get rid of memories that traumatize the soul?

In appearance, many men look quite stern.
And, although they are more restrained than women, they also worry and get nervous if their family life collapses. Their memories of the children left with their ex-wife are especially disturbing. Now you won't have to see them as often as before. Articles on the topic

• Moral betrayal - how does a combination of external factors destroy a family? 03/14/2021
• Some advice for a wife on how to behave after her husband’s betrayal 03/14/2021
• A strong family is the basis of a civilized society 02/08/2021
• Main characteristics of the institution of family and its role in society 02/08/2021

Male alcoholism - what is it?

Male alcoholism is a severe, difficult-to-treat disease that gradually destroys all areas of a person’s life: physical and mental health, family, work, social and financial status, moral values.

The difficulty in diagnosis and treatment lies in the fact that the addict is rarely aware of the fact of his own addiction, therefore in the practice of narcologists there are rarely cases when a man seeks help himself. Relatives of an alcoholic: wives, children, parents ask for treatment. It also happens that the main psychological burden falls on the shoulders of loved ones, because along with a sincere desire to help a husband, son or father recover, one must continue one’s own life.

Click here to view the conditions, tariffs and prices for treatment

Types of male alcoholism

Alcoholism is classified according to several indicators. The basis can be based on gender (male and female), age (children and adults), type of alcohol, nature of alcohol consumption, stage of addiction, etc.

Based on the frequency and nature of alcohol consumption, narcologists define 5 types of addiction: chronic, binge drinking, secret, beer alcoholism, and domestic drunkenness. Let's look at each of them in a little more detail.

Chronic alcoholism

Characterized by regular consumption of alcohol in large quantities. For a chronic alcoholic, the strength and type of alcohol are not important. 3 stages of chronic alcoholism gradually develop:

1. Psychological dependence without physical need: a person likes to experience a state of intoxication, the amount of alcohol gradually increases.
2. Physical dependence begins after ethanol begins to participate in metabolic processes and the body simply cannot function without a dose of alcohol.
3. The third stage is the development of severe withdrawal symptoms, intoxication after a small dose of alcohol, damage to internal organs, and personality degradation.

Binge drinking

A binge alcoholic may not drink for a long time, but at any moment he can break down and start drinking a lot and uncontrollably: from several days to several weeks. Depending on the type and degree of binge drinking, an alcoholic can get out of this state on his own, however, if the binge lasts more than five days and is accompanied by physical and mental changes, one cannot do without the help of narcologists.

Secret (hidden) alcoholism

To a greater extent, public figures and people with high social status suffer from this type of alcoholism. It is dangerous because the disease progresses in any case, and at some point it is no longer possible to hide the addiction, since the disease is reflected in appearance and behavior.

Domestic drunkenness

Its main symptom is that the amount of drinking remains more or less constant. A person can cope with this type of alcoholism on his own, since he may feel guilty about his incontinence.

Beer alcoholism

It occupies a special place in the dependency hierarchy. The leading sign is the appearance of a female-type beer belly. Beer alcoholics often drink a portion of beer in the morning to “energize”, and end the day by taking an increased dose of beer - up to 3 or more liters. Beer alcoholics have reduced or no potency.

Symptoms and signs of alcoholism in men

Alcohol addiction changes a person beyond recognition. Surely, both next to you and on the Internet, you could see how a person’s appearance changes after the disease has taken hold of a man. External changes are reinforced by changes in behavior and character.

External signs

It is impossible to make a mistake if a man exhibits the following signs:

• Swelling, especially in the cheeks and eyelids.
• Enlarged, purple nose with pronounced vascular network.
• Tremor of the limbs.
• Dull, brittle hair, baldness.
• If beer alcoholism: weight gain, gynecomastia, characteristic beer belly.
• A reddish tint to the skin as a result of stress vasodilation.
• Sloppiness, unpleasant odor emanating from the body.

If you find these signs in your husband, you should remember that early treatment can completely rid him of addiction quite quickly. The main thing is to go to the clinic on time.

Changes in behavior

There are no exceptions here - any addicted man experiences changes in behavior. This could be aggression, apathy, depression, recklessness, quarrelsomeness, the desire to start a scandal, anxiety. Behavior can vary from unbridled joy to sudden aggression and even physical violence.

