How to understand that a married man has fallen in love? Main features


Not a single person in the world knows where he will meet his future soul mate. The happiest people manage to find their love the first time, others will have 2 or more attempts, but the main thing is that in the end they will find their happiness.

There are cases when this happiness at the time of meeting is no longer free or is even officially married.

This situation is very difficult to identify the true intentions of the other half. Therefore, you definitely need to know how a married man in love behaves, and whether he can fall in love, in order to avoid an awkward and stupid situation .

Peculiarities

It has long been known that lovers distinguish their chosen one from the rest of the crowd . This happens even unconsciously.

For example, this may manifest itself in the following:


  • Help and care . Remember, if a man does everything to help you, tries to solve all your problems and concerns, connects all his connections and, in principle, is always responsive to you, then rest assured that you are not indifferent to him. This behavior also occurs with ordinary sympathy, but, as you know, it is very easy to transform sympathy into love.

  • "Chance meetings" . No married man can directly arrange a meeting or date. At the same moment, you want to always be close to your chosen one. Therefore, they begin to be cunning and figure out how to spend time together even for the most stupid and frivolous reasons.
  • Good mood . It is common for Russian people to smile a little, such is the mentality of Russia. Therefore, if you meet a man who smiles at you every day and he is in a positive mood the entire time you spend together, then most likely he is not indifferent to you and there is something in it.
  • Attentiveness . A man in love with you will carefully catch every word of his beloved. Even if this does not apply to your common affairs. In addition, he will try to find out as many details of your life as possible from mutual friends.
  • Individuality . When a man falls in love, he will try to distinguish you from the crowd by any means, and most often lovers use diminutive forms of the name of the object of adoration or a cute nickname.
  • The desire to prove oneself the best in everything . It is important for a man to show his chosen one that he is the best in this society/building/company. This is how nature intended it.

  • Accidental touches . It’s hard for a lover without the touch of his beloved girl. Therefore, the accidental collision of your hands will be commonplace for you. At the same time, he will avoid seemingly harmless physical contacts, such as hugs. Because he still remembers that he is not free and will refuse such manifestations of feelings.

When they leave the family

When a married man falls in love with another woman, he can leave the family if there are the most compelling reasons for this. Most often, those representatives of the stronger sex who have already reached forty years leave their families. It is believed that turning forty for a man is a milestone in which he experiences a crisis and sums up the half of his life that he has already lived. It happens that a man is not satisfied with life at all, and then he decides to change everything around him.

When a man decides to change his life, he changes not only his job and appearance, but also his friends and family. They often say about such representatives of the stronger sex: “gray hair in the beard, a devil in the rib.” Men are owners, and when they fall in love, they will certainly want to tell the whole world that this woman belongs to them. But for this they must be free. Therefore, if a married man falls in love with another woman, he will break off relations with his wife.

Body and gesture language

In addition to changes in behavior patterns, an experienced and attentive girl will also notice hidden signs of body language . Signs that someone likes you include:

  • Lip position . Lips perfectly convey the attitude towards everything that happens around a person. So, when you are next to a person whom a man loves, your lips will be in a state of at least a slight smile. If his beloved is sad, his lips will take a dejected position, i.e. the corners will be omitted.
  • Body position . For a man who is not indifferent to a woman, if they are standing in the same company, the body will be directed towards the object of adoration, and also slightly tilted forward.
  • Knee position . If you are sitting, for example, at a common table, a man's knees will always be directed towards his beloved, even if this causes him some inconvenience.
  • Sight . A man in love always looks either into the eyes or at the lips of his chosen one. Moreover, if his passion is already raging with might and main, he will periodically bite or lick his lips.

Commentary by practicing psychologist Alena Nguyen


A man who is not free is not stable in his behavior.

