Psychologists like to visually explain the difference between people with different types of temperament through the incident with the hat. The man sat down on a bench and took off his elegant headdress. Suddenly - hello, please - an inattentive passerby landed right on him. If the owner of the damaged hat is choleric, he will shout at the bungler and, having relieved his soul, will calm down. A phlegmatic person won’t even think about worrying—just think, what a disaster. The sanguine person will laugh at all. Only a melancholic person will suffer for a long time, painfully over a trifle.
The typical owner of this temperament has a difficult time living. And how difficult it is to live with him...
Is it possible to cheer up a melancholic person?
Many consider a melancholic person to be an ordinary whiner who only knows how to complain about life. He is constantly depressed, unable to become the life of the party. You should generally stay away from him so as not to become infected with pessimism (see Why I am a pessimist). This opinion is shared by many people who do not realize that the personality of a melancholic person is much more multifaceted than they are accustomed to think.
- general information
- How to recognize a melancholic person?
- Character Virtues
- Flaws
- Childhood
- Career
- Relationship building
- Health Features
- Melancholic and relationships with representatives of other types of temperaments
- Training on personality psychotypes and profiling
When to ask for help
A melancholic state requires diagnosis and professional intervention by specialists (psychologist, psychotherapist) only until the development of neurotic disorders begins. If melancholic is your type of temperament, there is no need to treat or seek the help of specialists. But, of course, be sure to carefully monitor your psychological state, note any changes and adhere to a healthy lifestyle, avoiding bad habits that lead to the development of psychological, mental and neurotic disorders.
It is necessary to consult a specialist when your state of melancholy is prolonged
general information
Melancholic people have an inert type of temperament. We can talk about the presence of the following character traits: emotionality (see Emotions), anxiety (see Anxiety disorders), high sensitivity. Among the representatives of the creative elite there are many melancholic people. Such people are introverts who always refuse to visit entertainment venues. They feel uncomfortable at noisy parties and in large companies. It’s better to spend time quietly, calmly, read a book, draw. They are considered too reserved and calm people.
Do you want to read people instantly in 5 seconds?
Read more about the Training “Applied Profiling”
How to recognize a melancholic person?
First of all, based on such characteristics as:
- Too quiet, inexpressive speech, sometimes with defects, stuttering, rapid pronunciation of phrases);
- Drooping corners of the eyes and lips, weak facial expressions;
- Uncertain, sluggish and slow movements;
- Preference for closed poses (hands hidden in pockets).
- The desire not to stand out in the crowd with the help of nondescript clothes (see Color Psychology) and lack of makeup.
Melancholic people are distinguished by an extreme degree of indecision and wariness. They are afraid to face changes; it is much easier to live a stable life, remembering the happy moments of the past. This type of temperament is characterized by increased emotionality, but they try to restrain themselves and not show their true feelings.
Absolutely any little thing can throw such a person off balance (see How to develop stress resistance). Only on the outside they can look like a “snow iceberg,” but inside they have a real typhoon, which the people around them don’t even know about.
Any criticism, even mild and constructive, can throw a person off balance. They may get upset and shut down. Only sincere praise can serve as motivation (see Negative and positive motivation) for a melancholic person.
The suffering of an animal, an unexpected pleasant surprise, or watching a too-sad movie can cause tears in a melancholic person. It cannot be said that a representative of this type only complains about life and cries all the time. He is in a state of slight nostalgic sadness, which he cannot do anything about. He even likes her. He is able to draw inspiration from it, living again and again those feelings that were experienced earlier.
Character Virtues
Creative potential
It is important to note that a melancholic person has a rich imagination, developed intuition (see How to develop intuition), and resourcefulness. He more than enjoys creating something new, drawing energy from his creations. It is worth mentioning that a person knows how to appreciate and see the beauty of the world around him. He is able to notice the most subtle, beautiful details that other people simply do not notice.
This personality type finds inspiration in the most ordinary things. He has increased sensitivity and responsiveness to all types of arts. Only melancholic people are able to be so deeply imbued with musical works and masterpieces of world painting and literature.
Thoughtfulness
Representatives of this type of temperament like to draw conclusions, analyze and think. They are interested in reading detective stories, philosophical treatises, and being interested in various sciences. They want to solve crosswords, spend time reading, and looking for answers to logical riddles. They are able to think through everything in detail and reflect before deciding to take one step or another.