An alcoholic has only one value system: another dose of alcohol. Everything else is either indifferent to him or causes irritation.

Signs of chronic alcoholism in men

You can talk about chronic addiction if your husband or loved one exhibits the following signs:

• The man experiences a strong craving for alcohol.
• There is no vomiting reaction.
• The habit of “treating” a hangover with a morning dose of alcohol.
• Uncontrolled drinking of alcohol to the point of unconsciousness.

A chronic alcoholic wants to drink at any opportunity, he does not need a reason. Gradually the man degrades as a person.

Stages of alcohol dependence in men

All men develop addiction differently. It all depends on the initial indicators of personality and physical health. However, it is safe to say that physical dependence can manifest itself in as little as 6-12 months after starting regular alcohol consumption.

First stage

It is characterized by a psychological craving for alcohol: a man drinks every time he experiences stress. At the same time, it finds an explanation for any reason for use: a holiday, a difficult day, etc. Gradually, the man ceases to control the amount of alcohol he drinks.

Second stage

Characterized by the development of binge drinking. During periods of enlightenment in a state of abstinence, a man “cures” a hangover with a glass of alcohol. Cognitive functions are gradually lost and physical cravings develop. The man ceases to be interested in his old life.

Third stage

Drunkenness becomes almost uncontrollable. At this stage, withdrawal becomes painful, and rapid personality degradation occurs. Physical health is seriously impaired, leading to irreversible consequences. The appearance changes: swelling, tremors of the limbs, and hyperemia appear.

What to do if a man regularly drinks alcohol

If addiction is developing, the best solution is to seek help from a drug treatment clinic; only there they will offer optimally comprehensive treatment that combines various techniques.

Rehabilitation

Our clinic offers a rehabilitation course for alcohol addicts, after which your husband will be able to confidently and consciously accept a healthy life without alcohol. Rehabilitation takes place within the walls of the clinic in isolation, where the man will be completely free from the temptations of the outside world.

Experienced psychologists and psychotherapists conduct individual and group sessions with both addicts and their loved ones. Thanks to the work of psychologists, the negativity in a man’s life is redirected into awakening willpower, restoring social connections and moral guidelines.

Our patients leave the clinic as practically healthy people.

Psychological help

The work of a psychologist begins from the very beginning of treatment, as soon as you contact us. Alcoholics rarely admit the fact of their addiction, but thanks to a motivational conversation that a psychologist will conduct using special psychotechniques, your husband will agree to further treatment and rehabilitation.

A psychologist will be able to prove to an alcoholic that he is strong enough to cope with the cravings that are destroying his life. Gradually, the doctor brings the alcoholic out of depression to such an extent that the weak-willed person becomes a confident and strong-willed man.

Drug treatment

Traditional medicine has many ways to combat alcoholism, and drug treatment is effective.

Treatment begins with a detoxification drip to cleanse the body of alcohol. The doctor prescribes comprehensive symptomatic treatment to restore the functioning of internal organs. Additional medications help restore mental health.

Medication and psychotherapeutic coding allows you to establish a barrier between alcohol and the desire to use it.

However, in order to eradicate physical cravings, serious psychotherapeutic work is needed - only in this case can we talk about a complete cure for a man.

12 steps

This is a technique that has proven itself in the best drug treatment clinics in the world. The program allows the addict to realize the fact of the problem, to understand where its source is, in order to subsequently find meaning in existence.

The 12 Steps program is a path to spiritual development, self-improvement, a chance to change and start a healthy life in which there is no place for addiction.

The advantage of the program is that you can go to self-help groups even without being in the clinic, and relatives of addicts can also take advantage of it.

Traditional methods

Trying to cure their husband of alcoholism, some resort to unconventional methods of treatment.

• These are mainly herbs, herbs, bee products or pharmaceutical medicines that are added to alcohol or to the food of an alcoholic in order to develop an aversion to alcohol. This is an ineffective and sometimes dangerous method because valuable time is wasted. Such treatment rarely helps, and only in the early stages of alcoholism.
• Another dead-end method of treating a man for addiction is turning to witch doctors, healers or psychics. Such specialists promise mountains of gold, but in reality, the drinker’s wife simply loses a lot of money and time on this, of course.
• The same can be said about prayers, conspiracies, and magical rituals. No and no again! Don't do this. This is further disappointment and wasted time. If you believe in God, pray for your own peace of mind, but remember that prayer will not cure your husband's alcoholism.

