“You can’t hide love and a cough” (proverb)
Among all the variety of interactions between men and women, much raises questions and bewilderment and, in particular, why a man avoids the woman he likes.
In relationships between the sexes, a man is always at a disadvantage - a woman immediately sees that he has fallen in love, and a man, until he is told in plain text, remains in the dark. Sometimes he suspects something, but straightforward male logic and mental retardation find dozens of possible reasons to explain female hints to the exact opposite.
This is one of the reasons why he runs away from the woman he likes. Who is to blame for this - the answer to this question is ambiguous.
“The only salvation from love is hasty flight” (William Shakespeare)
Not perfect enough?
So why does a man ignore the woman he likes? This can come from being honest with yourself. The man realizes that he is not ready for a serious romance, and increases his distance in order to freeze his feelings. It is clear that coping with this is not an easy task, so the young lady sometimes cannot understand what is happening: sympathy towards her is obvious, but the plot does not develop. Another reason, flattering for girls, but not solving the problem, is doubts that he is not too good for you. This is a good reason why a man avoids the woman he likes. Fear of being uninteresting, the risk of not being able to withstand competition, fears for your financial insolvency turn your potential boyfriend into a cautious and cold one.
Isn't he married?
Let's dwell a little on the relationship of a married man to a woman. Perhaps, you yourself know the answer to the question why a married man avoids meetings and has become indifferent and ignores.
He doesn't need you. Most likely, the goal that he set for himself - to conquer you - has already been achieved. You simply fell into his network, then you became indifferent to him.
What do statistics say about how relationships between married men and their mistresses develop? Such novels often have no prospects. As long as passion bubbles in your chest, there will be relationships. Then he will start to avoid you. Do you need it?
Sudden neglect
How does a guy feel when girls ignore him? The hunter's instinct inherent in nature awakens in him. He thinks that there is a game going on in which the girl only shows her inaccessibility and indifference to him. The man begins to actively act, wanting to meet her, appearing in front of her more often. He tries, whenever possible, to call and write to a girl who really interests him. To understand the truth, he needs time.
Ignoring can sometimes actually be beneficial in a relationship, but not always.
Equality 4
In the age of tolerance and equality, it is sometimes difficult to live, it seems that the ideas are good, good. But it turns out somehow, as always. In our society, girls have long been able to do any work they like, this creates dissonance in the minds of men. Like, how is this possible, it’s a man’s job, why does a girl do it? If a girl does a man’s job better than the man himself, then that’s it. This will be a blow to your self-esteem. In this case, the man will also try to avoid meetings. In general, like little children.
Searching for the one and only
A man is serious in choosing his lady of his heart. As a brave hunter, he goes in search of prey for love adventures. How long this adventure will be depends more on the girl. Is she capable of turning his head, driving him to despair and the desire to possess it, is she ready to throw herself into the pool with him and hold him tightly by the hand, to trust a still unfamiliar person? It is important for a man to feel trust in a relationship. A woman must be interesting, attractive and charming in order to please not only him, but also others. However, SHE is the woman who loves him and belongs only to him. There are many places where you should look for the one and only one. He can meet his future beloved girl in everyday life, at social parties and while spending leisure time.
To remain silent or to speak - that is the question
Some women, as they say, constantly have conversations on this topic, trying to reach out, tell him that he used to be attentive, but now he avoids communication and does not pay due attention. In fact, they begin to “nag” their partner, make scandals, and constantly make claims. The man hides even more in his hole and moves away from the woman, looking for shelter. Families are breaking up. The person you love receives the status of “ex”, he has a new passion who admires him, does not nag him, is affectionate and non-conflicting. Perhaps this is exactly what your ex was missing?
The second category of women is the complete opposite of the first. They are too compliant, affectionate and non-conflicting, they forgive everything, they turn a blind eye to many things. It would seem an ideal option for a relationship. But they don’t like such women either. There is not enough pepper, as they say. The partner relaxes and also becomes cold in the relationship.
Powerful woman
There is another explanation why a young man may begin to distance himself and avoid communicating with the woman he likes. Take a closer look at yourself. Perhaps you are too self-sufficient, domineering and strong? Having gotten to know you better, the man simply realized that he would never reach your level, so he began to avoid meetings, then conversations, in order to finally break off the relationship.
If this is the man you want, try to change. Let him feel your weakness, not your power.
