Why does a married man fall in love with another woman?

What love is can be debated endlessly.
Some argue that this is a game of hormones, and others that it is a gift from above. But one thing is certain: if a man falls in love, he instantly loses his head. At this moment, a man is guided only by feelings and is ready to throw everything at the feet of his beloved, even his long-lasting marriage. Yes, it often happens that a married man falls in love with another woman. Of course, you can start spouting clichés that a strong marriage will not allow the appearance of a third party, that if a man fell in love, it means he had a bad time with his wife. But life is more prosaic and the fact that a man fell in love with another does not always mean that his marriage completely failed. Perhaps it just cracked, the man got confused. Men are polygamous at heart and need thrills.

But what should a man do in this case, what should he do with his feelings? There can be no definite answer here. But he definitely needs to try his best to turn on his head and sort it out.

How to save a marriage

Of course, there are many cases when life with a wife has already become so disgusting that the only way to preserve the sanity of both and become happy is an intelligent divorce. But in most cases, the best option is to try to save the marriage. At least do everything possible for this. You can always leave, but they won’t always accept you back. The old proverb that an old friend is better than two new ones often applies to wives.

How can you save your marriage? In order to save a marriage, you need to want it and devote time and effort to it, otherwise there is no other way. There are several excellent methods for doing this.

Try changing the situation, yes, it really works. Break out of your routine and go on a trip. The scenery around will change, the wife will not be burdened with everyday life and constantly wear a robe. Her eyes will glow from new impressions and emotions, she will become playful and flirtatious. In your usual life partner, you will actually be able to discern a beautiful and interesting woman. If it is not possible to leave, then at least start attending some events together more often. Theatre, cinema, water park, restaurants, concerts of joint favorite bands, places where passion once boiled. There is no doubt that there is a risk that the wife will grumble just as much as she does at home and will be dissatisfied with everything. This is already an alarm bell.

The second method follows from attempts to visit places of former glory. Try to remember why you fell in love with your wife. Look through old photographs, listen to songs from the times when you were madly in love. Giving your wife the perfume she was wearing at the time, scientists have long proven that smells greatly refresh memories precisely at the level of feelings. Read a book that reminded you of a love story. In a word, refresh your memory of those times. And at the same time, the image of that woman whom you loved so much that you offered her your hand and heart will be refreshed in your memory.

Try to find common ground of interests and put pressure on them. Often spouses grow apart due to the fact that in their free time everyone wanders off to their own corners. It would seem, well, what common interests can a man and a woman have, but not at all. Maybe it’s worth doing fitness together and then heatedly discussing who did their best in training, whose form is moving faster towards the ideal. Try to assemble some kind of big puzzle, puzzle. Both get carried away by watching new films or, conversely, films that have won an Oscar. Take up photography and wander around places together in search of interesting shots, and then compare what happened, discuss photography techniques. When people are passionate about something together, it really unites. Go on a hike together. There are a lot of options, you just need to discuss interests and find common ones.

Keep an eye on your wife, maybe she has begun to take less care of herself and needs to be encouraged to do so. It is important to do this delicately, not in the form of a reproach, but a compliment. For example, tell her: “Darling, your hair is so gorgeous, why don’t you ever style it? Maybe I’ll give you a trip to the salon?” “After all, you have naturally gorgeous legs, why haven’t you worn stockings and heels for a long time?” “I’ve never seen an eye color like yours. And when you do eye makeup, they turn blue.”

Revive feelings in bed. Is it possible that sex has become a routine: ordinary positions, an unchanged bed, lights off? All this can be replaced by sex on the kitchen table, beautiful lingerie, new tricks on how to please a woman. Try to re-recognize the familiar body of your wife, look for her erogenous zones or remember well-forgotten old ones. At first it may seem shy and unacceptable, insipid, but here, the main thing is to start and you can get involved. Sex is a two-sided game, if one tries to please the other and succeeds, then the other gradually begins to get turned on more and more often by memories of pleasant voluptuous moments.

Give your wife compliments more often. Yes, this is quite a way to revive feelings, although to some it seems pointless in a long relationship. Firstly, a woman who is complimented becomes more dignified, her eyes begin to shine, and over time she changes in appearance. And secondly, if, in search of reasons for compliments, you constantly pay attention to the best sides of your wife, then after some time they will become visible to the naked eye.

For some, on the contrary, it helps to be away from each other for a while. But not with another person, but alone with yourself. Go on a business trip, vacation alone. As paradoxical as it sounds, it is in separation that many understand how dear a person was. That he was like fresh air: when you have it, it’s unnoticeable, but as soon as you lose it, it becomes difficult to breathe. Kuprin also wrote in his story “Olesya”: “Separation for love is like the wind for a fire: it extinguishes a small one, and makes a large one burn even stronger.”

These methods can be combined or used separately. But, the main thing is to try to make everything look natural, and not like last-ditch attempts to save the relationship, even if this is the case. Well, the wife should give back. After all, it is possible to save an insipid marriage only if both want it.

What does he keep next to his wife?