What not to do during a breakup?

Even the fact that you are breaking up does not give you the right to humiliate each other or make any disrespectful gestures.

What not to do?	Why?
Toss and doubt	Doubt will make you feel guilty, ungrateful. A woman will also not be happy if you suddenly knock on her door one fine morning. If they broke up, then they broke up.
Leave silently	Some men believe that leaving without talking is a very noble and masculine act. On the contrary, this way you will not show your best side. You can’t just pack your things and silently head out. It's just an escape from the problem.
Insult a woman	Humiliating and insulting is the last thing you can do. Even if she cheated on you with your best friend, and even on your bed, restrain yourself. There is no point in remembering her mother, much less characterizing her. Don't show your weakness, remain a man.
Be subject to blackmail	Often abandoned women resort to manipulation and blackmail. No matter how tough he may be (“I will commit suicide,” “Children will suffer without you”), do not fall for it.

How can a man quit alcohol on his own?

Quitting drinking on your own is difficult, but possible, unless the addiction has turned into physical craving and we are not talking about stage 2 of alcoholism.

Awareness of the problem

You need powerful motivation to drown out the need for artificial stimulation of the body.

It is important to establish the root causes that force you to reach for the bottle over and over again. The most common:

• Alcohol relieves stress.
• Drinking gives you self-confidence.
• A small amount of alcohol is good for your health.
• Alcohol addiction cannot be cured (the principle is that then there is no need to quit).

Each of these reasons is insignificant and is easily refuted by both simple logic and medical facts. Suffice it to say that if you eliminate alcohol from your life, then no loss will occur. But addiction can take everything away.

Changing an established lifestyle

Although the support of loved ones and friends is important, it is more important to support yourself, to remind yourself that this is a path that you need to go through yourself. Internal confidence in the correctness of the decision will help you move on to practical actions that will help you get rid of your destructive addiction.

What to do with cravings for alcohol?

Our advice is to create such conditions and lifestyle for yourself that thoughts about alcohol are completely replaced by the need for a fulfilling life. And these conditions are not at all difficult.

1. Tell your family and friends about your decision. This way you will enlist their support, and no one will come to visit with an unexpected temptation in the form of alcohol.
2. Avoid alcohol anywhere. The sight of alcohol can cause additional stress, so it should be completely removed from the home and parties and events where alcohol is served should be avoided. Avoid liquor stores, beer stores, and liquor departments in stores. If a feast cannot be avoided, find a compromise or a plausible excuse not to drink. You will find such strength within yourself.
3. Good sleep and nutrition. A sleep-deprived or hungry body is a strong provocateur. If basic physiological needs are met, then the body is relaxed and protected from stress; it does not need additional stimulation.
4. Reward yourself. A sober lifestyle should be enjoyable. So choose entertainment, shop, plan a trip.
5. Make a plan so you don't leave yourself with free time. The busy pace of life is a barrier to the pointless waste of a period of life with a bottle of alcohol.
6. Take up a hobby. Maybe it will be a forgotten activity from childhood or something spied on the Internet. It is important to create factors that replace the desire to drink.
7. Physical exercise. Sports and physical labor are not the only loads that are so important for good heart function. Physical activity promotes the production of happiness hormones.
8. We understand that quitting alcohol on your own is difficult. There will be moments when you want to give up on everything. Sessions with a psychologist will help you stay on your chosen path and achieve your desired goal - a sober life.

When you realize that everything is working out, your new lifestyle will tell you which healthy habits and activities give you maximum pleasure.

Ways to help you forget your ex-wife

It is impossible to simply stop loving a person - it will take time. But you will help yourself if you think less about the past. According to the advice of psychologists, you need to reduce provoking factors and fill your free time.

Remove all reminders of her

The brain loves to build associative connections. Objects, places and even smells easily remind us of the person we associate them with. Do you want to forget your ex-wife? Get rid of what brings her image to mind:

• if you still have her things, collect them in a box and give them to her;
• Avoid visiting your first dates and family vacation spots for a while;
• delete her contacts on your phone and social networks;
• erase her photos.

