07/13/2018 · Pro Psychosomatics · Comments: ·
When clients come to us for consultations, at the first meeting most of them do not know how to formulate their request. We often hear: “I feel bad, what should I do” or “I have lost myself” or “My husband is not what I want. What can I do to make it the way I need it? Let's figure out what questions you can ask a psychologist.
Let's move on from the problem and divide all the problems into the following:
- difficult life situation (inability to choose from several options),
- emotional state (depression, shame, guilt, fears),
- low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence,
- lack of understanding of what to do in life,
- problems with personal relationships (from absence to quarrels),
- psychological problems (phobias; obsessive-compulsive disorder - read our article on how to get rid of OCD; psychosomatics - here we also wrote reviews about psychosomatics from our clients).
This is not the entire list, but clients are more likely to address one of these items.
What is happiness?
Aristotle gave the following definition: “Happiness is the activity of the soul in the fullness of virtue.” Nothing more serious appeared for a long time. But today there is another approach, according to which a happy person is one who feels himself so,
and happiness is more a matter of subjective opinion. At the same time, studies on the relationship between genetic factors indicate that their influence can vary in the range from 10 to 40%. There are a number of genes, each of which makes a small but statistically significant contribution. In total they make a fairly significant contribution.
As for the common question, is money the source of happiness, the answer is yes, but to a certain level. When basic needs are not satisfied, a person does not eat well, he has no confidence in his own safety, there is no roof over his head, no home, and so on, then frustration arises in his life, which prevents him from being happy. But as soon as a person reaches the level of satisfaction of basic needs that is characteristic of the middle class today, he reaches very specific limits of saturation.
We know that happiness cannot last long for a number of reasons. We are always doomed to move in the direction of what we want. Only for a very short time can we fully achieve this merger, and then we again live at some distance from what we want. And this distance creates tension, which leads to the fact that at certain moments in life we experience a state of happiness, and the rest of the time we try to find this state again. Happiness is not a destination, but a journey.
Do mentally healthy people exist?
Of course they exist.
However, there are different approaches to understanding normality and pathology. The psychoanalytic school believes that the most mentally healthy people are neurotics, people who have internal conflicts, experience some mental suffering and should visit a psychoanalyst. But at the same time, they have no problems understanding reality; they have mature defense mechanisms.
If we talk about the clinical interpretation of this problem, a normal psychological state is one that does not require a trip to the doctor. The existential-humanistic position is that health implies certain psychological characteristics of the individual that make him capable of self-development, creating close relationships, and capable of viewing life as a certain life project that has meaning.
When we talk about health and illness, we can think of it in dichotomous terms. If each of us is measured on a certain scale: depression, anxiety, hostility, aggressiveness, etc., then most likely, if a person answers honestly, each of us will be at some point on the depression scale, at some point on the anxiety scale. In a situation when this point begins to approach critical, you should think about how to help yourself and not bring the situation to clinical severity.
Psychologists' answers to your questions
How to find a good psychoanalyst? What is the difference between a psychoanalyst, psychologist and psychotherapist? Who is a good psychoanalyst? What is a psychoanalyst's appointment? Here we will try to explain the difference between these concepts and the differences in psychological counseling methods.
Our Center employs three specialists working in a psychoanalytic approach. These are certified psychoanalytic psychologist Denis Kamensky , psychologist of the psychoanalytic approach Irina Makeeva and clinical psychologist of the psychoanalytic approach Natalya Sorokina . These Center specialists have undergone special additional training in the method of psychoanalysis and have extensive experience in psychological counseling and psychoanalytic psychotherapy.
Typically, a person coming for a consultation and seeking the help of a psychologist for the first time does not understand the differences between a psychoanalyst, a psychologist and a psychotherapist. Even in Moscow, where the range of psychological services is quite widely represented and there is every opportunity to find the necessary information - and perhaps precisely because there is too much unstructured and contradictory information - people constantly confuse these concepts. about the differences between the concepts of “psychologist”, “psychotherapist” and “psychiatrist” on our website, and on this page we will talk about how seeing a psychoanalyst differs from consulting a psychologist or psychotherapist .
If we talk about the ideas of most people who are not related to psychology, a psychoanalyst is a psychologist who “analyzes our psyche” during an appointment. And it becomes unclear, how are other psychologists and psychotherapists different? Don't they analyze? Or is it somehow “worse” to analyze?.. In fact, any good specialist, no matter what method he prefers, will definitely do analytical work with you if necessary. And if you want to come for one or more consultations, you do not need to choose a specialist based on the criteria: psychologist, psychoanalyst or psychotherapist.