It is important to mention that melancholic people learn very quickly and have critical thinking. They manage to retain the acquired skills for a long time, which allows them to teach other people.
Developed empathy
Unlike representatives of other personality types, melancholic people are well aware of the true significance of feelings. They have a sense of compassion and highly developed empathy. They have a real gift - the ability to support, listen, and feel other people's emotions (see Emotional Intelligence). For melancholic people, the inner world of a person is of great importance.
For a long time, a melancholic person will be impressed by other people's experiences. He is distinguished by kindness, a penchant for kindness and mercy. All these qualities are manifested sincerely, without any benefit. This is the same person who is able to selflessly help strangers.
Psychologism
Melancholic people are well versed in others. They have intelligence and empathy, which allows them to literally see right through people. Of course, he is not capable, like an x-ray, of unraveling everything that is hidden in the soul of his interlocutor, but a few hours are enough to understand what a person is like. It is curious that it is melancholic people who immediately note if any problems arise in communication, in business, in the field of health and career. This is facilitated by observation and developed intuition.
Read on topic:
Quest for intuition! —
Where did the word melancholy come from and what did it mean?
In order to better understand the essence of the melancholic state, it is worth understanding the origin of the word “melancholy” itself.
Melancholia (melancholia) – (from the Greek “black bile”) – in Russian terminology “dark insanity”, “spleen”.
The appearance of the word “melancholy” dates back to ancient times; at that time it was considered a serious illness, and until the 1990s, experts defined melancholy as an independent mental disorder. The term itself was introduced by Hippocrates in the 4th century BC. According to him, a melancholic state appears when “black bile” (melas hole) begins to spill in the human body. Hippocrates turned out to be not far from the truth, because modern medicine indeed correlates the occurrence of internal processes in the body with melancholy, but, of course, this is not connected with any bile.
Melancholia was previously defined as an independent mental disorder
Flaws
Touchiness
People with this temperament can take on the role of a victim. They often offend with or without reason. They are distinguished by vindictiveness, inability to express emotions, and let go of grievances (see How to forgive grievances). Melancholic people are able to remember grievances for a long time. They would be happy to take revenge, but indecision and isolation (see Introvert) do not allow them to commit this act.
Vulnerability
A representative of this temperament is still a pessimist (see Why I am a pessimist). It is not easy for him to find reasons for joy, while sadness can arise without any apparent reason. He is afraid of many things, takes many aspects too warily and seriously. Melancholic people can boast of a huge number of fears, which take the form of phobias (see Phobias and their treatment with hypnosis).
It is curious that innocent criticism or a careless joke can turn into a deep insult for melancholic people. They may be offended by an accidentally thrown word, which representatives of other temperaments would have forgotten long ago.
Focus on other people's opinions
Melancholic people are characterized by increased stubbornness, a tendency to consider their own opinion the most important and irreplaceable. Surprisingly, such people still suffer from low self-esteem (see How to Increase Self-Esteem). It does not allow you to adequately perceive even constructive criticism.
- When praised, the melancholic person simply blossoms, and excitement appears to continue the activity. He can continue work that does not bring pleasure, just to hear compliments and pleasant words again.
- When criticized, a melancholic person is able to fall into a depressive state and stop any attempts to change the situation. He will give up his favorite activities, believing that he is simply mediocrity, although this has no objective basis.
Do you want to read people instantly in 5 seconds?
Read more about the Training “Applied Profiling”
Perfectionism
A melancholic person always strives to do the job perfectly. This can only be prevented by his emotionality, which can cause serious problems. It is worth mentioning the presence of increased demands both on yourself and on the people around you. This may not please his colleagues, as well as close people.
general characteristics
In short, melancholic people are characterized by the following features:
- increased emotionality;
- shyness;
- isolation;
- diffidence;
- impressionability;
- empathy;
- sensitivity;
- desire for loneliness.
This is the most anxious, easily wounded type and prone to deep emotional experiences. Despite increased emotionality, a melancholic person will hide his inner experiences, tormenting himself and literally eating him from the inside.
Such suppression of one’s feelings drives a melancholic person into a prolonged depression. The world for him becomes gray and nondescript. By the way, psychologists have noticed that the majority of suicides are melancholic people.
However, not everything is so clear in the characteristics of this type. Melancholic people have a multifaceted character. They also have the following qualities:
- stubbornness;
- perfectionism;
- analytical thinking.