  • — On social networks, when meeting and communicating, he does not strive for a live meeting, but likes to flirt. Thus, “warming up” himself for his woman.
  • - If these are live meetings, then it suddenly disappears and appears again.
  • — He gets in touch at a certain time of the day, and then he has “meetings with friends/parents/clients/children from his first marriage”, “no connection, no connection” - and so on down the list.
  • — Relationships are like a swing, here he is: attention, gifts and suddenly he disappears, doesn’t get in touch: “busy/circumstances/sick.”
  • — In the evenings he doesn’t like calls, prefers texting.
  • — Meetings and dates are more often in parks, not very crowded coffee shops, and preferably in the countryside or at home, to “be alone.” Avoids public places.
  • - Doesn’t introduce him to friends, parents, doesn’t invite him to any meetings arranged by relatives, married couples with whom he’s friends.
  • — When he spends time with a woman “on the side,” he can often go out to talk “on business” when he gets a call.

These signs of a married man can be played out all at once, or they can be played in half.


Pixabay Photos

How does behavior change?


Often all changes occur quite smoothly. Sometimes it’s not even clear when the boundary between friendly feelings and feelings of love has blurred.

It is important for a woman to know that a man is in love with her , since the further development of the relationship already depends on her .

If she does not notice changes in her attitude towards herself and continues to communicate in a friendly manner, then the man may begin to demand more, and in this case the whole relationship will come to naught.

How to understand that he likes you, but he hides his feelings

For a potential mistress, signals about the “married man’s” sympathy will be:

  1. Regular, active communication. The man finds reasons for calls and correspondence, and gradually the conversations move from the plane of work to personal topics.
  2. Creating situations for the opportunity to be together: an offer to discuss the nuances of a joint project over lunch, offers of a ride home, work after the end of the day specified by the labor code.
  3. Long glances , constantly keeping a woman in sight.
  4. Signs of attention - bring a glass of coffee, hold the door, “reserve” a seat next to you in the conference room.
  5. Desire to touch. A “friendly” fleeting hug, removing invisible specks, etc.

Good family man

If a man in love is a good family man, then he will try to drown out the feelings that arise in himself until the last moment and especially strictly monitor his behavior in public places . At the same time, he will try to protect the feelings of his chosen one in a love relationship.

It should be understood that such a man may not completely break off the existing relationship between him and his wife.

Attention! Often, men run away from their wife’s heel, but even after their spouse finds out about the betrayal, they still remain in the family.

Men of this type in most cases will not decide to break off past relationships if:

  • You can't call
    him or text him first.

  • He almost always rejects incoming calls from you, and if he answers, it is only in a whisper.
  • Doesn’t plan your future together , constantly feeds you with promises and breakfasts about life together.
  • He is very attached to his children .
  • The man has a soft and pliable character and often agrees with everything, but in the end does nothing .
  • He does not allow you to tell your loved ones about himself , much less introduce him to them, if they do not know his friends or relatives.
  • Refuses gifts and any other presents from you and does not celebrate holidays with you.
  • He is very nervous and worried at your meetings , he lies very much about the state of things with his current wife.

Commentary by ICF certified coach Yulia Basinskaya


I suggest starting from the very beginning. Namely, from an acquaintance. A married man would rather choose a single woman, without children, who will not create unnecessary problems, but who misses male attention. Such women will be a priority. The dating stage is over, he likes you and you like him too.

If a man himself said about his marital status, that’s good, but what to do if you only have suspicions? A married man hides his existing relationship, and therefore any mention of it will lead to stress.

Relationships on the side give you self-confidence, add emotions and help you escape from the domestic routine: screaming children, tired wife.

The presence of a mark from a wedding ring is not an indicator. It could have been a ring. And even a woman’s instinct can deceive, being an unsuccessful experience in previous relationships or a consequence of jealousy and self-doubt. Even the absence of a stamp in a passport does not guarantee that he does not have a common-law wife.