Looking for reasons
What does a modern girl do when she notices that a young man who likes and cares about her stops paying attention to her, avoids meeting her and ignores her? That's right, he's trying to figure it out and find an explanation for this behavior. After all, being next to such a man is a test for a woman. She feels disadvantaged, unwanted and even unloved - all this oppresses and infringes on her feminine side.
She asks the question: why is he doing this to me? There are several reasons that explain why the man began to avoid meetings. Here is the version of the American psychologist, world-recognized expert on love relationships Gary Chapman, who clearly and clearly explains in his books why relationships change after marriage.
How to make peace after a quarrel
The situations described above were when a couple either has not yet formed, or in general they do not have problems as such, but only issues with personal space. But what if your significant other turns on ignore after a quarrel?
If you want to smooth out an unpleasant state after a quarrel, then do not rush to talk and apologize. Let your opponent cool down, calm down, and comprehend what happened. Otherwise, you can run into rudeness and a continuation of the scandal.
After waiting for some time, try to talk calmly, carefully choosing your words, get into a position, demonstrate understanding. Choose your time to communicate wisely. Don’t leave out text messages in the middle of the workday, and if you do write, do it once and wait patiently for an answer.
Don’t let them ignore you, tell them that this is unpleasant and you don’t need to behave like that with a loved one.
Try to be offended to a minimum, and never demonstrate indifference in response. Think not only about your own feelings, but also about your other half. If a person does not make contact, continuing to ignore all efforts on your part, then it is worth raising the question of the advisability of continuing such a relationship.
Why the ex-husband does not want to communicate: possible reasons
The most reasonable understanding of the problem is that both are to blame for divorce. What to do: We all change. People become different, hence the misunderstanding and breakdown of relationships.
Some women mistakenly think that if there is a child in a marriage, then the husband will not go anywhere. It is a myth. The children haven't stopped anyone yet. In any case, for a long time.
The following options for the development of “post-divorce” events are possible:
- the man does not communicate with his ex-wife, but maintains a relationship with his children. This is an attempt to avoid responsibility to the ex-lover, a fear of admitting one’s own mistakes;
- abrupt cessation of communication with the former family, including children. Such cases are considered by the court. Divorce does not free a man from responsibility to children, from the need to raise and support them.
What should I do if my husband doesn’t communicate with me after a divorce?
Think about whether you really need this communication. If the reason for the breakup was mutual misunderstanding or (even worse!) problems with alcohol or drugs, then who needs to maintain the appearance of a good relationship. The real “encyclopedia of divorce” is M. Kozakov’s film “Pokrovsky Gate”.
The Khobotovs, generally nice and intelligent people, made every conceivable mistake that could be made in such a situation:
- “We are civilized people!” . There is an opinion that one should not lose face in the event of a breakup. Of course, such an outcome has a right to life. But only if both spouses want it. If a man, for some reason, opposes such “high relationships,” then his opinion must be respected;
- custody of ex-husband . What makes you think that he will be lost without you? It so happened that you stopped being family. And trying to take care of a stranger, moreover, without his desire, looks somewhat strange;
- domestic issues . Understand that your ex-husband now has his own life, separate from you. It is possible that another woman appeared in her. Therefore, you don’t need to constantly pull it if the faucet is leaking in the kitchen or you need to drive a nail into the wall. In the end, there are as many specialized companies providing such services for a small fee;
- receiving "bonuses" . Is it worth maintaining a “good relationship” for monetary gain or career advancement? Probably not. Imagine how your ex-man will feel, realizing that he is simply being used? And don’t be surprised if he answers you in a rather harsh manner or completely stops answering annoying calls with offers to “talk.”
Attempts at manipulation will lead to nothing good. The only way to improve a fairly shaky relationship is honesty, and mutual honesty.
Burnt Bridges
Divorce happens for many reasons. In some families it is caused by infidelity, in others by money issues, in others by alcohol, and so on. So why do you want to continue communicating with a person who did not value you and your feelings? Perhaps you voice the following reasons to others:
- High relationships
- you believe that civilized people should save face even after a breakup. Then remember that such an outcome is only possible if both partners have the same intentions. If a man has no thoughts about further cooperation, then his opinion should be respected. - The desire to take care of your ex-husband
- you think that he needs your help, since he is completely helpless in the face of everyday difficulties. In such cases, the behavior of the ex-husband is understandable - he is trying to protect himself from the control of a woman who is completely alien to him. - Beneficial friendship
- you are sure that a good relationship can bring you some bonuses over time. For example, solve financial difficulties or advance your career. If your intentions are obvious to your ex-husband, he may feel that he is being used. Don't be surprised if he immediately disappears from sight and stops answering calls. - Household issues
– does your home constantly have accidents or is it in need of minor repairs? When a handyman lives nearby for many years in a row, a woman gets used to not noticing current problems. Therefore, out of habit, she turns to her ex-husband for help. If your ex-spouse has a new passion, then he is unlikely to care about your problems. To avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary insults, it is better to call a paid specialist from the relevant organization to your home.