The question arises: are such titanic efforts worth it? Even after realizing that the marriage is hopeless and there will no longer be love, many men continue to hesitate. They are tormented by the dilemma of what to do more honestly: leave their unloved wife and surrender completely to new love, or, gritting their teeth, continue to live with their wife out of a sense of duty.

Saving a marriage is important for many reasons. And this is not only the risk of losing the woman you really love, but also not with such passionate love. Making a decision can be burdened by several circumstances:

A child together and sometimes not even alone. You need to think about whether the woman is so wise that she will not denigrate the father’s name in front of the child and prevent meetings. And who can argue that a child who was raised in a full-fledged family has a better chance of growing up as a harmonious personality. It is possible that the relationship with your own child is still more valuable than this love. But this does not apply to families where there are constant scandals and humiliation of each other. No child will be better off in such a family. Seeing how father and mother throw mud at each other is unbearable and will affect the psyche and perception of relationships in the future.

Jointly acquired property that you do not want to divide. If the marriage is quite long, then the spouses often acquired a lot of joint property during their working career. But no money can replace a calm and happy life, and besides, the legal half is quite a good start for a new life.

The wife was there both in poverty and in illness, and the man feels obliged to her. If a man leaves gracefully, then he has nothing to be ashamed of. You should be ashamed of dishonest and cruel relationships with women.

We have known each other since childhood, the wife knows the man like crazy, and no one understands him like that. The marriage was preceded by an unearthly love story, the memories of which are warm to this day. Sometimes love passes and all that remains of it are memories; this must be accepted, but not confused with fading love. Even if love is gone, respect must remain. There is definitely something to respect for such a woman.

All these reasons are quite valid, but sometimes they are a cover for those who do not want to make a decision.

Peculiar signs of sympathy

When a married man falls in love, the signs can be very different:

• he will hide the presence of a family;
• demonstrates children's teasing, which is usually carried out by boys at a young age;
• communicates with you in a personable manner in public, calls you affectionately in private, making fun of you;
• if you met him with his wife, he will pretend that he doesn’t know you at all.

Based on these signs, you can determine whether a married man has feelings for you or not. The main thing in a relationship with a married person is to understand that since he left his wife, it is not a fact that a new passion will not take him away from you.

Tell us in the comments what signs of attention your married suitors showed you?

Mistakes to avoid

If a man likes a woman and it is mutual, then there is a high probability that they will have intimacy. If this happens, it is important not to rush headlong into the pool and make mistakes. Mistakes you shouldn't make:

Run to tell your wife everything after the first night with another woman. Perhaps this is a mistake that after some time will be ashamed to remember, and the scar on a woman’s heart will remain for life.

Ask friends and acquaintances for advice. Such advice will be of little use. They can advise anything, but it’s not for them to sort it out. Another person will never understand all the intricacies of relationships between people. This is very difficult even for eminent psychologists, let alone ordinary people. Even the closest friends have built their own picture of other people's relationships in their heads, based on details taken out of context.

Promise a woman to marry and give up everything for her. This is an unconstructive conversation, and it is based on emotions. Such a decision is not made in one day, and especially not immediately after sex. And to fool a woman is at least dishonest.

Sometimes even after such actions we have to continue living together. But it would be good to take this as a lesson, and not an open door to such actions. The betrayal will still come to light and you will have to solve it, but the relationship with your wife will be damaged forever.

How to understand whether it is love or not

It is quite possible that the marriage was initially unsuccessful and this is really the same love and the woman with whom you want to grow old.
Determining this at the time of hormonal attack is the most difficult thing. But these deep feelings or animal passion can be determined by certain signs: He is not attracted to other women, all thoughts are only about this particular one, and attempts to get closer to his wife do not give anything except the desire to see the new chosen one as soon as possible.

True love is not selfish; you always think about the well-being of your loved one. Passion wants to constantly take, but love wants to give. There is a desire to please a woman, to give her gifts. And, most importantly, she has the strength to leave if she realizes that she will be better off in this case. At first, even in a passionate relationship, there may be something like self-sacrifice, but it will be just a game. Over time, selfishness will begin to seep into the details and it is important to notice them.

Disadvantages do not irritate, but touch. The figure is not examined under a microscope, not subject to cellulite and deviations from standards. I like a woman for who she is, her entire image and character.

It’s interesting to spend time with a woman, even without sex. Provided that it already existed. It’s not just interesting to talk on the phone for hours and discuss something.

A man who experiences ordinary passion will get what he wants from a woman until he gets bored and she becomes uninteresting to him. And this usually happens quite quickly. Not after 2 weeks, of course, but after six months, boredom and irritation usually begins in a fake relationship. That is why you should never cut from the shoulder, you need to wait. Perhaps what seemed most important six months ago will seem like fleeting entertainment and a mistake.

Why does a married man fall in love with someone else?

Love sometimes comes regardless of our desire. It may be impossible to hide your feeling, especially if it is strong. There are many reasons why a married man falls in love with another woman. The most typical of them:

• conflicts and disagreements with your significant other,
• cooling of feelings,
• banal habit
• middle age crisis,
• sexual dissatisfaction.