However, all this does not answer the question: who is a psychoanalyst in general? How does his appointment differ from that of other specialists – psychologists and psychotherapists? Let us briefly explain the situation in Russia: in our country, a psychoanalyst is a psychologist. In the Russian classifier of professions there is no profession “psychoanalyst”, there is only “psychologist”. Psychoanalysis is just one of the methods of psychological counseling that all psychologists must know. Some choose it as the leading method in their work, some do not. That is, among psychologists there are also psychoanalysts. And according to the law, a psychotherapist is generally a doctor, he is not a psychoanalyst or a psychologist . However, many psychologists, in the Western tradition, call themselves “psychotherapists,” which creates some confusion.
Since the concept of “psychoanalyst” came to Russia from abroad, and there a psychoanalyst is a doctor who has a medical education and knows the method of psychoanalysis, we, having watched enough Western films, also believe that a psychoanalyst is a doctor. This is not the case in Russia. The method of psychoanalysis is studied by all students of psychological faculties of universities, and then the specialist psychologist continues to improve as a professional in various methods. In particular, he can choose the method of psychoanalysis , undergo training and receive additional education, including European programs. In addition – and this is a must! – receive your own psychoanalytic psychotherapy (that is, go to an appointment with a psychoanalyst at least once a week for several years) and constant supervision by an experienced psychoanalyst. Preferably in Moscow or St. Petersburg, or even better, abroad, and only after all this can you really consider yourself a “real” psychoanalyst . But, since there is no official profession of “psychoanalyst” in Russia, not only graduates who have received a diploma in psychology call themselves this way, but, unfortunately, a huge number of other “specialists” who do not even have a basic psychological education. In particular, there are such statements: “the appointment is conducted by a chiropractor-psychoanalyst,” and even... “a fortune-teller-psychanalyst will tell the truth about the future!”
Now let's talk in more detail about the differences between a psychoanalyst and a psychotherapist. A psychotherapist in Russia is only a doctor (this is a medical specialty)! This is a psychiatrist who has completed a course in psychotherapy, passed an exam on it and received the corresponding document - a certificate of advanced training. This has nothing to do with psychoanalysis. At the medical faculties of medical universities, psychoanalysis is not included in the compulsory program. However, if a psychotherapist wants to become a psychoanalyst, he must go through the same path as a psychologist after receiving his education: study the method of psychoanalysis, undergo his own psychoanalysis and have a good psychoanalytic supervisor .
Let me give you an example: if you decide to find a math tutor for your child, you are unlikely to want to figure out who you have found - a specialist in number theory or differential equations. And you will be right - you just need a good mathematician. And preferably, a good teacher with experience in preparing applicants, and not an authoritative academician who has been deeply immersed in scientific activity for a long time.
Also in the case of psychological counseling, a good psychologist (psychotherapist) always knows how to use psychoanalysis in his work; do not look for a psychoanalyst. After all, anyone in Moscow or any other city in our country can call themselves a psychoanalyst - as we have already said, there is no such profession in the official classifiers. There are a lot of courses that provide “certificates” that may not confirm anything when tested, but it is almost impossible for a non-professional to understand this. The only thing that can be advised when choosing is to remember that the most important criterion is a good result. And a good result is a change in a person’s personality, his behavior, his reactions, even his character, a change in his views on the world, and sometimes in inadequate moral principles. And it’s good if you know someone with whom this happened, you see positive changes in the example - then the choice is not difficult to make. But if you don't know anyone:
1. It is advisable to choose based on reviews or on the recommendation of a good friend whom you trust and whose opinion you respect.
2. Be sure to pay attention to prices - the rule “the more expensive the better”, as well as the rule “why buy more expensive what you can buy cheaper” do not work. The prices for their services should be “reasonable” for you from a common sense point of view: if you feel that you are overpaying, this is not good, since you will have over-expectations (“expecting a miracle”), and you will not be able to afford more. shorter work hours if you need it; and if the cost of an appointment seems low to you, this is also bad, since you will not be able to evaluate a specialist, even if he is the best, and most importantly, you yourself are unlikely to try to work for this money, because not only a psychologist works at the appointment, but Of course you do too!
3. In the end, if you have absolutely no one to turn to for help, go to several specialists for an appointment and compare your impressions . Don't be afraid to trust yourself!