Therefore, let's move on to other signs that will give away a married person:

  1. A married man has time problems because of his family. Therefore, your meetings will be exclusively at lunchtime and in the evenings. Very rare overnight stays together. No weekends together.
  2. Many people talk about greed, but this is not an indicator at all. A man can be generous, especially when you are around him. After all, everyone around, including you, is part of HIS leisure time.
  3. More often he calls himself, ignores your calls or calls back later. He doesn’t call you by name: “I’ll call you back - I’m busy!”
  4. You do not visit public places and ride in the back seat of a car. So that no one notices you and reports to your family. 5. Answers questions about marital status evasively, clearly: “No!” you will never hear. He may mutter “under his breath” or how did you annoy him with this question.
  5. Avoids taking photos together; the excuses are always different.
  6. He has small children - under 1.5 years old it is impossible to get a divorce in our country.
  7. He doesn't introduce you to his friends or his family.
  8. He gives you perfume you didn't ask for to mask your smell.
  9. He often gets confused in his plans: either football, or suddenly the dog gets sick.

All of these points individually mean nothing, but together they become a cause for serious concern.

Complainant

If a man in love with you seems ideal to you, but at every opportunity he actively complains about being oppressed by his wife and when talking to her he often snaps and is often irritable, then this is not the best choice for you.

Only among themselves, men are angels in marriage, and the evil wife does nothing but nag and oppress in life, but in fact they are all good.

Note! The fact is that over time the same attitude will be towards you. People don’t change and don’t even try to take on this and somehow solve the problem.

You will definitely suffer the same fate as his ex-wife . Even if you decide to take this step, the question will be how long will you last?

Many couples tolerate each other for 20 years, but in the end they still get divorced under the most unfavorable conditions for the woman.

It is better to avoid a relationship with a man if:

The main reasons for cheating

Women often wonder whether a married man can fall in love with another. Usually a man in love behaves just like a boy and, trying to find entertainment on the side, forgets about his wife. If this happens, then it could be one of these reasons:

  1. Sexual dissatisfaction.
  2. Tired of everyday life and constancy. A man wants to get new emotions, impressions and change his everyday life a little.
  3. If the wife does not understand her husband.
  4. Real sympathy for another woman.
  5. New thrills are required.
  6. The new lady of his heart increases his self-esteem.

Therefore, a wife who wants to save the marriage should understand what ultimately caused her husband’s infidelity, and then try to eliminate all these shortcomings.

Casanova

This type of man doesn’t even know about the word shame and immediately wants quick intimacy. Your relationship will develop too rapidly , he will seem to surround you everywhere and always, anticipating all your desires. He does not hide or be ashamed of his feelings in public places.

Even if you manage to persuade him to divorce his current wife, you will most likely suffer the same fate, or you will have to watch him all your life . This is explained by his difficult and flighty character, hormones are raging in his body and taming them is not an easy task.

Important! Often, this type of man is simply looking for an open relationship or entertainment on the side in secret from his wife, and not an opportunity to start a new marriage.

Psychology of behavior of a married man in relation to household chores

A man should help his wife with housework. With this behavior he demonstrates his love to her. If only the woman is involved in the affairs, it means that her partner does not respect her. As a result, he will often see his partner tired and in a bad mood, and quarrels in the family will become inevitable.

In addition, when all the worries are placed on a woman, she quickly loses her youth and beauty. And the whole family, including children, will have to suffer from this.

When a man takes on housework, he begins to teach a woman how to do it correctly. And this is a big mistake. The wife herself knows what needs to be done and how, and the work that she entrusted to her husband is only a small part of what needs to be done around the house, and, moreover, not the most important. It is not surprising that her partner’s instructions irritate her.

The best thing a man can do is to let a woman lead the whole process, even if he is sure that she is doing something wrong.

A husband's stubbornness is not the most attractive trait, but if he always follows a woman's lead, this is even worse. Naturally, in matters of family life, the last word remains with the woman, while the husband is assigned the role of an assistant. However, in some areas he needs to take an active position. In particular, this applies to raising a child. Even if his wife does not support his methods, he must stand his ground. A wise woman will eventually understand that her husband is right and agree with his educational line. After all, in order for children to achieve much in life, high demands must be placed on them.