Do not forget that a man can avoid communicating with his ex-wife if she seeks to get him back and comes up with new ways of manipulation. In this case, he tries to minimize communication and break all ties in one fell swoop.
"Ex" dad
It’s sad to look at families where children become hostages of their squabbling parents. They hide behind their name, solving personal problems, and extort money or attention from each other. The question of why my ex-husband stopped communicating with me fades into the background. But still, think about how this behavior affects the youngest members of the family and whether it is worth continuing the war, requiring the husband to regularly communicate with his daughter or son. So, what reasons might a dad have for stopping meeting with his children:
- Feelings of guilt
- insecure men are often ashamed of their unpleasant actions and prefer to see their child as little as possible after a divorce. This problem can be solved if you call your partner for a frank conversation and convince him that separation cannot become an obstacle to the love of a father with his son or daughter. - Transferring a bad relationship from an ex-wife to a child
is a rather difficult problem to solve, and therefore a lot of effort will have to be made to restore friendly relations. - New family
- if a new girlfriend demands that a man stop communicating with the child, then there is nothing you can do. The only one who can influence the situation is your “ex”. - The desire to start life over with a new leaf
- a professional psychologist who specializes in working with families can help in this situation. However, if the child’s father does not agree to make contact, then you are unlikely to be able to change the situation.
Communication with a son or daughter is very important for an adequate person, even if he does not yet realize it. Subsequently, he will highly appreciate your tact, restraint and invaluable assistance in this delicate matter. If a man does not respond to all attempts to establish his connection with the children, then back down. Try to survive this situation and do not involve your child in its solution. Children perfectly sense their mother’s mood, and it depends only on her how they will perceive the current state of affairs. Therefore, you should not discuss the negative qualities of the father in front of the child, complain about his indifference and feel sorry for yourself.
Most marital friction arises from the wife talking too much and the husband listening too little. Kurt Goetz
Responsibility for actions
Men who avoid responsibility either have problems with alcohol and drugs, or have new relationships in which the woman forbids the man to fulfill his fatherly duty and see his son and daughter. In such cases, the right option for the wife would be to file a lawsuit and generally prohibit the man from seeing his son. Very often this technique works and men return to the family, realizing what they had and almost lost. All situations that arise in the family should not be kept silent. Be sure to talk through problems and look for solutions together. It is worth remembering that relationships are hard work on both sides. Be friends and lovers. Be interested in each other's hobbies and passions. Do not hesitate to contact family psychologists. Psychological practice shows that 80% of couples who turned to professional help avoided divorce.
Sources
- https://intrigue.dating/otnoshenija/pochemu-mujchina-izbegaet-jenschinu-kotoraya-emu-nravitsya/
- https://chinogid.ru/kommunikaciya/paren-ignorit-soobshcheniya.html
- https://www.sympaty.net/20190727/pochemu-muzhchina-izbegaet-zhenshhinu/
- https://zen.yandex.com/media/use_psihology/mujchina-tochno-vliublen-no-izbegaet-razvitiia-otnoshenii-7-vozmojnyh-prichin-5df689513d008800af421b2f
- https://signorina.ru/3855-prichiny-pochemu-muzhchina-izbegaet-otnoshenij-s.html
- https://viktoria-vlasova.ru/pochemu-muzh-izbegaet-obshheniya-po-dusham/
- https://prozakon.guru/semejnoe-pravo/razvod/psihologiya/pochemu-byivshiy-muzh-ne-hochet-obshhatsya.html
- https://PsyMod.ru/psikhologiya-obshcheniya/lichnost/2042-nuzhno-li-vam-obschenie-s-byvshim-muzhem.html
You speak different languages
Exploring the relationship between a man and a woman, he mentions the five love languages in which lovers communicate.