However, for those of you who still persistently want to understand the concepts, we will give here some explanation of how the method of psychoanalysis differs from all other methods of psychological practice:
Psychology is a young science (it is a little over two hundred years old), and psychoanalysis is the very first method of psychological, rather than medical, assistance to patients. Therefore, psychoanalysis has the longest history and the psychoanalytic school has the longest traditions. And this is probably why the word “psychoanalyst” also entered our language, like the words “psychologist” and “psychotherapist,” in contrast to other practical psychologists who have additional education and experience in other areas of psychological practice: for example, transactional analyst, Gestalt therapist, Jungian analyst, art therapist, systemic family therapist, existential psychotherapist, etc.
Although a psychologist-psychanalyst often commands greater respect from us, it makes sense to note once again that any certified psychologist with a higher education has probably studied psychoanalysis, among other methods. Quite often, people turn to the services of psychoanalysts because it is fashionable, they pay a lot of money, without understanding why. It is much better to find just a practicing psychologist of a good level. He is constantly improving in his profession: he takes master classes, seminars and participates in other forms of advanced training, where he learns to become even better at using various methods, including psychoanalysis. A good psychologist or psychotherapist must be in contact with colleagues, exchange experiences, be interested in the latest achievements of psychological science, and keep abreast of new research in his field.
All methods give results, and there is no need to look for a method that is suitable for you in your specific life situation, or to look for the “best” method, because the “best” method does not exist.
How to complete the gestalt?
An example from everyday life can explain what gestalt is: before starting a car trip, a person needs to determine the shortest route, and the navigator settings become a gestalt;
but if he notices the fuel indicator light coming on, anxiety and past experience will organize a new gestalt - he will start looking for a gas station. In the event of a call from his wife, his gestalt changes again. These gestalts will remain open during the trip, during which the person will be busy completing them: talking, refueling the car, driving, driving home - actions that satisfy the actualized needs. In the natural process of human life, gestalts are created as needs are actualized and destroyed as they are satisfied. If you want to complete the gestalt, become aware of it
, notice your need, regain your ability to creatively adapt, and either through direct or substitution action, consciously and spontaneously complete and destroy the existing gestalt.
Why does a person need to assert himself?
In everyday speech and everyday consciousness, “self-affirmation” is often associated with negative character traits, with behavior aimed at humiliating another person.
Indeed, one can come across many cases when a person is publicly ridiculed, insulted, humiliated, and not at all for the purpose of educating him, but to achieve a sense of self-worth. But self-affirmation is not limited to personal superiority over others. When asking the question of why a person needs to assert himself, we, first of all, associate this need with constructive superiority,
with a person’s desire to grow above himself.
What does your mood depend on?
There are external reasons - these are life events that are set from the outside and mediated through our internal characteristics.
This happens because different people have different attitudes to the situation and see different consequences and prospects in it. There are internal reasons - these are biological factors of mood, such as: the somatic role of health, the tone of the nervous system, biochemical balance, as well as mood fluctuations associated with seasonality or daily time. Psychological factors: when basic needs are satisfied, the mood is most often good. Firstly, it is security and predictability - what provides a person with the absence of anxiety. Secondly, it is the ability to experience pleasure and create situations for oneself in which it is experienced.
Feelings about yourself. A person cannot be in a good mood if he experiences negative emotions regarding his personality
. If he is dissatisfied with himself, cannot respect himself, if he has low self-esteem, then at every step he will encounter negative experiences that will affect his mood.
Self-realization, the understanding that your life is needed for something, that you leave a meaningful mark on this earth and that this is good not only for you, but for the whole world.
Is this your first therapy?
If you have had experience with a therapist in the past, it is likely that your former doctor gave you advice that did not help. Otherwise, why change it? This helps us understand which methods have been more effective in the past and which ones should be abandoned,” explains family therapist Danny Gibson from Los Angeles.
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“If the experience was positive, why? If not, why was it a negative experience? What would you like to do differently? The client controls the therapy session and I act as the guide.”
Why do we experience stress and should we avoid it?
Stress is a condition that occurs when the human body is exposed to stimuli to which it is difficult for it to adapt.
These may be the environmental conditions in which we live (polluted air, car noise), the large number of people we meet (in public transport or in a traffic jam), time limits, heavy physical activity, problems in the family and at work. All of this can cause stress. But stress is not always negative emotions. Euphoria is also stress, and therefore, unfortunately, you can die of joy. Stress is partly due to individual genetic characteristics. Carriers of certain gene variants react more strongly to stress or are slower to return to normal after a reaction and, as a result, are more likely to develop stress-related disorders. If we are talking about culture and upbringing, phenomena that are far from genetics, we cannot completely discount genes. It is the work of genes that allows us to record in the form of neural connections what life and parents teach children.