There are other important issues that should be resolved jointly. This applies to significant purchases, such as a car or house, as well as moves to a new place of residence or major transactions. Moreover, at such moments, a man’s opinion can be decisive.

How to build relationships?

It should be understood that a married man is leaving a previous relationship, not a good life, so the behavior of his mistress should be somewhat different from his wife .


You should also not forget about yourself, you need to get the most out of the time spent together . Sincerity is the key to a great future relationship, so you need to be extremely honest in your feelings and words.

In such situations, it is very difficult for men, they are pressured by responsibility to their ex-wife, the opinions of others and loved ones, if at this moment you behave coldly and distantly with him, then prepare for the worst outcome .

A man, first of all, needs a mistress for new positive emotions, he already has plenty of unpleasant ones, so complaining about his life is clearly not the best idea.

He most likely has a woman who always cries and complains about her worries, and he is running away from her . A man is a leader by nature, he decided so and he wants so, and you accepted his conditions. Your only requirement from him is to be loved, but you can’t overdo it here either .

Attention! Frequent calls, constant SMS and notifications on his phone will attract the attention of his wife, so be careful in this regard.

Just try to admire him, inspired by approval, a man is capable of much . And being an admired girl is much more pleasant than being a hated critic.

Wife's perspective

No matter how hard a man tries to hide his love, his wife is sensitive to the cooling of her person and the appearance of a rival. How does a married man in love behave?

  1. He becomes attentive to his appearance: body hygiene, perfume, wardrobe items. If a husband, who was not previously known for his love of sports, suddenly begins to regularly visit the gym, this may well be an alarm bell. Does he watch the caloric content of his food and exchange his worn-out T-shirts for stylish things? Got a new haircut? Something is clearly wrong here.
  2. He often stays late at work, works overtime on complex projects, and began going on business trips. If such zeal for work does not in any way affect your family budget, it means that he is either saving money for a pleasant surprise, or you have a new expense item.
  3. He forgets important family dates, avoids holiday feasts, joint weekends, breakfasts, dinners, and also avoids emotional conversations.
  4. He suddenly became generous with gifts, helping around the house and performing those duties that he usually refused. Perhaps he is tormented by guilt for cheating.
  5. Your love bed has become a place to sleep. He is tired, dissatisfied, irritated, wants peace, anything but sex.

If you notice one or two signs, you should be wary, but under no circumstances panic. Perhaps your suspicions are wrong. If all the symptoms are combined into one complete picture, the conclusion suggests itself. It's up to you to decide how you will act in this love triangle.

Do I need to continue the connection?

When couples go for a second marriage, it often happens that it becomes more successful than the first , since the partners are already more responsible and sensitive to their choice. Still, before accepting the status of a mistress, you need to think many times.


Firstly, you should listen to yourself , whether you can definitely live with such a status, because your relationship will always be in the shadows and hidden from others for some time, and they also seem romantic only at first.

Secondly, find out as much as possible about his relationships and relatives . It may happen that his parents will take the side of his wife, and then you will live in conflict with some of the closest people of your chosen one.

Third, be prepared for war with his ex-wife . Many women have a vindictive nature, and who knows what she is capable of.

Important! The main thing to remember is that it is not always a man who leaves for his mistress. He can leave her and his ex-wife in the past and start looking for a better option for himself.

Test for the “nepotism” of a man

The most common ways to check a man for his marital status:

  1. Call his mobile phone and check what name you are listed under in his address book.
  2. Give a gift (buy a man a shirt, wallet, etc.). Check to see if the gentleman will wear it.
  3. Make inquiries online.
  4. Investigate his mobile phone.
  5. Ask for a visit, examine the situation in the apartment.

Of course, this detective game is not everyone's cup of tea. A decent girl will not carry out surveillance and scan messages. Moreover, doubts in a man are the first sign of mistrust. And without trust, no relationship will last long. But if, nevertheless, the worm of doubt bites from the inside, then you can take a closer look at the gentleman and try to determine the man’s status based on known signs.