- The time that partners are willing to allocate to each other;
- Tokens of attention in the form of cute gifts;
- Words of love and encouragement;
- Help and action;
- Touching, including intimacy, hugs, kisses, etc.
So, Chapman assures, based on many years of observations, that a person can only speak one or two of these languages. Everything is fine if your love languages are in tune with your partner. But more often than not, coincidences between couples happen as often as if they opened a direct bus route to Moscow from some remote village - that is, virtually never.
This is what happens in life: you expect attention from him in the form of a gift, since you prefer to communicate in this language, and he pulls you into the bedroom, since a strong and passionate hug for him is the best proof of love. Or you are expecting a romantic dinner from him (in the language of love, you want him to spend time with you), and he goes to wash the dishes (in the language of actions). You just speak different languages, but this does not at all prove that a man is indifferent to you or does not like you.
You might say, “He gave me gifts before!” He spoke kind words!” Of course, he was just trying to get you. And the proverb that women love with their ears sits in the male subconscious just as women are convinced that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. You also behaved differently in the early stages of the relationship?
Solution
What should a woman do in this case?
Chapman says that you need to look for a partner with whom you will speak “the same love language,” or one of the partners should start learning this language. And since we women are trying to figure it out, to study the reason, then most likely we need to learn to understand and accept his language. For example, give him extra praise or a hug. Maybe something is clicking in his brain, and one day you will hear a serenade under the window from your loved one. Or maybe you won’t wait for it. After all, my man and I have different brains...
It's all in the brain
Of course, you have heard a hundred times that the brains of a man and a woman are different “operating systems”. We can do several things at the same time, but they cannot. And the foundations of this were laid back in the Stone Age.
Man | Woman |
Strong and invincible | Weak and defenseless |
Independent and powerful | Subordinates to a man |
Providers and Protectors | Guardians of the family hearth |
Did you see the words “affectionate and gentle” in the “men” column? No. That is, from ancient times, men had instincts - they should not show their emotions. This is why we have so many emotionally cold men.
This type of man is directly related to our problem. Since many women perceive the behavior of men of this type as indifference towards them. Although this is not at all true.
How to attract male attention
What to do if a guy ignores you? The main thing is not to panic. It is quite possible for a woman to restore good relationships and interest in herself. What to do for this?
Disconnect from the situation
Try to abstract yourself from negativity
Give yourself time to think: if the guy does not make contact, perhaps you should switch your attention to a more worthy object. Save your own nerves and energy by doing interesting things
To apologize
What to do if your loved one ignores you, and the reason for this is resentment? Admit your guilt and apologize to your lover. Sincere repentance is a huge step towards returning to normal communication.
Eliminate bad habits
Perhaps the gentleman, due to his convictions or moral principles, cannot accept the girl’s behavior. This leads to internal conflict, and forces the guy to lie low to consider the prospects of an alliance. If relationships are important to you, try changing your lifestyle or getting rid of bad habits and everything will get better.
Letter of happiness
Today the possibilities for communication are endless. If the guy doesn’t want to talk and it’s impossible to organize a meeting with him, put your tormenting feelings in writing. What to write to a person who ignores you? Avoid banal phrases, because the purpose of the message is to attract male attention. Do not demand an explanation for the sudden cessation of communication, write that it would be nice to establish contact again.
Straight Talk
Many women believe that it is indecent to be the first to start a conversation. However, it happens that men are just waiting for the first step. Have an honest conversation with the guy and find out what makes him disappear without warning.
Ignoring is a kind of sign signaling that something needs to be changed in a relationship.
You may be interested in: How to confess your love to a man How to cheer up your beloved man How to behave with a Leo man
A man ignores his beloved woman demonstratively. What is this?
But a woman needs to seriously think about this question. Although not all men are inclined to stage performances, it is still necessary to understand that since your chosen one with his whole appearance, and especially in public, shows his indifference to you, then the reason for this may be a very serious offense or simply indecent behavior of a woman that amazed him to the depths of my soul.
It is worth thinking about everything that has happened between you lately and understanding whether something could have caused such a reaction from a man. And only after a cold, deep analysis, try to resolve the situation using all possible methods. And don’t be too upset, because psychology clearly states that demonstrative ignoring is the very first sign that in reality he is very, very not indifferent to you.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vxKFsD1xd_Q
Objective prerequisites
The unusual behavior of a man who avoids communicating with a woman may be due to the following circumstances:
- The place is occupied; A person who is interesting tries to keep communication to a minimum because he is dating someone else. The young man does not want to instill false hope of reciprocity or is afraid of scenes of jealousy on the part of his partner. Before seeking attention, find out whether the chosen one’s heart is free.