Thanks to one of the main qualities of this type - stubbornness - a melancholic person is an independent person. He always has his own opinion and vision of any problem or issue. At the same time, he sincerely considers his opinion to be the most correct and almost ideal. Therefore, she often remains alone with him.
Perfectionism is another striking feature of a melancholic person. He sets unreasonably high demands for others, including himself. And he gets terribly upset if anything is done imperfectly from his point of view.
And if someone points out the shortcomings of the melancholic person himself (a wrinkled shirt, a crookedly parked car, etc.), then he becomes very upset and considers himself insignificant. Despite the fact that his self-esteem is already very low. In these situations, a person of melancholic temperament experiences a feeling of guilt and shame for not meeting his own requirements.
Melancholic people are characterized by an increased tendency to analyze any information. This explains their predictability. They do not like suddenness and unexpectedness, so they carefully think through their daily routine and personal plan of action. Because of this, they are often considered boring.
And yet the main qualities characteristic of people of the melancholic type are:
- deep emotional sensitivity;
- subtle mental organization;
- heightened sense of beauty.
It is these qualities that make a melancholic person a romantic person with a rich imagination, a creative and extraordinary personality with brilliant talent. It was thanks to melancholy people that many masterpieces appeared in music, poetry, painting, architecture and other fields of art.
Known melancholic people include:
- Isaac Newton;
- Charles Darwin;
- Frederic Chopin;
- N.V. Gogol;
- P. I. Tchaikovsky;
- S. A. Yesenin;
- Michael Jackson;
- Elvis Presley and others.
With proper upbringing, a melancholic person will be able to develop the best qualities in himself and achieve significant heights in his field. To do this, he also needs to learn to accept people and things as they are. And focus more on contemplating all the beautiful things that exist in the world.
Indeed, in addition to beauty, a melancholic person is very sensitive to injustice, rudeness, and rudeness. Most often, in response to insults, he will cry and be offended, but will not swear or respond to the offender. He will plunge into himself and experience the insult in deep loneliness.
A melancholic person is definitely an introvert by his psychotype. This is evidenced by its inherent qualities:
- desire for loneliness;
- shyness, which prevents him from meeting people, because he considers himself completely uninteresting;
- the embarrassment he experiences when communicating with new people makes him stop this communication very quickly, so as not to find himself in an awkward situation.
Despite the fact that people of melancholic temperament are extremely shy towards adults, they communicate with children and animals very easily and joyfully. This gives them real pleasure, so they often choose professions:
- teacher;
- teachers;
- nannies;
- veterinarian
These professions allow them to realize their desire to care for the weak and take care of our little brothers. Melancholic people also feel great in the information space, so they often become:
- copywriters;
- editors;
- analysts;
- auditors;
- scientists;
- inventors.
Melancholic people love to work even despite the fear of difficulties and high fatigue. Their inquisitive mind is able to come up with many tricks to speed up the work process and quickly achieve the desired result. But for this, people of this type must have appropriate conditions. Here's a short list:
- a separate office, if possible (or work from home);
- the ability to independently regulate your work process;
- free or flexible work schedule.
You can easily recognize a melancholic person by the following signs:
- While talking to him, it will seem to you that he is sad or stressed about something.
- He may be offended by any slightest careless statement.
- He has a quiet voice, weak gestures and facial expressions.
- He is overly thoughtful and tends to deeply analyze what is happening around him.
- He will stubbornly defend his point of view, considering it the only correct one.
- If you praise him for his real achievements, he will definitely come up with an excuse as to why this really happened. After all, his low self-esteem does not allow him to accept praise.
- He is a very creative, imaginative and unusual person.
Childhood
A child with this type of temperament absolutely loves learning something new. If he avoids severe stressful situations, interest in learning will remain for a long time. Most often, a melancholic person successfully studies in almost all subjects. Much depends on the attitude of the teacher himself. He must take into account the characteristics of the child, who finds it easier to work independently than in a group. It is important to understand that a melancholic person is afraid to raise his hand to answer and can easily lose concentration. He doesn't like physical education because he needs to prove himself.