Signs of falling in love

A married, handsome man madly in love with a woman behaves very noticeably, so you can see the first signs of emerging feelings. This will help you react faster, assess the situation and decide in advance whether to respond to advances, attentions, or flirting.

Changes in appearance

A young man who is trying to make a positive impression on the woman he likes will act instinctively. External changes will begin. First comes a change in style.

If he is in love, he will enthusiastically start wearing shirts instead of T-shirts and trousers instead of denim pants. This will make him look brutal and give him confidence in his attractiveness. After this, the new image will be complemented by a well-groomed look - hairstyle, styling, manicure.

The finish will be spectacular details designed to impress - branded watches, gold bracelets, rings, cufflinks and hairpins made of precious metals.

Always nearby

Everything will become clear based on his desire to spend more time together. Such a person accompanies the girl to business lunches, attends meetings where she speaks, and offers to accompany her or take her home. Also, the guy periodically tries to attract attention, involves him in joint communication, and is interested in business and work. Such behavior may not be noticeable right away, but periodically the girl will begin to notice that the guy is always trying to be nearby.

READ

Love addiction: analysis of symptoms, causes and search for a way out

Gives gifts for no reason

It’s normal if a guy gives gifts on memorable dates - International Women’s Day or birthday. However, the behavior of a married man in love is unpredictable. He wants to supply his new passion with trinkets or expensive gifts, regardless of the date on the calendar. He shows that he is ready to spend money and do nice things with the help of material values. Even small souvenirs received many times will indicate that you care.

Nervous during meetings

During personal scheduled meetings, the young man behaves calmly, tries to direct his gaze to the floor or to the side, and does not maintain prolonged eye contact. Communication is restrained and emphatically polite. In case of accidental collisions, the mask falls off, a nervous state appears for no specific reason, and tremors in the hands can be noticed. Phrases are confused, and the gaze involuntarily slides over the body and face. Such neurosis is a sign of strong feelings and desire towards a girl, which is difficult to control.

Handled unusually

When pronouncing the name of the girl with whom a young man has fallen in love, he unconsciously distinguishes her from the rest in a group of people. If this is a social circle of colleagues, then when addressing someone there is always a slight aspiration, a sigh at the end. A young man can, without the woman’s knowledge, come up with a cute nickname with which he will periodically call out to his chosen one. The opposite is also possible, when a man is afraid to contact and specifically tries to avoid contact.

Changes in behavior

When married people fall in love, they unconsciously change their behavior towards the woman they choose. Depending on temperament and behavioral habits, a man either increases activity, becomes interested, listens attentively, or tries to pointedly ignore. A young man may start asking about hobbies, look for common topics that are interesting to both, or try to turn away and run away when a pretty girl calls him out on business. It is impossible not to notice such a manifestation, so the woman records the changes and tries to respond adequately, but this is difficult to do, since the guy himself sometimes does not know what he wants to get.

Mistakes to avoid

If a man likes a woman and it is mutual, then there is a high probability that they will have intimacy. If this happens, it is important not to rush headlong into the pool and make mistakes. Mistakes you shouldn't make:

Run to tell your wife everything after the first night with another woman. Perhaps this is a mistake that after some time will be ashamed to remember, and the scar on a woman’s heart will remain for life.

Ask friends and acquaintances for advice. Such advice will be of little use. They can advise anything, but it’s not for them to sort it out. Another person will never understand all the intricacies of relationships between people. This is very difficult even for eminent psychologists, let alone ordinary people. Even the closest friends have built their own picture of other people's relationships in their heads, based on details taken out of context.

Promise a woman to marry and give up everything for her. This is an unconstructive conversation, and it is based on emotions. Such a decision is not made in one day, and especially not immediately after sex. And to fool a woman is at least dishonest.

Sometimes even after such actions we have to continue living together. But it would be good to take this as a lesson, and not an open door to such actions. The betrayal will still come to light and you will have to solve it, but the relationship with your wife will be damaged forever.

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