- Financial difficulties; A well-fed life and peace of mind depend on material well-being. A wealthy man enjoys his personal life and enjoys it. Burdened with debt, he is looking for a way out of this situation, temporarily forgetting about romantic dates, bypassing the surrounding beauties.
- Health problems; Poor health does not always manifest itself through external signs. A healthy, muscular guy may be suffering from a serious illness, awaiting diagnosis, and in severe pain. The only desire of a sick person is recovery. Beautiful girls, romantic acquaintances temporarily fade into the background.
- Passion for work; If a man is a workaholic, female beauty is powerless. A person who is passionate about work does not avoid women, but simply does not notice the presence of the fair sex. To switch attention to your own person, you will have to learn to share interests. Charming appearance will be a worthy frame for erudition, intelligence, and ingenuity.
- Negative memories; Unsuccessful experiences with women leave an imprint on a man’s behavior. A painful breakup from a past relationship forces you to keep your distance. Resentment for insult, infidelity, deception is intuitively projected onto the surrounding representatives of the fair half of humanity. The guy temporarily becomes a misogynist. Time must pass for the heart to thaw and the soul to open to new love.
A person has no control over circumstances. We can only hope that the black stripe will be replaced by a white one.
Social life for him
Relationships that arise when meeting while relaxing in a restaurant or party usually do not continue. Such relationships are doubtful for him. The inner worm whispers that women who party in clubs, restaurants, discos are obsessive, accessible and greedy. A high degree of communication brings people closer together and violates the boundaries of permissiveness. Single women glare at their potential companion like a scorpion ,
They sting mercilessly and mark them with their poison. Any morning for such women with nightly seduction becomes the last. The victim slips from the claws and the search for both resumes from the beginning. And for him, she falls into the ignored category.
Staying Faithful
“When I sign up for what is considered a serious relationship, the default expectation is fidelity,” says Arthur. “I don’t think I’m ready to take on such promises, but I don’t want to lie or cheat.”
The idea that from now on this is your only sexual partner stops many young men. The situation often changes after gaining sufficient sexual experience and love impressions, when the need for intimacy arises, which can only be achieved with one person. There are also those who do not accept monogamous relationships.
“Frequent changes of partners may be associated with sexual addiction, which masks other, deeper problems,” says Marina Myaus. - This is not so much a physiological need as a psychological one - a person uses sex to assert himself and raise self-esteem, tries to displace the feeling of loneliness, the feeling of being lost. However, this turns out to be only a sublimation of real warmth and intimacy. Fear and distrust of the other do not allow you to settle on one partner.”
I want and inject
Men tend to doubt their actions and may become irritated by a lack of understanding. Ignoring your partner is a great way to make sure that the young lady is not indifferent to the guy.
Psychologists say that only insecure individuals who are afraid of seeming stupid and directly telling their partner about their feelings can resort to ignoring. If you meet a timid guy who treats you well today and stops paying attention to you tomorrow, it means he has a disturbed psyche. This can be called a kind of defensive reaction, allowing him to hide his feelings for the girl.
Internal contradictions 2
“Do I need it?” - This is a question men often ask themselves. After a failed relationship, fear of starting a new one often accompanies a person. It seems that you like the woman, everything is with her, but doubts do not allow you to move in the right direction. In such a situation, the man spends a long time studying all the pros and cons of the girl and conducts a long analysis. But is this approach so bad? The main thing is that this does not drag on for a long time.
Yes, it is worth mentioning such a moment as a man’s busyness. It is quite possible that he already has a girlfriend with whom he feels good, and the other acts as an alternate airfield. The situation is still difficult.
Avoids his beloved
Strange behavior of a man sometimes manifests itself in communication between partners. A long connection is suddenly interrupted for several reasons:
- Feels guilty before his friend. The offense can be minor: you broke your favorite cup, forgot to buy the necessary products, overdid it with alcohol at a corporate party. However, knowing the hot-tempered nature of his partner, the guy prefers to wait out the storm away from the angry lady of his heart.