Friendly relations
At any age, a melancholic person does not like to be the center of attention (see Why attention is important). He will feel more comfortable when he can be alone with himself, read a book, or draw. You can't expect him to try to get to know you first. He is quite hesitant to get along with his peers and can be friends with younger children. A melancholic person may lose friends due to his tendency to be a homebody. At the same time, he values his close people very much. He doesn’t want to change friends or start empty conversations.
Features of education
A child with this type of temperament may well become a victim of school bullying (see Bulling - school bullying). People around him may try to “stir up” him, to bring out his emotions. Often, peers do not like a child who is too serious and is interested in “smarter things.”
A melancholic person will suffer from a lack of respect from people around him, but will never tell his parents. It is important to notice any changes in your child's behavior.
conclusions
Having understood the phenomenon of melancholy, you will now be able to timely assess your internal state. Melancholic people derive pleasure from their perception of the outside world; for them this is a completely normal state. But if you are not one of the melancholic people and this state seems uncomfortable to you and prevents you from fully enjoying life, then first you need to realize its negative impact. Try to add bright colors to your everyday life, and if you cannot overcome the melancholic state on your own, it is best to seek professional help.
Career
It is easier for a person with this type of temperament to occupy the position of a subordinate. He prefers to simply do his job well. The most suitable professions are: artist, accountant, programmer, scientist, nurse, psychologist. They like work related to analytical thinking and the search for the meaning of life (see How to find your place in life).
A melancholic person has a hard time tolerating:
- Huge responsibility, risk, fast pace of work;
- Tensions in the team, conflict situations, intrigues (see: Got stuck at work);
- Long work without breaks (need breaks every 2-3 hours);
- Constant cooperation (effectiveness of individual work);
- Changeability, lack of social insurance and fixed wages.
It is important to realize that such a specialist will be extremely indispensable in situations that involve the disclosure of creative potential, calculations, forecasting, learning new things, showing empathy, and helping other people.
What does pseudomelancholy mean?
In the medical literature you can find such a term as “pseudomelancholia”. People in old age are susceptible to pseudomelancholia, which is why the term “senile pseudomelancholia” is more often used. Pseudomelancholia is not an independent disease; it is one of the symptoms and manifestations of dementia. It is associated primarily with atrophic dementia, senile psychoses, and brain atrophy.
Pseudomelancholia
Svetlana Kovalenko
Psychologist, clinical psychologist
Ask a Question
Pseudomelancholia appears, first of all, due to a genetic predisposition; its first manifestations are observed in older people. The appearance of anxiety, memory deterioration, decreased intellectual abilities - these symptoms develop slowly, but it is no longer possible to stop the course of the disorder, ultimately leading the patient to senile dementia. As a result, a person plunges into a state of uncertainty and depression due to the development of an underlying disease, one of the symptoms of which can be melancholy.
Relationship building
Quite often, melancholic people are monogamous. They are distinguished by devotion, loyalty, and willingness to help, despite their own inconveniences. A person with this type of temperament expects a similar attitude from his partner.
It is important to realize that a melancholic person greatly values emotional intimacy. He wants to feel, hear and see that he is loved. Each time a person will look for confirmation of feelings. As soon as the candy-bouquet period ends (see Psychology of relationships between men and women), the melancholic person experiences a real tragedy. He will believe that feelings and good attitudes disappear.
The need for emotional support is not an obstacle to a melancholic person’s love of solitude. The most important thing is that he does not spend all his time alone (see Psychology of loneliness), which will lead to depressive disorder. It is important to realize that a person with this type of temperament does not like to swear, but may burst into tears because he had a dream about a breakup.
In addition, a melancholic person will exhibit the following behavioral characteristics:
- Excessive romanticism, which will be appreciated in a partner;
- Expects that the relationship may deteriorate;
- Try to maintain relationships because you become attached to a loved one;
- Loves to please other people, forgetting about his own interests;
- Wants to see strong personalities next to him in order to feel their care;
- Demanding, but kind-hearted towards children.
Diagnosis and treatment of melancholy
When you cannot get yourself out of a state of melancholy on your own, then the intervention of specialists is required. During diagnosis, a clinical interview with a psychiatrist or psychotherapist is prescribed; questionnaires and short tests are used for screening. In certain cases, a psychiatrist prescribes drug treatment, but as practice shows, taking drugs cannot always help in the fight against the disorder. The main treatment is carried out by a psychotherapist. During this period, it is important for a patient with melancholy to understand himself, and a specialist will help him break the circle of negative associations and form positive thinking.