A woman can try to remind herself, especially when she realizes that she is being forgotten. This is a common sense of ownership and selfishness. Remember what happened to Oleg? His ex-wife brought him back, but then left him anyway. Don’t repeat his mistake and don’t fall for provocations - don’t answer calls or messages in instant messengers.

Get rid of guilt

Since society places more demands on men, it is difficult for them to get rid of the guilt they feel after a breakup. But there are two sides to a marriage, not just one. Both bear responsibility.

Yes, you hurt your ex-wife. And she hurt you. This is the essence of human relationships. There is no need to carry this burden alone and engage in self-flagellation. Even if you were wrong, you can't fix it. But there is a lesson to be learned.

People have a great quality. And it lies in the ability to learn from your mistakes.

Take care of your career

Immerse yourself in your work. Ask your superiors to give you more assignments, start developing professional skills. Set a goal to climb the career ladder. Transforming the energy of anger and disappointment into the work process will help you not think about your ex-wife. A promotion and salary increase will be a pleasant bonus.

Join a gym

When we are in a state of love, the brain produces hormones of happiness and joy - serotonin, endorphin, oxytocin. Depression causes a drop in the level of these substances in the body. Sport will help fix this.

Buy a gym membership and work out your body. Exercise relieves stress and triggers the release of endorphins - you will feel more energetic. And at the same time you will raise your self-esteem, because your body will become beautiful and fit.

Find yourself a hobby

Now you have more free time. Why not spend it usefully?

Have you always wanted to learn English? Sign up for courses. Do you love fishing, but you couldn’t devote more time to it because of your wife? I have good news - there are no more restrictions! There is an opportunity to do things that you like. Take this chance.

Spend more time with friends and loved ones

Remember that you are not alone. You have friends and family who value you and care about you. Spend more time with them. Go out of town together, or to a billiards club, or just visit your parents' house and pay attention to your family.

It is advisable that others do not remind you of your ex-spouse. Ask about this in advance.

Go on a trip

A great way to reboot is to pack your suitcase and go on a trip. If there is a country or city that you have long wanted to visit, now is the time to do it. Fulfilling a small dream will add positive emotions.

New people, places and experiences will give the brain information to process, and it will not have time for unnecessary thoughts.

Exercises from psychologists

If you feel completely nauseous and can’t get distracted, try the following exercises.

Working with a diary. We need it to identify our true feelings and live them. When keeping a journal, start sentences with the words “I feel”:

• “I feel terribly lonely”;
• “I feel very angry towards her”;
• "I feel a little lighter today."

Track your movement through the stages of separation and do not suppress the emotions that arise - write them down. The diary will clearly show you that time really heals.

Letter to an ex. A useful exercise that allows you to get rid of everything unspoken. Take a piece of paper and write a letter to your ex-wife. Be as clear as possible. Express everything you feel, why you broke up, what didn’t suit you and what you regret. Then burn it or tear it up.

After a while, write another letter - with thanks. Remember all the good things that you want to say “thank you” to her for. It may take more than one month to mature for such a message. But it will help you finally free yourself from the past and close the old page of life.

List method. Divide a sheet of paper into two columns. In one, list the disadvantages, and in the other, the advantages of separation. For example:

• advantages - a lot of free time, no scandals, the opportunity to spend more money on your hobbies;
• cons - boredom, lack of sex, division of property.

Work on the list every day. Gradually, you will notice that there are many more advantages, and the longing for your ex-wife visits you less and less.

Consequences of alcoholism in men

The consequences of male alcoholism can be so catastrophic that even a fatal outcome may seem like a deliverance.

The consequences for physical and mental health are:

• Cardiovascular pathologies: heart attack, stroke, etc.
• Liver pathologies: cirrhosis, hepatitis, etc.
• Gastrointestinal diseases.
• Mental pathologies.
• Loss of cognitive functions.

At the last stage of alcoholism, a man’s personality completely degrades - he is no longer the same person he was before.

An alcoholic completely loses social connections, he has no moral guidelines, his only goal becomes instinct - to get and drink the next dose of alcohol.

There comes a time when a man loses his social status, he no longer has friends except his drinking buddies. The family is unable to withstand such a test and refuses it.

An alcoholic loses everything: a good job, income, and a loving family are left behind. Alienation and marginal lifestyles become a fact

That is why it is so important to start treatment as early as possible, not to bring the person to the last line.