- Love has passed. The young man lost interest in his partner because he felt cold. Fearing a serious conversation, I decided to leave in English, without saying goodbye. And, in order not to traumatize his ex-lover, he tries to avoid unexpected meetings.
- Treason has occurred. Men are monogamous creatures, addicted to nature. Therefore, they allow themselves innocent pranks without interrupting their permanent relationship. To cope with remorse, the guy ignores his beloved under any pretext, fearing that the secret will become apparent.
If a girl is being avoided by a man with whom you are in a relationship, be patient and take a break. Don’t insist on an explanation, let the guy sort out his own feelings and desires. Solve problems as they arise.
Avoids meeting strangers
Let's look at a situation where a girl is avoided by a man with whom she has nothing in common except casual meetings.
Sometimes rejection occurs on an intuitive level. A person loses the ability to logically explain the reasons for a negative attitude. However, more often the desire to bypass this or that lady is quite understandable. Guys don't like:
- Stupid girls; If during a meeting a woman becomes speechless, getting off with routine remarks about the weather, the communication will end at the first stage of acquaintance. Lack of intelligence, ability to carry on a conversation, or sense of humor forces the partner to retreat. Attractive appearance and stylish clothes rarely compensate for the lack of common interests. The guy will get bored, disappointed, and will avoid further meetings.
- Intrusive ladies; Sometimes a girl begins to pursue the young man she likes. He pesters you with phone calls, bothers you with messages, and tries to be nearby all the time. And then he wonders: “Why is the guy avoiding me?” Such behavior is frightening and is perceived as a violation of personal space.
- Strange people. The desire to stand out from the crowd is understandable and natural. But attracting attention with vulgarity, rudeness, or unbalanced behavior means causing a negative reaction from others. Of course, they will notice the girl, but they will not want to communicate.
If your chosen one's indifference is annoying, try changing his behavior. If you don’t achieve results, switch your attention to another object.
Sudden neglect and its reasons
Guys' behavior is sometimes unpredictable, it can drive girls crazy
and make them think about what is happening. A long-term relationship is not a reason to think that feelings will last forever. Some women often wonder whether a man can love and at the same time ignore for some reason.
Situations when a guy ignores a girl are quite common; the reasons for this behavior can be different:
- resentment;
- another love;
- reluctance to continue the relationship;
- fear of serious actions;
- the girl is not worthy to be near him;
- expecting initiative from the girl;
- cooling of feelings.
In such situations, many girls think what to do if a guy constantly ignores whether this could indicate the end of the relationship. There is no need to do anything, since this situation may not be standard. If you care about a guy, give him time to figure everything out and understand how to behave.
He's afraid
Half of men are the most fearful creatures in the world in intergender relationships. They are afraid of what they do not understand. The other half is in the happy delusion that they understand women.
And women, these airy creatures (up to 150 kg), will not even lift a finger to explain to a possible lover the full depth of his delusions. They just flutter and flirt, ready to make eyes at any male individual of reproductive age.
And how can an inexperienced young man not be shy if today a girl is with him, and tomorrow...
“When a man begins to understand women, he is no longer interesting as a man” (Rex Mobley)
For what reasons does a man reject a woman?
The reasons for refusing to get closer to a woman you like are the following changes in behavior:
- The man has difficult experiences in past relationships.
This reason is common; as a rule, the partner’s restraint and indecisiveness may not give a chance to develop a wonderful relationship. His behavior is dictated by the banal fear of again finding himself in a situation where you want to leave, when you as a person are being destroyed.
Yes, you shouldn’t think that only men can be abusive and have toxic relationships. According to statistics, it is women who are more prone to dependent relationships, which means they are more likely to create the conditions for a strong emotional attachment, which sometimes torments a man.
- I don’t want to call the next reason an “inferiority” complex; it would be better also the fear that a man is not good enough for the woman he has chosen.
In this situation, events can develop according to a variety of scenarios; a feeling of fear can anger him and provoke aggression, specifically towards this woman. In the same way, he can give her gifts for months, show various signs of attention, but at the same time keep her at a distance, he does not admit to himself that he is afraid, he chooses the option of “testing” his feelings. As a rule, such checks end in a complete break in relations.
Why is a man afraid of the girl he is in love with?
- A serious reason is the man’s financial condition.
It’s like in the movie “Office Romance”, a man subordinate can timidly show his sympathy for a woman boss, but at the same time he is afraid that he will be suspected of commercialism or that he will not be able to financially provide for such a woman.