For a decent person, falling in love can be a serious test. But there is a possibility that this is a womanizer looking for sex on the side. There are certain signs of a married man in love that give him away.

What will leaving someone else give you?

If everything is well thought out, time has passed, and the man is still sure that this is love.
I am sure that the new chosen one is the same and he wants to share his life and everyday life with her, then he needs to make a decision to leave his wife. Keeping such a woman as your mistress, but not leaving your wife, is the height of dishonesty. Both of these women do not deserve to be treated this way. You need to decide which woman you plan to stay with and go towards this goal even if it is morally difficult. Living with an unloved woman will not make anyone happier, especially this unloved woman. She also has the right to be loved and desired. And all over the globe there will undoubtedly be a person who was looking for exactly her. And she consoles herself with the hope that her husband’s passion for her will return and everything will be as before, gradually fading and dissolving her unspent femininity and sexuality in everyday problems. The man himself also does not have to feel guilty if the love has passed. You can leave gracefully, without offending anyone, and try to make the woman’s future life easier. If she has no other housing, then leave her the joint property or give her time to buy out the share. If your ex-wife is planning to move, then help her move, find out what other help she needs.

When making such a decision, you need to pay attention to everyday moments and life principles of the new chosen one. Is she neat, does she spend money wisely, how does she feel about the addition to the family, does she like to cook. If you don’t discuss all this on the shore, then over time, disagreements in such moments can kill any love.

After all, if the decision is wrong, then the lives of three people can be ruined. Unfortunately, there are men who understand what they have lost only at the stage of divorce. Not every woman is able to take someone like that back. Then the new chosen one will quickly get bored and everything will happen again. But each next time will be more difficult in many ways.

Portrait of a cheating husband

How can you understand that your husband has fallen in love with another woman? A vigilant spouse will notice the following changes in her husband:

• he began to pay more attention to his appearance, started playing sports, updated his wardrobe, changed his hairstyle, and gave preference to a new perfume;
• the spouse stopped taking the initiative in sex;
• the lover constantly carries a phone with him and goes into another room to answer the call;
• he set passwords on his phone and laptop;
• your life partner begins to stay late at work, and on the way home he gets stuck in traffic jams more often;
• the partner returns home a little under the driver;
• the chosen one’s things began to smell “different”;
• his attitude towards his wife has changed: some men begin to pay more attention, others, on the contrary, show irritation, and others completely ignore the presence of their wife.

If a woman has not seen any changes in her husband, then it is not surprising that he began to look for love on the side: such inattention pushes men to look for a more caring passion. No matter how many years the spouses live together, they cannot deprive their loved one of attention. Indifference can destroy even the strongest union.

If a girl knows her husband’s mistress, she will note the following changes in behavior:

• in the presence of a homewrecker, the spouse behaves unnaturally and is nervous;
• if a passion or friends are nearby, the man begins to brag about his heroic deeds, financial stability or career;
• if the chosen one is restrained in character, then in communication with his new beloved he can become more relaxed or, on the contrary, the merry fellow suddenly becomes modest;
• the spouse reacts painfully to criticism from his passion and to news about her men;
• the husband willingly helps his sweetheart, solves her problems, takes her on errands;
• he shows non-verbal signs of attention - establishes eye contact, turns his whole body towards her.

How to leave gracefully

If the decision is finally made, then you need to leave gracefully. A worthy man will never offend a woman who has shared her life with him for many years.

Firstly, this is of course a financial issue. According to the laws of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, acquired property will have to be divided in half, regardless of who worked and earned more. This seems unfair to many men. And they either suffer an unsuccessful marriage or try to rob their wife with threats. Neither one nor the other will lead to good things. If the marriage is over, then the wisest thing would be to divide everything according to the law and proudly leave. She was around for many years, she really contributed to the earnings and rightfully deserved her half. After a hard day of work, she washed and fed her tired husband, and raised his heirs. Moreover, if a woman has been a housewife all her life and is already quite old, then it would be fair to leave her most of it or transfer everything to the children. Because this is humane, because she did not build a career to some extent sacrificing this for the sake of her husband’s career.

Secondly, the moral side. Even if a woman herself stopped loving a long time ago, she will be hurt, her self-esteem will be harmed. The conversation through which a woman learns about her husband’s decision to divorce is very important. It needs to be carried out in such a way that the woman does not feel that she is unnecessary and bad; she needs to explain that only this story has ended, but not her ability that other men like. If she starts throwing tantrums, under no circumstances should she descend into backlash and scandals. Women are more emotional creatures, so you shouldn’t fall for such a provocation. And besides, at this moment she has every right to express her pain in this way.

Whatever may be said about the moral side of this issue, life is not so simple. There is no black and white in life, every coin has two sides. Can't be. If a man fell in love with another woman, this does not mean that he is a scoundrel and a scoundrel. The main thing is not to be a coward and admit to yourself what this feeling is, acting according to your conscience. But a strong family where they support and respect each other for many years definitely has a chance to survive, even if it means suffering mentally for some time. But what is impossible is to sit on two chairs. Trying to do this will end in suffering and reproaches on both sides.