How to convince your alcoholic husband to start treatment

An alcoholic does not need a reason to drink. He will invent it: the political situation, a tyrant boss, two sons, the janitor did not clean the yard well. At the same time, he feeds his wife with constant promises, sometimes very convincing, that he will drink away this stress and never again. There is no need to have any illusions, he won’t stop drinking.

What can be done?

• First of all, don't call him an alcoholic, that's a doctor's prerogative.
• There is no need to force people to stop drinking with scandals - this will lead to the opposite result.
• Do not discuss your husband's alcoholism with family and friends. Addicts are very touchy and are unable to adequately assess the situation. Their revenge will be simple - drink again.
• Do not try to treat your husband with folk remedies yourself. Please note that compulsory treatment is prohibited by law. In addition, there are no guarantees as to the quality and effectiveness of products that supposedly can relieve cravings.
• If your husband or loved one has an addiction, suggest not fighting the drinking, but rather the problem it causes: for example, loss of health, lack of money, alienation of children, deterioration of relationships with colleagues and friends.
• The main task is to convince the husband to start professional treatment. If it doesn’t work, contact the clinic yourself. We have an intervention service - this is a psychological technique, when a doctor, during a motivational conversation, convinces a man to accept treatment.

Only serious comprehensive treatment will save the family from scandals, sleepless nights, fear for their lives and the lives of their children.

Can a man stop drinking forever?

Alcohol addiction cannot be eliminated without solving the psychological problems that led to the disease. Otherwise, the treatment may not show a positive result.

In addition, in the practice of doctors, it is quite rare to encounter cases where a man asked for help on his own; few alcoholics admit the fact of their addiction, and this is perhaps one of the main difficulties in overcoming addiction.

Treatment of alcoholism must be comprehensive; each stage alone will not relieve addiction.

• The drip is where the treatment begins. It cleanses the body of alcohol and its breakdown products, eliminates withdrawal symptoms, removes alcohol from the blood, and improves well-being. But as soon as the man feels good after the drip, he will drink again, because his health seems to be in perfect order.
• Coding eliminates alcohol consumption for a given period, regardless of how it was done: medication, hardware or psychotherapeutic method. After the end of the coding period (and sometimes, let’s face it, even before the end), the alcoholic will have no barriers between the desire to drink and drinking.
• Inpatient or outpatient rehabilitation is the final stage of treatment, which consolidates the success of the two previous stages. Psychologists and psychotherapists help the patient identify the internal problems due to which he fell into the painful captivity of addiction.

Specialists at the drug treatment center draw up an individual psychotherapeutic program that allows you to form internal resources and direct them to giving up alcohol. Thanks to a course of psychotherapy, a man builds a new value system that will not require artificial emotional stimulation. After a rehabilitation course, a man is ready for full and mutual relationships with family, relatives, friends and colleagues.

Only comprehensive treatment guarantees recovery and recovery from addiction.

Talk to her

The simplest and most effective way is to talk to your wife, explain the situation and make it clear that it is impossible to return the old relationship. Sometimes you need to give time for the woman to realize what is happening and accept it, and then calmly sign the divorce papers.

• First, you must explain what exactly didn’t suit you and why you don’t want to be with your wife anymore. Perhaps you have a new love or, conversely, you are tired of endless reproaches.
• Secondly, monitor your wife's behavior. It is impossible to predict the reaction of a person who has just been abandoned. Watch your behavior and manner of speech. If something seems unnatural, it is better to invite a friend or relative to help, who understands your situation and can calm the girl down.
• Thirdly, your wife should not feel your weakness, otherwise she will begin to have hopes. As they say, when you leave, go away. Many couples, out of guilt, endure each other's company even ten years after the divorce.

Is it possible to cure alcoholism without a man's knowledge?

In an attempt to rid their husbands of alcoholism, wives are ready to do almost anything. And treating a man with pills for alcoholism is not the least important thing. Such drugs are sold legally. Allegedly, if you take them with alcohol, you can cause an aversion to drinking.

Doctors are unanimous in their opinion: you can’t do this!