- Careerists are good people, but in pursuit of a new title or status, they lose all chances of finding true love.
They simply don’t have time, and they put their work above everything, even their personal life. Such a man can fall in love with a woman, think about her, but when he puts his achievements, possible prospects and family on the scale, the choice will be made in the direction of work. He will maintain a relationship with a woman, continue to meet from time to time, but he is unlikely to dare to have a closer and more emotional relationship.
- It is not uncommon during consultations with a psychologist that it turns out that many men have met women in their lives who left a bright mark, but they missed them without giving both of them a chance for happiness.
The reason for this behavior is the same fear that lives in the subconscious that no relationship with the opposite sex can end happily. A man could make such a conclusion while still a child if his parents divorced.
Each case is individual, and no one can tell you exactly what thoughts make a man push away the woman he loves.
There are a couple more assumptions why a man does not approach a woman, for example:
- A man who dates a woman, cares for her and spends time with her from time to time does not allow the romance to develop into something more serious. Perhaps the woman has not yet realized that her chosen one loves open relationships, he does not intend to take responsibility and start a family.
- A man with high self-esteem also does not seek to get closer to a woman due to the conclusion that she may not entirely meet his needs. Unfortunately, such types of relationships take place in our lives.
In any case, you should always understand that the reasons are the man’s “problems”; the woman should not take them personally. Many girls immediately begin to come up with explanations for this behavior towards them and, as a rule, are mistaken, believing that the problem is in themselves.
Selfish and emotionally cold men
Emotionally cold men do not show their emotions or show them sparingly. Not the way we would like it, but it seems to us that the man is indifferent and indifferent to us, has grown cold, has stopped loving us.
If you want to maintain a relationship with your loved one, then the advice is quite simple - perceive him as he is.
After all, his tightness and ignorance do not mean that he does not love you. He simply does not know how to show his feelings. Perhaps you will melt his icy heart with your actions and actions, as Gerda did from The Snow Queen, so try.
What features are characteristic of this type? By studying them, you will most likely find an explanation for why he is cold towards you. Emotionally cold men simply do not know how to express their feelings beautifully, they do not have empathy - the ability to feel the emotions of other people. There are many reasons that form this type of nervous system. The most common among them:
- Cold relations in the family where the boy was raised. That is, since childhood, the child has not seen the warm manifestation of his father’s feelings for his mother and copies the model of his family.
- The strict upbringing of a boy who was constantly taught that real men should not show their emotions: cry, show affection - that is, not be a “girl”.
- Often, as observations show, boys who were raised by their mother or mother and grandmother themselves grow up to be emotionally repressed, that is, the child lived in the “woman's kingdom.”
- Coldness in relationships can appear in men who have had bad experiences in past relationships, where his openness and emotionality were not appreciated or even ridiculed.
- Sometimes the roots of emotional constriction are medical in nature. There is even such a definition as alexithymia - the exclusion of feelings in any of their manifestations. But we think that if you have already built a relationship with a man, it means that the man has previously shown his emotions to you, proved his love and feelings. This means that such a disorder is not typical for him. After all, alexithymatic people do not know how to love at all; they do not even have feelings of pity or compassion.
By mixing together family relationships, the Indian kingdom, and the unsuccessful experience of previous relationships, we get an emotionally cold person.
It is important to distinguish an emotionally cold man from an egoist. This is not difficult to do. Consider Chapman's love languages. At least somehow the emotionally squeezed partner shows his love - at least in a word, at least in an action, at least with a look.
But the egoist does not show his feelings in any way. He only takes advantage of your love and patience. Therefore, one piece of advice to girls - look for another partner, or you will take care of him all your life, or just live under the same roof, like neighbors.
Why men are afraid of strong women
Why is it scary to love?
men with a visual vector What if another love will be even stronger?”, “What if the feelings will be brighter and everything will be like in the movies What if I still don’t love this girl and the relationship will break her heart
, a real man doesn’t cry too soft
Short Game3
Another fairly common reason is that a man just plays, he enjoys it. This is a reason to light a fire inside a girl so that she burns and wants to communicate with a certain man. However, you need to be careful and measured with such tactics, otherwise you may completely lose the girl. Downgrade of what? Attention! Men do not like close attention to themselves, so it should be reduced on the part of girls. The main thing is not to doubt yourself and maintain inner peace. Girls love moderately self-confident guys.