Only in extreme cases, medication is prescribed to treat melancholy.
Health Features
The nervous system is considered the most vulnerable point of a melancholic person (see Psychosomatics and its causes). It is characterized by poor resistance to stress, which makes it susceptible to any diseases. It is worth noting that the largest number of strokes is observed in melancholic people.
Another problem area for a person with this type of temperament is the lungs. He is used to keeping emotions to himself, which leads to psychosomatic disorders (heaviness in the chest, cough, asthma).
You can also note the presence of problems with posture (scoliosis, stoop). Incorrect position of the vertebrae leads to pinching of blood vessels and nerve endings. You may encounter neurological problems (headaches, fainting, dizziness).
The difference between melancholy and depression
It is often noted that melancholy is synonymous with depression; many symptoms and signs of melancholy and depression are identical. How to distinguish melancholy from depression? Psychologists more often call melancholy a mood disorder. Psychologists call the main difference between melancholy and depression the duration of the depressed state. With melancholy, a decrease in mood in comparison with a person’s normal state, thoughts about uselessness, suicidal thoughts remain only thoughts. In depression, there is a decrease in mood over a long period of time, and in severe depression, people are able to turn their negative thoughts into actions.
If you observe yourself having thoughts similar to depression, consult a specialist immediately
Melancholic and relationships with representatives of other types of temperaments
Melancholic-melancholic
We can talk about a creative emotional tandem, people in which understand each other well and value the couple’s personal space. Another issue is that partners can hush up problems, which leads to feelings of guilt (see Overcome feelings of guilt) and difficulties in communication.
Two melancholic people show themselves best in friendship and work. This is a real club of like-minded people, where people will support each other and help each other to express their emotions.
Melancholic-sanguine
Such a marriage has many prospects. An active sanguine person will help a partner become discouraged less often. A melancholic person will learn to enjoy life (see what is the secret of happiness), discover new horizons, receive more vivid emotions and impressions. There will be no drastic changes, but the care of the sanguine person will be appreciated.
The friendships will be wonderful. A melancholic person will be able to draw inspiration from his friend. You won't be able to act together at work. The sanguine person will try to push all the work onto the melancholic person.
Read the description of Sanguine here:
Melancholic-phlegmatic
In terms of work, the relationship will be excellent. If we take friendship, then the phlegmatic person will frighten the melancholic person with his indifference and “woodiness.” He will not understand how you can say anything to a person and not receive an emotional response. No relationships can be built, since people will not be able to interest each other. Their communication will quickly come to naught.
Read the description of Phlegmatic here:
Melancholic-choleric
Our hero will be dissatisfied with the activity, assertiveness, arrogance and tactlessness of the choleric person. He doesn’t like that a person is “too noisy” or tries to violate personal boundaries. Of course, a melancholic person would like to say a lot to a choleric person, but he will be afraid to declare his dissatisfaction. He will simply harbor a grudge (see How to forgive a grudge) and will avoid the company of this insolent person. We can say that such a couple will take place, but only for a short time.
Experts advise not to be afraid of melancholic people, with whom it can be difficult because of their pessimism, tendency to criticize and gloom. In fact, their personality is much more diverse and multifaceted. The main thing is to notice the positive sides of such a person, as he is capable of becoming a wonderful friend and partner. There are very few people in the world who have empathy, are able to support in difficult times and arrange a grand romantic evening.
Read the description of Choleric here:
Properties of temperament in psychology
Human temperament is based on a number of specific properties, such as:
Sensitivity. This is the degree of force of external influence necessary for a reaction to occur on the part of the psyche. Some people react calmly to external stimuli, others react violently;
Reactivity. The property of reactivity is determined by the level of involuntary reaction to internal or external influence (sharp sound, tone of voice);
Activity, the ratio of activity and reactivity. These properties indicate how a person reacts to life's difficulties. Is he ready to overcome various obstacles in life, to be focused, persistent, attentive;
Rigidity and plasticity. These properties of temperament can indicate how skillfully a person can adapt to external influences of the social environment;
Rate of reactive activity. They characterize the speed of mental processes and reactions to external stimuli;
Introversion and extroversion. These properties depend on the speed of human reactions and the speed of solutions applied;
Emotional excitability. Characterizes the degree of external influence on a person in the form of manifestations of signs of emotional arousal;