The thing is that anti-alcohol drugs prevent the body from processing alcohol into safe compounds. As a result, acetaldehyde, an intermediate product of the breakdown of ethanol, poisons the body to an even greater extent than alcohol itself. It is acetaldehyde that causes withdrawal symptoms and a hangover. Its high concentration can cause cardiovascular failure and even death. No need to take risks.

It’s even worse if the patient realizes that something was put on him, which is why he feels so bad after drinking. “Revenge” will not be long in coming: either a scandal or another binge.

And finally, compulsory treatment in our country is prohibited at the legislative level; a different decision can only be sanctioned by a court.

The fight against a husband's alcoholism must be reasoned. If you cannot convince your husband to start treatment, contact us - the intervention service will convince the man to accept treatment. This is the only way there will be a chance for a cure.

Safety precautions

Once you start a conversation, it is difficult to predict in advance how it will go and how it will end. You know your wife and you know what she is capable of. So consider:

• when will you talk? She should be calm and balanced at this moment;
• will you talk? A restaurant or any other public place is the most inappropriate place for this. The fewer witnesses there are, the better and simpler;
• where do you start? The first phrase is very important, it will let her know that the conversation is going to be serious; Don't start this conversation in the bedroom. No matter what happens to you, the bedroom is a place of relaxation and enjoyment;
• You shouldn’t talk in the kitchen either, especially if your wife is impulsive and abrupt. There are too many breakables;
• Are you ready right now to take a minimum of things with you and leave?
• It is you who should leave, because you are the initiator of the breakup. Even if you share this apartment during a divorce, you should still give her time to comprehend what is happening in silence.

When you start a conversation, control yourself and don't let your emotions get the better of you. Be prepared for the fact that she won't be able to handle hers. So no matter what she says, you:

• don't insult;
• do not mention her mother or any other relatives in the conversation, they have nothing to do with it;
• don't say what you didn't mean to say;
• do not give in to her emotions, most likely she wants to hurt you as much as possible;
• do not forget why you started the conversation, even if she presses for pity;
• speak now and only now, you should not return to this conversation in the future. So either say it now, or forget you were going to say it;
• stand your ground to the end, be consistent;
• Do not let go of your hands under any circumstances, you never know what she says out of emotion.

Of course, the separation process cannot be called painless, but you can make it less painful.

How to get your husband to stop drinking

Alcohol for a man is a temporary way to forget about problems or get rid of stress. Intoxication causes withdrawal, which is fraught with a new portion of alcohol. This is the beginning of binge drinking and physical cravings.

However, alcoholism always has psychological causes, including problems at work and in the family, misunderstandings, negative influences, feelings of inferiority and low self-esteem.

If the psychological triggers that force a man to drink again are not eliminated, there is no guarantee that he will continue to live a sober life.

It is very important to show your loved one how important and necessary they are to you, and how important it is to start treatment as quickly as possible.

The wife of an alcoholic must understand that it is impossible to simply force her husband to stop drinking; the craving for alcohol cannot be overcome by an effort of will. Any persuasion, scandals, threats will not last long, the man will definitely break down and start drinking again. Therefore, regardless of what caused alcoholism, eliminating psychological dependence is possible only through rehabilitation treatment.

Take a candid look at the state of things.

Most likely, you miss your single life.
You remember how cool it used to be to walk and not worry about anything. The thought that youth will return after a divorce pushes you towards it. But let's be honest. With myself.

Admit it, while you are in the family, it seems that if your wife were not around, you would be wooing dozens of young ladies. You would be basking in female attention, and only a fucking ring would stop you.

But is it? It's easy to talk about seduction strategies when watching from the outside. Agree that you have long lost your grip, if you had it at all. And in reality, everything may not be as rosy as it seems. And you already left your wife.

Time will pass, you will try to communicate with women. And you realize that the girls have grown up a long time ago.

And you can’t get them with sweets/flowers, as it was during your youth.

The girls grew up and became smart, cunning and treacherous. They have already been traumatized by other men, and now they are not so gullible.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t just use girls anymore. They grew teeth, tails on their butts beaten by someone, and horns to boot.

If you are so very drawn to others, then it’s better to just try. Allow yourself to go and flirt with women. Try to seduce them, interest them. Remember the game of seduction by taste.

Perhaps you will be satisfied and can again enjoy one beloved wife. Or maybe you will finally understand that you like freedom more.