Stress affects the human condition both beneficially and detrimentally.
It can mobilize the body's strength and help increase human activity. But accumulated, cumulative stress is the result of experiencing many negative events. The consequences of such stress can be expressed in different ways: the normal level of wakefulness is disrupted, problems with sleep arise, somatic reactions appear, such as rapid heartbeat, breathing, etc. With such stress, problems with the gastrointestinal tract, various skin diseases and others may also occur. consequences.
How did you deal with the problem on your own that led you to therapy?
Many people ask this question to their clients to find out how they cope with stressful situations and difficult emotions. Are they doing something productive like meditation or spending time outdoors? Or are they relying on unhealthy habits?
“I find it helpful to learn about my client's strengths so that they can be used in future treatment,” says Kate. “Secondly, it allows me to understand whether the patient is using techniques that could aggravate the problem or potentially affect treatment.”
What is mental trauma?
Mental trauma, or, as psychologists say, mental trauma, is a condition that occurs as a result of a severe, extreme stressful event.
Such an event necessarily involves a threat to the life or physical integrity of both the individual himself and other people, for example his relatives. In everyday consciousness, trauma is often understood as negative everyday events: grievances, conflicts, insults or mental breakdowns. But often clients of psychotherapists and even experts in this field incorrectly define this concept.
There are two types of traumatic stressors. The first type is extreme single events: car accidents, robberies, assaults, single sexual assault. The impact of such stressors leads in the clinical version to classic PTSD with its main symptoms. The second type of traumatic situations is repeated traumatic exposures: military operations, living in the territory of military operations, repeated cases of sexual violence in the family. This is chronic traumatization, it is endured much more difficult by the individual, because in addition to the traumatic impact itself, the person also experiences its repetitions and lives in constant tension. Here the personality itself suffers, the system of its worldview suffers, the world for a person becomes hostile.
Why does depression occur?
The causes of depression are never clear-cut. The contribution of genetic factors is generally low, but there are disturbances in the metabolism of neurotransmitters. The main reasons are psychological, and first of all, these are violations of self-esteem and self-respect
, when a person has a certain idea of \u200b\u200bhis own self as unworthy of love and respect.
Psychological causes of depression also include problems in close relationships. When a person needs another person to feel alive and able to adapt to reality, he tends to merge with the other person and reduce the distance as much as possible. In such cases, a person experiences himself through another person, and the partner often feels suffocated. Such relationships often fall apart, and the person who needs this merger feels it as a loss of himself.
In addition, depression has social mechanisms. Here the cult of success, rationality, and well-being, which is inculcated through the media and parental education, comes to the fore. Social comparison mechanisms are activated, and when a person compares himself with other people, the comparison turns out to be not in his favor.
Do you feel comfortable with the people around you?
Loneliness can have serious consequences for mental and physical health. Therefore, your therapist will want to know if you have friends, a strong support system from those around you. If not, they can help you create one.
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“There is a lot of research that shows the importance of social support in psychological well-being,” Delavalla said. “Familiarity with your environment, even if only remotely, will help your therapist know how best to use it to maximize treatment effectiveness, and whether it is worth using it at all.”
How to develop creativity?
Creativity is a collective term for a whole “bouquet” of abilities.
You can behave in very different ways to develop these creative abilities. Dancing, drawing, theatrical art, discussion of scientific problems, invention - all this in one form or another has a positive effect on creativity. The most well-known methods of developing these abilities are tied in our culture to relatively early ages, when they try to develop creativity in children. For adults it is much worse written and drawn. Developing creativity in adulthood requires non-trivial actions
, non-trivial words, actions. Any classical spheres - artistic creativity, theatrical creativity, dance, verbal games, painting - are suitable as a material where you can develop your creative abilities. However, it is very important to do this systematically; results cannot be achieved in 10 minutes.
Before you get better, be prepared for therapy to make you worse
Therapy is not a quick fix to a problem. This is not a medicine, it is a remedy. The therapeutic process takes time, so be patient; many issues cannot be resolved in one or two sessions.
“Initially, therapy just lifts the lid and reveals some thoughts and feelings that have been bottled up until now, and this can lead to a temporary worsening of some symptoms,” Delavalla said. “The outcome of treatment should be the discovery of effective mechanisms that alleviate these symptoms.”
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